BYE

Just as Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) which was initiated by Agathiyar in 2013 and brought to a close in 2019, only to be revived again on 28 August 2024 under the mentorship of Mahindren, I believe Mrs Kogie Pillay will take her blog "Aakshara Wellness" to new heights, hence relieving me of writing further. I have come to learn to let go while walking with the Siddhas. Just as our parents initially came to show us the way and the path and have us follow the signposts, later, they held our hands as we walked along, and finally, they let go of our hands and watch us with pride taking baby steps on our own, so do the Siddhas let go of us eventually, for then you are one of their kind. 

I thank my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, and the Siddhas and Agathiyar and Erai for this wonderful journey and for having me share it with readers. I am at peace and in bliss. Agathiyar has brought everything to a closure getting me to tie up all the loose ends.

A STAR IS BORN - Aakshara Wellness

I had written about a reader and devotee of Agathiyar from South Africa reaching out to Tavayogi and subsequently arriving at his Kallar Ashram in a previous post and that she has taken to blogging her experiences and sharing them with us. Indeed, going through her posts, I shared the ups and downs in trying to get there in time for her Nadi reading and the eventual excitement, bliss, and joy that came on as all was well by Agathiyar's grace. Read her story further at https://aaksharawellness.blogspot.com/2025/03/is-there-more-to-life-than-this-maiden.html?m=0

THE ASHRAM

"We cannot change the beginning but surely can change the ending." We see this mentioned in a short film by Suyeol Jang. How true it is. So have many ventured to come out of the coccon and take a big step to travel long distances to change their fate. We often read and hear about these successful personalities who made it big. Their drive and energy make us and keep us on our feet, too. We then learn that it all boils down to whom we associate with. We have to pick our friends, colleagues, and associates with care. The spiritual masters, too, have to watch out for who comes along. Hence, we understand what Tavayogi said to me once that the guru shall test his disciple for some 12 years before imparting anything to him. The patient one shall be accepted into the fold. But in this world of instant noodles, we each want things happening immediately or leave for greener pastures. Then, instead of stepping on the green meadow, we step into a swamp of muddy water or, even worse, the quicksand. It is a long walk indeed on this path. It might have been a few births before we arrived in this spot, too. There might be more births awaiting before we are accepted into the fold. But let us take baby steps for now as a victim of a forest fire in California who saw her home razed down as did many others, tells Simon Reeve in a BBC documentary about rebuilding her life after the fire. 

Coming to the spiritual path is about rebuilding one's life, too, but not as in accumulating but in learning to let go. Hence, rather than rebuilding it to its former majesty, it is about reconstructing one's life with only the essentials needed to sustain life. Hence, we see the idea of simple cottages, hermitages, and Ashrams come about. Both the Ashram and its tenants are equally humble. One is at peace with life. The search stops. The visitations stop. One aligns with nature. Occasionally, a seeker would drop by and might make it his stop and home too. But sadly, with time and the coming of many, the necessity to accommodate and feed them requires an extension and expansion of the premises. The very core and nature of a simple Ashram shifts away into oblivion and is forgotten. What then takes shape is an institution. The very idea of an Ashram is to have us drop our dependency on all the luxuries that we have been used to like hot showers, running water, electricity, entertainment, etc. The moment I stood at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram, he told me not to expect all these. We had to bathe in the river that flowed nearby. We had to hit the sack after dark as there was no electricity. We could not venture far, for our own safety, as his Ashram was on the fringes of a jungle. Simple food was prepared by those who knew how to cook and we had to wash our own dishes and clothes. He told the devotees gathered during his last visit to Malaysia that I had a culture shock back then on my first visit to his Ashram in 2005. 

So when Mrs Molly Menon emailed me from the USA asking if the Ashram had these facilities or that of a lodge, I spilled the truth, telling her not to expect these. But even then she turned up at Kallar Ashram, and there was no turning back for her. She quickly adapted herself to a life of a hermit, too.  

A STAR IS BORN

I took the opportunity in 2003 to step on the soil where my father was born and walked the street of Kilsevalpatti in Karaikudi/ Sivagangai, where he grew up and played as a child when Agathiyar sent me on my maiden journey to India to carry out the remedies for my past karma as he listed them out one by one in my Nadi reading. After I met Tavayogi on our shores in 2005, I went to India again after Agathiyar in the Nadi reading told me to spend a couple of days at his Kallar Ashram and learn from him. I was expecting to come by a typical Ashram where one has to adhere to a strict regime and schedule and is taught and given practices to follow. But I was surprised when the Ashram was quiet, with only an aide in attendance and a couple of visitors still hanging around after a recent Pournami Puja. We retired to bed early at 8pm as there was no electricity then. The morning after I arrived, Tavayogi invited me on his morning walk, which I took up. Returning later to the Ashram, he went about his daily chores or otherwise sat alone in deep thought. Occasionally, someone would drop by, and he would entertain them, or they might bring him out. Asking me if I wanted to visit the caves or the other Ashrams further up in the Ooty hills, I chose the caves. That was the start of our adventure, as he pointed out to me. I returned home filled not with knowledge but filled to the brim with the bliss and joy that came as a result of this rare experience. I documented my travels and experiences first on several websites of mine and later in this blog, Siddha Heartbeat 1 and 2. Today, after 20 years, I have come to realize that an Ashram, just as did Kallar Ashram, should provide us the space to be with ourselves and not lay out a schedule to adhere to and keep us occupied. Agathiyar had sent me to the right place.

So too did Mrs Molly Menon from Kerala, who spent her later years in the USA, make her way to Kallar Ashram in 2011 after emailing me upon reading about my stay and travels with Tavayogi. On July 3, 2011, she writes to me for the very first time, seeking to know about Agathiyar and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal’s ashram at Kallar.

Hello Mr. Shanmugam, I am Meena Menon from U.S.A. We had been communicating about Guruji Tavayogi. I am also known as Molly Menon/ Mrs.Menon.

I guess what she read on my website made such a great impression that she left for Kallar. Her flight on the path of the Siddhas began on that day in 2011. Upon reaching India, she e-mails me on Thursday, October 20, 2011. At Kallar, Agathiyar, through Tavayogi, magically and mysteriously initiated her. Jnana Jyothiamma had planned to spend six months at Tavayogi’s Ashram, but Tavayogi sent her away after her initiation, asking her to return to the U.S.A. She left reluctantly after a couple of weeks, missing the Annual Guru Puja and Jayanthi celebrations.

Once back in the USA, she writes to me,

"It started thus .... it started with a call ... instructions from the Divine ..... and I was in India before even I knew what was going on ... only to get back after two weeks to the United States ... and then again get back to India after five months. ..... as the highest power in the universe ‘wanted an audience with me at Kallar’. Will anybody believe what I'm saying? They think me stark mad .. totally screwed up ... beyond the point of no return". 

"Hmm .. dunno what to say ... choked up ... really .. all kinds of feelings sweeping through me ... too many memories ... two weeks ... an experience of a Yuga ... that's all I can say."

She came to be known to all later as Jnana Jothiamma. I documented her travels and experiences that she shared with me subsequently on Skype. 

Then we have a devotee whose ancestors from Madurai, Tamilnadu, worked in the sugarcane fields of South Africa, visit Kallar, and became captivated by and devoted to Tavayogi and his teachings. Writing to me, she introduced herself and began to share her experiences in subsequent mails. 

My salutations to you. My name is KP. I hail from the southern most tip of Africa, namely South Africa. I got your personal email address off your blog when you kindly provided it to another devotee. I sincerely apologize in advance for using it, it is not my intention to invade your privacy in any way. 

I am a frequent visitor on your blog and I thank you profusely for being the instrument which led me to Agathiyar. My story is extraordinary, having said that, I believe every person fortunate enough to experience Agathiyar, would have an extraordinary story. 

