THE FOUR ASHRAMAS

The most beautiful feature of Sanatana Dharma, or generally known as Hinduism, is the four phases in every person's life, or the four stages of life that have been beautifully assigned and outlined for those keen to follow, the social doctrine known as Ashramas, namely Brahmacharya, Grihastha, Vanaprastha, and Sannyasa.

From "Spiritual Culture" at https://spiritualculture.org/the-four-ashramas-stages-of-life-in-hindu-thought/ we gather it as a wonderful journey "from the disciplined dawn of youth to the quiet dusk of renunciation. These stages are not just historical ideals, but living truths offering insight into who we are, what we are called to do, and how we can live meaningfully."

Brahmacharya is the phase whereby one seeks "education and builds on his character, laying the foundation for future responsibilities."

Then, entering the phase of a Grihastha, he begins to socially engage with the community and society. It revolves around the "family life, career, and his or her contribution," where one’s Dharma is enacted. He takes on various roles and the duties of a "spouse, parent, worker, and citizen". The post describes it beautifully, stating that "Many see household life as spiritually limiting. But Hinduism reverses this, saying: Spirituality must thrive in the heart of the world, not just in forests or temples. Our emails, diapers, deadlines — all can be sacred, if done in the right spirit."

Then "one begins to withdraw -- not to escape, but to contemplate. Vanaprastha marks a time of detachment, generally after children are grown and responsibilities lessen. One might still live in society, but with less involvement. Duties are now handed to the next generation. The heart turns toward prayer, scripture, and spiritual counsel. This stage is also a time to mentor, to guide others from one’s deep well of life experience. A Vanaprastha becomes a quiet pillar of the community, not seeking praise, but giving presence. The Vanaprastha vision says: this is your time to grow within, to write, meditate, teach, travel spiritually. It reframes aging as sacred evolution."

Finally, Sannyasa is where he "lets go of all identity, giving up all attachments to possessions, roles, name, ego. He is now inwardly free".

WHAT NEXT?

The first mention of Siddha was through Dr Krishnan, whom I patronized to chart and know my horoscope, and for all my Siddha herbal medicines beginning in 1996. When I was called to worship the Siddhas in the Nadi reading in 2002, the Dr prepared Agathiyar's Yantra and passed me his Mantra. Then Tavayogi initiated me officially into the path and pointed me to and asked me to frequent the local chapter of his Peedham, which he had come to officiate in 2005, to learn more. But Agathiyar, after my second Nadi reading several days later, asked him to take me under his wings instead. And so my journey began. Rather than have me listen to his teaching, Tavayogi brought me into nature and into the jungles and caves that he had been to and stayed in during his years of search. On another visit in 2007, he taught me certain Yoga techniques that began to bring on an internal transformation without my knowledge until Agathiyar brought it to my attention. I continued worship of the Siddhas until Agathiyar brought it to a halt in the wake of the pandemic in 2019. He had me go within. After teasing me with a string of gifts over the years that I refused to accept, Agathiyar finally offered to make me a Siddha. 

Who is a Siddha? Asking "Copilot," it brings up the following.

A Siddha is a term used in Indian religions and philosophy to describe a perfected being or spiritual master who has attained a high level of enlightenment and supernatural abilities. The concept of Siddhas appears in Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, and Tantric traditions.

- In Hinduism, Siddhas are enlightened yogis who have transcended the ego and achieved spiritual liberation.

- In Jainism, Siddhas are liberated souls who have destroyed all karmas and attained moksha (freedom from the cycle of birth and death).

- In Tantric traditions, Siddhas are ascetics who have mastered mystical practices and attained supernatural powers known as siddhis.

Siddhas are often associated with deep meditation, wisdom, and spiritual transformation. In South India, the Siddha tradition is particularly revered, with many ancient sages believed to have possessed extraordinary knowledge of medicine, alchemy, and yoga.

Reading the above, I tell myself I do not fit into any of the above. There is not even an inch or a shadow of these in me. I tend to agree with my wife that what Agathiyar is saying is to ask me to stay with him and on his path, and he shall eventually make me one in the future or in another birth, since he told me once that we have come a long way together. Supramania Swami, too, in closing the window of his hamlet and shutting off the view of the Arunachala hill, explained that he could not see it anymore, for it was fiery. He added that he saw Siddhas and Rishis go about their chores on the hill, and surprised me by saying that he saw me amidst them too. Tavayogi told me that he came to know that he was an old soul who lived with Agathiyar in the way past and came again to lead us away from the web of Maya and illusion. After his demise, a devotee was shown in her dream where Tavayogi was seated on a boat with many others clad in white, and Lord Siva was rowing the boat across a waterway towards a hill where Siddhas and Rishis went about their work. Dhavantri, in coming to us, told us that Tavayogi was in the form of light. Agathiyar told us that since Tavayogi was doing their work in their realm, he, Agathiyar, had to come guide us now. 

J. Krishnamurti, who was groomed to lead the Theosophical Society, was seen by the Society as the vehicle for a coming world teacher and was clothed, trained, and revered. When many desire position,  power, and authority and cannot seem to let go, he gave it all back, telling his followers that "Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path, whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect." He began to walk alone and invited others, not to follow him, but to walk alone as well. I guess this is what Agathiyar made me do, too, by bringing down the shutters to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), for many had dreams and visions of this group expanding and flourishing further, and had plans for it. Just as Krishnamurti "returned to silence, not the silence of withdrawal but the silence that is born when the noise of thoughts subsides, a silence that is not created but revealed, a silence that is", Agathiyar has me stay in solitude and be silent, doing nothing these days. Just as Krishnamurti's "life was simple, a small house, a garden, long walks, conversations with friends, the scent of flowers in the air" and he "loved nature not sentimentally but deeply, watching the movement of trees, the stillness of mountains, the flight of birds not as symbols but as revelations of beauty that asked for nothing", and "did not cling to the known, burying his thought, memory, and identity" and "prepared for death without preparing, dying each day", seeing death as "not the end, not an event, simply the unfolding of what had always been, an unknowable mystery, not to be conquered but to be embraced", I can boldly say that I fit into this, but not the description of a Siddha as mentioned above. 

Should I then look forward to the offer, or should I reject it as I did all the other offers before this? I would rather be another J.Krishnamurti than adorn the robe of a Siddha. I would rather be another Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal who broke free from the tag and label of a Siddha, too. Like them, I would like to remain and be known simply as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa till my last days.

SILENCE 3

It was one of the quietest moments, a rare moment itself in the outskirts of the city. The hustle and bustle of traffic that flowed through the main road that cuts across the small housing scheme had died down. The dogs that barked the whole day long and that were supposed to keep watch in the night too had retired for the day together with their masters. The continuous chirping of the birds in the day was momentarily substituted by the occasional outburst of the cricket, known as the night singer. The fireflies flew from one street lamp to the other and finally disappeared out of view. The moon shone brightly in the sky, a scene missed by most of the city dwellers who had to turn in early to wake up early for another day of stressful work. I too entered my prayer room to spend some precious time with my Guru Agathiyar.

As the silence became more intense blocking out the remaining noise of the neighbours' air conditioners, only the sound of my breath was obvious. Soon even that was no more obvious to my hearing. In that moment of deep silence, I felt Agathiyar's presence. I opened my eyes. His bronze statue shone in the light of the oil lamp that keeps burning 24/7. I closed my eyes again. I heard him sigh. I opened my eyes again. There was no visible movement whatsoever. I asked him in silence what was the matter. He remained quiet. Then he spoke. 

"I am disappointed with my children."

I was taken aback. I listened on without interrupting. He continued.

"They think of me only as an astrologer. They think of me only as a shaman. They think of me only as a mediator. They think about me only when in trouble. They come to me asking to settle their debts. They come running to me for a solution or cure at most times. At other times they do not care to remember me."

At this juncture, my mind raced back into time where I had heard a similar lament from both my previous gurus. Supramania Swami lamented that they never asked what he wanted but instead desired their needs to be fulfilled. Tavayogi lamented that they came for material gains and not Gnana. 

Agathiyar continued.

"I am their conscience. Why did not they listen to me speak through their conscience then? It is sad that they had buried me long ago. They act without conscience today. As they came to see all things external, so too have I had the need to build temples externally to bring them to face their conscience externally. They came before me and stood in prayer asking for guidance there. They left their problems at my feet and returned home relieved. They did little bits of charity at these places of worship then. Soon man began seeking self-made godman for remedies. As a result, they found themselves loose hefty sums in finding remedies and solutions to their problems. I have sung about these in my Gnana Nool. But the practice or worship soon evolved into fear for me, instilled by those who took advantage of these poor souls. Instead of love and devotion in worship towards me they did things out of fear, lest they should earn the wrath of the Gods, they were told. The element of fear was instilled in them instead of love for their creator. 

Then there came a time they lost even that remaining fear. They stopped believing. I was the stone and the rock in the temple. They stopped patronizing my abodes. Soon there was no means of sustaining these temples just as there was no means to end their troubles. The priests who had a full-time job of taking care of me and my abode had no income. They had to seek other means of survival. The temples were deserted. Charity lost its hold. True devotees were hard to come by. I had to move too as they say to greener pastures, into the homes and the hearts of my devotees who were yearning for me. I had been travelling a lot since, seeking the homes and hearts of my devotees."

"Today I can only watch in sadness as man moves on with his life indifferent to my existence. I would sit in a corner and watch the world go by. Lobamitra would observe me from a distance not wanting to disturb my thoughts. Occasionally she would walk up to me and enquire about my silence and what was in my thoughts. I would share with her my observation. She would listen intently not saying a word. Finally, she would distract my thoughts pulling me away from falling deeper and further into the world of the mortals. I would then return to my tapas. I am in tapas in your home too. If the need arises to be in Kallar or Pothigai or Kailash I leave immediately. Otherwise, I prefer to be here in your humble dwelling."

And so saying the Mahamuni went back within into a state of silence. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart with tears of joy running down both my cheeks. No audible words came out from my lips, except for the tears that kept flowing endlessly like the Ganges. A sense of coolness crept into me. It was as if I was drenched in bliss. Some energy traversed throughout me. It would have lifted me from the floor if I did not forcibly force myself to be grounded. A broad smile broke out on my face involuntarily which soon turned to a loud burst of laughter from within, that was beyond my control. Was this bliss I wondered, later? We both remained silent for some time. He broke the silence again. 

