When many used to gather around Tavayogi and questioned him when he was in Malaysia, and often pulled and tugged on the issue or subject on hand for hours, he would sit and entertain them. He had the patience of a mountain. He never did teach them about Vedhantham nor Sidhantham. Instead, he told me to pack my bags and come over to his Ashram in Kallar. I did as told. He took me on a practical journey giving me many valuable experiences, never for a moment indulging in philosophical thoughts or talks. Philosophy and doctrines were not learned from text nor tutored by him, instead with experience over time in traveling the path, the understanding accumulated and the lessons learned have taught us much. While Vedanthins talk about the philosophy of life the Siddhas walk the talk, living and practicing their method of preserving the body as the vehicle to journey beyond the skies.
Along the way I have seen many characters on the path of the Siddhas who hold on adamantly for years on a practice thinking that that shall bring them to the state of enlightenment. They forget that those are only means to achieve enlightenment and can be safely dropped as one gains its benefits and has seen its results. Sadly many are hooked to it for life. Most of the time these are sensitive issues that are dear to their hearts and that they hold to rigidly. Agathiyar tells us to let it be, never wanting us to have a confrontation with them. He reminds us often of our purpose and to stay focussed on it, never letting our guards down. When the time is right to let go of the rope he comes to have us drop them too. When he winded up rituals and charity asking us to move on, I realized that he puts a stop to our efforts when we tend to revisit them. For instance, I had dropped performing the homam handing over the homa kundam or vessel to my niece who wanted to continue the ritual in her house. I handed over all the items for the fire sacrifice including all the twigs and sticks that I had collected over time for the ritual to Suren who desired to carry it out in his home. Mahindran would come around and perform the Homam and perform libation or abhisegam to Agathiyar's murthy or statue at AVM on occasions bringing all that he needed for the ritual with him. I would be a spectator watching the puja in my home.
Over time I realized that my grandchildren and the young toddlers of fellow devotees in AVM were missing out on these rituals that we had done and carried on for years moving from AVM to the homes of these devotees and the temples that honored the worship of the Siddhas. So I thought that I should perform the Homam whenever my grandchildren or other children were at AVM. I asked Suren to purchase a Homa kundam for the purpose. I guess Agathiyar was not in favor of me engaging in these rituals again for he called for my eye operation and that of my daughter's too, putting a hold on performing the ritual for some time. The twigs that I had collected again during this time too had gathered mold without my knowledge as they had become damp. I had to throw them away today.
When I decided to give an old man who was hunched a lift from the hospital another driver stopped to pick him up. On another occasion as I approached a man in crutches to offer a lift a long queue of cars builds up not permitting me to alight and assist him into the car. I had to drive off. I guess he is serious about us moving on and never wants us to revisit the past practices.
When I told him that however long I sit and attempt to meditate it just doesn't happen, he tells me that, "But you tried!" consoling me that the results were not important but the effort was. He seemed pretty pleased that I was trying. So does he tell us that the destination is not important but the journey is.
When we had shortened our rituals that initially took a couple of hours to minutes, the head of an ashram told me he could not do the same as they had to adhere to the 300-year-old tradition that included a puja that took 5 hours. Another head of a local establishment too found it difficult to bring his devotees to the fold of Yoga as they were very much hooked on rituals. Hence he had to carry on with the 2 1/2 hour long rituals. When Mataji told me she was going on with the annual puja at Kallar ashram after Tavayogi's samadhi, I asked her if she would shorten the celebration from two days to a day and only focus on the Yagam instead of the native dance concert on the eve and the talks by the religious head of other establishments in the morning, she told me that she would not want to change anything but follow as Tavayogi had established. I understand fully well the limitations and restrictions, and the established order that came with establishments. I realized that we had been able to bring the change because AVM was fluid and adapted to the needs of the Malaysian society and changes with time. I understand that many establishments cannot bring about a change just like we did because most importantly they were establishments while we were a loose group of devotees at AVM.
At the start of a new journey it is quite natural to be both apprehensive and fearful of what is in store but having traveled it for years we tend to throw caution to the wind as we have manipulated the route and traveled it several times. It becomes automated, just as we drive and reach home although engaged in a conversation during the whole duration of our travel. But when we are new to a place all our attention is on the road and the surroundings. So too when we drop the practices for newer ones we tend to move away from boredom and a mechanical life exploring yet another frontier. Even as we carry the accumulated knowledge along, the scenario and the stage have changed. We encounter new souls further along the route. New experiences arise.
A story is often told of a guru who had his followers tie up a cat to a pole while conducting rituals. Later in the absence of the guru, it became a part of the ritual too. His followers took it as customary and continued to tie up the cat to the pole while doing the rituals. They failed to realize the reason the guru had the cat tied up - it was in the way of the rituals and attendees.
I am glad that we never berth the AVM vessel to the banks of the river or anchored ship, but instead chose to remain afloat and let the waters carry us as far as it would, over rapids and calm waters, waterfalls, and whirlpools. The vessel is no more now. What remains are a small number of devotees hanging on to the pieces of wood from the vessel that remains afloat by the power of the chant of the name of Agathiyar. He came to acknowledge that the homes of this handful of devotees shall henceforth be known as Agathiyar Vanam too. He shall keep us afloat and lead us on. It is now his journey and his vessel that we are hitching and taking a ride on.