AWAKENING TO THE SELF

Information and technology are at our fingertips these days. We can keep count on almost anything. Blogger keeps count of my blog's readership views. I can keep count of the distance I walk and the number of steps I take using an app. Sadly AI is used in warfare too to target people too. Man has achieved much in a short time. If all these resources are targeted at the masses, those who decide to step out of the mainstream and venture into knowing the Self are few and apart.  Just as there is a need for genuine and true masters as we have had in the past, there is a need for genuine and true disciples too. 

Whether I succeed in returning home with this form or leave it behind or come back to take another form and live the cycle again is anybody's guess. Though the journey has been simplified in present times it is so long that it is not possible to complete it in one lifetime. We have to stop and assess ourselves as to where we stand each time. But what is the yardstick to compare with? The saints and gurus before us who had traveled the path and spoken about it are our only source of reference. We are fortunate if we have a personal guru who tags along on our journey. I was blessed to have had two wonderful gurus who helped me start and helped shape me. The Siddhas did the rest. I am grateful to them.

As Agathiyar says eventually the guru can only come that far, and we have to go on alone, but fear not for he shall wait for us at the finish line or rather he was there all the while for us but we never saw him as we were stunned by the stage lights, sights and sounds the world has to offer and followed our senses. But if we could use them for a bigger purpose that is to know the Self, they shall abide in the Self eventually.

Separation is seen in Sariyai when we stand apart from the deities and worship them. Separation is seen in Kriya where we stand apart from one another and think that we are serving them or carrying out charity. Separation is seen in Yogam until we realize this union with God, Others, and the Self. He calls this separation as Viyoga and a delusion. The method of removing this delusion is Yoga. Once we realize the Self we have attained Gnanam. We can safely drop all of the former Sadhanas. Bhagawan Ramana1 says they are all Sadhanas or means and will not be necessary after Gnanam is attained. I now understand that Agathiyar in asking me to drop my attachment on him was in fact asking me to end the separation thinking that we were separate. When I replied asking him how was I to end my attachment, he replied asking me "Aren't we one?" Starting us take off from Sariyai where our parents had brought us to, Agathiyar through the guru showed us to Kriyai where we did rituals and charity. The guru and Agathiyar then introduced us to Yogic practices that brought us to Gnanam, to finally know and realize that the Self and He were one.

1. "Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi" published by Sri Ramanashramam, 2006.

RIDDLED WITH QUESTIONS

If I were to be hit by a car and die on the spot tomorrow or if I were to succumb to an incurable disease and suffer, many would ask, "How come Agathiyar did not save him?" or "How come Agathiyar did not heal him?" 

Well, I did ask God these questions back then too. If the Buddha as a prince wanted to know why people suffered, I did ask why my colleagues and friends and their families suffered back then in the 80s when I was a bachelor. My question was put on hold for a very long time - some 14 years. I heard a relative hit by a vehicle moments after she had offered prayers at a temple. I had a devotee knock into a stationary lorry moments after his Nadi reading. When I came to learn that a young lad in his 20s suffered burns as a result of a gas stove exploding and passed away, I too was shocked. He was a staunch devotee of Agathiyar taking up the worship from his parents and uncle. Someone asked me why Agathiyar did not foresee or forewarn him as he had access to the Nadi readers. I had no explanation back then. Traveling for some 22 years with him, I have yet to get some answers. We just do not know their play or Lila. We do not have access to the blueprint and the secrets of life and death, on who should live and who should go. 

Even the saints and gurus are not exempted. I asked Agathiyar why he had Tavayogi meet with an accident and go through the suffering back then. Tavayogi was knocked down while riding a bike into town days after conducting the annual Jayanthi puja for Agathiyar. He had to be treated away from his ashram in a distant town for several months. When I finally reached Tavayogi and spoke over the phone, he brushed it aside very lightly telling me "Let it be my son. It was my Karma." 

An account of Bhagawan Ramana's last days is given by B.V. Narasimha Swami in "Self Realization - The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi" published by Sri Ramanasramam, 1985. It is too difficult for me to post the excerpt as I was already in tears reading it. Ma Devaki speaks amidst tears, about the last days of Yogi Ramsuratkumar. It is rather difficult to watch the video. If we refrain from having visitors when we have a slight headache or bodily pain, in all their moments of pain, they never stop blessing those who arrive to see them. Ma Devaki says the Yogi would lift a hand, then another, and even his legs to bless them when he could not use his other limbs. Bhagawan Ramana would drag himself twice a day to sit among his disciples for an hour. When he was incapable of making even these few steps, devotees filed past his room in queues. 

We could never fill their shoes. That is the strength of these gurus. Then we have devotees like Ma Devaki who asked that the Yogi pass on his sufferings to her for the world needed the Yogi to be around. Again we could never fill the shoes of devotees like her too.

People who have been there and back can certainly throw some light on life and death as Antony David Cicoria narrates his experience. Watching this and other videos of Near Death Experiences strengthens the belief that the angels are all with us but do not show themselves unless the need to come to our aid arises. And they come through us, humans.

BE OPEN TO LEARNING

In BBC Earth's series on the "Ancient Powers", we are told how the ancient Greeks secured their rule in Egypt and ensured the legions of its people after Alexander's death. One of his generals who becomes the first in a new line of Pharoah who all take his name after that, embarks on a massive building campaign. By commissioning temples, they could extend their authority to the southernmost reaches of their kingdom."

One wonders about all the other temples now and their origins.

God does not dictate man. One man dictates another. Though man is given free choices to chart his destiny he opts to submit to fate. Agathiyar says my love for him is so great that the mere mention of his name intoxicates me. There is a downside to it though he warns. People could use our devotion and faith in him for their interest. He warns me that others could take me for a ride using this weakness. He asks that I be aware and to beware of these manipulators, using his name and guise.

When I was open to Agathiyar's messages coming from various sources be it through the Nadi reading, through devotees, gurus, masters, teachers, books, movies, etc I was surprised when others only wanted to listen from Agathiyar through the Nadi or their guru's words. Some say that they were in direct communion with him and refuse to hear from elsewhere, shutting the door. This brings me to the story of Dattatreya who is said to have "reached self-awareness by observing nature during his Sannyasi wanderings and treating natural observations as his twenty-four teachers. Dattatreya considered the entire Universe and its creations as his teachers, for each of them taught him something useful - such was his greatness and humility." 

It is said that Agathiyar who told us that he was the very Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him too, took lessons directly from the plants and herbs that filled him on their properties. He used this knowledge in his practice of Siddha medicine. Such was his humility. In the TV series "Harmony with AR Rahman", we see the humility of the musician sitting at the feet, as a disciple sits before his guru, of other musicians wanting to explore and learn the musical instruments and vocal traditions of their regions. This is humility and humbleness to the core.

The 24 teachers of Dattatreya are listed at https://www.dollsofindia.com/library/dattatreya/.

Mother Earth taught Dattatreya tolerance, patience and forbearance; Water taught him to comfort others; Fire taught him not to be judgmental; Air taught him to be unfettered; Space taught him to be unattached; Sun taught him to cheer up everyone; Snake taught him to drop desires and ownership; Python taught him to be flexible; Moon taught him to remain unaffected; Ocean too taught him to remain unaffected; Butterfly touch him to be unattached; Dove taught him love and peace; Fish taught him not to fall for temptation; Honeybee taught him to labor; Deer reminded him to be ever wary of people who exploit others; Elephant taught him to remember; Bumblebee reminded him not to hurt; The Prostitute Pingala taught him dedication; Eagle taught him not to hoard; Child taught him not to hold grudges; The Village Girl reminded him not to disturb others; Arrow-maker taught him to focus on the work on hand and concentration; Spider taught him to remain free and unattached; and finally a Wasp taught him intent and perseverance. 

LESSONS

Agathiyar had me learn lessons by calling me to his path. He exposed the effect of Karma on our lives and as the reason for taking numerous births. He also pointed out that desires that arise in the present or Vasanas or unfulfilled desires we brought with us have to germinate, bloom and flower. These could be pleasant or unpleasant. He also pointed out that just as past Karma, Vasanas, and new desires bring forth another birth, merits gained and earned through bhakti or devotion, our service, and interaction with humanity or at least a part of it that is the immediate family, relatives, friends, colleagues, strangers on the street, community, society, and nation all merit another birth too. I understand now why my first guru Supramania Swami told me that he had to leave the merits earned in his 40 years of tavam or carrying out austerities behind. He passed it to me.

Agathiyar held a one-hour class on anger management in the Nadi and came several times in later years finally asking for his staff or Vaasikol as would a discipline master brandish his cane, all just to have me drop my anger. 

In sending Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores, he had me drop my attachment to all things material telling me "We don't need them, son". Both my gurus were an exemplar of humbleness. 

In coming as the bronze statue in 2010 and leaving for another devotee's home in 2023, he had me drop even my attachment to his form. But he is now back in my home after I came to terms with the truth of the matter. Recently in appreciating my willingness to part with his statue, he told me that now I have to even drop my attachment towards him. How could I do that? He is my world now. He has come to replace everything in my life. I only know him. I cannot have a conversation without bringing him into the conversation. My mind dwells around him and his greatness. My body, breath, and soul are filled with gratitude for him. So when I put forth the question as to how was I supposed to forget him he replied coolly "Aren't we one".

