TRANSFORMATION WITHIN & WITHOUT

If we have read on the transformation within spoken about Ramalinga Adigal in the last post, the external transformation that comes prior to these internal transformations, comes with knowing our karma, following the five tenets set by Agathiyar for man and his purpose here in general, and coming to worship the Siddhas where each individual's purpose is then made known and henceforth he sets out to carry out only the wishes, desires and wants of the divine till his last days. He attains mukti while living having accomplished what he came to do. He is a Jeevanmukta having attained Jeevan Mukti. If the journey for an ordinary man who had come to see mundane things in life and live out his karma and desires ends abrutply, the Jeevamukta leaves the mortal form as and when either he wishes or his guru submits to his leaving. If in the former some souls take immediate rebirth as there is an urgent need, others spend some time in cold storage before coming back. In the latter, the Jeevanmuktas having served their true purpose and the divine's purpose continue serving their gurus and their lineage in their realm. If both my gurus Supramania Swami and Tavayogi had served him in the physical form here, Agathiyar told us that he had taken them back to help him in his realm. But he promises that he would be on hand and standby for us. Dhanvantri said that Tavayogi was guiding us in his Jothi form. Supramania Swami in asking me to light an oil lamp and keep it burning told me that he shall watch over me forever in the light of the flame. Both Yogi Ramsuratkumar and Bhagawan Nithyananda comforted their devotees that they could do more in the subtle sphere. 

In asking me to share the internal transformation taking place Agathiyar wants others keen to attain the states mentioned to get an idea before indulging in it. Recently he cautioned us about playing around with the breath. Vaasi yoga done wrongly could kill he warned. 

Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", the Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, warns that

"You must begin to purify the body before you attempt to practice any yoga worthy of the name. For real yoga is as dangerous to an impure and undisciplined body as a match to a cask of gunpowder." 

As Annie Besant cautions us on the need to prepare the physical self first, through the eight limbs of Yoga as in taking a pure satvic diet, among other restrictions, Patanjali in coming through a Nadi reading surprised me when he only spoke about the very basic and emphasized on my diet instead of jumping into some form of Yogic practice which I expected back then in my 27th Nadi Reading on 18.5.2008. Besides advising on the kind of food to consume, Patanjali asks to continue the Asana and Pranayama practices and prayers given by Tavayogi. He mentions that prayers (pujai), meditation (tavam) and Yoga (Yogam) can overcome Karma. He asks that I stay on this path. He instructs me to spread the teachings of the Siddhas. He reveals that this was his discourse on Yoga for me. He made it pretty simple for me.

We cannot possibly qualify as disciples as we want quick lessons and are in a rush to see things through and want immediate results. We chose and pick what we want to do, often dropping practices that need much effort and that are time consuming. We lack dedication and discipline often leaving these practices behind to attend to other matters that capture and allure our attention. For others keen to know impatience sets in and they sought shortcuts and miracles. When I met Tavayogi in 2005 he told me one had to bear with the long wait of some twelve years before the guru even acknowledges us as his student. Similarly only in 2016 on his last trip to Malaysia did he acknowledge me as a faithful student of his. It took him some eleven years to see my true worth, testing me along the way for my faithfulness to the path, adherence to instructions and practices given, and my perseverance, and patience. I guess I did pass his test as he passed on happy in 2018. 

Looking back now indeed it has been a long journey. Taking up the call to come to his path, Agathiyar must have seen some potential and Siddha material in us that he could work on and bring a transformation in us and eventually make us a Siddha too. But first he had to wipe the slate clean of the impressions of my past karma. He set me on a pilgrimage giving me remedies to carry out and satisfy the needs of the divine law in place that states we reap what we sow. He came to recommend ways to counter or cushion the effects of our past karma with minimum injury, suffering, misery, and ailment to us. He then threw all the sacred scriptures and books at us and asks that we follow the countless virtues and morals that are ascribed to them This helps dampen the force and velocity of the negative nature in us and propels the positive to greater heights, overshadowing the evil in us. This restraints or ethics of behavior, and observances, account for the first two limbs, Yama and Niyama, as listed in the eight limbs of Patanjali's Ashtanga Yoga. Meanwhile, he had me meet my very first guru in physical form at the end of my maiden pilgrimage to India to carry out the said remedies. He brought Supramania Swami into my life to show me guru bhakti and prepare me further and at the same time keep me from harm's way and under his shadow until Tavayogi came along. If my parents had taught me Sariyai where we live in the world of Siva worshiping at homes daily and occasionally at temples, that we held on for years, Supramania Swami ignited and lighted the lamp of devotion towards the guru, which was a new subject for someone who knew only worship to the deities.

After Tavayogi came into my life in 2005, Supramania Swami took leave passing me into his safe hands and gave me a jumpstart by passing me his forty years worth of merits gained from the tapas and austerities he did. Agathiyar waited three years to see if I followed his dictates before coming forth with my second Nadi reading as foretold.  The Nadi reading appeared at the exact moment Tavayogi Thangarasan of Kallar Ashram was in town. Agathiyar told me to take initiation from him. Another journey began of walking the path of the Siddhas, with Tavayogi literally taking me to the abodes and caves of the Siddhas in the jungles of India. Tavayogi then taught us physical postures, and control of the prana or breath the third and fourth limbs Asana, and Praṇayama of Patanjali's Yoga Sutra in 2007. This saw immediate release of energies within that would start bringing on an internal transformation in the years to come. Agathiyar mentions in my 26th Nadi Reading on 25.4.2008 that it was a treasure that Tavayogi had given us by way of teaching us these Asanas and Pranayama. 

When the Muladhara attained excessive heat due to the tapas and practices, in 2010, that brought on much pain and discomfort crippling me and immobilising me Agathiyar asks me to stop doing all forms of practices in 2011. The practice had unleased energies within. With the opening of the chakras and revitalizing them, the dosas in the body had aggravated and went off-balance. It was a period of partial hibernation for me with only puja and charity going on. In 2020 with the coming of the pandemic, it was a full lockdown both for the nation and me. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came to revive the Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi taught earlier and asked to worship the light within. They brought us to the fifth limb of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, Pratyahara or withdrawal of the senses and asking us go beyond, by going within, engaging further in the finer and subtle stages of Yoga namely Dharaṇa or concentration; and Dhyana or meditation. 

The journey traveling the path of Patanjali that is initially an external one working on the body, habits,  character, etc and a forward journey then takes us on a reverse path, or a return journey now moving inwards, from the body towards the soul.

Contrary to the common belief and understanding of renouncing the world as in leaving the home and all material comforts, BKS Iyengar terms true renunciation as where thoughts, perspectives, and understanding undergo a total transformation as we journey within. We still live in this world but see things differently. We are not perturbed by all that takes place knowing the world to be a stage and we as actors playing a role in it. We sit back and watch the movie that goes by on the widescreen of life. Patanjali shows the way to Samadhi or absorption, that of knowing and realizing the seed of consciousness. God resides within you in your heart. This is both the starting and ending point of the journey wrote Tavayogi in autographing my copy of his book "Andamum Pindamum" 

(ஆண்டவன் உரைகின்ற இடம் தங்கள் உள்ளம். அதுவே பயணத்தின் தொடக்கமும் முடிவும்.)

When the lower back pain that came on in 2010 arose again after eight years Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading told me that it came back so that I would go within. Except when the need arises to look into important chores I was to sit at home. Similarly, when a senior devotee fell at his home Agathiyar said that it was to have him sit at home. Recently another devotee strained his calf while playing football. Agathiyar tells him that it was to have him sit at home. Who can understand the workings of the Siddhas?

DIVINE GRACE

There are three things that determine the success of any venture. We need the blessings of those around us. We need to place effort, and finally, we need the grace of the divine. While our effort is the core of the venture the blessings of others would aid and facilitate and speed up the venture while the grace of the divine sees through the venture without any hitches. 

We need the grace of the divine to move forward in any venture and see results. Temples and pujas were ways and means to gain his grace. The tools and the methods were discovered and handed on to us by the Siddhas from time immemorial. But they have been forgotten, or sidelined over time. We would never know if what we are doing right now isn't tainted, corrupted, or diluted. Along the way, there is bound to be adulteration and add-ons, alterations, and manipulations. But at the core of it, it all ties down to and lies in love for God. 

A revival is in the midst I guess starting with our individual homes. Agathiyar wants us to take things into our own hands rather than be dependent on others for handouts. We can connect with them through Siddha puja. They then come to guide us directly instead of giving us the runaround. The gurus whom we seek shall give us their blessings to begin our spiritual journey. They equip us with the tools and the knowledge. 

One needs the grace of the divine to arrive at his shores. Nay one needs the grace of the divine even to lay sight on the land beyond the sea of human existence. Once we lay sight on the holy hill on the other shore, the yearning to reach the other bank shall set out signals to the Siddhas who shall come in multiple ways to him. He needs to pay attention and take heed of the signs though. The Siddhas facilitate his journey then. 

To attain his grace we need to yearn for his attention. Worship is a means to gain his attention. He then guides us on removing the past karma that stands in the way of a veil or curtain preventing us from receiving his grace light. Once the curtain is drawn aside, we are showered with his grace that knows no bounds. 

When his grace falls us on we begin to experience the divinity within us. The divine comes within us. 

Dr.C.Srinivasan in his "The Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami", Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi (1968) writes, about several experiences that one attains: achievement of the Divine Life (Uyiranubavam), the experience of the Grace Supreme (Arulanubavam), and experience and realization of God Supreme (Sivanubavam). He writes, "The soul has become divine through divine pursuit and dwells in the Grace of the Supreme God."