"I have told my children about the importance of several practices through your writings. But it seems it does not register well with them. Except for a few who have started heeding your words, that are my words, the rest think it is of no immediate urgency. They think it can wait. Let me tell them that there is no moment more precious than the present; there is no life more precious than the present. It is now or never. If you do not do it this moment, the much-awaited moment never comes. You will never find another appropriate moment other than now. You have to create that moment. You are partnered in creation with me. Besides me, you too are given the gift of creation, sustenance, and that of wrecking and destroying. Sadly man is prone to postponing or delaying his own plans. But the divine plan takes place as scheduled. Death comes as scheduled. Do not postpone the rare appointment given to you to meet Me. You might never get another moment with Me."

"You understand very well and have made it known in your writings numerous times. I am available to my devotees through the good gestures you and your wife have done and the facilities built and made available around you. You have provided them access to me in your home through the many years of your worship. I come because of you. I make myself present to all because of your worship. I want them to worship me just as you worshipped me all these years. I too want to move into their homes. I too want to move into their hearts. I want to be constantly with them 24/7. But they have to invite me in first. Only if they invite me with an open heart can I visit and settle in their homes and hearts."

Then he moved on to mention the infighting his devotees had amongst them that again caught me by surprise. I guess he was opening up to me just as I had opened up to him all these years. Our moments of engagement in talking, being monologue as in the past had stopped; instead, it has evolved into a dialogue. He had literally spoken to me and we had a conversation a year and a half back. He spoke to the rest of his devotees too at his temple at Carey Island. That was amazing having the Mahamuni address us through a person, to our knowledge, for the very first time. He was apparently not happy with his children fighting among themselves. He wanted it all to end. He said he had summoned some of them. But only two of his dearest children turned up not because of fear but out of love for him. I felt sad too. I listened quietly. He went into a state of silence again something he does often only to come out of it to say what needed to he said, often returning to his domain of silence. The silence prolonged. I moved away from the room - his room, to let him be with his thoughts. I knew he had moved on to attend to his numerous duties and other matters.

Posted originally on Tuesday, 28 May 2019

SILENCE 2

There is so much clutter and noise all around us. No, I don't mean what we are seeing visibly in the physical world. It is all around us, as in thoughts, ideologies, doctrines, etc. Just as the doctors and Siddha physicians go to the root cause of our medical issues rather than attending to what is visible, everything begins from the space where thoughts are generated. In silencing these thoughts, every other thing settles down. But it is truly a battle. One can physically overthrow another in battle, but not these thoughts that keep coming like missiles one after another. What is it like to be in a thoughtless state?

The Buddha asks us to hold on to a single thought, as it would help subdue the rest. In connecting with nature, we can achieve some progress, for it too is silent. I guess this is the reason rather than bring out a sacred text and read it out to me, Tavayogi during the days of my stay at his Kallar Ashram in 2005 took me into the jungles and the caves to be with nature. It is only when the other speaks and we reply or vice versa that a continuous chain of thoughts comes on as further speech, replies, and conversation. I guess this is the reason we are told that Lord Dhakshanamurti finally remained silent before his four students, as no amount of discussion helped them attain Gnanam. Muruganar shares this story that he heard from Bhagawan Ramana himself.

"When the four-aged Sanakadi Rishis first saw the sixteen-year-old Sri Dakshinamurti sitting under the banyan tree, they were at once attracted by him, understanding him to be the real Sadguru. They approached him, did three Pradakshinas around him, prostrated before him, sat at his feet, and began to ask very shrewd and pertinent questions about the nature of Reality and the means of attaining it. Because of the great compassion and fatherly love (Vatsalya) that he felt for his aged disciples, the young Sri Dakshinamurti was overjoyed to see their earnestness, wisdom, and maturity, and hence he gave apt replies to each of their questions. As he answered each consecutive question, further doubts rose in their minds and still they asked further questions. Thus they continued to question Sri Dakshinamurti, for one whole year, and he continued to clear their doubts through his compassionate answers. Finally, however, Sri Dakshinamurti understood that if he gave more answers to their questions more doubts would rise in their minds and hence there would never be an end to their ignorance (Ajnana). Therefore, suppressing even the feeling of compassion and fatherly love that was welling up within him, he merged himself into the supreme silence. Because of their great maturity (which had been ripened to perfection through their year-long association with the Sadguru), as soon as Sri Dakshinamurti thus merged himself, they too were automatically merged within, into silence, the state of Self."

Richard Schiffman, in his "Sri Ramakrishna – A Prophet for the New Age", Paragon House, 1989, writes about the significance and depth of silence. Silence is potent. In silence, the walls that separate the guru and disciple cease to exist, he adds. Both their hearts meet. In these hours of silence, the "self" speaks with the "higher self". In silence, there is neither giving nor receiving. Just being in each other's presence. We learn from Ruzbeh Bharucha's writings that sitting in silence, disenchantment sets in as we delve deeper and deeper into a state of silence. Agathiyar often calls me over to sit with him in silence and in meditation in the midst of attending to his devotees. 

T.R. Kanakammal wrote in the "Mountain Path", that Bhagawan Ramana except when he answered questions, abided in the natural state of absolute silence. His Upadesa was mainly through silence. T.K. Sundaresa Iyer wrote "Sri Bhagavan sat and sat in His usual pose, no, poise. No words, no movement, and all was stillness! He sat still, and all sat still, waiting. The clock went on striking, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, one, two, and three. Sri Bhagavan sat and they sat. Stillness, calmness, motionlessness – not conscious of the body, of space or time. Thus eight hours were passed in Peace, in Silence, in Being, as It is. Thus was the Divine Reality taught through the speech of Silence by Bhagavan Sri Ramana (Dakshinamurthy). At the stroke of 4 a.m. Sri Bhagavan quietly said: “And now have you known the essence of the Dakshinamurti Hymn."

In sitting alone be it in nature or if we can find the time and space in our own homes, what remains after the thoughts have settled down is the awareness of the breath in us. If initially, during the initiation in Malaysia, Tavayogi told me that Agathiyar's name and mantra were that of God, he showed me the painting and later the fiber statue of Agathiyar as God upon arrival at his Ashram. Coming down the stairs of Nattatreeswarar Temple he told me that both Siva and Agathiyar were one. Just before leaving, he tells me that the breath was God. This was Tavayogi's final definition of God, that the breath was God. This is the thread. Holding on to it we reach God or rather immerse in God.

SILENCE 1

Mrs Kogie Pillai wrote, "Aiya, Krishnamurthi's piece you shared in the last post is so profound...I hope it hits the spot with at least 10 people out there." 

I would like to thank all readers for reading this blog. These are musings of a seeker still very much confused about many things, but attempting to fathom the truth that has been veiled by time and space. I feel we must share what we have learned with others, for not everybody can be present to hear them out at a particular forum, or might own a particular title or book, or might have heard from an original source. 

Right from day one, Agathiyar has been showering gifts on me. The day I came to him for a reading of the Nadi in 2002, he handed me his painting and a long list of names of Siddhas to be used in my home puja. At the end of the reading, he handed me a leaflet carrying my would-be guru's name, known back then in 2002 as Thaiveedu Thangarasan, without giving any hint or clue that I shall meet him in person, though he hinted that I shall meet my guru after I complete my Parikaram and pilgrimage to India. The following year, he brought me before my very first guru, Supramania Swami, on the pretext of charting the horoscope for my second daughter, after I finished my last leg of my maiden pilgrimage to India. I did not realize he was the guru Agathiyar had mentioned in the Nadi until after bidding farewell and traveling back to my hotel. I was not aware back then that Swami would pass over all the merits of his forty years of Tapas and austerities before he passed away in 2007. Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, the name on the leaflet I received in 2002, came along in 2005 and later in 2007 passed me what Agathiyar calls a heritage in the form of a set of Yoga exercises, Asanas, and Pranayama. Taking it up, I saw an immense surge of Prana come within. Unknowing to me, I began to go through an internal transformation that gradually took place, and erupted in bodily pains and discomfort in stages and phases in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2016, 2018, 2022, and again currently. Just as in the movie "Twister," we hear the following: "You don't face your fears, you ride them", Agathiyar also taught me to endure the bodily pains and ride the fear that was attached to it, all a result of and that came with the internal transformation. Giving me a taste of death in 2022, he asked that I do not fear it, for he comforted me, saying it was yet another door to another journey. 

Coming to me in the form of a statue in 2010, he walked in me as my soul resided momentarily in his statue, giving counsel and healing others. As I wanted nothing to do with this any further, he immediately stopped it. Later, asking me where I would go and to whom I would turn if I were faced with troubles, he made me realize the need for me to listen to others and give him access and room to do his thing. 

Giving me the privilege to build his temple in 2002 and that of Lord Muruga in 2018, when I did not pursue it after my initial move to do so, only met with disappointment, finally, in 2019, he told me that he had tested me. When many sought out to own the Nadi, I refused his gift. 

Seeing that holding public office comes with its problems, and being the head of a movement ashram or a guru, for that matter, has its trying moments too, I shied away from undertaking such roles. Sending many to attend my home puja and embarking later on doing charity on a large scale, having played them out, when cornered, he had me bring the shutters down after six years. I was blessed that I was able to let them go. I am glad I did, for I am truly free these days. 

Then he offered to make me a guru, which he immediately reversed and indicated that he would make me something else. What has he in store for me, I wonder? What if I were to be given the position to rule Indralokham just as he had given Thondar Adi Podi Azhwar? But Azhwar refused to take up this position, preferring to take in his beauty here. He sang that, "I shall not desire, even if offered, the position of the ruler of Indralokham, in place of enjoying the sight of you here, Oh lord who dwells here in Srirangam."