Indeed when we are one where does Shanmugam Avadaiyappa come into the picture? Where does he come into the story? Where does he reside? What action is his? Shanmugam Avadaiyappa fades away from existence. Only Agathiyar exists. Only Agathiyar Is.

I understood that he was not speaking about Shanmugam Avadaiyappa as being Agathiyar but that our souls just like everyone who has realized him will deem to come to know, are one. We are one in the manner of the soul. The JeevAtma that initiated the formation of a solid mass from the act of conceiving, that became the embryo and fetus, and an infant and child later that grew into a toddler and kid, a teen and a young adult and full grown adult and finally ages is one with the ParamAtma. Though in returning home upon death, we return to him, but if one could realize him while alive that would be the state of Samadhi, going back to the source. As we learn from the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self" that "To realize Samadhi is to learn to die before you die", it echoes Ramalinga Adigal's and the rest of the Siddhas words about the need to learn the art or Kalai of Dying without Dying in the real sense or Saagaamal Saagum Kalai. 

THE NEVER ENDING PATH

When Tavayogi and I left Trichy after putting up a night at a hotel, for the hills of Kutralam and a surprise stay overnight at Agathiyar's cave, Tavayogi turned to me with a cheer and told me "Only now the true journey begins my son". I did not know what he meant and what was in store then. It has taken me some 19 long years to realize.

Dr. C. Srinivasan in his book "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami", mentions that "Ramalinga Adigal has tasted the bliss of all the sixteen stages contemplated by the Vedas." 

Yogi Ramsuratkumar says "Emancipation was not the end for this beggar, rather it was the beginning for him." (Yogi Ramsuratkumar - The Godchild of Thiruvannamalai" by Truman Caylor Wadlington)

Agathiyar tells us that death was only the beginning of another journey too.

In the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self" we are told that contrary to common belief, Samadhi is only the beginning of another journey. 

Furthermore, this documentary jolts us from our sleep. We are asked to ponder several questions.

"Before it becomes possible to awaken it is necessary to accept that you are asleep living in the matrix. Examine your life honestly without lying to yourself. Are you able to stop your robotic repetitive life patterns if you want to? Can you stop seeking pleasure and avoiding pain? Are you addicted to certain foods, activities, or pastimes? Are you constantly judging, blaming, and criticizing yourself or others? Does your mind incessantly seek out stimuli or are you completely fulfilled just being in silence? Do you react to how people think about you? Are you seeking approval or positive reinforcement? Do you somehow sabotage situations in your life?"

"Most people will experience their lives the same way today as they will tomorrow, a year from now, and ten years from now. When you begin to observe your robotlike nature, you become more awake. You begin to recognize the depth of your problem. You are completely and utterly asleep, lost in a dream. Most who hear this truth will not be willing or capable of changing their lives because they are attached to their familiar patterns. We go to great lengths to justify our patterns, burying our heads in the sand rather than facing the truth. We want our saviors but we are not willing to get up on the cross ourselves."

Ramalinga Adigal in listing the numerous stages and charting out the many levels of the soul's journey and its spiritual experiences says that there are still higher stages that he hesitates to express. So for one who says he knows all and the journey has ended approach with caution.

BLESSED BEYOND WORDS

When Agathiyar came recently he asked the womenfolk to gather and hold a Satsang among themselves. Agathiyar who sat through the session coming in a devotee later told them to write about their experiences and pass it to me to be uploaded on this blog. My daughter shares her experiences as follows.

When I sit back and think, I’ve journeyed quite a long time with Agathiyar Appa looking out for me. It makes me feel so blessed and think about what I have done to be this fortunate. 

I came into introduction with Agathiyar in my schooling years when my father, Mr. A. Shanmugam began his journey of Siddha worship. Initially guiding us through the Naadi, he then came into our hearts and homes in his stunning bronze statue form where we used to do Abhishegam and pooja for him.  

It started with only my parents, sister and me. Then joined by our friends, family, and new acquaintances who later became our Agathiyar family. We did Poojas and Homa every Thursday and on Pournamis, sang Bhajans for him and other deities on all their special days. We gave Annadhanam to kids/elderly homes and for the homeless people. I’d join in whenever possible as I was already studying away from home after that. 

There are many instances I can recall when we either felt his presence or had him guide us when we were in doubt and most of all he’ll be there to give us remedies for our health issues too. 

In 2010, I met in an accident where I had a clean fracture of my tibia and fibula and was asked to go through an operation for speedy recovery. While waiting for my turn for the operation, Agathiyar advised through a Naadi reading to only go through a small procedure and after some time another doctor suggested a procedure done very briefly without having the need for an operation known as ACP Injection. I recovered soon after going through a few rounds of the mentioned procedure and started walking again. 

In 2016, the Siddhas graced and blessed my husband and me at our wedding. We were told about this by Tavayogi and Mathaji who attended our wedding. After getting married, having kids, and having a routine of my own, I’d continue to join the prayers held at my parents' place or other devotees' homes whenever I could.  

There was one time when I told Agathiyar that I had slipped and fell at the waterfall, and he asked another devotee to help massage. He also taught a few yoga poses which helped stretch and ease my pain. 

Earlier this year, my husband had a heart attack and had to undergo an emergency coronary angioplasty. Despite the fact that it was a very critical situation and with so much uncertainty, I had a calm come over me as the specialist briefed me on the procedure and risks while waiting for his team to assemble for the procedure. A few weeks later, at another prayer gathering, Agathiyar told me that he was there looking after us and all would be okay. 

In recent days, Agathiyar has been strictly emphasizing us to practice the breathing exercise he had taught us a few years back. He insists that we take care of our health by consuming healthily and keeping ourselves physically fit too. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, I’ve not been religiously doing my breathing exercises but deep down I know it’s only for our benefit for he sees beyond what we can see in our bodies. 

I’m forever grateful for the countless blessings he’s given us all this while and for watching out for us.

[8:58 am, 24/04/2024] Praba.

My daughter had written about Agathiyar and her experiences in her own blog back then when she had more time on her hands. 

https://myindianheartbeat.blogspot.com
http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com

Since then she has been running after three kids ages 7, 4, and 3, and finds it difficult to find time for herself.

PREPARING TO TAKE ON HIS TASK

Watching the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self", we receive the answer to the ever-bugging question as to whether we should involve or remain passive in the face of adversity. 

"It is important to know that when we accept reality As It Is it doesn't necessarily mean that we stop taking action in the world, or we become meditating pacifists. Actually, the opposite can be true. When we are free to act without being driven by unconscious motives, then it is possible to act in alignment with the Tao, with the full force of our inner energy behind us."

We are told of a saying in Zen, "Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood and carry water." "Before enlightenment, one must roll the ball up the hill. After enlightenment, one must also roll the ball up the hill." What has changed? The inner resistance to what is. The struggle has been stopped. Or rather the one who struggles has been realized to be illusory. The individual will or individual mind and the divine will or higher mind are aligned" This is Samadhi. "Samadhi is ultimately a dropping of all resistance to all changing phenomena without exception. The one who is able to realize inner peace irrespective of circumstances has attained true Samadhi."

We are told that resistance is suffering. In coming to terms with it and seeing it as an experience we shall accept it. We come to accept that all is the work of Maya which is ever-changing and never lasting. Our sorrows and sufferings too shall come to pass. This reminds me of Tavayogi brushing aside all problems telling us that Agathiyar shall take care. This reminds me of Agathiyar brushing aside the pain in my lower back that I endured for 2 1/2 years saying that it was illusionary.

In having us go through the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam, having us engage actively in working on the external and internal transformation, eventually, Agathiyar has brought us to the state of inactivity and halt our active participation. When the work or task we desire to do stops, we can take on his desire and tasks. He has us know the soul or Jeeva(Atma) and then live as a JeevanMukta carrying out his tasks and mission.

BE AWARE & BEWARE

Just for a start as an elementary school teacher simplifies the teachings for the sake of her students to easily understand the concepts, and as we go up the ladder and as the learning curve intensifies, we are given the raw facts to chew, Sariyai simplified God showing him in the idols; Kriyai showed us the guru in physical form as God; Yogam showed us, God, as residing within as our breath; and Gnanam finally pierced all the earlier understanding and has us drop all our earlier hold on things, belief, learnings, and practice. Now standing stark naked we confront the soul or Atma and its teachings. Similarly, a song of the lady saint Avvai that is a song in praise of Lord Ganapathy for the children turns out to be a song laden with a recipe for good health, when Dr.Bhani took up Siddha medicine and finally was said to be a song of Gnanam when he came under the tutorship of Yogi Ramaiah.

I told Agathiyar that I would like to see him as God for all, regardless of what caste or creed they were, immaterial of their financial standing and social status. I told him if he was only to help me and my family, or believers and followers, and shut the others out, I do not want him. He who was introduced through a form and name in the Nadi reading and called me to his path soon came as the guru who told me that Agathiyar was God, then was Siva, and later the breath, and Light, came as a statue, walked along with us, showed himself coming through devotees, and finally came as the Prapanjam that is acceptable to all faiths and believers fulfilling my humble request.

