As Agathiyar's annual fest or Aandhu Vizha that Agathiyar instructed us to carry out is just around the corner, I realized the reason he had us go within in 2019 after having brought us to his Siddha path in 2002 and elevating us from the path of Sariyai, by introducing us to Kriyai and reviving Yoga later. Today Agathiyar giving us the many sweet and bitter experiences, groomed us bringing us to the state of a Gnanam.
Recently calling Mahin over to my home and sharing my thoughts about the need to leave behind something, Mahin interrupted asking me what did Bhagawan Ramana leave behind. Indeed he left nothing material behind but instead gave us wisdom-rich teachings that have been simplified by his disciple Sadhu Om in these songs. Today we truly understand the teachings of Bhagawan Ramana that have been beautifully expounded in the many songs of his disciple Sadhu Om beautifully set to music and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy at https://www.youtube.com/@SriramParthasarathyChannel . Each verse of the Sadhu resonates with the experiences we were gifted to uplift the Atma to stand aloof and watch. Indeed his songs are full of Gnanam.
When Agathiyar came around asking each of us gathered around him during our regular puja, what he/she wanted, I never expected him to ask me too for I had nothing further to ask, seek, sought, or hold on to since he has given me everything a man needs in life. But yet he waited patiently on me. My brain went into high gear as I tried to come up with something. Finally, I told him I wanted to be born again and again and serve him as I did now. Just as Tavayogi would throw another question, he surprised me by asking if that was what I wanted. I knew that second that my asking was not right in his eyes. There was a long pause and moment of silence. Soon he moved on to other matters.
Later speaking to Mahin over the phone regarding this I told him maybe we should be asking for Gnanam as Tavayogi always told us reminding us to step out of Bakthi or devotion and temple worship. The next time he came around Agathiyar surprised me by telling me that I had asked for Gnanam. What! did he eavesdrop on my conversation with Mahin I asked myself. He went on to tell me that Gnanam was not something that he offered on a plate. Instead, that has to be acquired through experience.
"நீ என்னிடம் கேட்டது ஞானம். ஞானம் என்பது நான் தருவதல்ல. நீ கற்பது. ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது."
Agathiyar says of Gnanam, "Gnanam is not gifted but has to be earned and experienced. When one goes within, as the journey brings upon subtle experiences these shall translate into and become Gnanam. It defers to each person. As such I cannot possibly define it."
Ramalinga Adigal comes to affirm the same telling me it needs effort. The effort placed in going within brings new experiences quite unlike what we have seen in our daily lives. He charts the journey beautifully by posing several questions to us.
"உடல் கூறு தத்துவங்களைத் தெரிந்துகொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்துகொண்டாயா? பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணருகிறாயா? உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா?"
An understanding of the structure of the body is a prerequisite to an understanding of the inner journey The subtle experiences that result from bodily changes bring a new understanding of the inner journey. Becoming aware of the breath and its movement brings us to merge with the breath. Remaining in this state of bliss (இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டுவா) we finally are ablaze in effulgence (உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்).
Indeed if Gnanam could be translated as wisdom, experience gives us the wisdom to stay clear of many attractions and distractions lined up along the path. Experience tells us to move cautiously, work diligently, giving heart and soul to the task at hand so that we do not need to revisit these chores again to correct the flaws or put the missing pieces together. Experience teaches us to exhaust all our desires and wipe the slate clean returning to his kingdom in a pure and unadulterated form. This here and now is where we do all our laundry and put on fresh and clean clothes before having an audience with him when he calls us up.
While wikipedia.org defines Gnanam as "Knowledge inseparable from the total experience of reality, especially a total or divine reality (Brahman), "Mother" explains it further, sharing her Gnanam.
Gnanam is the wisdom of the wise. Their experience gained on the path toward spiritual attainment becomes the essence and wisdom that is showered and given to seekers. The experience of the Gnanis, Yogis, Rishis, Munis, and Siddhas has come to us as wisdom. Their wisdom went into the scriptures. Their experiments become wisdom for ours. Their trials and errors in perfecting procedures and techniques became wisdom to beginners. All the research that went towards the discovery and understanding of life and its purpose and the various paths leading back to the source, has come to us as Gnanam.
In simple terms, Gnana is the fruit of the guru's experience that the student partakes in. All the Anubhuthis, the Tiruarutpa, the Thevaram, and the Siddha songs are experiences of highly evolved souls that become Gnanam for us who would choose to venture on the path. What we consider as works of Gnanam or wisdom is in actual fact experiences of our saints. As Manickavasagar sings in the Sivapuranam, we take numerous births to gather the experience, evolving from the lowest to the highest of creation, Pon Govindasamy in his "Vallalaarum Brahma Gnana Sangamum", Bharath Book Bureau, Chennai, draws our attention to the same.
