Goodbye, Sayonara, Adios, Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Ciao, Adeus, Do svidaniya, Zaijian, Annyeong, Ma'a as-salamah, Tot ziens, Antio, Namaste, and Vanakam.

If the last two posts had summarized the journey, the start and the end, at least for now, Agathiyar came this evening, and in a timely manner, told me to end my writing and focus on the next phase that I have to enter. He acknowledged that I had attained the first level, as pronounced in his message to us on my 60th wedding day. Passing the message that he would come today and speak about it in detail, he kept his word and told me the next phase was to "feel" Sivam (சிவத்தை உணரு) and know the Atma. This would bring on an entirely new experience, he added. 

Just as Tavayogi told me that the temple he built and the puja he did were for others, Agathiyar asked me to bring others to Sariyai and Kriyai through the revival of my home puja. So, see you all soon, either at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in person or on this blog again, if he gives the green light to write further. Goodbye, Sayonara, Adios, Au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen, Ciao, Adeus, Do svidaniya, Zaijian, Annyeong, Ma'a as-salamah, Tot ziens, Antio, Namaste, and Vanakam. 

WALKING WITH THE SIDDHAS 2

Looking back now, all the puzzle pieces are falling into place. I understand whatever took place back then, traveling the path. The many mystical and mind-blowing experiences that I encountered, or rather the Soul arranged for me to have in India, under the watchful eyes of Tavayogi, for instance, Agathiyar opening his left eye in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, the sacred ash that Tavayogi had in his hands, without his knowledge, in the caves of Uthiyur, and bringing me to revisit the Twilight Zone that was Palani. These amazing happenings continued upon my return home, too, as I wrote in the last post.

Traveling together to a temple under construction in Bukit Rotan with me behind the wheel, I played the songs of Ramalinga Adigal in my car. He listened intently to the song titled "Aaniponnambala Kaatchi" and went on to sing along. Literally, the verses describe a journey that Ramalinga Adigal took on the physical and mystical planes. With whatever little Tamil I know, I am giving a translation as follows.

"As I walked on the Path, there was a Platform. I climbed the Platform. There was a Room. As I approached the Room, there was a 7 tier Hall above it. I cannot bring myself to narrate what I saw in these 7 tiers. In one tier, the silver Pearl transformed into Blue Sapphire (Neelam), in another tier, the Blue Sapphire became Coral (Pavalam). In another tier, the Emerald (Maragatham) became Ruby (Maanikkam). Yet in another tier, it became a Pearl, and back to Coral in another tier. Then, on another tier, the gems became Gold. All these gems became Spadigams in yet another tier. Above these 7 tiers, there was a staff. Climbing the staff, what can I say of that which I saw? There were thousands of Sakthis everywhere, who came to entice me, but I remained undeterred and strong due to the Divine Grace. Due to his Grace, I saw the Jewel of the Crown. I saw a Peak atop the Crown, above this, there were 1008 Temples. As I entered through the Arch at the Temple without hesitation, within the Entrance, there stood both Sakthis and Saktas in millions. They began to question who this trespasser was as I moved on. At another Entrance, there stood five; the others showed the Way, yet to another Doorway. As I entered, a male and a female showed me to yet another Doorway. At the Doorway, my Mother, the Goddess Anandha Valli, stood to welcome me. I saw her and submitted to her Grace, and partook of the Divine Nectar. With her grace, I saw my father's Abode. I stepped into his Abode. Who could possibly understand the Gift I was showered by my father, Lord Nadarajah?"

From "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingar" published by Sahitya Akademi, S Vanmikanathan translates this song as follows.

