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Srinath Raghavan posted the following on Fb.

The topography of the place you live in, I realise, subtly influences your moods, determining if you are going to be happy or sad. In my travels around the sacred places/sited that Bharathavarsha has, two things stood out very clearly - one is the intrinsic topography, including the soil quality, ground levels etc. and the next, the kind of people who inhabited the place in the past.

Some of the sites I got to visit in the recent past, "exploded" with spiritual energy, even after the ones who inhabited it, were long dead and gone. Their power of tapas had infused every rock and stone reverberating with silent spiritual vibrations. It's just that your awareness or consciousness also has to be in tune with that range to experience what they have to offer freely.

What makes a vacation and a pilgrimage different is the kind of energy you are already vibrating to, that makes it either a pleasant experience or an inner experiment in awakening.

This truth comes from one who has realized the truth. It is for this purpose that we are asked to or moved to undertake pilgrimages. But sadly it has turned out to be like any other vacation. The conversation that rings in our minds is carried out with others the moment we board the bus and continue into the sacred spaces that we step in. People fail to respect the sanctity of these sacred abodes. It is time we began to observe ourselves and conduct ourselves appropriately. We need to be always aware of ourselves and not carried away by the drive to speak. At times others tend to start the conversation first in the wrong places. It is our duty to correct them and shut them up. Then there are others who look for rituals to perform in these sacred places. Only this shall satisfy them and bring completeness to their tour of the place they believe.

Agathiyar says that no rituals are needed in such places. All he asks us to do is to sit quietly and tap the existing energy that reverberates in these places. By shutting down our senses, we become a receptacle to receive these energies. It might not happen the first time around or at the first place we visit but we shall come to realize it as we pursue. 

Our minds are filled with thoughts 24/7. To save us from going cuckoo we sleep it off. But then many sleep on it carrying the thoughts with them into their sleep. A classic example of how thoughts influence us is seen in the movie "Oh My Kadavule". I just finished watching it. I loved the movie. If God gives you a chance to relive your life what would you want to be or do with it? Would you opt for this life or choose another? If we follow our thoughts making calculated moves are we assured of success in all our ventures? At times we might have thought if life would have been better if we had made a different choice or decided otherwise. God creates that space for the lead character to revise and relive his life. I too had so many options in life. If I had opted for something else my whole life would have been different. I would have met different people. I would have lived in a different place. I would have had entirely different experiences. The "I" could have made me make decisions that could have ruined my life. Not that I did not make wrong decisions in this life. But I was saved in all these moments. I was spared disgrace and humility. I was spared my life. Who was behind me or rather stood in front of me shielding me if it was not Agathiyar and the lineage of gurus? If Supramania Swami was my left eye Tavayogi was my right. Agathiyar was the third eye. They gave me sight and vision. When they rule the thoughts all shall be well. Ramalinga Adigal sings in his Arutprakasa Maalai that Lord Nadarajar walked the distance till his foot was sore and placed something in his palms. I cannot recall but I came to know that it was Agathiyar who came to his humble home and gave him two sweets or laddu. This sweet denoted Gnanam. I too was given two gurus who in turn gave me all their prized possessions. What more could one ask for?

REMEMBERING TAVAYOGI

Not everyone is cut for a particular job. Then among them, their approach would differ. Similarly, not everyone is a leader. Most just like to follow. The Siddhas were pioneers in many fields. The Siddhas of the past very often were radical in their approach. They took up challenges. They explored. They were explorers. They explored the marvels of creation both within and without. They studied every aspect of creation. They achieved. They departed their experiences and wisdom to others. They documented them for generations to come. They went to the extent of even recording the past, present, and future of select individuals besides the future of the world at large. Today they are still around working on those willing to take up the challenge. They have joined the ranks of the gods and goddesses of the Hindu pantheon and are worshiped by these select groups. 

Although they left behind a tradition and a way of living these days they are seen as a cult where society kept them away from the mainstream paths of devotion. Now the path is only made available for those who dare to venture out of the mainstream devotion. I was called to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi. I took it up. Though the worship of the Siddhas and their path might seem alien to many out there, as it was to me too in the beginning, those who travel the path shall realize that it is very much aligned to and accommodates the core faiths and beliefs of others. The Siddhas only shun certain practices only after having traversed them and not before. I was asked to install a statue of Agathiyar and worship him. Today after perfecting the ritual, and having gained immense benefits from it Agathiyar tells us to drop the rituals. He got us to do charity and today he has asked us to drop that too. He got us off to a wonderful start in practicing Yoga and today has us do a select few poses of asanas. If we were forcefully trying to control the breath back then now he asks us to drop that and simply observe it. All efforts have come to a stop. The results of our past efforts like the river current or the wind shall propel us forward henceforth. I realized that the Siddhas make us learn a thing and later drop it. It goes the same for the desires too. The vasanas are brought to the forefront either to be exhausted or have us drop them. While Supramania Swami's dream of building a temple was shattered by them, they drove Tavayogi to build one. I was asked to build a temple too but the idea has since then been dropped. 

As one progresses along the path and gains the experiences he can safely move on dropping his previous hold on rituals and practices. Eventually, he is told to sit still and do nothing. In carrying out all the activities that he desired, that was driven by his "I" he earns karma both good and bad according to the nature of the activities. To balance the sheet, one is sent to do remedies. Many do not realize that their lives are shaped by karma. Very few are privileged to know their past karma. Among those who come to know, most settle to carry out the remedies and move on with life gathering the latest editions of it. To the few who carry them out and decide to explore karma further, they are brought to the worship of the Siddhas. They are given tasks that would cleanse and wipe the karma the moment it appears. As we take each step, an invisible broom sweeps away any trace of our karma. As we walk on the sands of the beach the tide comes in to wipe any trace of it. If before coming to the path the Siddhas highlight one's karma, after taking hold of them, this subject too is dropped. The Siddhas settle the debts for those aspirants who hold on to their feet. They have us drop even the thoughts the moment it arises hence stopping the advent of action and all its outcomes.

The Siddhas are very much humane. They have feelings too. They are compassionate. They are concerned. They work to bring us out of delusion. Their only concern is to lead us back to the kingdom of God. 

Take any book written about the Siddhas, it tries to convey their history and story. Most often it is a repetition of what we have read before. Although it is difficult to separate the myth from the history of the Siddhas, P.Karthigayan in his book the "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu", Notion Press, 2016, defines the former as "unconventional information about age-old history which survived as folklores and mystified as mythology" while the latter were accounts "substantiated by relics and records of archeological discoveries." 

When Suren sat before a Nadi reader enquiring the origin of Agathiyar, Agathiyar was hesitant in revealing it. But since we at AVM had mooted Suren to ask the question Agathiyar obliged but was very brief in telling us his story. He did not divulge much. To the Siddhas, these are not important. At times they ask us what use is knowledge of their past. They are more concerned about dispersing the truth through their messages. The truth though it has been modified over the ages or buried survives time. They help us sieve through it or retrieve the truth respectively. Similarly, Tavayogi never spoke about his past except about a couple of moments in his life. These were rare moments when he opened up about himself. I only knew him after his arrival in Malaysia to officiate a Peedham in 2005. I only had very brief information about the years before we met. So I mooted the idea to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar that she should write about our guru for she knew him from their days of Pattimandram where Tavayogi would chair the debate and Mataji would take the stand with several others. In her times of trouble, Tavayogi brought Mataji to his guru Chitramuthu Adigal and she too became a disciple of him. Just before Tavayogi went into samadhi he appointed Mataji to take charge of the ashram. He made his last call to me to inform me that in the event he does not return to his ashram, as he was hospitalized then, that Mataji would take charge henceforth. So I told her she was the right candidate to write his biography. When I was wondering if she had begun to write, as there was no word about it, she calls me several days ago to inform me that the book should be ready for release during the upcoming annual Guru Puja for Agathiyar that is scheduled to take place on 23rd December 2021. I was filled with joy that finally I shall get to read his life story, his story, his history. Please place your orders if you want a copy with Mataji at +91 98425 50987. As the book is in Tamil, once it's out I shall try to translate portions of the book and post them in this blog. I think that is the least I could do for my guru too.

While awaiting the official account of his life story, let me share whatever little I know about Tavayogi as an introduction to the man. T.K Thangarajan as he was known was a successful businessperson managing his cotton industry in Tiruppur in Coimbatore. He indulged in politics and movies too. Tavayogi before becoming a mendicant or turavi, used to be a well-known orator often chairing the many talk shows or pattimandrams that were popular with the public. After he became a disciple of Chitramuthu Adigal he came to be known as Thaaiveedu Thangarasan. The talent he had as a proficient and convincing speaker was put to use and maximized in later years as he took the stage again but this time to preach and popularize the path of the Siddhas or Siddhar Margam.

Tavayogi had seen the worst of times when his business collapsed as a result of policies and politics in India at that period of time. He had to hit the streets with his family. He became blind overnight and was on the verge of committing suicide when he formed a determined resolve to believe in Agathiyar and let Agathiyar rule his life as he (Agathiyar) pleases. He regained his sight. His life picked up and he regained his lost treasures too only to leave them all behind voluntarily later as he adorned the saffron robe and became a mendicant. He handed over the responsibility of managing the company to his son and family and walked out of all the luxuries he had been accumulating until then.

His travels took him throughout India bringing him to Rishikesh, the hills of Uthiyore, Kolli, Sathuragiri, and Pothigai amongst many other sites of Siddhas. Tavayogi sought out a place known as Agathiyar Vanam on the instruction of Agathiyar and finally located it on the 9th km of the Ooty-Mettupalayam trunk route at Kallar. He pitched a hut that started out as his first ashram. He named it after his guru, the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham Thirukovil.

In 2004, Tavayogi accompanied an Indian citizen working in Malaysia, to Malaysia only to be left stranded alone on the streets of Kuala Lumpur. He contacted the only reference he had in Malaysia, Soundarajan. Soundarajan took him in. Tavayogi found his way to Lord Perumal’s temple in Puchong where he gave his first talk in Malaysia, preaching the Siddha Margam as instructed by Agathiyar.

