It is wonderful how Agathiyar has brought much clarity to all the things discussed in this blog over time. My journey and subsequently the recalling of my memories and experiences that are documented in these pages are published solely to bring awareness to the path of the Siddhas that had always been shrouded in secrecy in the many songs of theirs and that we can hardly comprehend. Rather than have us go through volumes and volumes of these Siddha texts, Agathiyar and my gurus had us walk the path. Bringing us to him through a calling to read the Nadi, he told us about karma, as the reason for all of man's sufferings, illnesses, delays, problems, troubles, etc, something that we were not aware of before. Due to his love for us, he went through our past records to reveal our past karma. He then spent some time with us telling us what needs to be done stating prayers, pilgrimages, charity, and remedies. Now the ball was in our court. If we believe in his words and respect them our next course of action would be to get on with carrying out all that was told. But if we were skeptical and suspicious, wondering if it was Agathiyar who spoke or the reader had coined it all up to get some dough from us, we would have left it as it is. This is where our story takes a diversion just as in the Tamil film "12B" that was based on the movie "Sliding Doors" where two stories run parallel, one if the lead character had boarded the bus and the other when he missed it in the former movie and if she had boarded the train or missed it in the latter movie.
Similarly, our life tends to take a different course when we begin to believe. If we believed, our lives would work out differently from that if we had walked out as a disbeliever. In the former, the Siddhas tasked us to do things that would favor the burning of our past karma while in the latter karma would follow us like a dark cloud till the end. The choice is always ours to make. Anger, worries, suspicion, disillusion, confusion all can interfere in our decision as to believe or not to believe. If we walked away from the solution it can only be that our karma was so strong that even the little good that was waiting to happen to us has been intercepted by it. He has then to face life alone minus the company of the Siddhas.
For one who believed he would get on doing the prayers, charity, and remedies immediately. The obstacles will clear. The troubles will vanish. His problems will be solved. A classic example was when I and my wife were with a Nadi reader. Just then he asked us if he could see a Chinese lady first as she was wailing over the phone and wanted to walk in to learn of a solution. He also asked if we could translate Agathiyar's words. Just then she walked in as anticipated, crying aloud. We had no choice but to agree although I never liked listening on to other's personal stories and dilemmas. After she had gained control of her emotions, she narrated what had happened at her office. The Nadi reader walked into the adjacent prayer room and came back with a bundle of Nadi leaves. Agathiyar spoke. I was overwhelmed listening and translating it to her. That day I truly realized who Agathiyar was. He spoke firmly and assured her that her problems will go away. It was a Saturday. He told her to offer and place a lotus flower on a Shivalingam for three consecutive Sundays. That was all he asked for, telling her that he would either get the troublemaker out of the office or transfer her to a better place. We told her to do it the same day, and place another lotus the next day, a Sunday and for another two Sundays in a row. She left. As I and my wife had to see the Nadi again on Monday, and as we entered the office of the Nadi reader, he told us the good news that she had called him moments ago and told her that Agathiyar had solved her problem. What amazed us was that he had asked for ten days but settled her problem in three days, even before she had fully carried out the stated remedy. This was one of many success stories. And so we spread the word and many went to read their Nadi. Agathiyar through the Nadi gave solutions to their problems.