God and the Siddhas are no one person's possession nor can one lay a stake on them. The concept of God is for all. In championing the cause some tend to get carried away and lay claim to God and the Siddhas, their ways and methods, the rituals and practices. I fear that someday someone might even claim copyright to them and their works. 

In our eagerness to campaign for the cause of the Siddhas, we tend to turn ugly. If back then man was divided by caste and creed, and some were forbidden from entering temples and holy places, coming to the spiritual path, we begin to differentiate mankind based on karma and merits, his diet and his hunger for knowledge, etc. The numbers as in attendance and following classes and teachings, and the numbers as in the number of initiations received, etc, segregate them further. In laying rules and codes it further distances many from coming forward. In mentioning and laying claim that only those who qualify can come into the path or qualify to stay further, the question arises as to who are we to talk about others' karma when we carry the baggage too? Who are we to decide who is eligible or otherwise when we are nowhere close to achieving the state of a Siddha? Would anyone have imagined Arunagiri becoming a saint? For all the sins I have committed it is a surprise that Agathiyar took me into his fold too. A sinner has an equal opportunity to walk the path with those who are pious. All borders and distinctions are the work of man. God does not divide and rule.

Then there are the fear mongers in all fields be it in reading the Astrology, in reading the Nadi, in practicing Siddha medicine, in carrying out rituals and worship, etc. The stakeholders tend to add to the facts, and manipulate the facts for their personal gains, etc. Taking up the role of a spokesperson for the Siddhas and other gurus too, some followers do tend to go overboard promising the sky. There is no harm in praising one's guru but we need to know the limits. Do not glorify them and make promises. Even Agathiyar does not promise but has us place the required efforts and be patient for time to unfold the goodies. Agathiyar asks us to stop praising him and look within for our souls. 

When a Russian in a wheelchair messaged me asking if Tavayogi could heal him, I replied that I did not know. He soon went over to Kallar ashram. Tavayogi later told me that he could not help him. When a reader from Delhi messaged me if Tavayogi could clear his blockages, the result of taking up several practices simultaneously, I told him to see his masters. Sadly his masters could not help him. I told him the same that I had not seen Tavayogi heal anyone. After 8 years when I reached out to him, he was still in pain. 

I shudder to think where all these shall lead to. I guess the Siddhas and gurus themselves have to come down and bring a close to all these false claims. As a devotee said Agathiyar at AVM accepts all and then begins to work on having them drop whatever they hold dear to them and never rejecting anyone on the onset for being a nonvegetarian or nonbeliever or a sinner or for numerous other unthinkable reasons that we come across, if anyone out there has been rejected for various reasons you are free to walk into AVM. We do not discriminate but shall invite you with open arms. We shall travel together exploring the realm of the Siddhas and learning their secrets to living a worthwhile and purposeful life.

உள்ளது நாற்பது

Just as we learn in the documentary "Astrum" that the light we are looking at is old," and that "Although light is the fastest thing we know, the image of the sun that we see from the earth is approximately 8 minutes and 20 seconds old, meaning we are viewing what the sun looked like a few minutes in the past", and "If you count how long it takes the photons generated within the sun's core to make their way through each layer of the sun before escaping into space, the light that reaches us is anywhere from 10,000 to 170,000 years old", Agathiyar says that like the sun and all things Gnanam dispense to one steps back into the past immediately after it is uttered, hence the reason he asks us to connect with the Prapanjam directly so that we would receive its message directly and not forget or rely on memory.

Living in the present is important, especially in the presence of a guru. But what we do is begin to vomit all that we saw, learned, and experienced before him, revisiting the past. Now we understand the reason we are asked to remain silent in the presence of the guru so that we might imbibe the messages that arrive in real-time and not dwell on the past knowledge or cook up the next question. I saw seekers going on for hours questioning Tavayogi when he was in a local Peedham or went on his rounds officiating other Peedhams. It is said that Lord Dhakshanamurthy stopped speaking to his disciples when he realized that it only invited more questions and queries from them. The moment he remained silent Gnanam dawned on his disciples. 

TIME TEACHES 2

The Siddhas will free you and never keep you captive. If we had been instilled with fear and devotion in temple worship, we carry that into the worship of Siddhas too. We fear the guru now. We begin to get caught in another web of Maya having slipped out of the former. Learn to say no even if Agahiyar was to give you an honorary title. One can say that he did not ask but Agathiyar has conferred on him, asked yourself if you would accept death then if Agathiyar was to bestow it right now. Know that this is how the Siddhas test us. Know that this is how the vasanas and desires in us come out into the open and see fruition. Rather than live out these desires and bring on and add further Karma, one should pray that Agathiyar burns these vasanas even before they arise in us. When Agathiyar sent two youths and asked that I initiate them into his mantra and teach them Vaasi or breathing techniques, he added that henceforth I shall be guru to them. I had never wanted to be one. But he said that I had asked for it. I was perplexed. I guess it was a vasana in me that was granted now. But as I was not keen he cut off the bond even before it could grow further. They never came around again. 

Asking me to build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading in 2002, which I considered a privilege then, and was floating on cloud nine, he burst the cloud and I landed on my face almost immediately when Sivabalan, who accompanied me in the reading and who had the readers come over from India and stay at his family home, told me that Agathiyar had requested 50 others the same. As Sivabalan told me to pursue since none had responded, I began to scout for an existing temple that its committee would allow to have me place Agathiyar. None agreed to part with the space they had. I dropped my search. 

When Supramania Swami ignited the flame again telling me that he wanted to build a temple for Lord Murugan in Tiruvannamalai and asked for financial assistance, we went ahead to buy a piece of land close to his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi temple. But a stranger walks up to him at his cottage or kudil he built at the site while awaiting for the temple to materialize and asks him why he was stepping back into Bakthi from Gnanam. He dropped his intention immediately. But when Agathiyar directed Tavayogi, to Agathiyar Vanam in the Kallar foothills after his bout of travels that brought him to Sathuragiri, and asked him to build an ashram and temple Tavayogi said that it was for the people. We helped him build a new ashram cum temple some 2 kilometers away later.

In 2018, Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading brought up the subject of the temple asking me to build one for him adding that I would do it differently when I asked him silently in my mind how many more temples he wanted. I wondered how different could a temple be? Later he sends Agathiyar to coax me into doing it coming through a devotee. As I chose to remain silent he went on and told me that he shall do it. As the said time of 18 months approached and there was nothing up, he told me in his Nadi that he had tested me. I guess I had passed his test. 

Recently in coming through a devotee, he says that my home was the temple that Lord Murugan meant. Just days ago he tutored me sharing his Gnanam telling me that what was built on the ground shall perish but that which we built in our hearts shall be forever in existence. I guess we had all carried the Siddhas and the deities in our hearts for Agathiyar revealed that we have been together for crores and crores of years. In pointing out to us that everything that materialized was a product of Maya that is apt to constant change, he dared us to find out that which never changes. The Atma in us is eternal. He asked that we begin to know it. In knowing it we shall come to know that he, all the Siddhas, deities, and us are one.

TIME TEACHES 1

When Suren who returned from India, passed me a couple of audio Cd's that he had received from Dr.V.N.Jayapalan in Bangalore, I listened to his songs on Agathiyar and the narration of the origin of Agathiyar's temple at Agasthiyampalli. When we heard that the visiting Siddha physician was in town we went over to meet him. I was pretty eager and excited to know more about Agasthiyampalli as it was here that Agathiyar opened his left eye in his granite statue to see us when I traveled with Tavayogi to the Siddha abodes in town and in the jungles in 2005. But the Dr. disappointed me telling me that there wasn't anything else to say. It told me that it was all in the Cd. He went on to speak about many other things that were of no interest to me then. But today I appreciate and understand his stand pretty well. Time and experience have taught me a lesson. As he did not elaborate further he did not alter the facts. What was conveyed to him through his meditation came to us As It Is. 

In the days of my Nadi reading the reader would write out the revelations taking a transcript of what Agathiyar spoke telling me that it was Agathiyar's directive, and only then begin to explain and elaborate further. But as the Nadi picked up and he had long queues of people waiting to read, he skipped writing it for me and went on to read and translate immediately. Coming back home I would listen and extract only the words of Agathiyar and continued writing it out. I was only interested in knowing the exact words that Agathiyar spoke and not the explanations. Recently in exposing Maya in all fields, Agathiyar pointed out that the tools and mediums could fabricate, and instill fear and anguish in listeners not with intent but in their excitement to explain the contents in the Nadi.

In 2017, when Suren and I sought to know the origin of Agathiyar as they say from the horse's mouth after being disillusioned with reading, hearing, and watching from numerous sources, Agathiyar though he hesitated for a moment in the Nadi, asking us why we wanted to explore the source, Aadhi and Antham, obliged us by giving us a little insight into his birth.  But on the onset he instructed in the Nadi that the reader should read it As It Is and not attempt to give an explanation or elaborate further. 

