SESATRE BANSURI

The first time I met him, he came pulling and tugging a tall rolling luggage. He wore a striking turban. I was wondering why he was traveling with luggage and if he had just arrived from afar. Then he stopped right infront of Jey Raggaveindra's studio. Jey came out to greet him and we were introduced. Sesatre Bansuri was invited by Jey to beautify his music with some pieces of the flute and he did a good job of it. The moment he opened the bag there was a vast assortment of flutes of various sizes and length. 

Both the music director and the musician got to work immediately. If I only knew him as a musician then at the studio, later when Gowri Arumugam arranged for a photo shoot at her apartment only then did I realize that he was well versed with the Siddhas too. We quickly engaged in our favourite talk - that of the Siddhas and how the music album "Agathiyar Geetham" came to be produced.

SHOW ME THE WAY DEAR LORD

I envy our saints who could be indifferent yet compassionate living in society. While many take to the jungles, mountains, and interiors living away from society equally many choose to stay amongst us living a life of piety. We just can't seem to take a similar stand and show mercy, compassion, and love towards god's other creations when all we are confronted with is enmity, arrogance, stupidity, annoyance, etc. No wonder Jesus, Buddha, Ramalinga Adigal, and others who professed love are seen as divine and Godly. Can we reach their state? I wonder. I guess it needs thousands of births more for us to be polished and molded into their form and reach their state. 

It is truly difficult to live with principles in these trying times. How is it that the saints could do it I wonder? I ask the Lord to guide and show me how it is done. Telling him again last night that I had wasted some precious three years in not being able to sit in his company, contemplate and go within as he had very much wanted me, not that I did not attempt but he had chosen to place numerous obstacles that prevented me from doing so. The neighborhood has become a nightmare. The sight, smell, and noise were driving me crazy. As I became depressed figuring out a way out of the many obstacles laid in my path just when Agathiyar wants me to go within, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The following song highlights this beautifully.

ராம நாமமே பவதாரகமாய் அருளும் 

ராமதாசரை நம் யோகி அடைந்திடவே 

ப்ரேமையுடன் ராம நாமத்தையே குருவும் 

ஞான தீக்க்ஷையாய் அருளிடவே 

ஏக உணர்வாய் ராம தியானத்திலே ஆழ்ந்து 

மோனப்பொருள் தானென்றுணர்ந்திடவே ...

Its translation to my ability, 

'Finally, Yogi Ramsuratkumar sought Ramdas who extolled the greatness and sacredness of Rama Nama or Lord Rama's name. The guru gave the Lord's name as the Dheeksa mantra to Yogi, something that he too had held sacred. With a sole concentration on the Lord's name, the yogi went within. He realized he was himself the sound of silence.'

Lord Muruga recently told me through a devotee that silence was the ultimate state. 

Even after several earlier visits to Swami Ramdas, Ramdas did not inspire the Yogi. But when the Yogi was ready to receive Ramdas, the latter wasn't. The Yogi had to battle with Ramdas to gain a place in his heart and ashram. S. Parthasarathy writes on this in his book, BIOGRAPHY OF YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR - THE GODCHILD OF TIRUVANNAMALAI (AMARAKAVIYAM).

‘Systematically Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai made Ram Surat Kunwar (the Yogi’s original name) behave like a mad man and made the world believe that he had become mad. They drove him out of the ashram forcibly so that he would remember them constantly. They used harsh language whenever he was before them among the crowd of the devotees. By doing so Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai removed his ego totally. But it took a very long time. In the process, the pain, the sufferings he experienced were acute.’

‘Ram Surat Kunwar again asked Swami Ramdas to allow him and his family to live in the ashram. He said, “Papa, I have come here with the great faith that you would allow me with my family to live here. I am not able to work anywhere since the initiation. If you drive me away, where shall I go and how can I live?” Papa vehemently answered, “Go and beg. You cannot live in the ashram. There are enough people in the ashram to work. Remember, under a big tree, another big tree cannot grow. Only thorny bushes and grass alone will grow.” Ram Surat Kunwar shocked on listening to the words of his Master exclaimed, “Papa, should I beg for my food? Am I a beggar, Papa?” Papa, without answering, went inside. From that day Ram Surat Kunwar called himself a beggar. His Guru, His Master, His God asked him to beg and so he became a “beggar”.’

S. Parthasarathy quotes Yogi Ramsuratkumar in his book, 

‘In later years Yogi Ramsuratkumar said “Nobody can love this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas and nobody can torture this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas. My Father killed this beggar because He loved this beggar. This beggar died at the holy lotus feet of my father Swami Ramdas in the year 1952. After that my Father alone exists and not this beggar. This name Yogi Ramsuratkumar is not this beggar’s name; it is the name of my Father. Father would always shower his grace on the people who remember this name.’

"Papa (Ramdas) did not allow this beggar to understand Him. The time was not ripe. This beggar had to wait till Papa Himself revealed His Divinity to this beggar, to make this beggar understand that Papa was his Father." – Yogi

S. Parthasarathy writes further,

‘Without adopting any rituals and not leaning on any traditional conditioned customs of the religion, Ram Surat Kunwar braved his path with the pure faith upon his Guru and reached the other shore safely... Without preaching any conventional religious practices, Yogi asked the people to remember his own Name which would evolve them to the highest Spiritual State.’ 

Swami Muktananda mentions in his book SECRET OF THE SIDDHAS, Siddha Yoga Publication, 1980, that his master gave him one word that completely transformed him. And he also mentions he had to spend such a long time with Bhagawan Nithyananda to receive it.

Muktananda says, 

"That word (Guru Om), which I receive after so many years, spread through my body from head to toe like wildfire carried by the wind. It produced in me both inner heat and the coolness of joy. Before meeting my guru I had practiced many different kinds of yoga, but it was I who had practiced them. However, that word activated a spontaneous yoga within me. I was filled with amazement."

 Margaret Simpson writes,

'It was searing red hot and so bright that it dazzled his eyes. Every hair on Baba’s (Muktananda) body rose in awe. He kept repeating, “Guru Om, Guru Om, ” He lost all sense of himself. He only came out of it when Nithyananda made a sound. As he set off for home that day carrying Bhagawan’s sandals on his head Muktananda was filled with wonder and gratitude.'

Swami Muktananda says his joy arises from the one word - Guru Om; from the churning of the love between the guru and the disciple. He adds, "Only the guru can know that delight and taste the elixir that arises in every pore of the body." Ramalinga Adigal too sings of a similar experience and says that only the Lord knows.

As I sat with my wife yesterday to do homam and abhisegam, I read a song written by Bhogar on his guru Agathiyar from a book "Agastya Devamirtham" that was given to me by Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar during her recent visit to AVM. 

குறுமுனி துதிமாலை 

அளவிலா அருள்நிறை ஆனந்த வடிவே ஐயா 

அருள்வேண்டி தான் தொழுது உரைத்திடுவேன் போகன்யான் 

குறித்திடவே குருநாதன் குறுமுனிவன் நாமம்தன்னை 

தானதுவும் புவியினிலே நிகரில்லா வேதம் அப்பா 

Like Yogi Ramsuratkumar, in the very first stanza itself, Bhogar has established the name of his guru as the supreme Veda. 

In a Nadi revelation, we are told of Bhogar's faith, stand and hold on the name of his guru Agathiyar.  Agathiyar reveals the extent of humbleness in his student Bhogar. When once Agathiyar asked Bhogar if he knew Mother Goddess, Bhogar replied he did not know. When asked if he knew Lord Vishnu, he replied he did not know too. When Agathiyar asked if he knew Lord Muruga, again Bhogar to everyone's surprise answered "no". How could one who was behind the making and installation of Lord Muruga's statue at Palani not know him? When asked if he knew about the herbs, he replied in the negative, when he had sought, collected, and done extensive research on numerous herbs. Bhogar had replied that he did not know to all the questions put forward by Agathiyar. This surprised all those gathered. Finally, when asked what he knew, Bhogar answered that he only knew the Holy Feet of his Guru, Agathiyar.

I got the message. We are so used to techniques and methods, either receiving a mantra, a practice, or a ritual to do that we fail to realize it is all in the name of the guru. How foolish I was to await further guidance, technique, and method even after Agathiyar had brought it all to a halt. Yet we stand before him waiting for more. As Mahindran had made me realize Agathiyar's words in telling me that the past three years were not a waste of precious time as I had learned to let go, the group, the organization, the puja, the yoga practice, the Satsang, the charity etc, I am back in the original place chanting Agathiyar's name that was given to me during my initiation by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. The mountain is a mountain again. Chanting his name shall bring us within. 

REVISITING AGATHIYAR AT CAREY ISLAND

A friend sent me photos of his visit to Agathiyar's temple in Carey island moments ago. 

It brought back fond memories of our visit and puja we did at this temple in 2018.

View more at SIDDHA HEARTBEAT: AGATHIYAR IN CAREY ISLAND (agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com)

THANK YOU

Mataji taught me a pertinent lesson during her recent visit to Malaysia. She recalled Tavayogi telling her that we shall sow as we go along. Let it grow of its own will. This she said was what was adopted by her too. In sowing the seed those who take up the path shall come along while others leave. I was rather angry in the beginning years of my worship to the Siddhas that many came and left. Once I knew it to be a beautiful Margam or path, I wanted to share the bliss with others. Agathiyar too sent many over to my home beginning with a group of youngsters who stood by me as we ventured to expand our charitable deeds besides carrying out puja. Many stand by me to this day. Many left too I guess failing to see their desires fulfilled. I have come to realize that in coming together as an organized group we should set aside our individual desires and carry out the desires of the guru. Many leave because they want their ideas implemented. Seeing that they are given the cold shoulder they take leave. They then sell their wares elsewhere. The day we are put in charge and take on the role of a guru only then shall we set our own goals as that of the organization. Till then we have to toe the line. 

