AVM'S JOURNEY

Looking back now it has been a long journey for us at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). Agathiyar called me to his path through my very first Nadi reading in 2002 and made arrangements for me to leave for India the following year to carry out the remedies that he stipulated in the reading. Providence, fate and destiny came together and had me meet my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai during my maiden trip to India that year. Three years later he sent me to a visiting guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. He took me in too. My official journey on the path of the Siddhas began with Tavayogi's entry. He initiated me and my wife. He started me performing the homa while Agathiyar who came to us as a bronze statue started me conduct the ritual of libation. Tavayogi took me to numerous Siddha spots in India and he introduced me to do charity - feeding the unfortunate.

Armed with both tools, I began to walk the path with their guidance. Soon Agathiyar sent Bala Chandran through his Nadi reading to AVM. Bala brought with him his friends and family. The AVM family expanded further with many more sincere seekers coming by and staying back while many more left to never return. Those wonderful souls who stayed back brought honor and greatness to the AVM household. Many from other countries too asked to join us. Today the Siddhas have conferred the name Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM) in recognition of our contributions towards the community and society. Although both my gurus are not physically around we are aware of their presence among us. So are Agathiyar and the Siddhas with us.

Let us step back and watch the years roll by. We see the kids grow up together while the adults have aged too. Many new faces have joined us. We have had many new cute chubby child additions to the AVM family too. How time flies!

CROSSING THE RIVER

Over the years we have come to realize that no amount of narration will bring on the experience one has had. The seeker needs to get on the ground, walk the path, tread the rough terrain, sail through the rapids, wet his feet, fall into the mud, and learn to look out and avoid the potholes. 

Following Tavayogi to the numerous Siddha abodes and temples, that was initiated by Agathiyar in my Nadi reading, I had absolutely no fear then. Neither did I have any care in the world. I realized now that the reason was that I had no possession then to be worried about. I had no home to lock up and leave or to return to. I had no dependant that I needed to stop to care for. I had just me. We tracked the Kuttralam jungles and slept in its caves, we hiked the boulders and entered the Uthiyur caves, not knowing what was in store for us. He stepped into cave openings and narrow samadhis not fearing if there were reptiles and animals lurking in the dark. He walked as if one who was possessed, hardly turning back to see if I was following. I had to hasten my steps to keep up with him. Occasionally he would turn back to point out to me that there was the aroma of sandalwood, sacred ash, and benzoin in the air, all indicating the presence of the Siddhas or tell me that the Siddhas were showering flower petals on us, ushering us to their kingdom in the wilderness. We never lost our way, although Tavayogi told me it had been some 10 years since he had been to certain spots.

Rather than have me sit with him and listen to his talks, lectures or theory, he preferred to get me soiled and wet, showing me the practical way that the Siddhas had pursued before. If it was the theory that he had revealed, I would have forgotten them through the years but since he walked with me the practical path, I am able to recall and share the experiences even after many years.

Although they have yet to bring us to the other world or their plane, there had been numerous occasions where the divine has crossed the borders and stepped into ours. On arrival at the famed Tiruvanaikaval temple grounds, I hastened my strides, taking large steps, walking ahead of Jnana Jhotiamma and my family, in a similar frenzy that Tavayogi had when he took me places. Looking for Lord Dhakshanamurthy's sannadhi that had churned the ocean in me making me weep for hours during my first visit some 10 years earlier, finally when I located him, the gates to the dam burst again and I found myself on the ground wailing aloud and kicking my legs. I could feel Jnana Jhotiamma caressing my soles and comforting me as a mother would. Finally when I came out of that state and took a seat at the spot, she told me to give some tips to the priest in attendance. Only then did I realize that there was a young, fair and handsome priest waiting on us at the sannadhi. I took out some Indian currencies from my wallet and walked up to him to place them on the tray that he held in his hands. That is when he whispered, "Did you see?" Immediately my vision went to that of Lord Dhakshanamurthy and back to him. At that split second, I saw Lord Muruga in the priest. He had wrapped a green towel around his waist and stood in the pose of his that we are all too familiar with. I dropped to the ground crying out aloud "Muruga" and began to weep torrentially again. Soon I picked myself up and we all began to move away. The priest was nowhere in sight.

What surprised me was that Lord Muruga chose to give his darshan not at any of his many abodes I have visited but at the abode of Lord Siva at Tiruvanaikkaval, not even at his sannadhi there but specifically at Lord Dhakshanamurthy's sannadhi. This reminds me of the time when he came to Kallar ashram as a youngster in shirt and pants, lamenting about the utter nonsense and state of affairs at several of the Murugan temples that he had been to, uttering things that made no sense amidst talk about these temples. This made Tavayogi sit up straight and take notice of the kid. Once Tavayogi realized that it was Lord Murugan who had come to his ashram, the kid gestured him, Mataji and my brother's family who were visiting into the inner sanctum of the old Kallar Ashram and blessed them by applying the sacred ash before leaving the way he came.

We have learned from experience and our mistakes. We have rectified our approach and the means. Our experience became knowledge to others. Just as the findings and the discoveries of the scientists have created a great impact on our thinking and lifestyles so have the Siddhas dwelt in the study of the body, soul, and spirit, linking it with its source and its creator, have laid out very simple means and ways to attain the state of Erai. What they wish is for us to follow in their footsteps. Not that they want us to leave the family, the community or the society to turn towards a life of solitude but live with the society and take on their teachings.

If earlier we at ATM immediately ask those who brought up their problems to us to see the Nadi, today taking things a little further from what we were taught by Tavayogi, rather than recommend seekers to a Nadi reading on the onset, we send them to do charity. We get them to find out about Agathiyar, the Siddhas and their Nadi first. Only then can they appreciate what is been said in the Nadi. Only then will they understand that a holy man or Muni was addressing them through the Nadi. Otherwise, they end up thinking the reader was cooking up stories, fabricating them from the pieces of information he has gathered from questioning us. They only would see the Siddhas as an astrologer, soothsayer or shaman dishing out remedies, good luck charms, mantras, and yantras, etc.

I do not know where I stand on the rung of the spiritual ladder but I have been started on a journey initiated by Agathiyar that I know nothing about. I just take the lead shown from time to time either through the external forms of communication by the Siddhas like the Nadi and through the spoken word or the unspoken word that guides from within. Along the way they give us assurances that all is well, that we have not erred or deviated. They tell us that it is not a hallucination or something of our doing but all theirs. Their constant guidance keeps the mill spinning, energizing us, boosting us and motivating us to keep walking. 

Agathiyar gives assurances that we are on the right track when we see the many compilations of Siddhas hymns and songs that we gathered and used in our home prayers have been adopted in temples and the homes of Agathiyar devotees and where prayers are conducted for the Siddhas. Agathiyar gives us assurances that what is being written in these pages are true perspectives that are based on the experiences of a devotee of his, that Agathiyar personally oversees. As Ramalinga Adigal in his Arutpa says that the words spoken are not his but that of the divine, Agathiyar has time again assured me that these written words are only his and not to dwell in confusion as to whose thoughts they are.

I am humbled by the grace of Agathiyar in working through me and the rest at ATM, carrying out his dictates from time to time. As a devotee of Agathiyar shared a dream she had after Tavayogi passed away, where Tavayogi with several others clad in white, was seated in a boat that was oared by Lord Shiva himself, traveling across the waters towards the other bank where there was a hill and a hype of activities with Siddhas, Rishis, Munis and saints going about their daily chores, chanting, conducting prayers and rituals, lighting sacrificial fires etc, we too have boarded a vessel and taken a seat. The divine is tending to the oars and is doing the navigation. We are enjoying the view, taking in the air and are very much at peace. Thank you very much Agatheesa for all you have given us.

Aum Agatheesaya Namaha.

TAVAYOGI

He did not have a following. 

He did not promise wonders.

He did not ask anything for himself.

He did not initiate until Agathiyar initiated it.

He had only one dream - to build a temple for Agathiyar and preach about the Siddhas. Both of these were fulfilled.

Come 3rd July it will be a year now since Tavayogi Thangarasan passed away. He was laid in samadhi in the grounds of his new Kallar ashram. Work on erecting a granite enclosure above the samadhi is on the way and scheduled to be completed in time for the Annual Agathiyar Jayanthi and Guru Puja this year.

