My dear friend and reader from South Africa, after reading the last post, asked that I continue writing. I understand her wish, for even my grandchildren ask me and my wife to tell bedtime stories. Most of the time, we make up our own stories rather than dish out the same old stories. History itself is hi(s story). We're made up of stories. I love to tell stories. Once when my second daughter asked me to help her out writing a pictorial essay, I was carried away and told more than the pictures called for. She got a zero for it. Her teacher told her that she had not kept to the pictures depicted in the book. The same happened to me when I was in college. I realized that my lecturer had not given marks for one of my answers. Approaching him he told me that I had not followed his notes. As I was fond of reading I would gather much from the books in my college library back then. He was not swayed by the extra facts that I had given.
Matt Gaw writes in his book "Under the Stars - A Journey into Light", Elliot and Thompson, London 2020, "We only need to step outside to find that in darkness the world lights up". He says "When you flick off a switch other forms of light begin to reveal themselves". True. When we step out under the night sky we begin to see more and more of the stars and most probably a satellite too. As I turn around to look for others who might be gazing at the moon, stars, and the night skies too, I am disappointed that none are. They are all couped up in their homes. Now I understand why Tavayogi instead of holding classes when I was at his ashram, took me on a journey of exploration and wonder, pointing out the scent and aroma in the breeze and wind, and the flower petals that the Siddhas threw on us as they ushered us into their abodes which was only visible to him. So similarly, whenever I am out with my grandchildren I would point out to them the noises and songs that nature makes, the singing of the birds and cries of insects and animals. When once my neighbor called me on the phone to ask if I knew that a tree had toppled onto a car in the neighborhood due to strong winds and rain, I took my 5-year-old second granddaughter to have a look. She asked me how was it that I, who could hear and make out those fine sounds in nature, could not hear the crash of a tree. What was I to say? I told her that most probably the sound of the crash was overshadowed by the sound of the thunder.
Tavayogi once took me into my prayer room, closed the door behind me, and drew the curtains close. He then pointed me to the light from the lit oil lamp that filled the room. This was the Jothi spoken about he said clearing the air and my doubt if all flames were Holy as with the flame from the cooking stove, campfire, or that razed the forests and gutted houses and properties, were Jothi too. When Agathiyar comes through a devotee, he would ask us to kindle the flame in the oil lamp to burn bright. At other times he would ask us to draw the curtains shut or off all artificial lighting. Ramalinga Adigal would ask us to kindle the flame within us to burn bright by chanting the Maha Mantra Arutperunjothi.
This birth was given to me. So was that of my wife and children. My parents and siblings were given to me. The place and time of birth were determined by Agathiyar. The school, college, and subjects were determined by Agathiyar. The job was offered to me. My wife and children were given to me. The home fell on my lap. I fell onto the path of the Siddhas. I was entrusted to my gurus by Agathiyar. Now Agathiyar wants to give me some herbal preparations to manage the changes within that is to take place with the inherent dormant energies rising further within me. It was made and ready for my collection tomorrow Wednesday, but not without a certain amount of drama as usual. It is not from Palani though as originally indicated by Agathiyar but from our friendly neighborhood Siddha Vaidyar Ariwan Aiya. I'm still trying to figure out Agathiyar's game and play in asking me to get in touch with a Peedham in Palani. Yes, I did as told, picking up a number from the web that was answered surprisingly by a Siddha doctor from the Peedham. Briefing him about Agathiyar's command to me and giving him a brief narrative of the transformation taking place since 2007 till now so that he would get an idea of what I needed as Agathiyar did not spell the name of the formula, and the reason for Agathiyar asking me to take the herbal preparation, we discussed how the parcel was to get to me as I had no intention of going to India. A friend and a Siddha physician who was leaving for India then volunteered to bring it. I had done my part and the friend was eager to do his part too. Now it was the Palani Siddha doctor's part. But as things were silent on the other end, and nothing moved, and time was running out as my friendly Siddha physician would return to Malaysia, I told my wife and friends that henceforth I shall await Agathiyar to knock on my door and not rely on another. My friendly neighborhood Siddha physician pacified me telling me that he would prepare whatever it was that Agathiyar had asked me to take. But as Agathiyar did not state the name of the herbal preparation, as he did earlier some years ago telling me to get his Agathiyar Kuzhambu from my friendly Siddha physician, I relayed to him the transformation taking place within and listening to me he surprised me telling me that he already had prepared the medicine. It seems Agathiyar would tell him to prepare herbal preparations and he would do it not knowing to whom it would reach. Then someone shall come knocking on his door in need of it. This was Agathiyar's modus operandi. Now he knew it was for me. But still, I do not know Agathiyar's game in asking me to reach out to the Peedham, if it was already ready and waiting for me here on my home ground.
I do not have a purpose anymore. Looking back if I had left any untied ends, there is none. Asking if I had any debts to settle, there were none. Similarly looking forward there is nothing to achieve further. There is nothing further to say or do. There is nothing that needs my intervention. Now tell me what is mine to shout about. I'm just whiling away these days. I have learned to let go. In letting go I gained inner peace.
Agathiyar in coming as the bronze statue in 2010 told me that he would momentarily come in me and walk among us while my soul would enter his statue then. After many years of worship to his statue he then came within devotees too to address us. As he was silent for some time sometime back, he came to answer our question asking us why he had to come through others when he was with us 24/7. Now he wants us to even break loose from identifying him as another and instead see us as one, bringing us to the ultimate teaching of oneness or yegan thus bringing us to fall into a state of silence effortlessly.