I too had many ideas that the establishments I visited were not keen to adopt. I decided to travel solo. But Agathiyar then sent his entourage of handpicked souls to come along my journey at least for a while and keep my company and assist with all our events that he had us carry out. I take this moment to thank all these wonderful souls. If I was to list them out it would be a very long list and I fear that I might miss a name or two. 

Looking back and the videos of the events we carried out over the years, I am amazed at the amount of puja and rituals we did. I am equally amazed at the number of charity events we organized. It would not be possible without a helping hand and most importantly attendance by these wonderful souls. They made my day or rather I should say they made Agathiyar's day. 

GRATITUDE

In my travels to India in 2003, I stopped over at Vadalur. Packed with excitement after reading about saint Ramalinga Adigal and his songs, I was deeply disappointed from the very moment I touched the grounds where Ramalinga Adigal had walked. Contrary to the many wonderful experiences I had during my travel, the experience I had there made me tell myself that the saint was not there anymore. I shared this to close ones upon my return. So was I turned off at Chidambaram went a young priest eyed my watch and asked to part with it. I told myself I wasn't coming back to the temple. Agathiyar in a Nadi reading later asked me to visit the place but I refused.

When I and my wife went over to a Siddha samadhi temple that was in the midst of a complete makeover, I told my wife that he was not there anymore. We both wept in the car and returned back without placing our feet there. I shared this experience with close ones later. I have had many beautiful moments with the Siddha when it was a humble dwelling back then. 

But to my surprise, recently Agathiyar asked a devotee to go to this Siddha samadhi temple. Why did he ask her to go when Agathiyar himself had confirmed my earlier observation. Had I erred in my observation? Had I said something contrary to the truth? Have I brought the wrath of the Gods, Siddhas, and gurus upon me?  Then I remembered that when there was some commotion in a temple between two committees claiming to be the rightful "owner" of the deity and temple (and its assets), the presiding deity came through a devotee and told someone close that she was not there anymore. But she turns up when a true seeker or devotee comes. I guess the Siddhas like the deities come to usher their true devotees upon their arrival too. I remember Tavayogi in bringing me to the abodes of the Siddhas in the jungles would turn around and tell me that the Siddhas were ushering us. Agathiyar in the Nadi has told us to go on pilgrimages telling us that he would be there to usher us. True to his words he has appeared in many forms to greet us at these places.

Man needs to transform both physically and subtly, both in body and mind and in the habits that become his character later. We are here for this purpose. This transformation can only take place here, hence the reason the saints have reiterated over and over again about the priceless commodity that we have brought with us - our body and mind. It is rare to have a human birth they say. Only a human can transform into the nature of God. Many saints and Siddhas have done it and have shown us the way to it. 

But before we venture to become godly we need to first step into sainthood. This does not mean discarding our clothing and draping on a kaavi or loincloth. We have to inculcate the noble values, that goodness that overrides its opposite. Become a good man first. This man then will be seen as a divine person in the eyes of others. This man shall then be elevated to the status of the divine as Ramalinga Adigal sings of his rise to the statue of the divine with gratitude. 

We have failed to show our gratitude to the divine many a times. When the rules were slackened as we began to come out of the recent pandemic, as I was having my lunch in a Chinese restaurant a Chinese man came up to me and asked if I could share the table with him as the others were taken. Even before taking his first mouthful he immediately began to speak about the health and economic crisis as a result of the numerous lockdowns and shutdowns. I wondered what was the reason he came to the restaurant? Was it to appease his hunger or start a conversation? His business, like many others, had been hit hard he said and went on to rattle about it. I stopped him midway and asked him if he would have shown me his bank statements and

spoken to me about the profits he made,  in good times? Now, why was he sharing his losses when things are bad? I told him to be grateful for all the good years prior to the pandemic. He zipped up.

Whenever someone begins to talk about their illnesses, sufferings, misery, etc, I tell them that they should be grateful that it had only reared its ugly head now and not sooner. I ask them to be grateful for the good years they had prior to falling ill or meeting with the tragedy. I shut them up forcefully.

Many are visibly shaken when those close and dearest to them suddenly fall ill. They ask me to pray for their recovery. I used to do so back then. These days I only pray for the kids who have a future ahead of them. I stand for them before the deities telling the gods that it was not fair to penalize them at such a young age. As for the elderly, I tell their family to send them off happily as they have lived life to the fullest. We need to learn to let go. Many saints have taught us to let go. The Buddhist monks in creating the mandala, taking the pain to produce such masterpieces eventually after a simple ritual, destroy their very creation. They teach themselves not to be tied down or shackled to the merits of their work or its results. They teach the world that nothing is permanent. When a mother lost her child she came to the Buddha hoping that he could revive the child. The Buddha told her that she had to ask for alms from the village folks first. He laid a condition too. She was only to receive the alms from those homes that had not seen death occur. She left on this venture, knocking from door to door but returned empty-handed as she came to realize that there was a death in every family. The bereaved mother became composed and collected and accepted the truth. 

When a mantra initiation is given or we are told to chant a particular mantra do not take up the mouse and search the internet for the rewards of chanting it. Neither verify the mantra if it was spelled or pronounced right. Instead, take up the practice of chanting it immediately. The results will be seen in good time with our concerted effort put in. The results written about or spoken about by others might not necessarily apply to us.

When I received the Moola Mantra that Agathiyar gave me in my Nadi reading in the past, I began to recite it. Soon l wanted to share the goodness of this mantra with others and posted it on YouTube. My friend's brother dropped by and questioned why he was given a slight variation of the mantra also through the Nadi?

When someone was given a mantra recently by Agathiyar in the Nadi, he started comparing the transcript of the reading and the audio recording and noticed a difference. He pointed it out to me. I had to tell him that the mantra does not matter. It is just a tool to get us to sit in the first place. I narrated the story of the over-zealous young monk who left his monastery to preach to others on the orders of his master. I had carried this story numerous times in this blog. But it looks like no one is reading. Upon arriving at the river that cut off the village from the monastery atop the hill, he waited for the boatman to cross the river. He then happened to notice an old man mumbling to himself. Going over to him he realized that the old man was chanting the mantra given to him at the monastery. But he realized that the old man was saying it wrong. The young lad enthusiastic to teach the old man the right way to recite the matra told him that he was saying it wrongly and went ahead to correct him. The old man listened and followed him. The young monk who was pretty pleased with his achievement stepped into the next boat that came by to cross the river. In the middle of the river, the young monk noticed the boatman's jaw drop. What was it that made the boatman who was facing the river bank from where he had alighted the boat, go pale? The kid turned around to see the old man stand behind them, his legs standing on water! The old man bent toward the kid and asked him to repeat the mantra as he had forgotten it in that short time. The kid knowing his foolishness begged for forgiveness and followed him back to the river bank.

When we sit before a Nadi reading take the message and leave. Do not investigate the instrument, either the reader or the Nadi leaves for its authenticity. 

Man wants to be rewarded without putting in the effort. Agathiyar tells me Gnana too is not gifted by him but comes with our effort. At the end of the journey, traveling the spiral path, traversing the chakras we shall arrive at it he says, not any sooner nor does it come as a gift.

At Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) we broke a few rules. We brought many changes to our worship of the Siddhas. The dynamic and youthful group we had then took to these changes easily. It was easy to work on them. I dread to think how I would have managed the older ones. They can never be molded or chiseled. They find it so difficult to move away from their hold on tradition. 

Speaking to two heads of missions under Agathiyar's name, I put forth the idea of reducing their current rituals and shortening the festivity by dropping some events. But they explained that those were time-held traditions that they fear disrupting less they are scorned that they broke tradition.

I guess that is the reason Lord Muruga in wanting me to build a temple for him told me that I shall do it differently when I questioned the need for yet another temple for him. I guess this is what I did in a past birth and earned the wrath of fellow Namboothiri priests in Kerala too. They and others had cursed me for going against tradition and changing it. 

செல்வனுக்கு ஷண்முகமே பெருமாகும் 

சாதகனும் முன் உருவில் கேரளத்தில் 

தேசத்தில் முதல்வர்க தனவான் செய்யாக 

தான் இவனும் ஆலய சேவை செய்ய 

கான இவன் வேதம் அதை முறையும் மாற்றி 

சாதகனோ உரைத்திடவே சாபம் பெற்றான் 

தான் இவனோ இது பிறவி அதனால் தோற்றம் 

சாற்றும் நாள் வாழ்ந்து வர சாபம் தொடர ..

I seem to have carried this vasana or urge to change things in this birth too for when I stepped into the Siddha path I was not easily satisfied with whatever little that was available then. I had to know the truth rather than follow like the sheep. After receiving the calling to see the Nadi and after Agathiyar made a calling to me to join his path, I went knocking on many doors but was not satisfied. Agathiyar then sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to Malaysia where I am nudged to go over and see him. He takes me and my wife into the path officially giving us an initiation. My children followed us. 

I guess the reason I came to the Siddha path is that here is where we can venture to experiment with the means and the tools and gain the experiences in attaining the goals. We are given the freedom to explore and satisfy the Soul. This is not made available in traditional and religious centers of worship and learning. I guess the reason both Ramalinga Adigal and Mahakavi Bharathi are considered Siddhas too is that they broke the rules. Tavayogi once told me that the Siddha cannot be caged up or shackled. The Atma too needs to be free to experiment and realize. When I told him my sadness in not being able to bring next of kin and close ones into the fold of the Siddhas, Tavayogi who came through a devotee asked that I let it be. They have come to live life and its pleasures. Let then exhaust these desires he added. 

Sailing the river for some 20 years on these calm waters I guess Agathiyar is pleased with all the puja and rituals that we did all these years. He has asked us to know the Atma and gain release or Atma Viduthalai. We look towards him to show us the way.