To arrive there we have to begin somewhere. Why not come to the Siddhas? The Siddha shall reveal the reasons for our sufferings bringing us to our past and goes through the catalog of our past records and files to identify the source and cause of it. It is basically going through a treatment where he goes within and identifies the root cause of the disease or illness. The Siddhas do not confront directly but work on its cause. Their methods if adopted will help soften and make the problems pliable and easy to handle rather than go face-on and meet the tough mountain. Surprisingly all the venues, tools, and methods were all laid down and in existence as if the Siddhas knew we shall fault and need them to work out our karma. How beautiful. Imagine if there was no solution and we had to go through life suffering all live long. The Siddhas give us hope by asking us to carry out penance, remedies, prayers, and atonements. The Dharmasastras list many types of penance: public confession, repentance, Pranayama, Tapas or austerity, Homa or fire sacrifice, Japaor prayers, Dhanam or charity, Fasting or Upavasam and Vritham, and pilgrimages or Tirtha Yatra.

Now let us take a self-test and find out where we stand based on Ramalinga Adigal's experience. He lists the various stages of spiritual experiences.  Dr. C. Srinivasan gives a bird's eye view.

1. The normal state of wakefulness or Jeevasakram, 
2. Normal dreaming or Jeevasorpanam, and 
3. Normal ignorance at sleep or Jeevasuzhuthi, where "human beings lead a mundane life, without even a thought of its transient nature. They are alert only for trivial things; they are cautious for the acquisition of wealth, gold or land, of women and wine, and of name and fame by indulgence in all means indiscriminate."
4. Perfect wakefulness or Suddhasakram is "the domain of the spiritualist. He is conscious of the real and the unreal and the transitory nature of the world. The worldly things are nothing to him.  He is really aware of the momentary nature of life and of the ever-existing supreme deity.  When this perfect wakefulness is saturated in him he is able to visualize the existence of the Lord Supreme." The Buddhist monks realized this state create grand mandalas only to destroy them later, a reminder of all things momentary and impermanent.
5. Perfect dream or Suddhasorpanam where "the aspirant of this experience will be in his dreamland of God and Godly things. He will be dreaming to see the lotus feet of the Lord and feeling an inseparable union with His feet in his untiring search for him."
6. Perfect and conscious ignorance or Suddhasuzhithi where "at this stage, the aspirant is not aware of anything except God."
7. Perfect experience or Suddhathuriam where "the soul is bound by the shackles of Purusha where lust and the veil which has been covering the soul hitherto for generations by the influence of the impure Asuddhamaya are shed one after another and the soul is gradually cleansed by the sparks emanating from the Supreme Light of Grace. The aspirant is overwhelmed by the melting mood and the spontaneous impulse of love for God." 
8. Higher wakefulness or Parasakram "paves the way for the sphere of heavenly experiences in the ladder of ascent in the pursuit of the Divine.  The mind and its four different aspects at this stage of supra-mental awareness are alert and conscious of only the Supreme God and His Grace.  At this moment the aspirant is not conscious of anything other than his Divine pursuit." I believe Supramania Swami in attaining this state "lost his mind" and began to be unaware of his present state and behaving oddly dishing out and turning sand into sacred ash and performing other gifts of Siddhis.  
9. Supra-mental dream or Parasorpanam, where "the aspirant feels ecstasy and enjoys the Grace of the Lord." 
10. Supramental unknowing or Parasuzhuti, where "the majority of the shackles are removed by the Grace of the Lord leading him to the next higher stage of ..
11. Supra-mental perfection or Parathuriyam, where he visualizes the sparks of the Divine Grace and experiences the tasting of God. The soul is charged with Divine Grace and it is conscious of nothing but the glory of the Supreme Grace.  God is so merciful as to remove the shackles of the aspirant in order to exhibit the real nature of His Sublime Grace. When the aspirant is able to visualize the inestimable magnitude of His Grace, he is naturally able to realize his smallness.  The Swami explains that whenever he is able to perceive of, he is conscious of the Divine and whenever he is unable to perceive of, he becomes one with the Divine extricating the egoistic self. Since the veil of the diabolic power which has so far concealed the virtual greatness of the soul, has begun to disintegrate, the soul is able to see for itself its own true color and luster. Now the soul besides being immersed in an unprecedented ecstatic delight realizes its own true nature. This is spoken of as self-realization." 
12. At the next stage of the Supreme dream or Sivasorpanam or Gurusorpanam, the aspirant dreams of the divine embrace if at all he poses to sleep. Sivasakram or Gurusakram and subsequent stages are "governed by the Grace of the Lord Supreme.  The possibility of enjoying these divine stages depends upon the extent of the descent of Grace in the soul." 
13. Supreme tranquillity or Sivasuluthi is where the soul is neither conscious of its own self nor ignorant of it.  Here the Supreme Grace flows into the body of the aspirant more and more and the enlightened body prepares itself for the next higher sublime stage of ..
14. Sivathuriam or Guruthuriam. The plane of experiences becomes transcendent. The Swami discloses that his body has by then been transformed into Pranavadeham or the body of Grace. The stages of experiences are divine.  At this stage, he could visualize the God Supreme fully and merge with the Supreme Grace Light.  The enjoyment of the Supreme Light is the experience of this stage. This effulgent stage is again very high. It is beyond the reach of most of the so-called great saints and seers.  The Swami himself points out that this stage was attained by a few great souls like Muthuthandavar, Thathuvarayar, and the like.  The irresistible bliss of this stage had engulfed the seers and they were perhaps, satisfied with the excessive happiness of this stage and even felt it to be the consummation of their goal. He feels diffident to express his feelings of ecstatic delight in this and still higher stages.  But their consecration was exceedingly high and they were permitted to enjoy the ultimate and eternal happiness of all the six divine paths such as Suddha Siddhanatham, Suddha Vedantham, Suddha Nadantham, Suddha Kalantham, and Suddha Bhodantham. It is only at this level the divine aspirant gets Samarasa Suddha Sanmargam, the divine objective of the Swami.  The realization of this gnostic stage permits the aspirant into the threshold of Sanmargam where alone the conquest of death is possible. The Swami has set forth the truth of experiencing the exuberant bliss at this stage of Sivathuriam as  Sanmargam. He has been benevolent enough to explain the splendor and glory of the extremely effulgent stages as the happy realization of this resplendent stage of Sivathuriam in which the aspirant has been transformed into a Godly being with concentrated Divine Grace, his body is known as Pranavadeham, the body of Grace - a stage in which the God Supreme has found a perfect place to dance or rather a body wherein the Supreme Grace has flowed.  At this stage, a complete union of the aspirant with the Supreme God in and out is fructified.  The Swami feels diffident to express the tremendous feeling of the ecstatic delight of this state. But he has given expression to this stage that it is the Supreme bliss throughout and the Supreme Lord harmoniously integrates with the aspirant. Only the chosen gifted souls enter into this realm of this really eternal bliss. Many could not reach this stage and hence have become stagnant then and there at different levels of attainments.  Many are lost in the Bliss.  However, a few being overpowered by the Bliss imbibing the Grace remain here itself.  Fewer still enjoying the Bliss more and more and being charged with saturated Supreme Grace evolve further and further."
15. Absolute Supreme Consciousness or Suddhasivasakram and the most celestial subsequent stages are Suddha Siva Sorpanam, Suddha Siva Suzhuthi, Suddha Siva Thuriam and Suddha Siva Thuriadeetham are extra-ordinarily supreme stages have been explained for the first time only by the Swami.  He has emphatically narrated the Supreme Bliss of his being in the kingdom of God Supreme. 

"There are thousands of verses yearning for the Grace to pervade in him.  The sanction is not as simple as it appears. It was perhaps miraculously easy for the Swami to be blessed with all these experiences.  Many souls of this world have attained this stage and only a few could ascend further.  Most of them were either overpowered by the extraordinary brilliance of the soul and mistook it for the brilliance of the Supreme Grace or were disappointed by their inability to proceed further.  At this stage, the aspirant is able to perceive the Supreme Grace in the form of light.  The descent of divinity in the individual is gradually profuse."  

"There are three forms of Supreme Light that will beneficially act upon the human body of the purified soul for the infusion of Grace.  The tremendous power of the Sun is offered to fill in through the eyes of the enabling aspirant to do all wonders at will. The Supreme Light of Grace dawns in the sanctified intellect of the aspirant empowering him to disseminate the soothing principles of Grace. The illumination of a higher power called Parai is disbursed in the mind of the aspirant enriching him to gain supremacy in the domain of the Supreme Grace. These three different kinds of rays supply the necessary energy for divine photosynthesis in alchemizing the fundamental elements of the human frame in which the perfected soul is enshrined." 

"The soul is saturated with compassion and the body appears to be an incarnation of immeasurable love for the living - not to speak of human beings.  

• This transcendent body of the aspirant is supposed to experience real divine life Uiranubavam and it is called Suddhadeham purified body or golden body or body of love.  It may be clearly understood that the experience of divine life in the purified body is known as Uiranubavam. This experience is realized in the highly elevated sphere of the soul at this esteemed stage, in the supernatural purified body.  The achievements of the soul at this stage are many.  The foremost is the transformation of the impure body, into a pure body.  The experience of the soul in this body makes the aspirant love incarnate.  In other words, the aspirant visualizes the universality of love in all fellow beings.  He realizes the oneness of life in all living organisms; he is able to see a fraction of Divinity in all live creatures in the form of a spark of light, that is life in them. A little harm done to any living organism of the universe wounds him very much.  He is pained to see even the withering of a plant for want of water.  As by now, all his senses are capable of perceiving everything regardless of space and time he is worried all the more.  Since he is realizing his own self, he becomes eligible to visualize his smallness and the greatness of the Lord Supreme.  Unless one sees within himself his true nature, he cannot - nay - will not understand the reality and greatness of the omnipotent and omnipresent God.  As he has by now conquered all the elements and their influences, his own mind, space, time, and the like, he is above all the tattvas and sees the reality of his soul. The more he realizes his smallness the more he sees the greatness of God in him as a result of which he is delighted.  The aspirant is able to feel the inestimable love of God, the spontaneous flow of Grace for him, if only he prepares the ground for Him to descend.  The love of the individual for God and the manifestation of God in all living things is automatically reciprocated and sublimated as the Supreme Grace of Mercy, as God Himself is absolute love. In fact, the Swami goes a step further to point out that it is only the love of God that has alchemized his body and brought him all bliss and eternal happiness.  Love of God is not only the means for the realization of God but is an end in itself as God is love.  Above all, at this stage, the aspirant is able to see with his own eyes the Lord Supreme in such a form that he has become eligible to receive and bear.  The brilliance of the Lord is so inexplicably intense and powerful that the aspirant should have made his body and senses so perfect as to receive Him.  Unless there is such a divine perfection of the individual there cannot be the seeing or descent of God in him.  The argument is very simple for those who wish to see God.  Unless one has seen one’s self one can never see God and unless one has become perfect in everything one is ineligible even to bear the presence of God.  What will happen to the sensual body and the vicious eye even before an incandescent arc lamp of several million watts of power?  To move at such a tremendous speed in a sputnik, man has to put on protective armor lest he should be blown to pieces.  In the words of Swami, the brightness of God Supreme is measured in terms of several million times and more than the brilliance of the sun, the moon, and the universal fire put together. We are concerned with the experiences of the Swami at this level and he says that he was tempted to embrace the Supreme God. The external embrace is possible only at this stage."