Your writing is truly magnetic and the manner in which you selflessly share the personal experiences of your journey and your knowledge to educate us tiny atoms is sincerely admirable. The wise Agathiyar has certainly chosen an exceptional soul to impart the work of the siddhars. 

The purpose of my email is to humbly seek your permission to share my story with you, on a private platform (perhaps on this email address), and given that you are so far travelled on your journey with the divine one, any insights or thoughts you may have, I would be most grateful to receive. Blessed Regards, KP

She then wrote a piece for Siddha Heartbeat. 

Towards the end of February, 2015 I stumbled upon a blog, quite by accident, or so I thought. I subsequently learnt that there are no coincidences or chance experiences, as we often perceive them to be. The photos of the Agathiyar Gnana Peedam in Kallar caught my eye and from that very first visual, I experienced a physical energy vibration under my skin, which flowed through my body. This was accompanied with a spinning sensation at the top of my head (crown chakra). It felt strange at first.

For the days that followed I frequented the site with increased curiosity. Again, I followed the links and arrived at the ashram in Kallar. I viewed the prayers and visually absorbed the statues and the inside of the temple with piqued interest. Each time I indulged myself with these visits the vibrations I experienced became more intense. I remember little else other than the distinct knowing that I had to go there. 

Now would be a good time to mention (again) that I live in South Africa, yet, it did not appear to be an irrational thought to go to Kallar at all. I did not dwell on this desire for long. I conferred with my husband about my experiences and an unexplainable feeling to go the ashram far across the world from us. My longing to go was not challenged. He immediately trusted my instincts and supported my mission.

By the 3rd of March (only a few days later), he had booked us two tickets to go to India. I promptly embarked on planning an itinerary with great zeal. On the 6th of March, upon checking, I discovered that our passports had just expired. The 9th of March (a Monday) we frantically applied for new passports. I did not panic and knew unexplainably all will be well, a reaction unfamiliar to me. The new passports were produced and ready for collection within a week (around the 16th - 17th of March). We fetched them without delay and applications for visas were submitted. Visas were granted (around the 24th - 25th of March) and all documents were in order by the 27th of March with only a weekend to spare before our flight to India, departing on the 30th of March. We managed to pull all of that off in less than a month.

The night of our impromptu journey arrived. We boarded our flight timeously, but had to sit through a one hour delay while baggage and other flight contents had to be re-loaded to apparently, balance the weight on the aircraft. I buffed off this technical hitch as a much bigger mission absorbed my attention. My husband however, was concerned that the delay may result in us missing a connecting flight from the UAE to India. The flight staff assured us this would not happen given their airline was delayed and our connecting flight was with their airline as well.

Our delayed arrival in the UAE however, did result in us, including many other passengers missing our ongoing flights. For us, missing this one flight resulted in missing another from Chennai to Coimbatore as well. The drama that usually follows when negotiating with airline personnel went into action. All other outgoing flights were fully booked and the next flight available to us was some time the next day. Our appointment and requirement was to not just be in Coimbatore, but in Kallar by 9h00 the following day, a Wednesday to have the Jeeva Naadi reading. I astonished myself once more and did not panic.

After much collaboration and negotiation the airline managed to accommodate us on an earlier daytime flight to Chennai to enable us to catch another flight with another airline to Coimbatore on the morning of the reading. (Our original plans were to arrive in Coimbatore the night before and take a leisurely drive to Kallar in the morning). 

We arrived in Coimbatore on the Wednesday, 1st of April and departed from the airport a little after 8h10. There was no time for a hotel check in hence we headed straight to the ashram in Kallar. The driver had heard of the ashram but was not sure of its exact location. After driving for some time we decided to make a quick stop to buy garlands and fruit to take to the ashram. We stopped again several times during the drive to ask for directions and local people were happy to show us the way. We arrived at the steps of the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedam and began our ascent to the ashram. I looked at my watch at this point and it was, miraculously, 9h00. There was no rational explanation as to how we surmounted the many obstacles to get there at 9h00…

We reached the ashram, washed our feet and stepped into Agathiya’s holy abode. We had come all the way from the very tip of Africa to a remote place we had not heard of a month ago. It felt surreal. Thavayogi Thangarasan Adigal had just begun his prayer. We participated and gratefully took his blessings at the end.

After a while, we introduced ourselves to both Marthaji and Thavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, who were expecting us, as we had previously communicated telephonically and via email. Marthaji wrote down my husband’s name in a notebook. These would be the names of people who would have a reading on that day. She explained that he (my husband) could have the reading, which would benefit the family as a whole, and I would be called in when the reading was being explained/translated. I had no idea of how the process unfolded but I accepted this.

We sat and waited patiently, with others, in the comfortable waiting room. We were blessed that the waiting room was cool almost as if it had it’s own cooling system. It was incredibly hot, temperatures we were not used to. In our hurry to get to the ashram we did not take water or anything to drink and after some time, thirst began to knock.

During this waiting time I admired all the pictures and paintings of Agathiyar which graced the top end of the waiting room walls. I silently communicated to him that I was not exactly sure how this reading process goes. I expressed my confusion as well as my delight at being there. I reminded him that I had come all the way from South Africa because of some gut feel and some energy vibration and that I was beginning to see question marks relative to receiving the answers I sought or having a reading. I then firmly asserted that I was not leaving there that day without an audience with him. 

My communiqué with the revered saint was put on pause when the lovely lady who cooks at the ashram brought out cups of a beverage for all the people in the waiting room. I am still unsure what the beverage was, it was like steaming hot tea; the most delicious hot drink that had the magnificence of having a refreshing and cooling effect. The welcome drink took care of thirst, hunger, heat etc. for the rest of the day. I marveled at how all our needs were being synchronistically accommodated. 

Minutes before it was our turn for the reading, my husband turned to me and conferred, that the trip was about me and my experiences and that we had come all the way because of my instincts to be there hence I should have the reading, and that whatever came out of the reading would still be applicable to us as a family. I listened in silence. I did not oppose his view either, but wondered if such a change could be requested. I looked up at the picture of Agathiyar and controlled the urge to go “YES”.

When it was our turn, my husband went in and explained his decision to Thavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Marthaji. I was readily invited to have the much awaited reading. I sat down beside Marthaji, in front of the highly respected Thavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. My emotions ran high. I did not know what to expect. Some knowledge of readings from internet postings was all I had, which did not serve me then. This was now the real thing. My mind began to run rampant about what was to come. I considered making a run for it but I could not find my legs.

Thavayogi Thangarasan Adigal smiled warmly, disarmingly, magnetically pulling my mind and thoughts back to a level of calm. He together with Marthaji began a casual conversation around my country of birth, the people, the culture, languages etc. quickly pulling my attention back to reality and a minimal level of composure. I could easily have a conversation around such areas of interest. I was still unaware of the magnitude with which the impending reading was to change my life, irreversibly.

The guru picked up the sacred instrument gifted to him by Agathiyar and began to read ….. Marthaji began to write….

The reading is in Tamil. Guruji reads a bit. This is followed by a disarming smile. He stops and enquires if I understand Tamil. I ashamedly confess that I do not. He comforted my anxiety saying that he would explain in English once the reading was done. He continued with the reading. There was that smile again. My confusion stepped up a notch. I beat myself emotionally for not being able to understand my ancestral language.

“You are kali from abroad”, he translates in English. (He probably recognized my restlessness and translated bits of the reading before the end).

I struggle to comprehend this, although he communicates this in English.

“Agathiyar says, he has been calling you from abroad”

My disorientation escalates, tears well up in my eyes and a mammoth lump takes hold of my throat.

“Agathiyar says he has been calling you from abroad for your future spiritual upliftment”.