AGATHIYAR KUZHAMBU

I took Agathiyar Kuzhambu this morning. I felt nauseous and had stomach cramps almost immediately began to expel wind and gas and started burping. Dizziness came on as I lay in bed. I began to have bowel movements too immediately too. An hour later I vomited bile and phlegm. Mucus was discharged too when I blew my nose. Two hours later the effects seem to wear off. 

This time around it was very mild compared to the earlier round I took this concoction that made me writhe in pain throw up and purge. I truly made a mess then. Thanks to my wife she was on hand to clean me and the mess I made. I guess my body internals was cleaner n more purified this time. During the third hour as the solids were expelled the remaining fluids in the bowels were drained off too.

I am sorry if I am giving a detailed account of the matter. Siddha physicians and medical doctors of the past are known to ask about our stools in detail before administering treatment. Our stools show the condition of our internals.

Agathiyar while recommending a herbal concoction to a couple, made it available to me too. He directed us to Siddha physician Thiru Arivan Aiya of the Arulguru Agathiyar Arulsidhar Peedam, also known as Agathiyar Yoga Herbs Centre and officially registered as the Agathiyar Arul Shakti Peedham. Agathiyar told me later that his Agathiyar Kuzhambu besides being a purgative strengthens the body too. Elsewhere we are delighted to know that this "classical sastric herbo - mineral Siddha medicine Agathiyar Kuzhambu can be used for all 4448 diseases." 

Blockages that are a result of our previous lifestyles result in imbalances and disorders in the body and the imbalance in the 3 dosas or bodily humor namely Vatam or wind, Pittam or bile, and Kapam or phlegm. This necessitates the need for Deha Suddhi. Agathiyar gave us his Agathiyar Kuzhambu to consume for the purpose of Deha Suddhi. Agathiyar Kuzhambu is said to be one of the 32 Siddha medicines taken internally listed in the "Gunapadam Siddha" text literature, which covers a vast area of indications. "It contains 11 ingredients which are mentioned in the Siddha formulary of India - part -1, that when combined act as a purgative. Besides being a purgative it is said to cure many diseases too." (Source: Muralidass SD and Shree-Devi MS: “Agathiyar Kuzhambu”- not only a purgative- an overview. Int J Pharm Sci & Res 2019; 10(5): 2156-63. doi: 10.13040/IJPSR.0975-8232.10(5).2156-63.). 

And it did an excellent job of cleansing the house.

THE NEED TO TURN TO YOGA

A friend who was in pain on Wednesday due to kidney stones was given outpatient treatment and sent home for the private medical center had no beds for him to recuperate if an operation was done immediately. He returned again the following day and was operated on as his pain increased. He was temporarily bedded in the physiotherapy clinic before a bed was vacant in the wards. A pharmacist at another private hospital too noticed that the hospital had a sudden increase of patients and was taking on patients beyond their capacity. I asked her if it was Covid patients but she replied "No" and that people came in for numerous other illnesses. This scenario previously was seen in government hospitals has those who could not afford the high charges at these private hospitals turned to the general hospitals for the fees are minimal as they are heavily subsidized by the government. Why is this sudden surge in people not well and seeking medical aid?

My brother who wrote a piece for an online news portal quotes The National Health and Morbidity Survey 2019 that "showed that 22% of the Malaysian population aged 13 and older rated their health as “not good”...." and that the "Government spending on healthcare has been on the rise over the years." Many are looking towards Yoga as a solution according to his report. Read on at https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/opinion/2022/06/24/bringing-down-healthcare-costs-one-yoga-asana-at-a-time/

He suggests that "It’s time to vigorously promote yoga to enhance health and reduce medical costs." Let us beef up our practice of Yoga too to stay healthy. But before everyone rushes en masse to take up Yoga, the Siddhas caution us to learn under the watchful eyes of a competent master. They ask that we worship the Siddhas too so that they can come to our aid in the event we "hurt" ourselves while practicing it without a tutor. My brother knows too for he picked up Yoga from the books in the beginning and had severe bodily pains due to blockages. I too picked up from books and many years later learned from watching Tavayogi perform the asanas and pranayama before us during one of his visits. I too had severe back pain as a result of the three dosas going haywire in me for some 2 1/2 years. Agathiyar and Lord Murugan came to my aid, the former giving prescriptions in his Nadi and the latter coming through another and healing my back. Acharya Gurudasan who taught us later takes us carefully on a journey in Yoga through the following videos.

THE TRUTH IN WORSHIP

Many truths have begun to dawn on our worship and the means and its tools. I shall list them as it comes to my mind. After observing how gravity makes our skin, muscles, and tissues sag with age, I began to figure out that the reason that Lord Muruga and the Siddhas could retain their youth was that they learned the art of defeating gravity. When a transformation takes place within us resulting from our practices in Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, we reverse the said natural process by bringing in energy and prana through these practices and energizing the very cells, extending their life span that is said to vary according to their location and tasks. Soon man traverses time and space as did the Siddhas.

The difference between Vedanthins and Sidhanthins, what I came to realize, is in the approach to their body. When the former drops the body disregarding and giving it little attention, considering it as a bag of filth, the Siddhas walked the extra mile to take care of this body for they knew the way to bring the Gods whom many see as only residing in the temples, into this very body, transforming the very body into a temple and have God reside in it. From duality, we move into singularity or Yegan. From Dwaita we move to Advaita. 

Closer to home we realize the significance of our practices handed down through tradition and time. Although many practices have evolved in a positive way we have equally created many monsters too having deviated from the truth and the path.

The architecture of the temple of days gone by itself aided us to achieve what we came for. For instance, as we arrive at the doorway of the temple and walls of the compound we leave the noise and the din that we traveled in and live with. As we pass through the numerous prakaram or walls we lose contact with the outside world slowly with only the sky and the earth that is in contact with us then. We leave all the small talk and thoughts behind as we cross the pedestal and go within the roofed temple structure where we touch only the earth as we have a roof over us now. We stand before our favorite deity who is not visible until a flame is lighted before them. Temples of days past were dimly lit for a reason. The devotee is not easily distracted by things and people around us, contrary to what we observe in bright light. The only moment he or she sees the image of that deity is when the flame is raised to show us the deity and never a moment sooner. Hence we would all be attentive and watchful waiting eagerly to see His or Her face.

Similarly, when Agathiyar comes he asks us to off the lights that run on electricity or battery leaving only the flame at the altar to shine. In this dim light, Agathiyar sees our Atma or soul. Author Betty J.Eadie in her books, "The Awakening Heart" and "Embraced by the Light", asks Lord Jesus what were the lights that she sees from heaven, flickering on the face of the earth. Thinking that it was the street lights and lights from housing estates, towns, and industries, the Lord replies that it was the light emitting from the souls. Recently I was surprised to see the whole sky filled with stars which are never visible these days. I remember laying on my mother's lap and gazing at the skies from our family home as a kid then. The reason I saw that number of stars that day and for several days that followed was that the majority of city dwellers had left for their hometowns and villages leaving the city empty during a recent festive season. Electricity consumption and usage were minimal during these days offering those who chose to stay back an opportunity to gaze at the night sky and its brilliance. Agathiyar had asked me to switch from metal to a clay lamp and light it many years ago. The lamp he said was akin to the gross body while the flame was to the soul. He would ask us to kindle the wick so that the flame burns brightly. Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai once told me that he shall come through this flame and watch me at my home in Malaysia. 

What is the significance of offering prasad or food to deities? Many ask if God eats the food we give. Agathiyar had mentioned to the late Nadi Guru Hanumathdasan to visit a temple in north India where he shows proof of Lord Rama having eaten a portion of the offering. Agathiyar at AVM has asked that my wife serves him food daily too. What is food to him is medicine to us he says.

Why do we need to praise the Siddhas? This question was put to me once. The Siddhas of course do not need nor depend on us to worship and praise them. They are already fortified and bursting with energy. Agathiyar once in educating us on observing the ethics upon arrival at a Siddha samadhi, asked us rather bluntly who are we to energize them thinking that the rituals performed will make them a powerhouse. He says as it is they are already powerhouses having done years of tapas covering many births. We are not to carry out any rituals but rather sit in silence and tap the vibes and energy that prevails in these Siddha samadhis. So the Siddhas too do not need us to praise them. But in singing their songs of praise, something subtle takes place within us that paves the way for these divine energies to come within and transform our body, soul, and mind. It also brings down their grace that stands by us at every moment of our lives. For those who take up Yoga, it is of importance that they complete the two earlier initial stages of Sariyai and Kriya before venturing into Yoga. The grace of the Siddhas will see us through the successful completion of our Yoga practices without any hiccups or danger. 

The benefit in singing their praises is definitely for us though Supramania Swami once told me to take up tavam so that his state shall be elevated with the prayers of the student. The ritual can also help save another's life or save them from a situation, as we came to realize. The Siddhas took to sit and light a Yagam to save Tavayogi when he was ill having heard our prayers. Performing a Yagam too has removed obstacles and brought couples into matrimony and saved another from the gallows.

Agathiyar in a Nadi reading listed the benefits of puja to me as I took on the journey as a freshie back in those days. He talks about the prayers conducted and their benefits. He reveals an extensive list of benefits attained from performing and conducting prayers. He reveals the reason he asks that I carry them out. Below are listed the benefits as Agathiyar revealed in the Nadi: 

There are many in this world who utters my name (Agathiyar), 

Prayers done truthfully (to Sidhas) shall gain many benefits, 

Prayers shall bring much joy, 

Prayers done moderately but splendidly and honestly, shall help protect the world, 

Prayers done with fellow devotees will bring many benefits, 

Many shall rise in stature and power, 

Prayers will lead to a state of bliss, 

Prayers done on full moon days shall strengthen the Jothi within, 

Prayers will help remove doubts, 

Through prayers, one shall attain godhead, 

Strength, grace, and wealth shall be gained, 

Stay on this path of devotion and family bond shall be strengthened, 

All that is asked for shall be gained, 

Prayers shall lead to meditation and charitable thoughts, 

All ills shall be removed, 

God shall listen to prayers, 

Idiots shall become geniuses, 

The benefits attained from prayers are indescribable for many changes shall take place. 

