SIDDHA HEARTBEAT: A DEVOTEE FROM AFRICA AT KALLAR

A family devoted to Agathiyar traveled again to Kallar to be in the midst of other devotees to celebrate Agathiyar's Jayanthi and Guru Puja. She writes about the amazing developments that took place even before she made her journey with her family to India and the amazing adventure that awaited them while there.

She writes a personal note too to appreciate AVM family members whom she met on the grounds of the Kallar Ashram.

Best wishes for the new year to you, your family and all the devotees at AVM. Good health, much happiness and abundance.

Back from India only a week ago, I thought I would share some of my experiences with you before the dance of daily life took over. It was great to see how many people had returned home and written to share their photos and experience after the Guru Pooja. I had the opportunity to meet some of your AVM devotees at Kallar and enjoyed getting to know and chatting with them. It was pleasing to meet young people with such devotion and commitment to the path. You and your community have certainly done much to cultivate the right values, provide the right guidance and direction and nurture them to open their minds and hearts to follow something priceless, visible to only a few. Their sincerity and devotion to the path is admirable. If a tiny atom like myself could see this I am certain Agasthiyar knows it well.

Staying back after the Guru Puja, she was blessed with another Jeeva Nadi reading at Kallar, her second.

I referred briefly in the piece of another nadi reading. Yes! I was not going to leave India without another conversation with "my…our father", and I whispered this sweetly into Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal's ear. I was relieved that he (our father) was happy to speak to me too. It was only my second reading and I have already gleaned so much of his character; he does not repeat himself, he tells you what you need to know, the power of his word is beyond question, his warmth and compassion is endearing …I could go on but I think I will stop there.

In my last reading he mentioned that "I am always present in front of you". This second reading confirmed this. He knew of the temples I had visited. He knew exactly how I was feeling at specific times, my state of mind (a few examples confirmed that). He knew of the prayers I offer to him in my home. He knew precisely of the things I worry about. He reassured me around many things. There is no question that he is with me all the time. There is no human emotion to express my joy and gratitude for such a gift. As any good child would I asked "what do you need father, what can I give you?" to which his spontaneous reply was "Just continue to pray".

I kindly ask a favor of you. Could you please share this article with Suriyen. I have written a few words, not quite a poem, of what I saw in his face.

Blessed Regards from South Africa

Read about her meticulous description of her journey. She starts her meticulously written journal with a small poem for Surendaren Selvaratnam.

for Suriyen…
Agasthiyar’s loyal devotee who urged me to write something about this trip.

Eyes, the reflection of the beaming moon
Heart radiating the warmth of the sun
Smile spanning the ocean vast
Face brimful, devotion true
Infinite, boundless for Agasthiyar it runs deep.

She goes on to describe her second trip to Kallar.

Trip 2

Some time around the end of July 2015 I discovered that the annual Agasthiyar pooja would be taking place on the 29th of December, 2015. I remember the day with absolute clarity. The news brought my otherwise ordinary day to a screeching halt. I immediately felt a magnetic pull to the ashram in Kallar. It preoccupied my mind for some time. I tried to convince myself that the feeling would pass and I should not give it too much attention. I could not conceptualise another trip to Kallar in the same year as we had just been in April 2015. Again I reminded myself to shake it off.

A short while later, whilst driving to an appointment, I heard an airline commercial on the radio, advertising flights to India (the same airline I spoke of favourably just the week before). The prices were unbelievably reduced and I wondered if I had heard correctly. The coincidence of hearing the commercial and my earlier thoughts preoccupied my thinking further. When I was able to, I sped off to the airline website to confirm if what I had heard was correct. It was positively confirmed. After consultation with my husband and family we decided to explore the possibility of going to India, again. There were very specific dates and time periods in December during which we could accommodate such a trip because of other responsibilities and commitments. Our exploration yielded flight availability for the very same dates and times to suit us perfectly. Another coincidence (or was it?). It was remarkable; messages appeared to be sent deliberately, the airline had been chosen, the price of the tickets very persuasive, specific dates and times were accommodated with absolute precision. We wasted no more time in booking the flights. Trip 2 to Kallar was designed and arranged, little of which was within our control.

26th December

After a very long and tiring journey, from South Africa, we arrived in Tutticodi; late on the 26th of December, 2015. This destination was to enable us to make the climb up Athiri Hills on the 27th, an atonement I was still required to complete. We set out for Athiri Hills at 6h30 on the morning of the 27th. The drive was long but picturesque. Our driver, Ganesh had lived around that area previously but had not been to the reserve before. Nevertheless, armed with a map and numerous verbal directions we sought the hills with much confidence.