Agathiyar told me and others some time back to read the original texts of the songs of the saints and not to go for the translation, commentary, and explanations given. He told us that the author be it a Siddha or Nayanmar or other saints shall come within to clarify what they had experienced As It Is. As the mediums are bound to taint the sacredness of the sacred texts and words of saint, Siddhas, Rishis, and Mahaans, with their explanations and commentaries, Agathiyar has us refrain from reading them to avoid confusion. Only the saint knows what he meant to speak or write. Besides the fact that we could err in our understanding of the subject, we could end up giving limbs and forms, tags, and names to these in wanting to simplify them for the masses. 

LETTING GO

Spiritualism is not about acquiring but of letting go. Life that begins with acquiring things, concepts, etc has to end empty. If we had acquired every material possible right from the very cells to a body and attire and position and respect, money and fame, properties and achievements, all these has to go either forcefully in death or willingly before facing death. 

It is not that we should not taste life and the pleasures that it has to offer but to be ready to drop them when called for. It is about not getting attached. For one who has emptied himself what appears eventually as darshan is his soul. This is Atma Darisanam. He stands naked and uncloth having dropped the numerous veils and layers. He has entered emptiness or Vetavezhi loosely translated as Eternity.

BOOBY TRAP

I was a follower back then as a kid, obedient and respectful. I took up worship after leaving my family home and taking up a career upon completing my college studies. Actually, it was to fill my time or rather kill my time after work. I used to worship at dawn and dusk and visit the temples in the vicinity. I made friends with others and their families and began to see the troubles they went through. I began to question God if it was justified to just sit and watch them suffer. Wasn't a God who is said to be compassionate supposed to save his devotees and keep them from harm's way? Seeing my mind in turmoil Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and told me to shelve all my questions to a later date. I got the answer to their sufferings when I saw the Nadi after 14 years in 2002 where Agathiyar opened up about Karma and its effects mentioning that I too had brought with me the baggage. He gave me remedies to help unload the baggage. Three years into the first reading all doors opened up mysteriously. With the coming of my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who merited me his entire 40 years of Tavam or austerities it skyrocketed me up the ladder as in the game of snake and ladder. As I took up the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi and inherited "the cash deposit" that I received from my guru, my second guru whom I met in 2005 told me that he was surprised that I had made it this far unscathed and hurt. Taking up his teachings in the absence of Supramania Swami then, I was shown Agathiyar officially. Traveling the journey carrying out rituals and Yoga that Tavayogi taught us, Agathiyar came to add to the Gnanam that we received from him. On Wednesday he asked us to even drop that too adding to the long list of gifts and treasures Agathiyar gifted us and had us drop later. He tells us that all these were booby traps laid out on the path to trap us and keep us in the clutches of Maya further. It is all his divine play. 

Agathiyar asks us to quit investigating into his origin and stop singing his praises and wonders but instead wants us to investigate our souls. Prod the soul and come to know it, he asks. I was surprised when a staunch devotee of a saint who lived some 353 years ago, uttered Agathiyar's mantra when Agathiyar asked what mantra was going on in him. I was expecting him to recite his guru's name and mantra. I believe his soul replied then. In coming before us Agathiyar always addresses our souls. But we misunderstand and think he is asking the name and form that we believe is us. We come before him asking for favors and seek boons that bring on pleasures and comfort. We let him know our worldly desires, which he time and again reminds us to drop. But yet he gives his blessings. But one must remember to face the consequences of our asking, either way, whether it does us good or harm later, alone.

If we had our parents and grandparents to guide us in the beginning and teachers later, for those seeking to know themselves, the gurus come along. But Agathiyar tells us that like other gurus he is only there to show us the way. He does not produce the results for us. We have to strive and work to accomplish the results. 

Just as we keep our homes clean and tidy, he asked that we keep our body, mind, and thoughts pure. This would suffice. 

BECOMING LIGHT

In the series "Photographer S1 E1" we are told "The only way you can change the world is with stories. And the bigger your legend becomes, the easier it is to share the story. People want to hear it. They want to listen."

Stories have been told of ancient times since ancient times. Sitting around a fire, sitting under the night sky, whenever communities gather these stories were acted out and reenacted as in plays and stage dramas. Now it is told through some moving movies. This blog too is about stories. Stories about adventurers walking the path of the masters, teachers, gurus, and Siddhas before them. In adopting their ways we too find a new path that is viable and appropriate for the current times. No one can possibly carry out the feat that Agathiyar is said to have carried out - sitting on the bottom of the ocean in tapas or tavam for 12 long years. Times have changed. What is and was appropriate for then would not be now.

But we too have come a long way in this journey having taken, according to Agathiyar, crores of births. We have lived in the past. We need not live in the past now. We have to drop it and move on. We have to usher the new and drop the old. That is progress. That is evolution. What travels with us is the experiences we gain in each birth. This is what child prodigies tend to tap into and continue. Agathiyar too says that we continue from where we left.

The idea in taking birth is, contrary to the common belief that it is to accumulate be it wealth and knowledge, is to drop it after having tasted and experienced it. Following in the footsteps of a child, we need to move on instead of hugging these toys throughout our lives. 

If Tavayogi told us to come out of Bakthi into Gnanam giving us the rituals in worship to experience and later taught us Yoga that prepared the body to become an abode of the divine or rather cleansed the debilitated and dark altar within us to receive the Light, both he and Agathiyar infused Gnanam in stages after having us go through the experiences. In having us drop each method and way, as did Ramalinga Adigal in progressing on the Pilgrim's Progress, Agathiyar days ago reminded us to even drop Gnanam acquired. If earlier in the eighties Lord Shiva coming in a dream told me to drop my baggage of readings and knowledge acquired, in coming to read the Nadi in 2002 Agathiyar pointed out the huge baggage of Karma that I was carrying and over the years helped me lay it down, and had me lay down the guilt that I carried too, asking me first to pardon myself, and others too, added that he was the mastermind behind the show wanting me to have those experiences too. All these experiences will help empower our souls to attain Atma Balam or Soul Power he tells us now.  

If he told us earlier that Gnanam wasn't gifted but was an accumulation of our experiences traveling first in the material world and later moving within the chakras until it dawns on us, last Wednesday, he asked me what further use is Gnanam to one who has seen the space or emptiness . "வெட்டவெளியை கண்டவனுக்கு எதற்கு ஞானம்?"

If we have always been tuned to look for the divine and its miracles outside, the Siddhas teach us to see it within. In preparing this body to become a temple or clearing and cleaning this temple, opening up the doors and windows to allow a breath of fresh air in, lighting up or kindling the dying fire in us to burn bright, we become the house of God and the very light. Here then live Agathiyar, Muruga, Shiva, (and the other deities and Siddhas), and us, he says. 

I guess there was a reason many sacred texts were burned or destroyed in floods in the past. It was to free man I suppose from his over-dependency on them to the extent that man became fanatics and less humane as he was supposed to be. Ram Dass who says in the documentary "Becoming Nobody" that life is no error and that it was all meant to be for us to gain experiences, shares his "formless friend" Emmanuel's words that "You took a human birth. You are so busy being Holy. Why don't you try being Human?"

THE POTHOLES

When Agathiyar asked us why we came to the Siddha path some time back, many could not answer and chose to remain silent. Those who answered dished out wonderful replies such as wanting to be with him, to serve him, and wanting the generally acclaimed states of Mukti, Gnanam, etc. Just as we are blind walking the streets in the material world we seem to walk the alleys of the spiritual world blindfolded too. We literally do not have a vision in the former and a vision of the latter. The irony is many begin to lead others just as the blind lead another. I pray that I am not one of those blind leading another. 

Just as Ramalinga Adigal in mentioning his journey in his songs, after seeing newer frontiers in his life later, discarded certain methods and ways of approach that he had traveled earlier in life, much of what is written in these blog in the earlier days might not hold water or have a weightage now as we have come to progress on the pilgrim's journey, having gained new insights and experiences. So should I stamp these as false and remove these posts? Unlike certain quarters opting to hide Ramalinga Adigal's earlier works from public sight, good sense told me to let this blog postings be for each soul has to walk the path passing through each milestone and coming to a realization. Sadly I am told that many who profess the way of Ramalinga Adigal step into his final method and ways rather than wanting to travel the tried and proven path from the start and gain those experiences for themselves too. It was only after I traveled the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam that I arrived at Gnanam which helped me know and distinguish Maya that had clothed all of creation and every single sight and speech, thought and action and all the phases mentioned too. The false is required to know the truth just as darkness is required to see the light. If I am all light how do I see and experience it? Hence we read that the Little Soul who was with God asked to come down for the experience in Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversation with God". 

If the idea of moving into spiritualism was to seek the Self and settle in it, thinking we have escaped the clutches of the material world we get caught in the traps and snares of the spiritual world. We seem to jump from the frying pan into the fire. There are those who in wanting to gather and bring others to the way, envision and build centers, ashrams, peedhams to have them congregate. We come to face an exact scenario just as we do with a home, but a much larger one with having to build and maintain these structures. Just as in the home, here too there are utility bills that need to be settled monthly but on a bigger scale. Just as we entertain visitors to our homes to a meal, funds are needed to continue feeding visitors to these centers. We begin to source for money losing our sights on our goal. Worst still is that we cannot bring ourselves to pass on our responsibilities to another, wanting to hold on til death do us part, or we take ill. Just as a person cried out that someone was pickpocketing his cash as he lay dying, now laying ill we fear that those entrusted to take over the establishment would pocket the public funds that we have painfully collected over the years for their own use. Then there are some who eye these posts and get disappointed and leave when they are sidelined. 