When Tavayogi started me off with carrying out the fire ritual or homam in my home, I was not too keen but did carry it out as the guru ordained. Later Agathiyar comes to strengthen my hold on the need to do it. He says that I was not doing it for personal gains but for the good of the world around us. Only then could I put my heart and soul into the act as I was blessed to do my part for the larger world now. Only then did I realize the intent or purpose in living not for us but for others too. I remembered Tavayogi's reason to carry out the very first Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam that substituted the earlier annual fire ceremony in place during Agathiyar's Jayanthi celebrations. After the 2004 Tzunami took its toll on lives and properties, Tavayogi began to carry out the intense Yagam to please Mother Earth.  

When Agathiyar asks that I spread his teachings through all available means and mediums, I continued writing the blog and uploading videos of events we carried out on YouTube. Though I had thought of pulling the shutters down on these many a times, readers would write to me in a timely manner telling me that they had benefited from reading the many posts. Agathiyar too would come in the Nadi asking me to continue adding that he would chip in on the contents. Now when I feel lost that Tavayogi is not here in person for me to share my experiences ad exchange notes with him, Agathiyar tells me over the weekend in the Jeeva Nadi reading read by visiting Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar from Kallar ashram, that he shall fill the gap and void. What else could one ask for?

MATAJI IN MALAYSIA

Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar of Kallar Ashram will end her brief visit to Malaysia and return to India on 27 June. We had her come over to AVM and spend some quality time with us on Sunday, 19 June. She shared some bits from her life with Tavayogi as a student and disciple of his with us.

Just as Agathiyar had graced and blessed us with his Jeeva Nadi reading for those gathered at AVM during her last visit in 2016 with Tavayogi and again when she traveled alone in 2019 after the demise of Tavayogi, Agathiyar in this reading cleared the doubts and questions raised by devotees during the Sunday morning meet. One pertinent point he made was that henceforth his Jeeva Nadi at Kallar was to be referred to only for those who sought Gnanam. Those seeking solutions to their daily problems and sufferings and advice on career decisions etc should seek elsewhere for a reading or perform Sariyai and Kriyai that he said shall relieve them of their misery or help them make wise decisions respectively. I personally think that is a very wise move. After Tavayogi's demise, I too was lost just as Mataji was for we both were his students. I needed him now more than ever for now I was going through many experiences that I could not validate nor have someone explain them. If back in those days Tavayogi always asked us to ask him questions, we were lost as to what to ask him then for we were new to the path or Marga. Many turned up with questions based on what they had read or listened to at other talks and placed those questions related to what they had consumed elsewhere, now vomiting them before Tavayogi and waiting for his reaction or opinion on what was read or what others had said. These question-answer sessions would stretch on for hours often ending in debates. I would sit silently and watch the show in disgust. I had nothing to ask him though I had heard and read many a thing. As I had no personal experience in this subject and in the field I zipped up. Today having seen and experienced the things that Tavayogi had randomly mentioned as he walked by us, or on our long walks and visits, I truly yearned for him to be with me physically so that I could verify these experiences with him. But Agathiyar had relieved him of his duties on this earth and had him perform other duties in his world. Nevertheless, Agathiyar in the Nadi reading addressed my yearning and told me that he would come to my aid. This has given me hope and a new direction. Earlier when he came through another devotee some days back he had asked me not to be sidetracked by things and responsibilities that will be added on. Instead, he asked that I be focused on knowing the Atma. In the Nadi reading too, he mentioned the same. He did the same for others gathered around that Sunday morning, asking them to take time from their daily routine and focus on going within.

அறிவிப்பேன் என் தலைவன் ஆசியோடு என் வன மக்களுக்கு. ஆதி நாளில் கூடி இருக்கின்ற மக்களே எங்களை வழி கேட்டு நிற்கிறீர்கள். என் மக்களே நீங்கள் செய்கிற தர்மவழி நாட்டங்கள், சேவைவழி தொண்டுகள் நானறிவேன். என் மழலைகள் நீங்கள். பல நேரங்களில் பல இடங்களிலே சூட்சுமமாய், அருவமாய் ஆசிதனை வழங்கியும் உடனிருந்து கொண்டும் வந்தெனப்பா. பேரிடர் வாராது நான் தானே காத்து உங்களோடு இருக்கின்றேன். இது காலம் தொட்டு இக வாழ்கை, போருட் தேடல், வாழ்வியல் பந்த பாசம், இவற்றுக்குள்ளே சுழன்று சுழன்று வந்தீர்கள். புற வழிபாடு, அக வழிபாடு இரண்டிற்குள் இருந்தபோதும் ஆனாலும் அகத்திற்குள்ளே முழுதும் செல்லா நீர்கிறீர்கள்.

He gave a practice to those gathered and to those who were adhering to it to continue it. He added that Tavayogi shall guide us in the subtle form.

நாளும் தியானவழி பயிற்சிகள், பூர்வ மத்தி நாட்டம், அகத்திலே என்னைக் காணுங்கள். ஞானவழி மார்க்கம் அது பிறகும் அப்பா. அதற்கான வழியும் உண்டு தானே. இன்றுமுதல் தியானத்தில் கவனம் அதைச் செலுத்தி, ஆன்ம விடுதலைக்கு வழி தேடுங்கள். உங்களோடு லோகராசன் அவ்வப்போது அருள் உரைப்பான் பாரு.

He touches on the recent pandemic and says that the world is safe now. 

கிருமிவழி பீடை கண்டு லோகமே தப்பித்து நிற்குதப்பா.

Turning towards me he addressed my yearning,

இவ்வன ஆசானுக்கு மெத்த ஏக்கம் உண்டு. மகனே கேள் அது அது காலத்தில் உந்தனுக்குள் இருந்து உந்தனை யானே வழி நடுத்துவேன்.

Replying to a youngster's quest to see the Siddhars, Agathiyar gave him a mantra that brings forth the Siddhas.

செந்தமிழ் தமிழ் அறிந்த பதினேன் பேரைச் செம்மையுடன் காண்பதற்கு மூலம் கேளு.

I had always questioned the significance of the number 18 and why the Siddhas were often regarded to be only 18, when we come across a long list of names in numerous books and editions. I believe only these 18 are Tamil-speaking Siddhas. 

Agathiyar went on to reveal the mantra to him.

Addressing all gathered he asked us to stay and remain strong in the face of adversities. He is with us he assured.

குழுமிய என் மக்களே, மனதிலே கடும் திடம் கொண்டு, சஞ்சலமின்றி போற்றுங்கள் யானிருக்கேன். ஆசிகள். முற்று.

If Agathiyar has brought us, the adults, out of Sariyai and Kriyai and has us engage in Yogam that would eventually lead to the dawn of Gnanam, the former two initial stages need to be done for the sake of the children growing up around us so that they too can travel the two initial stages and leave them behind when they are ready to take a further step into Yogam. I have begun to initiate my grandchildren to drop their fear of God and address him as a buddy. 

THANK YOU

Coming out of the pandemic unscathed, I thought that I had wasted the past 2 1/2 years doing nothing. Not that I was a person who patronized smalltalk at teashops, or loved window shopping at the malls, but I had to tell others not to come over as numerous restrictions were in place then. 

Malaysia first went into a partial lockdown after the Covid-19 pandemic hit. This saw the public forced into complying with numerous unprecedented measures introduced by the government to contain the virus’ spread. - www.malaymail.com

I got to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren and learned many things from them during this time. 

When Agathiyar came, I told him the same too. He replied that it had not gone to waste and stopped at that. Speaking to Mahindren later about having wasted precious time, he replied, "Why do you see it as such Anna. You have learned to drop many things during this time." Now that was an eye-opener for me. I guess I like many others believed that spiritual advancement was akin to material advancement where we keep chasing after things or grabbing on to things that come by, be it posts, wealth, property, etc. He made me realize that the opposite is true. To be spiritual is to drop everything. And Agathiyar made me do it late September  of 2019. Now I understand what Tavayogi meant in his collection of gems carried in his book "Andamum Pindamum".

இனித் துறப்பதற்கு தன்னிடம் என்ன பாக்கி இருக்கிறது என்று சிந்திப்பவனே சிந்தித்து துறப்பவனே உண்மைத் துறவி. உள்ளத்துறவு வேண்டும் இல்லையேல் கள்ளத்துறவு ஆகும். 

A true monk, ascetic, hermit, recluse, or anchorite is one who sheds everything and thinks about what more can he give. 

Months before the advent of the Covid virus, Agathiyar had asked us to close shop in September 2019. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) closed the shutters and dissolved the WhatsApp group. Soon the lockdown came on 18 March 2020. Prior to this Agathiyar had given us certain practices and asked us to go within. He asked us to stop both puja and charity. It was enough he said. Others would continue our work, he added. And true enough others came along to continue and service the poor who we thought we had let down and deserted by our withdrawal. Puja too was done in their own homes by those who came by earlier and picked up the procedure as even the temples were closed to the public. I took to trying to sit and observe my breath as Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal taught us. It was as if Agathiyar had given us some indoor games to play on a rainy day. It was beautiful. I soon became more aware of my breath. I guess I could go beyond taking in the air and reaching out to the prana that rode on the air and oxygen. Soon I did not need to exercise what was taught as I could tap into the prana in the air. Standing before an open window and inhaling the gust of wind made my body shiver in this energy and brought immense joy and bliss. 