"In subsequent higher stages, we transcend and enter into ecstatic delight. These stages are beyond human perception as we are attempting to conceive the inconceivable, realize the unrealizable, and apprehend the inapprehensible.  The aspirant is already endowed with such a purified mind and body that the Grace of the Lord Supreme is incessantly filling in his mortal frame.  He, therefore, with infusing power and cosmic strength is able not only to visualize but pierce through his onward march to and into the Supreme God and Godhood."

"Still higher stages are heavenly. Here the mind fails to conceive and all the senses cease to function. Austerity and penance of the highest order are needed for the ascent of the soul not only to get at the descent of the Divine Grace but for its accumulation further and further in the gnostic pursuit", writes Sreenivasan of the journey ahead and beyond. 

Ramalinga Adigal "says that he has tasted the bliss of all the sixteen stages contemplated by the Vedas by the permutation and combination of the four paths such as Devotion, Action, Meditation, and Wisdom one after another, and attained higher and truer perfection with the aid of the Supreme Grace, besides the ultimate goal of all the six heavenly avenues such as Vedantham, Siddhantham and so on, (Suddha Siddhanatham, Suddha Vedantham, Suddha Nadantham, Suddha Kalantham, and Suddha Bhodantham) leading to Divinity.  He has further given an exposition of his admittance into Sanmargam by the bounteous and boundless descent of the auspicious Supreme Being in him which has resulted in his immortality. He has specifically defined and repeatedly sworn that his path is Sanmargam in which the aspirant becomes immortal."

Where do I stand, I ask myself? Way down below like a tiny speck of dust. It seems like a very long journey and much of it does not make sense since we have not arrived at these stages. Only experience can tell. 

PROVIDING A SAFE JOURNEY

When Lord Murugan and Agathiyar came yesterday, my wife posed the question as to why many fall victim to false gurus, masters, and teachers who dish out initiations freely and to a large crowd where some find themselves suffering and in pain later. Agathiyar replied that it was fated. They have to fall a victim and learn from these painful experiences. In another earlier discourse with Agathiyar, he addressed the issue of mass initiation reminding us not to go for it. The Siddhas always initiate in private he said. 

பொது சபையில் ஏற்படும் எதுவும் ஏற்க வேண்டாம். சித்தன் வழங்குவது என்றால் தனித்து தான் வழங்குவான். உடல் நிலையை பார்த்து, மண நிலையை பார்த்து, சுவாச இயக்கத்தை பார்த்து வழங்குவான்.

There are things that we desire to carry out be it in the material or spiritual field. Then there are those things that the divine desires for us. Looking around and scouting for an initiation gets us into trouble. Agathiyar and Bhogar question us if the master who was dishing out these mass initiation takes into regard three important matters, that if not in top form could harm us, before initiating one: our physical state, the state of our mind, and the flow of the breath. 

As I write this post it suddenly dawns on me the reason for having to retake the initiation that night in 2005. I had gone to Tavayogi on my own accord after reading an advert in the Tamil daily that caught my attention for several days on. The name Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal rang a bell in me. A leaflet that the Nadi reader Senthilkumar of Avinasi had passed on to me some three years back then and that I kept with me carried the name Thaiveedu Thangarasan M.A. He was sourcing funds to build a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar. I took the leaflet with me to verify if it was him when he visited Malaysia in 2005 to officiate a local affiliate of his. It turned out to be him. When I told him that Agathiyar had asked me to come to the worship of Siddhas, he told me that I had come to the right place and I shall learn much from his local affiliate. While Tavayogi wanted to initiate me that midmorning, the organizers informed him that they had arranged for several others to be initiated later that night and that I and my wife could join them. We attended the mass initiation. Yesterday when Agathiyar came and spoke, I realized that this initiation did not carry any weight as it was an organized affair and not one that the Siddhas initiated. 

When I mentioned to him that Agathiyar had asked me to come back for a reading after three years and that time had come, I was shown to T.Ramesh. Agathiyar had me get initiated again that baffled both Tavayogi and me. This time he was alone as I headed to the center where he lodged immediately after the reading as directed by Agathiyar. It was done in private, one-to-one. Though Agathiyar had told me later that he had sent Tavayogi to me the moment of initiation has to be determined by the divine. In telling us that they shall not initiate us in public, Agathiyar reveals the reason he had me go back to Tavayogi to retake the initiation that fateful night. 

பொதுவில் நாங்கள் எதுவும் வழங்க மாட்டோம். அதற்காக தான் இந்த பாலகனை மறுபடியும் அனுப்பிவைத்தோம். தீக்சை ரகசியமாக நடக்க வேண்டியது.

My fate changed that fateful night. My destiny was rewritten. The reading was mysteriously erased after I listened and followed and went back to Tavayogi the night of the reading for that mysterious and puzzling initiation. I was called for another reading, my third that rewrote my destiny. There was no mention of the local Peedham but instead, Agathiyar directed me to spend several days with Tavayogi and him in the former's ashram in Kallar after his return. A wonderful relationship blossomed that day as I was redirected to come directly under the tutorship of Tavayogi. 

This explains why I failed to receive the blessings of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar when I included his Kudil in my itinerary in 2003 after it was suggested by his devotees in his local affiliate in Dengkil. I had gone on my own accord. It was only in 2008 that Agathiyar after explaining the state of the guru in three consecutive readings asked me to go and receive his blessings. I did not go as I had settled for Tavayogi then. 

This also explains why the Nadi reader Senthilkumar and I failed to pick out and establish any Nadi as mine on our first sitting even after going through three whole bundles. When we came together some two weeks later my details appeared precisely in the very first bundle itself and in the first few leaves that he turned over. 

Turning to me last evening Agathiyar said that the reason he sent me to Supramania Swami before I met Tavayogi was to keep me safe and under his custody till Tavayogi came along. When Tavayogi came along, Swami passed me on to him. Now I understand why he sent me off to see Tavayogi the day after I arrived at his Kudil in Tiruvannamalai on my second visit to India in 2005. I shared my Nadi reading of Agathiyar mentioning that Tavayogi was my guru too. Though Supramania Swami was my guru too he had no reservations about sending me off to see him. Upon my return from Kallar Supramania Swami surprised me further by asking how Tavayogi was doing. I have yet to see gurus of the nature of Supramania Swami and Tavayogi who are humble to the core. 

In continuing to brief us about the false, Agathiyar pointed out to us that one would not know light if there was no darkness. Similarly one would come to know the true path and a true guru only if he has the experience of living under a false one. In an earlier assembly, Agathiyar pointed out that we needed experiences to gain clarity. They shall give us these much-needed experiences. 

நாம் தெளிவு அடைய அனுபவங்களை சித்தர்களே வழங்குவார்கள். அப்போதுதான் தெளிவு பெறுவீர்கள்.

In reviewing my past karma in my first Nadi reading, Agathiyar told me that I had messed up my past lives. But as I shed tears and could not accept and come to terms with it, he consoled me that they were experiences that were much needed for my evolvement and that he had staged them. He asked that I forgive myself first.

Indeed when I recall now it all makes sense. In my burning desire that started in 1980, to get to the bottom of many things that was misquoted, the many misbeliefs, superstitions, and sheer nonsense that existed in the tradition and custom, I read and read but only became more confused. I wanted to make sense of all the practices and rituals carried out but it led me nowhere. Satsang with my seniors too led me nowhere. As I watched helplessly the sufferings of those close to me, I began to question the deities and the unfair acts and justice that they meted out to their own children and devotees. When their very devotees suffered in their hands it irked me further. Standing on the brink of lunacy, that is when Lord Siva came in a dream and asks me to cool off. The divine saved me through that dream in 1988. I did take a long break. The ice was broken after some seven years when I was intrigued to know further about gurus and masters after receiving Yogananda Paramahansa's book, "Autobiography of A Yogi" from a colleague who resigned from his job to become a monk at Yogananda's Ranchi ashram in 1994. After receiving this treasure that changed my course of life, my attention turned to reading about the gurus and spiritualism. I was recalled into temple worship when my wife carried our second child in 1998. The Vasudeva mantra was passed on to me by my nephew through his guru's lineage that I came to know later was from Agathiyar. Agathiyar had come to reclaim me that hot Saturday afternoon in 2001. A year later I read the Nadi. The following year in 2003, I met Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai when I made my rounds doing my remedies given by Agathiyar in the Nadi reading. 

I believe now after what Agathiyar had revealed yesterday that in my eagerness to know about the worship of the Siddhas that Agathiyar had asked me to undertake, fearing that I might fall for some false guru and their teachings he had me come under the custody of Supramania Swami. He kept me safe till I was passed on to Tavayogi. Supramania Swami passed away a year later after I met Tavayogi on our shores. I guess I was spared the suffering, probable financial losses, loss of sleep, and complications to health as many others had to go through to learn a lesson. Though the spiritual path too is known to be full of thorns Agathiyar safely guided us through the thorns. 

Neale Donald Walsch tells of a beautiful tale in his "The Little Soul and the Sun" that is very much in line with what Agathiyar told us last evening. A Little Soul though it knows that it is Light wanted the experience. 