Relief flooded over me. So there was a “calling”. I was responding to something, I thought hurriedly. We were barely two minutes into the reading when I received the biggest shock in my life. Actually this news could easily be the biggest shock in anyone’s life.

Agathiyar says “You are his daughter. He knows everything about you but you do not know about him”.

I am blindsided with guilt. This is true. I have only just discovered him, I thought sadly. I am unable to respond to this. I began to grapple with tears, confusion, disbelief, loss of words, incoherent thoughts and an undeniable sense that something mighty had brought me to Kallar.

The reading went on to reveal the following:

A bit about my work ....  previous birth .... Agathiyar confirmed in the reading it is time for me to reconnect with my spirituality ..... A bit about my good husband .... I must pray to his statue. And he will save me .... I have a good spiritual line ...... I still have some karma to work through hence I was provided some remedies, temples I had to visit, the Kalyana Theertham being one of them, the Agathiyar Falls and a few others.

I was left trembling, tearful, choked, disoriented and still confused. I struggled to comprehend any of it. Although I had heard it, I still had a desperate need for it to be true. I wondered if I was asleep. I needed time to digest it. I was relieved that my instincts and experiences were indeed that of a “calling”. I was expecting to be told of a “calling” on some level but I never dreamed of having known the dear saint in a previous life, moreover as an adopted daughter. It left me reeling in bewilderment, amazement and wonder. The revelation felt like an electrical reboot to my system. To say this was a “life changing” experience is perhaps an understatement. 

A few days into our journey, we made our way to Agathiyar Falls, the Kalyana Theertham and one of Agathiyar’s caves. Our driver approached the town, fetched his elderly uncle who lived in the area, and drove on towards one of Agathiyar’s mystical wonder abodes.

On arrival we noticed the clear sky, the large shade providing trees, the clean fresh air and the surrounding mountain terrain which were breathtaking. The water spilled over the fall with absolute glory, drenching and splashing devotees below with it’s energizing prowess. I wondered in disbelief how the drop of the fall and the speed at which the water gushed over, did not present any danger to the believers below. The devotees below were not only safe but were having the time of their lives. My husband showed me to the side of the fall for woman and went off to the opposite side for men, to have a massage under the falling water. I treaded over the rocks carefully, gingerly making my way towards the water. At first I stood at a far end where I was able to get drenched but little water splashed over me.

A lady passing me advised warmly, “Go and stand over there ma, you not getting the real water to fall over you”. Someone had noticed. I moved cautiously further on until I was directly under a full flow of water. (It is interesting to note here that Manju Harsha Vardhan of Bangalore was guided by a similar lady to another spot away from where she was taking a bath. Surprisingly she spoke Hindi to Manju, which she understood - Editor).

It felt invigorating, and …… quite safe. I closed my eyes and gave myself to the restorative, calming, karma releasing therapy I perceived it to be. The water flowed over with the gentleness and affection a parent gives a child. It felt as if someone standing at the top of the fall was tipping a vessel of healing energy over. It was mesmerizing. When I felt ready I stepped back a few steps from the fall, to behold it’s beauty. I absorbed it’s sheer magnificence. It filled my eyes with it’s majestic, divine beauty. I was in awe and grateful that I was given the opportunity to experience it’s blessings.

My thoughts moved to noticing a beautiful yellow butterfly flying towards me. I followed it’s movement with keen curiosity. It flew towards me, circled the top of my head and flew off downstream. I mentally communicated my gratitude and delight at being there and asked for guidance for the rest of our travels.

After a quick change of clothes we made our way up the long, welcoming steps (I am told 100 steps), to visit the Shiva Temple, Mother Krishnaveni’s home and the Kalyana Theertham. Midway up the steps, I began to feel muscles in my legs I did not know I had. The fierce India sun was grinning with all it’s might. Again, these were temperatures unfamiliar to us, but I was acutely aware that this too was part of the karmic penance to accept. I acknowledged the sun’s strength and accepted it’s challenge.

We arrived at the top after the arduous climb and paid our respects to all the deities. The Kalyana Theertham disseminated a celestial, powerful spiritual energy, which I had recently read. Being there radiated an energy within me on a deeply personal level. This view all around was breathtaking. There was the sweet sound of flowing water in the stream below the Theertham, the glorious mountain terrain extended far into the distance, the beauty of the surrounding trees and greenery, the brilliant blue sky on that day and the magnificent sun giving life and energizing everything below. Who would not want to live here? (The same thing Jnana Jyothiamma said too - Editor)

During this time, we realized we were alone. We were told one of Agathiyar’s caves was in that vicinity but we were unable to find it. After much searching we gave up on finding the cave and made our way back down the gruelling 100 steps. 

Back at the waterfall, all the way down the steps, we are informed by a Park official that the cave is “up there” however we would need to take a guide to go up with us. We were exhausted and silently wondered how we would manage another round up. The enthusiastic guide was ready to go convincing us that we had to see the footprints of Agathiyar in the cave.

We were back on the steps. I chose to ignore the sun’s effort to beat me again. I continued to focus on the reward, the cave. We arrived at the top once more, the guide moved towards the stream and pointing across the stream briefly explained the route. It sounded dangerous, scary, and almost impossible. We were already beyond exhaustion and close to dehydration. The driver backed away declaring that he would not be joining us. My husband and I looked at each other, our analytical minds racing to establish a logical, rational decision. It was not the time for a logical, rational decision. We had decided. We motioned the guide to continue and we followed.

We hopped over rocks bare footed which felt to the feet like a griddle. I imagined the sun laughing with glee in response to me accepting it’s challenge. The terrain became more mountainous and the rocks became more difficult to scale. The guide picked up his pace being familiar with this trek. The climb demanded the use of hands, feet, legs, knees, using one’s buttocks, stomach etc. sliding, climbing, jumping, crawling etc. After approximately 20 minutes on the trail, I could not feel my lower body. The perspiration melted off my face. I struggled to move forward. Each time we enquired, the guide responded that we were almost there. This was his response around five times.

As we continued, we caught sight of the driver. He had unbelievably changed his mind, and decided to follow us. He made good progress, got ahead of us and caught up with the guide. My husband was closely ahead of me. By this time he had already had a few slips, slides, cuts and bruises. I was taking strain. I began to question my decision to embark on the quest, which now appeared beyond my physical and mental capability. My thoughts became scrambled. I had started to lose focus on my goal, reaching the cave. I constantly thought about the return journey which hampered my mental stamina to move forward. I felt delirious. The guide saw me falling behind. He threaded backwards towards us. He got to my side and began to guide me through every step forward, literally. He told me where to step, where to slide, where to grab hold of a branch, where to jump, where to crawl etc. He encouraged and motivated me with every step I took forward. From this point on, all I could hear was his voice. I did not know it at the time but a divine intervention was in place to get me to the cave.

While this went on, the driver Ramesh miraculously finds a little packet with camphor and match in it somewhere on his path, in between rocks. Again we do not realize the significance of this extraordinary find until much later. A few meters away from the cave, the guide left, got into the cave and used the match to light up the camphor to illuminate the cave.

By this time, I had again slipped into despair. Both my feet were in a narrow ravine and both my hands clung onto a branch just above my head. I was in a physically safe place, where I unintentionally chose to break down. I cried hopelessly clinging onto the branch, although there was no risk of falling. I told my husband that I had given up and would not get any further. I asked him to go on without me. I had literally given up. I was disappointed and angry with myself for failing to make it to the cave. I felt weak and disempowered. I was pushed to a point of near collapse. My thinking and brain functioning appeared to have shut down. My thoughts were few and muddled. My helpless weeping went on.

My husband tried hopelessly to get me to let go of the tree and drag myself forward. He tried to take hold of my hands. I still clung to the tree. He asserted that the cave was really just a few meters away this time. I did not believe it. He tried desperately to get my attention. “You can do this”, he stressed. He tried to point out how close we were to the cave. He reminded me that this was just a physical hurdle, and I had succeeded with more complex hurdles before. I continued to weep.