But over time we realized that not all were success stories. There were some who never saw the results that they wanted or they desired nor were their wishes granted although they had undertaken prayers, charity, and remedies. A young girl who was caught in this net of karma was suffocating under pressure from peers and financial institutions as the financial burden now rested solely on her shoulders in the form of loans and repayments. Besides that, she had the responsibility of caring for her aged parents and a sister. I gave her the recipe for success, the magic formula that was handed down to us by gurus in the Siddha path including Tavayogi. To all those who came seeking solutions to their problems, they would listen out and tell them that it was vinai or karma that was the cause of all troubles. If they were interested to learn ways to overcome they would reveal that the Siddhas could help bring a solution. The choice is then theirs to seek the Nadi of the Siddhas or worship the Siddhas so that they show some mercy. The choice was theirs entirely, no compulsion of any sort and no promises made. Otherwise, they could go their way and deal with the problem themselves. But what the girl told me surprised me. She had done all these. The formula did not work for her. She was still in debt and troubled. Recently a single mother with two daughters in their twenties called me to share her problems. She had taken up the worship of the Siddhas since 2010 but nothing changed in her life. She had been to places of worship, met gurus, and joined movements under Agathiyar's name, but the Lord had yet to show mercy on her. The formula did not work for her too. I was left figuring what went wrong. This was worrying us as the prestige and honor of the Siddha's words were at stake. We had no answers. Neither did Agathiyar explain. But both these women were strong. They did not give up. They still had faith in the good Lord that things will change for the better. They are still battling the odds. So it seemed that some could come out of their karma while others could not. Some could come out of it of their own accord while others needed the Siddhas' help.
But as the years went by we realized that the inner government and administration was not as simple as we had thought. There were many chess pieces to be moved especially for those whose lives were equally complicated. Though we realized that the troubles we faced were of our own making and we had brought upon ourselves such deep trouble I didn't have the heart to tell others so in their faces. Neither did the Siddhas. The Siddhas are very careful with their choice of words and refrain from hurting those who sought them. They would give them hope and continue to do so, even if it didn't seem that they could ever come out of it. I guess that they were fated to live the life destined. They had to face the music. There was no escape route. There was no consolation. Nothing was going to soften their landing. Does that mean God was cruel or biased?
Just as many personal predictions never happened, so was it with the many predictions regarding matters of public concern that many asked of the Siddhas. Issues on nations, their direction and where they were heading, politics, about significant public figures, were answered. Many did not turn true or have yet to materialize. And now with the pandemic and numerous predictions dished out and carried in social media, we are yet to see positive results.
Are we then victims of our own doings? Does the karma of those around us affect us? Does that of the society and nation have an impact on us too? It sure does seem to as we see in current times with the pandemic covering the face of the earth and hovering so close to home and making us unable to breathe the fresh air. Many have fell victims. Many we know have fell victims too. Although we had turned a blind eye on many issues before because it did not affect us directly and happened far away from home, now we are facing a common enemy on the level of a catastrophe where it looks like no one shall be spared. I could be the next victim. It has been a year and a half since it struck our shores too. We have lived in fear and continue to. With all the measures taken, yet we are not sure if we would be next. So we turn to God after having taken all the said precautions. We asked him for answers. He did answer our call for help. He set us to do rituals something that we had abandoned for a year and a half too taking heed of their directive to move from Sariyai and Kriyai to Yogam and Gnanam. They told us to turn to rituals in times of need. The need has arisen. While some lit the Homam as directed, I bathe him daily. At the same time, all the pressure they gave us to do Yoga Asanas and Pranayama during this period too paid off. It prepared us to be a vessel to contain the pranic energy from the Prapanjam. The many times Ramalinga Adigal came to initiate and show us the means to connect with the Prapanjam was for a reason too. We had to put to test what we had learned, for they had us connect with the Prapanjam to heal the pandemic. It all falls into place now. They had prepared us well for the task.
While all these works on the Prapanjam something very subtle is working within us too. I am beginning to see the result of the prayer that was asked of Lord Shiva that we carried out. We recited the Maha Mrityunjaya and Dhanvantri Mantra that keeps fear and danger away respectively. Although the fear of the virus is still out there the fear within has left. I have a new understanding of the situation on hand. To gain my composure and peace of mind I decided not to worry about the impending danger but rather bring a change in my mindset. Rather than brood and live in fear daily, I have surrendered to him the consequences of the impending dangers that lurk around the corner waiting for us to step out of our homes. If ill-prepared and protected we shall fall victim too. Hence we need to protect ourselves first. Besides that, we need protection from the Gods. The Greek phrase "The Gods help those who help themselves" is very much relevant here. Since I cannot fight the pandemic of this nature, I surrender to God. I have done and shall continue to do all that is dictated by him. As my wife said let us live from moment to moment in these times of uncertainty I shall spend some quality time with my family as we are kept captive indoors.
