Is god for real or a figment of our imagination? If someone were to ask me if I had seen Agathiyar what would I say?
Though he has shown an Australian of Chinese origin and Gnana Jothiamma of his presence as a vision either standing tall till the ceiling height of my prayer room to the former or coming out of the room and walking by in the dead of the night to the latter, neither me nor my family has seen these miracles. Neither has Agathiyar whom we know as depicted come in my dreams.
So how can I say for sure that he is there? Why I am holding on to something that I have not seen nor touched, holding on to someone who is not in flesh and blood? I have no answers. The truth is that though he has not appeared in such form that he has been depicted in paintings and statues, I have seen his presence either coming through his Nadi as words of revelations, as speech coming through other individuals, as an energy both in me and others, as the breath and as the vibration in us. Today true to his words he comes as the Prapanjam touching the very core of our beings. If during our family visit to Doddabetta in Ooty in 2013, we were chilled to the bone as the cold wind blew, these days his very presence does the same. The top of the head or crown to be precise is chilled and cold and swirls. The sensation of a rod being pushed in is pretty obvious at times. As I look for answers to this phenomenon taking place, http://www.ramalinga.com sort of gives a possible hint.
"These great saints saw a Column of Light rising above the Sahasrara up to the Divinity, ... one must make an effort to ascend to the Divinity, ...... on having been settled in the Column of Light one does not need to continue doing this effort, but from this time the Divinity descends on oneself. The one in whom the Column of Light is settled enjoys the continual experience of the Divinity, who, on having descended, resides in one's own Heart (as shining Sun) and fills with Himself the whole Being gradually, even the physical body (which, cell by cell, is completely transmuted up to becoming divine). At first, the above-mentioned experience has not the same intensity all the time. Moved by His great Compassion, God takes the maximum care of the possible aftereffect in the physical body and that's why He is alternating the intensity to manifest Himself as Divine Light. Sometimes His resplendence is very soft whereas on other occasions It becomes the most intense, seeming that one is going to be melted in It. This experience of God fills the Self with Divine Love and Compassion, which overflow from the Heart like a river flowing endlessly toward other beings. Little by little, God is increasing by degrees the intensity of Light and one is becoming accustomed to it until the time comes when God manifests Himself wholly. Then the Column of Light shines from beginning to end with Its entire splendor. It isn’t visible, except on very rare occasions."
If we took food to appease hunger in the past, this very food gives extreme joy when consumed now. It goes beyond the taste buds to the very core of the cells. If having the food placed before us itself was fulfilling in the past, these days the invitation to have lunch or dinner itself brings on vibes and energy. The essence of the food is imbibed instantaneously. I guess this answers both my two-year and six-year-old granddaughters' question if god ate the food, served when they prepared food with their mother to offer to the gods recently. Similarly, I ask myself when I bathe Agathiyar each evening with water that has been kept outdoors in the sun, why am I drenched in coldness too.
The hearing too has deepened. I have become sensitive to the slightest sound. Every sound is amplified. I have begun to hear beyond closed doors, windows and walls which is quite disturbing too.
There was a moment back in time when I used to have a sudden fear come over me in the middle of the night that woke me up from sleep. Nothing I do helps to avert the fear. Finally, I go looking for my wife. Only when she places her arms around me will the fear subside and I can go back to sleep.
Much of what took place earlier has been shared in detail in my earlier postings including at http://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2023/03/kundalini.html?m=1
Agathiyar told me that there was nothing to do henceforth when I asked him earlier if there were any further practices to be adopted when he spoke about the changes and the state I was in. He referred me to Tavayogi asking if he did anything. From actively searching for answers to life's mysteries he sent me into hibernation for some 14 years. Having shed all means to understand the unfathomable he filled me up with new-found activities and knowledge of his picking and choice after his calling through the Nadi in 2002. In 2019 he brought an end to all these activities and knowledge too and brought us to experience the results and reap the benefits of the years of patronage of him and his ways.
If in the past, as the Siddhas hid it as paripasai in their songs, life's mysteries were indeed a well-kept secret and heads of missions and gurus too kept it a closely guarded secret only shared to deserving students, after the coming of Ramalinga Adigal it all came out into the open. The saint tells us that even the commoner could achieve unknown and previously unreachable heights through devotion and compassion. Agathiyar too in asking me to write about the changes taking place in me, what I would consider as measly and minute, in comparison to the many stories I read and hear, wants me to share with readers of this blog the possibilities out there on this journey of homecoming.
Elsewhere stories are told of saints and their conversations with god, not in their dreams, but in real-time. For instance, we read about Abhiramipattar whose devotion moved and made the Goddess Goddess Sri Abhirami alter the course of the events in a mysterious manner. It was the Tamil month of Thai, an Ammavasai night, or the night when the moon is not visible when King Sarobhoji, ruler of the kingdom of Tanjai on returning from Kaveripumpattinam stopped over at Thirukadavur to have a darshan of Lord Sri Amudhakadaysar and Goddess Sri Abhirami. Abhiramipattar was lost in deep meditation at the temple then. The king who noticed the devotion of Abhiramipattar inquired about him from the locals. They briefed the king about Abhiramipattar. The king entered the inner sanctum to offer his prayers. But the king could not bring himself to focus on his prayers as the image of Abhiramipattar stood in front of him. The king came out to the temple grounds and stood before Abhiramipattar. Wanting to test him, the king asked what was the tithi that day, knowing pretty well that it was Ammavasai. Abhiramipattar who was engrossed in the beauty of the Goddess shared what he saw. "A full moon" he replied. The king believed that Abhiramipattar was a lunatic just as the villagers saw him. He left the premises. Upon coming out of his tapas Abhiramipattar was informed of what had transpired earlier. Abhiramipattar regretted having lied to the king while in deep meditation. He believed this incident proved that indeed he was a lunatic in the eyes of the king and his subjects. He dug up a large pit and set a fire going. He hung precariously over the fire on a platform held by ropes. He prayed that the goddess should clear his name or he shall die in the flames. Abhiramipattar began singing the first verse of what was to become the Abhirami Andhathi, "உதிக்கின்ற". As he completed each verse he cut into the ropes that held him afloat. When he sang the 79th verse, "விழிக்கே", the Goddess appeared before him. She let afloat her Tadangam or earring into the sky. To everyone's amazement, it took the shape of a full moon. She spoke, "What you unknowingly uttered I have made materialize. Complete the Andhathi." Thus continued Abhiramipattar with "கூட்டிய வா". Abhiramipattar sang another twenty verses to complete the Abhirami Andhathi. The king and the locals realized that they had misjudged Abhiramipattar and asked for forgiveness. This story is based on his life story as written in The Little Flower Company's publication of the Sri Abhirami Andhathi in Tamil.