I am beginning to understand why Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and had me pull the brakes on my home puja, temple visits, and all reading and discussion, and, most importantly, brought me instant relief from all the anguish and torment I was going through, seeing the sufferings of all those around me sometimes at the hands of the very deities that they worshipped. I had questioned if God was all kind and loving and compassionate; why do his devotees go through hell or have their lives taken abruptly? After 14 years of self-exile, he brought me to read the Nadi in which Agathiyar and the Siddhas spoke about Karma that was new to me. I understood the reason for their sufferings when he began to reveal my Karma.
Returning to Sariyai after those years of absence, a friend who left to become a monk at Paramahansa Yogananda's Ranchi Ashram in India in 1994 passed me his autobiography. I came to know about gurus and masters. Introduced to Dr. Krishnan in 1996, he spoke about the Siddhas for the very first time when I asked if it was possible that his predictions could not materialize. He accounted that possiblity to curses from past lives and revealed that these were only known to the Siddhas who have transcended time and space. In 2001, as Navarathri was around the corner, I received the Vasudeva Mantra that came by way of my nephew, who was asked to pass it to me by his Parama Guru Gopal Pillai from his samadhi. I soon came to know that it was Agathiyar's calling to read the Nadi the following year. Agathiyar then introduced me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in 2003 and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in 2005. Walking into Kriya that was shown to me by Tavayogi, he later officially initiated me into Yogam too. Agathiyar eventually released the waters and the energies that had pooled at Svadhisthana in 2022, after the Muladhara was opened and Kundalini awakened by those practices.
Then there came another phase of questions. Going by the Puranas, the Gods are known to have gone to war and wiped out the Asuras. By this very act, we are shown the good, bad, and ugly. But saints in later days tell us that all is well and that we are to just watch. So the Big question is whether to act to bring about change or remain passive and let things be. This question is apt, for this is the season we are celebrating the nine nights of Navarathri again for Goddess Shakti, where she does away with evil and darkness, bringing us Light.
Then, in a timely manner, a friend and reader messaged me yesterday.