அணுக்களாகயிருந்த ஆன்மாக்கள், பூதவர்க்கங்களாக உருவெடுத்து பின் தாது வர்க்களாகமாக மாறி, பின் தாவர வர்கத்தையடைந்து, பின் விலங்கு வர்க்கத்தில் புகுந்து, பின் மானிட வர்க்கத்தில் ஜனனம் எடுத்து, இறுதியில் ஜீவன் முக்தர் வர்க்கத்தில் பரிபூரண தசையையடைகின்றன.
Tavayogi has many definitions of Gnanam.
பிறப்பின் தொடக்கத்தைப் பிடித்து முடிவையும் அறிவதே ஞானம். ஆதி அந்தக் குறி தெரிவதுதான் ஞானம். ஞானம் அடைதல் என்றால் அறிவின் தெளிந்த நிலை. ஞாலத்தை அறிதல் ஞானம். உயிரானது பெரும் உண்மைத் தெளிவுதான் அறிவு அல்லது ஞானம். ஆத்ம அறிவின் தெளிவே ஞானம். ஞானமே கடவுள்.
In short, experience is wisdom. We are allowed to make mistakes, "Mother," says. The mistakes are a lesson for us but become Gnanam for others. Others learn from our mistakes. As the soul is on a journey of learning and gaining the experiences that it seeks, each birth then is a journey toward Gnanam. The whole purpose of taking birth then is to learn and experience and assimilate all the experiences and attain Gnanam. Finally, we will settle for the road back to our father's kingdom after having exhausted and seen all that needs to be seen. All births tuned towards spirituality are Gnana Pirappu. Exhausting all our desires or dropping them, placing concerted effort in removing the three impurities - Aanavam, Kanma, and Mayai with the aid and guidance of the guru, we become pure in nature and one with Erai. Having come through the cycles of birth and rebirth, we return to our father's kingdom finally in his image and nature.
I now understand why Ramalinga Adigal and later Agathiyar left me to fend for myself by not interfering when I pleaded for peace, silence, and sound sleep, all of which I had lost after the arrival of noisy neighbors. Just at that very moment when Agathiyar had me go within asking me to sleep in his puja room, the neighbors started to create a din throughout the day and night till the morning hours of dawn. I lost my peace, quiet, and sleep. The stench of animal poo that they reared added to my troubles. But it was all his play. Ramalinga Adigal told me that these would help bring me to the state of Gnanam. Agathiyar said that if I was to stay in the jungles away from people there would be many other forms of disturbances or Puluruvi as he terms it. They asked to bear with it. Mataji down the lane had once told me about the need to acquire Sagiputanmai or tolerance and acceptance. Supramania Swami once told my colleague who was visiting him in Tiruvannamalai that the noise and din that came from the motor workshop that had mushroomed overnight beside the kudil that we had helped put up for him did not bother him. Ramani Amma from Chennai who went through a series of suffering beginning with a brain hemorrhage, falling victim to Tuberculosis, and later being hit by a stroke all in the past 2 1/2 years survived these ordeals having faith in Agathiyar and all the Gods and Goddesses. She puts me to shame when she tells me that she told Agathiyar that he can play his game or Lila to his heart's content. On the local front, Shanti Amma left it to Agathiyar to deal with her physical pain and ordeals. When I lament and curse my guru and god for the disturbances in my life I began to ask myself who are these people who submit to the play of God. I realize that I had behaved like a child throwing tantrums at the slightest instigation that came my way. I am ashamed. I haven't grown up. True I am a spoilt kid. I failed to appreciate that Agathiyar has kept me healthy in these 63 years of existence. I failed to appreciate that Agathiyar has given me the wealth of teachings needed to sustain a meaningful life.
If we could only take a stand as Sadhu Om did and watch the world go by peace shall be upon us. But instead, we get agitated with what takes place around us and the world reacting to tweets, messages, and news and blowing our tops. For instance, battles and warfares are not something new. Searching the net we come across hundreds of battles and wars fought in history in the name of acquiring more wealth and territories and acquiring the women that their heart desires. Neh it even goes way back to the times of the Puranas. Konganar is suposed to have seen 18 Bharatha wars. What I don't understand is when gurus and saints like Jesus, Ramalinga Adigal, and Buddha advocate love and compassion the gods who are the very symbol of love hearing the plea of their devotees took to arms to defeat the evil and reinstate them as something less harmful though. Who can possibly fathom the depth and mind and the Lilas of the divine? Who can understand the divine will? For one to have all these answers he would then be God himself, right? But even Agathiyar too does not divulge more than is necessary and even that comes neither sooner nor later but at the right moments when we are able to assimilate these teachings.