Then we have those who are so focused, adamant, rigid, and fanatic for all the wrong reasons. Their sight is set on the meals rather than the practice. What is vegetarian? The greens that grow in the soil feed on nutrients derived from things falling to the ground and rotting including decaying carcasses. In BBC Earth's "Planet Earth lll - Forests", Richard Attenborough tells us that the forest in Canada flourishes because the bears catch and bring the salmon ashore and after eating them leave their remains behind.

"This annual feast helps her to fatten ready for the winter ahead. But it also helps the patch of forest where she lives. This female has an unusual relationship with the forest. Every fish carcass she leaves behind decays releasing nutrients that soak into the soil. And there they are collected by a network of fungi. The treads attach themselves to the tree's roots. And nutrients from the fish collected by the fungi are then passed on to the trees. As a consequence, the forest around the river grows three times faster than elsewhere. And some trees here become as tall as any in the world. And provides the bears with a healthy home. We now know that such relationships exist in the forest all over the world." 

The water that we drink is from the rivers where all forms of organisms flourish. The air that we breathe in carries with it minute living organisms too. The skin carrying minute organisms come into contact with other humans and meat forms. Yes, man himself is a pack of meat made of muscles and bones and ends as food for certain larger animals when they cross paths or ends as food for smaller organisms when he drops his carcass to the ground contributing to the food chain. Who then is a true vegetarian as the term has been made out to be? It just doesn't make sense and the tussle doesn't seem to end. Maya indeed is in all worlds. It is not the meal but the intent to kill that is in question here as in the Buddhist practice. What matters is to drop the thought that moves us into action. Doctors are known to ask vegetarian patients recovering from operations and illnesses to take fish as their bodies need a lot of protein during these stages of recovery to rebuild cells and tissues. Agathiyar and Bhogar have asked certain devotees to take fish too telling them that their bodies need them. There is an allocation in Siddha medicine to prescribe fish as medicine to patients. A Siddha physician we know has asks his vegetarian patients to consume fish for their bodily needs and to recover. As someone said the heavens are not made of vegetarians alone, let us not become fanatics. Who then needs to be a vegetarian? Those who desire to transform this body back into Light.

If sex is considered taboo in the spiritual world, Agathiyar asked us to have a healthy relationship with our spouse telling us to practice healthy sex too. Ramalinga Adigal like Agathiyar has advocated it. Tirumular gives guidelines to determine the sex of the child yet to be born from this unison. Bhogar has spoken about the sex trade. Agathiyar went into intimate details of intimacy to a couple he met asking me to remain by his side and telling me that I too needed to know. He says these are required by the body. He jolts us from our dream world asking us why, when he stood before Lord Shiva as a full-fledged Siddha, Rishi, and Muni, a renunciate and a yogi, Lord Shiva told him that he had not attained completeness or Paripuranam. The Lord told him that he had yet to get married. Lord Shiva fixed his marriage to Lobama. 

Let us not cut our ties with others just because they chose to take a different meal. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they are born into another race or religion. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they hold on to another faith and beliefs. Essentially we are all humans. As such we should be humane towards all. As man is often considered superior to others let us take care of the lesser beings just as it is our duty to take care of the young.

I am glad that Tavayogi at the onset broke my hold on things and attachment even to him showing me to Agathiyar instead. I am glad that as I near the end of my life and my journey Agathiyar has broken my attachment even towards him, tearing the masks of Maya into shreds. I am glad I never fell for all these or as Agathiyar says for want of its experiences, with their grace, managed to escape to safe ground after placing my foot into these dark pits.

A TOOL

I was the shy and timid type back then. But when we, the lads of Indian origin gathered together and spearheaded the setting up of an Indian Cultural and Arts Society at secondary school, I was picked to head the society. Later turning up at the Parent Teachers Association meeting at my daughter's school, I was nominated and elected the chairman though I tried to turn it down. When Tavayogi came I brought him over to a home that had turned into a center. Tavayogi cornered me by telling the gathering that I shall speak about the Siddhas. I sat dumbfounded. I knew nothing about them as I was pretty new too to the path. But since I knew something about Tavayogi I spoke about him for a couple of minutes. My mind raced to find a way to escape. I began to sing the Arutperunjothi mantra knowing that everyone would join in. The mantra saved me that day. 

When I began to write about my maiden travel to India on several websites back then and carried videos on Kallar ashram in 2003 and 2005 respectively, a friend picked up a photo of my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and posted it on his FB. A negative comment from his friend drove me to remove all the sites and postings, not wanting to let others smear my gurus. Narrating my action later to Tavayogi he asked me, "Why son? Let it be." Taking his desire into account, I soon began to start from zero. Later seeing the ease with which we could attach multimedia on blogs, not having to learn the tools required in websites, I began to blog. Agathiyar then comes by giving the thumbs-up and encourages me to write further often giving me the subject, words, and sentences too. 

Knowing I was not cut to be a teacher for I never had the patience to teach, I kept the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that I learned from Tavayogi to myself. Furthermore, he never told me to teach another. Agathiyar comes along and asks me to teach Mahindren and has Mahindren teach the others later. When Agathiyar brought youths to watch and participate in my home puja after their Nadi readings in 2013, I never saw myself as a guru but one who was journeying together with them. Some time back he introduced three souls asking me to initiate and teach them both his mantra and practice, telling me that I had desired to be a guru. I questioned him back, "When did I ask for it" and he remained silent. Soon I came to terms that maybe it was a Vasana brought over from a past life that had to see the light of day. But soon they never came back nor contacted me. I was freed from yet another trap. Looking back I was wise in many ways to reject the offers, either at the onset or in the midst, that he made along the journey. Building a temple, starting an ashram/peedham/movement/  etc. The gift of the Nadi for my use and others. The gift of healing others. The gift of being a medium for them to come through and sort others' lives. 

I am truly at peace now just attending to "nothing" for he had relieved me of all the doings. There is nothing more to do, attend to, or say. All the puja has stopped. The rituals have stopped. The charities too. The Yoga practices too were brought to a halt. What he has me carry on is writing this blog. He had told me that I shall remain behind the curtains which I was delighted to hear. I shall remain his tool and let him write. 

I WONDER WHY

No one wants my money. It is true. When I befriended a friend at my office who frequented an astrologer, I too began to consult him. He never spoke about payment. As he was a Siddha physician too, when he passed me the Siddha medicines, he never asked for payment. After the demise of the astrologer and Siddha physician whom I came to consult since 1996, when I saw another Siddha physician he too never spoke about payment till this day. When I read the Nadi for the very first time in 2002, Agathiyar stipulated that I pass over an amount as Naadikku Dhanam or a token of appreciation to the Siddhas for documenting and revealing about my(story) in the Nadi. That was the only moment an amount was mention that I pass on to the reader. Later when I read the Nadi some 56 times till 2019 and again recently, the Nadi reader never spoke about payment. I wonder why? Although all these souls never charged me for consultations and medicine, I always left a token behind before leaving. All things fell into place in my life too without me seeking, be it my studies, my career, my marriage, my home, the path and my gurus. I wonder why? 

So how do I repay for God's kindness? I guess by speaking his greatness. Would that suffice? Many in adoration for him declare their lives in surrender. But the irony is that the very life we are living is not ours to part with. It is his gift. So, what is ours that we can give him in return for his kindness? Dropping the notion that we are separate. Dropping this state of Maya. In identifying with him, the part becomes the whole or complete or Paripuranam. This is what Agathiyar meant when he replied asking if we were not one, when he asked that I drop my attachment to him too.

JEEVANMUKTA

Agathiyar opened his eyes in both his granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam in 2005 and told me that these miracles would continue once I was back home from my pilgrimage. When he told me to commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and have it brought over to my home in 2010, he asked us to "energize" and give it "life" by chanting or reciting his name 100,000 times. With continuous libation to his statue and worship, Agathiyar opened his eyes in the bronze statue in 2013. Returning from his ashram, Tavayogi had us start doing the Homam in our home too. When I dragged my feet in doing it as I was not keen on rituals, Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that it was for the good of Prapanjam and all its creation. When Tavayogi started us on Yoga giving us several techniques in 2007, and when my Muladhara chakra was activated unknowingly in 2010, I had extreme cruciating pain in my back and body over the next few years. Agathiyar asked me to lay off the practices in 2012, only to have me start back in 2019. In 2023 he had me part with his statue only to return several weeks ago. He now tells us that he was not (only) in the statue and asked to refrain from performing further rituals and just imbibe and take in his energies just as we should at Samadhis. He asked me that since I had successfully let go of my attachment to his form (as in his statue), when was I going to let go of my attachment to him? When I replied, "How could I?" he answered, "Aren't our souls one?" Then we have Sivavakiyar through his songs question us if the act of circumambulating and placing flowers at the feet of stone images or idols of gods, and if the act of reciting mantras would bring these stones to speak, when the Lord resides in each of us. 