There appeared a mountain of effulgence, and on that was a street. I went along that street, and in its center, there was a platform. I climbed onto that platform, and on that platform, there was a hall. When I approached the hall, on top of that hall, I saw a seven-storeyed tower. What shall I say of the wonders that were on the seven storeys? On top of the seven storeys there was a golden pillar. When I beheld the pillar and climbed on it, what shall I say of the novelties I saw! It is not within my capacity to describe what met me as I climbed on. At several stages, Sakthi-s, in thousands and thousands, came. They came and tried to bewitch me, but that I may not be bewitched, I gained a power of grace. By that power, I climbed up that pillar and spied the jeweled crest. On top of the crest there stood a dome that I saw. On top of that dome, there was a temple of one thousand and eight carat gold. On seeing the temple, I went unhesitatingly inside the portal in the tower. At the portal in the tower, there were Sakthis-s and Saakthaa-s in crores. Their hues were white, red, and scarlet. There, all of them asked, “Who is this man?”, but I went past them. I went past them, and there, at a sacred doorway, were five persons. With them showing me the way, I went to a jeweled doorway farther up. At that doorway, which I remember well, there stood two, a man and a woman. With them pointing it out to me, I beheld with love welling up in me the private sacred entrance (which leads to the sacred presence of Lord Civan). At that sacred door stood Aanandhavalli, my Mother. I beheld the Mother, Her grace I received, and ambrosia I partook of. By Her Grace, which held me up, I saw the presence of Natarajar, O mother, I saw the presence of Natarajar! The boon I received on going into His presence, God knows it, O mother, God knows it. In the Hall of prime gold, the sights I saw, wonderful sights they are, O mother, wonderful sights they are.

Ramalinga Adigal's journey reminds us of the mystical doors that give way to the abode of the Gods and Goddesses in the Purana films. Buddha, too, was wooed by Mara with all kinds of distractions. 

Asking him if those places and planes Ramalinga Adigal sings about do exist, Tavayogi tells me that it was a journey within, traveling the Chakras, and stopped at that. This was somewhere in 2008. Recently, Agathiyar came to say the same, telling us that Gnanam, which Tavayogi always spoke about, was not gifted but had to be earned through our efforts. He tells us that it was a journey of traversing the Chakras and arriving at Sahasrara, where Gnanam will dawn. 

Agathiyar asked me and my wife to conduct our 60th wedding, though I was already 65 then, and asked me to relay his message, a concise epic of the journey on the path of the Siddhas towards light, which he dictated to me several days before the event. He chose the Guru Purnima day. After having us carry out our 60th wedding, or to be exact, he carried it out for us, Agathiyar came to ask my children why the need arose to hold the event, and elaborated on it. To the children, it was to indicate and have them let go of their dependence on their parents. As their parents had to embark on another phase of the journey, the 60th wedding was carried out to clearly draw the line and remind them of this. It was not that the parents and the children were to break all ties, but to remind them not to expect further from their parents. As for us, the parents, it was meant to end our responsibilities towards the children and acknowledge that the children are on their own now. Henceforth, he told us to prepare ourselves to embark on a journey of knowing the Soul. Yes, it was not a repeat of the wedding vows we took and the rituals we did back then in 1989, but rather an engagement of the souls this time around. His message was self-explanatory. This is indeed the journey that Ramalinga Adigal speaks about in his song 'Aanipon Ambalathil". In asking us who Agathiyan is, he explains the journey of transformation into him, or rather, to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them, too.

"Who is Agathiyan? 

You are. I am. True. We are all Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within. 

"Why is it that we do not realize or feel him?"

It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him. 

"How can we attain this state of preparedness?"

First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives, they shall walk with us, holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you, too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Thenceforth, you are no different from Agathiyan, and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me, and I am you."

Just days ago, when I thanked him from my Soul, he asked me who I was thanking and what for? I replied that I was thanking him for all that he has given us and for the good life. He replied with another question as he often does, asking, "Aren't we one?" I kept quiet. He has brought me where I should arrive, or rather has taken me back to my original state, or rather his state. Agathiyar saw through this entire journey of mine without any hiccups. I am truly grateful to him. 

Only after some twenty years of worship to these Siddhas have I begun to understand whatever Tavayogi said in passing back then. After wandering throughout India, his last pitstop was the hills of Sathuragiri. Having completed his external journey, and short of completing his internal journey, arriving at the state of Samadhi within, Agathiyar held him back and pulled him back into the material world, and directed him to fulfill his purpose and one last task that was waiting. Agathiyar had him start an ashram and preach the teachings of the Siddhas. Agathiyar had him seek a place known as Agathiyar Vanam and pitch his ashram around the turn of the century. He soon came to know that the Kallar hills were known by this name. Hence, the Kallar ashram came to be. We are glad for otherwise we would have "lost" this Soul or Jiva that would have left his body after 21 days remaining in the state of Samadhi. I would have lost the opportunity to meet such a noble Soul that I saw as Agathiyar himself walking the face of the earth. His departure and demise that came later in 2018 was a mere dropping of his mortal frame. His Soul joined the realms of the Siddhas, becoming Light as Dhanvantri came to reveal to us. Agathiyar added that he was doing Agathiyar's work in the realm of the Siddhas. Yogi Ramsuratkumar, too, lying on his deathbed, told his followers that he could do a better job in the subtle realm.