In the earlier days of doing puja, I would come out of my prayer room drenched in a bliss that I regretted I could not share. I would tell my wife if only I could pass it to her simply with a touch. Many years later each time Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the deities came as energy within others they began to transmit it to all present. When they come we are asked to gather around and hold our hands together. They would pass on the bliss to those who are able to connect. For that purpose, they continued to give us many tips to transform the body and make it a vehicle for the transmission of this energy. All our senses became enhanced. Sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. We began to experience anew the ordinary things anew, though they might be the same old things. Everything was heightened. Just as the mountain though appears a mountain again but we begin to relish the experience and respect it after returning from a hike up, now we began to see things anew and with respect, gratitude and thanks. So all was well indeed in the end.

Agathiyar literally did some deep cleansing in me too. I was purging and vomiting and coughing out phlegm or kapham. My body expelled gas or vatam. I had body pains for no reason. And I threw out bile or pittam. As www.banyanbotanicals.com mentions, "In fact, the particular ratio of vata, pitta, and kapha within each of us provides us with a blueprint for optimal health (otherwise known as our constitution)", Agathiyar set my house right. 

Many feel that the pandemic was a reset for the world at large and the individual too provided he took heed of the signs. Shutting ourselves indoors we had more time to ourselves to contemplate and think. A friend took to sit alone in his prayer room and was transported to another world. I had carried his story in an earlier post. If I took the lockdown brought on us by Agathiyar as a blessing, my wife felt that the pandemic was a blessing in part too. She told me that we were getting addicted to our tasks of puja and charity. We began to get a "high" from these activities. Many converged again and again at AVM to carry out both. 

Agathiyar came at the right moment and squashed it. We learned to let go which many cannot seem to. We gave way for others to take up puja and charity though we carried on the Homam as requested by Lord Shiva to cleanse and purify the air around us. The Homam done was not to fulfill any individual's request or wishes but for the well-being of all. I recall the reason Tavayogi began performing the Maha Yagam on his ashram grounds. The Tzunami had taken its toll on lives and properties back then in 2004. He wanted to appease Mother Nature and cool her down. Soon the Yagam became an annual affair. He asked me to do it too concurrently. I did as told.

Many asked me how I am keeping these days as the hype of activities surrounding Agathiyar at AVM had subsided. I reply that I entertain my grandchildren as they entertain me too. I watched lots of good movies that made me sit up and think. I have mentioned them in this blog too. I listen to good music that besides being melodious was uplifting and soul-stirring. I am well-fed thanks to my wife who keeps me company in bed too. What else does a man need? I can only thank Agathiyar for all the blessings that have come my way from the elders, gurus and upagurus, parents, family, and friends. If I were to leave this world I shall leave happily. And to those who come by to send me off, I would request that they do not shed a single tear for I have lived well. Grief only for a child for the Lord has chosen to take him young, but there is no necessity to grieve for the old for they have lived life to the fullest. I tell those who complain about their illness to be thankful that it had come only now and not sooner in their prime or youth that would then have crippled them for life. I tell them to thank them for those years that they were well. Isaikavi Ramanan often mentions his father in all his talks and interviews. He says of his father that he was composed in all situations, always having a "cheerful disposition". I wish I could be like him too. When he asked him how he was able to be like that, his father would reply, "Life is not as bad as you envision. It is only the first 75 years that it is tough on you." (டாய், நீ நினைக்கிற மாதிரி வழக்கை அவ்வளவு மோசம் இல்லேட. என்ன முதல் 75 வயசு வரைக்கும் தான் கொஞ்சம் சிரமமாக இருக்கும்.) Watch from 4.21 mins at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJjbmwFsIXk&t=2s

Ramanan's father reminds me of Tavayogi. He would brush aside troubles that knocked on his ashram doorsteps immediately and tell us that Agathiyar shall take care. He would not speak another word about it nor look desperately for a solution. That is the amount of faith he had in his guru. I wish I had that much. 

THE 5 TENETS OF AGATHIYAR

There was a call to come to the path. It was through the Nadi. The first lesson from the Siddhas was on karma and its effects. After having been threshed and strangled by the effects of our past karma, Agathiyar restored our faith and belief in the divine law and its system. Besides having us experience life as it showers on us the good, bad and ugly, Agathiyar then brought us to rediscover his 5 tenets which he proposed to serve as the core purpose of human birth at the Tamil Sangam.

1. He says that man must first understand his purpose in taking birth. The Nadi comes to a layman, seeker, or aspirant to reveal his purpose. The Guru comes to the disciple to reveal his purpose. The sadhaka in going within learns his true purpose in taking birth. Those who by some means leave their body momentarily come to know their purpose too. These are the means man comes to realize the cause of his birth and his mission. To a layman, he is told he took birth because of past karma. To a disciple, he is told that he has come for a mission to undertake for the good of society and mankind. To a Gnani, he realizes that he has come to merge with the divine. 

This reminds me of Dr. Bhani, a Siddha physician and devotee of Agathiyar, who gave a talk in one of the gatherings at a local Peedham many years back. He told us that songs of the saints can carry an inner meaning. They could be seen from an entirely different perspective by people of different standings in life too. For instance, the popular song of praise to Lord Ganapathy by Avvai goes as follows, carries three different understandings depending on the status of the listener. He went on to explain further. As a school-going kid, his class teacher would tell them that it was a song in praise of Lord Ganapathy and was sung in front of the statue or picture of him. Later as he took up Siddha medicine his guru told him that it was purely about medicine and treating illness and disease. When he came under the discipleship of his spiritual guru Yogi Ramaiah he was told that it was a song of Gnanam. A single song can carry so many variants of its meaning according to the listener's status. 

வாக்குண்டாம் நல்ல மனமுண்டாம் மாமலராள்

நோக்குண்டாம் மேனி நுடங்காது - பூக்கொண்டு

துப்பார் திருமேனித் தும்பிக்கையான் பாதம்

தப்பாமல் சார்வார் தமக்கு.

If the Siddha doctor stopped short of revealing the components of the herbal preparation, my friend a Medical doctor shared the components.

"அவ்வையார் தந்த பாட்டு.

திரு.....திருநீற்று பச்சிலை

மேனி......குப்பைமேனி

தும்பி.....தும்பை

கையான்.... கரிசலாங்கண்ணி

பாதம்.... சிறுசெருப்பாடை

கற்ப மூலிகைகள். பாதம் கிடைக்கவில்லை

The ratio is 1/4:1/2:3/4:1:1&1/4. It is to be taken twice a day, half an hour after breakfast and half an hour after dinner. For the first 12 days, with honey. For the next 12 days with ghee. Then, a break. Can be taken in 3-monthly intervals."

Traveling in a car, we cannot foresee what is beyond the turn or corner until we traverse the bend. One who flies in a light aircraft or helicopter sees a larger picture. As an astronaut, he sees the whole world. Just as our view expands as we change our mode of travel the Siddha who are in an elevated plane and are spiritually elevated see far and beyond. If a man has conquered space, the Siddhas who have conquered both space and time could look into the past, present, and future. 

2. With his purpose known then, he should come to thank the divine creator or energy that brought forth his birth (through consultation with the lunar forefathers and their angelic hierarchies that co-exist with us down here). Living a purposeful, meaningful, and fruitful life, coupled with a sense of gratefulness will then bring forth the showering of his blessings. These blessings and the efforts in carrying out his dictates result in the soul gaining strength or Soul Power or Atma Balam. He asked that we show appreciation to the divine that gave us an opportunity to take this birth again to come to terms with it and sort out our lives. 

3. He asks that we then thank all the caretakers both seen and unseen, in the present and the past. 

4. There arises then an obligation on our part to "dutifully aid and help, the ongoing evolution of all co-existing human beings." 

5. The final task is to extend this aid and help, towards "the ongoing evolution of all co-existing beings and entities, existing upon the lower levels of the evolutionary ladder, dutifully supporting the manifested matrix or prapanjam." 

(Summarized from Vashisht Vaid's post on his blog https://holysageagathiyar.com/ )

Having introduced us to his 5 tenets, Agathiyar provides all the tools that serve to enhance and enrich our purpose in taking birth. The mission and tasks and their accompanying techniques, methods, and tools work further in strengthening our body, soul, and spirit. To aid in seeing through these 5 tenets in life the Siddhas drew up a concise plan dividing it into four stages namely Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam. After following in the footsteps of our parents and ancestors engaging in Sariyai all life long, we are introduced to Kriyai with the coming of a guru. Following in the footsteps of the guru for several more years, we are brought to the next stage that of Yogam, or the science of restoring the health of the physical body and that of the soul. Eventually, Gnanam shall dawn on its own. 

BEHOLD A MESSAGE

As the recent pandemic took its toll on lives and the livelihood of many and forced us to stay indoors, a devotee took the opportunity to go within. As a result, he had a marvelous revelation given to him. It was truly a gift. He shared it over the phone with me this afternoon and I was delighted to hear the messages conveyed. He obliged me by putting it into writing on my requests. I shall clear the floor for him now.

DIVINE EXPERIENCE on 20th April 2020

- I have been told to fully not be arrogant about this experience, and this is not to show off or take fame from, it is only THEIR WILL AND THEIR GIFT that I am able to have this small vision of the INNER WORLD, and I am very humbled by it.

Message 1 

There is nothing in life to worry about or take seriously, as everything is "Pass Time", You have got the grace of God to go through every moment. Suddenly there was an image of a bridge, and at the end of it, the bridge was broken and nothing could pass thru, then a golden light fills the broken part of the bridge and we are able to walk through and cross the bridge.

That is how your life will be, filled with God's grace and everything will go on smoothly. 