After meeting Appana Nagappan in Kallar, Tavayogi traveled again to Malaysia in 2005 at the invitation of Appana to officiate the opening of his movement the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Wisma Keringat in Batu Caves. Tavayogi who had come to officiate the local chapter of his Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in 2005, moved on to address the public in numerous venues; initiating numerous Peedhams; coming again in 2007 as the patron and officiating the First World Conference of Siddha Philosophy in Kuala Lumpur. Through him, many devotees came to the path of the Siddhas. I was one of them. I shall recap my journey with Tavayogi from the year 2005 when I met him in Malaysia till 2016 when we were at his new ashram for its inauguration.

I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal for the first time at the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Wisma Keringat in Batu Caves. Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal’s name was mentioned to me four years prior to meeting him. Nadi Guru Senthilkumar handed me a leaflet in 2002 from Thaiveedu Thangarasan. He was sourcing funds towards the building of a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar, Tamilnadu. I had kept that leaflet with me. When the Tamil language newspapers carried news about the opening of the Agathiyar Nyana Peedham in Malaysia by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005, I searched for the leaflet that I had stashed away. I took it with me to see Tavayogi. He confirmed the leaflet was his. Tavayogi accepted me as his disciple amongst many others. Thus began a beautiful relationship between a guru and a disciple.

Subsequently, Tavayogi invited me over to his ashram at Kallar. 

I was shown the life he lived. I was taken on morning walks. We bathe in the nearby stream that had its source in the mineral and herb-rich mountains of Ooty. I was shown how to conduct prayers to the Siddhas. I was given an opportunity to do charity and feed the poor. Tavayogi did not have me sit in front of him and preach to me; rather I observed and learned from him. I was given an opportunity to watch how he lived. I saw the humbleness in him; the kindness in him; and the simplicity with which he lived. He used to sit and entertain all those who came to him. To those who came with problems he did not duel into the problems trying to find ways and suggests means to overcome it but instead asked that they pray to the Siddhas to help clear these problems. He avoided taking on the karma of people.

I was blessed to be taken on a pilgrimage by Tavayogi to Siddha samadhis, caves, and temples which included Agathiyar’s sannadhi at the Agneepureeswarar temple in Agasthiyampalli, Karuvurar’s sannadhi at the Breehadeshwarar temple in Tanjore, Punakeeswarar’s samadhi at Chennimalai, Sivavakiyar’s samadhi inside Lord Murugan's temple at Sivanmalai, Konganar’s cave in the hills of Uthiyore in Kanganam,  Agathiyar’s cave in the hills of Courtalam, and Ramalinga Adigal’s cave and Dhakshanamurthi’s cave also in the hills of Courtalam. He took me to Agathiyar’s sannadhi at Kutraleshwarar temple in Courtalam, Agathiyar’s temple at the Agathiyar’s Fall in the Pothigai hills, and Bhogar’s samadhi at Palani too. 

Tavayogi was not one who easily parted with the intricate workings of the spiritual world. He preached the basics of the Siddha path to the masses. He once told me I had to wait 12 years before he would part with this knowledge. His ever-faithful aid and disciple Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyaar too was waiting patiently for the day when he would reveal this knowledge. Just before his demise in 2017, he parted all his knowledge and wisdom to Mataji including reading the Jeeva Nadi in their possession.

I was given another initiation before I bid farewell. Back home in Malaysia, I accompanied Tavayogi to his Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal’s samadhi in Tapah in 2007. When Tavayogi visited Malaysia again in 2008 he taught us Yoga Asanas, which Agathiyar tells me in the Nadi, is to be treasured, cherished, and put into practice. He showed me how to perform rituals like Abhisegam (ablution of the idol) and lighting the sacrificial light or fire (Homam).

When Shiva Sri Muthu Kumara Sivachariar who was in the midst of building a Sakti temple at Bukit Rotan in Malaysia invited Tavayogi over to the temple grounds to identify if there was a samadhi or at least the presence of Siddhas at the location of the temple he was building I drove Tavayogi there. Before we left, Tavayogi wanted a branch from the Neem or Veppam tree that had to be in the shape of Y. He snapped the branch from the tree that I had planted at my home. I wondered why. On arrival at the temple grounds, Tavayogi surprised me by using the branch to locate energy spots. Although he held the branch firmly in both his hands, he was being dragged from one spot to another until the inner sanctum, which was still under construction, where the branch snapped into two. He told the Sivachariar the signs were there and that there was a samadhi at the exact spot where the Sivachariar had chosen to place the inner sanctum of Goddess Ma. Again, at the requests of Sivachariar, Tavayogi led us to a spot where a shrine will be built for Agathiyar. How did he identify this spot this time? Tavayogi placed lime paste that is eaten with betel leaf on the palm of Sivachariar and led him from one spot to another. Finally when at a particular spot outside the temple complex, the lime paste that was white turned red in color. Tavayogi told Sivachariar to put up the temple for Agathiyar at this spot. 

Moving forward to 12 October 2013, as my family and I, Jnana Jyothiamma, Dr. Ram, and Deva, gathered around Tavayogi and Mataji, at Kallar Ashram, Tavayogi started narrating the many miracles that had taken place at Kallar since. We sat listening to him in awe, at the way the 1 1/2 feet tall mystical Rudraksham weighing 7 kg was delivered and the unbelievable visitations of Lobhamudra, Lord Murugan, and Konganar to Kallar. Upon my requests, Tavayogi went on to narrate again, on video, how he came to the Siddha path. This was the very first account of his life on video that was narrated in full by him, as all these while we used to get pieces of his life story. Jnana Jyothiamma and Dr. Ram left shortly while we stayed over. As morning dawned, Tavayogi adorned his cap and stocking and took us along on his usual morning walk. It made me recall the days I spent with him in 2005. We came down the ashram, walked along the railway line, cut across the small township and reached the Ooty-Methupalaiyam trunk road, and headed for Thuripaalam, a bridge built during British times. Then we got off the main road into the plantations. It was an educational tour for my family and me and Mataji's granddaughter who tagged along. Upon returning from the walk we freshened up and started for Ooty. Tavayogi and Mataji hitched a ride with us, while other devotees came in the ashram vehicle. We picked up Dr. Nanjan, a veterinarian, and his friend at Coonoor, and headed for the Sri Sargurunathar's Sevashram. While Tavayogi and his team adjoined to meet other devotees in Ooty to deliver the invitations for the upcoming Guru Puja celebrations, Mataji, Dr. Nanjan and his friend accompanied us to some tourist spots in Ooty starting with Doddabetta Peak. After Dr. Nanjan and his friend excused themselves, we headed for the Boat House situated on Ooty Lake to catch a boat ride. 

14 October 2013

My wife had mentioned her desire earlier to me to conduct prayers with Tavayogi at his ashram. Tavayogi consented. He started the prayers with a couple of hymns. He gave way to my family and me to continue. It was a privilege to sing at Kallar Ashram before Agathiyar. After breakfast, we got ready to hike up the hills behind Tavayogi's ashram. Prabhakaran, Silambarasan, and Kartik led the way. At 12.15 noon we made our way down the hill back to the ashram. Just then Tavayogi and Mataji too returned from Methupalaiyam. The Seth who was to take us on the next leg of our pilgrimage too arrived at that moment. 

Tavayogi had earlier wanted to take us to Uthiyur some distance from Kangeyam where Konganar had meditated in the caves, that afternoon. But as the Seth offered to bring Tavayogi to the Nattadreeswarar Temple at Kangeyampalayam near Erode, Tavayogi took us along too. After a quick lunch, we set off for Erode. It was already nearing dusk as we arrived at Kangeyampalayam on the banks of Kaveri. On our way back we stop over at a Goshala. Here my children have a field day feeding the cows. It was close to midnight as we arrived back at Kallar.

Tavayogi who was pretty much impressed by the singing of the hymns by my children and wife the day before, requested that they sing again the next morning. After breakfast, we bid farewell to Tavayogi and Mataji and make our way back to Trichy and Malaysia.

Tavayogi and Mataji arrived in Malaysia on 15 June 2016 to witness my daughter's marriage the following day. After the wedding, Tavayogi and Mataji were ferried to the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mrithiga Brindavanam Kinta. They then stopped over at their Paramaguru's samadhi, the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam in Tapah, before returning to Kuala Lumpur. Later that evening, Sri Krishna of AUM arranged to perform a puja for Agathiyar at the Eco City Agathiyar temple. Over the next few days, there was a continuous stream of devotees and visitors seeking Tavayogi and Mataji's blessings.

We arranged to conduct Siddha puja in the homes of devotees. The first such puja was held in Bala Chandran Gunasekaran's. Just before arriving at Bala Chandran's home, Tavayogi and Mataji stopped over at an old folks' home where Bala Chandran's family was conducting a monthly annadhanam. AVM Agathiyar continued to travel to homes of AVM family members accompanied by Tavayogi and Mataji, blessing and bringing joy to the devotees, including the homes of Dyalen Muniandi, Rajah, Santosh, Devaranie, Surendaren Selvaratnam, Sri Krishna, and Mahindran. After having graced the homes of devotees in Malaysia, both Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar crossed the causeway into Singapore to meet devotees of Agathiyar in the island republic. Surendran Selvaratnam of AVM accompanied them. Tavayogi and Mataji were brought to a couple of temples while in Singapore too. Returning from Singapore they joined my family in conducting a puja at AVM. 

On 17 July 2016, AVM family members, AUM and Thondu Seivom headed for the Taiping Thanneermalai Sri Thandayuthapani Temple to join Tavayogi and Mataji in conducting the Siddhar Yagam and Puja at the temple premises. Yagam was conducted at the Eco City Agathiyar temple and the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam in Tapah.

Tavayogi and Mataji paid homage to Lord Muruga at Batu Caves and Mauna Samy's Samadhi on 27 July 2016. After 43 days in Malaysia and a couple of days in Singapore, Tavayogi and Mataji headed back to their homeland the next day. Tavayogi and Mataji had led the prayers in the homes of 12 devotees and in 3 temples, besides gracing the homes of many others. Many received the blessings of Agathiyar through the Jeeva Nadi readings that were read out by Tavayogi.

When Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal confirmed the date of the Kumbhabhisegam of his new Agathiyar temple/ meditation hall complex as on 16 December 2016 the AVM family made its way to Kallar Ashram. We were privileged to participate actively in their programs.

15 December 2016

Vastu Puja/ Muthal Kaala Velvi

வாஸ்து பூஜை /முதல் கால வேள்வி : மக்களை வாழவைக்கும் தமிழ்க் கடவுளுக்கும் முற்காலம் உணர்ந்த குருமுனிக்கும் 18 சித்தர்களுக்கும் வேள்வி வழிபாடு 

16 December 2016

Erandam Kaala Velvi

இரண்டாம் கால வேள்வி / அருள்மிகு முருகப் பெருமானுக்கும் அருள்மிகு அகத்தியருக்கும் அருள்மிகு 18 சித்தர்களுக்கும் திருக்குட நன்னீராட்டு 

17 December 2016

Book Release

நூல் வெளியீட்டு

18 December 2016

Kodi Yetram/ Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam

கொடியேற்றம் / சர்வ தோஷ நிவாரண மஹா யாகம்

After Tavayogi's demise in 2017, Mataji continues to run and manage the Ashram. She continues the tradition set by Tavayogi. Yoga classes and talks, prayers for Agathiyar and the Siddhas, feeding the poor, and giving handouts in cash and kind with financial assistance from the public, and reading the Jeeva Nadi continues till this day. As I look back to the days when I got introduced to Tavayogi, it brings back fond memories. Agathiyar first brought me to the Nadi, so that he could reveal the reason for being here; and later brought me to my guru, so that I knew where I was heading. Agathiyar himself then came into our lives through a Murthy or bronze statue in 2010. Now he comes through devotees and guides us. We are indeed blessed.

CONNECTING

I remember the days when I subscribed to Malaysia's first and pioneer internet service provider Jaring in 1994. You had to dial up to connect to the internet. With the introduction of Voice, Internet, and Phone (VIP) through optical fiber network, I signed up for it in 2011, a year after it was introduced. It has made it possible for readers and me to stay connected all these years.

Just as the optical fiber physically connects computer networks in different locations, the child is physically connected to his/her mother in the mother's womb. The umbilical cord in pregnancy connects the fetus to the mother. "The umbilical cord is the baby's lifeline to the mother. It transports nutrients to the baby and also carries away the baby's waste products. It is made up of three blood vessels – two arteries and one vein." (Source: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/) As the mother and child are connected in the womb, for the whole duration of her pregnancy, a bond arises between them that lasts till the last days of their lives. If we are connected with the mother in the womb, a part of the father is in us too. Primary elements from both mother and father went into forming this Pindam or embryo. As we are co-creators, we are all connected in this web of creation going beyond this birth into the past births and similarly shall be connected in the future births too. We stay connected. 

Seeking spiritual growth, we create a bond with the guru and his lineage and vice versa. The whole lineage becomes an umbrella protecting us. They shadow us. They lay signs along the way. They remove obstacles. They hasten the journey back home. We stay connected.

For those who take up the Siddha path, the Nadi or Olai Suvadi connects them with Agathiyar and the rest of the Siddhas. The predictions for selected individuals and prophecies for nations are said to have been written in the distant past in palm leaves that since has come to be duplicated and is available through the Nadi readers. The contents of these Nadi connects an individual with his past, present, and future. The Nadi serves as a reminder of our existence in time-space. We stay connected. 

If he desires the seeker can get connected with the Siddhas too, by taking up their worship. A whole new adventure begins to unfold henceforth. The previous fate that was written is erased.  A new destiny opens up. We stay connected. 

A guardian angel is identified through the Nadi. In giving us an initiation, usually a mantra to chant, it connects us to the particular Siddha or a particular form of a deity. Others might be connected to their Kaval Deivam, Kula Deivam, or Ista Deivam. The Kaval Deivam or village deities are the patron deities or grama devata of the village. The Kula Deivam, or guardian spirits are ascribed to various sects or clans in the community. The Ista Deivam is an aspect of the formless that one is captivated with and chooses to adore and worship. The past connects with us. We stay connected.

Man's journey within begins when he starts to try to understand why something happened? Why it had to happen? Why does it happen to him and not others? etc. Trying to decode the mysteries of life, suffering and disease led Prince Siddhartha to fully understand suffering.  The prince began to investigate the causes and the reasons for the sufferings of others. He followed others in fasting for long periods that caused him to suffer reaching the brink of starvation. He realized it would be fruitless if he was to die of starvation. He would never know the truth. Hence he gave up the extreme way and opted for the Middle Way. He became enlightened. 

As for us, we tend to look the other way and walk away, or maybe place a dime into their plate. We ignore the plight of others until we fall ill or someone close to us does or if we face a similar situation. Then we begin to question life and its fairness. I too had such questions as I saw those around me suffer though I was spared these sufferings. I could not comprehend why a select few went through it. I began to read further hoping that I shall find answers within the pages of the books I read. Nope. All the reading confused me further as what was written did not match and tally with reality. I was saved from further agony by Lord Shiva coming in a dream and asking me to quit questioning for the time being. That time period of abstinence from all forms of worship, practice, and reading stretched to some 14 years. When the time was right in their eyes, the calling came through their missionaries in 2001. I was granted an audience to read the Nadi the following year where all the truth was laid before me. My questions we answered. I understood why people suffered. I was rewarded with a gift that of patronage to Agathiyar as my guru. A year after I was granted an audience with Supramania Swami, my guru in physical form with whom I suppose I had a previous bond. Three years on I was introduced to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, a guru on the Siddha path. I began learning further, discovering the mysteries of life, experiencing life on the path of the Siddhas rather than learning them from the texts as previously. We still stay connected though my gurus have passed on.

I began to realize that life seems different for each other because of the illusion of perspective. Though the earth is one and the world around us is one, why do we see and feel different about things? For some, time is running out and as for others, they find it difficult to kill time. Life is a joy for some but others dread it. While some struggle to fit in, others' lives are a breeze. When I attended a course on Neuro-Linguistic programming the presenter gave us an exercise. He told us to draw an elephant. As I was an artist I began to draw a full-blown elephant in its proper proportions and full of details in a jiffy. Many of my coursemates struggled to draw. Some drew the elephant the size of a mouse in one corner of the A3 paper. Others drew it so big that they ran out of paper. Then we were asked to present our masterpieces to all. When I took the stage everyone claimed that it was not fair as they had to compete with an artist. Then the presenter came up and drew his version of an elephant. In a big piece of paper, he placed a dot and told us it was his elephant ........ seen from space. The truth of his statement hit me so hard that I realized it was all a matter of sight, looking, perceiving, receiving, and absorbing. This reminded me of the ever-famous story of the 5 blind men and the elephant. When asked to describe the elephant they could only describe the portion that they held and felt through their hands. I was also reminded of the youth who wanted to end his life but turned back home after meeting a blind man who asked him to describe the world they lived in. While running a narrative of what he saw before him the youth began to see things anew. Only then did he begin to take notice of the beauty in things around him. Looking out and seeing them on behalf of the blind man brought a new perspective of the world into his life. This is how the guru points out certain things and brings our awareness to the present moment. What we had been unaware of before is then brought to our attention. Many such moments took place as I hurried to keep pace with Tavayogi during our spiritual outing.

Each person's perspective determines how his life would turn out to be. I have seen some who never stop complaining. They go on complaining for the rest of their lives. I wonder if they have anything nice to say about others and things around them and appreciate or are grateful? They do not realize that all their problems are of their own doing. They attract problems, troubles, obstacles, and delays. This is the law of attraction. 

Here is where the Siddhas give us a useful mantra. They ask that we accept what comes to us gladly be it happiness or suffering.

All things external are a stimuli that arouse emotions, either of pleasures or pain within. If the senses that turn us on bring on the pleasures or pain, all teachings and initiations, agamic rituals, and yogic practices bring on similar but subtle experiences that in turn bring us to experience the divine within. If the former is Chitrinbam the latter is Perinbam. There is a thin line between these two.

As we share the primary elements that maketh us and the world around us and are part of all of Prapanjam we remain connected. When we start to see divinity in all of creation that is Soruba Nilai. The idea here is not to shut out the senses but to take charge and use them to lead us to experience the divine energies and use these energies to transform the body and the senses, the body returning to its primary elements and the experiences derived from the senses turning into divine vibrations and energies. Here we are told to get connected with the whole or Puranam that goes by many names namely the Prapanjam, the Universe, the Cosmos, or Consciousness. We are to get connected with the subatomic particles in the primary elements. Upon connecting, we realize the connectivity beginning with our body and its various Kosas, with others, and with our surroundings, that go beyond sight and sound. We connect with the vibration prevalent in all things that until now was not accessible by our senses, due to its limitations. The senses expand to envelope and connect with the Prapanjam. We simply know things, moving away from the need to read about them and experience them. This is Gnanam. Knowing happens through simply connecting. No mediums and tools are required to acquire this wisdom. 

For all this to take place, we need the body. The body is a receptacle if we want to travel the path of the Siddhas. Do not dump it. Many a saint had realized the importance of the body to reach the destination. Buddha had regretted that he had tortured his body through performing and observing severe austerities. Tirumular regretted that he had ignored its importance. He only realized that the body could be transformed into a divine abode for divinity when the divine came within. On realizing the importance of the physical body he extolls the need to care for it, even more so as it becomes the abode of the divine. The Atma that stays with the body engages it to perform activities that help strengthen it arriving at gaining and attaining Atma Balam or Soul Power. The means to achieve spiritual experiences and Atma Balam is through engaging the body. Knowing this there is a need to care for it.

உடம்பினை முன்னம் இழுக்கென் றிருந்தேன்
உடம்பினுக் குள்ளே உறுபொருள் கண்டேன்
உடம்புளே உத்தமன் கோயில்கொண் டான்என்று
உடம்பினை யானிருந் தோம்புகின் றேனே.