Then God said, "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness." He continued, "in order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear" and he went on to explain the opposites of things. Giving him a list of ways he could be special and having the Little Soul add on to it, God tells the Soul "Let your Light so shine that everyone will know how special you are", and went on to ask, "What part of special do you want to be?" 

The Little Soul opts for the part to be forgiving, saying it wants to experience it for itself. God grants the Little Soul's wish. A Friendly Soul then steps in to help the Little Soul realize the experience. When asked why it volunteered the Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul "Don't you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and me many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have danced. Across all the time and in many places have we played together. You just don't remember. We have both been through all of it. We have been the male and female, the good and the bad, we have both been the victim and the villain of it. Thus we have come together, you and me many times before, each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to express and experience who we really are. I will come into your next lifetime and be the bad one this time. I will do something really terrible and then you can experience yourself as the one who forgives." 

The Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul that in having to do that unkind thing it would have to slow down its vibration and become very heavy. Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", the Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, draws two distinct divisions to people and their brains. 

"The coarser vibrations of the lower world and those adapted to it are one. The others are those who are in the front of evolution and of a subtler nature. The more highly evolved brain that is sensitive and readily responsive to subtle vibrations is that of the spiritual genius - spiritual, artistic, and literary. Then the normal brain under undue stress and emotion becoming sensitive and tense is the brain of the religious mystic and seer."

"While the former is careless of ordinary affairs, the latter with its "intense desire to reach a higher life overstrains the nerves hence rendering it sensitive to answer vibrations from the subtler planes of being. Then visions and abnormal happenings will occur. The superphysical consciousness finds at least for a brief moment a vehicle sufficiently sensitive to receive and answer to its impulses. The neuropathic brain affords the conditions necessary for the vision that belongs to the superphysical world, to impress itself on the physical consciousness." I guess I currently fit into this category. Annie Besant cautions us though that "We are dealing with vehicles in the ordinary stage of evolution, unfit for subtle vibrations." The medium could place himself in danger. The unfit brain, in straining itself to answer to the higher could go cuckoo."

Just as all the bookish knowledge that I gobbled up ferociously almost led me to turn cuckoo some 43 years back before Lord Siva told me to take a break, Lord Muruga too cautioned me in a Nadi reading on 9 October 2018 and had me pull the brakes just as Annie Besant cautions.

அன்னவனும் என்னுடைய சக்தியை ஆக்கைக்குள் சதா இறக்கி கொள்வதாலே அன்னதுவால் அவன் தேகம் நடங்குதப்பா. அதனாலே நாடி நரம்பு எலும்பெல்லாம் பழுதாகக் கண்டு, உறைக்க அதற்கு ஏற்ற உணவு சவரத்னை இல்லை அதனால் தான்  அவனுக்கு இக்குறைக்கான செப்புவதால் அன்னவனும் சமநிலை ஆக வேண்டும். சிறப்பாகச் சக்தியை இறக்கி கொல்லாதே. அன்னதுவால் அவன் தனக்கு தேக சோர்வு காட்டும். அடுத்தடுத்து அவனுக்குச் சிக்கல் உருவாகும்.  செப்புகிறேன் எங்களின் அருள் பலத்தால் சிறப்பான ஞான நிலை அடைவானென வாக்குப் படி சில காலம் இருக்க வேண்டும். வா என்று மரணத்தை அழைக்க வேண்டாம். மிக்கதொரு அமைதியாய் அகம் அடக்கி மைந்தனவன் தியான வழி சிந்தை கொள்ள அவன் தனக்கு சக்தி பெருகும்.

 

Annie Besant cautions those who want to engage in Yoga with an impure diet and body.

"You must begin to purify the body before you attempt to practice any yoga worthy of the name. For real yoga is as dangerous to an impure and undisciplined body as a match to a cask of gunpowder." She asks us to look towards the East for answers to "how this danger has been understood and guarded against and avoided." "The self gathers around it upadhi upon upadhi, vehicle after vehicle, gradually shaping its own instruments." Annie Besant explains that "The brain has to be changed, refined, improved, its connecting links fashioned and manufactured for the purposes of the expression of the higher consciousness." 

"Here, in the jungle, they meditated making the brain tense and refined by the concentration of the mind, and restraint of lower faculties, fixed in rapt attention on the higher, with the consciousness working from above playing on the physical brain and tuning it to respond safely to the higher vibrations. Then it strove to draw the lower upwards (as Tavayogi says of our efforts that are only till the first two initial stages, Muladhara and Svadisthana, and that the Siddhas will draw us upwards) until it answered no longer to the stimuli of the outer world. This is a state of yoga - complete withdrawal of consciousness from the Indriyas. Now making the mind steady, holding quiet the powers of the mind, the mind ceases to vibrate, and it becomes still - able to answer the vibrations coming from above." 

This is the reason the Siddhas have us engage in Sariyai and Kriyai to earn their blessings before engaging further in Yoga which itself has eight limbs or angam. This is how from an impure body or Asudha degam, one moves to become pure or Sudha degam. Soon the vibration in him becomes subtler in nature as he takes on the other forms, the Pranava degam, Gnana degam, and Oli degam. 

INTERNAL PUJA

I used to stand outside my home at night and look at the stars and the moon. I always admired the moon and its luminance in the night sky. As a child I would lay my head on my mother's lap as the whole family would gather on the verandah of our home in Taiping after dinner, looking at the moon and talking about almost everything under the sun or rather under the moon, while the radio would blast away. Not that we were at a loss of hearing but that the volume control knob on our Sharp transistor radio had broken. It was fine to have the radio blasting during the day but at night I would stuff a pillow on its face (the speaker) to quieten it down. Sadly nobody looks at the moon these days. We are glued either to cable television or the internet.

Marianne Williamson in the opening paragraph of her piece, "Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness", from the book "The Shadow Effect", HarperOne, 2010, brings back our attention to everyday things that are in fact amazing and beautiful but hardly noticed by us these days.

"In a world so filled with tender magic - from sleeping infants to children playing, to lovers smiling, to friendship that last, to flowers blooming, to the violet hope of sunrise, to the fiery magnificence of the sunset, to the brilliance of the body, to the fragile glories of nature, to the wonder of animals, to our capacity to forgive, to the mercy of God, to the kindness of strangers, and a list that could go on and on until its clear that there really is no end to the manifold expression of love on earth."

A child is the perfect example of cheer and joy for he or she has not been tainted by the by-products of man. Sooner or later he or she will lose his/ her innocence having taken in all the world's activities as a sponge would.

Marianne Williamson says we are a tool placed on the face of this earth to help transform it through our higher thought forms, lifting the frequency of the planet. Agathiyar in his five tenets to mankind says the same too. The great saints of days gone by have all regarded human birth as rare and that which can be transformed into the essence of Erai. Besides bringing transformation in us, we can also transform the earth either into paradise or into a dungeon. The choice is in our hands.

If the fruits and vegetables and water we drink, the sunlight we receive, the music we listen to, or the pleasures we derive from touch, are consumed and used by us, the air that we breathe is the only element given out and back to our surroundings. It is the only common factor that connects all of creation. We are connected through the breath and the Prana that hitches a ride on it. If we would not want to share the former elements with others we have no choice but to inhale what is given out by others and exhale it back to others to take it in. The breath leaves our body as we expel it merging with the surrounding air and is taken in by another person or an animal besides us. This exchange of gases connects us to one another. Sadly this is how we share airborne diseases among us too. Hence we realize the reason to carry out Yagam or Homam is to give back to the Prapanjam and heal it with the energized mantras that accompany these rituals something that Lord Shiva asks us to do at the peak of the pandemic and which Prapanjam herself came to ask us to prevent a second bout of the dreaded virus from making its rounds. Here fire is the element that rides on the wind and air to reach the space around us and within our lungs.

If we had gathered together on occasions or conducted home puja solo on other days by lighting oil lamps and singing the praise of the Siddhas since 2002, puja these days is done within. All senses that were focused externally in external puja are diverted within. For instance, this morning as dawn broke the skies, to please the hunger pangs in the furnace within, I made myself something to break my night-long fast. Tasting the crispness of the bread toast, accompanied by a hot cup of coffee and listening to the Siva mantras played while watching the sky light up as morning broke and the sun took a peek just moments ago was itself puja. It caused a whole wave of vibrations to pass through the entire body. This vibration has not subsided as I type these words on my keyboard. 

Know that puja has become internal when you stop in the midst of singing the praise of God. This is the start. You just cannot go further as tears well up in your eyes and your lips part to cry out in silence, as your heart yearns for the beloved divinity that is kept veiled. 

நினைந்துநினைந் துணர்ந்துணர்ந்து நெகிழ்ந்துநெகிழ்ந் தன்பே

நிறைந்துநிறைந் தூற்றெழுங்கண்ணீரதனால் உடம்பு

நனைந்துநனைந் தருளமுதே நன்னிதியே ஞான

நடத்தரசே என்னுரிமை நாயகனே என்று

வனைந்துவனைந் தேத்துதும்நாம் வம்மின்உல கியலீர்

மரணமிலாப் பெருவாழ்வில் வாழ்ந்திடலாம் கண்டீர்

புனைந்துரையேன் பொய்புகலேன் சத்தியஞ்சொல் கின்றேன்

பொற்சபையில் சிற்சபையில் புகுந்தருணம் இதுவே.

PS Maniam in his "Siddhar Nerigalum Siddhi Muraigalum", published by Vijaya Pathipagam, Coimbatore, writes, that thinking about the immense compassion of the Lord, become immersed in the vibration that comes on. This bout of energy will knock on the doors to the abode of the Atma and bring forth its darshan. The love for the divine shall bring on his grace that in turn brings on his state of effulgence and bliss. 