பச்சைமா மலைபோல் மேனி பவளவாய் கமலச் செங்கண் 

அச்சுதா. அமர ரேறே. ஆயர்தம் கொழுந்தே. என்னும், 

இச்சுவை தவிர யான்போய் இந்திர லோக மாளும், 

அச்சுவை பெறினும் வேண்டேன் அரங்கமா நகரு ளானே 

(Source: https://periscope-narada.blogspot.com/2016/01/pachchai-mamalai-pol-meni.html)

Just as the saints saw Siddhantham and Vedantham as two eyes and visions to attain sainthood, seeing God in the external helps keep our ego in check, knowing that there is a higher authority. On the contrary, knowing that we are God and Buddha might corrupt our very being, which has seen so much effort on our part and work done on us by the Siddhas over the years. The Siddhas are like what Simon and Garfunkel wrote, the "Bridge Over Troubled Waters", where we can safely trust them to be the bridge and walk along with us and help us walk across if only we let down our ego and seek their guidance and follow. 

Every minute is a step towards death. We fail to realize that birthdays invite death closer. Say, if you are given just days to live, would you spend the rest of these days with your loved one, seeing to the needs of others, or live your lives fully, fulfilling the remaining desires? The future is bleak for many. Just speaking to them for a minute or so, their darkness begins to envelope us, too. But for some others, life is a gift to enjoy. Which would you choose? The choice is ours. There is no right or wrong. 

When Agathiyar gave, what seemed, over time, like broken promises for some, as the predictions had not taken place or had yet to happen, I voiced out this concern, not wanting Agathiyar to turn out a liar, while talking to my wife. She asked me whether he had mentioned a specific date or given a time frame when it would happen. Her question did make sense. No. Indeed, he never mentioned that, but only pointed out the possibility or fact. It could be now or in the way in the future, or it might be in another birth. 

When I was cornered to ask for something too, when many others and I sat before him, putting on my thinking cap in desperation for an answer as he was waiting, I asked to be born again and again and serve him as I did now. I learned that apparently that was not what one should desire, as he asked me further if that was what I wanted. Later, I figured out that I should be asking for Gnanam, which was harped on by Tavayogi often. Agathiyar, on his next visit, said it was not gifted, but I had to earn it by traveling the Chakras. 

Then he surprises me by telling me he will make me a Siddha. So when Agathiyar says he will make me a Siddha, it might not happen overnight. It might take many more years or most likely be in a future birth. Like always, I have not given it much importance nor held any expectations for then we shall become frustrated. I shall do what needs to be done now and not eye the results or the final destination, as I had written earlier, anything can happen between now and then. 

Just as he had wiped the slate clean several times, beginning with clearing all my readings and bookish knowledge, he had me clear my belongings and possessions, like the precious stones and Rasamani I had worn on me. He had me let go of my hold on the society, and the position that came with the coming of devotees who were sent by him, to my home, and he had me dissolve the group after six years. He had me let go of even his idol, and wants me to eventually let him go too. Days ago, he erased all the memories captured on all forms of media, the books, the audio and videos, recordings of the Nadi readings, and whenever he came through other devotees, and many more that I had stored in an external hard disk. I only have those as memories now, which might fade away too, as my memory fails eventually. I guess he wants me to live in the moment, in the present. 

Though I am in society and with the family, he has cut me off internally these days. I am just existing. Nothing further needs to be done, perfected, or achieved. It is like coming home. It is a homecoming to the times before Lord Nadaraja opened his eyes, moved his feet to dance, and spoke. It is akin to stepping into the period and phase of inactivity and silence. 

It is not proper for me to expect others, with many other matters suffocating them and asking for their attention and action, to give equal attention and time to reflecting on the past. I, being a pensioner, have all the time to sit alone with such thoughts, whiling away these moments doing nothing.

THE ANGELS ARE CRYING

Mrs Kogie Pillai wrote the following in her latest post, "Surmounting Toxic Surroundings" at https://aaksharawellness.blogspot.com/2025/06/surmounting-toxic-surroundings.html

I awoke this morning to a “reality” in which we live, specific to the confines of my living environment.  I glossed over the daily news and there it was again; crime, violence, government corruption, poverty, high levels of unemployment, collapsed infrastructure, ailing economy, failed efforts at service delivery and more. This was just within the ambit of my small, little world.  On a global level we see extended patterns of poverty, economic inequalities,  political corruption, water scarcity, food insecurity, terrorism, political instability, conflict and wars, fear of more pandemics, serious levels of crime such as smuggling of drugs, human trafficking, murder, robberies, money laundering, the threat of artificial intelligence.  Not good news to wake up to on any day.

We see the underlying sadness in her writing. Indeed, we are sad and concerned. 

Sir David Attenborough has boldly asked us to wake up to the alarming reality that mankind has brought much damage to this beautiful and wonderful world of ours. 

We are not alone watching this "reality" take place. The angels, too, are crying as in this video.  

I remember Agathiyar reminding me to walk tall and with pride that we are his children. He also told me that if I shed tears, he too shall. Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya, in his blog "Siththan Arul," wrote the following, which goes to show the amount of concern, compassion, and grace of the Siddhas again. It is said that the Siddhas approached Lord Brahma and voiced a similar concern to him in the days of the past. The Siddhas had wished that whoever seeks them out for solutions to their problems and surrenders to them, shall be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and shall not be put through the trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences, but instead be saved. As Agathiyar did not give up on his devotees and insisted that Lord Brahma change their fate, it is written that Brahma tells him that he cannot stop the incident from happening, but he can reduce the repercussions or effects as a result of that event. Agathiyar pleads to Brahma, telling him that he believes all should be saved and that their fate should be changed. Agathiyar humbly requests that Brahma change the Karma of all those who came seeking him (Agathiyar) as he had given his word to them. He seeks Brahma's word of promise that he would not harm any of his devotees. 

On an individual basis, the most compassionate Erai has given us ways to redo, correct, and come out of the rut we are in because of our past doings. He has given us a tool called free will to make a better future for us, to free ourselves from the hold of this Karma, and in the saints, be freed from the cycle of birth and death. Agathiyar and the saints offer options to reduce the past Sanchita Karma, which determines our future births. Man is the only creation of Erai who can change his fate and destiny by working on his Karma and his duties.

But at times, in reality, Agathiyar's hands are tied too. Lord Siva would override the wishes that Agathiyar places before him regarding his devotees and their families and have things take their course for reasons only known to him (Lord Siva). But as at other times, as in coming through in the moments of meditation of a devotee at the height of the pandemic, Lord Siva asked us to gather together and conduct a Homam to assist Prapanjam or Mother Nature, fight the dreaded virus. We did as told. Later, Prapanjam herself, coming through another devotee, asked us to help her keep it at bay, preventing another recurrence. We did as told.

WHEN DANGER LURKS

Going by the various stories about Agathiyar shared on the net, it makes us wonder and ask if Agathiyar was their cousin. I came to him through a Nadi reading in 2002 and have yet to know that man. He or is it she, is truly mysterious in all manner. Does God have a gender? No one has lived long enough to know him and share about him. What is available is the written word. But then we are told that the written form of the Tamil language was pretty different in the days of these Siddhas. What compounds it is the narrative and translation that followed, as well as the many possible additions and omissions to these texts and the written word. So is it with stories by way of mouth. It is unlikely that we shall come to know the truth. Could this be the reason Buddha avoided answering questions about God? Could this be why Agathiyar avoided answering questions about him and his origin?

After staying faithful to him and his cause, and refusing all the offers and gifts, Agathiyar tried to entice me with a further gift, what every student would fall for - to fill the shoes of his guru, to become a clone of his guru, carrying out the tradition and repeating the gurus words. But as I stood firm on my resolution, just as masters in the past are known to send away their students when they lose a certain amount of ignorance and attain a certain amount of Gnanam, he finally set me free and never to live under the shadow of the guru. He gave me my freedom. 

For one who has traveled the beaten track, nothing surprises him. That was Tavayogi and Supramania Swami. The latter, during my very first meeting with him in 2003, sitting before him on the pretext of charting the horoscope of my second daughter, instead of doing so, he revealed my future. He spoke about the Siddhas and Rishis going about their chores on the Holy hill Arunachala. He surprised me by saying that he saw me there too. On my second visit in 2005, asking the reason he had hung up a gunny sack across the window from where he could have sight of the Holy hill 24/7, he replied that the hill was fiery and that he could not see it. If we need to be physically present to connect with another, or connect through the phone or social media, the saints and gurus connect with us through thoughts and messages that come to them, and through them. 

Agathiyar finally told me that he would make me a Siddha. But between now and the day that happens, so many things can happen or go wrong. I could rock the boat and mess up my life. I could do damage to my reputation and his, too. I could end up in a scandal. I could fall into disgrace for Mara, or Maya is known to lure even Buddha and the Rishis. As such, what are we but weaklings? Can his grace protect me from all the dangers that lurk out there, or rather has taken abode within? Ego and arrogance, dishonesty and lies, sexual urges that peak, and scandals are but some of the dangers that lurk by. We have seen many a holy man fall from grace at the peak of their "professional career". The gods test us, and even the gods are tested. One has to stay vigilant and pray that he does not slip. We tend to miss the boat most of the time. If we are lucky and if the boat comes along again, we might get another chance. But as they say, opportunity knocks only once; we might never board the boat. 

TAVAYOGI

Neither my gurus taught me. They did not hold classes. They did not pass on books to read or recommend. Instead, they had me travel the path, taking small steps and working on the mantras, practice, and techniques. They showed by example rather than preaching. The very first lesson that I failed to understand back then in 2005 came in the form of a strong and unexpected statement from Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. In my excitement to have him over at my home, I went overboard thanking his presence. He hit back that I was living in Maya, thinking that he had something hidden beneath his safron robes. Though I was confused and disturbed at his reaction towards my joy in having him over, I am thankful to him for breaking the hold on him that would have eventually come about. Instead, he pointed me to Agathiyar and told me to hold on tight to him. How many gurus would shove away a seeker, student, apprentice, servant, disciple? Agathiyar, too, sometime back, asked that I shed my hold on him too, for how else are we to become one, he asked. Later, he asked if he should make me a guru and immediately reversed on his suggestion and replied, 'No, I shall make you a ...... instead'.