FINDING OUR WAY BACK HOME

Ruzbeh Bharucha who met Bapuji (the reclusive Sage from Ahmedabad), shares Bapuji's revelation on the means to bring us home, by first explaining how we came here and showing us the way back home at https://www.speakingtree.in/allslides/the-ether-element-divine-silence.

One must understand that when an individual soul moves forth from The Divine Source, the individual soul is first filled or made up of only one element which is the element of Divinity or Prime Ether. 

.. thus the invisible element of Space or Ether, is the first Element that was created by The Boss Man and thus is the closest to represent His or Her Form and Individuality and thus Divine Ether is considered to be the closest to Godhood, which an individual, in the body or soul, can ever get to.

Initially, how were the Elements created? They were created because of Sañkalps (intentions and desires) which had begun to germinate. As Sañkalps started, first came Paṛam Ākash or Divine Ether from which came Paṛam Vāyu or Divine Wind or Air from which came Paṛam Agni or Divine Fire. (For the record, now we have just Ether, Air, Fire, being a part of the five-elemental world, ‘Divine’ or Paṛam, is no longer present in the Elements.)

Water and Fire are both in the Air Element which in turn is present in the Element of Ether or Space. Mother Earth is the combination of All Elements. So then gradually as all elements came into being, the Ātmās began to multiply. What Bapuji wanted to convey was that as souls began to multiply, intentions or desires within them began to grow and slowly the Divine Elements began to get weaker as individual desires began to take control over the soul and as individual desires grew the Divine power started to dwindle and from desires came the need to possess and through the desire to possess everything went wrong.

First, it starts with the Divine Elements which manifest Themselves as Subtle Elements which then manifest as Gross Elements. For instance, first comes the thought, which gives rise to intent or feelings or desires, which gets converted into effort, which turns into one's attitude, which comes out into action, which then leads to a pattern of habit and eventually that becomes one's personality.

Now we cannot change the Five Elements in the Cosmos. What we can do is strengthen the one element, which fortunately is the most pivotal element, the element of Ether, Space, Void, Silence...The Element of Divinity.

Once you are in tune with Divine Silence, all knowledge, power, radiance, goodness, the very essence of Oneness begins to fill the individual and it is through Divine Silence that the Masters know the past, present and the future. "This happens once and only comes through The One. The divinity of the Ultimate Father and Mother comes through the way S(H)e imparts Knowledge. S(H)e gives us the Knowledge of the New World. We have come from Amar Lok or from immortality to Mrutyu Lok, which is the land of death. How was the world created? Where are the Deities? How was our soul created? All these answers one can get via dhyān or meditation." Informed Bapuji. I believe that the one who goes deep within, meditates, becomes one with his or her breath, merges with his or her breath, thus becoming one with the Source and through the Source, the individual taps into the universal grid of Knowledge.

Look everywhere and most people have become spiritual shoppers when the answer truly just lies in going within. Focusing on the breath or one’s Master, and becoming one with the Breath and Master is the only way out. The more silent you become within, you once again start moving closer and closer towards The Absolute One, which means that first you slowly start consolidating yourself into Divine Ether as our First Element of individuality was only Divine Ether or Divine Silence. When you bring forth Divine Silence within, we start moving towards our Source and eventually become one with The Source.

In short, by doing work that is designated by Erai rather than be driven by our worldly desires, we can go home. 

ARUTPA

LIFE LONG LEARNING

Although the search has got to come to an end sometime, learning does not stop. The spiritual lessons gained from another's experience builds faith, motivates and keeps us going and does teach us to show caution, and tread carefully. Although we cannot expect the same experiences nor the results, the lessons learned will add to our knowledge of the subject at hand giving insights to the mysterious.

Rajiv Agarwal writes about his venture and journey to become enlightened at https://innerspiritualawakening.com/rajiv-agarwal/my-journey/ Here we can pick up numerous lessons.

Having explored the healing therapies of different traditions he became adept at it bringing people to see him as a guru who had some kind of spiritual powers. Fearing that he would lose sight of his aim in attaining enlightenment, he decided to refrain from healing others, "I didn’t want to be distracted from my lofty goal, and I slowly distanced myself from my image as a healer."

Moving deeper into his goal of attaining enlightenment, he began to have spiritual experiences.

It was during this time I started having fantastic spiritual experiences. Sometimes I felt so ecstatic that every cell in my body would explode with bliss. I felt that I was floating in an infinite ocean of ecstasy. I was absorbed in these expanded rapturous states of being for hours. A sense of immense sacredness and divinity infused my entire consciousness.

During these states, my body sometimes used to go in spontaneous states of yoga. Sometimes my body would become so flexible that I could bend spontaneously into difficult yoga postures. Many of these postures were completely unknown to me but the body automatically aligned itself to certain ancient forms.

Another curious thing happened with my breathing; I experienced spontaneous Pranayama and kumbhka (Ancient yogic breathing patterns and techniques). It is a cessation of breath, which leads to higher states of consciousness. I experienced both the outer and the inner cessation of breath. After I took a deep breath in, my breath used to stop for around a minute to minute and a half. During this time the mind felt utterly still and pure. After the inner cession, I would exhale, wherein my breath used to again stop for approximately a minute.

One day in a small town in the Himalayas, he begins to witness his consciousness when his consciousness shifts to envelop all there was.

As I looked within, I could feel my consciousness slowly expanding beyond my body. To my utter amazement, my consciousness expanded and slowly embraced the lake and the mountain ranges. As I looked at the clouds, I could see them become one with me. I was suddenly everywhere. The entire space was myself and everything under the sky was me. Every point of space contained me, reflected my consciousness, which was mine, but was also universal.  The entire creation melted into a luminous wave of consciousness. I was free from the bondage of individuality, from being a mere speck. I was the totality, but it was not me as a person. There was identity, but it was universal, all embracing. It was at this moment that the teachings of Nisargadatta, J Krishnamurthi, Advaita, Zen and Buddhism all unfolded and I realized what they were trying to point at. For years I had read them, contemplated their teachings, but now, at this moment, I was living them.

He says, "The spiritual awakening experience caused a permanent shift in my understanding. More than ever before, I wanted enlightenment. Enlightenment. This one word brought untold grief and suffering to me for the next few years." Wanting to make it his permanent state of being, he sought many masters but to no avail. They could not help him. 

I wasted years pleasing Gurus, hoping they would somehow help me in integrating and making this state permanent, that their grace would bestow enlightenment, the ultimate cessation of being. I knew if I witnessed my consciousness a little longer, meditated a little more, I would finally go beyond the veil of illusion and find my own true self. The more I chased enlightenment, the more miserable I became.

He thrived on thinking, "Till you reached perfection, everything else was an illusion. Either you were Enlightened and perfect, or you were still in duality, in illusion. It was a black and white situation, either you attained it, or you were imperfect." His world slowly fell apart. 

Then it struck me. I was looking for a perfect enlightened state in the future, a state which someone else had experienced. I had been caught in endless becoming, the desire to find a perfect state of being which I had read in books. And I had totally forgotten about what I had – the infinite bliss and peace which I had always experienced, the state of beyond mind and consciousness, the state of pure awareness.

At that moment, an intense joy overwhelmed me, shaking the very core of my being. The vast treasure of awakening had always been with me but my spiritual greed of becoming more, of wanting it to be permanent had made me blind to it. It was like having billions of dollars, and still being miserable because you are not as rich as Bill Gates. That day, I stopped becoming. I stopped seeking. I stopped being a miserable seeker. I had finally arrived.

Having drawn the curtain that was veiling him aside, he was truly awakened to the reality that day. He shares his moments after the awakening.

It took some years for this final shift to be totally integrated. Life has become immensely beautiful living in present conscious awareness. Stillness has become the background for all activities. Spontaneous states of bliss and ecstasy arise, carrying me to the infinite shore of immense joy. There is a sacred wonderment when beholding nature and life in all its diversity. There is a  shining darkness, an unfathomable silence, space which is empty, yet full. I call it what is, the sense of presence.

And I would like everyone to experience these amazing higher states of consciousness at least once in their life time. Even the sun pales in front of the immensity of consciousness.

We are again reminded of Ramalinga Adigal's verses from his Arutpa that very well ask us to let go after placing the initial effort. Let us let the divine work its way through us in its own good time without pressing it to do its work. We will not worry no more, neither will we attempt to slog or work towards it no further. We shall withdraw within and wait for his grace to work its beauty in us.