Message 2 

After a couple of other messages and visions, I suddenly saw a "Time bar" as to how u would have on youtube, and I could see a hand taking out some parts of the timeline and replacing them, and I kept seeing this multiple times at different parts of the Time bar than I heard a voice, That is how God changes our future and destiny, just like a Jigsaw Puzzle, Interchangeable, ALL BY HIS GRACE. 

Actual Message from this Vision : 

Time & Destiny can be adjusted like a jigsaw puzzle by HIS GRACE! 

Message 3 (Last message before it ended) 

All those who are blessed by the grace of God have nothing to worry and even if something happens, is as if :

"Our ups & downs are just like droplets of water which will pass through God's Throat, and go into God's Stomach and merge with the water and wave in the stomach. Even if we drown, we are only drowning in God's Stomach while Quenching HIS THIRST!

Uncle can I share with you one other message I got after, which I always go back to, and something is telling me to just share it with you. I always had big dreams of opening a retreat center and have all those who come there to be able to connect with themselves and no priest, just Satsang, enjoy and so, I think you know of this dream of mine. BUT once I got this message, it changed my entire perspective on life and I thought I would share it with you.

"Don't aim to become famous or anything, we are not here to address the whole world, ours is just a small mission and work compared to all the others out there. So if you have been assigned a small work, why waste time on such a big thing, when you do a big thing, it takes up too much time. Enjoy your time. Big or small, God's work is God's work, even if it is just saving ONE person only, that is enough. So just be and follow the flow without any pressure, Relax!"

Yes, uncle, the key here is not to be pressured to push it thru, follow the flow and just be, if it happens, it will happen. 

But with this message, it struck me, why am I aiming to fulfill such a big dream to be considered as "doing God's work" 

Even if I were to just help 1 person it's categorized as "God's work" and it's the SAME God's work, big or small, in Their eyes it's the same. So that really hit me

Yes, uncle exactly what happen to me, not in the temple sense. But I know I am down for a different purpose rather than chasing for money, but because of my insecurity, I was trying other means to earn money and do it on my own. But that was drifting me away from my main purpose, said in a few messages to me that my journey will start in this house helping slowly thru the work of "Soul contract and sharing experience of the divine" But I am drifting away trying to build the bridge on my own, forgot about the golden light which they will do for me when the TIME IS RIGHT.

So it was a very big knock for me to realize this the hard way and in the process losing a lot of money. 

Listening to his experience in the other world while still connected and aware of ours, made me relate to several things that Tavayogi had told me in the past. For instance, at one juncture he told me that all our efforts will bring us only to the second step or gate or stage, the Svadishtana Chakra. We need the grace of the divine to hold our hands and lead us further until we reach Sahasrara, the seventh chakra. 

So when my friend was told that "That is how your life will be, filled with God's grace and everything will go on smoothly" and shown "an image of a bridge, and at the end of it, the bridge was broken and nothing could pass thru," and "then a golden light fills the broken part of the bridge and we are able to walk through and cross the bridge" that completes the understanding that we gained from Tavayogi's statement. We can never build a golden bridge however much we try. It is built by the divine. So too the journey beyond the second chakra has to be aided by the divine. I too had stagnated at this place. Agathiyar told me the energy was ponding there and it was not flowing beyond. 

Speaking about the bridge, having carried out puja and charity to our heart's content and to his satisfaction, Agathiyar brought down the shutters on both rituals and service. He told us it was enough. He told us that others will come by and carry on the tasks. It was very timely too for the Covid virus began to rear its ugly head just a couple of months later. Later he made me aware that all those efforts were towards working on gaining merits to bring a balance and offset negative karma that we had earned and brought along with us. Once both are balanced there is no necessity to carry on further for more merits gained than would necessitate another birth to gain the rewards for the good deeds we continue doing. Instead, he asked us to go within. Now this journey he says is such that we have to travel a narrow path and only one can go at a time. We understood that if prior to this we had gathered many to travel with us be it on a pilgrimage, doing puja and charity, now we have to travel alone. He warned us not to look back and wait up for others to catch up on us for our journey then shall be stalled. 

When he told me "I suddenly saw a "Time bar" as to how u would have on youtube, and I could see a hand taking out some parts of the timeline and replacing them, and I kept seeing this multiple times at different parts of the Time bar than I heard a voice, That is how God changes our future and destiny, just like a Jigsaw Puzzle, Interchangeable, ALL BY HIS GRACE", again I was brought back to Tavayogi's words of encouragement and solution to the problems of those who stood before him seeking a way out. He would tell them that their hardship was due to Vinai or Karma. If they were interested and wanted to know how to combat it, he would point out the worship of the Siddhas. The Siddhas are capable of editing each individual's timeline. 

Just as we understand from https://www.adobe.com/creativecloud/video/discover/video-timeline.html, the video timeline is:

"The timeline is the area of a video editing application where you arrange your video clips and map out all the edits you’d like to apply. From start to finish, you’ll see all your video clips, audio clips, effects, and transitions laid out in chronological order as you work. You’ll be able to reorder, trim, and enhance your clips — all the basics of video editing. You can also play your project at any point in the timeline to see how your edits will look.

Edits on the timeline do not alter your source files and are just previews of how edits will appear. You can undo anything you’re not happy with. Trim down a clip, and then extend it back out to full length again without consequence. Once you’re happy with your edits and are ready to export your video, Premiere Pro will encode a whole new video file incorporating all the edits you added to the timeline.

“If you’re a video editor, the video timeline is your canvas for making your art,” says cinematographer Joshua Martin. “You’re taking the footage that you shot and crafting it to make something very compelling, whatever that might be — a YouTube video, a film, a trailer, a commercial. On the timeline, you’re in full control of the story.”

the Siddhas when they come into our lives shall manage it for us, making the necessary cuts in the timelines and replacing them with fresh episodes or scenes, favorable to the development of our soul henceforth. As my friend mentioned that he saw them mapping his life before his own eyes, they take charge and are in charge. If prior to arriving at the Siddha our past acts and karma determined our fate and destiny that we brought on ourselves, and that we traveled with this tourist map given to us that was a blueprint of our current journey in the much larger journey of the soul, the Siddhas rewrite the map and our journey, rewrite out fate and hence our destiny too. The blueprint of our life undergoes a tremendous overhaul adding another version to it, 2.0, 3.0 etc.

And finally when he told me that, "Our ups & downs are just like droplets of water which will pass through God's Throat, and go into God's Stomach and merge with the water and wave in the stomach. Even if we drown, we are only drowning in God's Stomach while Quenching HIS THIRST!" he reminds me of yet another statement of Tavayogi. He would turn to us and say that Agathiyar was there and to leave everything to him and move on never for a moment dwelling on the issue on hand. That was the amount of faith he had in his guru, 100% sure that his guru would take care of things. If only we had such faith in our guru too. 

STEP OUT OF IT

The above song lyrics are one that I believe blossomed from the lyricist's experience and what he saw around him which we acknowledge too. Agathiyar, when he cornered me asking what I desired, after a brief moment of thought and as he was waiting for me to answer, I told him that I would take birth again and again and serve him. But he shot me down by telling me to look around me and see what was going around. I was puzzled. The next time around when he asked again, I was more prepared and asked for the state that Tavayogi had told us to attain - that of Gnana. Agathiyar shot me again. Gnana is not given nor gifted or sanctioned but has to be earned by traveling the distance he says. Both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi tell me that with persistent effort one day the vessel shall shine. The vessel when ready to house the divine - the divinity that once occupied the stone images and pictures - then moves within us. Soon this divinity is seen in others too and we realize that we are connected as a network in this vast framework or matrix of time and space. Moving further back into this space we begin to connect with our ancestors and lineage of gurus. Then we become one with prapanjam reaching beyond the confines of the mind and embracing all of creation. But for all this to take place the starting point is this vessel, our body, and mind. This had been wonderfully depicted in the closing scene of the movie "Lucy". 

The doctors at times when we are low in self-esteem and energy, tell us that there is a Vitamin and Mineral deficiency and give us some supplements to boost it. The gurus come along to perk up the energy levels in our chakras with their touch and look when it's low. Speakers take the stage and motivate us. They boost our spirit through their talks. Similarly, AVM in the past had sought Master Arunan to remove the obstacles on the path of the flow of these energies of several devotees and revitalize them by physically attending to their Varma points. Master Uva on his part helped remove and clear the energy blockages and heal their chakras. I remember bringing my daughter to the chief priest at the Buddhist Maha Vihara in Brickfields many years ago. Though the doctors had given her a clean bill, my daughter was distressed thinking she had something stuck in her throat. Hearing our plea he placed his palm on my daughter's head. With lips closed, he made a low, steady continuous sound like that of a bee. It was the chant of the sacred syllables AUM. Another practitioner of energy healing held her hand over my daughter's chakra points and when she came to her throat the hand fell on its own accord.

Those who have learned the tricks of the trade turn to engaging in rituals like fire-worship, puja, and chanting of mantras themselves to correct these imbalances. The late Dr.Krishnan told me that the body can heal by itself given time and with some assistance if there is a need. It is true that the body is amazing having seen it heal wounds and recover from ailments with some assistance. Since basically, we are one with nature we need to go back to nature for a cure or to reestablish the balance in our systems. But the sages and saints knowing the secret to tapping into the Prapanjam managed to heal their bodies with the assistance of Nature and the Universe. There are many such sages and saints though they could tap into the cosmos and the cosmic energy and revitalize and heal themselves, chose to volunteer, and instead were willing to take on the pains and sufferings of their disciples and devotees, bearing the pain and agony for their sake. 

