Tavayogi instructed me to carry out the homam or a smaller version of the Yagam or Yagna in my home after I came to know him. I did but reluctantly. I was not captivated by rituals. But he urged me on telling me it was a simple affair and guided me as to what was required and how to go about it, all over the phone. When he visited Malaysia later he introduced more things and procedures into the ritual as I watched and learned from him. He too had started lighting the Yagam at his ashram grounds after the 2004 Tzunami hit parts of the world and devastated towns, destroyed property, and swept away lives. Prior to that horrific event and rage of Mother nature, he carried out the yagam but it was to honor the birth and guru puja of Agathiyar. Soon he introduced the Sarva Dosa Nivaarana Maha Yagam that accommodated prayers to heal the sick and rid the sins of devotees too. By being present at the ritual and by inhaling the smoke that emitted as a result of the herbs and medicinal plants offered into the sacrificial fire it was believed that the health of those who attended would improve. He initiated the move to let devotees sit at individual small Yagam pits that were prebooked for a small contribution and light their own fire as Tavayogi sang and lead the prayers. But due to lack of manpower to supervise and guide these devotees he discontinued it in subsequent years but retained the main Yagam pit that he presided over. The Siddhas were said to come down from their abodes and witness and bless the event. So did I light up the sacrificial fire concurrently with the rituals at Kallar Ashram. Many gathered at AVM while some made the journey to Kallar to participate. Agathiyar mentioned in the Nadi that the Siddhas did come down at both places.
Seeing that I was reluctant and wasn't fully convinced of the efficacy of the ritual, Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that I wasn't doing it for myself and my family but for the well being of all that existed in the Prapanjam or all of the manifestation of the cosmos, universe, etc. Only then I realized the magnanimity of the ritual and the great responsibility that was given to me and my family and the few who gathered at my home. We took up the task with dedication, and did the ritual regularly, on Thursday, Full moon and New moon days, and other auspicious days. The heat built up in us too as the fire was fed with ghee and other herbs and medicinal plants. Other devotees joined us and gathered together to carry out the rituals that soon found their way to selected temples that accepted Siddha worship. It brought on a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment knowing that we were doing a small part to give back to the cosmos.
Although we are told in the many texts that the fire in the sacrificial pit receives and delivers our offerings to the deities in their realms, we never peered into the everchanging form of the fire to identify deities. We took it as an honor in being given an opportunity to honor prapanjam instead as Tavayogi and Agathiyar intended. We knew that our small effort would go a long way to heal and protect it.
This ritual was carried out through the years, beginning with our meeting with Tavayogi and getting initiated officially into the Siddha path in 2005, through to late 2019 when Agathiyar brought it all to a halt, asking us to drop it and move on into the many aspects of Yoga. Sariyai and Kriyai were brought to a halt as we embarked on Yogam and Gnanam. Surprisingly even the many programs of charity charted and carried out were brought to a halt as we stepped into going within. The pandemic and the lockdown that came into place ensured that we adhered to this. Hardly did we step outdoors except to purchase the essentials.
Although we were rather unclear initially about Agathiyar's move in the closure and dissolving of the groups that came soon after, eventually he disclosed the motive of his move. He had come to tell us that henceforth it was a lone journey. We too figured his move and what he was up to subsequently. We learned that he was breaking our attachment to it all. We had grown fond of the group and the family. We had grown fond of the Satsang. We had grown fond of the rituals and puja. But if he allowed us to be, we would still be engaged in what we started doing in 2013. We understood that he meant well in dissolving all that was painstakingly put in place and organized, just as the Buddhis monks after painstakingly sitting together to create the Mandala destroy it after a small prayer. It was to drive the point that nothing was permanent in this world.
Another reason I guess is that we had contributed enough to the Prapanjam. Now it was time to receive from it. The immense power of prayers, puja, and rituals was seen and experienced by all those who gathered, as it helped bridged both worlds, the Siddhas and ours. The Siddhas crossed over and came to bless and guide us, dropping the need to seek their blessings and messages conveyed through the medium of the Nadi anymore. Now they found another means and another medium to communicate and touch us personally through selected devotees. Soon they came to assist and show us the way to connect and tap into the cosmos. It came in torrents as in a torrential pour, unassisted and by their grace. The floodwaters were let out. The dam was opened. They helped bring the cosmic energy within us and showed us numerous practices to enhance the flow and retain the energy within. Amazingly when I was with Siddha physician Arivananthan he had shown us to stand on tip-toes and raise our hands to stretch and reach for the sky while at the same time planting both the feet firmly into the ground. But he told us it was a means to strengthen the nerves and keep the body fit. Similarly, though we could feel the prana surge within us as we practiced further, we never knew that the yoga practices Tavayogi showed us and that we adopted helped bring the prapanjam within until Ramalinga Adigal initiated us into it.
While the Yoga practices cleared the path of the nerves removing deadlocks and blockages and revived the chakras to perform optimum, the Prapanjam came within and energized the elements within the body. Just as Agathiyar had reminded us that we were not doing the homam for our sake but that for the wellness of the Prapanjam and all in it, the Siddhas, in return, helped bring the goodness of the Prapanjam to us. The fort that is the body or Kaya Puri was hence strengthened as the Prapanjam was brought within. The various bodies in turn were strengthened and energized too, the energy spreading out through the layers and beyond coming in contact with all those within reach and receptive to it.
As the saying goes a good deed deserves another, the task given to us that was done unselfishly and without questioning the fruits of our action or desiring rewards for carrying it out saw the Prapanjam return the favor in our deepest hours of need. Lord Dhanvanthri came and told my daughter that the Prapanjam shall heal her eyesight and that he shall heal her with his energy too. True to what he said, the doctors today certified that she was recovering well after her operation. The doctors and their deep knowledges were the tools and the method to perform the procedure and their effort end there. The healing has to take place from within often assisted and aided with continued monitoring and care, and with medicines and technology. The Prapanjam comes to take over and continues from where the doctors left.
Today we fully understand the reason the Siddhas took to performing the Yagam. Besides amplifying its strength through the chantings that accompany the ritual, the very structure of the Prapanjam is preserved and strengthened to serve God's play or Lila. As the water evaporates and rises to form clouds by the heat generated by the Sun, smoke, and mantras from the Yagam pit reach out to the sky forming and becoming cloud storage from whence files could be downloaded when and as required to save a soul, to heal another, etc. As the saying goes "You reap what you sow", the merits and good deeds done for the continued sustenance of the Prapanjam return to us enriching our lives. Please do take up the practice of performing Homam in your homes.