Tavayogi brought me into the jungles, walking the path he had traveled in the days of roaming as a mendicant. I tasted his life, sleeping in caves and living with nature. He conducted Siddha puja in my home, and we followed suit by watching him. There were no rules or conduct imposed on us. There were no texts or books to follow. We were free to experiment. The Siddhas and deities also gave us leeway in conducting these rituals. He did numerous Yoga postures and breathing practices, and we followed. He did not correct or help us out. It was a one-time affair, and we had to remember all the movements shown to us. Agathiyar, in later years, gave me leeway to carry out only those that I deem necessary. After the initial mass initiation he gave to six others besides me and my wife, the others came in passing or as I sat before him in later years. The ball was on my court. I had to practice them diligently. He never enquired about them or my practice. He sowed the seeds and moved on, never looking back for a moment to check on me, just as he brought me into the jungles, never for once turning back to check if I was keeping up with him. He never was attached to his disciples. It was all professional. He was there to show, and it was left to us to learn and follow. Today, I am glad that he was the way he was. This was the way the Siddhas nurtured their students. He was an exemplary Siddha and guru. 

Mrs Kogie Pillai from South Africa, who was equally charmed by Tavayogi and his manners, shared a few pages from J.Krishnamurti's book, "The First Step is the Last Step", where Krishnamurti sums it up writing that "Nothing must be repeated which one has not oneself perceived, which one has not lived. It is not yours, therefore it is not original. It is secondhand, therefore utterly valueless. To find out what truth is, to come upon it, the mind must be free of all imitation and conformity. The mind must be free of the word, the image, and the past. And that is the first step and the last step." 

IT IS ALL A DREAM

Bringing me to the doorstep of the temple, my parents pointed me to God as residing in this place and was to be worshipped in the form and image as depicted and placed in it. Bakthi or devotion towards God arose in our hearts. This was the start of Sariyai. We pour out our problems before them and often fail to thank them for all the pleasantries in life. Coming to the Siddhas, they showed me rituals that I took up personally to bridge our worlds and bring them into our homes and lives. This was the start of Kriyai. They began to lead us on. They asked us to share the piece of cake with others less fortunate. Compassion and love for others began to blossom from within our hearts. With the coming of the guru in physical form, we stepped into Yogam that began to shape our internals, ridding them of the toxic poisons that we had accumulated for years, both in the body and mind. A deep cleansing took place. The junk files and recycle bins were cleared. Stepping into Gnanam after having traveled through the purified Chakras, our being was defragmented and consolidated to create space and emptiness in our hard disk. We were born anew, performing as a new hard disk or Solid State Drive would. We now enter another dimension, not that of a terrestrial in nature, but entering the divine space that is the inner chamber of the temple within, where God resides and was shown to us once upon a time by our parents. We are shown the heart of God that is all merciful, forgiving, full of love, and compassion. We arrive where we started. Looking back then we realize that we never went anywhere. It was all a dream that we have now woken up from. 

SETTLING IN THE SELF

Just as the Paintress in the game "Clair Obscur Expedition 33" erases and wipes out all those born in a particular year, Lord Siva wiped out all my reading and learning on religion, the Agamas, tradition, and customs. He left me empty for some 13 years before he fed me with ever-fresh learnings from the Siddhas. Coming to the fold of the Siddhas, he fills me with rituals, practices, and techniques, brings me to do charity, and then, after some 18 years, wipes it all away, and has me leave my association with other fellow seekers on the path too. He wiped off all my association with relatives, schoolmates, collegemates, officemates, neighbors, friends, and society, leaving behind only a handful I meet daily.

Just as the signs of impending danger or disease are there, the lessons were shrouded all over and often repeatedly told to us, but we fail to grasp them. It takes time and maturity that comes with age to bring our attention and understanding towards them. But it is often too late, unless we make a concerted effort to change overnight. I am no saint, yet he took me in under his wings and groomed me to become one of his kind, not a clone, but a unique person. Agathiyar had me go on a pilgrimage, which is part of Sariyai, after revealing about Karma to soften its hold on us, not magically but with and by the trouble we take to see it through. He had me carry out rituals that are a part of Kriyai to further burn the remaining in the external fire. He had me exhaust the last remnants of Karma in the internal fire of Yoga. Stepping into Gnanam after having accumulated the lessons learned and experiences gained, he removed the remaining ignorance in me. Asking me not to take the blame entirely for all my past acts, he revealed that he had pushed me into those situations and moments, prompting me to err and sin for the sake of wanting those experiences, too, telling me I needed to know, feel, and learn both the good and bad. There was no right and wrong in his view. It was all an experience to be acquired and move on. That is the love and compassion of Agathiyar, a man who became godly, or rather God, coming to us, to help us shed the hold of Maya and revealing his true form. 

Just as Buddha said, we replace a thousand thoughts with one and let it go, too, initially, we drop our desires and wishes, replace them with those of Agathiyar's and the guru, and eventually, even that has to drop too as we settle in the Self that is awareness and existence.

IT IS WE WHO DECIDE

Life is full of choices and even Agathiyar leaves us to decide for ourselves. Life is a series of events, and we tend to determine it right from the moment we begin to make decisions. Although the Nadi was mentioned to me way back in 1996 by Dr. Krishnan when I used to visit him, it did not move me enough to want to see it back then. I did not look up for any Nadi reader. It was not important back then. Nor did it arose my curiousity. But when my friend Muralitaran Saminathan spoke about his experience to me in 2002, in reading the Kaanda Nadi for himself in 2000, I became excited to know my past, present, and future that the Siddhas could reveal. When he made an appointment for me, I came face to face with several choices. 

Agathiyar, giving a painting of his and a small booklet of hymns to start the journey, called me to worship the Siddhas, which I did immediately upon returning home. I could have kept them aside and gone on with my routine. But when I adjusted my life to include puja to the Siddhas and allocated some time to it, a whole new world opened up. I had access to their world. I had their grace. They began to guide me henceforth through subsequent Aasi Nadi readings, some 56 times. 

Agathiyar asked me to go to India on a pilgrimage, which I embarked on in 2003. I could have opted not to. But when I did as asked the pilgrimage ended in my meeting my first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. 

Agathiyar moved me to meet my second guru, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, when he stepped on our soil two years later. 

My gurus molded me further. 

I opened up to the many opportunities that knocked on my door, not knowing what I was stepping into. I did not ponder nor think, or hesitate to carry out what was asked of me. 

Agathiyar sent several youths to join my family and me in puja, and when I accepted them, my home evolved into Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). He introduced us to carrying out charity that gave rise to the group Amudha Surabhi. We brought the Siddha puja into the corridors of the temples after our Paramaguru Chitramuthu Adigal, coming in a Jeeva Nadi reading, asked us to begin it at the Taiping Taneermalai temple where he had spent years in meditation. Agathiyar had me write this blog, which has reached out to many worldwide. 

Putting me through the test to see if I was ready to let go, he now began to work on me. In the wake of the pandemic, he decided that it was all enough and brought the shutters down, asking me to stay indoors, in solitude, and to go within. He left the others to either take up the cause or go about their lives. They opted for the second. He worked on the energies that had arisen after picking up the Yoga techniques learned from Tavayogi in 2007. Today I am trying to manage these energies with his help.

Life is full of opportunities that come knocking on our doors. We should learn to recognize them and take up the call. We should pursue it till it is decided that we let go of it too. We are not here to bring along the results of these opportunities but only the experiences gained. This would one day become Gnanam and release us for good from the hold that this birth has on us. 

Imagine my life if I had not taken up any of those opportunities. Where would I be today? 

Then there were moments when I had refused to take up certain tasks asked of me, for instance be a medium for them to heal and a guru, and to build a temple. I am glad that I refused the many gifts that they were prepared to confer on me. Imagine my life caught up in carrying out healing, reading the Nadi, managing the temple and preaching for life . Today I am left alone to do whatever I please. There is no puja, rituals, charity, satsangs, preaching, talks, practice, etc. My home is back being a home. A mountain is back being a mountain. I am at peace with myself, contended and full. I spent time with my grandchildren living in their world of fantasy. 

WALKING ALONE

Going over to meet my friendly neighborhood Siddha physician yesterday to collect my second installment of herbal medicine that Agathiyar had asked me to take in liew of the changes that according to him was taking place within, and speaking to the former, I learned a lesson that we are here only to sow and move on without looking back to see if the seeds have germinate. Pondering over what we had talked for an hour or so later, I came to realize that I, who had all this while carried no ambition, desire or wishes, and pushed away all the gifts that Agathiyar wanted to confer on me, had been carrying the desires and wishes of Agathiyar and Tavayogi to see many come to the fold and flourish too, all this while. 

Most of us need someone to organize an event, whether a puja or running charity programs. We prefer to attend rather than spearhead these tasks, which would need our time, effort, and money. Those truly dedicated to the cause who do not wait for another but initiate these are the beacons that shine forever. Seeing many come and go, I had initially carried anger and frustration as they opted to leave the path. I started taking the blame for my failure to lure and keep them on track. But after reading J. Krishnamurthi's thoughts and speeches and talks, I understood that it was a pathless path, that there was no path. Indeed, each is a unique journey that does not have a parallel to compare notes with. I fully understand now why Agathiyar wound up AVM and had me walk solo. Krishnamurthi did the same, too. As long as we are engaged in work, be it for our earthly existence or others, or work in the spiritual sphere, we are feeding our Ego. As my wife said, we were getting high on it; it is in letting go and doing nothing that the ego is shed, and we "arrive" home. 

From https://awakentheworld.com/the_pathless_path/, we come across these beautiful statements and truths.

• The ancient mystics, yogis and seers have said that everything is primordial awareness, or non-dual consciousness which is simultaneously emptiness and form (all that is)....

• In Vedanta it is called turiya, the fourth state, the ground of your existence.  It is always aware and yet is not separate from what is observed.... 

• Do not seek enlightenment or extraordinary states of being, since all seeking is the activity of the ego. 

• The path is a stripping away of illusion, a letting go of identification with a limited self, so that one wakes up exactly where one is.... 

Agathiyar, as usual, has steered us away from the numerous traps laid out there. It was time I let go of my purpose, and that, that both Agathiyar and Tavayogi envisioned, as I did all the rest too. If I had learned to drop many things in my life, now I need to drop even the purpose. Only then would I truly exist in awareness, not doing something nor interfering. I think I have understood life, at least for now, for we know Agathiyar is fond of throwing surprises.