"இறைவனின் பெருங்கருணையை நினைந்து நினைந்து இறை உணர்வில் அழுந்தி நிற்கவேண்டும். அப்படி இருக்க இறையுணர்வு ஆன்மாவில் அழுந்தி இறைக் காட்சியாகவே தோன்றும். இறை அன்பு ஆன்மாவில் பதியப் பதிய அன்பு முற்றி அருள்நிலை யெய்தி என்பும் கசிந்துருகும்."

If the journey begins with devotion that melts the heart, it ends with a similar melting of Udal, Uyir and Atma. Ramalinga Adigal sings in his Agaval,

725. தோலெலாங் குழைந்திடச் சூழ்நரம் பனைத்தும்

மேலெலாங் கட்டவை விட்டுவிட் டியங்கிட

726. என்பெலா நெக்குநெக் கியலிடை நெகிழ்ந்திட

மென்புடைத் தசையெலா மெய்யுறத் தளர்ந்திட

727. இரத்த மனைத்துமுள் ளிறுகிடச் சுக்கிலம்

உரத்திடை பந்தித் தொருதிர ளாயிட

728. மடலெலா மூளை மலர்ந்திட வமுதம்

உடலெலா மூற்றெடுத் தோடி நிரம்பிட

729. ஒண்ணுதல் வியர்த்திட வொளிமுக மலர்ந்திட

தண்ணிய வுயிர்ப்பினிற் சாந்தந் ததும்பிட

730. உண்ணகை தோற்றிட வுரோமம் பொடித்திடக்

கண்ணினீர் பெருகிக் கால்வழிந் தோடிட

731. வாய்துடித் தலறிட வளர்செவித் துணைகளிற்

கூயிசைப் பொறியெலாங் கும்மெனக் கொட்டிட

732. மெய்யெலாங் குளிர்ந்திட மென்மார் பசைந்திடக்

கையெலாங் குவிந்திடக் காலெலாஞ் சுலவிட

733. மனங்கனிந் துருகிட மதிநிறைந் தொளிர்ந்திட

இனம்பெறு சித்த மியைந்து களித்திட

734. அகங்கார மாங்காங் கதிகரிப் பமைந்திடச்

சகங்காண வுள்ளந் தழைத்து மலர்ந்திட

735. அறிவுரு வனைத்து மானந்த மாயிடப்

பொறியுறு மான்மதற் போதமும் போயிடத்

736. தத்துவ மனைத்துந் தாமொருங் கொழிந்திடச்

சத்துவ மொன்றே தனித்துநின் றோங்கிட

737. உலகெலாம் விடய முளவெலா மறைந்திட

அலகிலா வருளி னாசைமேற் பொங்கிட

738. என்னுளத் தெழுந்துயி ரெல்லா மலர்ந்திட

என்னுளத் தோங்கிய என்றனி யன்பே

We have a wonderful translation of the above verses made available at http://www.ramalinga.com (now defunct)

"Describing in an exquisite way the phases of the transformation of his body, Ramalinga says that the dermis and epidermis have become extremely soft; all the nerves, muscles, and tendons have slackened little by little; the bones, membranes, and cartilages have become very flexible; the blood has coagulated; the semen has concentrated being solidified; the brain and all its parts have been opened like a bud. All over the body, an Elixir flows; the face glistens; the respiration is smooth and refreshing; from the tear glands abundant tears sprout; the mouth is half-opened tremulous and the ears are filled with sweet melodies. The entire body is refreshed and all its visible parts flourish in ecstasy. The heart swells palpitating Love. The ego vanishes, as the emotional and mental defects. A tender, loving, and compassionate quietude dominates the entire organism. The ardent desire to receive divine Grace overflows. The Supreme Love fills the body, which is the temple of the divine Life."

The Siddha way or Neri is one of direct transmission, through touch, look, or technique leading to direct discipleship or குரு சீடனுக்கு தொட்டுக் காட்டும் நெறி. Experience tells us that this is true indeed. It's not an easy task for the Siddha though. In going within Agathiyar says we will experience new frontiers and these experiences will vary from person to person. The result of this internal journey is true Gnana, he adds.

It is only during the holy matrimony that the veil is dropped and we see the face of our beloved God. Supramania Swami told me once about the need to light a flame or light at my home. The reason being that he shall watch me through it. Once when I was with him he was devastated when he found that the flame had gone out. He told me it never died down all this while. Karuppa a deity in our spectrum of Gods who had come in a cousin of my friend asked him to bring him to a temple pointing to the light there. Once there his energy left his cousin. His energy had occupied my friend's cousin's body momentarily to return home. When Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came they had us kindle the flame in the oil lamp to burn much brighter. Later Ramalinga Adigal comes to ask us to kindle the flame within to burn with such intensity that it shall draw aside the veil or curtain that stands between us and Erai, reminding us of Tirumular's song.

மனத்து விளக்கினை மாண்பட ஏற்றிச்

சினத்து விளக்கினை செல்ல எருக்கி

அனைத்து விளக்குந் திரியொக்க தூண்ட

மனத்து விளக்கது மாயா விளக்கே

S.Janarthan in his "Dhyana Yogam", published by Aruligu Amman Pathipagam, Chennai gives a gist of this song, "Lighting the Light on the topmost platform of Agnai, and subsequently kindling the other lights to burn with a similar intensity."

மேல் மாடமென்ற ஆக்ஞா ஸ்தானத்தில் ஒளி ஏற்றி, பிறகு கீழ் நிலையில் உள்ள மற்ற விளக்குகளும் அணைந்து போகாதபடி எல்லாவற்றிலும் திரியை ஒருசேர தூண்டிவைத்தல்.

This is represented graphically by Tavayogi in installing the Aaru Aadhara Peedham, a six-tiered granite structure at his Kallar ashram. Later the Siddhas told us to use the breath to fan the inner flame or Jothi that we all carried. If Tavayogi showed us the Vaasi Payarchi or breathing exercises that amounted to a tremendous increase in the Prana within us, Ramalinga Adigal taught us to raise our hands and connect with the Prapanjam bringing the might of the Prana to do wonders. Ramalinga Adigal describes these moments as follows in a song that he composed of the cuff when he came the very first time.

என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது....

என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது....

திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....

என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...

சீர்ஜோதி அது பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது

என்னுள் அது ஏறும் போது திரை அது விலகியது...

என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...

திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

Ramalinga Adigal comes to compose and sing the following that further explains the means to this blissful union. Ramalinga Adigal sings in his The Thiru Unthiyar (திரு உந்தியார்), Kaliththaazisai (கலித்தாழிசை), that at the break of dawn, it dawned on him that his puja bore fruition. The veil dropped, the light shone, and Parai Oli came within, bringing fruition to his puja. 

திரையற்று விட்டது செஞ்சுடர் தோன்றிற்று

பரைஒளி ஓங்கிற்றென்று உந்தீபற

பலித்தது பூசையென்று உந்தீபற.

THE RACE

When we are young, we carry so many ambitions and get caught up in the rat race trying to amass much wealth at the expanse of our health. 

Tomas Laurinavicius shares the story of "The Mexican Fisherman and the American Investment Banker" in his blog at https://tomaslau.com/blog/everything-is-relative. 

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “only a little while.”

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed. “I have an MBA from Harvard, and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle-man, you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening up your own cannery. You could control the product, processing, and distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?” To which the American replied, “Oh, 15 to 20 years or so.”

“But what then?” asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time was right, you would announce an IPO, and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”

That was what the Mexican fisherman was currently doing! So why go through the rat race to arrive at the same spot we already are in today? 

Similarly, is it with the search for Siddhi and Mukthi or Salvation and Liberation. We go on a "God" hunt as in a manhunt looking for him in the pages of the spiritual texts and books, in the temples, in his abodes and samadhis, in the wild and in nature only to eventually find him residing within us. A head of a movement aligned with Agathiyar boasted that he had been to India some thirty-seven times back then when I patronized his venue to learn about worship to the Siddhas. He has just returned from another trip. I was too naive then to question him back. If he were to say the same now, I would have told him that it was surprising that he had not found God yet given the number of times he had been looking for him. Agathiyar in calling me to India following in the shadows of Tavayogi who returned after his visit to Malaysia in 2005, showed himself in several places as he had promised in the Nadi, and those that he added on surprised me. 

Lord Nadarajah's chamber at Egambeshwarar temple in Kanchipuram; Uttamar temple in the outskirts of Trichy;  at Thiruvanaikaval temple in Trichy; at Sri Rangam temple in Trichy; the Uchipilaiyar temple in Trichy; at Thiruavinankudi and Palani temple; at Brahmapureeswarar temple in Thirupattur; the Adhi Kumbeswarar at Kumbakonam; the Arulmigu Sri Mayuranathaswami Temple, Mayiladuthurai (Mayavaram); the Arulmigu Koraka Siddhar Jeeva Samadhi Peedham, in Vadakku Poigai Nalloor; the Arulmigu Kasi Vishwanathar Temple, in Thirupattoor; the Arulmigu Swaminatha Swamy Temple in Swamimalai; the Arulmigu Subramania Swamy Temple at Ettugudi; at Tanjai Periya Kovil in Tanjavoor; the Arulmigu Meenakshi Sundareshwarar Temple in Madurai; at Pazhamudircholai Murugan Temple in Madurai; at the Sri Konganar Siddhar Thirukoil in Pon Uthiyur Maalai, Uthiyur; and the Natadreeswarar Temple in Erode were some of the places where magic was created and shown.

And I was only a novice and an apprentice then who had only been to India once before. To date, I have only been to India four times. The first in 2003 was to carry out my remedies stated in my Nadi reading. The second was in 2005 after meeting Tavayogi in Malaysia, he invited me to his ashram. Agathiyar too directed me to stay a few days at his ashram in a subsequent Nadi reading. The third was in 2013 when word went around that Tavayogi was not well. Agathiyar too instructed me to visit him in the Nadi. I left with my family. The final trip was in 2016 to participate in the grand opening of Tavayogi's new Kallar ashram. I left with the AVM family. People asks me seeing many make their way overseas if I was not going since we are free to fly now. Many friends have asked if I was coming over to India. Somehow the excitement in traveling has dwindled down. I prefer to be alone with my thoughts or rather his.  