So when a devotee who was on the verge of exhaustion and collapse caring for her parents tested positive feared for them, I tried to boost her spirit. After all the motivation did not sink in well I told her that it was time she faced the undeniable and accept the fact of the matter. I had to tell her that the change now has to come within her. She has to be strong to face the reality. I have seen single mothers manage their children with special needs alone since birth and never gave up on them. Neither did they desert them. These were strong women. Then there were the weak ones. I have seen women who deserted their children with special needs in the care of the grandmothers or orphanages and never returned for them. Agathiyar had always reminded us not to let down our guard and let down our spirit. Once we fail in these areas, karma hits us badly and no amount of procedures, treatment, and healing would save the soul respectively.
As Agathiyar penned a song placing himself in our shoes I shall call out to Lord Narayana too. Agathiyar sees himself face old age and death and pleads for the grace and mercy of Lord Narayana in this song. So before we arrive there it is best we call out the name of the God Lord now, for when all the system fails, how are we to thank him. Let us thank him now while we are still alive, hale and healthy.
At that moment of inability, immobility, and gone senile, or with acute illness, I might not be able to utter your name Oh Lord, hence I take this opportunity to sing your praise right now at this very moment while I am still hale and healthy.
At that hour when death approaches me I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am remembering you now Lord Narayana, please take heed of my calling,
When kapam or phlegm arises and my tongue quivers, I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am calling you now so that you would appear then to save me, Lord Narayana,
When vayu or the vital air comes to a halt, and all senses seize to function, and my soul begins to leave, I am not sure if I would be thinking of you, hence I call out to you now so that you come to my aid then,
When all that I thought was mine suddenly is of no significance and importance at the time of death, I am not sure if I will remember you my Lord, but nevertheless, I pray that you would come then Lord Narayana, hence I am calling you out now,
When Yama's servants appear to bind and take me away, I cannot promise that I would think of you, hence I call you now my Lord,
When my next of kin surround my death bed and wail and cry out, I don't know if your thought will arise in me, hence I cry out for you my Lord this very moment, so that you would appear to save me during my final moments! and so the song goes on.
நாராயணா ஸ்ரீமத் நாராயணாபத்ரி நாராயணா ஹரி நாராயணா
நாராயணா ஸத்ய நாராயணா
சூர்ய நாராயணா லக்ஷ்மி நாராயணா
நொந்துடலும் கிழமாகித் தளர்ந்தபின்
நோயில் நடுங்கிடும் போது – ஜீவ
நாடிகள் நைந்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
கசிந்துன்னைக் கூவுகின்றேன்
நீடு கபம் கோழை ஈழை நெருக்கி – என்
நெஞ்சை அடைத்திடும் போது
நாவும் குழறியபோது – மனம் உன்னை
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நான்
அன்றுனைக் கூவிட இன்றழைத்தேன் எனை
ஆண்டருள்வாய் ஹரி நாராயணா
ஐம்பொறியும் கரணங்களும் வாயுவும்
ஆடி அடங்கிடும் போது – எந்தன்
ஆவி பிரிந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
நம்பி உனைத் தொழுதே அழைத்தேன்
ஜகன் நாயகனே ஹரி நாராயணா
உற்றவர் பெற்றவர் மற்றவர் சுற்றமும்
ஒவென்று நின்றழும்போது – உயிர்
ஓசைகள் ஓய்ந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
பற்றி உனைப் பணிந்தே அழைத்தேன் – ஆபத்
பாந்தவனே ஹரி நாராயணா
என்பொருள் என்மனை என்றதெல்லாம் இனி
இல்லை என்றாகிடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நீ
அன்று வரும் பொருட்டின்றழைத்தேன் அருள்
அச்சுதனே ஹரி நாராயணா
வந்தமெதூர் வளைத்து பிரித்தெனை
வாவென்றிழுத்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – அந்த
அந்தியம் நீ வர இன்றழைத்தேன்
ஸச்சிதானந்தனே ஹரி நாராயணா