ARE WE READY?

The Siddhas do not do magic but assist us by all means to see our desires fulfilled. For this to take effect, they approach Lord Siva to permit them to help humanity. Hence, though the other saviors never want to mend things, telling us that all is well and is God's doing, the Siddhas came forward to change God's will and play. Agathiyar is said to have pleaded to Lord Brahma to change people's fate. But at times, they too are helpless. So too did he tell my wife that he would request an audience with Lord Siva to see if they could fulfill my wife's request to bring an end to her mother's sufferings. Later, he tells us that she has to go through what was fated and written for reasons only known to them. When a mother carried her dead son to Shirdi Sai, asking him to bring him to life, he refused. Later, his followers asked him the reason. He told them that the soul had already taken birth elsewhere. Imagine what would happen to the newborn if he were to give life to the child before him. When someone performed before Bhagawan Ramana, he praised the performer's performance. At another moment, when another wanted to do the same, Bhagawan Ramana told him to go do something useful. The followers were confused. Similarly, when a devotee who stayed back after the Purnami puja asked Tavayogi if he could wear the Rudraksha bead on him, he gave him the green light. Immediately after he left, Tavayogi turned to me and told me that we do not need it. What is meant for one might not apply to another. So what is written in this post might not sync with many, but only one who desperately needs to know now. For others, it would remain a story. No two people shall travel the same path. Family and friends, too, shall not travel with us. Each travels a path that is customized to his needs for that moment and governed by his own experiences. Contrary to the common belief that Siddhas only perform Siddhis, they are here to bring a revolution within us, helping us peel the "multiverse" that we have created and covered our true self, or Atma, with. The question is, are we ready for this adventure?

BUILDING THE FOUNDATION

Looking at the chronology of events and experiences that have led to this moment, I am glad and grateful to the pantheon of Gods and Goddesses shown to us through images, paintings and statues; the many forms that the divine takes to come to us both physically and through other subtle means; and the many teachings, practices and tools that came our way and the divine energies and Prapanjam shown to us as existing in nature, around us and within us.

I am grateful to the Chinese deities who saved my life as an infant. Since my parents had lost two children earlier to diarrhea, instead they took me this time around to the Chinese medium, who was a neighbor. I am grateful to my parents for showing me the path of Sariyai that includes home puja besides temple puja, and for all the Purana stories my parents told us. I am grateful to the Ceylonese family in our neighborhood whose kids used to drag me along to attend Thevaram classes conducted by an elderly man of Ceylonese origin, where I heard more stories from the Puranas. I am grateful to have attended the missionary school during my school days, where I spent my time at the chapel listening to stories from the Bible, and later subscribed to and received lessons on Christianity through the mail from a church in Singapore. I am grateful to the teachers at the Buddhist Vihara in our neighborhood, where I attended Sunday classes and heard stories of the Buddha's journey and teachings. I am grateful to the Muslim gardener of Pakistani origin at my college who used to travel with me on the bus and share stories from his sacred texts and later from Muslim colleagues and friends in my office. Armed with these assets, I began my journey, which initially started as an urge to know more about our customs, traditions, beliefs, and religion, and why we were doing things the way we did. Besides reading a lot, I took up personal puja both at dawn and dusk in my bachelor's home after I started my working career at twenty years of age. Eight years on, Lord Siva in a dream asked that I keep my questions to a later date, as I became disillusioned with the sacred texts describing God as loving and compassionate, while what I saw in the lives of relatives and friends was only misery, suffering, and tragedy. 

The thirteen-year pause and break that Lord Siva directed me to take came to an end in 2001, as the time was right to summon me back on track. The divine energies used their existing networks and, coming through and using my nephew as a tool, delivered a Mantra initiation. That mantra, besides clearing the knots within, prepared me to meet my guru, which I did a year later. Using my colleague as a tool to initiate the move to see the Nadi in 2002, Agathiyar, using me and my Karma as a module, explained all the doubts that I had previously questioned, including the injustice meted out by God to his devotees. He called me to the worship of the Siddhas. Using my wife as a tool to suggest that I draw up a horoscope chart for my second daughter during my maiden pilgrimage to India, he brought me to my very first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, an astrologer, the following year. Giving me a leaflet much earlier in 2002 that carried the name of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, he brought me to meet him in 2005. Tavayogi takes me in as his student. The journey began to unfold in all its beauty under the shadows of Supramania Swami and Tavayogi. If the former left me his entire forty years of merits gained from his austerities, the latter left me what Agathiyar calls a treasure in the form of Yogic practice. Now armed with these assets, I journeyed along with Agathiyar, continuing to guide us even after the demise of both my gurus in physical form. 

Agathiyar, who together with Tavayogi initiated me to carry out numerous tasks, today has let go of the hold on me and left me to be with myself, doing nothing. The journey has literally come to a still moment in time, devoid of any activity, puja, charity etc. I await to know my true purpose in coming here which he has promised to reveal. 

A WONDERFUL & UPLIFTING READ

Mrs Kogie Pillay has written a wonderful post at her https://aaksharawellness.blogspot.com/ She compares nature and man, who supposedly and arrogantly claims to be superior. She observes that "Trees go through a life cycle beginning as a seed, moving on to germination, seedling, sapling, mature tree, decline, and death or decay," and "Trees, plants, and greenery show extraordinary levels of resilience, regardless of exposure to favourable or unfavourable conditions. Depending on their location, physical structure, or exposure to threats, they use what they have to grow with health, adapt, survive, or thrive." 

She then poses the following question after observing nature at its best. 

This then begs the question: do they complain and how do they manage their existence effectively.  While it may appear unrealistic to compare the existence of flora to that of humans, would it be smart to ignore that much knowledge and wisdom can be gained from them.

She poses another question.

Our physiological structure, the manner in which we live, challenges, external factors, life purpose, threats etc differ vastly but given that we all fall within one macrocosm there must be similarities,  parallels, connections or relationships  we don’t recognise or give attention to, right?  Could intelligence be discerned from the humble tree which could potentially illumine the darkness we as humans grapple with on a daily basis? 

Our indoctrinated perception of being separate, different, incomparable, unique, superior or loftier than other creations limits us with a narrow keyhole perspective that obscures our mind from considering possibilities. The focus on characteristics that distinguish is problematic and obstructive.  Features such as shape, size, looks, colour, height, weight, physical and biological structure are perceptions of our outer self.  We must look deeper.  The ignorance of not expanding our vision  laterally and beyond, to grasp our likeness to everything surrounding us keeps us captured by maya, the master of illusion.  We perceive ourselves as different from  habitants in nature which diminishes the possibility of learning, acquiring insights or illumination from sources rich in knowledge and wisdom. 

What then can be drawn from the existence of entities in nature to enable us as humans to create, manage and live meaningfully, unaffected by the numerous common afflictions that bother us daily?

Having seen and studied "The Wisdom of Flora" and man's "Keyhole Perspective", she brings us to the "Four Qualities to Stretch our Thinking Beyond the Confines of the Human Mind".

She points to the need for us to have "Resilience". 

The development of resilience is probably one of the most important that should be prioritised by us.  Resilience can never be over developed and is the strength that enables one to experience life challenges with more hope, confidence and optimism, distinguishing one from those who struggle.  Life constantly throws challenges, trials and tribulations, hence strong resilience is essential to accept, understand, learn, realise and move on from adversities in a healthy manner.   Low levels of resilience tend to perpetuate feelings associated with giving up, losing hope and fearing new opportunities.  Resilience is a strong ace to ride the waves of life, embrace new experiences, dispel unfounded fear,  learn from previous disappointments and  approach daily life with more strength, faith and confidence.    Resilience naturally becomes eroded if one has experienced significant setbacks, challenges or disappointments over a long period.   However one can rise up from that by convincing oneself to see the upside of a situation.  Understandably not the easiest thing to do.  It is however useful to identify at least one positive aspect or benefit of a difficult situation each time they appear.  Over time and with sincere practice one builds confidence in challenging one’s challenge which reduces it’s  command over you.  Other strategies to build and nurture resilience include developing confidence, self-esteem, problem solving skills and managing a positive mindset.  Just as trees and plants use everything available to them to fight the odds to ensure growth or survival we should harness and draw from other skills to weather and manage difficult times as we encounter them.

Next is "Adaptability".

Adaptability emerges off the back of resilience.  The potency of resilience enables one to accept, adapt and achieve.  For us as humans, the ability to adapt ensures minimum disruption, finding new solutions, making quick changes,  ensuring survival or  accomplishing something when things may not have gone exactly as planned.  Adaptability ensures all is not lost when something beyond your control occurs.  It allows one to maintain self-control to think, process and find alternatives to achieve a good if not  better outcome.  

Next in line is "Perseverance". 

Consider if we had stopped persevering at the time of learning to walk, if we stopped trying because we fell ten or 20 times, would we be walking now?  Continuous efforts, practice and walking for years has made us good at it, similarly struggle and failure at the beginning should never be accepted with defeat but rather with strength, courage and confidence that whatever the challenge may be it can be won over.  

Finally the need for "Patience".

We tend to be driven by instant gratification, immediate responses, quick results, short term fulfilment and impulsive choices and decisions.  We must pause to examine the cost, loss and pitfalls of such choices.  Life teaches us that many things take as long as it takes and should not be manipulated.    Entities within nature understand this perfectly. 

FREE TO SOAR

Tavayogi once told me that a Siddha cannot be caged. He has to be free to soar. Agathiyar has left me free after giving me the tools and the practice, teaching and guiding me. Now I am free to pick up Sariyai and visit temples as and when I choose. I am free to take up Kriyai and perform puja and rituals as and when required. I am free to take up Yogam, and he tells me I shall know which, what, and when to do. I am freed from the old school of thought that has clamped my feet. I am not attached to any affiliate, associations, movements, centers, or bodies. Neither am I tied down to a particular religion, faith, or belief. He has left me to soar the skies. He did not have me depend on others, but instead, he connected me with the Prapanjam for all my needs. I need not go in search, but he brings me what is required for that moment. 