Taking a walk in the woods revitalizes us. Just being near a waterfall or water source electrifies us. If a man begins to look back and look up towards nature he could reverse himself back to his original state. I guess this is the reason the sages and saints of old sought to hide in the caves and jungles. But the reverse is prevalent these days with modern-day gurus establishing facilities that bring on further comfort to their followers rather than have them hit the dirt track. Agathiyar in my second Nadi reading that came three years later in 2005, on seeing that I had returned from a pilgrimage of temples and followed all his directives given in the first, directed me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and his Kallar ashram. Tavayogi on his part volunteered to bring me to the places and abodes of the Siddhas. We took a walk into the jungles and spent our nights in caves. We dipped in the mineral-rich rivers that had their source in the Western Ghats. Agathiyar wanted me to experience ashram life too having me put up at Kallar ashram for several days. It was pretty interesting and something I never dreamt of. I am grateful to Agathiyar and Tavayogi for giving me this experience. For one who sought to know Siddha worship and looked around for guidance in vain, Agathiyar tied the knot with Tavayogi. I learned Siddha puja at his Ashram. Later when Tavayogi and Mataji conducted a puja at my home during their visit to Malaysia in 2010, I picked up from them the art of doing libation to Agathiyar and fine-tuned the homam or lighting of the sacrificial fire watching them do it. This was the first step in bringing the Siddhas into our homes. Later showing us yogasanas and pranayama, Tavayogi took us to another stage. That is how we grow and nurture this body to become an alayam or temple for divinity to reside in. But sadly we are satisfied with worshipping him externally, making regular visits to his place of worship or temple or abode, and placing our grievances before him and leave still carrying the load on us. 

Sages and saints had visions and darshans and revealed what they saw. These were later translated into images. God was given a form then that we have since begun to worship. An author who wrote a book about Vegan cooking was asked by a potential buyer if her book had lots of pictures or photos. Visuals work better than words. We might not comprehend the extensive songs of Ramalinga Adigal that stand at some 6,955 in Ponneri Sundaram Pillai's publication, but a song of his set to music sinks deep into our hearts and soul. These days his songs trigger something within us. Now I realize why Tavayogi told me that listening to his songs shall bring us to the state of Gnana as I played his songs in the car while driving Tavayogi to Bukit Rotan when he was in Malaysia back then. Media is far-reaching, especially videos. The latest findings say that people tend to watch videos more and above every other media. 

The Gods who are said to be residing in the heavens were brought to the earth by sages and saints of the past through deep contemplation and meditation often moving into the deep state of samadhi or oneness with the source and origin or creator. Temples and places of worship mushroomed later around them and above their samadhis. The idea of having us visit these places of worship is to reconnect with the source and bring divinity within us. But we fail to do that. Rather we visit them and start doing rituals. We stay till the last rituals are done and they are put to sleep and return home only to revisit them again. 

How many of us invite them into our house? We do not even want to light a lamp at the altar much less sing their praise. The idea of having altars and lighting a lamp in our individual homes is to invite divinity into our homes. Supramania Swami told me to keep the flame going for he shall watch me through it. The deity Karupanasamy who came into a cousin of my colleague kept mentioning the flame and pointing to a nearby temple that he asked to send over. Upon alighting from the car, he walked into the temple and asked him to light camphor, and "left" his cousin's body. Ramalinga Adigal who attained the higher states of the soul and bodily evolution was lost for words to describe even higher reaches of the Lord's kingdom. He was saddened that he had failed in his attempt to change people and their mindsets and failed in his efforts to elevate them to these higher levels of attainment that he had experienced. He told them that though the locals had shunned his teachings it shall be picked up by those in other nations. Seeing that rituals and temple worship were only the means and a stepping stone to knowing one's soul and to higher things in the spiritual realms, he wanted to bring them out of rituals that had shackled them for far too long. He showed them that it was possible to transform one's body and soul to that of light and transcend the universe and merge in all of creation and finally return to the source. For this purpose, he built the Satya Gnana Sabai for men who could not visualize the higher teachings. Here the Jothi that is both with form and without is worshipped. In the final moments of his departure, he addressed his followers in frustration, as they would not change their ways, he gave them the lamp and the flame he used to worship. He gave his followers a simple way to redeem and save their souls and attain salvation realizing that they were not ready for his teachings. 

Someone in distress was told by several messengers that Agathiyar and the Siddhas were waiting outside her home for an invitation from her to come in. When there are those to whom he has made known that he is waiting outside their homes for an invitation to come in, with us he arrives even without a calling these days. Even before we are gathered for his event, he arrives ahead of time and dictates what needs to be done. 

One might ask what is the difference between temple worship and Siddha worship. One distinctive difference that I noticed after engaging in both is that the temple though is a place built for the public to converge and worship, worship here is still centered around each individual. For instance, we are asked our birth sign and star as we stand before the Lord in the temple having bought a token for "archanai", where a simple chant/song/recitation is then conducted on our behalf by the priest. The priest is a middleman here asking the deity to grant us favors and fulfill our individual wishes. So is it with the lighting of yagams that are conducted in temples for our individual wants to be fulfilled. These are conducted on occasions like moving into a new home and at our weddings too. It is all rather self-centered and for the individual concerned. On the other hand, sitting in at a Siddha Homam and conducting the fire ceremony is for the good of all of the creation rather than for the individual, says Agathiyar. The Siddha puja envelops the whole of Prapanjam. 

Even the godmen and those serving God are in delusion. It takes guts to admit that one does not know. When many these days seem to have answers to everything, Tavayogi replied he did not know when I asked him what Ramalinga Adigal meant when he sang in numerous places of his Thiruarutpa that the "dead shall arise". The song "Kadavulum Naanum" is very relevant, especially in these times where the innocent is a victim of many scams and treachery, where it seems the evil has the upper hand and the divine is seen to be helpless. But even the Gods tend to sit back and watch the unfoldment of the monstrosity that humanity had created. But this song should not be construed as asking us to abandon temple worship, rituals, and other tools. The first line itself clearly defines the state of the lyricists. "KADAVULUM NAANUM PESIDUM POLUTHU TARAGARGAL YETHARKKU" translates to "When I am conversing with God why do I need middlemen?" For one who has begun to speak to God indeed why does he need middlemen? It is applicable only and only when we attain that state. Until then we need all the means and tools. This is akin to Sivavakiyar's state where attaining godhood he condemns all forms of worship and even writes off the belief in rebirths.

Asking us to come to the path of the Siddhas in the Nadi reading, Agathiyar gave us a list of names of Siddhas to be worshipped, courtesy of the Nadi reader Senthilkumar during the thanksgiving ritual for the Nadi reading, "Naadikku Dhaanam". We ventured to know more. Our understanding then expanded. We engaged in rituals and charity. Soon it was all brought to an abrupt halt coinciding with the coming of the lockdowns after the Covid virus emerged in December of 2019. With the pandemic being a reason for everyone to stay indoors, Agathiyar wanted each home to become his Vanam or garden, each home turning into Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia or AVM. Once the lockdowns and restrictions were lifted, now Agathiyar himself has offered to visit the homes of his devotees and has left it to his devotees as to how they wanted to usher him and attend to him while there. My wife too understands what had transpired in this journey of ours. She shares her understanding. She says Agathiyar saw through the curtain and knew that we had become addicted to these rituals and the acts of doing charity. She says we were getting high on puja and doing charity looking forward to the next occasion or event that would take place. Agathiyar's devotees were hooked to the idea of coming over to AVM for all their spiritual needs and becoming dependent on external tools. He saw through this danger and snapped it in the bud. 

She adds that when we started we saw Agathiyar outside in the forms that were conveyed and passed on to us by our ancestors. We carried the tradition not willing to question or break it. Today we truly understand what Tavayogi meant when he told us to step out of Bakthi or devotion and come to Gnanam or the journey within. We had to let go of our addiction to puja and charity and seek him in his abode within the vessel, that is the body, now. Agathiyar had us go on an external journey undertaking a pilgrimage first. We had first-hand experience of the bliss and also disappointments on this journey. Later he had Tavayogi take us on a pilgrimage and adventure of a different kind to his abodes. These were true moments of extreme bliss. Today he has asked us to step within to realize even greater bliss that is waiting to awaken from within. The guru came to show us that God was residing within for those ready to go on this internal journey. 

REMINISCENCE

Switching us off in 2019 and getting us to sit at home with the rest of the world in view of the pandemic Agathiyar has arisen to move to the homes of his devotees. I guess it is for the sake of exposing the kids to the path this time around. Agathiyar has moved away from the norm and decentralized AVM. His wish is to see every home become Agathiyar Vanam. And so he broke his devotees' dependency on a center. Neither did I want my home to turn into a center. I believed that Agathiyar shall grace the homes of all devotees who call out to him just as I did. For the past 2 1/2 years, he saw to it. Today I understand his calculative moves to build and destroy even this group. He taught us non-attachment. For that matter, AVM was a loose group of devotees getting together to worship and do his work. Today the buck has been passed on to these youngsters who made the core of AVM to groom their children. These kids growing up in our homes need our guidance. They had come taking up residence in the homes of parents who prayed to the Siddhas. They have to be groomed now after a break of 2 yrs that coincided with the several lockdowns in place as a result of the pandemic. For this purpose, Agathiyar is visiting his devotees again in their homes having libation or abhishegam and the fire ceremony or homam performed.

Everything has been said. Has been told. There is nothing much to add. Now it is time to reflect on his words and live the life that he envisioned for us rather than live according to our wishes. Agathiyar walked the earth in the past to bring balance just as there is talk about balancing the scales in Marvel's screen adaptation of the comic book "Moon Knight". We often speak about uplifting experiences. When the Siddhas come within it is literally an uplifting experience. We lose our guard or awareness of the moment and are lifted off our feet in these rare moments of bliss. 