My husband relented, turned around on the rock and asked me to get onto his back. He was going to carry me to the cave. I comprehended his intention and was astonished. I thought it was ridiculous. He was as exhausted and beat as I was but he was willing to carry me to the cave. I am unreservedly grateful to have a husband who would offer to do this for me.

I paused the weeping. A feeling of physical and mental strength rose within my body. I looked ahead and could see more rocks and greenery as opposed to doom. I took my husband’s hand and dragged myself forward. There were a few dragged steps, a few climbs before we joined the guide and the driver who were already at the cave.

I put my arms around the rock outside the cave placing my head on it. Perspiration melted off my face, which I have never experienced in my life. I was completely overwhelmed. I got to the cave but there was a force, a power, and an unquestionable energy, which carried me there. 

The cave was illuminated. The guide pointed to the footprints inside the cave. They were distinctly visible and of a small footed person. I was awe struck. I peered in and around the cave and could not believe being there. It felt like a fantasy. There was ash around the footprints. The guide pulled some of it towards him together with some dried flowers and handed it to me. Writing this today, some days later, I still wonder if I had really been there. Although I felt emotionally and physically exhausted I distinctly remember the feeling of bliss, peace, tranquillity, contentment, serenity …… a sensation of being far removed from the trials of the earthly plane and human birth…..

It was a taste of something, dreamlike, intangible….

It was hard to believe such a place could exist on earth. 

The journey back to the Theertham and to the bottom of the steps was astonishingly, “a hop, skip and a jump”. I needed absolutely no assistance and it took less than half the time than getting to the cave.

Going to the cave tested my mettle on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to burn, perspire, crawl, weep, struggle, suffer etc. to atone for my karma. It was by far the most invaluable lesson in my life, guided by the divine wisdom and compassion of some extraordinary souls who walked beside me selflessly on my journey of karmic penance. 

Before leaving I acknowledged the mighty sun for showing me some grace and relief without which I surely would not have succeeded.

Mrs Kogie contributed several more pieces to Siddha Heartbeat (http://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2015/06/a-devotees-journey-on-path-of-siddhas.html). 

These days, Mrs Kogie and I spend hours speaking about the Siddhas, just as Jnana Jothiamma and I used to back then when she was alive. She has now begun to write again. I am so happy that she is keeping with the tradition, where once Agathiyar had directed Tavayogi to Malaysia in 2004 to spread his teachings; Jnana Jothiamma shared all her experiences and internal transformation; Kogie has taken up the pen to share with us her experiences and understanding.

THE LONE RANGER

Knowing that I will fall for the very mention of his name, Agathiyar, some time back warned me to be careful with people who use his name when seeking advice, etc. In the beginning of my pursuit on the path after he came as a statue to my home, many strangers would knock on my door and ask to see him. Soon, they would turn up regularly and begin to open their can of worms. My wife and I, who were new to this faith, out of excitement, would go beyond the limits and start to advise them, eventually landing ourselves in trouble. I soon found out how some hide many facts and only reveal a little. With each solution we gave, they would open up a bit more, hence making the earlier solution irrelevant. Consulting with Tavayogi over the phone, he practically gave me a slap on the face asking why I interfere. Instead, he would ask me to show them to Agathiyar and have them cry their heart out to him. But Agathiyar later asked me to whom I shall turn to in the face of adversities if he were to shut his ears. I understood that while he wanted me to listen to others, Tavayogi taught me to stop reacting to their plight.

A devotee and friend hid some aspects of his problems and only shared that he was asked to carry out a Yagam after a Nadi reading. He asked me if I knew someone who could do the rituals. That was about the same time Agathiyar had told a host of a puja to henceforth take up the puja doing it themselves rather than depend on a third party, for it was apparent that they did not learn a thing in the 23 years that someone came to carry out the puja in their home for them. So I passed on the message to him too, telling him to take it up himself. Today, I learned that he had gone for a Nadi reading for a favor, and Agathiyar had proposed that the Nadi reader carry out a specific ritual or Yagam for him. The reader listed the cost. That is when he consulted me, asking if I knew someone who would do it. I saw through the whole divine game and laughed it off, as Agathiyar used to tell me. 

I was telling myself that I would rather sleep with the enemy than with someone I knew. An atheist is clear about his stand. He does not believe and would never come near. Now, my fear is about those who profess that they are on the path of the Siddhas but hide behind it. Honesty and discipline are the foundation of the path, besides faith and belief. Later, a total surrender is required before one can reach the limits of the path.

Some have asked why the all-knowing Agathiyar does not know our problems and why we have to tell him. Thus, they choose not to believe that he can manifest and speak through another. Even the police or the local council or government agencies only investigate and take action when a report is lodged. Then I realized that it is similar with the doctors, too. When everyone meets me, they are immediately drawn to the lump on my forehead and ask what it is. But none of the doctors I saw for other ailments asked about it nor addressed it. They are waiting for us to ask to look into it. Then, a series of tests would follow to determine what it is, beginning with a visual check. This is how we have to voice out to God too, though he knows everything.  Agathiyar says we must verbalize our problems and be heard so that the Prapanjam can help or heal us. In doing so, we set our ego aside, and the soul directs us to the larger soul of which we are a part. 

DETACHMENT

A reader and friend from South Africa I spoke to over the phone last night suggested if the temples could have been a manifestation of the mind of the Siddhas. I then added that the world must also be a manifestation of our minds, for no two people see the same thing or see eye to eye. In fact, science says that we originally see things inverted. This is then corrected to the likes of what we see. Some things are understood while others are not. If one understands, another doesn't. Things are not what they seem to be. Finally, we asked if all these were the mind play of Siva, the creator. This needs to be pondered over and understood further.

Agathiyar, in coming to save us from falling for the play of Maya, seems to hint and denounce everything as Maya. He asked me to distinguish between the real and unreal. Both he and Ramalinga Adigal have asked me countless times to read and reread Tavayogi's "Andamum Pindamum" regarding the 96 Tattvas and Bhota Ganangal. If we can detach ourselves from the mind and body stuff and its Tattvas, what remains then is the true self. This is where they want to bring us.  

So what are we then? We are the true pure awareness and bliss, Sat Chit Ananda. All else is a cover, a screen, a veil, a clothing that boils down to disillusion or Maya. What stands the test of time and space is, was, and will be is the true entity. This then is the Atma or soul. Thence, we understand why Agathiyar told me that we were together for crores of years. We came on a field trip to study, experience, and learn before returning to our innate state. In coming together to first hold hands and then sit in silence, we create the avenue for the souls to connect and recharge without interference from the ego that dictates and separates us. In doing nothing, we rest in the innate state of the soul. In remaining silent, we rest in the innate state of the soul. In remaining still, we are one with the innate state of the soul. 

TIME TO DECIDE

Just as the grandfather tells his grandson to write down "All the things that he saw, read, and experienced, and to compile all those stories", in the movie Aalan, I remember Tavayogi giving me a smile, after asking me what I was doing as he looked over his shoulder at me sitting beside him with my notepad and pen, jotting my entry each time we left a temple or a place of worship or adventure. I made it a point to document these adventures, which soon saw their way onto the net via the numerous websites I created and later as this blog. Later, I began to upload videos of our activities, too, and the director in me came to the forefront. I was interested in movies from a young age and wanted to make films but dropped the idea later, thinking of the magnitude of coordinating it all and bringing those thoughts into celluloid before my audience. I wanted to be a full-time artist, too, but I dropped the idea of making it a career. But all these came to fruition as I came to my gurus and traveled the path. Then Agathiyar threw in the challenge of writing my biography. 