If in coming through my nephew in 2001, he passed me the Vasudeva mantra to help clear the knots, shackles and the obstacles and pave the way for me to meet my guru; If in the following year he revealed and had me work on my past Karma that marred my fate, and in charting a new destiny had be go on a pilgrimage to temples and as promised brought me to my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in 2003; If he sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores and had him take me in as an intern in 2005 and teach me Yogam in 2007; If to acknowledge acceptance to his fold, he sent many youths over to watch and participate in my home puja beginning in 2013 and gave birth to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM); If he brought us to do charity to open up our hearts and bring forth compassion from within through Amudha Surabhi; he had me wind all these up and brought the shutters down in 2019. Henceforth, it was a solo journey of solitude and quiet. He "crippled" me to restrict my movements and had me stay indoors unless it was called for. He had me take "magic" portions to initially clear and later strengthen the physical body to help it contain the energies to be awakened. Today, as I struggle with these energies, he has me learn to ignore the pain and discomfort. I understand that these are the moments where the soul that is embodied in the very cells within is trying to free itself and soar in the skies, merging with the Prapanjam. 

WHO IS A SIDDHA?

Death is all around us, but we choose to ignore it and look elsewhere. The moment a child is born and his or her birth is registered and a birth certificate is issued by the authorities, his or her death certificate is prepared by the "Higher Circles." It is said that we each come with a certain number of breaths that, once exhausted, we leave this body. The Siddhas, through several regimes and disciplines, are said to have transformed this body of gross matter and elements into subtler elements, hence prolonging their life span. But it is truly rare to come across one who has achieved this state in present times. We can only speak in awe and daydream.

Agathiyar, who called me to the worship of Siddhas through a Nadi reading, took me in as a candidate, sending Tavayogi to tutor me and later, upon the latter's demise, coming through other devotees, came personally to groom me. After making numerous offers in the past, asked if he should make me a guru and the very next minute retracted the offer, and instead said that he would make me a Siddha instead.

I am asking myself if I am Siddha material. Seeing all the videos purportedly of Siddhas, and reading all the books on them, I am nowhere close to them in any manner. I am not knowledgeable about the Siddhas except for what I have read. I am not knowledgeable about the mysteries of creation, the universe, and the world. I am not knowledgeable about the sciences that the Siddhas discovered and practiced. I have no achievements to my credit. I do not yet know my purpose in coming here. 

I would put the Siddhas to shame, for I have so many weaknesses and flaws. I would be a rotten apple in a bag of Siddhas. But yet Agathiyar has hope in me to make it, I suppose. So what do I then do? Nothing he says. I guess that only by doing nothing can he move the chess pieces and complete the game. Other wise it would be my show. Now it is entirely his show. 

So, who is a Siddha? Let us see what others have to say. A quick search on the net brings these up. 

• The Siddhar (Tamil (romanized) cittar, from Sanskrit siddha) in Tamil tradition is a perfected individual who has attained spiritual powers called siddhi. It means "one who is accomplished." It refers to perfected masters who have achieved a high degree of perfection of the intellect as well as liberation or enlightenment. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddha)
• A perfected being. The siddha has worked out all past karma and freed himself from entanglement in the world of maya. (https://www.ananda.org/yogapedia/siddha/)
• Siddha is a Tamil word that may be translated to mean "perfected one" and refers to someone who is accomplished. (https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/5361/siddha)
• A siddha (Sanskrit: Meaning "one who is accomplished") refers to perfected spiritual masters who have transcended the ahamkara (ego, or I-maker) and transformed themselves into spiritual beings.(https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Siddha)
• A siddha in Sanskrit means "one who is accomplished" and refers to perfected masters who according to Hindu belief have transcended the ahamkara (ego or I-maker), have subdued their minds to be subservient to their Awareness, and have transformed their bodies composed mainly of dense Rajo-tama gunas into a different kind of bodies dominated by sattva. This is usually accomplished only by persistent meditation over many lifetimes. A siddha has also been defined to refer to one who has attained a siddhi. The siddhis as paranormal abilities are considered emergent abilities of an individual who is on the path to siddhahood, and do not define a siddha, who is established in the Pranav - the Aum, which is the spiritual substrate of creation. The siddhi in its pure form means "the attainment of flawless identity with Reality (Brahman); perfection of Spirit." (https://www.bionity.com/en/encyclopedia/Siddha.html)

Every other article is written about the Siddhis that they performed. Videos also portray the present-day Siddhas performing Siddhis. Do the Siddhas' lives begin and end with performing Siddhis? Is that all there is to it? From https://sensitiveplanet.com/blogs/news/who-are-the-siddhas, we learn that there is more to it.

Siddhar Sages are the liberated mystical yogis who journey beyond ‘enlightenment’. In most cases, the enlightened beings went on to evolve into the final objective of yoga, and that was to merge into God in the physical form itself. These sages were called Siddhars. Many of these Siddhars maintained spiritual diaries and writings in the form of poetry from the time they actualized into discovering the divine with deeper meaning and the beginning of their yoga journey, while attaining enlightenment, and to the final state of transforming into light, merging with the Supreme. Yoga of Siddha tradition in South India meant the accomplishment of merging the body into the supreme light of the absolute, as attainments of the eight different dimensions of perfection. Each dimension of perfection is called a ‘siddhi’, and ‘siddhi’ is the miraculous powers that were acquired while practicing this path of yoga. Siddhars consider attainment of various siddhis as grace, which naturally flows into them through their yogic practices, and it was held sacred as the mark of the divine presence within themselves. 

Srinatha Raghavan of "Soulfully Yours" writes, "The Siddha sees without Seeing, Listens without Listening, Does without Doing, Is without Becoming." He shared the following story of Bhagavan Nityananda. 

A great Yogi once came visiting Baba, hearing about his fame and frame. The Yogi seeing the rotund frame of Bade Baba chuckled to himself, thinking what kind of Siddha is this, with a well fed stomach and a complacent face. The Yogi did not consider to pay his respects to Baba, instead went to the nearby choultry for an afternoon siesta, before he could proceed further in his pilgrimage. In the evening when he passed by Baba's residence, He was in for a rude shock. Bade Baba was no longer Bada (Big), for he was now slim and shrunk like a malnutritioned kid. The Yogi couldn't believe his eyes, for just a few hours ago, he saw Baba as a well fed "charlatan". He rushed to Baba and fell at his feet seeking forgiveness. Bade Baba thundered, "You fool! Who are you to judge me? Go now and abandon your false pride of accomplishment. Then all will be well!"

The Yogi with tears streaming down his eyes kissed the feet of Baba and went his way on the road to redemption.

Baba Nityananda was a Maha Siddha, the Ever Perfect One. Baba was a gigantic being in reality and had the power to increase (Mahima Siddhi) or reduce his physical frame (Anima Siddhi) at mere will. Bade Baba would be ever aware of everything in the Universe, despite being blissfully cut off from it. He was like the Universal Eye which sees everything, but captures nothing. For the rest of us, what we see, either we want to opine, possess or reject.

Srinatha continues,

Once a young Mother in a nearby village, was tending her sick child, who was burning with fever. As it was a rustic village, there were no Medical Doctors who could timely attend to the child. She was getting worried now as the child's temperature was rising steadily. When She could no longer think of anything, she cried out, "Nityananda Rakshaakara!" which means, "Protect us Nityananda!" This exult was not a hopeless plea, but a veritable command to the Universe itself to come to her aid, for was not Nityananda one with it?

As she exclaimed those heartfelt words, an Ayurvedic Doctor Vaid appeared at her door step from no where and said, "Is someone sick here?" She rushed to him and showed the way to her child, who was then successfully treated by the Vaid. As the temperature of the child began to normalize, the young Mother inquired of the Vaid, "Who sent you here?" The Vaid with a voice filled with emotion said, "While I was passing by your village, to go to Ganeshpuri, I heard someone say, Don't come here, instead go to that woman's home, as she needs you more than you need me!" Listening to the words of the Vaid, the Mother broke into tears of gratitude to Baba, who ever listens and obeys the loving pleas of his lovers.

Srinatha writes, 

On Aug 8 1961, Bhagavan Nityananda, the Maha Siddha, chose to drop his mortal coil to become one with the Infinite. He had postponed his final going a few times before, as he did not get the "permission" from the higher circles. Many times before he would sit motionlessly for days together, breath perfectly suspended and body like one dead, making people totally confused whether he was alive or dead. But in time, He would always come back to the normal plane of existence and continue with his work. But on that fateful day, something was different, for He whispered something inaudibly to someone invisibly present. He said, "They made a Stone come to life, then loved it as their own child, many taught it the secrets of Death & Life and then saw it become a Guide of Life, only to now bid farewell to it, as the Highest Truth of Eternal Life!"

Ah! Baba had summed up his entire spiritual sojourn beautifully in just one sentence - A Journey of Jiva to Siva! He gave up his body after that, never to occupy it again.

Srinatha says that "The transformation of a Jiva into Siva is the Siddha's Path." He writes further, 

"What's the difference between the Siddha Path and the rest?" questioned someone.

He replied, "Although the destination is the same, the Siddha Path is a point to point path, where there are seven stations to touch before you get down at the 8th. Unlike the other self driven paths, where one has to drive the vehicle oneself, steering clear of traffic, stopping now and then, getting tired and frustrated, here you simply hop on to the Guru's Metro Train and allow the Master to take you to the destination safely..."

He added, "The other paths can offer you many detours, but this one, takes you straight from one point to another in record time. Even if you wish to disembark in between, the doors wont open!"

The beauty of this path is the Siddha Master takes all the responsibility of the Novice, till he/she becomes a Siddha like the Master. The Siddha's Path, Is a Pathless Path, Because - He is the path, He is the one who walks, He is the one who observes, He is the Journey, He is the Destination, He is the Beginning, He is the End as well!

Srinatha says that a Siddha is "A Jiva perfected in Siva!"

Siva is a Jiva turned inside out, And the process of turning inside out, Is the Siddha's Path!

Siddhas are Human Beings, Who have realised their relation with the Absolute,

So they successfully drop their mortal identities, To wholly identify themselves with, Truth - Consciousness - Bliss, Siva!