சிவ நூல் கேட்பதற்கு முன்பெல்லாம் உடம்பை அழுக்கு ஒன்றையே உடையதாகக் கருதி இகழ்ந்திருந்தேன். சிவநூல் கேட்ட பின்னர், அதற்குள்தானே பயனை அடைதற்குரிய வழிகள் பலவும் இருத்தலை அறிந்தேன். அதனால், அவ்வறிவின் வழியே, உடம்பிற்குள் தானே இறைவன் தனக்கு இடம் அமைத்துக் கொண்டிருக்கின்றான் என்பதையும் அறிந்து, இப்பொழுது நான் உடம்பைக் கேடுறாதவாறு குறிக்கொண்டு காக்கின்றேன்.

உடம்பார் அழியில் உயிரார் அழிவர்
திடம்பட மெய்ஞ்ஞானஞ் சேரவு மாட்டார்
உடம்பை வளர்க்கும் உபாயம் அறிந்தே
உடம்பை வளர்த்தேன் உயிர்வளர்த் தேனே.

உடம்பு அழியுமாயின், அதனைப் பெற்றுள்ள உயிரும் அழிந்ததுபோலச் செயலன்றி நிற்பதாம். ஆகவே, உடம்பு அழிந்தபின், அவ்வுடம்பைத் துணைக்கொண்டு இயங்கிய உயிர், தவமாகிய துணையைப் பெறவும், பின் அதனால் இறையுணர்வை அடையவும் இயலாததாய்விடும். இதுபற்றி, உடம்பை நிலைபெறுவிக்கும் வழியை அறிந்து அவ்வழியில் அதனை நிலைபெறுவித்த யான், உயிரை நலம் பெறச் செய்தவனே ஆயினேன்.

(Source: http://www.thevaaram.org/thirumurai_1/onepage.php?thiru=10&Song_idField=10313)

It is time we took special care of our bodies. It is time we prepared the body to receive the divine within. When he comes within he shall bring on the necessary changes. He does the housekeeping, taking on the household chores and the responsibility of running it, from us. He sees to it that his requirements are met. He sources all that is required. He takes possession of the body that was loaned to us. The Atma returns to reign both the Udal and the Uyir. The Atma diverts them to carry out activities that would now be beneficial for the Atma to gain Atma Balam or Soul Power. A new journey begins. A new perspective of life is shown. 

Man gets enlightened numerous times in his life. But the sad thing is that it either he does not recognize, is not aware or it slips his mind or he shoves it aside for the pleasures in life that he has become addicted to. The Atma that is veiled comes afront many times to enlighten him. If only he takes the cue his destiny is rewritten by the divine hand henceforth. His fate is wiped clean. 

HOW MUCH EFFORT IS NEEDED?

Supramania Swami told me our efforts do not go to waste. Agathiyar said the last two years were not wasted when I thought it had gone to waste. Recently he said that just as the roots are not seen, the results of our efforts go unnoticeable at times as they are subtle and internal. In the material world, all our actions produce results that are tangible. But that is not the case with the spiritual world. The results of our actions are subtle. While a good deed in giving food immediately appeases the hunger of someone hungry or helping another relieves his pain and agony, the results of these deeds go beyond the physical. These deeds are credited to our account. Similarly results from spiritual practices though might not be immediate and obvious they work deep within us in bringing immense subtle changes at the cellular level.

Treading the path from Sariyai to Kriyai and Yogam to Gnanam, Ramalinga Adigal helps us reach out to Arutperunjothi or Effulgence and bring him within. Swami Saravanananda in this book, an English translation of Ramalinga Adigal’s "Aruperunjhoti Agaval" published by Ramalinga Mission, Madras, writes,

At whatever age the aspirant gains illumination or the effulgence enters in him or emanates from within, some remarkable changes take place in the body-frame. The Divine Light seems to change the very cell of the body, ...

The result is he says,... 

that they seem to function in the opposite direction. Consequently, the old body becomes middle aged, then to youth of eighteen years, to twelve years (Sudha deham or pure body), to eight years and finally five years (Pranava body). After five years the body grows to the size of the universe to become casual body or a body of gnosis (Gnana deham) which is the natural abode of the soul.

From this, we understand where we came from. The casual body or Gnana deham that is the abode of the Atma is the size of the universe. It encompasses and envelopes all of Prapanjam. The breath or Uyir takes the Pranava deham. The body comes to be constituted of the 96 tattvas. Just as three different astrologers had predicted the lifespan of Sri Raghavendra differently for which the saint explained that his mortal life was 76, his fame will come to be known after 300 years which came about after the film on him starring a famous star was made, and finally, he shall live 700 years in the subtle form reaching out to his devotees, in the Varaha Upanishad, there is a conversation between Sage Ribhu and Lord Narayanan translated by K. Narayanasvami Aiyar where Lord Narayanan says,

Some disputants hold that there are twenty-four Tattvas (principles) and some thirty-six, whilst others maintain that there are ninety-six. I shall relate them in their order. Listen with an attentive mind. 

Read further at http://www.advaita.it/library/varaha.htm

If the 5 elements had assembled together the Asudha deham forming the Pindam or embryo taking portions of these elements from both the parents in a specified ratio, the Nun Uyir as mentioned by Agathiyar apparent in all these elements breathes life into the fetus. Starting our life where the awareness of the Atma is lost and replaced with the awareness of the "I" the Siddhas come into our lives to bring about a reversal where we go back to becoming a child by nature and eventually return to the source. 

Children are regarded as divine as they exhibit the Pranava deham and Gnana deham. Many a child were identified as saints in their young and tender age as they exhibited the traits of a holy man. Agathiyar forewarned us that our grandchildren shall teach us lessons in life. It is happening. I am getting knocks and blows practically every day. If the Atma dictates them, as for us adults, the Atma goes into hiding behind a veil as our "I" comes to the forefront and steers the course henceforth. The past vasanas, desires, and karma came to the forefront too and change our destiny bringing on sufferings and misery, illness and death, obstacles and delays, and failures and disappointment as fated. The saints on the other hand though they carry a small portion of either karma, an ego, or other flaws that is vital to take on a human birth and a form, commit to the cause of the divine at a very young age, and are set free from all bondages and shackles.

Before the effulgence can come within, the physical body that is tainted by the numerous malas has to be cleansed and the impurities purged first. Before these changes in the physical body take place, the Divine Light or Arutperunjhothi has to come within. Hence no matter how much effort is placed in the spiritual field things are only possible with his grace. If man by his courage and determination can strive and achieve his desires and ambitions, hence charting his destiny, it's only with the grace of the divine can man come to him. His efforts minus the divine grace go nowhere. The Divine Light awakens the Atma and draws the veil aside. The Atma shows itself. The Atma then takes the lead, provided we surrender the "I". It takes over the wheels. The Atma is now captain of the ship and helps us stay clear of the rapids, whirlpool, rocks, bringing us to calm waters. As peace and calm settle in, the journey back home begins. 

How do we then bring the effulgence within? How do we gain their grace? A guru would be handy in these times. He will do the trick. If we are on a solo journey, fear not. It is possible with devotion. Devotion in this sense is not like going to a temple, raising and bringing our palms together, and vomiting our desires, wants, and wishes or problems and troubles, sufferings and misery, etc. Devotion in the true sense is yearning to reach him or desiring his company. Ramalinga Adigal is in tears when seeking the grace of the divine to come within. One should emulate him. 

நினைந்துநினைந் துணர்ந்துணர்ந்து நெகிழ்ந்துநெகிழ்ந் தன்பே
நிறைந்துநிறைந் தூற்றெழுங்கண்ணீரதனால் உடம்பு
நனைந்துநனைந் தருளமுதே நன்னிதியே ஞான
நடத்தரசே என்னுரிமை நாயகனே என்று
வனைந்துவனைந் தேத்துதும்நாம் வம்மின்உல கியலீர்

மரணமிலாப் பெருவாழ்வில் வாழ்ந்திடலாம் கண்டீர்
புனைந்துரையேன் பொய்புகலேன் சத்தியஞ்சொல் கின்றேன்
பொற்சபையில் சிற்சபையில் புகுந்தருணம் இதுவே.

See the full song at https://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T369/tm/maranamilaap_peruvaazvu

Marshall Govindan in his book "Babaji and the Eighteen Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition", 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications (Reg), 196 Mountain Road, P.O.Box 90, Eastman, Quebec, Canada, reproduced with permission via e-mail), details the format, nature, and extent of this devotion that was exemplified by Ramalinga Adigal. It explains the above song.

He (Ramalinga Adigal) sings that one has to think incessantly, until he feels and melts with love for God. In such a melting mood one bursts into tears and sings praise of god and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develops, the body as well as the soul became prepared for the descent of the grace, in the form of light.

I witnessed this take place in Malar as she sat with me and we spoke about Agathiyar and his lilas. I had left her to be with Agathiyar upon her arrival. I could hear her sing. When she came out of my prayer room, she shared the song that she sang to him. I was delighted for it was a portion of Nakkirar's "Vinayagar Thiruagaval" that has become a national anthem for us that is sung before the start of any prayer. It invokes Lord Vinayagar to grant space to be with one's guru. As she repeated the song before me this time she went into a state of joy and bliss. She bursts into tears singing the song. She cried out to Agathiyar. I was happy for her. She felt and melted with the love for Agathiyar. She reminded me of my days of worship in the past. I too would burst out in tears and joy. But I could not understand then. Those around me would give me a look not understanding what was happening. Only my family knew. They would just watch. The lyrics or lines of the songs would sink so deep and touch the Atma awakening it from its long slumber behind the veil. As we sing the songs of praises the Atma cannot ignore and continue to sleep further. It comes out of hibernation and draws the veil aside. As it awakes and nudges its way to the front our "I" is sent into hiding. We see the Atma that once took care of us as a child, for the very first time after long years of its hiding behind the veil and the "I". That is Atma Darisanam. The Atma moves to bring us to have Erai Darisanam. The Jeevatma unites with the Paramatma then. 

