Just as the grandfather tells his grandson to write down "All the things that he saw, read, and experienced, and to compile all those stories", in the movie Aalan, I remember Tavayogi giving me a smile, after asking me what I was doing as he looked over his shoulder at me sitting beside him with my notepad and pen, jotting my entry each time we left a temple or a place of worship or adventure. I made it a point to document these adventures, which soon saw their way onto the net via the numerous websites I created and later as this blog. Later, I began to upload videos of our activities, too, and the director in me came to the forefront. I was interested in movies from a young age and wanted to make films but dropped the idea later, thinking of the magnitude of coordinating it all and bringing those thoughts into celluloid before my audience. I wanted to be a full-time artist, too, but I dropped the idea of making it a career. But all these came to fruition as I came to my gurus and traveled the path. Then Agathiyar threw in the challenge of writing my biography.
Seeing the young lad who came into his care at his ashram attempting to write day and night, the guru approaches him, asking,
"What is the core belief of a spiritual person?"
"Detachment Guruji"
"When you are supposed to stay detached, why then do you seem so tense? There are only two things in this world. Being here and without being seen. You can't force one to be seen. It should be seamless. Only then can you remain unseen." Saying thus, he asks,
"What's inside you, writing or spirituality?"
"Both Guruji."
"You cannot sail in two ships at once. Your heart finds it difficult to commit yourself to God. But deep inside your heart keeps dreaming about writing. When all your thoughts revolve around writing, you cannot devote yourself to God. The basic law of the universe is living hand in hand. Similarly, in your life's journey, even if you lose many, someone may travel alongside you. Who knows? Nature is a treasure trove of mysteries. No one can predict what will happen next. That is the law of life. One's greatest love transforms into one's spirituality. In your case, writing is your spirituality. It is wonderful. If you want it to reach everyone, this is not the right place for you. Stay with people from that community."
Saying, "Decide what you want," he leaves him to think and decide.
I guess this is what the guru in the ashram where my father stayed back then, after leaving the family behind, must have told him too. For though I cannot remember him speaking about his guru or the ashram, he said that the guru sent him back after he served him several years, telling him that he had responsibilities toward the family that he needed to settle first, adding that if fate permits, they shall meet again. Heeding the advice, he came back but never went back.
So too, I think Agathiyar, in accepting their decision, has shelved his plans for the devotees at AVM for now. Since the pandemic cooled off, both he and Lord Murugan had harped on the need to surrender to the cause and kept asking if they were ready. As no one was ready to take the plunge as yet, he let them be. It reminds me of the story where a Siddha approaches a man numerous times to go with him but is sent away when the man gives excuses not to come. Finally, not willing to wait another moment, the Siddha asks him to fetch him a tender coconut to quench his thirst. When he is holding on to the branch of the tree, the Siddha stops him and asked if he was holding on to the tree or vice versa. The man comes down and follows the Siddha without saying another word.