After traveling places out there, and seeking him out and coming to know him as existing equally in the Prapanjam, as I had shared in the last post, it was the travel within that subtly brought on the changes that Ramalinga Adigal sang about and that Tavayogi and Agathiyar spoke about. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas and Lord Siva and Lord Muruga and Prapanjam had spoken, bringing me messages and updates and guidance through the many Nadi readings, constantly monitoring me and my journey within. 

Coming through the Nadi,

• On 3.10.2007, they spoke on their amazement at seeing the Kundalini rise in me; 
• 18.5.2008, that the many techniques taught and shown and put into practice had brought on excessive heat within, prompting the need to take Sattvic food that would cool the body, listing what to do, and telling me further that the colors of the aura will accentuate further as a result of the awakening of Kundalini;
• 30.9.2008, that the light from the third eye had emerged in me; 
• 8.12.2008, that due to my Vaasi practice or Pranayama, the Suzhimunai and the crown at the top of my head had opened, and that he shall draw all the seven veils aside and have me see the Jothi, thus paving the way to reach the state of fulfillment and completeness that comes with the state of Soruba Nilai; 
• 27.8.2009, giving me a further practice known as Tava Sukmam; 
• 26.12.2009, that Gnanam has dawned on me and that the crown of my head has opened and that the third eye shall shine; 
• 12.7.2010, that I had seen Sadashiva; 
• 9.8.2010, that the heat or Gnana Kanal from the practice or Tapas had risen in me; 
• 17.10.2010 that my health was declining and asked to see a physician who could bring it back to its former state; 
• 16.1.2011, that I continue taking the prescription that he gave on 17.10.2010 for another half a Mandalam or 24 days; 
• 9.8.2011, that I was in a state of bliss and that the graceful light of Arutjothi had increased immensely and in intensity, bringing one to reach Siddhantam and higher states; 
• 26.11.2011, the Muladhara Chakra had gained intense heat, hence shutting my systems down and my three Doshas, Vata, Kapha, and Pita, were thrown off balance; 
• 15.2.2013, that my crown was open and I had gained Mukthi; 
• 21.9.2014, that the chakras were functioning perfectly and that the Suzhimunai was opened;
• 28.3.2015, that I had gained his Jothi and had the crown chakra opened; 
• 28.8.2015, that changes had taken place within me, and that his Jothi has expanded in me, and the Suzhimunai has opened; 
• 7.10.2018, that my breath was dislodged and blocked in my sleep; 
• 8.10.2018, that, as age had caught up with me, my spine and hips were tensed, the inner gel at these joints had dried up resulting in the acute pain I was having, coming as a Jiva and speaking through the Jiva Nool or Nadi, and simultaneosly coming through a devotee at the same time, treating me and removing my pain, by stroking my body with the peacock feathers; 
• 5.9.2019, explaining the reason I fell, slithering in pain like a snake would, and that being a sign of Kundalini that had arisen and begun to move, churning up the heat and fire within, and that it was blissful at the same time, and that the third eye and the crown had opened, and I was partaking of the ambrosia within. That was the very last Nadi reading I had before the pandemic came on, and the Nadi readers went back to India. 

While all these while the Agathiyar and Siddhas spoke through the medium of the Nadi, during the pandemic and post-pandemic, they surprised us by coming through devotees to convey their messages as the Nadi readers from India had returned home. 

They used to come through me when Agathiyar came in the form of a bronze statue made in Swamimalai and delivered in 2010. But as it took place in our home, we begged that they should stop, for it was a family home and we had school-going children, and I had to go to work early the next day. Anyway, we did not want word to get out and have the public wait in line to be cured, for instance. The Siddhas stopped - temporarily until we were spiritually mature enough to understand that they were only using us and our venue to aid, help, heal, and answer the prayers of others. As soon as they made me realize this, they started bringing in strangers again and went about their business, asking us to just keep watch and witness. 

When the Nadi readers came back, Lord Murugan came in the Nadi and told me to give way and allow them access and space to do their miracles. That is when we saw the heavens giving way to all the deities, Siddhas, and other heavenly beings. That was the pinnacle of these strange happenings. 