With a certain amount of concerted effort on our part, which Tavayogi says is needed just until we reach the Svadistana chakra, by his grace he steps in to continue his work of transforming our body. Our job is to plow the field, sow the seeds, irrigate the fields, provide sufficient manure, and wait for his grace and nature to do the rests. Just as the roots of the seed germinate and run deep much earlier before a new life springs that steadily emerges out of the soil growing into a plant and a strong tree that blossoms and fruits, we too shall grow tall. Then begins our work of harvesting, milling, making a dough out of it, cooking it, bringing it to the plate, and bringing it to the dining table. Our hard work ends with bringing the food into our mouth and chewing it, savoring and enjoying the fruits of our efforts. Thenceforth the rest of the process that includes digestion and absorption, the process of assimilation and excretion of whatever remnants of the food, are all nature's work, not needing our attention or interference from us till the day we bring harm on ourselves and damage to it through our harmful ways, habits and practice.

For one who seeks this union, he needs to care for his body, constantly scrutinize his thoughts and actions, and stay on the track of upholding good virtues. Originating as the Asudha deham, consuming concoctions and herbal preparations and adopting several yogic practices and techniques, and taking special care of the body, the Kalivu or impurities and toxins are removed. The body goes through a purification process. The 5 elements that constitute the physical body are cleansed to the core or cellular level.

Henceforth one has to continue maintaining a proper sattvic diet to preserve the purity within.  The veils fall away one at a time as we progress, releasing the body further from the shackles of its own limitations bringing on spiritual growth. A Sudha deham is achieved, void of all physical impurities. Coming this far is itself an achievement for man finds it a battle to break away from the senses that lure and rule him. He is indeed a turavi if he has come this far. He who has mastered and has control of his senses is indeed a mendicant. 

When the divine comes within,

The cells and thence the whole body begins to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever prospering body, is called the subtle body or the body of Omkar or Pranava body.

He has to put in sufficient spiritual practices, bringing an awareness of the divine working through them. From an article on the net, the author speaks of the inward journey beginning the very moment he becomes aware of the divine presence working through him. He then surrenders to the will of God, hence surrendering the sheath of his intellect or Vinjnanamaya Kosham. Once aware of the divine presence, "he has already begun the transformational process and surrendered the sheath of the intellect or Vinjnanamaya Kosham where the analytical or intellectual component of the being is fully informed by the divine light attributes, accumulating experiences and knowledge enlightened by the higher deeper aspects of self." 

As the intellect undergoes this transformation, the mental sheath or Manomaya Kosham, associated with the senses, is similarly transformed. Of course, this individual is fully aware of the divine as the prime mover. Since the ego has been given to the divine, every action related to the senses is observed and understood to be none other than that of the divine. This is what saint Nakkirar pleads of Lord Ganapathy too. Such a Buddha can enjoy all the senses without fear. For the great tantric who have attained this state, conventional rules are irrelevant. The guide, guru, saint, and sage understanding that all his actions henceforth are that willed by the divine, brings these actions to life without having the guilt of accumulating fresh karma and the need to take on another birth as a result. He is a "buddha" breaking all conventional rules. He becomes a Jivanmukta or one who is freed while living.

The individual has begun to be liberated, becoming literally a beacon of bliss-light. As the divine attributes of the Atma that manifest in the very subtle sheath of bliss or Anandamaya Kosham come to be known, a subtle transformation begins in the very subtle part of the being. He verily becomes a guide, a guru, and a saint. He moves from an ordinary man to become a saint. All his experiences and knowledge are then tailored to teach him the higher and deeper aspects of the Atma. The teachings that were focussed on gaining experience in life and knowledge for living in the physical world, shift to that of knowing the Atma and one's true purpose and mission. He becomes well informed and knowledgeable not through the normal means of attaining them but is informed by the divine attributes within him. 

As the divine light descends into the sheath of energy or Pranayama Kosham, the entity becomes a Siddha in the truest sense of the word. As defined in the Upanishads, a Siddha is one who has progressed from the exalted ‘state of freed while living’ or Jivanmukta to ‘supremely free with full power over death’  or Paramukta. This state is referred to in Siddhantha literature as Soruba Mukti or Soruba Samadhi. This Paramukta will rarely retain the transformed physical frame and when so, remains as an avatar. Ramalinga Adigal attained the state too before moving on.

If the journey begins with devotion that melts the heart, it ends with a similar melting of Udal, Uyir and Atma. Ramalinga Adigal sings in his Agaval,

725. தோலெலாங் குழைந்திடச் சூழ்நரம் பனைத்தும்
மேலெலாங் கட்டவை விட்டுவிட் டியங்கிட

726. என்பெலா நெக்குநெக் கியலிடை நெகிழ்ந்திட
மென்புடைத் தசையெலா மெய்யுறத் தளர்ந்திட

727. இரத்த மனைத்துமுள் ளிறுகிடச் சுக்கிலம்
உரத்திடை பந்தித் தொருதிர ளாயிட

728. மடலெலா மூளை மலர்ந்திட வமுதம்
உடலெலா மூற்றெடுத் தோடி நிரம்பிட

729. ஒண்ணுதல் வியர்த்திட வொளிமுக மலர்ந்திட
தண்ணிய வுயிர்ப்பினிற் சாந்தந் ததும்பிட

730. உண்ணகை தோற்றிட வுரோமம் பொடித்திடக்
கண்ணினீர் பெருகிக் கால்வழிந் தோடிட

731. வாய்துடித் தலறிட வளர்செவித் துணைகளிற்
கூயிசைப் பொறியெலாங் கும்மெனக் கொட்டிட

732. மெய்யெலாங் குளிர்ந்திட மென்மார் பசைந்திடக்
கையெலாங் குவிந்திடக் காலெலாஞ் சுலவிட

733. மனங்கனிந் துருகிட மதிநிறைந் தொளிர்ந்திட
இனம்பெறு சித்த மியைந்து களித்திட

734. அகங்கார மாங்காங் கதிகரிப் பமைந்திடச்
சகங்காண வுள்ளந் தழைத்து மலர்ந்திட

735. அறிவுரு வனைத்து மானந்த மாயிடப்
பொறியுறு மான்மதற் போதமும் போயிடத்

736. தத்துவ மனைத்துந் தாமொருங் கொழிந்திடச்
சத்துவ மொன்றே தனித்துநின் றோங்கிட

737. உலகெலாம் விடய முளவெலா மறைந்திட
அலகிலா வருளி னாசைமேற் பொங்கிட

738. என்னுளத் தெழுந்துயி ரெல்லா மலர்ந்திட
என்னுளத் தோங்கிய என்றனி யன்பே

We had a wonderful translation of the above verses made available at http://www.ramalinga.com (now defunct)

Describing in exquisite way the phases of the transformation of his body, Ramalinga says that dermis and epidermis have become extremely soft; all the nerves, muscles and tendons have slackened little by little; the bones, membranes and cartilages have become very flexible; the blood has coagulated; the semen has concentrated being solidified; the brain and all its parts have been opened like a bud. All over the body an Elixir flows; the face glistens; the respiration is smooth and refreshing; from the tear glands abundant tears sprout; the mouth is half-opened tremulous and the ears are filled of sweet melodies. The entire body is refreshed and all its visible parts flourish in ecstasy. The heart swells palpitating Love. The ego vanishes, as the emotional and mental defects. A tender, loving and compassionate quietude dominates the entire organism. The ardent desire to receive the divine Grace overflows. The Supreme Love fills the body, which is the temple of the divine Life. 

TO TOW THE LINE OR NOT

Among the many events, the AVM family carried out included feeding the unfortunate on the streets and the fortunate in temples, and passing food parcels to the homeless, and groceries too to the many who did have homes but were fighting to survive poverty. Once we decided to serve packed food at a small temple adjacent to some flats. We started distributing to those dwellers of the flats whom we had informed ahead as early as 5 in the evening. As devotees trickled in for the evening prayer we halted to give way for the Nitya puja at 7pm. The priest after the prayers told me that what we did was wrong. He said, "You should only feed them after the curtain is drawn aside for the puja for only then shall God see what you are doing." I was shocked beyond belief. I asked myself was God employed like us and worked certain hours of the day as in 9 to 5? What happens after these hours? Doesn't he exist? I kept my cool as it was their premises and we have to abide by the rules. But today something came over me and moved me to do what I did.

I broke a rule today. As my third grandchild was a month old today, we went to a nearby temple. It was an emotional reunion of sorts with the Gods and Goddesses at the temple as it has been a long time since I visited a temple. The wonderful songs by Sirgazhi Govindarajan that were played stirred the emotions further. These days I can hardly listen to any devotional songs without tearing. It is the same with some movies too. I had listened to these songs numerous times as I had them on cassettes those days but it never moved me then.

As we stood in line to receive the prasadham or sacred ash, my hands reached out for it. The priest stopped me from dipping my hand into the container. He told me to just receive the arati and he shall give me the ash. Something in me moved and I gave him a stare and went ahead and dipped my fingers into the container and applied the ash on my forehead. I walked away as he kept looking at me. What did happen back there? 

Receiving temple prasad is akin to the transmission of energies for people like us. If we were a good vessel we could directly perceive and receive these energies from the divine or the gurus. The saints received these energies from the Prapanjam as they were good receivers and could transfer them to others as they were equally good conductors. We should become good receivers to taste the bliss that is out there. It is not beyond our reach but it is just that we are not a good vessel to partake in the joy. The Siddhas help prepare us beginning with the physical body and its internals changing the Asudha Deham to Sudha Deham and later working on the Pranava Deham to bring it to the state of the Oli Deham. 

I did not know the subtle reasons for numerous rituals done at the temples until I took up the worship of the Siddhas and began these rituals in my home. For instance, the significance of bathing statues was to cool down mother earth and all the Atmas. I realized this truth as my body cooled each time we did libation or abhisegam for Agathiyar. Back then I did not understand. Now I see that we are connected - rock, water, plants, animals, people, gurus, and the gods.

Now I understand why Tavayogi in taking me to the temples went straight to the samadhi or shrine of the Siddhas and sat in meditation. He never enters the Mulastanam or main sanctum or visits the numerous shrines of accompanying deities. So as usual when we were at Agasthiyampalli he headed straight to Agathiyar's sannadhi and sat down to begin his meditation. The priest who seem to await our arrival and ushered us upon arrival told us to go round the temple grounds and pray at Lord Shiva's sanctum first. Tavayogi followed for once. When we returned and stood before Agathiyar I sat in the outer space, Tavayogi asks me to go into the inner sanctum of Agathiyar and sit. But as I knew my boundaries having been trained to respect the rules at the temples I sat on the trestle separating both spaces. Tavayogi threw me his shawl to sit on. That is when Agathiyar opened his left eye in his granite statue. Today I threw caution to the wind and broke the rule taking the sacred ash myself.