Losing our way a few times resulted in a more meandering drive towards the hills. “Losing our way” however, was how we miraculously arrived in Papanasam, at the Sivan Temple. Realising where we were we decided to visit the temple and pay our respects to the mighty one. I was especially grateful for the opportunity since our last visit to the temple had been when the temple was unfortunately closed. The temple was busy and bustling with people. We bought a few lamps at the entrance and proceeded towards the main alter. I was ecstatic to finally be inside that home of Lord Shiva. One could rationalize at length around how we were diverted to the temple but it would be pointless. In short it was extraordinary. After our prayers at the main alter the priest guided us to where we should light the remaining lamps. Although there were lots of people everywhere, both inside and outside the temple, there was still a sense of peace and calm. The energy within the temple incited many personal emotions and experiences. The most noteworthy of these would most certainly be the sweet fragrance of sandalwood that waft through the air catching our attention as we were leaving the temple. I distinctly recall pointing this out to my husband, not wanting him to miss it.

In a nadi reading later that week, our dear one (Agasthiyar) acknowledged that I had visited the Sivan Temple in Papanasam and that he had been there. He shared that he was in the form of the “sweet fragrance of sandalwood” which I had noticed on our way out. Our unscheduled arrival at the Papanasam temple that morning was a divine invitation, for which I can offer no form of befitting appreciation through any means of conscious expression.

Athiri Hills

We reached Athri Hills around mid morning. The weather fortunately, gratefully was cloudy and mild. Our driver arranged for our access into the mystic forest with the reserve official at the entrance. I was hoping my children would not see the “Tiger Reserve” board that stood proudly at the gate. Unfortunately for me they did and boldly expressed their desire to see a tiger, much to my horror. We set off, to visit Gorakar’s cave and to meet the revered Athri Maharishi and the many siddhas that reside beside him.

We began the trek with much gusto until we found ourselves before a motionless body of water. This, we were not prepared for. Perplexed, we stood before the water, our minds racing to find a solution to get across. Although that strategy often proves effective in other domains of life, this was not one of them. The only way to get across was to walk through the water. (Our hesitation or strong inclination to process and think when faced with such obstacles is/was based purely on our lack of exposure or experience to such situations hence submitting to the wicked hand of fear. This was exacerbated by the circumstance of having our two children with us).There was little time or opportunity for extensive deliberation; we walked through the knee deep water.

We reached the other side with much relief and continued deeper into the thick forest. The narrow single file path was strewn with large red and black centipedes. It was not long before we arrived at a stream. By this time we were far into the mission to ponder over it, it had to be crossed. The forest became dense and dark in some places and fear began to creep in. I resolved to keeping my head down, to focus on the path and not look around to lessen the fear. This was not met with success. I was acutely aware that the forest was the home to many dangerous and fearsome beings who took their role in protecting the siddhas very seriously. I silently put out a prayer communicating that I was aware that we were walking through their home and I fully respected every being that lived there, we would leave their home with full appreciation, but in view of my human disability, fear, they should please not present themselves before me. The one time when I did look up however, I caught sight of a stunning peacock not far away. I was immediately distracted by it’s breath taking beauty. Knowing that the peacock is Muruga’s companion I began to chant his name silently, fervently. My prayer was blessed with the sighting of the magnificient peacock, centipedes and the most beautiful, free spirited butterflies which danced around us.

The on going journey was dotted with several more rivers to cross, many of which boasted high levels of water, as the area had just enjoyed much rain.

My mounting fear distracted me from deriving the transcendent benefits of such a journey. I called out silently to Agasthiyar and explained my dilemma. I maintained a mental communication with him to help me see the mission through.

It was not long before we arrived at yet another river. This river was not to be outdone by the others. It was fast flowing, crystal clear, proudly displaying it’s mighty rocks and much wider than any of the others.

Our dear good natured driver, Ganesh searched for the best spot along the river that would be safest to get across. By this time he must have pondered “I did not sign up for this” and rightly so. The day so far had been a far cry from a driver’s ordinary day. However, he showed no signs of discontent. On the contrary he revealed his exceptional character in the way he accommodated and guided us, fully cognizant of our fears, inexperience and insecurities. Nevertheless, the glorious river before us was to test his mettle further.