Showing me miracles and proof of his existence in India, he began to show them on our shores too upon my return just as he had promised in the Nadi. As our home puja intensified, soon the Siddhas and the Gods from heaven came down into our humble homes. We could feel their energies first at home and during prayers. Later we felt the same in the temples and sacred places we visited. We could connect with them. And puja was the medium or key or bridge that linked both our worlds. Puja to the Siddhas was the stepping stone to many other wonders on the path. 

The magical moments continued back on our shores too. These spontaneous and unintentional cries become quite a regular affair in the places of worship that I visited. I knew then that it was not me but overpowering of these energies that came within at these powerhouses. My body had become receptive to these energies with the years of worship put in. The Sri Jeganathar Sivalayam in Tapah; the Siva Subramaniam Alayam, Kampung Kepayang; the Nattukkottai Chettiar Temple, Penang; and the Sri Mayuranathar Srimath Pamban Swamigal temple, Dengkil were some places where I got connected with these energies. 

Then the highlight and pinnacle or grand finale of all these shows of energy and its corresponding vibrations happened in the silent inner caves of the Sri Siva Shanmugar Temple in Sungai Siput. When the priest or Gurukul who had taken us on a tour of the cave stopped at a spot and revealed to me and my family that that was the spot where our Paramaguru Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated for years, I went into a dance and spin, lost my balance and fell on my back in a depression in the ground, missing the boulders by inches. I was laughing as a mad man and calling out the names of the divine. These were spontaneous and not an act put on. I would definately not fall on my own especially into that pit in the midst of boulders. I would have picked a safe spot to fall instead. But I knew that that experience was given by my Paramaguru Chitramuthu Adigal that day. This was the only instance caught on video. One would wonder why no one came to my assistance as I lay in the dark pit. No one came to check me out if I was injured or otherwise. I would understand if my wife and daughter, who was manning the camera, do not step forward, for they have been told on the onset of this divine play in our home and temples not to interfere unless I call or asks for help. I was surprised that the priests and his aid too kept watching without moving a limb. Unless they were the Lord themselves for that particular moment. It was only when I raised my hands to get up that my wife came running to assist. 

The divine began to attend our puja sessions often showing themselves and participating or rather hijacking the moment to do their dance and pay homage to Agathiyar who presided at these pujas. The had told me to give them space and leeway to carry out their play many times. We would back away and give them space and a moment of our time. They would dance in joy telling us that they were pleased with the puja. The latest was Lord Shiva dancing his heart out and holding our hands during the recent Sivarathri puja. Worship indeed could bring divinity down from their abodes. 

When you are sixty it's another race this time against time to complete what we came for provided we know the reason for our existence. Otherwise, we would just while away time and this precious birth. Knowing our purpose here requires us to be healthy to see through the tasks given. We need to care for the body, mind and soul. If initially I had to take herbal preparations like Agathiyar Kuzhambu that is instrumental in expelling excess of the three Dosas, Vata, Kapha and Pitta in purgation therapy and later all three was expelled on its own at exactly the hours of the day when they are prominent, it all sort of came to settle down now. Visiting Siddha practitioner and head of a Peedham Thiru Arivananthan recently he gave me a clean bill of health. The past three days diluted mucus and phlegm is expelled from the nose and throat just as water runs off the tap. Phlegm is said to be the reason most healthy men and women die. It comes up during the last moments of one's life and blocks the airways suffocating us. The swirling sensation is still there in the crown of my head too.

THE JOURNEY OF A SOUL

It is said that the Gods ruled and walked the earth in the distant past. Then man looked towards the skies and prayed in the way past. Our ancestors later built temples to house the Gods and Goddesses. They brought them down to the ground for us to spend some time in prayer and worship. Later they brought them into our homes and worshipped them at their altars. Man was never detached from these Gods and Goddesses since time immemorial. This was because there was a part of the divine in us just as we carry the DNA of our parents. 

We are a composite of the Pindam or Udal or body, Vaasi or Uyir or breath, and the Atma or Soul. The physical body is a vehicle for the breath and soul. The Atma or soul is pure to its essence. It is one with the Param. But like all things it gets tainted too. It is the Tattvas that give form to it. With the first inhalation Life or Uyir comes within the Body or Pindam, giving it a voice. It tends to veil it further. Now known as the Jeevatma (Jeeva Atma) or Spirit it believes it is a separate entity from the Param. It sees itself as separate from its bigger Self. The purpose of man then is to know Himself, to find his Atma. This would be attaining Mukti. 

The Pindam made of the elements derived from the Pancha Maha Bhutam in a specific proportion takes a form that begins to reside in the womb. The five elements are taken from each parent's body to shape the body of the embryo. Since this proportion is regulated by Lord Brahma, hence we know him as the creator of lives. In the event, the proportions are compromised complications appear in the fetus. Thus fate takes shape. In fact fate steps in even before the parents come together. The Soul decides where it is to be born and to whom so that it can see through the fulfilment of its karma and desires too. Vashisht Vaid in his blog https://holysageagathiyar.com/ mentions this process as "the divine creator or energy bringing forth his birth through consultation with the lunar forefathers and their angelic hierarchies that co-exist with us down here."

Annie Besant, Bhagawan Das and Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami have written about the triple nature of each karmic action as revealed by ancient yogis. In KARMA AND REINCARNATION - An Inspired Talk by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami we learn more. 

"Ancient yogis, in psychically studying the time line of cause/effect, assigned three categories to karma. The first is Sanchita, the sum total of past karma yet to be resolved. The second category is Prarabdha, that portion of Sanchita karma being experienced in the present life. Kriyamana, the third type, is karma you are presently creating."

The first is Sanchita, the sum total of past karma yet to be resolved. Sanchita is the accumulated karma of the past and is partly seen as man's tendencies: the character, his/her powers, capacities, and weaknesses, that came to be made through his/her many births. From the midst of the Sanchitas is selected a portion, Prarabdha and, at the time of the beginning of the body, time energizes this portion for reaping, and which cannot be avoided but must be experienced in the present life. Prarabdha is only exhausted by being experienced. That, which has begun, is actually bearing fruit. The Soul choses to be born in a certain country, into a certain race, to a certain parent, as a normal child or otherwise, to live or to leave. 

Vartamana or Kriyamana, the third type is karma that which is now being created. That karma is being done. The actual, that which is now being made for the future, or the coming karma.

The trio, Udal, Uyir and Atma, in coming together see to the healthy delivery of the child. The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its grip. But the Atma soon loses its grip and hold on us between 1 and 5 Varahai, a time period mentioned by Agathiyar used in the ancient days that I have yet to find an equivalent terminology or reference to present times. Although Agathiyar said he could not reveal the reason for the Atma to be veiled, after several readings we figured out its reason. 

The Atma that originates in the realm of the divine that is known as Paramatma comes as the Jeevatma to care for the new life that is taking shape in the mother's womb, hovering and staying with the Pindam and Uyir for a period of time that Agathiyar says is between 1 and 5 Varahai and then driven into hiding when the ego emerges. Karma is then set into motion and play. What is said to be the divine Lila is the play of karma on one's life. The trio, Udal, Uyir and Atma that came together once upon a time sees the Atma sidelined as man's ego grows. The Atma watches from a distance leaving the ego to rain destruction. The period where the Atma is veiled is where the process of karma takes its course. As man fattens his body and ego both the breath and soul diminish in importance to the extent that he is hardly aware of its existence till the time his body is on the verge of collapse. 

The late Dr.Krishnan told me that a child's karma initially affects the parents giving them for instance undue stress and worry if the child is sickly or joy if he was healthy. Karma only begins to affect the child when the child reaches puberty. By this time the child is able to figure out the right and wrong, distinguish between the good and bad, and begins to make his or her own decisions. His or her "I" comes to the forefront pushing the Atma behind the veil.

Agathiyar adds that the Atma makes its presence known depending on his or her actions. I believe when karma asserts itself and life takes its toll and he or she is lost for a solution and surrenders to the divine, the Atma appears to help him or her out. When life gives a trashing, he or she begins to question why his or her life was moving the way it did, the Atma appears to help him or her out. He tries to ponder and figure it out. He is then told of karma. 

Although we do not have control of the first two, Sanchita and Prarabdha, we definitely can chart the third, Vartamana or Kriyamana. This is where the Siddha comes into the picture or rather the Atma comes back to claim its rightful place among the trio. Paramahansa Yogananda explains, ""Knowledge of the law of karma encourages the earnest seeker to find the way of final escape from its bonds." Understanding karma will show us a way not to create further karma. He writes in his "Autobiography of a Yogi", Self Realization Fellowship, 1990, "Karma is not a finished thing awaiting us, but a constant becoming, in which the future is not only shaped by the past but is modified by the present."

But how many realize or are aware of karma and acknowledge it as the reason for their lives to move in a particular direction? Those who had been in the proximity of the Siddhas or have had their blessings in the past lives might be referred to see the Nadi or pointed to the Nadi reader or come to know of its existence at the right moment. He or she then has a calling from the Atma that leads them to have a reading. The Nadi reveals the past karma. Solutions are given too. It is now the moment of the great battle between one's "I" and the word of the Siddhas. While many take up the word of the Siddhas and follow some might tend to leave decrying that it is a hoax. Those who come to know the Nadi could brush it aside or venture to correct their karma. Agathiyar reveals a misconception that many including I had and that I had carried in many of my earlier posts that the Atma carries the imprints of karma. It is not so. I remain corrected. Agathiyar reveals that contrary to this understanding, the Atma helps clear our karma by showing us the way. Here is where we come to understand Agathiyar's statement that the Atma draws aside the veil and appears before him to help navigate the rest of his life according to the direction and action that one takes. 

If the "I" that thought it was in charge all this while, now beaten and wounded subdues and surrenders to its savior, the Atma, it heals and cares for him or her. The Atma returns to save him or her bringing salvation. This applies to those who believe and take the necessary actions to correct their past that shadows, follow, and impacts the present moment. Once the present is taken care of, the future takes care of itself. There is no need to intercept. We need only correct the present and the future will present itself in its best attire. Everything falls into its place.