When I thought I had wasted two years sitting at home cut off from doing rituals and charity that we had become accustomed to Agathiyar said it did not go to waste. Later Mahin made me realize that I had dropped much including my hold on puja and charity and even dissolved the AVM family WhatsApp group in these two years. I then realized that it was not about accumulating goodies as in accumulating wealth and power in the material world but rather it was all about dropping our hold on things. Days ago when I lamented that nothing worked out Agathiyar told me not to think so. "நீ செய்த அனைத்தும் பயன் இல்லை என்று எண்ணி விடாதே" he said. He used the tree as a metaphor to illustrate the matter. But I did not understand even then. It needed Mahin to explain the wisdom behind his words. Mahin told me just as the roots appear first and grow into the soil before we see the twigs sprout and grow into branches, the results of the efforts we placed might not be visible initially but as Agathiyar said many subtle changes have already taken root in us. It is a matter of time that it becomes visible and obvious to us. It is a matter of time we see the flowers bloom and give out the scent. Supramania Swami too told me none of our efforts is wasted. Agathiyar also said that we shall need deep roots to support the numerous branches and give shade to those who come seeking its shade. I guess he was speaking about the need for the guru lineage to back up and speed up our evolvement. Hence he has asked me to go over to Kallar.

When I tell him it's a struggle going within with so many disturbances and obstructions he asks me "As it is meant for you so why is it a struggle?" I guess he meant that there should be no struggle as evolution is a birthright and it shall be achieved or attained if we work towards it. Each Atma that came forth from the Paramatma shall find its way back in good time. Meanwhile, we shall have to play several roles fulfilling the purpose taken, learning, and experiencing along the way.

THE EFFICACY OF PRAYERS

Temples have a significant role to play in bringing us to the path of virtue and devotion. The fear of God instilled in us as a kid keeps us from doing anything that might anger the gods. Hence we adopt and follow good values in our everyday lives throughout our lives. Connecting with an Ista Devata or a favorite deity brings us to remember and visit the deity often. Devotion and love towards the deity begin to whelm within. But it is not permitted to grow further as we have limited access to these temples as a devotee. There are restricted zones where we are not permitted to enter. We are not allowed to perform libation etc. Hence we watch from afar. The Siddhas broke this hold by paving the way for us to conduct similar pujas in their abodes and homes of others who are directed to perform them. I was one of them to start puja at home.

I was blessed to be called to the path of the Siddhas through my first Nadi reading. Henceforth started my journey of worship to the Siddhas. I had no idea who the Siddhas were and what they looked like. The first time the word Siddha was mentioned to me was by the late Dr.Krishnan back in 1996. Then the calling came to see the Nadi in 2002. Agathiyar revealed my past, present, and future. During the brief ritual and ceremony to thank the Siddhas for revealing by Nadi known as Nadikku Dhanam, I was given a booklet of the names of the Siddhas by the Nadi reader who initiated me into reciting along with him these names. Sivabalan in whose house the Nadi reader stayed passed me Agathiyar's painting. I began the same ritual once back home. The Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam came to my mind as I had seen Agathiyar's picture on their donation receipts when they collected funds on the streets to feed the poor, hungry, and unfortunate. Seeking to know further, I headed to the establishment in Dengkil. Anbarasan, Jayanthi, and Manivannan were very accommodative and briefed me on their activities and that of their parent body in Ongkarakudil. My wife and I began to frequent their premises, having lunch there, getting updates, and buying books and VCD's of talks by their patron. In one of their publications, I was drawn to a particular prayer. This was a prayer to Agathiyar asking all the Siddhas to bring us over to his abode in the Pothigai Hills. The prayer asked that Agathiyar accept us as his disciple and elevate us too.

அகத்தீசா உனது சீடர்களாகிய ஒன்பது கோடி பேரும் என்னை சூழ்ந்திருந்து நான் விரும்பியதெல்லாம் முடித்து வைப்பதோடு மட்டுமல்லாது உன்னுடைய மலையாகிய பொதிகைக்கு என்னை அழைத்துவர என்னை சீடனாக நீ ஏற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். நான் உய்வதற்கு அருள் புரிய வேண்டும். உனது அருள் பூரணமாக பெற்றல் வேண்டும்.

I began to adopt this prayer. I saw the efficacy of prayers beginning that day. I realized these prayers have the potential to deliver the asking. I saw its results soon. I was brought to Tavayogi who volunteered to take me to all the sacred abodes of the Siddhas in 2005. Tavayogi would point out to me that the Siddhas were ushering us, showering us with flower petals, and accompanying us. He would point out certain aromas that were in the air. I would look at him like a child with bewildered eyes, yet choosing to believe and move on. Today we realize the truth in his words since we have had these experiences too. I now realize that my daily prayer singing these verses had materialized in bringing me to my guru and having him take me in as his student, and leading me to the abodes of the Siddhas, where the Siddhas showed their presence and accompanied us.

Singing the line "வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி", from the song 

ஐயனே போற்றி போற்றி அருள்பெற்ற தேவே போற்றி

மெய்யனே போற்றி போற்றி மெய்சுடர் அணிந்தாய் போற்றி

கையனே போற்றி போற்றி காசினி முனிவா போற்றி

உய்யனே எனையாட் கொண்ட உந்தியில் உதிக்குந்தேவே

உந்தியிலுதிக்குந்தேவே ஒருபொருள் உகந்தாய் போற்றி

சிந்தையில் நினைந்த போதே திருநாட மிட்டாய் போற்றி

வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி

அந்தித்தேன் குருவே ஐயா அடியினைப் போற்றி போற்றி,

opened the gates to heaven and the saintly came in droves both at Kallar and AVM.

A year before my first Nadi reading Agathiyar had already started the ball rolling without revealing himself. I had stayed away from all forms of worship be it at home or the temples, stopped my yoga practices, and brought an end to all reading for some 13 years, after Lord Shiva in a dream told me to take a break as I had so many questions and doubts unanswered. Agathiyar had my nephew pass me Lord Vishnu's mantra and Lord Dhakshanamurthi's painting through a network of gurus without revealing that it was from him. I too was told not to question the source by my nephew who was instructed by his Paramaguru coming through a devotee back in 2001.

Beginning my worship to Lord Dhakshanamurthi brought me to meet my gurus as told to my nephew. The following year Agathiyar revealed himself as my guru in the Nadi reading. The year after he showed me to my first guru in physical form, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. Before meeting him at Tiruvannamalai Agathiyar "cleansed me" I suppose drenching me in tears at Lord Dhakshanamurthi's sannadhi at Tiruvanaikaval temple. As the priest from Uttamar temple who volunteered to bring us there, the local priest in his nineties whom he called over to perform the arathi, the caretaker of the temple, my driver, and I gathered at his sannadhi I broke down. I got down on the floor crying for no reason. Nobody stopped me from crying. In fact, the priest asked that I be left to cry. Today I have come to understand that our Atmas had connected.

The following year in 2005 Agathiyar showed me to Tavayogi who was visiting Malaysia. Coming under his tutelage, my family and I visited him in India in 2013. Prior to arriving at his ashram Agathiyar showered his energy again at Lord Dhakshanamurthi's sannadhi at Tiruvanaikaval temple, followed by gifting me Lord Murugan's darshan. As my family, Jnana Jothiamma, Dr. Ram and I assembled at his sannadhi, I hit the floor crying my heart out again. Jnana Jhotiamma tried to pacify me. A young priest came along in a timely manner and opened the grilled gate to the sannadhi and went about casually performing the arathi. Jnana Jhotiamma prompted me to leave some money on his tray as he finished showing the arati or camphor flame. As I walked up to him, he suddenly asked me "Did you see?" "பார்த்தாயா?" Immediately my glance went to Lord Dhakshanamurthi and back to the priest. I saw the priest take the posture of Lord Murugan in the form of Lord Dhandapani of Palani. I fell at his feet immediately and began to cry out again. As I rose I realized the priest had stepped aside. Lord Murugan had stood before me.

On my third visit in 2016, I was wondering what he was going to show us this time around since I was with the AVM family then. We all took a seat and Bala began to lead us with the Siddhar Potri or recitation of the names of the Siddhas. A few minutes into chanting the names, an elderly priest, looking small and fragile came along in a timely manner and opened the grilled gate to the sannadhi, and went about casually performing the arathi. It was as if history was repeating itself. I signaled to Bala trying to tell him that it was happening again. Seeing my signal Bala stopped chanting momentarily.  The priest turned around and asked him to continue. He stood aside and listened intently to our recitation of the names of the Siddhas. As if he knew that the potri was coming to an end he shows the arathi again. He blesses us before leaving. The priest had no reason to be there but he turned up! I was mesmerized and in a state of bliss at seeing this miracle happen again. So were the children. 

Sitting at Lord Dhakshanamurthi's sannadhi at the Arulmigu Sri Mayuranathaswami Temple, Mayiladuthurai (Mayavaram) the AVM family began lighting the lamps and reciting the Siddhar Potri. This was one spot so energized that we all could feel the Siddhas presence. The floor was shaking under me and so was my body. I was rooted to the ground. We just could not move away from the spot and continued sitting in “their” presence for a very long time, imbibing the energy radiated. 

Moving on to the Tanjai Big temple, I spent some time at Lord Dhakshanamurthi's sannadhi before the others joined. I felt the Pranavam AUM resonate within these granite walls as I recited it compared to my earlier visit. I guess I was not receptive to these energies on my earlier visit in 2003. 

Worshipping the painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthi passed on by my nephew had started a series of divine events wherever he stood in the temples we visited. This I began to realize only now as I began to see a pattern take shape.