இனித்துயர் படமாட்டேன் விட்டே னே 

என்குரு மேல்ஆணை இட்டே னே. 

இனிப்பாடு படமாட்டேன் விட்டே னே 

என்னப்பன் மேல்ஆணை இட்டே னே.

PRAY TILL YOUR HEART BURST 2

More messages of thanks and gratefulness to Agathiyar kept coming.

• No words can talk the heart Agathiyar appa. I really never did anything, I was numb, lot of negative thoughts, confused.  U came forward and took over me, guiding me in a unexpected direction. Every second of my life I owe u lots of love. Ur my king. Its a beautiful feeling to b under ur vision.
• Thanking for giving ATM Family. Each n every moment in my life turning as miracle with the blessings of Agathiyar only. What I have in my life is coming from agathiyar blessings only. One & only agathiyar. Thanks.
• நன்றி நவிலவோ நா இல்லையே..! நின்னடியே தொழுது நீங்காது நிற்போமே..!! நுண்ணிய எம் பழவினைகள் நூறாயிரம் தாம் உண்டு.. நெற்றி கொண்ட நேத்திரத்தால் நொடிப்பொழுதும் எமை நோக்கி கண்ணாக காப்பதற்கு நன்றி நவிலவோ நா இல்லையே...!!
• Thank you Agathiar appa for coming into my life. Im indebted for everything.

To those who came to us asking questions first before wanting to step in, I figured that they wanted assurances and expected to learn about the results in coming to devote themselves to the Siddhas. Walking the Siddha path is an adventure in discovery. Nobody can tell us what is in store. Even the most experienced would still be amazed to see the Siddha's approach in elevating the other souls. There is no formula here. A prescription is only prepared the moment you knock the door and step inside. Then you are given the magical pill that transforms your life. You then step out as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa but your perspective of life changes. You see the world anew. You become amazed at Erai's creation. You begin to see things you never saw before, although right under your nose or before you. For Erai is a state. Each has to reach and pass through the numerous states on the path towards the state of Erai or Erai Nilai. No amount of describing these moments will make anyone understand. 

When I came out of prayers one day a long time ago I felt so blissful. I looked towards my wife and told her if only I could transfer that feeling by touch to another.... Today we at ATM hold hands and share the bliss among all present.

Although it is never possible to bring these state into words, ecstasy is described as an intense pleasure; A state of emotion so intense that a person is carried beyond rational thought and self-control like a mad prophet in an ecstasy; A trance, frenzy, or rapture associated with mystic or prophetic exaltation. Bliss is described as perfect happiness.

Rick Ellis in his blog https://ricknotes.com/notes-and-articles/bliss-and-ecstasy/ gives us a wonderful description of both these states. 

• Bliss – a state of consciousness – direct connection with the divine. The experience of creation – running through, and available to us.
• Ecstasy – a state of consciousness – the trance of navigation. Expanded to see the whole picture, the many ways, where paths lead and end. To navigate to the underworld and back. A whole new perspective on being human.

From what we understand from Rick Ellis, while the experience of creation is seen internally, made available to the individual and running through him bringing about a state of bliss, he then steps out beyond borders to gain insight of the very creation taking place around him, now seen externally, bringing him into a state of ecstasy. From bliss that is internal and personal, we are taken to the next level of ecstasy that goes beyond borders. Sitting long hours in a cave atop mount Arunachala, after having the darshan of Ramana Maharishi and feeling thrills of ecstasy in his presence, Ramdas dived into deep meditation. He held undisturbed communion with Lord Rama. When Ramdas came out of his state of bliss and moved into a state of ecstasy, he saw all as Ram and ran to hug the first tree he saw and the first man he met.

In his early autobiography IN QUEST OF GOD published by Anandaashram, Ramdas describes how he attained the divine vision through the grace of the Maharishi. Ramdas addressed Ramana on his first visit to the Maharishi, 

“Maharaj here stands before thee a humble slave. Have pity on him. His only prayer to thee is to give him thy blessing.”

Ramana turned to look at Ramdas and nodded his head. A thrill of inexpressible joy coursed through Ramdas, his whole body quivering like a leaf in the breeze.

Swami Ramdas in VISION, the monthly journal of Anandaashram comments further about his state, 

Ramdas went to Ramana in a state of complete obliviousness of the world. He felt thrills of ecstasy in his presence. The Maharishi made the awakening permanent in Ramdas.

In 1947 with a burning desire to realize his innate divinity, Ramsuratkumar set off in search of a master. The search for his spiritual father brought him first to Sri Aurobindo and later to Ramana. Truman Caylor Wadlington in his book YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR - THE GODCHILD OF TIRUVANNAMALAI writes,

Meeting the Maharishi’s (Ramana) gaze he went into a visual rapport with him and completely lost himself in the timeless wonder of that Godly soul. He felt as though he existed during that short while not as his solitary physical body but something far greater, far more glorious and vast. His innermost being underwent a spiritual transfiguration.

After spending three days with Ramana, he moved on to Swami Ramdas. Truman Caylor Wadlington writes, 

“However, unlike his meetings with Ramana and Aurobindo he felt no attraction to Ramdas.” 

Ramsuratkumar could not bring himself to accept Ramdas’s life of luxury. He returned to his home in Kashi. Ramsuratkumar visited Ramdas repeatedly but he felt the same way towards Ramdas each time he was with Ramdas. Even after several earlier visits to Swami Ramdas, Ramdas did not inspire the Yogi. The Yogi has this to say about his guru.

"Papa (Ramdas) did not allow this beggar to understand Him. The time was not ripe. This beggar had to wait till Papa Himself revealed His Divinity to this beggar, to make this beggar understand that Papa was his Father." – Yogi

Here is a lesson for us to learn too - do not judge the guru. Many turn up at a guru's ashram or abode and begin to study the man rather than his teachings and messages. Eventually, they leave seeing the lifestyle led by the guru, that does not conform to their image of a guru. Some delve into the running of the ashram and administrative and financial matters and seeing flaws leave with disgust, talking ill of the establishment and the guru. But the truth of the matter is either we are not destined to learn from a particular guru or we have gathered too much trash in us that needed to be sorted out and thrown before the initiation begins. Here we now understand why Tavayogi insisted that a student needed to wait some 12 years before he can receive the guru's teaching.

When finally the Yogi accepted and surrendered to Ramdas, surprisingly Ramdas was not willing and did not receive him well. Parthasarathy writes further,

Systematically Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai made Ram Surat Kunwar behave like a mad man and made the world believe that he had become mad. They drove him out of the ashram forcibly so that he would remember them constantly. They used harsh language whenever he was before them among the crowd of the devotees. By doing so Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai removed his ego totally. But it took a very long time. In the process, the pain, the sufferings he experienced were acute.

Ram Surat Kunwar again asked Swami Ramdas to allow him and his family to live in the ashram. He said,

“Papa, I have come here with the great faith that you would allow me with my family to live here. I am not able to work anywhere since the initiation. If you drive me away, where shall I go and how can I live?”

Papa vehemently answered,

“Go and beg. You cannot live in the ashram. There are enough people in the ashram to work. Remember, under a big tree, another big tree cannot grow. Only thorny bushes and grass alone will grow.”

Ram Surat Kunwar shocked on listening to the words of his Master exclaimed,

“Papa, should I beg for my food? Am I a beggar, Papa?”

Papa, without answering, went inside. From that day Ram Surat Kunwar called himself a beggar. His Guru, His Master, His God asked him to beg and so he became a “beggar.”

When Ramana followed by Aurobindo, passed away, Ramsuratkumar thought that he should open himself to the remaining sole savior Ramdas. In 1952, he arrived again at Ramdas’s ashrams; only this time Ramdas turned out to be an entirely different person. Truman writes,

It is interesting to note that when he arrived the third time the holy man was actually awaiting his arrival in expectation and greeted him just as a father would have received his own son.

Ma Devaki writes in YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR -THE DIVINE BEGGAR, published by Yogi Ramsuratkumar Ashram, Tiruvannamalai, July 2008,

According to Sri Yogiji, the four years of tutelage under Sri Aurobindo and Maharishi Ramana were a period of ceaseless transformation of the human into the divine - a period of construction of all that was conducive, destruction of all that was dross and sublimation of all into greater and greater awakening. His days see-sawed between heights of ecstasy and depths of gloom.