Ganesh continued to look around trying to plot the safest path across. My heart sank. My fear could not step up a notch having already reached it’s peak. It was imperative that my family (particularly my children) not see my fearful state or sense my state of mind. I glanced skywards and mentally called out to Agasthiyar, “Where are you?”, with as much composure as I could muster?

There was an almost immediate response to my call when I heard the voices of people…

I looked beyond the thick leafy trees and saw a group of people further up the river. They were shouting to get our attention. They signalled to us to walk further up towards them. An unbelievable sense of relief followed. There was immense comfort knowing that there were other people in the forest. We were no longer alone. The one group of men had taken a bath in the river and were getting ready to leave, another group were having a meal around some gigantic rocks and kindly invited us to join them. There was miraculiously a tight rope spanning across the river. They guided us to hold onto the rope and walk across the river, to where they waited. The rope helped to maintain some balance while treading the swift flowing water. They advised us on where to step as the rocks were slippery and guided each of us meticulously across to safety. They informed us that they were going up the hill to the temple as well and they would take us. I saw each of them as siddhas. I had a distinct feeling that the four noble souls were sent to our aid by “our father” himself. They sang and chanted shiva mantras as we ascended. I felt immense relief. Three of them walked ahead of us and one of them walked behind. There was no question or co-incidence that they were sent to guide us. They came fully prepared with a bag of pooja items. On reaching Korraka’s cave, they lit up a lamp and insence sticks. They guided us into a prayer and later explained the history and wonder of the cave.

Our journey with the four saintly guides continued. I was able to relax and notice more of the amazing greenery that sprouted from of the sacred earth. The air was clean and fresh. Although there was a slight drizzle the sun managed to peep through the forest foliage. Being divinely guided, the walk reaching up to Athiri Maharishi’s abode felt more like a leisurely stroll.

The temple was buzzing with people. We were informed that not many people visit there on weekdays. People tend to visit on a Sunday as there is usually a pooja on Sundays. I pondered over this and realized that Agasthiyar had factored this in our schedule when he designed our trip, as we had to visit the temple on a Sunday and there was no other day/date we could have done so. The saintly guides that accompanied us together with priests from the temple made quick preparations for abishegams for all the siddha murthis around the temple. Once the abishegams were complete, we were invited to pray and pay our respects to each one of them. The saintly people were warm, welcoming, friendly, hospitable and kind hearted. It was an absolute priviledge to be assisted and guided through the prayers by them. It was far beyond our expectation.

Needless to say our journey down the hill was more relaxed and appreciative of the rare beauty around us. More significantly; absent of debilitating fear. We embraced the opportunity to enjoy crossing the many rivers as these were rare experiences for us. We noticed the beauty and splendor of the many flowers and trees we had not seen on the way up. The slight drizzle disappeared and the sun made a more prominent appearance although, it was still quite moderate. I was most grateful for the gentle weather, fully aware that too was arranged by the revered one.

It brings me back to my desperate call to him earlier, when I implored “where are you?”. He was there, he had been there all the time. In my nadi reading later in the week he confirmed that I had been very afraid (he put it mildly) during the journey but he had been there all the time. (I had concealed my fear from my family successfully but not from him…)

Fear every bit a human emotion has no place on this path. It may take some time to take control of fear instead of being controlled by it but learning to trust and experiencing the hand of the omnipotent transcends feeling the human emotion, unquestionably, the space to seek.

Agathiyar Jayanthi and Guru Puja, Kallar, 29 December 2015

We reached the new ashram in Kallar at around 6am. The sun was gently awakening. There was a noticeable chill in the air. Lots of people moved about busily. We stood on the sanctified soil, looking around and took in the fresh, morning Kallar air.

Greetings with Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Mataji was met with much excitement and enthusiasm, for all of us. We gratefully accepted their blessings. We spent some time engaged in a warm, affectionate conversation with them before swamiji took us around to show us the building and the new home for the revered siddhas.

By this time the sun was smiling down pleasantly revealing the beauty of the surrounding greenery and the rolling hills behind it. The morning prayer was officiated by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Mataji, after which a flag was raised.