Once karma has cleared the search to know the Atma intensifies. His search for his selfish gain loses its intensity. His seeking would be solely on knowing the Atma (Agathiyar) and reaching him. When it is time for the Udal that takes its constitution from the Pancha Maha Bhutam, to return to its source, back to its elements, the Uyir henceforth merges with the Atma to become the Jothi. It shall reach me then says Agathiyar. 

A MAMMOTH OF A TASK

Since Agathiyar asked us to turn each home an Agathiyar Vanam I guessed he had settled in snugly and made my home his home. My guess was right. Recently he said that my home Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) was his too (உன் இல்லம் என் இல்லம்). I guess he approves of the template we used at AVM too to worship the Siddhas. Armed with any painting of any Siddha and a list of names of the Siddhas we can venture to invite them into our homes. That is what I did too. When we extend an invitation, they come. When they come they scrutinize our lives and lifestyles and prepare us for a change if there was a need or otherwise enhance whatever we are doing. A simple worship that takes hardly 24 minutes of your time is given at this link https://drive.google.com/file/d/16g_jox_ffqwrtudFGAOly6IVHB57ubij/view?usp=sharing

Just as we invite a visitor into our homes you could serve them food and drinks. But make sure it is steaming hot. The reason is that they do not physically eat or consume but take in the hot steam. Once they come within us taking abode in our body, the sattvic food we take feeds the elementals and deities said to reside within us. We should then place a prayer as we consume the food that it should appease the hunger of many others out there as we are very much connected via the Prananjam.

Just as we have family and friends come join us in inviting our reputable guest or celebrities, we could invite them to join in our prayer session. They too shall receive the blessings of the visiting Siddhas. Soon they might be impressed to begin puja in their own homes too. This is how the worship of Siddhas can spread into other homes too. 

Just as a lady who was my daughter's colleague at work, accepting her invitation to join our puja asked me and my wife what we had gained in the years of worship to them, many do come with some expectation. Some for financial and monetary gains, others to heal their illness and sufferings, and yet others just to explore or satisfy their curiosity. There might be those who genuinely come wanting to know how to carry out the Siddha puja. Similarly, Agathiyar sent many youths my way to watch and learn the puja. My home soon became a place where they could congregate, worship, share their thoughts, experiences and share food. It was a fun place. But beneath all this devotion and fun, Agathiyar had a different purpose for AVM and me. 

When Tavayogi and Mataji visited us in 2016, we brought them and Agathiyar in the bronze statue at AVM to homes of devotees who invited them over. They were now officially on the path of worship of Siddhas. Since they were now equipped with the knowhow as to the worship of Siddhas, we expected them to carry on the worship inviting family and friends into their homes. But it did not happen. Fearing that this congregations would keep turning up weekly at AVM to sing the praise of the Siddhas, as with other places of worship turning it into centers, Agathiyar brought the shutters down in 2019 in time with the coming of the pandemic. Once the lockdowns were lifted and we moved into the endemic phase Agathiyar in his bronze statue agreed to leave AVM to grace other homes, bringing more people to the path of worship to the Siddhas. Only a handful responded. So when he asked that I turn each home an Agathiyar Vanam, I asked him if it was feasible based on my past experiences. He asked me to try. So, I shall try. 

Maybe I should us this blog and my YouTube channel that has a far-reaching audience to bring seekers and aspirants into the worship of the Siddhas rather than physically traveling and entering their homes that has been tried out and failed. To those keen to learn further on the worship of Siddhas look me up on Fb and message me. I shall guide you to my best ability. Remember though that I am not a guru or master in the subject on Siddhas. I am also a fellow traveler on the path who has been told to share my template on worship and share my inner experiences that resulted from the worship of the Siddhas.

USHERING THE SIDDHAS

There were many things that did not matter then or made no sense or made me question my worth when Agathiyar and the other Siddhas revealed the many Nadi readings. It is only after arriving there and experiencing them that we tend to believe what was taking place was real. Still, we need to pinch ourselves once in a while. But that is how the Siddhas shower their grace, love and compassion that knows no bounds. If only we could return a small portion of this. I guess we have to mellow further with age and experience. 

I started my career in 1980. So did I start my home puja in my bachelor home. I had all the deities' pictures laid out beautifully at my altar and sang songs of praise to them. I was only twenty then. Eight years later Lord Shiva in a dream asked me to cool off. I did as told. Ten years later I began to visit the temples again when my wife was carrying our second child. Four years later my nephew passes me the Vasudeva mantra to recite that I came to know later was from Agathiyar. The following year in 2002 I get a calling to read my Nadi. I made my maiden pilgrimage to India the following year and met my very first guru Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai just before boarding my flight to Malaysia the following day from Chennai. In 2005 Agathiyar has me meet Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram in Malaysia. Agathiyar paved the way for me to journey in his path after calling me to it. The Siddha path practically fell in my lap or rather appeared before me with each step I took. So did many things material in nature fall on my lap. It was all his grace. How can I ever repay him for his generosity, kindness, compassion, love and interest to see me live a comfortable life and succeed in the tasks that he had laid out for me. I was a tool in his hands. He sent youngsters over to my home to learn the Siddha puja or worship to the Siddhas. He went over to some of their homes too. I guess he is happy with the template we designed and used at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) to carry out the Siddha puja since he wants us to turn each home into Agathiyar Vanam just as Tavayogi was tasks to spread the fame and teachings of the Siddhas on our shores. For a start Pathmanaban invited us over to show him the method to worship the Siddhas. As I had a prior family event on Bala Chandran and Mahindren did a fine job that day in ushering the Siddhas into his home. I guess I can now step back and let them take on the show to greater heights. 

There are two ways to serve Agathiyar. One is to draft plans and programs and execute them. The other is to carry out what is assigned to us. We are bless to fall in the second category. The former could build the ego in us while the latter is executing his command and forever remaining his obedient servant.

For those keen to start on their own the following book could aid a beginner to the worship of the Siddhas in singing their praises.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16g_jox_ffqwrtudFGAOly6IVHB57ubij/view?usp=sharing

TRAVERSING THE SIX TIERS

Although I have been praying to all the deities in the Hindu pantheon all those years, but it needed a guru to flag off my journey on the Siddha path officially. Calling me to the path through my first Nadi reading, Agathiyar first and foremost called upon me to pray to Lord Ganesa. Ganesa and Vallabai who reside at the Muladhra are known to remove the prevalent and existing blocks and obstacles so that one could progress without hindrances and any further delays. Besides that looking through my past records, Agathiyar mentioned that all my efforts in puja and yoga practice never paid off because of my karma that stood in my way. For the love of me he had me carry out remedies. 

After Agathiyar beckoned me to the path in the Nadi reading, Tavayogi had to come by to launch my passage to Siddha hood. It is sort of christening a new ship before its maiden journey or flagging the race to begin it. But even before that Agathiyar passed the Vasudeva mantra through my nephew in a mysterious manner that pierced the knot known as the Vishnu Granti which adds obstructions for the sadhaka, keeping him under the wraps of attachment and bondage that leads to selfishness and ego. Next in line to be pierced was the Muladhara chakra. As the lady saint Avaiyar mentions in her Vinayagar Agaval, the tool that pierced the Muladhara was the breath. The set of Vaasi or Pranayama practices that Tavayogi taught us did its job within months of been officially initiated into the practice in 2007. "The Muladhara located at the base of the spine, the pelvic floor, and the first three vertebrae, acts as the gateway for the energy of the earth to pass through all our various bodies", says Veronica Hope. 

The energy gained in its intensity in 2010, creating excessive heat within leading to immobility. The three dosas went haywire as a result of this Tava Kanal. It stagnated at the Muladhara chakra. Agathiyar in revealing the reason for the excruciating back pain asked that I stop all forms of tapas and yoga practices for the time being in a Nadi reading in 2011. 

Slowly moving now from the earth element Muladhara in 2012, and coming to the water element Svadhisthana, the serpent energy took a long breather in the waters of the pond, some eleven years. Creativity is said to arise in leaps and bounds, as a result of blessings from Brahma and Saraswathi here. With their blessings my desire to fill the wide gap prevalent then in the absence of Siddha puja and its associated rituals, and the nonavailability of literature on the Siddhas and the path based on personal experiences was fulfilled when I compiled the songs of their praises, began to draw out a Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) for our simple home rituals and began to write on my journey. Many aspirants came into our lives to assist me. This was the advent of a new way of life, the Siddhar Neri.

In 2022, the dam burst and the floodwaters together with the serpent made its way upstream. The serpent swirled in the region below the abdomen over two consecutive days and made its way up to the crown where it kept swirling. What surprised me was that the serpent did not linger at the other chakras but instead made its way home. The ability to sustain our endeavors by the grace of Thirumaal and Laxmi at Manipuragam; endurance, a much-needed element to travel farther on this path, that is gifted by Rudra and Rudri and the eradication of fear of death and other fears and the burning of our past karma at Anagatham; the gloom and frustration that envelops us at this juncture leaves us by the grace of Maheswaran and Maheswari residing at Visukthi; and finally the fruits of yoga is granted at Ajna, by Sadasivan and Manonmani. Surprisingly all these came by unnoticed and was transcended by his divine grace. 

Just as the serpent is depicted around Lord Shiva's neck, the energy now lays coiled in the crown of the head. Occasionally its slithering movement is sensed especially when I bring my attention to it. Mounam or the state of silence sets in without effort. Engrossed in a state of continuous bliss, the body goes into a state of Samadhi while the spirit attains Mukti. All of cosmos becomes a teacher. He comes to know that he is one with the Prapanjam. He is a Jeevan Mukta whiling his time now till the call comes again this time to leave everything behind and journey into another world. 

We have to remember though that the results are not distinctively defined and that they might not appear as suggested or listed in these stages or levels of the journey within, but can move to and fro, bringing one to a high state of exaltation or being - one moment - and have him fall back into darkness the very next moment. This is where we need the grace of Erai to constantly watch over us, besides our attempt to watch our thoughts, breath, movements and internal activities. 