When finally the Yogi came to Ramdas,

He was already a ripe fruit needing but a gentle tap from the Siddha of Kerala (Ramdas) for final consummation with God. Now a divine madness, bordering sometimes on the vestiges of insanity, gripped him uncontrollably. Yogi Ramsuratkumar laughed and wept, sang and danced and yet other times sat still as a stone or rolled on the ground, ecstatically overwhelmed by beatific surges of divine consciousness.

For many years Ramdas had secretly worked on the disciple to accustom his body gradually to higher rates of vibration. Then Ramdas initiated him into the repetition of the Ram Mantra. What was to transpire immediately was a vivification of the centers or Chakras of the inner man, a radical elimination of all impurities and a sudden influx of energy directed through the master and accompanied by a release of latent spiritual fire within the disciple. The initiation would throw him into the cosmic dimensions of the divine mind and open doors to fields of activity and realms of consciousness hitherto unknown to him.

When the initiation was complete Swami Ramdas remained silent for a moment and then said, “Go and repeat this mantra day and night all the twenty four hours.”

S. Parthasarathy has given a very elaborate account of Yogi’s life in his book, BIOGRAPHY OF YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR - THE GODCHILD OF TIRUVANNAMALAI (AMARAKAVIYAM). Without adopting any rituals and not leaning on any traditional conditioned customs of the religion, Ram Surat Kunwar (the Yogi’s original name) braved his path with the pure faith upon his Guru and reached the other shore safely. Parthasarathy writes,

In later years Yogi Ramsuratkumar said “Nobody can love this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas and nobody can torture this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas. My Father killed this beggar because He loved this beggar. This beggar died at the holy lotus feet of my father Swami Ramdas in the year 1952. After that my Father alone exists and not this beggar. This name Yogi Ramsuratkumar is not this beggar’s name; it is the name of my Father. Father would always shower his grace on the people who remember this name.

In WAVES OF LOVE published by Yogi Ramsuratkumar Bhavan Mauritius, 2009, the yogi is quoted, 

“Swami (Ramdas) has killed this beggar, but life has come. Millions and millions of salutations at the lotus feet of my Master, Swami Ramdas! He has initiated this beggar in Ram Nam and has asked to chant it all the twenty-four hours. This beggar began to do it and in the space of a week, this beggar has this madness. The same madness still continues.” 

Truman writes, 

In the course of only seven days and seven nights the yogi made the great exodus from the kingdom of man to the kingdom of God. The latent forces released within him combined with the power of the master whipped him out of bondage into limitless freedom and from the mists of human intelligence into the luminous consciousness of the divine mind.

Ramsuratkumar left the home of his master for Tiruvannamalai but only arrived at Tiruvannamalai after seven long years having wandered the length and breadth of India.

As we are often reminded, at https://amarastrand.com we see a similar reminder, "Attachment to phenomena, spiritual or otherwise, will impede our unfolding.  Let it pass through you…it is a force that is tuning your various bodies to be able to transmit and hold a very clear and powerful frequency or energy signature."  I too fought the "force", not wanting it to take control of me and my life, and for various other reasons too. Today I have given in for I realize even "me and my life" does not belong to "me." Lord Muruga had to come through the Nadi to ask me to step aside and watch. My wife too has been asked to just watch the unfoldment take place. If that is his wish we shall then comply.

PRAY TILL YOUR HEART BURST 1

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." - Albert Einstein. 

How do you see life then? I choose to see everything as a miracle. What about you? 

Creation is a miracle. Birth is a miracle. Life itself is a miracle. Every single moment a miracle takes place, some that is visible and audible while many miracles go unnoticed. We are so engrossed in our chase for things that bring pleasure to our five senses that we forget to feed the soul. Even then we are selective with the pleasures that we seek. When was the last time you looked at the sky? When was the last time you spoke to a bird? When was the last time you stood mesmerized at watching the flower bloom? 

The divine providence has created the space for us to work out our desires to our heart's content. He has given us a limited time that is running out fast, to fulfill our wishes. Yet we have forgotten to thank Erai for our very existence. We have forgotten to thank him in many ways for the many things he has provided for. 

When I opened up an avenue for the ATM family to come together to thank him I was amazed at the quick response. Many opened their hearts to relay their thanks to Agathiyar this day. 

• Thank you for being with me all these years. Thank you for being with me in times of joy. Thank you for being with me in my times of pain.
• Thank you for choosing me to be your devotee appa. Thank you for being with us all the times. 
• My thank note will be too long when I come to say thanks. Since He is the 1 who guide me throughout the journey of this soul started. He never failed to bring me to close with him as much I am now. I have done so many mistakes but yet he corrected me all the time and proved me his is ultimate God father. I’m really thankful to him for the help he did to me, the strength he given to me, the beautiful Gurus he given to me and healthy life n family n so on.
• Deeply indebted to Agasthi appa and Irai... Thank you is small word.
• Thank you for Everything Appa.
• He is the one that guiding from unknown times of birth till now..thank you.
• Thank you for my wonderful spritual journey and giving me an opportunity to serve other souls in your mission. My heart burst with profound love for you appa.
• Nandri Appa.
• Thank You Agathiar Ji for being with me and my family, for being present always whether I realised it or not, for bringing me in your fold from one corner of the country to another. Thanks for making m a better human being than I was.
• Thank you APPA for loving me more than anyone and even when I never loved myself..thank you APPA for forgiving me and still giving a chance to correct my past birth sins, with the boundless love ..thank you appa for your compassion and guidance..I owe you everything , though I don't posses anything of myself.
• Thank you for each and  everything You gave me Appa .. Om Sivaya Agatheesaaya Nama.
• Thank you APPA for the past, present and future.. 
• Father, thank you for each and everything that happened in my life but I am so much moved whenever I think about the occasions  you blocked the situations(when I was a non believer or a total skeptic) where I were to do some non righteous or god defying acts(many times miraculously). Thanks appa for all the kripa, with which now I'm able to think about you..only your kripa..
• Without him I am nothing. I can't find the words to thank him. He is everything in my life. Blessed to be under his shelter. Still I have to come out from me to reach his feet.
• Appa thank you for each and everthing that happened in my life the thanks not enough to say hw gratitude i am to u aggathiar appa we love u so much pa.
• Thank you Appa for your immeasurable grace, unconditional love and compassion for me ,my loved ones and our ATM family.
• I  really need to thank  our father  Agasthya daily. We love him for his immeasurable grace and guidance...though it is difficult to express our love and gratitude to the one who cares and loves us more than our ownsleves. By bringing in the divine people and guidance and inspiration  from around the Globe. He is there in our pain and pleasure holding our hands and wants us to merge with divine. I am grateful and will always be.

I know that we are all grateful to him. But we need to tell it openly and frequently. It would be best if we could thank him daily.  It is not that he needs to be told how grateful we are but showing gratitude to him does marvelous things within us. For one the ego diminishes and love blossoms. A study shows the following result: "Counting your blessings increases your emotional health."

Researchers had one group of students write each day about things they were grateful for, a second about things they were angry about, and a third about random topics like the color of their shoes. The ones who wrote about things they were grateful for were the happiest! Even more interesting is that those who wrote about the things they were grateful for were less likely to be sick.

Did you notice the blue sky? The beautiful clouds? The mountains in the background? There are so many beautiful things to be grateful for, and as we practice being grateful we will notice them more and more. 

On the contrary,

"When people are not grateful they tend to complain, and that isn’t good for anyone. Some people have a hard time being grateful for what they have." 

(Source: "Why?: Powerful Answers and Practical Reasons for Living", published by Deseret Book.)

Hence the reason we listed the things we are thankful and grateful for.

The saints who were grateful to Erai expressed their feelings through the songs of devotion that we have come to be familiar with. Although we do not have the divine knowledge or jnanam to come out with such songs we can always adopt and sing theirs. By singing these songs their experience becomes our experience too.

A friend once asked angrily why we need to praise Erai? Do they expect us to worship and praise them?