“நட்ட கல்லைச் சுற்றி வந்து நாலு புஷ்பம் சாற்றியே; சுற்றி சுற்றி வந்து முணு, முணுக்க சொல்லும் மந்திரம் ஏதடா! சுட்ட சட்டி சட்டுவம் கறிச்சுவை அறியுமோ! நட்டகல்லும் பேசுமோ; நாதன் உள்ளிருக்கையில்..!”

If Agathiyar started me with carrying out worship of the Siddhas, reciting the names of Siddhas, making offerings of food, bathing, and clothing his statue, lighting the sacrificial fire and placing offerings in it, then we have Agathiyar in his songs tell us that once the mind settles there is no need for rituals, to chant mantras, nor to control the breath, etc. As we had unknowingly brought our focus and concentration to these acts, it was akin to meditation. The mind eventually settles on its own. In carrying out all these precise methods and practices, helped tame the mind.

மனமது செம்மையானால் மந்திரம் செபிக்க வேண்டா
மனமது செம்மையானால் வாயுவை உயர்த்த வேண்டா
மனமது செம்மையானால் வாசியை நிறுத்த வேண்டா
மனமது செம்மையானால் மந்திரம் செம்மையாமே

It might seem that the messages of the Siddhas contradict each other. We have to understand that there is no one formula for all. Each method and practice, remedy or ritual is customized for each soul that steps up before the Siddhas seeking refuge, salvation, solace, and peace. It is given when and if we are ready to receive and put it into practice and no sooner. We have to understand that the method and practices too have to be dropped, just as we let go of our hold and grip on the rope to reach further up. Hence Sariyai prepares us to receive the path, with us visiting temples in our neighborhood regularly, going on pilgrimages, and praying at home. When we are ready God whom we accepted as residing in temples and in idols and paintings takes the form of a guru in the physical form to take us on the path most suited for and desired by our soul or JeevAtma. God who introduces us to our gurus, as he did introduce me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, has the guru "re-introduce" us to our long-lost buddy, the soul, bridging the bond we once had with our soul before birth, during conception, while in the womb and only to leave us after several years of our existence as a child. If the rituals help bridge both our worlds, the earth and the heavens, the guru helps draw the fallen bridge between the gross body and the subtle soul. Just as Tavayogi stepped back after introducing me to Agathiyar and Agathiyar stepped back after introducing us to Vaalai, she, in turn, stepped back to introduce us to the larger Prapanjam beyond form and name. The guru stepped back after drawing the veil and showing us our true Self, the JeevAtma which now takes reign of its kingdom once again and henceforth dictates us accordingly. Having us travel the path or phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, the JeevAtma appears before us bringing on Gnanam that dispels the ignorance and our perception of the world and all in it, revealing its nature that it is there to stay forever, in life and death. We learn that only the ParamAtma was, is, and shall be around forever. Life and death are only doors that we have passed through numerous times for eons and ages. The JeevAtma comes to help shed the previous beliefs, practices, and bindings we have on all things external and changing. It makes us understand that all that changes is Maya and has us seek that which is beyond change. We settle in the JeevaAtma and carry out its dictates. The search stops. All reading stops. All actions that we desire stop. Every move of ours is that which the JeevAtma dictates. The JeevAtma in us reunites with the Atmas in others and all of nature, realizing that it was all one all the while. The JeevAtma in us begins to connect with others and elevates them too to know their Self too. As the JeevAtma is a part of the whole, the ParamAtma, we become enlightened souls or Jeevan Muktas. We then become a JeevanMukta having attained Mukti while living. 

NEED FOR ANSWERS

If I was with God and chose to come to take on experiences and learn lessons, why should I being a soul (JivAtma) that is part of the whole (ParamAtma) choose to live life in only one body and not many simultaneously? Is this the reason I came across a Nadi carrying my name, my parent's name, number of siblings, and career all told right but the name of my wife was that of another? It is said that we are made in the same image amounting to seven. How do we explain these? Was this a parallel life that I was living? 

If I was a part of the whole, then I am also in every Tom, Dick, and Harry, living a life and taking on the experiences of this very moment in everyone. In this sense, if we feed another we're feeding ourselves. If we injure another we're hurting ourselves, right? This means that the One, that is whole has taken on all forms in creation and assimilated these experiences for itself using individual forms and names as in us and others. What a game it is. Is this what Maya is all about? Manifestations of the One and the whole. 

This and other questions are in need of an answer. For instance how far do we intervene in other's Karma? In carrying our baggage of Karma, each time we cross paths with another we are either shedding or adding on to our load. So is it with others. In the event we extend a helping hand how much do we do? Where do we draw the line? Most of the professions and businesses too are constantly engaging in saving lives and changing the living standards of others by providing housing, food, clothing, education, etc. In providing these we are helping to extend the life span of people as in the former and improve their living standards as in the latter. This is what Agathiyar too has spelled out in his 5 tenets to mankind listing his purpose here. Then we have another ideology of sitting back and just watching the world and its affairs go by. Some saints advocate this. So do we follow in the footsteps of Mother Teresa and help others or sit back and mind our own business? If it was not for the Siddhas pleading to Lord Shiva to allow them to reveal the divine secrets behind the machinery of creation and its sustenance, who would we turn to to escape the time loop and the web that we have spun for ourselves? These are grey areas that are not answered as yet. 

KARMA

Karma which has become a household word among many is true only until we come to the Siddhas. When things go wrong which they often do, we are pointed to the Nadi readers and the Nadi readings. They pass on the messages of the Siddhas, at times over-emphasized and with a pinch of fear instilled. While some choose to brush them aside many go along with the directives to carry out remedies seeking for solace and peace in their home front, careers, and everything under the sky. For those who choose to take up the path after settling their past scores and debts, Karma is not a threatening issue anymore. The Siddhas hardly raise the issue again. Whatever happens after locking gears with the Siddhas, is now an accumulation of experiences and learning lessons. If initially upon revealing our past Karma we are sent to carry out remedies or Parikaram at specific temples and places, after shifting into high gear on the path of the Siddhas, all our actions are in tune and turn out to appease the remaining Karma without even we realizing it. To those few who have earned the grace of the guru or Siddhas, and put in practice whatever is taught, the Karma is burned into ashes by their very practices.

I was sad to see someone manipulate the facts and tell his audience that there were no past and future births. Messaging him later he apologized telling me that he was forced to say this since everyone who came to him for a cure either harped on Karma or never gave a care for it, the former associating every happening with Karma and the latter putting aside every work and effort to another day or the next birth. Although his intention was good in having them live the day and not fret on the past or postpone a task to another date, he manipulated the truth of the matter. 

Knowing about Karma is a valuable tool to bring us back on the right track. But just as a tool in the hands of a 'weak' person can harm him, it could bring one to his knees never able to walk again. He begins to fear the word and all his actions or might even begin to fear his own shadows.

It is man who creates fear in others. God loves us for being ourselves. Neale Donald Walsch shares God's words with us in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe" by Penguin Random House, "If you saw you, as God sees you, you would smile a lot."

Agathiyar in consoling us tells us that even the bad and ugly is his work for he wants us to have these experiences too. Eventually, in giving us these experiences he is strengthening the soul, empowering it to face all consequences. Anyway, unknowing to us, the soul would have asked for these experiences. Let us take it all in our stride. There is a learning for us each moment.

COMPLETENESS

When Agathiyar called me to the worship of the Siddhas and their path in my very first Nadi reading in 2002, the thing that came to my mind was how was I to worship them. By his grace, Sivabalan who brought in the Nadi reader from India handed me a painting of Agathiyar. Later the Nadi reader Senthilkumar led me on a Siddha puja that Agathiyar had me carry out a ritual 'Naadikku Dhanam' which was a token of appreciation to them for documenting my past, present, and future.

In my thirst to know more the first place that came to my mind was the local affiliate of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar of Ongaarakudil, Turaiyur. I reached out to them at the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil having seen them collect donations in the streets and public places. I bought whatever material they had in the form of books, audio and video CDs.  I bought all the books on Siddhas that the bookshops in town carried. Later I seived through the net and retrieved whatever material I could lay my hands on. But my hunger and thirst to know could not be appeased by all these means. The centers I visited did not carry out rituals but were more focused on sourcing funds for their charitable programs. The books that carried the songs of the Siddhas were incomprehensive as they were said to be wrapped in Paripasai. The translations too did not help. The audio and videos were repetitive just like these books. If the former went round and round as if going after a goose the latter carried the same content in every other book. The net too was of little help as it carried the same stories on myths and legends surrounding the Siddhas. 

As Agathiyar asked me to worship them, to my understanding I had to devise some kind of ritual. Staying in tune with what was carried out in the worship of deities in the temples, I began to compile the method and the contents from all these various sources. I now had a long list of names of Siddhas to recite. I modified the Puja rituals to suit the Siddhas based on the books as a reference. Everything fell into place. I carried out the Siddha puja in the comfort and convenience of my home. With the coming of Tavayogi, he had me start carrying out oblation or the Homam. Later Agathiyar coming in the form of a bronze statue had me carry out libation or Abhisegam. My puja was complete.

