I was never one who stepped out of my comfort zone and home to want to know what takes place around me. I shied away from the pomp and fair as a kid, teen, and later an adult. I guess it was in my nature to avoid publicity or take on public roles. Though deep down I would still prefer to stay away, time and space mapped out a different journey for me; events were lined up in such a manner that most of the time I was either pushed into a corner or coaxed into taking up roles by friendly souls.
For instance, I was picked to form and lead a society that catered for Indian arts in my school in the seventies. Many years later, I was picked to head the Parent-Teacher Association in my daughter's school. Then I guess Agathiyar's eyes fell on me. The calling came to read the Nadi and worship the Siddhas. When I took it up, Agathiyar sent me to a guru in physical form who ran an ashram in Kallar. Thereafter, if others desired and formed centers, societies, movements, organisations, and built temples, peedhams, and ashrams, my family home slowly but eventually became a tiny ashram and temple too, with Agathiyar sending youths over beginning in 2013. Imagine a land size of 992 sq feet or 92 sq meters could accommodate some sixty-plus devotees at the peak days of its days of worship. I cannot bring myself to believe this even now. How did the walls move to accommodate them? It sure seems so, for when we scouted around for a space to light some 108 oil lamps away from the wind in the Mayuranathar temple in Dengkil many years back, the only option was the Yaga Salai. It seemed too small to fit the already existing permanent fixture, the Homam pit, the bronze statues that we were to bring over, and the oil lamps that we were to place, and of course the devotees. But to our surprise, we were met with a large space the following morning that magically could fit it all.
Then Agathiyar reversed his offer to help me build a temple as requested by Lord Muruga, and instead, both claimed that my home was their temple. Agathiyar told me further that I was not meant for an Ashram life. Agathiyar reversed his offer to make me a guru too, and instead he saved me from the headache that comes with running a temple, ashram, and being a guru. I am at peace now except for the occasional visitors he has me see. But these visitors came with their share of troubles and shared them with my wife and me. For someone like me, my life changed after I began to be affected by seeing others suffer. In going beyond listening, when we began suggesting ways to minimize their pain, we landed in trouble. Asking that Agathiyar put a stop to sending strangers over, he listened and did just that. But one day, as I stood before his statue, I heard him ask me where I would go in my times of trouble if he were to shut his ears. I understood that he wanted me to listen and that he listens through me. Agathiyar once mentioned that Bhogar was asking to come within me to carry out treatment (for others) too.
It's only in these quiet moments that they speak, says Sophy Burnham in her book "The Art of Intuition - Cultivating Your Inner Wisdom, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2011. She quotes Jane Goodall, that goes,
"That still small voice that we speak of telling us what we ought to do. That I think is the voice of God. Of course, it is usually called the voice of conscience."
Sophy Burnham quotes C. G. Jung that although "the mystical encounter brings confusion, discomfort, and difficulty, but it also brings hope, forgiveness, limitless compassion, humility, gratitude, and a sense of oneness with everything around you. It brings an unselfish interest in others."
I understand now why he had us receive them and listen to them.
We have had Agathiyar guide us accordingly in all matters. He governs our lives. He is the governor of the state and governs our state of affairs. We are grateful to him. As we have come to realize, it is all his Lila, and he moves the chess pieces. Though we are just pawns in his hands, it brings great relief to let go and have him take care of it all. This reminds me of Tavayogi often telling us, "Leave everything to Agathiyar. He shall see to it."