Life is full of options. For instance there is two options in the face of receiving a directive. Either you follow or you do not. If you do not wish to follow it is settled then and there. But if you choose to follow you might want to know the reason to follow the directive, wait to be convinced before following it or dive your nose in without hesitation and without the need to be convinced.
I began conducting prayers in the early morning hours and at sundown each day of my bachelorhood, just to kill time and overcome boredom. I was in my twenties then. I frequented the neighborhood temples regularly too. I dived deep into reading about religion. But I realized there was conflict in the rational of things taking place around me and what was written in the books. Rather than understanding and becoming clearer in thought, I became more confused. I had so many questions. I became frustrated at not having answers to these queries. Then I had a dream. In the dream I saw a marble statue of Lord Shiva in full view sitting in Padmasana pose. I realized his chest heaved. He was breathing and alive! He began to smile and began to open his eyes. Almost immediately a bright light shone. I heard him speak without opening his mouth. He said, "Keep your questions to a later date", hence shutting me up. I dropped all form of worship and all query since that day or night, I should say.
Soon I was transferred from the small coastal town of Lumut to the bustling capital city of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. For the next 13 years I did not visit a single temple, nor read any religious or spiritual books. Nay I did not even light a lamp in my home!
Then one stormy day in 2001, my nephew hands me a mantra of Lord Vishnu, asking me not to question its source. He tells me that he was only directed to pass it to me. He asks that I start chanting it. Surprisingly I followed his dictate. Soon he furnished me with a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthy and several hymns of Goddess to recite for the ongoing Navarathri. I followed his dictates without question. The only hint he gave me was that all these was to prepare me to meet my guru.
True to his words, Agathiyar in my maiden Nadi reading the following year reveals that I would meet my guru. I meet Supramania Swami at the end of my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003, just hours before I boarded the plane back to Malaysia.
Just as I listened with awe and amazement as Agathiyar revealed my past, exposed my present and unfolded my future, I listened with awe and amazement as Supramania Swami revealed about me, my past, present and my future without any aid be it astrology, palmistry or any other science of prediction.
Agathiyar pulled aside the curtain of ignorance and showed me who I was. I followed his dictates in the Nadi without question. Supramania Swami lighted the spark of devotion in me. I followed his dictates without question too. Soon Agathiyar introduced me to my second guru, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. Tavayogi introduced me officially to Agathiyar and the Siddhas; introduced me to a life of an ashramite; took me to the abodes of the Siddhas; and nurtured me further in the path of devotion. I followed his dictates without question too.
Along this journey there were numerous questions that came to mind but I chose to refrain from wanting to know the reasons for doing a task first before embarking on it. I did not wait to be convinced first before starting my task.
Soon Agathiyar answered most of these questions sometimes after a couple of years, but he did come around to answer my queries. I am pretty sure he would answer the other remaining questions too.