Tavayogi translated this internal journey and had the "Aaru Athaara Peedam", a granite stone structure at his Kallar Ashram symbolize and depicts the internal journey - externally. It is representative of the six vital spots or chakras along the spine, bringing to worship finally the flame or light emitting from a lamp placed at its peak, that Ramalinga Adigal symbolically left behind for us to worship.

FULFILL YOUR DESIRES

Conscious breathing is Pranayama. Learn to bring our consciousness into our breathing. We then become aware and conscious of our breath. Our thoughts and visualizations then ride on it. Agathiyar in asking us to go within asked us to use the breath as a tool. He told us to observe the breath. Ramalinga Adigal too came to remind us of that. Osho writes "Buddha said, "Be aware of your breath as it is coming in and going out." Eventually we shall take notice of the gap or interval between two breaths without effort. In bringing us Shivas first of nine techniques concerned with the breath, from the "Vigyan Bhairav Tantra", Osho in his "Book of Secrets" reveals, "If you can feel the gap Shiva says, the beneficence, then nothing else is needed. You are blessed, you have known; the thing has happened." 

Osho explains that contrary to our belief that the incoming breath and outgoing breath are running parallel as in parallel lines, they actually are one single breath, that in actuality flows in a circle. There is a point where the incoming breath turns and becomes the outgoing. Quoting another stanza of Shiva, we are asked to observe and realize this point of turning and become a realized soul. When the breath is static neither going out nor coming in, at this fusion point we are in our center. Agathiyar calls this center Suzhimunai. Each shall realize his center. It is the place where there arise energy and a feeling or unarvu that comes with it. "Know it to be your Suzhimunai," says Agathiyar. One who arrives at his center becomes total. Agathiyar calls this the state of Paripuranam. Osho asks us to observe the child breath. He says children are in their center and at their center. The reason being children give themselves up completely in all their doings and at all times. Hence we should learn to follow these children give themselves up in totality and not try to change them to our ways. 

Similarly learn to bring our consciousness into everything we do. Bring our consciousness into the simplest acts that we do each day. Learn to bring our consciousness into the act of eating, bathing, and even sex too. It would result in fulfillment and joy and satisfaction in having a meal, in getting a wash, and sex. Take some time to savor your food and drink rather than washing it down your gut. A technique to bring our awareness to the food we take is taught in the Buddhist tradition that Lama Surya Das writes about in his book, "Awakening the Buddha Within - Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World, Bantam Books, 1997. In his book, he teaches us "Eating meditation", a marvelous way of putting ourselves in touch with now-ness. It can really slow us down and make us more aware of compulsive behavior", he writes. This meditation does try one's patience to the limit though he says. For instance, he says we are accustomed to eating raisins by the handful. Here we take it one at a time. But before we put it into our mouth we feel it, we look at it as if we have never seen it before. We are asked to examine it thoroughly. Smell it. We are taught to direct our total attention to the raisin, which otherwise we hardly do. Only then do we begin to chew it slowly, actually tasting it for the very first time. Chew till it becomes juice.

Bring our consciousness into the walk that we take around the park. Look around us and be present in the moment. Catch the breeze that brushes our faces. See the greenery in all its beauty. Stop and talk to the trees and hug them. Stop and smell the flowers. Remove the sandals and shoes and go barefoot grounding ourselves once in a while. We are so connected to people and animals. Turn our attention to the rest of nature at least for once. Come out into the night and watch the night sky. Watch the moon and the stars. 

When consciousness comes within the quality of life improves. Everything is more enhanced especially the senses. Everything outside of us would become more brilliant to us. The sights, smell, sounds, touch, taste are all amplified. I am going through this phase currently. 

My ex-schoolmate, Muniandy Shanmugam writes about how he handles the stress that comes with his high-risk job in maintaining law and order in war-torn countries and recommends several coping mechanisms at ( https://www.linkedin.com/posts/muniandy-shanmugam-949a4245_managing-and-coping-mechanisms-with-stress-activity-7042398482749358080-tSl9?utm_source=li_share&utm_content=feedcontent&utm_medium=g_dt_web&utm_campaign=copy )

I have spent over two decades in high-risk countries and faced very challenging and demanding environments. Over the years in Sudan, Pakistan, Afghanistan and Somalia, I was slowly pulling away from people, displaying anger and agitation. I realized that these are common warning signs of emotional distress and needed to address them. Sharing some of the coping mechanisms as outlined below:

1. In the evenings, I listened to calming music such as sounds of birds chirping, rain, waterfall and especially the Tibetan Singing Bowls on my laptop.

2. I walked approximately 6 km daily and practiced “Grounding” (sitting with bare feet on grass) for at least an hour every day. 

3. Listened to some favorite mantras and sang along to relax and ease tensions. 

4. On the weekend, met my security focal points in their Cafes at Embassies and Security Chiefs in a much different setting than usual. 

5. Enjoyed silence with eyes closed and always lighted a scented candle on the weekend. 

6. I also ate my food early and healthy. I was careful with the food that I consumed daily. 

7. Engaged a stress councilor to compliment the above coping mechanisms and to address some of my other concerns. 

All these efforts helped me cope with the cumulative stress and my direct exposure to traumatic events especially in Afghanistan and Somalia. 

The relief from the coping mechanisms gave me the energy and presence of mind to work till my retirement from the United Nations.

Find a way to get out of the rut and routine once in a while. Give yourself a treat that you deserve. A chief clerk at my office would always speak about wanting to listen to classical music played in the comfort of his home in the evenings. I finally told him to get a player and he did the very next day. He had fulfilled his desire. A cousin of my wife was gifted a Royal Enfield Bullet motorcycle on his 6oth birthday by his wife. She fulfilled his wish to own and ride one. They both hit the road on weekends these days. A devotee had an eye on the Honda HR-V and now drives his family and us around too. My daughter wanted to watch A.R.Rahman live. The opportunity came when he held his concert recently. Her desire was fulfilled. So did my second daughter fulfill her desire to watch Pentatonix in Malaysia some years back and Billie Eilish recently. 

Osho says that it is important that we fulfill our desires. If you have any go out an fulfill them. You shall then leave this world without any regret. Know that beside our karma or the merits gained from our deeds both good and bad, unfulfilled desires too are a reason to take another birth. 

The saints on the other hand give their lives to the divine completely. Hence the divine comes to live within them. Every act of them is seen as divine. They act for the benefit of others rather than themselves. Since we are all connected, as the Prapanjam heals so do we. Saint Manickavasagar's humble prayer goes as follows. 

You know what I want,

You give me all I want,

You who are not reachable to Brahma and Hari,

Have come to embrace me,

However your grace shall be,

I shall accept it,

If there is a gift,

That too I shall leave it to you.

வேண்டத் தக்கது அறிவோய் நீ,

வேண்ட முழுவதும் தருவோய் நீ,

வேண்டும் அயன், மால்க்கு அரியோய் நீ,

வேண்டி என்னைப் பணிகொண்டாய்!

வேண்டி நீ யாது அருள் செய்தாய்,

யானும் அதுவே வேண்டின் அல்லால்,

வேண்டும் பரிசு ஒன்று உண்டு என்னில்,

அதுவும் உன் தன் விருப்பு அன்றே!

See the full song குழைத்தப பத்து - ஆத்தும நிவேதனம் at https://ta.wikisource.org/wiki

Osho relates the story of God asking a Sufi saint what he wanted through his angels. 

Let me tell you one very famous Sufi story, “The Holy Shadow.” 

There once lived a saint so good that the angels came from heaven to see how a man could be so godly. This saint went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. His day could be summed up by two words — he gave, he forgave — yet these words never passed his lips. They were expressed in his ready smile, his kindness, forbearance, and charity.

The angels said to God, “Lord, grant him the gift of miracles.”

God replied, “Ask what it is that he wishes.”

They said to the saint, “Would you like the touch of your hands to heal the sick?”

“No,” answered the saint. “I would rather God do that.”

“Would you like to convert guilty souls and bring back wandering hearts to the right path?”

“No, that is the angels’ mission. It is not for me to convert.”

“Would you like to become a model of patience, attracting men by the luster of your virtues, and thus glorifying God?”

“No,” replied the saint. “If men should be attracted to me, they would become estranged from God.” 

“What is it that you desire, then?” asked the angels.

“What can I wish for?” asked the saint smiling. “That God gives me his grace; with that would I not have everything?”

The angels said, “You must ask for a miracle, or one will be forced upon you.”

“Very well,” said the saint. “That I may do a great deal of good without ever knowing it.”

The angels were perplexed. They took counsel and resolved upon the following plan: every time the saint’s shadow fell behind him or to either side, so that he could not see it, it would have the power to cure disease, soothe pain, and comfort sorrow. When the saint walked along, his shadow, thrown on the ground on either side or behind him, made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom, gave clear water to dried-up brooks, fresh color to pale children, and joy to unhappy men and women.

The saint simply went about his daily life diffusing virtue as the stars diffuse light and the flowers scent, without being aware of it. The people, respecting his humility, followed him silently, never speaking to him about his miracles. Soon they even forgot his name, and called him “The Holy Shadow.”

This is the ultimate: one has to become the holy shadow, just a shadow of God. This is the greatest revolution that can happen to a human being: the transfer of the center. You are no longer your own center; God becomes your center. You live like his shadow. You are not powerful, because you don’t have any center to be powerful. You are not virtuous; you don’t have any center to be virtuous. You are not even religious; you don’t have any center to be religious. You are simply not, a tremendous emptiness, with no barriers and blocks, so the divine can flow through you unhindered, uninterpreted, untouched — so the divine can flow through you as he is, not as you would like him to be. He does not pass through your center — there is none. The center is lost.

This is the meaning of this sutra: that finally, you have to sacrifice your center so you cannot think in terms of the ego again, you cannot utter “I,” to annihilate yourself utterly, to erase yourself utterly. Nothing belongs to you; on the contrary, you belong to God. You become a holy shadow.