I was surprised when Agathiyar asks me to come to his path, the path of the Siddhas in my very first Nadi reading. When many go seeking the numerous paths out there to see which is most adaptive to their preconceived ideas of Erai, Agathiyar had already chosen a path for me. I was surprised when he asked me to worship Lord Ganapathy, Lord Siva, the Siddhas and himself. Now I guess my friends query is answered. Yes Erai asked to be worshipped. Agathiyar even sent me to meet my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and had me meet my second guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar in Malaysia. Agathiyar paved the way for me to journey on the path shown by him by showing me first the many miracles that the Siddhas were capable of. He then gave me techniques to put into practice through the Nadi and Tavayogi. He brought me and others to do charity. He brought us to perform rituals personally without the need for mediums in our own homes. Now, why did he have us do all these? What is it in it for him? What has he to gain from our devotion towards him? No, they do not expect anything from us. What can we possibly give them? The garland? The flower that is strung to make the garland was given by him. Lighting the camphor? That too was given by him. The silk cloth that adorns his form? There is nothing that was created by us that we can give back to him except the soul that came from him too. He is asking for what is rightfully his. Now, why are we reluctant to give what is due to him?

I am reminded of Manikavasagars verses in the Lord's Sivapuranam that states it is only by his grace that I have come to worship him.

சிவன் அவன் என்சிந்தையுள் நின்ற அதனால்

அவன் அருளாலே அவன்தாள் வணங்கிச்
சிந்தை மகிழச் சிவ புராணம் தன்னை
முந்தை வினைமுழுதும் ஓய உரைப்பன் யான். — 20

By praising and giving thanks certain subtle changes take place within us too, besides the obvious joy and ecstasy that is seen visibly. The soul that is not seen by the naked eyes rejoices in celebration of every moment it is with Erai. The soul expands tremendously gaining Atma Balam in his presence. The tiny spark of his spirit that is in us and that we carry through each birth expands to engulf and envelop our soul in effulgence.

Sadly devotion was seen as a business by him. He wanted to know what he gained from trading with Erai, what he would receive through showing his love for him and expressing gratitude to him. I guess everything is a deal for him. There was another lady who questioned my wife what we gained by worshipping Agathiyar the very first time she set foot at ATM. There is no way I can show them what we have gained from the worship of the Divine. Each has to walk the path, experience the terrain, seek shelter from the weather, go hungry for days, withstand the scorching heat and the freezing nights, to know the journey as Tavayogi and many others went through or gain it the easy way we did - the way of devotion or bhakti - as Tavayogi pointed out.

REVEALING THE SECRETS

When I came to the path it was shrouded in mystery. Many kept it a secret close to their heart. But some chose to reveal and share. Ramalinga Adigal was one. Slowly I could see that I was experiencing things mentioned in his Arutpa. I could relate to the verses in his Tiruarutpa. His experience became mine too. This was confirmed in the Nadi by Agathiyar and the Siddhas in various instances. I was elated to know that the divine chose to elevate this miserable soul to his side. And to think that it all started with me heeding the words of Agathiyar and starting the home puja.

Although Erai is beyond form, for our purpose we chose to see Erai with form. The masters and gurus then depicted Erai with a form that they either saw or that came to them. These then took visual forms as in a painting or an idol. The form is then justified with inner meanings and rituals or ways to worship drawn up. Then the cloning and duplicating began with slight variations until someone else had another entirely new vision. The moment he takes a form that is similar to the human form there is a need to see his daily needs are met with just as we attend to our guest. Hence the rituals of inviting the deity, washing the feet, quenching their thirst, giving a bath, dressing them up in clean fresh cloth or attire, serving food to appease their hunger and putting them to bed and waking them up the next morning are required. This is exactly what is being done in the temples too, where a specific time is allocated for their visit and the public too comes to receive their darshan and blessings. Although we know that Erai cannot be limited to time and space, our ancestors have derived a way to bring the divine within the reach of the commoner through these means.

Siva Sri AP Muthukumara Sivachariar, a disciple of Chitramuthu Adigal and contemporary of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal has listed the SOP involved in invoking the deities both at home in his book "Illa Vazhipaadu" and in the temples through his audio cassette "Temple Worship." His books and talks served as a guide for me too when I started daily home puja and temple worship in the eighties.

He went on to rebuild the Sri Maha Maariamman temple with intent to correct certain major flaws in the earlier temple but the divine providence brought him a better offer. The new temple today stands out at a new site, as the only granite structured temple at Bukit Rotan, a technique used and in the likes of the famed Breehadeshwar temple Tanjavur, the old temple giving way to road extensions.

Generally, seekers come to the master hoping that they will take notice of them and their knowledge in the scriptures, hoping to rub shoulders and have a seat beside the master. If the master invites you to have a seat beside him it is only to break you and your ego. Then the guru would put him to test, emptying him of all the knowledge accumulated over the years. The guru will fill him not with his knowledge or experience but will help the seeker build his own experience. Agathiyar came to us easily as vouched by Tavayogi. Tavayogi did mention that he had to leave his family, go in search of the divine, roam the streets, stay hungry for days, rush to look for shelter when it rains and finally gets to know him, while Agathiyar easily moved into our homes and our hearts.

When Agathiyar ask me to switch the lamp that I kept lit at home to one of clay, from the original brass kamatchi lamp, I could not comprehend the philosophy behind the need to worship a clay lamp, although Agathiyar stated it very briefly. Today I have come to realize its inner meaning: that the body is the clay that the lamp is made of; the soul is the oil or ghee that fills the vessel, and the wick is the thought of attaining a light body or merging with the source. As Tavyogi says we become the thought, we prepare the body or the clay lamp, making it fit to receive the soul or the oil, over the years. We work on the soul, gaining strength or Atma Balam, by taking in all of lifes experience. Then we wait for the master, guru or the divine to light the lamp of effulgence or jnana in us. The divine lights up the Jhoti in us, not unlike we striking a match to light it. 

Both Agathiyar, through the Nadi, and Tavayogi, by showing us, gave us several techniques of breathing or pranayana and asanas or postures to help bring the body, mind and soul to a top form for the entry of the divine spark from whom we got separated. Having left his abode originally, the reunion takes place here where the divine spark merges within with the spark that we carried all along having worked on intensifying it through the numerous births. Simply said, the divine sent us off on a journal of gaining experience, to endure a period of separation and promised to come to meet us when the time was right to redeem us back to his kingdom.

THE MYSTERIOUS SIDDHAS & THEIR GRACE

There is a general rule for the commoner and an exception for those on the path. Many rules for the common man does not apply to one on the path. Although The Gods have laid the rules for the proper governance and administration of the world and all its laws both the Siddhas and the genuine gurus have the gift of changing man's fate, the nation's fate and the law of nature. 

The Ashtama Siddhis gained and exhibited by them never fail to first bewilder and later amaze us. The simple rituals that they introduce to us counter the elaborate agamas performed for ages in temples and elsewhere. The very nature of the body that is known to heal itself, is amplified and seen in those on the path. The notion that there is one world, one sun, and a moon is shattered by their revelations.

Coming to the path there is no template or an SOP for all to follow. Each move is customized for the client accordingly. Each experience is unique to the seeker. There is a myriad of ways, means, techniques and practices that can lead one to have a divine and earth-shaking experience. But it happens with the grace of Erai and the Siddhas rather than entirely on our effort. As Tavayogi says, "While the initial seeking, search, learning, practice, and effort is required on our path to transcend two stages that of Muladhara and Svadhisthana, the Siddhas come down your way to lead you on further on the path."

I was blessed to have several mystical and still incomprehensible experiences while traveling the path. Although Agathiyar did show me many miracles as promised in my very first Nadi reading in 2002 and later in 2005, I was then more of a witness, who stood looking in disbelief, to new magical things and mysterious happenings taking place on the very face of our earth, rather than in a state of dream or in another realm or space. It was then more of an amazement to me looking on as a spectator or a bewildered child, seeing a magic show or a circus for the very first time. The question of whether and how these miracles were possible, was and is always on my mind. 

Bringing me to perform remedies or parikaram after my very first Nadi reading, Agathiyar showed me my very first guru at the end of my last leg of my visit to India in 2003. I immersed in him, a solid five hours that remain till this day the most joyful moments of my life. The rare moments between the guru and the disciple (which I was unaware of till later) as exemplified in Nakiran's tribute song to Lord Vinayagar took place that evening.