Coming before us Tavayogi called for us to step out of Bakthi into Gnanam. And so he taught us Yogam which would lead us eventually to Gnanam. Yogam arose the sleeping giant and we saw the energies that seemed as going havoc initially settle into bliss and calm. Today we revel in its majesty. Bodily changes are pretty obvious and so are the internal changes. 

With Agathiyar and the other Siddhas coming through devotees, Gnanam was dispensed. We got to know about Maya. Maya was mentioned to me the very first-day Tavayogi entered my home. Sending him off in joy, I thanked him profusely for taking up my invitation. He shut me up for good telling me that I was living in Maya and that he was no saint. He killed the attachment that would have germinated, grown, blossomed, and bloomed in me in the years to come that day. He saved me from becoming attached to the name and form in the name of a physical guru. Visiting his ashram later he killed my attachment to the talisman and other 'do good' accessories. 

Agathiyar in sending newcomers to the path to my home to witness our Pornami Puja brought down the very mansion Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) (that he built in 2013) in 2019. He saved me from becoming attached to the name and form in the name of a movement and the numerous activities that brought on a 'high'. 

Coming through devotees after the demise of Tavatogi and in the absence of the Nadi readers (who returned to India in the wake of the pandemic), to dispense Gnanam, he killed the mockingbird and saved me from becoming dependent on these means and methods too.

I was left all alone to fend for myself. In these periods of isolation and moments of silence, Agathiyar revealed himself as the very soul or Atma. Agathiyar who appeared in the words of the Nadi in 2002; in a painting and later as a statue, worshiped at my home; in the temples and statues during my pilgrimage to India in 2003; as a physical guru Tavayogi and in the rituals shown and done in 2005; in the jungles and caves and abodes of the Siddhas traveling with Tavayogi, where he opened his eyes in the granite statues at these temples; in the Prana that entered the body as a result of the Yoga exercises learned from Tavayogi in 2007; and the energies that traversed the internals bringing on a subtle transformation without my knowledge in in those years and erupt as pain and suffering in 2011; in the bronze statue where he opened his eyes in 2013; in the eyes of the hungry, poor and unfortunate as we carried out charity and feeding beginning in 2013; as the words of wisdom coming through devotees and conveying these messages beginning in 2021; as the Prapanjam that is him and in him and that we are all a part of; he now reveals himself as the soul or Atma that is in us and we in him. To know the Atma is to know him. To know him is to end the search. To know him is to have attained him. To know him is to be one with him. To know him is to be complete or attain Paripuranam. 

WAKE UP

Watching the movie "Edge of Tomorrow" makes us not want to know the future. The movie depicts Major William Cage caught in a time loop as he tries to find a way to defeat the invaders. Agathiyar too asked us how many times must he insert the soul into these bodies. He wants us to get it right this time around. But alas we are all still honeymooning. 

Going by the events of the past 5 years when the Siddhas decided to actively come into our lives and maneuver each and every move of us, we are not ready to surrender our free will. Lord Muruga had asked each and every one of us gathered to surrender fully so that he could give us something that would bring the desired change, a change that would bring about a total transformation. But we each held on to our dear free will. We still wanted to be in charge. Today after some 5 years we are still holding on to our dear lives and possessions, holding on to relationships and positions. We fail to see that it is all a mirage, a dream, a flowing river. It is all the work of Maya.

We think we can bring a change but it looks like we cannot since we are back at it life after life again. Each time we wake up in a different place but with the same souls trying to get it right again, just as in this movie and a close remake in Tamil, "Maanaadu" where the lead actor and a police officer are trapped in a time loop, and forced to live the day over and over again. It is said that Konganar has seen 18 Kurushetra battles. Scientists are now discovering cement and plastics in use in the past. It is very likely that the world has seen itself being destroyed and restored again and again just as the students hit the restart button each time they fail in the qualifying exams for entering the Indian civil service in the movie "12th Fail". Agathiyar asked us how many times must he insert the soul into these bodies. He too is tired. He has tried waking us up from our sleep and dreams. But we are not budging.

WE ARE HOME

Going by the many stories told of the Siddhas that we have heard and read the Siddhas never died because of illness and left their bodies to rot. It is said that they interned their bodies in Samadhi state. The Nayanmars too never died as a result of illness. They are said to physically merge with the Light or Jothi. The latter-day saints and gurus seem to fall to disease and illness. Why we wonder? If God took the form of some saints to preach the way, with time as we and our ancestors accumulated much Karma, the debts could not be cleared by us given even the numerous births to shed them. Hence God as the saint and guru had to hasten our journey back home by relieving us of the baggage we carried with us. These saints and gurus took on the load. They succumbed to illness and diseases for our sake just as Christ was put on the stake to bring salvation to our souls. 

The Siddhas being saviors took on our Karma for only then do we come to know the guru. Only then can the guru show us the path to redemption. The guru draws the veil aside and has us see our soul or Atma, a part of the source, that had all the while been with us, hidden behind the veil. 

Just moments ago listening to Ramalinga Adigal's "Arputham Arputhame" suddenly made me realize that whatever he wrote actually has taken place at AVM too. 

1. அற்புதம் அற்புத மே - அருள்
அற்புதம் அற்புத மே.

2. சிற்பதம் பொற்பதஞ் சீரே சிறந்தது
சித்தாடு கின்ற திருநாள் பிறந்தது
கற்பத நெஞ்சக் கரிசு துறந்தது
கற்றபொய்ந் நூல்கள் கணத்தே மறந்தது 

3. செத்தார் எழுகின்ற திருநாள் அடுத்தது
சிவநெறி ஒன்றே எங்கும்தலை எடுத்தது
இத்தா ரணிமுதல் வானும் உடுத்தது
இறவா வரந்தான் எனக்குக் கொடுத்தது 

4. ஆனந்த நாடகம் ஆடுதல் சார்ந்தது
அடுத்த தருணம் இதுவாக நேர்ந்தது
ஈனந்த மாயை இருள்வினை சோர்ந்தது
என்னருட் சோதிஎன் உள்ளத்தில் ஆர்ந்தது 

5. சத்திய ஞான சபைஎன்னுள் கண்டனன்
சன்மார்க்க சித்தியை நான்பெற்றுக் கொண்டனன்
நித்திய ஞான நிறையமு துண்டனன்
நிந்தை உலகியற் சந்தையை விண்டனன் 

6. வஞ்சகர் அஞ்சினர் வாய்மூடிச் சென்றனர்
வந்து திரும்பவும் வாயிலில் நின்றனர்
தஞ்சம் எமக்கருள் சாமிநீ என்றனர்
சன்மார்க்க சங்கத் தவர்களே வென்றனர் 

7. புறங்கூறி னாரெல்லாம் புல்லெனப் போயினர்
பொற்படிக் கீழ்ப்புற மீளவு மேயினர்
மறங்கூறி னோம்என்செய் வோம்என்று கூயினர்
வாழிய என்றுசொல் வாயினர் ஆயினர் அற்புதம்

8. வெவ்வினைக் காடெலாம் வேரொடு வெந்தது
வெய்ய மாமாயை விரிவற்று நொந்தது
செவ்விய ஞானம் சிறப்புற வந்தது
சித்திகள் யாவையும் செய்திடத் தந்தது 

9. சாதி சமயச் சழக்கெலாம் அற்றது
சன்மார்க்க ஞான சபைநிலை பெற்றது
மேதியிற் சாகாத வித்தையைக் கற்றது
மெய்யருட் சோதிஎன் உள்ளத்தில் உற்றது 

We are home.

ARRIVING HOME

If Lord Shiva had us drop our hold on all our learnings, perceptions, and views coming through a dream, it is pretty clear where Agathiyar has brought us today. Having us pick up home puja to the Siddhas after a Nadi reading, long after our parents brought us to the temples in Sariyai, he introduced us to Tavayogi who in turn introduced us to rituals and charity as in Kriyai and parted us with his science of Yoga. Agathiyar too gives us rituals and breathing techniques in further Nadi readings to carry out, comes to monitor the rising energies within, and brings us even to let go of the Siddhis that came along just as Tavayogi had us let go of all our previous hold on desires, wishes, and possessions and Lord Shiva having us drop our learnings. Finally, in dispensing Gnana he even had us leave that behind and not carry it with us. Today we stand naked before him with no desires, wishes, or possessions, doing no rituals, charity, or Yogic practice, not carrying the Gnana, and even have dropped our attachment to him just as he had asked of us. We stand aloft as the Atma that is his and him. The many and eventual final two have become one. He has brought us to the teachings of Ramana Maharishi. And who best to tell us of his teachings but Sadhu Om through his songs on the Bhagawan and Arunachala. Sriram Parthasarathy has brought us some gems of Sadhu Om that had brought both Ramana Maharishi and Yogi Ramsuratkumar amongst us listening intently with us. 

THANKS AGAIN

When I see the readership increase I am humbled. Thank you very much, readers. I guess there is an iota of truth in these pages. Most of the time I too am taken by surprise by these writings. Everything seems to fall into place. The devotees who contributed their experiences recently said the same too. I guess it is his grace that brings me to continue writing. 