But what have the Siddhas to say of themselves? Let us hear from the horse's mouth now. Agathiyar answers in simple terms through a Nadi revelation when Jnana Jhotiamma sat before him. Agathiyar reveals that "The Siddhas are a manifestation of Adhi Sivan, who is in all of us as light. He is a father figure to us. There are no differences between these energies that came forth from Adhi Sivan and the 18 Siddhas who came forth from Adhi Sivan too. The Siddhas, having merged with Adhi Sivan, hold this energy too. The intensity might vary, but it is all one. The manifestations of the divine energy that take various forms for its purposes are from the one source and finally merge into it once it serves its purpose. That source is Light or Jothi, or Sivan."

As for us who are lagging far behind in terms of practice and having a diminished soul power or Atma Balam, the Siddhas devised a simple but slow and gradual evolution of the soul. At the onset, the Siddhas bring us to a Nadi reading to make us understand the reason for taking birth. With this knowledge and understanding, that explains the relationship of birth with Karma or cause and its effects, we can now determine our lives as to where we want to head thenceforth, and manage it better, knowing the right from the wrong not from the sacred texts or scriptures or through others but through our own experiences, avoiding those acts, deeds, and doings that would bring us further away from our goal in achieving or reaching the one state of Adhi Sivam. We can then take a course that keeps us aloft and avoid falling into the dungeons of the dragons that await to swallow us up, foiling our bid to attain the highest stature of God himself. Towards this, the Siddhas begin to show us the way to salvation - their way, tested and proven to bring the desired results. They want us to engage in home and temple worship and acts of Dharma as in Sariyai. They want us to engage directly in performing and conducting rituals, as in Kriyai. They want us to take up asanas and pranayama as in Yogam. Finally, they shall lead us to Gnanam, a state highly revered by the Siddhas. For those who heed his words and follow him, he turns them into another Siddha. 

Agathiyar reveals how to identify the presence of Siddhas. Siddhas' language sounds like the chirping of birds. It's possible to see them if one keeps awake during the 3rd night or Jamam between the hours of 12.30 am till 3.00 am. So one is to give space, making sure not to lie on their path. Jnana Jothiamma, who visited us at AVM, revealed the next morning the presence of Siddhas, seeing them walking into my home and into the prayer room and later leaving the same way they came, all through the night.

Agathiyar continues that their presence is felt through the sense of smell - wonderful aromas linger in the air, and the sense of taste - through a wonderful taste of food served for the Gods (to be tasted after the 3rd night). I remember Tavayogi taking me into the jungles and caves and abodes of the Siddhas, pointing me to the breeze, specific aromas in the air, telling me that the Siddhas were showering us with flower petals and ushering us. 

Agathiyar explains who a Siddha is in Velayudham Karthikeyan Aiya's "Siththan Arul".

"Siddha is not one who closes his eyes and meditates, and there is no need to torture and torment the body to achieve the state of a Siddha. One only needs to think about the Lord, the Siddhas and the Munis, immaterial of whether the body is clean or otherwise. What is important is to pray towards them with a clear conscience and inner purity; he is a Siddha!" 

ACCEPTANCE

I wrote in the last post that I shall get further answers in the Satsanga session last Sunday in Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan, organized by the new AVM. I had two questions that often arise: Should we help another or walk away? Another related question is: Should we follow the given teachings without question, or should we question every directive? The guest speaker, the young lawyer Nakkiran, amazed us with his knowledge of the Mahabharata and surprised us by revealing that it was a story that spanned nine generations. It is a wonder if someone could live till a hundred these days. 

The Mahabharatha,

It spans over eighteen chapters beginning with Adiparva and Sauti’s narration of the story in the assembly of Rishis and culminating with Yudhishthira’s final test and the return of the Pandavas to the spiritual world in the Swargarohana Parva. (Source: https://mahabharata.hk/en/introduction/)

Nakkiran quoted the Essence of the Gita, which is the Essence of Creation, and Mahabharata too, that explains it all.

எது நடந்ததோ , அது நன்றாகவே நடந்தது.

எது நடக்கிறதோ, அது நன்றாகவே நடக்கிறது.

எது நடக்க இருக்கிறதோ, அதுவும் நன்றாகவே நடக்கும்.

உன்னுடையது எதை இழந்தாய் எதற்காக நீ அழுகிறாய்?

எதை நீ கொண்டு வந்தாய்? அதை நீ இழப்பதற்கு.

எதை நீ படைதிருகிறாய், அது வீணாவதற்கு.

எதை நீ எடுத்துக் கொண்டாயோ, அது இங்கிருந்தே எடுக்கபட்டது.

எதை கொடுத்தாயோ, அது இங்கேயே கொடுக்கபட்டது.

எது இன்று உன்னுடையதோ, அது நாளை மற்றோருவருடையாகிறது.

மற்றொரு நாள் அது வேறோருவருடைதாகும்.

இந்த மாற்றம் உலக நியதியாகும்.

"இதுவே உலக நியதியும், எனது படைப்பின் சாராம்சமாகும்"

- பகவான் ஸ்ரீ கிருஷணர்

Whatever happened, it went well.

Whatever is happening, it is happening well.

Whatever is going to happen, it will happen well.

What did you lose of yours, that you're crying?

What did you bring (to this earth), that to lose?

What did you create? that to be wasted?

What you took, was taken from here.

What you give, was from here.

What is yours today, belongs to somebody else tomorrow.

Another day, it belong to someone else.

This change is constant in this Universe and the essence in my creation.

- Sri Krishna (Source:  https://kadilla-oosi.blogspot.com/2013/10/gita-essence.html)

Walking away from the event, I have come to accept "acceptance" that was repeatedly told in the scriptures, the gospels, the Nadi, and through the many stories that have come down to us. This is what Agathiyar and Tavayogi too had told us. Everything else will fall into place following our acceptance. Agathiyar once said there is no right and wrong. I did not understand then. Now it dawns on me, indeed, he is right. Something needs to take place for another thing to happen in the future. A pistol in the hands of a robber or criminal can take another life, while the same in the hands of a policeman can defend and save others' lives. A knife in the hands of a surgeon saves a patient, but in the hands of a distraught man or woman, it kills. What differentiates man from animal is the ability to savor pleasures, be it food or sex. When a fox steals a goose's eggs, we are not perturbed or disturbed, believing and accepting it as the wonder in nature, but when harm or danger comes to mankind, we take to the streets to voice out. The fault in the stars here is the bond that we create, which we find hard to let go of later. We are caught in a delusion and illusion as long as we are tied up in Maya, time, and space. 

Sadhu Om (Nadarajan), who had penned numerous songs carrying Bhagawan Ramana's teachings, describes his meeting with Bhagavan Ramana in an interview in "Arunachala Ramana". A couple of weeks after he laid his sight on Bhagavan Ramana, Sadhu Om went back to Ramanasramam to have the darshan of Bhagavan. He sat on a rock on Arunachala, composing poems on Bhagavan under the title, Vetkai [Divine longing]. After composing the 7th poem, he realised it was breakfast time, and he quickly went to the Ashram dining hall. He entered the dining hall and, seeing that Bhagavan was eating there, he hesitated to enter, but as he was invited by someone, he sat in front of Bhagavan and started eating. When Bhagavan finished his breakfast, he got up from the seat. Seeing this, Sadhu Om also got up, although he had not finished eating. Bhagavan looked at Sadhu Om and said, "Do what you came to do" வந்த வேலையைப் பார். Sadhu Om then sat down, but since he had gotten up while eating, he was reluctant to continue eating. Bhagavan, after washing his hands, was walking alongside the dining hall. Seeing that Sadhu Om was reluctant to eat, he repeated the words, வந்த வேலையைப் பார். Hearing these words, Sadhu Om started eating again. As Bhagavan went near the entrance and was about to pass over the threshold, Sadhu Om turned back and looked at Bhagavan. Bhagavan also looked at Sadhu Om and uttered the same words, வந்த வேலையைப் பார், for the third time in succession. Sadhu Om could not understand what Bhagawan meant and was reluctant to ask him. He dwelt on it long enough until one fine day it dawned on him that Bhagawan was asking him to look into his true purpose in coming here. "You are not this body. You are the Atma. You have come to realize this." “உடல் தாங்கி வந்திருக்கும் நீ இந்த உடலல்ல. ஆத்மா என்பதை உணர். அதற்காகத் தான் நீ வந்திருக்கிறாய். 

நடராஜன் என்பவர் முதன்முறை அண்ணாமலைக்கு வந்தபோது பகவான் ரமணரின் அருட்காட்சி கிடைத்தது. அதன் ஈர்ப்பினால் மறுமுறையும் அண்ணாமலைக்கு வந்தார். விடியற்காலையில் எழுந்தவர், மலை மேல் சென்று ஏகாந்தத்தில் திளைத்திருந்தார். அவ்வப்போது தோன்றிய உணர்வுகளை கவிதையாக எழுதிக் கொண்டிருந்தார். நேரம் போனதே தெரியவில்லை. ஏழு கவிதைகளை எழுதி முடித்த பின் தான் உணர்ந்தார், ஆச்ரமத்தில் காலை உணவுக்கான நேரம் கடந்து விட்டது என்பதை. உடனடியாக ஆச்ரமத்திற்கு விரைந்தார்.

அங்கே எல்லோரும் உணவு உண்டு விட்டு ஒருவர் பின் ஒருவராக வெளியே வந்து கொண்டிருந்தனர். அதனால் நடராஜன் தயக்கத்துடன் ஒதுங்கி நின்றார். அங்கிருந்தவர்களில் ஒருவர், “ஏன் இங்கேயே நிற்கிறீர்கள் உள்ளே இலை போடப்பட்டு உங்களுக்கு உணவு தயாராக இருக்கிறது.. பகவான் சாப்பிட்டுக் கொண்டிருக்கிறார். உள்ளே செல்லுங்கள்” என்றார்.

நடராஜன் உள்ளே சென்றார். பகவான் சாப்பிட்டுக் கொண்டிருந்தார். நடராஜனுக்கும் இலை போடப்பட்டிருந்தது. சாப்பிடுமாறு அங்குள்ளோர் வலியுறுத்தவே கூச்சத்துடன் அமர்ந்து உண்ண ஆரம்பித்தார். 

