Not everyone is cut for a job or task. I remember Sivabalan remind me, as I was elated when Agathiyar asks me to build him a temple, not to be too happy as this proposal was made to 50 others before me. He should know for he had Nadi readers from India stay at his home and read the Nadi for Malaysians. He would often translate for others. He told me to take it up if I had the resources and know-how. When many come up with talks on Siddha medicine on the net I proposed to a friend to speak on it as he was a good Siddha physician. He turned down the invite. When very few take notes and compile their experiences, I chose to do it because I found it so difficult to lay my hands on accounts of personal experiences of practitioners of yoga, religion, and spiritualism back in the 80s and 90s. My sole source was the limited books written, that were brought into the country and made available at a handful of book stores, again not through experiences but as a study on these subjects. Pandit Gopi Krishna was one who documented his experience with the powerhouse Kundalini. Paramahansa Yogananda has given a detailed account of his vast experiences with gurus and his personal experiments in his autobiography. Though my experiences are not comparable to these prominent spiritual figures I guess they would come in handy for someone just coming along the path of the Siddhas.
And so it was that I commented on PremKV's YouTube channel that "I guess you are the one destined to bring Swami's fame to the entire world, Prem. Thank you very much to you and your team for all your effort and work. Swami shall shower his grace on all of you" after watching the trailer of the 2nd season on the series on Sadhguru Shri Brahma. I truly believe he was the one task to bring Swami into the spotlight. I watched the 9th episode last night having seen all the previous 8 in the past. He has done a good job in bringing the story of Swami to life.
Similarly, I was delighted to receive praise from Tavayogi for my work in promoting Agathiyar and his ashram/temple through this blog and my YouTube channel that goes by my name. It was the best gift a disciple could ever ask for from his guru.
I was not keen on attaining the Siddhis, arousing the kundalini, doing wonders, healing, forecasting the future, looking into the past, dwelling on Siddha medicine, reading the Nadi for others, and all the other fields associated with the Siddhas. I just wanted to remain in his good books and spread his good word. That was what Tavayogi had asked me to do in the very beginning. But then I told him that I was ill-prepared to take on a task of such magnitude as we have many "giants" in the field who came before me. But Tavayogi tricked me to speak pushing me to the forefront at one such gathering at an event to officiate a new Peedham in Banting. Luckily Ramalinga Adigal's Arutperunjothi mantra saved the day for me. Just saying a few words I switched to chanting the mantra and everyone else had to follow. Wasn't I smart, huh?
There was one time I ditched all the websites I had created and the YouTube channel too back in the past when someone made a joke about Supramania Swami on a Facebook account of a friend who had posted Swami's photo. I informed Tavayogi that I had closed all the sites. Tavayogi requested that it be there. I had to start from zero again complying with his requests. Agathiyar too has asked me to continue writing the blog. I guess if this would make my gurus happy then I shall pursue this task given. I am reminded by the stanza from "Shivanandha Botham", a discourse between the Manam and the Arivu, where the Manam is told how a disciple should carry himself before his guru, first as adimai or a slave and later as a thondan or servant looking into his needs and ensuring he is happy always and most importantly wait patiently for the tree to shed its fruit.
ஐயமின்றி யுடல், பொருள், ஆவி, மூன்றும்
ஆண்டவனே உன்னதென் றளித்து பின்னும்
துய்யகுரு நாதனுக்கே அடிமையாகிச்
சொன்னபடி கேட்பதற்கே தொண்டனாகி
மெய்யென்றே அவர் மனமும் களிக்கும் மட்டும்
வேண்டினதோர் சோதனைக்கு மிதத்திடாமல்
செய்யதிரு மலரடியிற் காத்திருந்தாற்
செவியதனி லூபதேசம் செய்வார்தாமே
To whom shall the Guru pass on his Gnana Upadesam?
To the one who sacrifices, without doubting his Guru, his Udal, Porul, and Aavi to his Guru who he regards as his God.
Hence becoming his slave,
Following each instruction as would a servant,
Thus bringing joy to the Guru,
Not giving up under the pressure that comes with his tests,
Waiting patiently at his Holy Feet,
To those, the Guru gives his Gnana Upadesam.