Every guru in present times has a flaw, a weakness, a sin, or a secret I suppose. But the divine for lack of vessels makes do with what he has. Every genuine saint has admitted to their shortfalls before the all-knowing almighty who sets aside these flaws and sees the bigger picture. In wanting to make me one too, one of their kind, the kind and compassionate Agathiyar was willing to forego all my faults in the stars and redeemed me to carry out his tasks. I know pretty well what I have done in all the years I walked this earth but yet he took on the blame telling me that it was his doing and that I needed the experiences from those distasteful episodes in my life. He was prepared to forgive me asking me to forgive myself first. That is the magnitude of love and compassion of the divine.
Even as he prepares me I tell him that I do not want it. Since day one I never lusted for the treasures that he wanted to bestow on me. I knew I was not worthy to receive them. I had flaws in me that shall one day take on a Viswarupam or emerge to destroy the very fortress that the Siddhas have helped shape. I had to be truly pure in all ways before receiving their gift of position and the authority that comes with it. I had to have divine wisdom and knowledge before I step into their shoes. I cannot possibly take on the role without enhancing my true nature. I need to know about the body, the breath, and the soul and all the tattwas associated with them.
At present, I fall out in many ways. I can never meditate to this day. I have never had out-of-this-world visits and visions as many have reportedly had in times of meditation. I have no experience of astral travel. I do not even know my own soul. I am still caught in the realm of tattwas. I have to free myself from the grips of the five tattwas earth, fire, water, air, and space. I have to have the divine knowledge of creation and my role and purpose in it.
Only after knowing all these and more can I possibly take on the role and responsibilities that come with it. Only when I am flawless can I not be felled for then I shall be a representative, apostle, messenger, and conduit of theirs.