As I continued with my home puja to the Siddhas I looked for more songs to include in my puja. That is when I came across Saint Nakkirar's "Vinayagar Thiruagaval". I adopted a paragraph from this long song to include in my daily prayers. In this portion of the song, Nakkirar seeks the grace of Lord Ganapathy asking to create the avenue and a special moment to be with the Guru, a moment of sitting in silence with the Guru, merging in thought with him, asking that even the thought of the guru as being separate be dropped, and become identified with the Guru, to be one with the Guru. Nakkirar's prayer became my prayer too since that day. It has become the prayer of many who frequented AVM too. 

மோனா ஞான முழுதும் அளித்து

சிற்பரிப் பூரண சிவத்தைக் காண

நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து

குருவுஞ் சீடனுங் கூடிக் கலந்து

இருவரும் ஒரு தனியிடந் தனிற் சேர்ந்து

தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்

ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து

ஈசனிைணயடியிருத்தி

மனத்தே நீயே நானாய்

நானே நீயாய்க்

காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணா்ந்து

எல்லாமுன் செயலென்ேற உணர

நல்லா உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்

காரண குருவே கற்பகத் களிேற

வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி

This was the opening song in our puja at AVM henceforth. Singing this song for years now we see it has born fruit. Agathiyar has come to sit at AVM as Lord Dhakshanamurthi conferring the Gnanam in silence. He is slowly bringing us face to face with the source, the Paripurana Sivam that is complete in itself. He has us read up on the 96 tattvas, and understand the Atma. He has us drop our individual aspirations, ambitions, wishes, and desires and surrender the Self and give in to the divine's desires. The guru and student get to sit in a lone space, the Para Veli, at AVM, that has come to be known as Gnana Kottam, locked in blissful knowledge. As we surrender to the Holy Feet of Siva, in these silent moments with the Silent Guru, Lord Dhakshanamurthi passes on the Divine Wisdom in silence. We have come to understand that He is us and we are Him and that the body is just but a sandcastle that is washed away by the next tide that comes in. Like Nakkirar we invoked Lord Ganapathy to bring us to the realization that all is His doing. We plead to him to bring forth the yearning for his Grace in us, as it does not come on its own from what we understand from Manickavasagar who sang that it is only with his grace that we get to worship His Holy Feet. This song that we adopted and sang had materialized into a form and became a reality.

Having taken and adopted the numerous songs of saints and Siddhas in our prayer and having seen its results, we were given the rare opportunity to pen the lyrics for an audio Cd released jointly by Raagawave Production titled "Agathiyar Geetham" in honor of Agathiyar, an idea mooted by our guru Tavayogi and taken up by the producer of the album Gowri Arumugam. We took inspiration for the lyrics from the many Siddha songs and biographies of Agathiyar, the teachings or upadesam from our gurus, and our own experiences walking and living the path. The song "Ariya Payanam" beautifully translates our journey into words.

பாராட்டு பாடல் (அறியா பயணம்) 

அனு பல்லவி 

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே 

நாம் இங்கே 

அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே 

மௌன ஞானம் நீயும் அளிக்க 

கருணை விழி நீ திறக்க 

என்ன தவமோ என்ன வரமோ 

உனது பதம் சரண் அடைய 

ஈசா அகத்தீசா தரிசனம் நீ தந்தாய் 

பல்லவி 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட 

போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய 

அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே 

தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட 

தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக 

தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற 

ஒளியாய் மாறினோம் 

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே 

நாம் இங்கே 

அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே 

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே 

நாம் இங்கே 

அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே 

சரணம் 1 

குரு நான் என்று அறிமுகம் செய்தவர் 

ஊழ்வினையை அறிய செய்தாய் 

யாகம் அதில் சுடர் ஒளியாய் 

வினையாவும் நீயே ஏற்றாய் 

ஞானம் அது வழங்கிட வந்தவர் 

ஞான கோட்டம் வந்தமர்ந்தாய் 

அன்னம் இட அமுத சுரபியாய் 

பசியாவும் தீர்த்தாய் 

இவ் வாழ்வின் பயன் கண்டோம் 

இனி ஏது துயரம் அப்பா 

உந்தன் நாமம் இங்கு சொல்ல சொல்ல 

மனம் சாந்தம் நிரம்பி இங்கு வழியுதே 

அட உன்மேலே ஆசை அப்பா 

என் மெய் எல்லாம் குளிர்ந்ததப்பா 

மதி நிறைந்து ஒளிர்ந்ததப்பா 

நீயே பரமானந்தம் 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட 

போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய 

அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே 

தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட 

தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக 

தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற 

ஒளியாய் மாறினோம் 

சரணம் 2 

ஓர் மகனாய் உன்னிடம் வந்தேன் 

சாலோக்கிய நிலை அறிந்தேன் 

சரியை பின் கிரியை உணர்ந்தேன் 

சாமீப்பியமாக நின்றாய் 

யோகத்தால் அமுதம் பரவிட 

சாரூப்பிய படி அடைந்தேன் 

ஞானத்தின் கதவு திறந்திட இனி 

சாயுச்சியம் எந்நாளோ 

இந்நிலையை நான் அடைய 

சற்குருவாய் வந்தாய் அப்பா 

உன்தன் அழகை இங்கு ரசிக்க ரசிக்க 

மனம் பரவசமாகி மகிழுதே 

அட உன்மேலே ஆசை அப்பா 

என் மெய் எல்லாம் குளிர்ந்ததப்பா 

மதி நிறைந்து ஒளிர்ந்ததப்பா 

நீயே பரமானந்தம் 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட 

போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய 

அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே 

தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட 

தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக 

தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற 

ஒளியாய் மாறினோம் 

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே 

நாம் இங்கே 

அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே 

மௌன ஞானம் நீயும் அளிக்க 

கருணை விழி நீ திறக்க 

என்ன தவமோ என்ன வரமோ 

உனது பதம் சரண் அடைய 

ஈசா அகத்தீசா தரிசனம் நீ தந்தாய் 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட 

போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக 

போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய 

அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே 

தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட 

தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக 

தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற 

ஒளியாய் மாறினோம்

The song goes as follows,

We started on an unchartered adventure that promised the state of immortality,

You opened your eyes to gift us Mouna Gnanam or Gnanam in silence, 

Was it because of our Tapas or was it your Grace or was it that we had surrendered that all this was possible? 

Esa (Lord Dhakshanamurthi) Agatheesa you gave us your darshan,

Praises to you brought deliverance from sufferings,

Praises to you brought deliverance from illnesses,

Praises to you brought deliverance from miseries,

Grant your grace My Guru,

Thanthana Thanthana come as a shield,

Thanthana Thanthana draw the veil (of ignorance),

Thanthana Thanthana we shall receive Gnanam (Divine Wisdom),

And shall become Oli (Light),

You introduced yourself as our guru,

You made us aware of karma,

You came as the Fire of Sacrifice (Yagam),

And engulfed all our karma,

You came to grant us Gnanam,

And settled at Gnana Kottam,

You started Amudha Surabhi, 

To feed the hungry,

We have seen the purpose of this life,

There shall be no further worries,

In speaking your name,

Peace begets us and overflows,

We are madly in love with you,

My body chills,

My brain is enlightened,

You are Paramanantham,

I came as a son to you, thence

I learned to live in your world (Salokyam),

When I took up Sariyai and Kriyai,

You stood beside me (Sameepyam),

In coming to Yoga you filled us with ambrosia,

We took your form (Saaroopyam),

With the opening of the door to Gnanam, 

When shall we attain oneness with you (Saayuchyam)?

You were the reason for me to attain these states,

As I adore your beauty, 

I am filled with joy and bliss.

This song describes the four stages we traveled to arrive at our destination. Agathiyar slowly weaned us out of Sariyai and Kriyai and brought us to Yogam and Gnanam.

The songs gifted by the saints are not mere songs but potent mantras that can bring about what is asked for. We are grateful to them for leaving behind these treasures and not copyrighting them or limiting their usage. Imagine if the saints and sages had done so we would not have access to use and sing these songs and would have lost our way back to God's kingdom.

REASSESSING OUR THOUGHTS & WISHES.

Agathiyar has asked me to go fulfill my wish to go over to Kallar. It came as a surprise as I was contemplating making a trip to India once India opens its borders. After the thought arose and I had brooded over it mentioning it to my wife, Mahin, and Suren and checking out the new requirements if there were any in applying for the visa in view of the pandemic and checking if there were any flights going over, Agathiyar gave the green light. But could this be another test of my faith in him?

When he asked me to build him a temple in my first Nadi reading in 2002, I was elated at having been chosen to carry out such a noble thing. Deciding that it would not be possible to build a new temple at that time, I looked towards existing temples to build a small shrine and have him placed. But none of the temple committees welcomed him, citing their own plans to erect or install deities of their choices in the available spaces. I dropped the idea. Meanwhile, when I got to meet Supramania Swami the following year in 2003 and Tavayogi in 2005 I assisted in fulfilling their desires to build a temple/ashram. If the divine intervened and put a stop to Supramania Swami's 40-year-old desire to build a temple for Lord Murugan on a piece of land that we purchased adjacent to his guru's Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi, Agathiyar saw through Tavayogi's dream of building Agathiyar's temple and ashram in 2016. Moving on to 2018, Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading came to ask for a temple for himself. Seeing that I did not move he sent Agathiyar to coax me into it coming through a devotee. Seeing my reluctance, Agathiyar told me he shall do it. It was fine with me. After the 18 months when I wondered why it did not take place, Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that he had tested me. 

After coming to know my gurus in physical form, I dropped all my searches and visits even when prompted by Agathiyar. He had mentioned several places and people whom I should visit and get their blessings. He told me to go over to Ongakarakudil and get Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's blessing that I did not receive back then in 2003. He told me to go over to Yercaud caves, go meet Dharmalinga Swamigal in the Kolli hills, get Kundrakudi Adigal's blessings and go over to Chidambaram too. He told me to come over to his Pothigai peak. I never went. I told Agathiyar to show me or gift me whatever he had intended and planned in these places right here within the four walls of my home.

So when Agathiyar says, "உன் ஆசைக்கு ஏற்ப ஒரு முறை கல்லார்க்கு வாசம் செய்து வா", I understand that he is giving in to my thought. As this thought that has become a wish but has not become a desire, it hasn't become a lifelong desire, it hasn't become a yearning, and it hasn't become a vasana yet, I chose to drop it too and hold on to my previous principles. I fear that it could be a test too. 