Looking back at the miseries and troubles the Nayanmars, Chitramuthu Adigal, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi faced and went through makes me think that ours is only a speck of dust. Mahin pointed out how children are oblivious to the dangers and the happenings around them, forgetting their hunger and pain just to enjoy that moment in the play. If only we could become children again. Indeed that is what the saints expect us to turn into - children. In Henry Wei's book "The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu, Synergy Books International, "Chuang Tzu asks us to imitate the sage who considers life a fleeting dream and death a rest; who does not scheme nor strive nor calculate and who sleeps without dreams and wakes up without worries; with his spirit ever pure and his soul always alert." There is a saying that the child and God are one, “Kuzhandaiyum deivamum gunathal ondru” that translated would mean “Children by virtue of their character are equivalent to God.” Henry Wei surprised me by mentioning the same in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International. He writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” He goes on to say that one needs to bring tenderness in him or in other words the need to relax. This reminded me of Lord Muruga’s recent directive, telling me to relax, lay back and watch the world go by, only to move if required.
Summarized in a statement, the Siddha path is a path of learning or rather relearning. The fruit of one's efforts toward spiritual attainment is Gnanam. One's learning is another's Gnanam. The experiences of one well-traveled become Gnana for a new traveler. Hence the reason why Tavayogi rather than preach to me about the Siddhas and their world, took me along on a journey of discovery, exposing me to their travels, the paths they walked upon, taking me to their abodes, Samadhis, and caves, getting me to experience miracles, giving me their Darshan, and creating opportunities to gain Gnanam from the journey, returning wiser. In asking me to go within, though I could not meditate, these brief moments of solitude made me think of many matters and how I have tackled them. In these brief moments when I am with myself and my thoughts many pertinent truths dawn on me and these have bloomed into the many writings in this blog. This blog is a result of these moments sitting in the presence of oneself and God. In repeating Saint Nakirans asking for a moment to be with one's guru as my own prayer, Agathiyar has created the moment where the soul is in union with the divine, receiving the transmission of messages and energy in silence and quietude. In the brief moments of silence blooms Gnanam. We have reached our destination. We have come one cycle. We began on the path of Sariyai introduced by our parents and forefathers at home. Having gone on pilgrimages to numerous temples we took up the path of Kriyai or home or individual worship that includes Tavam (Austerities) and Aram (Charity) and later picked up Yogam from a guru or at an Ashram and finally settled back to the confines and comforts of our homes to secretly receive the divine transmission from God, falling into the state of Gnanam. The cycle closes with an understanding, confirming the understanding of our ancestors, that we are all a part of the bigger picture and each component is vital to the existence of all the rest. This realization is Gnanam. As the Chinese Ch’an master, Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote during the Tang Dynasty,
“Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” (Source: https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/),
"First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest." How true. Tavayogi very aptly wrote the following when I asked him to autograph his book "Andamum Pindamum" - "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" when translated meant, "Erai lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too."
And so it is with this Prapanjam. We begin to understand the reason our ancestors respected each and every living thing and all of creation and took the trouble to preserve creation. They worshipped nature and the five elements. They worshipped trees, plants, and animals. They lived in harmony with the rest of creation. Our ancestors, each of them were, in fact, Gnanis in their own right. They were our gurus. The world is still in existence because of its vast contributions. We are here because of them too. We begin to respect our ancestors and the gurus too. In bringing us enlightenment on the nature of the Udal, Uyir, and Atma, Agathiyar has made us understand and accept everything as a piece of his nature, the Paramatma. We are linked and connected beyond flesh and blood as the Uyir and the Atma.
I guess language has split humanity with many championing that their language is superior and the oldest and challenging others. Listening to a cinema song just moments ago that I had heard numerous times it only dawned on me how true the lyricist in writing that "இயற்கையின் மொழிகள் புரிந்துவிடில் மனிதரின் மொழிகள் தேவையில்லை", has captured this matter beautifully. True enough nature does not speak but communicates through the breeze, and wind, being gentle at one moment and changing into extreme heat and cold, and at other times showing us who is the master with thunder and lightning, storm and flood, hurricanes, typhoons that send us seeking cover. Mahin observed this too mentioning that "There is no ego clash between nature but humans have it."
Similarly, Gnanam was packed into the teachings of Bhagawan Ramana which were brought to us in smaller packets that we could decipher and understand. But how was it that we missed these wonderful teachings all this while? The answers are all there before us. It crops up or rather comes to our attention when we seek or sought it not a moment sooner or later. Traveling to Bukit Rotan Tavayogi upon listening to the Thiruarutpa songs I played in the car told me that one can attain Gnanam by listening to it. Indeed Sadhu Om's songs too have done exactly that.