The guru comes to dispel the darkness in us. The guru comes to dispel the ignorance in us. The guru comes to reveal the Atma within us. Henceforth the guru takes a step back letting the Atma take its rightful place. The Atma that was veiled by divine play or lila is freed to start its journey back to its source. Henceforth one's life takes a turning point. If before this he was taking care of his worldly needs and issues, now he begins a journey knowing he was the Atma that was separated from his home all this while. The Atma rejoices in going back home after having taken in the experiences it desired to live through. It heads home. 

The clarity that comes by association with the guru, is to be shared with others. This is the wish of Tavayogi, the guru in the physical form, and Agathiyar who is in the subtle form. Hence the reason this blog is kept alive. Agathiyar breathes fresh air into it each day, keeping it alive for the benefit of seekers. I am only a tool that delivers these messages. Let us together travel this wonderful journey of discovery and arriving where we started back then eons ago. 

WATCHING THE FUN

Agathiyar who spoke in classic Tamil of the Sangam era was forced to come down and deliver the Nadi readings in the common day language so that we could understand him better. Certain beliefs and faiths too have been sidelined from the mainstream followings. For instance, belief in Karma and being the Light and returning to it too has been dropped by certain faiths. It looks like besides all things including language, writings, culture, and tradition, even religion and spiritualism too have gone through many changes. 

As we have seen earlier if whatever undergoes a metamorphosis and transformation and change is a work of Maya, that which underlies these changes and stands witness to these changes has to be the absolute. This is what we are to search for or rather discover and settle in eventually having come out of this maze of Maya without being caught or lost in it. This is the true journey that Tavayogi meant, I have come to understand. The discovery of our true nature. The oneness to the source. Being the very source. In realizing that we are one with and in the source, what more is there to do? I guess this is the reason Agathiyar told me that there was nothing else for me to do. I guess this is the reason he set me free and asked me to linger in public and watch all the fun. 

ANOTHER DEVOTEE'S JOURNEY

Another devotee wrote in about her journey. 

சிறு வயது முதலில் எனக்கு இறைவன் மீது அதிதி நாட்டம் இருந்தது. நானும் சாதாரண மனிதர்கள் போல் பூஜை இல்லத்தில் செய்வது, ஆலயங்களுக்குச் செல்வது, பஜன் தேவாரம் பாடல்கள் பாடுவது, ஆன்மீக நூல்கள் படிப்பது, இறப்பு பிறப்பை எப்படி என்று எண்ணிக் கொண்டிருந்தேன்.

எனது 16ஆம் வயதில் என் கனவில் பாபா, பாபாஜியை வணங்குவது போல் கனவு கண்டேன். ஒரு வாரத்தில் தாய் பாபாவின் புகைப்படம் தோழியின் மூலம் வாங்கி வந்தார். பிறகு பாபாஜியின் படத்தை நானே வாங்கி வந்தேன்.

எப்பொழுதும் வியாழன் தோறும் விருதம் எடுத்து வந்தேன். செவ்வாய் தோறும் துர்க்கை தேவிக்கு ராகு கால பூஜை செய்து கொண்டுவந்தேன். எப்பொழுதும் பூஜையின் பொழுது அடியேன் இறைவனிடம் யாசகம் கேட்பது எப்பொழுது எனக்கு முக்திக்கு வழி கிடைக்கும் என்று.

18ஆம் வயதில் பள்ளிப் படிப்பு முடிந்தவுடன் எனக்கு விடை கிடைத்தது.

அப்பொழுதுதான் எனக்கு ஓலைச்சுவடி பார்க்க வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்தது. அப்பொழுதுதான் எனக்குச் சித்தர்கள் பற்றி, முழுமையாக அறியவில்லை என்றாலும், சிறிதளவு தெரிந்து கொண்டேன். இதற்குமுன் புராணத்தில் அவர்களைப் பற்றி கேள்விபட்டுளேன். சுவடி வசிப்பின் பிறகு அவர் என்னைக் காந்தம் போல் ஈர்த்தார். அவரை பற்றி அறிந்து கொள்ள முயன்றேன். அவரைப்பற்றி நூல்கள் ஒரு சிலர் என்னிடம் கொடுத்தார்கள். அனைத்தையும் மறந்து தியானிக்க ஆரம்பித்தேன்.

எவ்வளவு லீலைகள் செய்துள்ளார். அவைபற்றி இங்கு என்னால் உரைக்க இயலாது. வார்த்தைகள் இல்லை. அவரை போல் சிறந்த தாய், தந்தை, நண்பன், குரு எவரும் இல்லை இவ்வுலகில்.

இன்னும் நம்முடன் வாழ்ந்து கொண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். நாம் நினைப்பு பேசுவதனைத்தையும் அறிவார்கள். இன்னும் நம்முடன் இவ்வுலகில் மறைந்து கொண்டு நமக்கு வழிகாட்டிக் கொண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். அதை நான் உணருகிறேன். அனுபவமும் கொண்டுள்ளேன்.

அடியேன் கும்பேஸ்வரன் ஆலயத்திற்குச் சென்ற பொழுது அந்த பண்டிதர் "இன்று கதவுகள் திறக்கப் படாது. வியாழன் மட்டும் தான் திறக்கப் படும்" என்றார். அப்பொழுது நானும் என் தாயாரும் மன வருத்தம் கொண்டு அகஸ்தியரிடம் பிரார்த்தனை செய்தோம். அந்த பண்டிதர் விறுவிறுவென வந்து கதவைத் திறந்து பூஜை செய்தார். நாங்கள் திகைத்துப் போனோம்.

அவர் பல நேரம் ஆறுதல், தைரியம், தன்னம்பிக்கை,  உற்சாகம் இது எல்லாம் அகஸ்தியரே கொடுத்தார். நான் இன்னும் துவன்றுபோகவில்லை. என் பயணம் சித்தர்களை நோக்கி இனி ஆழமாகப் போகும். அகஸ்தியரிடம் இருந்து என்னைப் பிரிக்க வேண்டும் என்றால் முதலில் என் உடலில் உள்ள பிராணம் போக வேண்டும்.

இனி எனக்கு எந்த ஒரு குருவும் தேவை இல்லை. அனைத்திலும் அகத்தியனைக் காண்கிறேன். உணருகிறேன். உதாரணம் ஒன்று கூறுகிறேன். சுவடி வாசிப்பின் பொழுது ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் அகஸ்தியர் ஷீர்டி சாய் பாபா, பாபாஜியும் என் குரு, மற்றும் அகஸ்தியரும் என் குரு என்பார். அவர் ஒரு பொழுது அவர்களை மறக்கவும், பூஜிக்க வேண்டாம் என்று கூறியதே இல்லை. அவர்களின் ஆசி எனக்கு எப்பொழுதும் உள்ளது என்பார். எந்த ஒரு குருவும் தான் சீடனிடம் மற்ற குருமார்கள் பற்றி பேச மாட்டார்கள். ஆனால் அவர்கள் அனைவருமே ஒரே ப்ரஹ்மம் என்று நமக்கு உணர்த்துகிறார்கள். அவர்களுள் பிரிவினை இல்லை. நாம் சித்தர்களை பின் பற்றினாள் அனைத்து மென்மையும் அறிந்து கொள்ளலாம். இது வெறும் கட்டுக்கதையில்லை. அடியேன் அவர்களிடம் இருந்து அறிந்தது. மெய்யை உணர்ந்தவனுக்கு அனைத்திலும் ப்ரஹ்மத்தை காணலாம். அடியேன் ப்ரஹ்மத்தை அகஸ்தியனிடம் காண்கிறேன்.

THE SOUL'S JOURNEY

For want of some action the one split into two and the two split further taking on various and numerous manifestations, denominations, forms, names, and tags. Maya came to be. But Maya is necessary to give souls the experiences that they desire to have. 

In "The Little Soul and the Sun" by Neale Donald Walsch, published by Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 1998, a Little Soul "Knowing who it was was not enough" for him. He wanted to be it. He told God, "I want to feel what it is like to be the Light." He asks God to experience what he already was, the Light.

God tells him, "There is no easy way for you to experience yourself as who you are since there is nothing that you are not. Got it?"

The Little Soul too went, "Huh?" He too was confused now.

Then God said, "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness." He continued, "In order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear" and he went on to explain the opposites of things. Giving him a list of ways he could be special and having the Little Soul add to it, the Little Soul chooses the part where he gets to forgive, saying it wants to experience it for itself. God grants the Little Soul's wish. A Friendly Soul then steps in to help the Little Soul realize the experience. When asked why it volunteered the Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul "Don't you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and me many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have danced. Across all the time and in many places have we played together. You just don't remember. We have both been through all of it. We have been the male and female, the good and the bad, we have both been the victim and the villain of it. Thus we have come together, you and me many times before, each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to express and to experience who we really are. I will come into your next lifetime and be the bad one this time. I will do something really terrible and then you can experience yourself as the one who forgives." But the Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul that in having to do that unkind thing it would have to slow down its vibration and become very heavy. 

And so it has to take or rather manufacture the ideal gross material physical body, the Asudha Degam, from the tatvas, to experience what it came for. At the end of the day, it leaves behind the shed that had served as a dwelling, to return to begin another journey full of other experiences. The cycle goes on and on till it has gone through all the experiences as God and the Little Soul together list out including being kind, gentle, creative, patient, helpful, sharing, friendly, considerate, and forgiving.