Does having problems bring one to the Siddha path? Does the Siddha path equate to broken homes? Does the Siddha path confuse one? Does worship to the Siddhas equate to worshipping people? Does praying to Siddhas equate with praying to the dead?
I have heard all these accusations and references being made to the Siddha path and posed to Tavayogi and me. Although I pondered over these questions thinking if it was possible and all true, I never believed that the Siddhas would jeopardize our lives. I took on the worship of the Siddhas irrespective of all the negative views held by many at that time. I took up the worship of the Siddhas because Agathiyar asked me to do it through the Nadi reading. He sent me Tavayogi to show me further the rituals involved and to show me the greatness of the Siddhas. Agathiyar himself performed numerous miracles to show his presence, that which I have written and shared extensively in this blog.
I did not come to the Siddha path seeking the Siddhas because I had problems. I did not go seeking a guru to lead me on. I did not seek to know the rituals and procedures involved. It was all given, sent and gifted to me by Agathiyar.
Adopting all that was shown and learning from experience and with all the subtle lessons gained from these experience, Agathiyar moulded us not into saints or Siddhas but into a better person. With prayers and charity as two vehicles to balance the scale of karma, he walked with us, protecting us from harm's way.
Many transformations took place within us creating the ideal conditions for him to come and settle within too.
Today We have arrived home. I realized this a couple of days back as both Mahin and Malar had bath and dressed the bronze statue of Agathiyar and we began to sing his praises. What would normally be a string of songs stopped at just one song. I could not go further. We stopped singing. We remained quiet. We went within almost immediately without effort. I felt that we had arrived at our destination. At that instance, I remembered Tavayogi's words - the words he penned in his book when I asked him to autograph his book "Andamum Pindamum" - Aandavan Uraikindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum.
The search has stopped. We have come one full cycle. The search started from within and had now come to an end having settled within again. Ram Dass in "Going Home", says "When I don't know who I am, I serve you. When I know who I am, I am you", bringing us back to the starting point.
The following koan too represents this state.
During the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese Ch’an [Zen in Japanese] master Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote: “Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. (Source: https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/)
The Siddhas practically turned around my life 360 degrees and literally lifted and flipped me and threw me into a pit in their dark cave of wonders. There were many a moment they moved my soul and body whence I dance, manipulated and twisted my body and broke into great laughter, all done without my doing, all beyond my control. They worked on my body to rid it off the toxins that had built up over the years, that hinder the smooth transition of the physical body into other states deemed fit. They began working on the chakras clearing the blockages that hinder the energy flow to higher regions. They worked on the breath. All these caused pain and discomfort no doubt. But the body needed to be prepared for their arrival. The body needed to be prepared to do their task. But they never even for a moment let go of their guards and constantly cared for my safety. How can I possibly repay them?