Seeing the young lad who came into his care at his ashram attempting to write day and night, the guru approaches him, asking,

"What is the core belief of a spiritual person?"

"Detachment Guruji"

"When you are supposed to stay detached, why then do you seem so tense? There are only two things in this world. Being here and without being seen. You can't force one to be seen. It should be seamless. Only then can you remain unseen." Saying thus, he asks, 

"What's inside you, writing or spirituality?" 

"Both Guruji."

"You cannot sail in two ships at once. Your heart finds it difficult to commit yourself to God. But deep inside your heart keeps dreaming about writing. When all your thoughts revolve around writing, you cannot devote yourself to God. The basic law of the universe is living hand in hand. Similarly, in your life's journey, even if you lose many, someone may travel alongside you. Who knows? Nature is a treasure trove of mysteries. No one can predict what will happen next. That is the law of life. One's greatest love transforms into one's spirituality. In your case, writing is your spirituality. It is wonderful. If you want it to reach everyone, this is not the right place for you. Stay with people from that community."

Saying, "Decide what you want," he leaves him to think and decide.

I guess this is what the guru in the ashram where my father stayed back then, after leaving the family behind, must have told him too. For though I cannot remember him speaking about his guru or the ashram, he said that the guru sent him back after he served him several years, telling him that he had responsibilities toward the family that he needed to settle first, adding that if fate permits, they shall meet again. Heeding the advice, he came back but never went back. 

So too, I think Agathiyar, in accepting their decision, has shelved his plans for the devotees at AVM for now. Since the pandemic cooled off, both he and Lord Murugan had harped on the need to surrender to the cause and kept asking if they were ready. As no one was ready to take the plunge as yet, he let them be. It reminds me of the story where a Siddha approaches a man numerous times to go with him but is sent away when the man gives excuses not to come. Finally, not willing to wait another moment, the Siddha asks him to fetch him a tender coconut to quench his thirst. When he is holding on to the branch of the tree, the Siddha stops him and asked if he was holding on to the tree or vice versa. The man comes down and follows the Siddha without saying another word. 

ON BOOKS & WRITING

I had written in an earlier post that "I need not wait around to see the garden bloom. The feeling is great, having severed the last strands of ties with the garden or rather dropped ownership of it. I am not to hang around assessing the farm and the orchard and its products, weeding the plants, or pruning the fruit trees. I was here only to sow the seeds." I was contemplating ending my writing, too. Then, as I watched the movie Aalan over a couple of days, I came across some advice from a grandpa to his grandson asking him to read and, above and beyond them, to write.

"When we read, you become aware of the world, learn about nature's wonders and get a clearer understanding of our society and community. You must read. Don't just stop there. You have to write. Because reading will only be beneficial to you. But when you write, it will be beneficial to the whole world. All the things that you saw, read, and experienced, compile all those stories and write them down. Your writing will take you to the highest of highs."

Years later the grandson takes his advice, and with much encouragement from a mate close to him and a stranger-turned-friend, he gets someone to publish his writings in Chennai under the name of the stranger who left a lasting impact in his life. Later turning up again before his guru in Varanasi, he informs the latter of having fulfilled his and his grandfather's desire to see him write. The guru, surprised that he had no copy of his own writing and coming to know that he had written under another name, tells him that, "A sage does not need an address, but the author of the book is its face. His writing is his identity. How could you not see what you have created?"

Now, is this a message for me, too? 

Moments ago, a reader writes in.

"You told me many times to write, but I had other professional constraints. You eventually wrote that he wanted others to take up his work and share.  You and father worked tirelessly, unselfishly for years to grow and mentor us all. I have taken. I bow down. Thank you both. I will take it up, aiya. I will begin his work. I will write. There is only 1 problem, aiya...I  know nothing."

We receive the answer to this again from the movie when a fan of his asked him from where he received those experiences to write the book, he replies that "When you travel with nature, it all comes together."

 

Paramahansa Yogananda wrote his story and that of his gurus and opened up a new chapter in my life too, introducing me, who only knew the deities in the temples, to Godmen and gurus. So have many books and their authors become Upagurus to us. Where do you supposed it all came from?

MY STORY

When I was transferred from a coastal town to the city in 1988, I had no choice but to frequent a food stall opposite my office building for my vegetarian meals. A group comprising of people from all walks of life would gather daily to review the stories carried in the local daily, often passing negative remarks. Five years later, after I returned from another posting, they were still at it. I walked up to them and asked if they had not changed in those years and if they had nothing better to talk about. They remained silent. Some time back, an elderly man walked up to my car following the foreman who came over to look at it. He continued his adverse remarks and tried to get me to show support for his negative views on it. I stopped him from talking further and asked him to talk about his family instead. He had nothing to say. Weeks ago, as I sent my car for a wash, a 48-year-old man who sent his car for a wash too walks up to me and opens up about things being not right, spoiling my beautiful morning. I stopped him in his tracks. I told him to change, and the world would change. He left. If things were truly bad and in shambles, we would not have nationalities from Myanmar, Pakistan, India, Indonesia, Bangladesh, the Middle East and Nepal take up personal loans or mortgage their properties to buy their way and arrive to work on our shores. Then, some pensioners are disappointed with the occasional small pay hikes. They fail to understand that pensions are a gift to them for life. Be grateful. 

Everybody seems to paint a bleak picture of their world when, in truth, it all lies in our individual perception. You can choose to enjoy the rain and sun or complain. So is it with life. Malaysians have to learn to love, cherish, and be grateful for what we have in our hands. It is a beautiful nation full of resources and opportunity. Agathiyar calls it Sukra Bumi, the land of milk and honey overflowing with wealth and prosperity. 

For a change, stop complaining but instead begin to talk about the good things that life has given us. Nature and life are not obligated to give us treasures. But when opportunities arise, seize them and make some good of it. Learn to look at the little gifts and promises that come our way. 

I have had a very good life till now as  I step into my 66th year this September. Born into a family of nine children, my parents lost two boys when they were a toddler and infant respectively. When I had the same signs of diarrhea and purging that took their lives away, they brought me to a Chinese medium who was then our neighbor. I survived after he asked that they give me in adoption to the gods. I had come to understand that I had come under the shadows of Bhogar and the Siddhas back then. I sought him for the next 13 years before I was forced to go to the hospital for a jab when a dog bit me. 

My father, from the Chettiar clan, was born in Kilselvalpatti, Sivagangai, Tamil Nadu. He and his brother came over to then Malaya. While my father continued the family business of money lending, his younger brother started a driving school in Taiping, Perak. My mother was born and raised here. They married, and she took on the role of a housewife. My parents sent me and all my siblings to school. Life was simple and peaceful. People took care of each other. The neighbor kept an eye on other children. We spent most of our time outdoors, with traditional games that were seasonal to keep us amused for hours. We flew kites, played marbles, and played top and football. Those were fun days for us kids, though our parents struggled to keep the boat afloat. Soon, my elder siblings began to help out with the home expenditures when they each got a job. 

I remember the time my schoolmate and I, both 16 years old, who went jogging, were forcefully lifted off the ground onto a Land Rover, and kicked off the aerodrome field for intruding onto the runway and apparently preventing it a Caribou plane laden with cargo from landing.

If I had been kicked out of the airfield back then, I never imagined that I would return to help build the facilities for the arm forces later. Neither did I know that I would be hitching a ride on a CN transport aircraft, a helicopter, and a war ship after my career kickstarted as a civilian with the military. 

The doors opened up, facilitating and fulfilling all my needs. As I was a Government scholar back then in college, I got a job in the public sector in 1980 that I stayed on for some 36 lovely years before I opted for early retirement in 2016. I enjoyed my career. I was looked after very well. People had always been good to me.  Though my core business was civil engineering, I am grateful to the department for providing access to Information Technology when it was in its infancy, where I picked up the skill to do presentations, which has helped me today to blog and upload videos on my channel.