மோனா ஞான முழுதும் அளித்து
சிற்பரிப் பூரண சிவத்தைக் காண
நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து
குருவுஞ் சீடனுங் கூடிக் கலந்து
இருவரும் ஒரு தனியிடந் தனிற் சேர்ந்து
தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்
ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து
ஈசனிைணயடியிருத்தி
மனத்தே நீயே நானாய்
நானே நீயாய்க்
காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணா்ந்து
எல்லாமுன் செயலென்ேற உணர
நல்லா உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்
காரண குருவே கற்பகத் களிேற
வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி

Supramania Swami began to talk about himself, his gurus, all five, and go on to reveal about me and my reason to come to India. I sat before him in the small cottage that was his home in the village of Nachananthal some eight kilometers away from the Tiruvannamalai town. It was late afternoon when Deva brought me to Swami's home to have my daughter's horoscope chart and read. But instead, Swami revealed about me without even asking to look at my palm, asking for my birth details or drawing up my astrological chart. He was narrating about me and the events to come as if downloading from the Akashic records, with his eyes shut throughout the time. He spoke of matters, including those that were revealed in my Nadi reading, that only Agathiyar, the Nadi reader and I knew. As dusk began to bid farewell and the night began to envelop the small village, those were some lovely five hours I spent with him. Sending me back to my homeland Agathiyar told me he would show me many more miracles on my home ground which he is doing till this day. https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2013/07/supramania-swami-i-went-in-search-of.html

Similarly the few hours in 2002, I spent in the company of Nadi guru Senthilkumar who was a tool through whom Agathiyar revealed my past, present, and future were equally amazing moments. I sat spellbound and speechless as he deciphered, read and translated into modern day Tamil from the Nadi, matters that only I could have known.

Setting me off to India on a pilgrimage the second time in 2005 with Tavayogi, Agathiyar began to show numerous miracles as promised in the Nadi, read by T.Ramesh: Agathiyar opening his eyes as promised in a granite statue of his at Agasthiyampalli and hours later without forwarning, doing the same feat at Papanasam in 2003; The abhiseka milk that was given to me twice, in 2003 and 2005, to drink that made me go into a state of mindful levitation at Palani; The chanting of Yogi Ramsuratkumar's name that brought the saint from his samadhi to chant with Supramania Swami and me at his kudil in 2005; The sacred ash that materialized in Konganar's cave at Uthiyur that Tavayogi applied on my forehead and on himself; and many more.

Among the many encounters with matters beyond our anticipation and control was when Tavayogi bursts into tears as he applied the sacred ash on my forehead as I kneeled before him following the others after he had spoken at a local chapter of his peedham in Sri Gombak. I did not know the reason then for him to exhibit that emotion in public. But the irony is no one really noticed this brief moment of silent communication, as they were all going about with their usual matters. Later as I drove him to my home I asked him what had transpired back there. He hushed me up by pointing to the rear seat where we had a devotee dosing off to dreamland. I understood that he did not wish to talk about it as we had company.

The next time I saw an outburst of cry come from him was when he fell to the floor in front of a huge portrait of his guru Chitramuthu Adigal and his Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal at the Malaysia Arul Oli Mandram in Ipoh. Although he rarely spoke about his gurus and worshipped them even less, I saw the amount of devotion and gratitude he had on them by his reaction in dropping to the ground in reverence that day. This incomprehensible experience happened to me too the day I was officially introduced to Agathiyar by Tavayogi. I came to worship Agathiyar after I was asked in my first Nadi reading. Having performed the ritual of paying homage to the Nadi that was made available by the Siddhas, and subsequently hearing the names of these Siddhas recited by Nadi guru Sentilkumar for the very first time, I continued the worship of Siddhas at my altar in the prayer room of my home daily. Subsequently I made my maiden journey to India to carry out my remedies or parikaram, where I was brought to meet Supramania Swami in India in 2003.

I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in Malaysia in 2005. After introducing ourselves and after Tavayogi spoke about the many charitable deeds and activities he conducted back at his Kallar ashram in India, he invited me to his ashram at my leisure and my family to his talk later that evening. As I fell at his feet to bid farewell, he apprehended me for doing that and told me instead, that I should only fall at the feet of Agathiyar and pointed me to a pair of wooden sandals or pathugai place under the huge and majestic painting of Agathiyar. I turned towards the sandals and held them tight when a continuous stream of tears ran down my cheeks as I sat wailing like a child. Tavayogi remarked to Appana, "We too cried like this." From there on it was a frequent thing that took place at sacred spots where for some unknown reason something was triggered in me that opened the gates to the flood waters from the tear glands that flowed through a number of tear (lacrimal) ducts behind my upper eyelids and weld up in my eyes to the extent the eyes could not contain them and it has to flow down the cheeks. Was this the external showing of an internal connection of the soul with its source?

If the earlier happenings saw me stand witness to the marvels of the Siddhas, shown as miracles for my eyes alone, be it in the dense jungles and deep dark caves or in the midst of the large temple crowd or market place, soon he moved amongst us and brought many amazing experiences both internally and within and externally that was witnessed by my family first and later the AVM family. 

One such incident took place at the samadhi temple of Jaganatha Swamigal in Tapah. My family and I on our way back to our hometown had just arrived at the temple when I went into a different state of mind and my body moved on its own accord as if powered by something else. I began to make bodily gestures and sounds that were way beyond my control as my family, not comprehending what was taking place, stood motionless and watched. A group of devotees and followers of a local monk who had decided to camp at the temple and who started performing agamic rituals at the samadhi, surprisingly did not notice all that took place, although they were present together and attending to their matters. We suppose Jagannatha came to bless the family in person that day, drawing a curtain between us and others.

When the family and I had stepped out of the Nattukottai Chettiar’s Sri Thandayuthapani Temple some distance away from the foot of the Waterfall Hilltop Temple in Penang, I burst into loud laughter as I lifted my hands in prayer and salutation over my head, looking towards and beyond the hill temple. Someone walked up to my family and mentioned, "He is in great Bliss."

When the family and I were led on a tour of the Sri Shiva Shanmugar cave temple in Sungai Siput by the temple priest, an astounding thing happened. This temple was mentioned in the Nadi of a devotee. Since he was asked to visit but could not make it we took it as a cue for us to visit the place, as it had come to our attention. Once we arrived at the spot where we were told Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated, I went into a swift dance that ended with me landing into a pit on my back. Miraculously I came out unhurt nor unfarced to everyone's surprise.

Then at another time, I went into an uncontrollable state of expression of devotion at the Sri Siva Subramaniam Temple Kampong Kepayang Ipoh when the AVM family who was touring numerous temples stopped over to visit. I guess my gratefulness to the divine came out as a show of tears in their presence.

The AVM family was greeted by Agathiyar in the form of a granite statue in an estate temple built in 1938 on Carey Island. https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2018/02/agathiyar-in-carey-island.html Here too I and many others went into a state of bliss that the AVM family and the public stood witness too. Here we saw the expression of love and devotion unfold and many hearts open up that day to receive the grace of Erai.

Even before this spate of mysterious events took place I was drawn into a state of bliss and calm at the sannadhi of Lord Nadaraja at Ekambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram. It was truly mystical and enchanting. I was led into the lord's huge chamber by a young priest who met me at the doorway. He began to chant holy hymns and mantras, showered flowers, showed arati and rang the bells, playing up all the components that created a conducive environment that made me go into an ecstatic state immediately. I stood fixed to the ground, my eyes transfixed on the overwhelming figure of the Lord who looked down on me with compassion and love. I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the massive and majestic Lord Nadaraja and stood in silence and with a great sense of gratitude for having given an audience with him for that few moments where time stood still. How could I repay him?

Another moment that will never be erased from my memory is both the time I stood before Lord Dakshina Murthy at Jambukeswarar Temple, Thiruvanaikaval, with a torrential outpour of tears, in 2003 and then again in 2013. The first time I never knew why I broke down and wept for hours seemingly oblivious to the train of devotees who walked by. The only witness to this moment was the old priest who opened the gates to the closed sannadhi and conducted the arati, upon insistence from the priest who we picked up from neighboring Utamar temple in Uthamarkoil earlier to help with the parikaram, the temple watchman, and Deva who drove me around. When the watchman coaxed me to stop crying the priest asks that he let me be. "Let him cry. He needs to cry!", he told him. True, actually I cried to my heart's content that day, for no reason. How do we explain these phenomena?

The second time I was at this venue I was accompanied by Jnana Jhothiamma and my family. This time after having shed tears again and having been coaxed by Jnana Jhotiamma, I had stopped crying and calmed down. She asked that I give a small token to the priest a well built fair and handsome young man who was in attendance. When I walked up to him and placed some rupee notes on the platter that he held, he asked me out of the blues if I saw it! The next moment I saw in a flash the form of Lord Dhandayutapani of Palani in flesh in him! I fell to the ground, prostrated before him, again in tears of joy and bliss, announcing to all like a mad man, that I had seen Lord Muruga. To our surprise again the public did not seem to notice whatever was taking place. It was as if a large curtain was drawn across keeping these intense moments private.