சிறிது நேரத்தில் உணவை உண்டு விட்டு கை சுத்தம் செய்வதற்காக பகவான் எழுந்தார்.

பகவான் எழுந்து நிற்கும்போது தாம் அமர்ந்திருப்பது சரியன்று என்று நினைத்தார் நடராஜன். அதே சமயம் இலையிலிருந்து எழுந்தால் மீண்டும் அமர்ந்து உண்பது நியதிப்படி சரியல்ல என்றும் எண்ணியதால் இருக்கையிலிருந்து சற்றே எழுந்திருப்பது போல் தன் உடலை உயர்த்தினார்.

அதைப் பார்த்த பகவான், “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்று சொல்லி விட்டு நகர்ந்தார். "சாப்பிடுவதற்காக வந்த நீ சாப்பிடு. அதை விட்டு விட்டு இந்த மாதிரி எல்லாம் எழுந்து நின்று எனக்கு மரியாதை செய்ய வேண்டியதில்லை” என்று பகவான் சொன்னதாக உணர்ந்தார், நடராஜன். ஆகவே மீண்டும் சரியாக இலை முன் அமர்ந்து உண்ண ஆரம்பித்தார். அதே சமயம் பகவானையே பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்தார். சமையற்கூட வாசல் தாண்டிய பகவான் திரும்பி நடராஜனை உற்றுப் பார்த்தார். பின் மீண்டும், “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்று சொல்லிவிட்டுப் படி இறங்கினார். 

நடராஜனுக்கு ஒரே திகைப்பு. பகவான் எதற்காக மீண்டும் அப்படிச் சொன்னார் என்பது தெரியாமல் குழம்பினார். “ஓ.. நாம் சாப்பிடுவதை விட்டு விட்டு பகவானை வேடிக்கை பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறோம். அதைத் தான் பகவான் அப்படிச் சொல்கிறாரோ, ஒருவேளை கவிதை எழுதிக் கொண்டிருந்தோமே, அதைப் பாதியில் விட்டு விட்டு சாப்பிட ஓடி வந்து விட்டோம். அதைத் தான் சொல்கிறாரோ என நினைத்துக் குழம்பினார். பின் உணவை உண்டு விட்டு மீண்டும் மலைமேல் சென்று கவிதை எழுத ஆரம்பித்தார். 

மதியம் ஆச்ரமம் வந்தவர், உணவு உண்டு விட்டு பகவானின் ஹாலில் போய் அமர்ந்தார். அப்போது பகவான் இவரை மீண்டும் உற்றுப் பார்த்தார். பின் மறுபடியும், “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்று சொன்னார்.

நடராஜனுக்கு ஒன்றுமே புரியவில்லை. பகவான் ஏன் சொன்னதையே திருப்பித் திருப்பிச் சொல்கிறார் என்பதும் தெரியவில்லை. பகவானிடம் விளக்கம் கேட்கவும் தயக்கமாக இருந்தது ஆகவே அதுபற்றிச் சிந்தித்து பேசாமல் அமர்ந்திருந்தார்.

"ஓ.. நாம் எதற்கு அருணாசலம் வந்தோம்? கவிதை எழுதவா? இல்லை அருணாசலரை தரிசிக்க. பகவானின் உபதேசம் பெற. அதை விடுத்து எதை எதையோ செய்கின்றாய் என்பதைத் தான் பகவான் “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்று சொல்லி குறிப்பால் உணர்த்துகிறார் என்று நினைத்தார்.

சில நாட்கள் ஆச்ரமத்தில் தங்கினார். பின் தன் சொந்த ஊரான புன்னை நல்லூருக்குச் சென்றார். ஆனால் அங்கேயும் இருப்புக் கொள்ளவில்லை. “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்ற குரல் அவருள் ஒலித்துக் கொண்டே இருந்தது தன் வேலையை விட்டு இட்டு ஆச்ரமத்துக்கே வருவதாக பகவானுக்குக் கடிதம் எழுதினார். ஆனால் பகவானின் சம்மதம் கிடைக்கவில்லை.

தினந்தோறும் தனிமையால் அமர்வார். தியானத்தில் ஆழ்வார். பகவானைப் பற்றிச் சிந்திப்பார்.

ஒருநாள் “வந்த வேலையைப் பார்” என்று பகவான் சொன்னதன் உண்மையான பொருள் அவருக்கு விளங்கியது. 

“உடல் தாங்கி வந்திருக்கும் நீ இந்த உடலல்ல. ஆத்மா என்பதை உணர். அதற்காகத் தான் நீ வந்திருக்கிறாய் என்பதைப் புரிந்து அந்த உண்மையில் நிலைத்திரு” என்பதையே பகவான் உபதேசமாகத் தனக்கு உணர்த்தினார் என்பது புரிந்தது. அதன்பின் தன் சொத்துக்களை எல்லாம் விற்று விட்டு ரமணாச்ரமம் வந்தார். பகவானின் அனுமதி பெற்றுத் துறவறம் பூண்டார். "சாது ஓம்” ஆனார். பகவானையே சரணடைந்து அருணாசலத்திலேயே வாழ்ந்து அங்கேயே நிறைவெய்தினார்.

I can never forget the Upadesa I got from my 3-year-old granddaughter, now 8 years old. As she was seated on the settee, rooted in the kids' series "Masha and the Bear," watching the episodes over and over again, I teased her, telling her that "I have seen this earlier." She turned to me and pointed her finger to a corner, telling me, "I am the one watching (that she doesn't mind seeing repeats), you go to your corner." I then went and stood in a corner. She said "Not there" and directed me to my desk, where I have my laptop. Then on another day, I came by as she stood in front of the television watching the same show. I told her the same dialogue. She was so stressed up that she turned to look up at me and said, "You take care of your life, and I shall take care of mine. "நீ உன் வாழ்க்கையை பார்; நான் என் வாழ்க்கையை பார்க்கிறேன்" I was taken aback by her choice of words, "Life" or வாழ்க்கை. I realized then that Agathiyar was telling me through her to do what I came for, just as Bhagawan Ramana told Sadhu Om "வந்த வேலையைப் பார்" and what Sri Krishna literally told Arjuna, too, at the battlefield when the latter was reluctant to take up arms against his family and mentors.

In the introduction to "God Talks With Arjuna - The Bhagavad Gita" by Sri Paramahansa Yogananda, published by Yogada Satsanga Society of India, 1999, we come across the following table that calls our attention to an entirely different aspect of the personalities in Mahabharata, that of the soul and matter.

Sadhu Om has written about acceptance in his many songs, too.

Sadhu Om dedicated his entire life to Bhagavan, spreading the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi. Sadhu Om never sought for himself any recognition or appreciation from the world. This was the message I got from Nakkiran's talk. 

“Your right is to work only, but never to its fruits; Let not the fruits of action be your motive, Nor let your attachment be to inaction.” - Bhagavad Chapter II, Verse 47 (Source: https://mahabharata.hk/en/introduction/)

Another message that brought me to tears was when Sri Krishna stands before the dying Karna. "What else do you want, when your very God comes before you asking what you desire?" It brought me to the moment when Agathiyar came through a devotee and asked each of us gathered that day what we wanted. Though they asked what was important and crucial to them that day, I had nothing to ask of God. Agathiyar surprised me asking the same and waited for me to answer. Not wanting to keep him waiting any further, I squeezed my tiny brain thinking what to ask. Finally, I thought that serving him as I did now would be a good idea, so I asked for more births to carry on this service. He asked me if that was what I wanted, just as Tavayogi would reply with another question. I knew then that that was not what I should ask for and remained silent. Agathiyar moved on to other matters. Later, I discussed this with Mahindren over the phone, and we both agreed that we should ask for Gnanam that Tavayogi always harped on and wanted us to attain. The next time he came, Agathiyar surprised me by telling me that I had asked for Gnanam. Apparently, he was eavesdropping on our conversation. He then told me that Gnanam was not gifted by him, but we have to work our way up to attain the state. We had to earn it. He explained that as we begin our internal travel, traveling through the Chakras, and finally reach the Sahasrara that was the state of Gnanam, Gnanam shall dawn on us. 

Poet and lyricist Vairamuthu expounds Gnana in simple terms. He tells us that the tip of the iceberg, Gnana, is to accept nature and its laws. 

I understood that Gnanam dawns when we come to terms and accept nature and its terms, ஞானத்தின் எல்லை எது வென்றால் இயர்கையை ஏற்றுக்கொள்வது. Nature tutors us daily, giving us its greatest wisdom, moment to moment but we are blind to it. இயற்க்கை நமக்கு அன்றாடம் போதித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறது. ஆனால் நாம் அதனை உணர்வதில்லை. 

Dattatreya is said to have considered the entire Universe and its creations as his teachers. He listed 24. 

Mother Earth taught him tolerance, patience, and forbearance; 

Water taught him to comfort others; 

Fire taught him not to be judgmental; 

Air taught him to be unfettered; 

Space taught him to be unattached; 

The Sun taught him to cheer up everyone; 

The Moon taught him to remain unaffected; 

The Ocean too taught him to remain unaffected; 

The Child taught him not to hold grudges; 

The Village Girl reminded him not to disturb others; 

The Arrow-maker taught him to focus on the work on hand and concentration; 

The Prostitute Pingala taught him dedication; 

The Butterfly touch him to be unattached; 

The Snake taught him to drop desires and ownership; 

The Python taught him to be flexible; 

The Dove taught him love and peace; 

The Fish taught him not to fall for temptation; 

The Honeybee taught him to labor; 

The Deer reminded him to be ever wary of people who exploit others; 

The Elephant taught him to remember; 

The Bumblebee reminded him not to hurt; 

The Eagle taught him not to hoard; 

The Spider taught him to remain free and unattached; and finally

The Wasp taught him intent and perseverance. 

(Source:  https://www.dollsofindia.com/library/dattatreya/.)

He "reached self-awareness by observing nature during his Sannyasi wanderings and treating these natural observations as his twenty-four teachers for each of them taught him something useful - such was his greatness and humility." With humility taking the center stage, our Ego dies a natural death. If I had been trashed numerous times by Agathiyar and Tavayogi, the Essence of the Gita wipes away the last remaining remnants and shadow of the Ego.