Last night I saw the Hindi movie "Goodbye" with my family. It reminded us of the recent passing away of my mother on 28 November 2022. Harish (Amitabh Bachchan) comforts his last son who arrives late and after all the rites are over, telling him his mother went happily. He shares his story. He recalls that he is left as a kid in a school by his parents. He awaits for them to pick him up but hears that they are dead. Being a child he does not understand the concept of death. He is told by a teacher that though one is out of view it doesn't mean that he or she is not there, pointing out to a cyclist who turns the corner and disappears from their view.
Harish: "You know when my mother and father left me at school (Guru Arjandev Govt School) for the last time... then.. they turned right and never came back. Every day I stood there waiting for them."
He goes back to the past conversation.
Teacher: "What is it?"
Harish: "They are saying my parents are dead. What does that mean?"
Teacher: "Harish can you see that man on the cycle there. Can you see him now?" He has taken the right turn and you can't see him anymore. But that doesn't mean he is not there."
Harish comes back to the present moment: "Mom took a right turn as well. She moves on but we can't see her. And then one day it would be our turn to take that right turn. We won't be seen but we will still be moving on."
It reminded me of the words of Agathiyar too who had told me not to fear death as it was another door to another passage.
The priest who did the rites for my mother from day one too said the same. As we sat on the banks of the river that flowed by the small town of Tanjung Rambutan he described my mother as having become the water that rushed in the river; the cool morning breeze that brought on shivers to us brothers who had taken a dip in the icy cold waters; the earth bank that we stood one and the branches of the trees that bordered the banks which dipped into the waters as if taking a sip. He meant my mother was one with nature now. He asks that we see it and accept it too. It reminds me of Ramalinga Adigal's last words that he would be in all things henceforth.
Back to the movie, in another instance, the priest on the banks of the Ganges tells the daughter that what we have is memories and stories of her mother.
"Stories nourish the world. Stories are older than us and also the dinosaurs. It is older than the world. You hear a story and tell your children your version of it."
The priest goes on to ask her "What would you like to remember about (her mother) Mrs. Gayathri.
"You will remember all the little things she said or did. Listen Mrs. Gayathri has been here many times. But in this lifetime she left you those stories those memories."
Similarly, we have many stories of our parents and grandparents to share with our children and grandchildren.
My mother came in a dream some days ago but just as my father too came in a dream after his demise I could not remember the conversation.
On a related note, a relative who attended the wake shared her story. Being a teacher who loved teaching the kids, she was stressed out with the administrative work that came with it, asked me why I opted for an early pension if all things were good at my office. I replied that I did not want to die in office. I wanted some time to be with myself and my family. I wanted to leave when things were good to be true.
Another relative with dementia and depression can't leave her husband out of sight even for a moment and won't leave her home. This made me pray again that the dear Lord take me when I am in the prime and peak of my life where all my bodily functions are at their peak and I am hale and healthy. This is what the saints too prayed for if we follow the songs that they have handed over to us.
During my walk around a park, a Chinese man caught up with me and walked alongside me. Seeing me help a senior citizen who tripped and fell earlier, he started a conversation with me. He told me the greatest treasure was good health and not being dependent on another or becoming a burden to them. Another Chinese neighbor stopped by my home during her walk when I had my grandson on my lap taking in a breather and told me exactly the same too.
Our greatest asset is this body and mind. Take care of these assets well.