When the AVM family went on a pilgrimage before finally attending the inauguration of the new Kallar temple complex, we stopped by at the Mayuranathaswamy Temple, in Mayiladuthurai, where we were electrified by the divine presence at Kuthambai Siddhar's Jeeva samadhi. We were grounded, for some time as the whole body shook in ecstasy. https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2016/12/destination-india-day-2.html

Today we realize that above all the yearning to know them, dedication to the tasks given, discipline in conducting ourself, and devotion to Erai and the Siddhas, it is through their grace that all these transpired, coming together as a whole and bringing about fruition. Manickavasagar and Ramalinga Adigal have described these states of bliss and ecstasy in simple terms through the rendition of songs of praise that was an outcome of their spiritual discoveries and endeavors and their deep feelings of love for Erai. It brings us to an elated state knowing that we too have touched, although only the fringe of the spiritual sphere spoken off, but this itself is most satisfying and fulfilling to us as for now.

These were the many moments and instances of ecstasy and bliss we encountered while walking the path shown by the Siddhas. These miracles continue at ATM even today. The Siddhas began to use us as conduits or channels to pass on their blessings, grace and advise and also to reprehend us in some cases. It was all mind boggling and beyond logic and comprehension. We stood stupified not knowing what was happening most of the times. But as it was all well meant we took it in our stride and continued the journey without questioning the message nor the source.

As Ramalinga Adigal penned the following words for his அம்பலத்தரசே,

அம்பல வாணணை நாடின னே
அவனடி யாரொடும் கூடின னே.
தம்பத மாம்புகழ் பாடின னே
தந்தன என்றுகூத் தாடின னே.
நான்சொன்ன பாடலும் கேட்டா ரே
ஞான சிதம்பர நாட்டா ரே.
இனித்துயர் படமாட்டேன் விட்டே னே 
என்குரு மேல்ஆணை இட்டே னே. 
இனிப்பாடு படமாட்டேன் விட்டே னே 
என்னப்பன் மேல்ஆணை இட்டே னே. 
சன்மார்க்கம் நன்மார்க்கம் நன்மார்க்கம்
சகமார்க்கம் துன்மார்க்கம் துன்மார்க்கம்.
நாதாந்த நாட்டுக்கு நாயக ரே
நடராஜ ரேசபா நாயக ரே.
நான்சொல்லும் இதுகேளீர் சத்திய மே
நடராஜ எனில்வரும் நித்திய மே,

we will not worry no more, neither will we attempt to slog or work towards it no further. We shall withdraw within and wait for his grace to work its beauty in us.

REMEMBERING THE GURU

Yesterday was a day where we at AVM brought out thoughts together in remembrance of our guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. He passed away on 3rd July 2018. His tithi fell on this day. 

Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyaar called to inform about this day and told us that she would like us to hold a joint prayer simultaneously at the same time she held one at Kallar Ashram. She told us that she would conduct a yagam followed by prayers.

When Supramania Swami passed away, I asked Tavayogi what we were to do. He replied, "Nothing, just pray that his soul is placed in a high place." When the late Hanumathdasan passed away, Agathiyar told his close aids not to carry out any ritual of remembering him, for it would create a conflict of interest as the soul was deemed to continue its tapas while the family and friends were calling him back. Then Agathiyar had mentioned too the need to perform rites for the souls that had passed on in the family ancestry and one's family deity or kula deivam. But there was an exception too. If we had come to the Siddha worship it was not of any importance then. Similarly Agathiyar will suggests numerous remedies or parikara for those who come to seek his Nadi to now the reasons and for solutions to their problems, which includes worship of the Navagraha. But once we begin to hold on to the Siddhas, he tells us that the Navagrahas become our guru who would then guide us rather than watch us go through pain and suffering. I have come to understand that there is a pre and a post Siddha life that reverses all the laws of nature and science, belief and faith, understanding and perception.

So as we had not carried out any tithi prayers in the past either for the guru or ancestors, we did not know whether we should go ahead or otherwise and what we were to do if we were to go ahead. A handful of us at ATM who knew Tavayogi got together. Initially, I told Bala Chandran that we would have a full session prayer that included homa, libation, and singing the praises of the Siddhas just as was planned at Kallar. The night before, talking to Bala over the phone, I decided to follow what Agathiyar had told Bala when Tavayogi passed away last year. He had asked Bala who was in India to light a lamp at Bhogar's sannadhi at Palani which he did. So we decided that we shall light a single aganda deepam and sit in prayer. No homa. No libation. During the afternoon we did not even need to light the lamp as we decided to sit quietly in meditation on our guru instead. We were not moved to sing their praises either. We remembered Tavayogi in a very simple manner without rituals of any kind. Our decision was accepted and endorsed by the Siddhas. As we are always open to suggestions and views and most importantly change, this is how the divine guides us in all our decisions, moving us to carry out their thoughts and wishes.

LESSONS THAT COME OUR WAY

Srinatha Raghavan has shared many valuable messages both his and from masters whom he had met in his life on fb in the past. These are too good to miss. Hence I took the liberty to share it here.

Make the body steady as a clay lamp,

Fill it with oil of Devotion to the brim,

Place the wick of Knowledge (Discrimination) gently within,

When fully soaked (ready), the Guru will come to light it,

Invoking the flame of Highest Wisdom to shine through,

Once the lamp is set alight there will be no fear of Darkness,

It will keep spreading it's light without any effort,

Those who want to be in it's light will come on their own,

And those who cannot tolerate it will leave on their own,

That's the whole life of an Awakened being.

Another.

While doing long periods of Sadhana, the Body, Mind and Breath undergo tremendous and unexpected changes. The breathing becomes deeper, slower, longer and steady, while the body starts to produce intense heat (Taapagni), due to prolonged concentration and refinement of the Mind locked in the Agnya Chakra.

Many years ago, when I underwent a similar situation, the heat and pain became unbearable, where the body would become locked for hours together and despite wanting to move, it wouldn't. It would be like the joints were locked internally by some unseen force (Actually it's the Prana) and it would unlock on it's own.

Finding no real solution after having tried a zillion ones, I continued to the best of my physical ability, pushing the body and mind to its limit, till it couldn't take no more. The body would break down with shooting pain in every inch of it, while the heat generated would make it difficult to even pass stools, with small boils covering all over the body, it was a painful time indeed. This is why it is important to have the guidance of the Guru, so his/her timely wisdom and spiritual common sense can redeem you from your plight.

Just as providence would have it I was fortunate to meet a Siddha from the South during a spiritual sojourn, who was fondly called Appa Siddhar or Rasamani Siddhar. He gauged my plight and gave me a "Rasamani" or "Solidified Purified Mercury" which is still an impossible feat for modern Science to achieve. Mercury by nature is highly poisonous and ingesting it can cause blood poisoning or even death, however the Siddhas of yore found a way to purify it through various "Bandhanas" cleaning and purifying it repeatedly with various herbal juices and salts, till it became a potent tool used for spiritual ascension.

As He gave the "Rasamani" with the instructions on how to use it, the changes in the body was instant and miraculous. A steady Mind and a steadier body is a great blessing for the long and arduous Spiritual Journey within. When I used it as instructed, the heat generated would be strangely transmitted in to the Mercury Ball or Gutika and the body would become cool, tireless and strong, even if it was not fed with anything for hours together.

Trust me when I say this, the Spiritual Path is not a bed of Roses, for a time will come when Heaven will become Hell and there will be no one to understand your plight, let alone help you come out of it. Only the grace of the Guru, has the power to see you through, that's the truth.

The Rasamai was with me for a long time, but in one of my trips, I happened to meet another Spiritual Seeker who was undergoing similar upheavals, so I gladly gave it to him, so it could do its job to help yet another one achieve or overcome what would be otherwise impossible indeed.

Note: Please be advised that the Rasamani or Parad, you get in the market today is not at all the real one. It is either lead coated with German Silver or an alloy of Aluminum and other metals, which is highly poisonous and can cause rashes and other severe conditions. Real Rasamani is very rare and the ones who know how to make it, are even more rarer, because of it's precise, time consuming and difficult to achieve perfection, making the asking price as high as the sky.