What followed that day educated me on several levels of consciousness. I wanted to use all my senses, to recognise and appreciate any manifestation of the many miracles I was certain would take place that day. Introspection since that day has illuminated much, deep within; much of which is personal and unique to my karmic structure. Abundantly clear for me, as an infant on this journey, is that reading, learning and knowledge is not enough, it’s important, but the soul craves experience, to feel, to touch and be touched (tangibility). Hence “putting the book down for a moment” stepping out and allowing oneself to feel can surprise one with an experience of soaring through the sky, far beyond, to a place specific to what that soul seeks.

The main prayer took place later that day when numerous bundles of sacred herbs, leaves and shrubs were offered to a sacrificial fire. Each herb/leaf/plant is significant in possessing the ultimate cure for every illness currently known to man. This for me was newly acquired knowledge, hence I was beyond grateful for being fortunate enough to attend and participate in such an auspicious event.

A sacred fire was placed at a central point. Numerous devotees sat in a huge circle, a safe distance, around it. Mataji praised each herb/leaf/plant for its divine medicinal properties and chanted it’s relevant mantra before it was graciously offered to the roaring fire. The respected fire accepted the offerering, sanctified it and released into the air a blessed fragrance of that herb/leaf/plant. The level of spiritual energy that radiated from devotees combined with that released from the fire was powerful.

By this time of the day the mighty sun was not going to be excluded from contributing to the energy levels. It played it’s role remarkably in scorching my karma as I tried profusely to bear it bravely. There were however, a few times when I faltered and asked Agathiyar to “provide some relief” after which a welcome breeze drifted across.

The faith and devotion shown by the devotees could have moved a mountain. It also confirmed that everyone there were united for the same purpose. It begged the question, “Does that not make us one and the same?”. If one had to fly high up above Kallar at that moment; what would the view have been? Just a dot, all the people on the ground would be viewed from far above as one, just a dot; one and the same.

This took me back to an encounter I had with a wise one earlier that very morning. As I mentioned earlier I was trying to use all my senses to the best of my ability, very aware that I was surrounded by the divine in every form or shape. I was in the company of a few people that morning when for a few brief moments all of them drifted away. I suddenly found myself alone…. but not for long.

Quite swiftly a sage like person (fully dressed in ochre, slender, tall, long hair, long beard etc.) appeared before me catching me completely by surprise. I say appeared before me because I had been standing alone, with wide open space around me and I did not see anyone approaching. He sped into a conversation. I tried awkwardly to conceal my surprise. I had hardly gathered my thoughts when he was already at the point of asking some personal questions like “where I was from, family etc”. I noticed his hair, his beared and his smile as he talked. His smile was arresting. He spoke perfect English, absent of any one accent. He told me something that appeared strange and cryptic, which I did not understand. We chatted around it for a bit. He gently assured me that I would see it. He was warm and friendly and the conversation rolled with ease.

I then arrived at a point where I questioned where he hailed from, to which he replied, “That’s an interesting question. I am everywhere. I am here, there and everywhere”. I tried to grasp this, my interest provoked. I waited for him to explain.

He went on to say, “I am an engineer by trade. I lived in Germany for many years, then I moved to Slovakia”, (I think it was Slovakia, I am struggling to recall this, the end of this encounter will reveal that it no longer matters that I cannot recall it, proving his point). He then revealed a bit more personal information about himself.

Unexpectedly he swerved back to geographical location and added, “the important thing to remember is that it does not matter where we live or where we come from in the world, on the globe. We are all the same, we are all one, so we should see everybody as one”. He was completely content with what he had just said. Rather profound indeed. I agreed spontaneously.

This can be further expounded to reveal that there are no differences among people, no differences in color, nationality, creed, language, religion, gender, social status etc. We should see all as the same, all as being one.

Embracing all as one, should therefore not be limited to the human race but should transcend across all living things. Seeing all living things as one has the potential for man to walk this earth showing appreciation, gratitude and respect to all other beings, leaving this earth as it was found.

By this time the people that were with me earlier returned. I have no recollection of introducing them or not. They began to move down towards the tent and gestured for me to join them. It all happened very quickly. I returned my attention to the wise one. I noted how happy he was. We said our goodbyes. As I was walking away he reminded me to look out for the cryptic thing he mentioned to me earlier. I turned around and looked at him. He was still standing there, smiling radiantly. I promised I would.

Further introspection since the encounter has revealed much which for now is what can be shared. My wish is that I be blessed to recognize him instantly, not if, but when I see him again.

The tree, near the entrance of the new ashram, under which Agathiar spent many years in meditation. This very place becomes available for his new home.