My guess that my wife was chosen for me when some fifteen girls rejected me, was right when Agathiyar in the Nadi reading for my daughter tells us that my children and wife had been a family in previous births too, and my daughter had asked for this relationship to continue in this birth too. He also added that she was the reason I came to his path. In 2005, Agathiyar sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to our shores, where I met up with him after learning that he was the one who had solicited funds to build a temple for Agathiyar in a pamphlet passed on to me by the Nadi reader in 2002. 

Before that, Agathiyar sent me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai on the pretext of casting my daughter's horoscope which was sugested by my wife as I was ready to get into the cab that was waiting for me to send me to the airport to catch my maiden flight to India to fulfil the remedies that Agathiyar listed out in my Nadi. 

I had these two wonderful gurus who carved and molded me. Like people, Agathiyar, the Siddhas, and all the gods, goddesses, and deities in the Hindu pantheon of Gods were always there in my times of need. What else can a man want further? My life was, is, and shall be in their good hands in the days to come too.

Our home too that fell into my lap, turned out to become Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in the years to come. Now, as I am kept indoors, often alone and asked to observe silence, what accompanies me are these wonderful memories. Then the skies turn grey, and I shudder with fear as I recount the many mistakes I made that could have jeopardised or turned my life around.  Miraculously I was saved in all those crucial moments by a divine hand. Agathiyar later told me that as I had needed those experiences too, he threw them into my path and had me trip and fall into the labyrinth. I am who I am today because the divine looked over my shoulder throughout my life. I am deeply grateful to both people and the divine for looking after me. How can I thank them all? I guess by listening to them and following their dictates. And so did Agathiyar asked me to write about my experiences in my blog, first the external journeys and later the internal transformation. Now, he wants each devotee to share their experiences as well each time we gather. This is where he shows me those who comply and those who choose to defend their stand in not sharing. Finally, he too let it be. I, too, shall take heed and let it be, stepping aside from my previously purposed role as a Spiritual Catalyst - one who does not aim to become a leader but who wishes to cause others to question and find answers within themselves. 

TIME TO EXIT

The last thread that held me back has been severed, and I am free to soar the skies like a free bird. What I thought was my purpose here has held me back all this time. Now, having completed what I came for, I need not wait around to see the garden bloom. The feeling is great, having severed the last strands of ties with the garden or rather dropped ownership of it. I am not to hang around assessing the farm and the orchard and its products, weeding the plants, or pruning the fruit trees. I was here only to sow the seeds. 

I have to move on. Only now my true journey begins. The spiritual catalyst must now allow the universal energy to work on him. Now I am relieved of the role of a Jeevanmukta and have to take on another journey and another role. It is said that at the end of the journey, we have to face three choices. Having climbed up the wall, one has the choice of either taking the plunge and jumping into the other realm without telling anyone, taking a moment to call out to the others and share the sound and sights before plunging, or deciding to return to share the experiences. I have done the latter two. Now is the moment to plunge and swim in the ambrosia for good. The bond can never be snapped if I do not take the plunge now. We have to lose something to gain another. We cannot have the best of both worlds.

DO NOT PICK UP PASSENGERS

The readership of this blog has reached a all new high this week. I take this opportunity to thank all readers. As A.R. Rahman often says all praises go to the Almighthy, we are only but a tool in his hands.

In bringing us together if it appears that Agathiyar is teaching others, I came to find out yesterday while speaking to Mahindren the truth of the matter that is in actuality the teachings are for me. Others are just props. In interacting with them there is a teaching for me. I am supposed to continue sailing the seas after picking up these experiences. I am not supposed to pick up these passengers. It shall bring the vessel to sink under their weight. I shall heed this sound advice henceforth.  

While having breakfast this morning with the family at a food stall an armless man walked up to us selling some goods for a living. Addressing himself as a Shiv Adiyaar he told me that as it was Shivarathri he would love to spend the day at a Shiva temple but as he needs to feed his family he was forced to make the daily rounds. This came as a surprise message to me.

I plan to go ahead with the family conducting the Homam to commemorate and most importantly keep us awake throughout the night as today is the night for Lord Shiva, Shivarathri, if he wills.  

TAKING A GOOD WALK

I asked if I could withstand the test of transformation yet to come in the last post. Even if I fail, I am grateful to Agathiyar for even considering allowing me to attempt to reach this state. As Tavayogi says we shall attempt and come back to continue from where we fail if we do fail, and just as Supramania Swami said we shall work on polishing this vessel to accommodate the divine and his energy, or rather work on rubbing off the moss that we have collected which has prevented us from seeing the truth of who we are and our full potential, I shall come back too. A handful of souls have been following my journey and are keen to see me attain the goals set by Agathiyar. I am grateful to them too. If one man succeeds it is a major step for humanity and shall boost the spirits of others to follow too.

As Annie Besant wrote one has to prepare both the brain and body well ahead before engaging in Yoga, Agathiyar, Patanjali, Kagabunjandar, and Bhrigu guided me through the Aasi Nadi readings beginning in 2005, on diets to prepare my body to receive Tavayogi's Yogic practice in 2007. The latter set the ball rolling by giving me what Agathiyar calls a treasure in the form of certain Yogic Asanas and Pranayama techniques. Even before I received them, Agathiyar mysteriously passed on a Vasudeva mantra in 2001, that I came to learn later was supposed to break the existing knots within the body. It was only after I was confronted by the energies beginning in 2010 that arose as a result of these practices, that I was made aware of the extent and potential of these practices and diets. Agathiyar came to purge my body of toxins accumulated over the years. In 2022 he had given me a taste of how the body would lie dead upon a pyre or in a coffin. He gave me insights into the workings of the Kundalini that had caused all the above to take place which according to Patanjali was activated way back in 2007. 

I had written in a post dated 21 August 2021 that,

"If Agathiyar Kuzhambu was to be taken six months once, Agathiyar set me on another regime of preparing another concoction from a recipe given by him, taking it daily. I took it for some time. Soon the three dosas were expelled without the need to consume these preparations. Kapha was expelled in the morning hours, Vata during the day, and Pitha as I retired to bed. Then its frequency doubled to two cycles of each a day at particular hours. These days the body expels them as and when they begin to accumulate. Besides that the body aches at times before it recedes just as it comes on. As Agathiyar forewarned me, my body has begun to stink."

This cycle has begun again. A couple of days ago the three Dosas began to be expelled as before. Besides that I had been enduring bodily aches for several months now. The pain seemed to have shifted to my right buttock but I took it in my stride as Agathiyar had prepared me mentally in the past when I had acute lower back pain, explaining that even pain was blissful. My urine and sweat stinks. But though these adversities might have stopped me in my tracks before, I was determined to fight them by continuing with my daily walks. A good walk or hike does do us some good. I visited Wukong today with my family.

Agathiyar comes to tell me now that as the Kundalini had progressed further there was a need to consume certain herbs to strengthen the body. With Sivarathri enveloping us tomorrow evening, I wonder if I could go ahead with a preplanned schedule of Homam and Abhisegam at AVM? It is all his will and doing. I have begun to take things in my stride surrendering to Agathiyar and the energy as he says it shall do its work. 

BELIEF & FAITH

When Agathiyar arranges for me to get the necessary herbal preparations to counter the bodily and internal changes that are to take place further within me, it reminded me of the days when he came to the assistance of Jnana Jothiamma back then beginning from 2011 when she first visited Kallar Ashram and met Tavayogi after reading my earlier websites. Initiating her personally Agathiyar took her hand on several pilgrimages and eventually had her locked up, staying in solitude in a house in a high-rise apartment in Chennai, though he had Siddhas drop by and knock on her door delivering herbal preparations to consume as he worked on her body too. Agathiyar does work in mysterious ways. It brings fond memories of my almost daily conversations with her through Skype. Jnana Jothiamma and I came to learn later that a pure diet and body are a prerequisite to the much-desired transformation that the Siddhas look forward to in seekers. Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", the Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, writes,

"You must begin to purify the body before you attempt to practice any yoga worthy of the name. For real yoga is as dangerous to an impure and undisciplined body as a match to a cask of gunpowder."