Another.

No matter how much you search, or where you search, ultimately it's your Spiritual Karma that has to bear fruit and shape your Destiny, "attracting" the Spiritual Master to you. There is no other way, for if you go in search of them deliberately, you'll only end up "servicing" wannabes and spiritual quacks, making you disillusioned sooner or later.

Remember, it's the Bee which goes in search of the Flower and never the other way round. Also, the Flower has to have Nectar in it...that Nectar is your Spiritual Karma!

So perform good deeds, patiently collect the Nectar and then wait for the Bees (Saints) to flock to your presence on their own.

Or even better...become one!

Here is another piece of advice from another master.

I wanted to leave everything in search of God, 

When my Master met me mid way and asked,

"How can you find the Creator, by abandoning His Creation? Are they not inseparable like Water and its Wetness?" 

These simple words hit me hard that I dropped the search,

As there was nothing to find or search, 

For wasn't everything He alone!

Everything that moves in Creation is She,

Everything that is perfectly still is He,

Yet there is movement in stillness,

And stillness in movement,

For both are inseparable indeed.

Another

I always wanted to run away from the world, to some lonely retreat, where no one would bother me or my spiritual practices, that is, until my old Master met along the way and said, "You fool, what's the use of all your Spirituality and Spiritual Disciplines, if it doesn't make you fit to live in the World, instead of running away from it?"

He added, "Go be a part of it, yet apart, that's the real deal!"

Here is another.

There was a great Devotee, who would spend all the time in devotional activities, like singing Bhajans, chanting the name of the Lord, reading from various Scriptures etc. He was highly respected and venerated in his village as a Saint. He had an adolescent son, who was wayward and exactly the opposite of His great devoted Father.

A child is but an extension of its parents, or at least that's what we want to believe, but each unto their own karma, hence we all have to be, what others can't even imagine. This boy would meander in the woods all alone, sing and dance, do nothing in particular, despite His Father giving him many tasks to keep him occupied. Every evening when the son would return home from wandering, the Father would take him to task, so he would improve or at least he hoped.

One day, the Son got late than usual and the Father, a Widower, lost his temper. He yelled at the top of his voice, "You useless idiot, if you have nothing else to do, at least call on God to help you?"

The words hit the young boy so hard that the next morning as he went into the woods, he began calling for God. He called in all earnesty, but there was no one who responded to his pleas. Many such futile days went by, calling and waiting for God to appear, while His Father was busy with his daily devotional activities.

As time passed by, the Father noticed a subtle change in the behavior of his son. He was no longer the erratic and erroneous boy, in fact he was exuding a strange sense of peace and joy, that whenever the son was around the Father felt a deep sense of devotion welling up from within him. Unable to fathom the change, the Father asked the son, "What do you do the entire day?"

To which the son casually replied, "Why, I play with God!"

The Father couldn't believe what he had just heard and convinced his son was again resorting to lies, slapped him hard across his face, telling him not to do so. The Son didn't know what just transpired, but He nodded his head in submission and went to sleep. For the next many nights, the Father asked the same question and the son too gave the same answer.

Now the Father was livid with rage, thinking how could it be possible, when He was the one who took all the effort to be devoted to God, whereas his dunce of a son, just ran around hither and tither, wasting his time and life in pursuing absolutely nothing.

When you fall for a definition it will take a lifetime to break it so you can be free. No matter how great a Devotee is, that very greatness shall often become their downfall.

Real greatness is the heart that doesn't care for greatness, for it is happy to live and die totally unknown and obsolete. The Father who was considered by others to be a great Devotee, fell for the definition trap and doubted everyone else save He, could be a real Devotee. So when His own son spoke the Truth, that he was playing with God the whole day, the Father was quick to silently doubt and mock in disbelief. What we dream of, if others dream the same, theirs is just a dream and ours is vision indeed. 

One day, the Father called his young son and said, "Today take me along and introduce me to your God?"

The innocent dunce of a child was happy to take its Father along so He could see once and for all, the God who played. They waded through the forest, thick with flora and fauna, when they reached a secluded place, where there was an abandoned idol of little Krsna holding a ball of butter.

The son pointed out to the stone statue, to which the Father impetuously reacted with a loud laughter. The Father who himself was a devotee, failed to see the devotion of his own flesh and blood. Alas! Even in devotion there is strong competition, who wants to prove their spiritual competence to the rest of the world.

As the Father kept laughing at his own son's dubious claims of playing with God, they heard a melodious and divine voice calling out, "Come let's play!" The Father fell mute in sacred terror, while the son went on to play with an invisible presence, laughing and singing the most beautiful songs, that no one had ever heard before.

The Father was now totally confused with all the strange happenings, when He pleaded the unseen presence to reveal itself unto Him. He heard the childlike voice once again, "I'm always here and everywhere else, it's your eyes which are blinded by arrogance, which is why you are unable to see?"

The great Devotee fell on the ground pleading for mercy, when all he could hear was the sweet sound of a child's laughter filled with innocent glee.

No matter who you are, what you know or have done, unless the Divine wills, you will be ever bound by your own understanding of Truth sadly.

Another.

"What is the use of worshiping forms, when the Divine is formless?" was the question.

He smiled and replied, "For the one who is lost, abandoned and drowning in the infinite Sea, even a drifting log is God indeed."

~ Forms help you to stay afloat, before you garner enough faith, detachment and courage to let yourself drown in the Formless. Forms help you prepare to receive the Formless.

Another.

Anugraha (Divine Grace) cannot be bought or earned, practiced, predicted nor promised or so. It's like a carefree Butterfly, it will come on its own, choose to sit on your shoulders or give you a miss, no one knows.

Another.

Someone asked, "What is the beauty of Rama Nama?"

He looked at them with tears of joy flowing down His eyes and said nothing at all.

Ah! The word "Rama" is not just a name, it's the key to everlasting peace and happiness. The ones who drink get inebriated without wanting anything else -- neither this world or the next.

When tears flow hearing the name of God, chocking you midway, not wanting anything for yourself, simply flowing with Consciousness, know for sure that you have experienced a certain kind of love, unlike any other...then you can boldly say, "I have experienced God!"

...for Love in it's highest form is God!

Another

Real learning happens when you realize what you know is incomplete & there is much more to know indeed. But for that you'll have to first garner the courage to let go of what you know, so you can get to know what you don't.

There was a time, I was hopelessly addicted to reading Books, so much that I would do nothing but read and read, in the pursuit of that elusive satisfaction that comes with "I know!" I would carry the library of Knowledge inside my head and showcase it when ever I got a chance.

I remember as an adolescent, I had been to the breezy city of Kanyakumari with my Dad and others. While we were in the Vivekananda Museum, I broke into an impromptu jig of recounting stories of Swami Vivekanada's tryst with destiny, based on the collages displayed, entertaining my family with lesser known details of the Swami's life and times. In a short while, a huge crowd assembled around us, eagerly listening a kid tell stories of a bygone era with nuanced details and timelines.

Few of them even went to my Father and gave a few words of appreciation, which made him very proud. That cheeky pride rubbed on to me as well, when my head began to swell in a matter of moments. When your head swells, your tongue becomes more excited and wiggles more than it should.

As I was taking pride at my feat of intellectual exhibition, an old Sadhu who was sitting by the steps of the hall called out to me. He was totally weather beaten, with skin like worn out leather and a springy almost brittle head of hair, with a smile that said, "I know something, that you don't!"

I approached him in reverence and sat beside him, when He asked about my whereabouts, to which I answered satisfactorily. He then asked me something which hit me in my gut. He said, "You seem to know a whole lot about Swami Vivekananda, now tell me, how has it changed you as a person?"

That question was to set into motion, something that would change me forever. I was speechless, as I did not know what to say, but it prompted me to think, to an extent that the grip of Bookish Knowledge was to lose it's influence on me over the years to come. Today when I look back, I feel that was my first initiation into the realms of practical and experiential Spirituality and not Spirituality based on borrowed Knowledge. Knowledge will help you to climb the Mountain, but when you come to the peak, it's your faith and courage to take off, that will help you to fly.

There is no greater wisdom than that gained from direct experience of the Truth.

It's not how much you know that will make a difference in your life, it's what you don't that matters the most, which will prompt you one day or the other, to undertake the journey leading to Enlightenment.

Enlightenment is not to know, it is to be!