On another note, when I was confused and frustrated not knowing what was soul and spirit and if both were the same or different entities Agathiyar came with the answer through a memo dictated to Mahin. He clarified that they were different and went on to explain about the Udal, Uyir, and Atma. I chose to retain the terms in Tamil for I do not wish to complicate or confuse myself and others further as at times we can never find a suitable substitute in English for some Tamil words. Just as we are used to reading and hearing people say and imply that the soul and spirit are one and we tend to use them interchangeably, now I had another similar confusion and doubt as to how do we distinguish the difference between destiny and fate or if they were one. I got an insight into it as I sat before him. 

I got to understand that we can pick our destiny. In life we have parallel paths running alongside. It is like the many cores in a cable. As in the multicore cable, there are a group of bare wires twisted or laid together, our lives too are composited of numerous pathways that bring on numerous possibilities. Here is where we have free will to choose which path and direction to take. When faced with numerous options, the "I" in us determines the course of action. We can steer on course on a particular yacht and decide to step onto another vessel that comes by at any time.  We could take a break too and continue the journey. This is destiny. The "I" creates fresh karma. Thenceforth we are responsible for our actions and shall either pay dearly for our bad karma or reap the benefits of our good actions later or in another life. 

If we surrender our destiny to the Siddhas as Bharathi surrendered to Goddess Ma, they lead us on a particular and purposeful path. They reveal our true purpose in coming here. 

Then there is fate. This overrides our journey. The past karma steps in, interferes, modifies, pauses, or halts totally, changing our lives course. However much we try the door doesn't budge. The boulder doesn't move. Fate blocks our thinking, things slip our minds and make us forget, hence taking its course. It makes us lose our guard and we get caught in something. Fate surprises us giving us a blow. These are a result of our past actions and karma. Fate drives our "I" to think and perform likewise. 

If Destiny is the blueprint that we draw up, Fate shapes us by giving knocks. Fate at other times interferes with our destiny, hijacking it or derailing it. It is like a game of snake and ladder. We would want the dice to land on a particular spot, but after throwing it the dice seems to have a mind of its own. That is fate. 

But if we have the Siddhas by our side they make sure we recover fast or that its impact or effect is minute. The Siddhas might move the dice to fall on our desired spot. The Siddhas though very compassionate can seem to desert us at times too. If even after numerous reminders one does not heed their words or warnings then they step aside and let fate deal a blow as charted which at times might be fatal.

Prior to my daughter's wedding, I told the priest, who himself looked like Agathiyar, that I did not match the horoscopes of my daughter and son-in-law to see if they were compatible as they had chosen each other. The priests told me three things. First, if the couple had liked each other there was no need to see the horoscopes, that itself was mana porutam or compatibility of two hearts. Two, when two people come together in marriage it is the work of their combined karma or a karmic connection and it is fated. Finally, he told me to leave it to Erai to lead their lives. His words brought me assurance. Today they have given me three beautiful and wonderful grandchildren with whom I spend my retirement.

I too went with the flow when my sister took the initiative to see me married. After numerous meetings with the bride and parent sessions, my guess is 15, the girls turned me down even when the horoscope matched. I used to jokingly say to others and tell them that I was a clone of the lead character in the movie "Dhanusu Raasi Neyargal". I had a good laugh watching that movie and enjoyed it for I was like him. It was as if I was looking at myself, looking into a mirror. Finally, I found my life partner and wife in a girl I knew, whose maternal family and my family grew up together in the same house. This I would say is fate.  

I guess loving someone is destiny. But when it doesn't work out and we are married to another that is fate. Match-making too should then imply it's fated. Correct me if I am wrong.

I had met a guru when he was visiting Malaysia in 2005. I heard his talk and stood in line to get his blessings. I was so impressed by him that I went back to see him another day before he flew back to India. That was about the same time I came to meet Tavayogi too. But today I don't recognize him anymore. He has changed drastically. People have come to despise him. Time does that to people I guess. I am glad I chose Tavayogi instead of him. Tavayogi was taintless. Forget about the little flaws and the mistakes they make for if it wasn't for these they would not be around with us. It is these weaknesses that tie down the gurus to the earth. To take a physical form everyone has to have flaws and weaknesses. Only the perfected ones called Siddhas never need to adorn this sheet of cover called a body. They move around in the subtle or shuksma form. If I had followed "my" destiny, if I had followed the "I" in me I would have run to the former again and again. But fate decided otherwise. Agathiyar had me stay put with Tavayogi. The Siddhas had interfered and guided my thoughts and actions. I am grateful to them.

Would I be wrong in making all the above assessments? Even if I try to be humble and say that they are using me as a tool there is an inch of ego here. The "I" still exists. But when I say they are doing it I am relieved of the responsibility and karma and right and wrong. When we consider him and us different it only implies that the "I" is still in existence as we see us as different entities. The "I" drops only when we see him as us and us as him. Then we begin to see him in all of Prapanjam.

During our regular conversations over the phone, Mahin asked where is the record of our past karma stored and if it was in one of the many bodies that cover us? I remembered reading that it was stored in the Akashic library "somewhere up there". I also came to read somewhere that it is retained in the last bit of tiny bone, the coccyx that is at the terminal end of the spine. The bone doesn't burn when cremated I was told. Last night as I stood before my bookshelf and pondered what book to read, I picked up P.Kamalakkannan's "Kunangkudiyaarin Gnana Vazhi", published by Vanathi Pathipakkam, Chennai, 1993. Here he refers to the Quran and Agathiyar's verses. 

ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனும் செய்கின்ற நல்வினை தீவினை யாவும் இரு கண்ணியமான எழுத்தாளர்களால் கவனிக்கப்பட்டு ஒரு புத்தகத்தில் பதிவு செய்யப்படுவதாகவும் அப்புத்தகம் ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனின் கழுத்தில் மாட்டப்பட்டிருப்பதாகவும் இறை மறையாம் திருமறை கூறுகின்றது. அது எவ்வாறு மாட்டப்பட்டுள்ளது என்று அகத்தியர் விளக்கம் கூறுகிறார். திருமறை கழுத்து என்று கூறியதை அகத்தியர் தெளிவாகக் கழுத்தின் உட்பகுதியில் அமைந்துள்ள அண்ணாக்கு என்று கூறியுள்ளார். ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனின் அண்ணாக்கிலும் காலப் பெட்டகம் இருக்கிறது. அவன் செய்யும் நல்வினை தீவினை யாவும் உடனுக்குடன் அங்கே பதிவாகின்றன. இதற்கு விதி என்று பெயர் என்ற உண்மை அகத்தியர் வாக்கால் வெளிப்படக் காண்கின்றோம்.

Each good and bad deed is watched and noted and recorded by "two accountants" in a book. This is fate. This book is hung around their necks according to the Quran. Agathiyar clarifies this as the Uvula. Agathiyar yesterday told us the same too.  Touching the throat he said, "இங்கு அடங்கி இருப்பது கர்மா."

If Agathiyar had us brush up on our learning, beginning with the 96 tattvas, then he had us question ourselves on the Atma and gave us the answer later, now as we are trying to comprehend destiny and fate, it is slowly being downloaded just like a picture slowly appears pixel by pixel from top to down on older computers. I am still trying to get the bigger picture of life. We haven't dwelled on the 5 Kosas or bodies as yet. Neither have we gone into the workings of the chakras. There is so much to learn. It is comforting to see that he gives support to all our endeavors. He told me yesterday, "நீ செய்து வரும் ஆராச்சியை தொடர்ந்து செய். முடிவில் நான் வந்து கூறுகிறான். The beauty in Agathiyar which Mahin and I agree to is that he does not spoonfeed us. He leaves us to read, hear, learn, and experience and also to think, ponder, research, and come to an opinion first before he comes in to correct and fine-tune the understanding.

I have been watching some good Tamil movies lately. The Tamil cinema has come a long way. There are many movies with good story content these days. There are teachings that I learned from the stories told. Watching "Vinodhaya Sitham" we could relate to it for it brought us awareness of time and Kala lurking around the corner. "Katrin Mozhi" taught me to give an ear to others' problems and listen. It was a lesson for me to keep my door open. I saw myself reflected in the lead role, watching "Dhanusu Raasi Neyargal" and had a good laugh. I was a fan of the stars, both the movie stars and the stars in the constellation, back then. "Thalaivi" and "Mahanati" showed the compassionate side, that we did not know existed, of real-life people whom we followed on the silver screen. The other was "Oh Manapenne" which taught about the need to be responsible and punctual. "Jai Bhim" showed us the dark side of the authorities as in பயிரை மேய்ந்த வேலி. "Sarpatta Parambarai" spoke about the need for discipline and practice to excel and see-through one's dream. Last night I saw "Kamali from Nadukkaveri". It carried the story of a student's determination to excel in her studies. Though she joined the college to meet a guy out of puppy love, later she grew up to make some wise choices. The retired Professor stood out for his contribution in couching her for a start which led to him couching the rest of the students in the village. Here we understand that a teacher's work is never done. Here we get to see the guru-disciple relationship too. Another movie that showcased the guru-disciple relationship was "Sarvam Thaala Mayam". In "Maanagaram" we see a series of unfortunate events and strangers come together. There are several twists in their lives and the plot that keeps you rooted to the chair. We see karma enact itself as it spins a web.

I had a dream too - to become a film director. I wanted to be an artist too. But times were not favorable in the seventies with a bleak future for both fields in Malaysia then. I dropped the former idea but continued to draw and paint to satisfy myself. When Tavayogi came into my life besides drawing his portrait that adorns the masthead of this blog, I picked up the camera and the tools and began to document our journey together on video. He became my superstar. When I told him that, he revealed that he had produced two movies with Karthik Muthuraman as the lead before he took up turavaram or became a mendicant. He said he came in a cameo appearance as a district officer in one of these movies. Though I would love to see him on the screen, I can't quite remember the titles of these movies. My late father used to run a theatre in India. Now my second daughter is taking up Media Communication in a local university. I guess the dream runs in the family.