"Here we see a consciousness that shapes bodies according to its needs, gradually refining them and bringing them under the control of the higher." 

"The brain has to be changed, refined, improved, its connecting links fashioned and manufactured for the purposes of the expression of the higher consciousness." 

"Here, in the jungle, they meditated making the brain tense and refined by the concentration of the mind, and restraint of lower faculties, fixed in rapt attention on the higher, with the consciousness working from above playing on the physical brain and tuning it to respond safely to the higher vibrations. Then it strove to draw the lower upwards (as Tavayogi says of our efforts that are only till the first two initial stages, Muladhara and Svadisthana) until it answered no longer to the stimuli of the outer world. This is a state of yoga - complete withdrawal of the consciousness from the Indriyas."

"Now making the mind steady, holding quiet the powers of the mind, the mind ceases to vibrate, and it becomes still - able to answer the vibrations coming from above."

 She writes in "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002, 

"... inasmuch as the body is an instrument we have to use, a certain treatment of the body is necessary so that we may turn our footsteps in the direction of the Path. The body alone will never take us to the heights we aspire to, yet to neglect it will make it impossible for us to attempt those heights at all. ... The body needs to be refined, to be improved, to be moulded into such a form and made of such constituents as may best fit it to be the instrument on the physical plane for man's highest purposes."

"... the purification of the dense body then, consists in a process of deliberate selection of the particles permitted to compose it; the man will take into it the way of food the purest constituents he can obtain, rejecting the impure and the gross."

For those intending to do so, she allays the fear and regret at having sent in gross impure food, telling us that, 

"... by natural change the particles built into it in the days of his careless living will gradually pass away, at least within seven years - although the process may be considerably hastened."

She asks us to look towards the East for answers to "how this danger has been understood and guarded against and avoided."

Agathiyar in consoling Jnana Jothiamma and asking her to bear the pain and suffering told her that the cleansing had to be expedited and that her meat intake of the past sixty years that went on to compose her body had to be expelled out. She had to go through a grueling cleansing process where for instance she vomited 32 times in a day. He also told her that one had to shed seven layers of skin too. One wonders if this is the reason the Saints went into hiding, some as many as twelve years before reappearing in society, having undergone a massive transformation. It is said that their bodies would undergo severe changes and would be hideous to look at during this period of transformation, thus to avoid being ridiculed by society they stayed away. She told me that I would not possibly endure the process. 

I sense that it is my turn to take on the challenges in store. I had approached Tavayogi during his first visit in 2005 asking to see him become "Light" just like Ramalinga Adigal and the Siddhas before him. But he very humbly told me that he had missed the boat as his age then was 69. But interestingly Siddha Dhanvanthri came to us and revealed that Tavayogi had attained the state of Light. Agathiyar later told us that he was doing his job in their realm and as such Agathiyar had to personally come to guide us these days. Lord Muruga too had to postpone sharing the art of attaining "Jothi" with Agathiyar though he was not known back then by the name, in return for the latter's courtesy, kindness, and help in providing food and shelter to the Lord who was known back then as Supramaniar so that he could carry on his austerities, Tapas and Tavam without any hindrance, just because Agathiyar was above sixty in age. He promised to come back for him in another birth and delivered as promised. Agathiyar too became Jothi like Supramaniar. Since Tavayogi told me he had missed the boat, I had my hopes on Jnana Jothiamma when she went through the bodily transformations. But Agathiyar in later years after her demise told me that as her body could not cope with the drastic changes her soul desired to give up. Will I withstand the test, now since the ball is in my court? 

This is how the Siddhas work mysteriously in this realm of ours that has but only a thin veil separating both worlds. I can vouch for this as I had stepped into a portal in Palani during my very first visit in 2003 though I did not know it then. Only when I revisited Palani again in 2005, did I realize that I had walked into a portal back then. This was further confirmed on my last visit to Palani in 2016.

The Siddhas surely work in mysterious ways. All that is required of us is to believe and have faith in them.

FULFILLING AGATHIYAR'S WISH

A concerned reader and friend from South Africa who follows this blog has been enquiring about my health for some time now. As we spoke over the phone last night, I told her that the acute pain I had in the years beginning in 2010 and 2012 and that reappeared again in 2016 and 2018 is being felt in my back but to a lesser intensity. But when I faced it the very first time I was worried sick if it could be a health issue as I was in my sixties. But the Siddha practitioners and Allopathic physicians too struck out any possible issue. In September of 2019, Agathiyar came in the Nadi reading to clear the air and revealed that it was due to the uprising of once dormant energy activated by my Yogic practices learned from Tavayogi in 2007. He brushed the pain aside telling me that pain itself was bliss. This time, I have learned to accept and live with it. It is indeed blissful as Agathiyar said. Under every pain, discomfort, misery, and suffering lies a subtle state of bliss.

Just a couple of days ago, foreseeing another bout of cleansing in the making Agathiyar mooted a devotee to call me and interrupted our telephone conversation. He revealed that I shall foresee further bodily changes taking place and called me to contact the Pulippani Siddhar Peedham in Palani, telling me that I should begin to take certain herbal preparations beginning now. Since my search and association with associations had stopped many years back after coming to Agathiyar and my fellowship to a tutor and teacher ended with Tavayogi's demise, I voiced my reluctance to begin one yet again, Agathiyar told me that though he was with me certain things had to be done through people. I consented. Though I had stepped into the ashram on one of my pilgrimages to Palani, not knowing anyone in the said Peedham, I looked up on the internet and came across a cell number. I called and introduced myself asking to whom I was speaking. He replied that he was a Siddha doctor. What do you know? I dialed the right number and the right person answered. As he agreed to prepare the preparation, the question arose as to who was to pick up the package as I had no intention to travel. Calling up some friends, a friend, and Siddha practitioner told me that he was leaving for India on 3 March and would do so. What can I ask for further? Agathiyar closed the deal beautifully. What an amazing journey it has been. Agathiyar has never failed to amaze me. 

If he had told me of the further changes about to take place in the morning, I went through it in the evening and throughout the night into the next day. The purging of excess Vata (Wind), Kapha (Phlegm), and Pitta (Bile) came on followed by dizziness even as I lay my head down and nausea. But it all cleared in the evening and I am back to my normal self. Why would I want to share these petty things with readers? Am I blowing my own horn? Am I seeking recognition or attention? Am I seeking fame and fortune? I for one was a very timid person since a child keeping to myself and my thoughts. But it all changed after Tavayogi nudged me to take the center stage and speak about the Siddhas whom I hardly knew back then in 2005, and Agathiyar in subsequent Nadi readings asked me to write. This blog has become the voice of Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) over the years. He in 2022 asked me to stop singing his praise and instead share the transformation and changes taking place within. I guess that is my purpose here. 

Someone wrote in saying, "Whether or not someone shares their experiences, if Prabanjam (the universe) wills it, the true seeker will receive all the knowledge they need. In my view, it is our ego (ahangaram) that makes us believe traditions continue because of us, when in reality, they exist beyond individual effort." I guess that is life. You win some (friends) and you lose some.

