The pain in the head over the past days has subsided on its own without the need for any attention, be it medical or otherwise, and left just as mysteriously as it came. I guess this is why Agathiyar told me there was nothing for me to do further and that it, the energy, shall do its work. I just have to bear witness to it and share it with my readers as was his wish, so that those who intend to travel towards light shall understand what was in store, he said.
Sexual thoughts and urges come on so intensely. I understand why holy men succumb to sexual desires and fall from grace at the height of their fame. It is good to have a wife around and vice versa to appease these desires. Hunger too sets in frequently. Sleep eludes us. One connects easily with others as there is no barrier concerning religion, faith, belief, social status, age, color, language, etc. Similarly, one begins to connect with nature and animals. Ultimately, we are all connected.
When I used to frequent Dr Krishnan, who charted my horoscope again and often predicted the events to come, in the nineties, none of his predictions came true. Asking him why, he asked me to check with the Siddhas and their Nadi if I was cursed in the past. I left it at that. In 2002, my colleague shared his Nadi reading with me, and it aroused my interest in seeing mine. Agathiyar told me that as a Nambudiri, "one of the dominant Brahman castes of the Indian state of Kerala" in a last birth, I had earned the wrath and curses of the priestly class for going against tradition and the Agamas, and also for the wrongdoing towards the common folks. Hence, this birth is to right the wrong. If I had to give an impression of my right thumb to locate my Nadi, Agathiyar, without going through the routine of giving a thumbprint to the Nadi reader to locate my wife's Nadi, and neither requiring her to be present for the reading, revealed to me a detailed account of her past, present, and future. She had called out to Agathiyar moments before she died, delivering a baby in another past birth, and hence this birth. When Agathiyar surprised me and my wife in my second daughter's reading saying that we were together in a past birth at Papanasam, where we were fruit peddlers, and had served the first fruit to Agathiyar at the temple before beginning our daily sales, I knew then that there was many more births that we took. He added that it was my daughter's wish for us to be her parents again in this birth, too. So it seems that there are various reasons for one to come back, taking another birth.
The possible reasons for a birth besides the past Karma that one did and had to settle were to see through his or her desires and wishes that were not fulfilled in a previous birth, coming for the sake of others, and finally, because of the divine's grace, wishes and his play. Even the basic core ingredients and components that come together, taking the shape of an embryo, are borrowed from each parent. We come here on borrowed time, too, with each given a certain number of breaths to use up before returning to the "breath bank". So what is entirely ours then to shout about if it is all his play? Most of the time, we think we are in charge and playing a role, having come with a purpose, feeling elated and joyful, often these work up our egos too, to the extent we forget ourselves, or rather forget the force and hand behind all these. The Cardiac Surgeon, too, comes to a point where he believes strongly someone else is tugging on the strings, and we are only dancing to the rhythm.