Intellectual pursuits might bring in money, recognition, fame, and recognition and satisfy the ego. It might bring some good to the masses too. Now I truly understand why Supramania Swami told me back then in 2003 when I met him for the very first time that there are three things one should either keep secretive or do it secretly. Sex, taking food and puja, or conducting prayers. I was taken aback then asking myself how I was to adopt these three. It is impossible. For sex, you need another partner. Food is usually taken in the midst of family and friends, colleagues, and strangers too at events or eateries. Puja is in the company of others too. Today I understand his words pretty well. What he meant was all three bring on satisfaction to the soul going beyond the senses. Sexual satisfaction that is satisfying to the flesh, body, and senses takes on another paradigm shift and satisfies the soul moving from chitrinbam to perinbam when one arrives at a state that Swami mentions. He did not stop me from indulging in the act. Never have I read Ramalinga Adigal stop us. While the former recommends engaging in the act on full moon nights the latter recommends fortnightly.

Food too has become auspicious and sacred not only filling our stomachs but has gone beyond the tongue that tastes them going beyond the throat and stomach and beyond making flesh and blood. Going beyond the state of satisfaction brings on a state of experience where it reaches the farther reaches of the entire constitution that we are made of. Agathiyar explains that in his state he is feeding the elements or buthas. Food in the form of prana-packed air around us leads us there. Pranayama done consistently shall bring us to a state where we engage with the prana all around henceforth taking it in without the need for these practices later on. It is as if we switch on the gear to inhale all the goodness of prana around us.

In puja we sing the praises of God by belting divine numbers. We tend to ask why does God need to be praised as put forward by a seeker to me. Agathiyar came to answer him only recently that they do not need our praise. On the contrary by doing so changes take place in us at the level of the cells and atoms. Vibrations begin to happen that bring on a multitude of forms and sounds that transform the very self. We become transformers bringing on the energy turning into energy vortexes and in turn help spread to others at times healing their souls and bodies too. These songs later transcend the joy that is apparent in listening to our favorite song and singer and alter the height of reception connecting with the divine music out there in the universe.

Sex, Music and Food bring on extreme satisfaction and completeness or puranam to the ailing soul. The touch of a partner, the care of the parents, the soothing words of a friend, and the encouraging words of our mentors all bring us out of the rut that we are in. The guru comes to lift us up further. Agathiyar tells us that he was only delivering the teachings and practices that the Siddhas themselves had carried out and experimented on. Hence I believe it was not wrong for me to drive away a curious psychologist and a reader of this blog, who wanted to lay me on the couch and reach into my mind to establish his hypothesis that I was hallucinating when I shared many a conversation that Agathiyar had with us in this blog. I told him to carry out everything I had practiced and find out for himself rather than establishing findings based on others.

The Siddhas are very much down to earth. I was surprised to hear that Bhogar had spoken about the flesh trade that flourished in a neighboring country. A devotee was told by Agathiyar that he did not mind his photo kept in his bedroom. The Siddhas never alienated any woman who menstruates in their puja. 

Water breeds all kinds of creatures. How us that vegetarian? Plants take in the minerals from the soil that is a result of numerous other once-living but now dead creatures breaking down eventually and decomposing into the soil. The air we breathe carries numerous minute creatures too. I guess when Ramalinga Adigal realized that there is nothing actually vegetarian in nature he looked towards the skies for drinking water, drinking the rainwater even before it touches the ground and is polluted or before fishes and amphibians appear and begin to live in it. He advocates that we drink rainwater too. But our air is so polluted with industries thriving.

One thing I learned traveling with my gurus on the path of the Siddhas is that nothing falls from the skies at least initially and that we have to slog and work towards it. Tavayogi says our efforts are till the second chakra svadhistana. Thenceforth they shall raise us up. Supramania Swami too told me that we shall polish the ware till it shines. Today after traveling some 20 years we can sit back and reap the gains of our ventures thanks to the grace of the gurus and the Siddhas. 

Bringing us to do rituals he had us step out of it and go within. Bringing us to do charity he had us leave it behind too. He made us realize that each one of us is serving be it God or mankind or plants and animals in their own capacities. We are serving each other in numerous capacities. But talk about serving we only limit ourselves to those in the religious ways serving God or those serving man and beast on humanitarian grounds. We fail to realize and give credit to people who do serve others by going about their daily life and occupations too. We forget to thank the rubbish collector. We forget to thank the other road users who drive carefully saving us from mishaps. We forget to thank the medical profession that is on stand by 24/7 caring for our needs. So how do we return the favor? What we can do is to go beyond our routine and jobs and help others too with our knowledge. 

Do not carry the bitter past that is ingrained in us due to constant recollection. Neither carry the baggage and can of worms. The evolution of species can be divided into two categories. The amount of love for others serves as a yardstick. Man who is full of love is seen as a divine being or deivam by family, friends, society, and community. Animals that return the love towards humans are said to take on a human birth at some time in the future. On the other hand, a man who is a pest or parasite in society might slide back down the ladder and take on an animal birth. An animal that is a danger and pest to others will need to take several births before attaining the height of human birth. That which determines our next birth is I suppose love.

We do not have a face. What we see of ourselves is a reflection in a mirror or water. In the movie "Dune" we hear the advice of a grandfather shared. He had said that great men do not seek power. Instead, he is called to. We understand it as when villains seeking power cause widespread damage. Here then the hero accidentally happens to be in the wrong place and is bestowed powers.

I was happy to receive a call from a friend who told me life was good for him now. After landing a much-needed job that paid sufficiently for him to settle all his past debts he paid his gratitude to Agathiyar. He continues his home puja and conducts puja at Agathiyar temples. He continues his yoga practices and his charity programs. Life could never be better he tells me as he had shared the past life that had taken a toll on him earlier. It is rare to come across those who give thanks to the divine. We think we deserve his kindness and mercy forever. We take control of our lives all live long and only allow him for a moment into our lives as we stand before him at the altar or temple and expect him to help us out in times of trouble. When nothing materializes according to our wants we condemn him for not helping out and even question if he was around. In reading the Nadi we are told that our lives revolve around our karma. We fail to realize that the divine cannot intervene for we have to live it out. But when we surrender to him he knows what needs to be done henceforth. Many show their anger towards him when they are threatened with illnesses and their lives take a beating. How fair is it for us to blame the divine when we do not take care of our health and lives or make wrong choices in life? 

Watching the movie "Sound of Metal" made me recall my fear when I thought I was losing my hearing several times. A fear would set upon me and I would pace my home desperately blowing my nose and doing pranayama hoping it would clear. Similarly, a sudden fear for no reason would arise in me waking me from my sleep many a day. Agathiyar in asking me to go within also placed lots of obstacles and hurdles for me to clear. I failed miserably. Just as I thought I should sit in meditation as he has asked us the clanking of the pots and pans from the neighbors who would decide to start cooking just then. Or a neighbor would drill into the wall or knock and bang something just then. The din and noise from the neighborhood children banging the wall and letting out screams would upset my meditation and I would arise to leave. Just as I think about getting some fresh air and opening up my windows the smell of cooking rajasic food from the neighbors or the stench of the neighbors' cats that chose to go in our garden reaches my nose. I would frown at Agathiyar and get angry at times initially. Later I began to congratulate him for his mischief in seeing that my venture in following his directive fails. He was sabotaging me. He was testing me. Ramalinga Adigal comes to tell me that all these shall lead one to gain Gnana or reach that state of impartiality. 

In the "Sound of Metal", Ruben who is a metal band drummer loses his hearing fast. His girlfriend sends him over to the home for the deaf. He is given a separate room and told to just sit and have his morning coffee at 5am by the caretaker. In the event he can't sit doing nothing, he is told to write. Similarly, there are some rare moments when I can go beyond sitting for some minutes, many answers come to my mind and I resign to start jotting them down less it passes by in a flash. Later I would expand these notes and write by post.

The caretaker of the school for the deaf comes around later asking Ruben if he had ever experienced a stillness that prevails in these moments of silence. He goes on to tell him that the place, where stillness is, is the kingdom of God and that it never abandons him. He says further that his house is built on trust and if that is violated anything can happen. How true. How far do we trust God? Instead, we go ahead and mend things and worsen them.

The movie "Sound of Metal" made me appreciate hearing. I guess that is how my aged mother hears too for she has lost her hearing as we have to speak up. I still have a fear of losing my senses and my eyesight, hearing, taste, speech, thinking memory, and mobility. In my younger days I used to hover close to the ceiling and look down at myself, my brother, father, sister's, and mother sleeping. I would then sway violently from one corner to another and dive into my body. I never knew what was happening then. Some tell me that could this be an out-of-body experience.

There we several moments of discomfort that I asked myself if it was due to my age reaching  63, the vaccine that I took for covid, or whether it was subtle changes that Agathiyar brought on from within. These are the times I missed Tavayogi. He has to be here now so that I can fall back to him and enquire about these changes that are taking place within me and in my thoughts.

Giving hope to live to another is great dharma. Agathiyar often does this too. Just as the blind man asks a young boy contemplating suicide to describe the surroundings, and just as a blind inmate of an adjacent cell in the prison gives hope to a young boy remanded for several days in the jail by describing the world beyond the walls of the prison, when he is asked to describe what he saw through the open window, Agathiyar gives us hope too. In the former, the lad begins to see the world anew and drops his intention to take his life. In the latter, the kid is surprised to find out that the one who narrated to him the outside world while in prison was blind.

Agathiyar says that the greatest dharma that even goes beyond service and feeding is to spread the word of the guru. Know our purpose. There are 4 ways to do it. The Nadi, guru, in deep meditation or after a near-death experience. Know it before our life comes to an end.

The mountain is a mountain again. I have come one full cycle. I have done many stupid things in life. Now it is time for payback and to correct the wrongs. Otherwise one needs to come back again just to do these in another future birth.