ABOUT SHARING OUR EXPERIENCES

When I was posted back to the HQ after some 8 years working at a Naval base in a coastal town, I came across a group at the food stall that I frequented, as I had no other choice for my vegetarian meals, who would spread out the local daily newspaper and pass remarks, mostly negative, on what was printed each day. When I returned after some 5 years working at an Air Force base, the same group, minus some who had passed on and had new recruits now, were still gazing at the daily and passing comments. It seemed as if time had frozen. I walked up to them and asked if they never changed in the five years I was gone. I told them to quit coffee shop talk and stand for election and bring the changes they spoke about through parliament and walked away. Some time back a man who was bitterly talking about current issues to the foreman followed him as he moved over to attend to my car. He began to drag me into his conversation too. I asked him to stop. I told him that he would have vomited what he did then at breakfast, the night before, the day before, and in all the months and years. I asked him to speak about his family and experiences instead. He remained silent. There was nothing to say. We are all carrying excess baggage and selling our outdated wares to others day in and out. The wise on the other hand began to document their unique experiences for the benefit of others who come along. We have so many autobiographies and biographies of prominent figures who changed the world. There are many life-changing books written by authors sharing their experiences. 

I remember in the days of my search back then when I was called to the path through a Nadi reading, where every holy man or learned man would swear that the answers were with them but would refuse to divulge them keeping them close to their hearts and bringing them to their graves, it frustrated me. One wonders if they ever knew. Then came along Tavayogi in 2005 who set me walking the path along with him. He got me to speak about the Siddhas whom I barely knew as a new kid on the block back then in 2007. Agathiyar since then has asked me to share my internal transformation with my readers. If Ramalinga Adigal did not share his experiences we would not have the Arutpa in our hands today. So is it with the other saints. If the Nayanmars did not share their experiences we would not have the Thevaram and Thiruvasagam in our hands today. If the Rishis did not share the secrets we would not have the Vedas today. Supramania Swami told me he even has to leave behind the merits gained from his 40 years of austerities, Tavam, and Tapas. I was blessed to receive them. Don't keep your knowledge and experiences with you and bring them to your grave. Let someone benefit from it. Life is all about sharing. Right from the sharing of chromosomes and DNA to sharing food, love, and compassion, one has to give. It is because Agathiyar gave us his breath that we are still standing. Ask all those in whom Agathiyar blew and breathed his breath and revived them. The least we could give is to share whatever joy we have been blessed with. As a reader and devotee said, this shall initiate the search for another to know more and experience what was shared, I take this moment to thank all those who had shared their experiences with us in the past. They could have initiated another to follow in their footsteps or take the first step towards bigger things. It sure did change mine. A book that I read in 1977 while in college that taught me to say "No", Yogananda Paramahansa's "An Autobiography of a Yogi" which introduced me to Godmen in 1994, and the Nadi written by the Siddhas that I read in 2002 changed my life 360 degrees.

Imagine if God did not share his wealth. Ramalinga Adigal lists all that God has shared with him. Each time we come together Agathiyar has asked us to share our experiences and hold a healthy debate. He tells us that even the Siddhas when they come together shared their findings and held debates. Those who frequent AVM will know. It is from the churning of the ocean that you get the Amirtam, Amrita, nectar, or elixir. I believe this blog would not have such a good following if it was flawed in its contents. Thank you readers. 

Readership the past week

KUNDALINI & APPRECIATION

MANTRAS

MAYA

WALKING THE PATH

Just as Tavayogi surprised me pushing me to speak about the Siddhas when he officiated an affiliate of his Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Banting many years back when he began frequenting Malaysia and when I was a new kid on the block just beginning to take a step on the Siddha path, in recent times Agathiyar has pushed me to speak about the changes taking place within currently to those gathered at the many puja venues. However, to arrive at these changes, one has to leave the previous phases and practices and glide into the next. So I began to address the path of Sariyai which was introduced to us by our parents and added that sadly we stop at this stage, just as they did, not progressing further. For some who had questions that prompted them to seek answers, they went in search of masters and gurus or the latter came by in their lives. But sadly they too stopped short of carrying out the Kriya practices given. Those who furthered the life-changing Yoga practices soon begin to see changes within them. Soon these changes happen without any effort on our part. Eventually, after all the activities and effort, one is asked to bring it all to a halt and remain still, quiet and silent. This is the goal of traveling the path. So I had to clarify that one has to evolve into a beautiful butterfly and never forever remain in the comfort and safety of the cocoon or practices and rituals given. For us to arrive at the goal we have to travel the path, picking up the tools and methods and using and putting them into practice before willingly laying them down too. My short speech was acknowledged by Lord Murugan who came and pointed them out to the devotees gathered on Agathiyar Jayanthi at AVM. In asking them to speak about their journey and experiences he charted the goal for them. 

AGATHIYAR LOBAMA WEDDING & JAYANTHI VIZHA

AGATHIYAR AND LOBAMA'S WEDDING

What a memorable day it has been today. It all started with Sankar Aiya messaging me that he would be conducting the wedding for Agathiyar and Lobama today. (Refer last post). I then thought if I should do it for Agathiyar too as he is with Lobama at AVM since last year. After ending his spree visiting the homes of several of his devotees, he had picked up Lobama or rather entered the hearts of a devotee couple and moved them to purchase a bronze statue of Lobama to keep him company. If Bhogar surprised us coming through a devotee, and performing the homam back then whence the host decided to conduct a puja, today Bhogar came again and went on further to conduct Agathiyar's wedding. Words cannot describe those moments. One needs to be present. We wonder what shall take place tomorrow as we celebrate Agathiyar's annual puja celebration.

AGATHIYAR - LOBAMA'S WEDDING

If Tavayogi introduced me to carrying out the Homam, a smaller version of the Yagam in my home to commemorate the annual Jayanthi celebrations simultaneously while he carried it out in his Kallar ashram grounds beginning in 2004, Agathiyar came in a Nadi reading later to specify the exact time of his birth. That's 27 1/2 Naaligai into the Ahilyam star. Since then, I have adjusted the timings of my home puja or prayers accordingly. Then after some years, in 2018 he switched the Jayanthi celebrations for us at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) to Thai Pusam Day. Since then, I have adjusted the timings of my home puja or prayers accordingly again. As we look forward to carrying it out on Tuesday, 11 February, Sankar Aiya from the Agathiyar Sannadhi at the Adi Kumbeswarar Temple, Kumbakonam threw in a surprise message a couple of days ago. He tells me that he will be conducting the wedding for Agathiyar and Lobama at Sri Akilandeswari Ambal Sametha Sri Agastheeswarar Temple in Karuvalarcheri Road, Kumbakonama a day earlier on 10 February. That very instant I asked myself if I should carry out the wedding ceremony at AVM too since Agathiyar has been joined by Lobama. 

I had posted news of the wedding taking place at the home of a couple who had hosted Agathiyar last year and decided to get him a bride in bronze too at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2024/01/agathiyar-lobama-wedding.html and https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2024/01/the-big-day.html

I asked myself since he had carried out my 60th wedding last Guru Purnima, should I not carry out his wedding celebration too? Wanting to enquire further, speaking to Sankar Aiya he surprised me by asking the same. It brought tears to my eyes. I took it as Agathiyar's wish and proceeded to make arrangements to carry out his wedding. 

We came to know from Agathiyar in a Nadi reading for us some years back, that after engaging in years of Tapas and austerities, and having accomplished them sucessfully arriving at the state of a Siddha, as Agathiyar stood before Lord Siva thinking that he had completed all of Lord Siva's asking, the Lord smiled and told him that there was one last outstanding task and experience he had to gain. Lord Siva told him that he was to marry and found him a life partner too. 

Coming to present times, Sankar Aiya tells me that Agathiyar, just as he had revealed the exact time of his birth to me in my Nadi reding, in a Nadi reading for a devotee some 12 years back, revealed that his marriaged was solemized during Punar Poosam at the above temple before Lord Siva. Hence we now know both the story and reason behind Agathiyar's wedding being held there.