I dread to think how my life would have taken a tragic course, not once, not twice, but many times, if it were not for God's grace that saved me. I can't imagine now how I found the guts to do the things I did back then. Yet the divine showered its grace on me and is trying its level best to help me with this much-needed transformation and change. How can I repay his kindness, love, and compassion? They say no pain, no gain. That is how it is with this metamorphosis and transformation that is taking place in me currently, as foreseen by Agathiyar sometime back. He had asked that I take some herbal preparations to counter and strengthen my body. The pain around the hips that kept shifting was felt in the face. The left eye hurt. Then the pain was felt in the chest. Later, the gums and teeth hurt. Today, the right inner ear and the right side of the hind of my head hurt. The wind and energy lodge in all these places momentarily, causing pain and discomfort. But Agathiyar had previously asked that I bear the pain as it was all a part of the process when I succumbed to a similar pain in the years between 2010 and 2012, and later in 2016 and 2018.
I met up with my former officemate today when I was in Seremban. He was the one who made the appointment for me to see my very first Nadi reading in 2002. We had a wonderful chat filled with appreciation of life, gratitude, and acceptance. During the chat, he mentioned, "Let us do what we came to do". It was yet another reminder for me. This phrase has been hitting me in the face the past days. Everyone I meet seems to tell me the same. This was what Bhagawan Ramana told Sadhu Om too, not once, not twice, but three times within a day. Just as we carry out a task given with commitment, similarly, we tend to take on a spiritual task with similar importance and end up sad and disappointed when we don't see results. When I felt that I had failed Agathiyar and Tavayogi in bringing others to open up their hearts and homes to their family and friends, and in doing so have their homes take on the role of Agathiyar Vanam too just as I did, speaking to Mrs Kogie Pillai over the phone, she told me to let it be and that they shall open up in due time. She wrote me what we had spoken about earlier moments ago.
Sowing the Seeds
Sometimes living our life purpose and executing the tasks associated with it can become a little blurry. We may have spent much of our life fulfilling a role in a corporate or similar environment characteristic perhaps of self-imposed high standards, lofty expectations, driven by results, immense motivation, sincere commitment, unwavering determination and more. These personal standards and traits can sometimes unintentionally be expected of others as well and more importantly they can filter into our spiritual roles. Spiritual roles however tend to be designed and structured somewhat differently from corporate roles, particularly around job specifications, performance management and measurement.Although there may be some similarities between the two roles the spiritual one is distinct for it’s unique, individualised path aligned to the personal journey of each person. The manager navigating the spiritual team is also on his/her personal journey hence he/she is only required to perform their specified task and move on. Members of the team accept responsibility for their tasks and are accountable for their performance. It is pretty much a transformational, self-managing system.There are however some spiritual pathways where the leader walks the path and members follow. The leader navigates, guides and steers based on his personal experiences, acquired knowledge, wisdom and spiritual accomplishments. The leader leads and members follow hence members inevitably traverse the journey of their leader as opposed to their own. There is no judgement in this if one is fully aware of their choice and is happy in pursuing it.The siddha path however offers the opportunity to learn from experiences of others, translate it into personal knowledge, formulate wisdom and use discernment in discovering the self and one’s purpose. It encourages spiritual independence, self-management and the pursuit of bespoke relevant outcomes to advance one’s unique journey. To this end the spiritual leader will disseminate various different seeds and continue with his/her own journey. Each individual will respond to the seed/s that resonate with them.Therefore in my novice opinion your concern relative to failing in carrying out your tasks and in meeting siddha expectations and the sense of disappointment in not seeing growth and advancement in many individuals is unnecessarily self-punitive. The task was to sow the seeds, which was accomplished. One cannot make them germinate. Each individual will respond to the seed relevant to their unique journey and the time taken for each seed to germinate will vary. For example apple seeds take 2-3 weeks to germinate and 2 to 8 years to bear fruit, mango seeds typically germinate within 1 to 3 weeks and can take 5-8 years to bear fruit , cocoa seeds take 12 to 18 months to germinate and 3-5 years to produce beans and the buccaneer palm can take 18 months to germinate and reportedly decades to reach maturity.The spiritual journey is incredibly arduous, often soul stretching, mind bending and life wrenching hence one may come to the fold, fall off the spiritual wagon, leave to re-learn lessons, acquire more knowledge, shed baggage, encounter more challenges, take time out to heal or seek to understand themself or life better. This takes time. It takes as long as it takes and differs from person to person. Their seed germinates and grows only when they are ready. It cannot be hurried. When they return to the spiritual path they are more inclined to stay, grow and thrive.Disappointment relative to not seeing them grow and germinate before your eyes stems from measuring growth within our linear time frame. There is only the present, no past, no future. Your task was done, seeds were sown and they will germinate, we just don’t know when. Regardless, at some point you will see the fruits of your labour from wherever you are and hopefully you will ready for a bountiful harvest, owed to you.