Coming through devotees, 

• On 29.11.2019, Arutperunjothi has taken possession of us at AVM and to open up our Souls and hearts to receive the Jothi and allow it to come within and embed in us; 
• 24.12.2019,  that Gnanam was the art of transforming the Asudha Degam into a Sudha Degam and later into the Pranava Degam and finally into the Oli Degam, and that observing the breath was the means to it; 
• 30.1.2020, that my breath was at Svadhishthana, and that it was about time it opened up, asking me to take up the practice that Tavayogi gave me in 2007 again which he had me stop doing when I was in pain earlier, to carry out the cleansing breath that shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl and travel along my seven Chakras, awaken them and that after traversing these Chakras, when it touches the seventh, I shall know my purpose here; 
• 4.5.2020, that when I reach this state, an energy that is Suzhimunai will come within without my knowledge; 
• 27.6.2022, that the "Agathiyar Kuzhambu," a herbal preparation that detoxifies, which I took, helped in expelling the excesses in the three Doshas; 
• 22.8.2022, that the stagnated "water" was released when a pull and a tug of a nerve was felt below the navel, bringing on a swirling sensation followed by a chillness, making the whole body became numb right to the tips, causing nausea and the urge to pee and urine and causing me to collapsed twice and added that it was blissful, though; 
• 23.8.2022, falling again upon awakening where the body became numb from the shoulders down and laying like a dead log on my bed, not able to move even an inch of the torso from the neck down, though able to see, hear, and talk, and aware of what was happening to me; and asking me to carry out Nadi Sudhi to bring the breath to travel in both nostrils and raise the Prana, so that it shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna where then the Jothi is seen, resting in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam where Dhyana shall be ours; 

It was clear that it was not entirely my effort but their grace and insistence, though at times an ordeal and painful, in wanting to see me attain their state. I am truly grateful to them for not abandoning me to this day. 

Mr Patrick Teo was both my agriculture and art teacher back at school in the seventies. He used to bring us to the lake gardens, Taiping, and have us look at nature and draw her. Many years later, I did not expect Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, my second guru, to offer to take me into the jungles and caves, places he had spent years wandering through as a mendicant throughout India. Ramalinga Adigal often came to help us connect with the Prapanjam. Lord Siva asks us to communicate with her by lighting the Homam, and help her heal at the peak of the pandemic. Prapanjam herself later asked us to do the same, worried about a resurgence of the deadly virus. Agathiyar, who told us that he was Prapanjam, came into our homes in the absence of his bronze statue that he had me move to the homes of the devotees who invited him over. 

I came to know recently from a translation of Adi Sankaracharya's "Soundarya Lahiri" that I shared in an earlier post, that "the Prapanca, here meant the 72,000 Nadis of the Jiva" or Jeeva or Soul in us. The Prana that came within in carrying out the Pranayama and Asana techniques Tavayogi gave me back in 2007, and which I did diligently, had activated the creative energy Kundalini, that saw through the development of the embryo and fetus, and a child that became dormant later at the Muladhara, thus awakening her. Over the years, it stagnated just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts would only bring us till Svadishthana, and the guru has to lead us on. Agathiyar, in 2022, came to break the bund and release the pent-up energies ponding at Svadishthana. The energy made its way to her final destination, where her lover was waiting with open arms within the 1000-petalled lotus in the crown that is the Garbhagriha, or inner sanctum, or chamber. They rejoiced in meeting, and danced the divine dance, and ambrosia flowed, cooling and drenching the entire body that is the very temple. The Jiva went into a state of Samadhi during those moments. According to Sri Ramakrishna, Samadhi is the realization of the state of Sat-cid-ananda. We read that in this state, generally the life force lingers for 21 days and then passes out, but if God chooses to retain in us the ego, that of either knowledge or devotion, henceforth their minds shall linger, remain, and shall move between the 6th and 7th planes or Cakras. But the energies soon returned to their respective chambers, for Agathiyar decided it was not the time for my soul to leave. This energy fuels the flowering that takes place in the Sahasrara even to this day. Thank you, my Lord, my guru, my Soul. And I have to thank Paramahansa Yogananda, whose autobiography, gifted to me by his devotee, opened my eyes to the existence of gurus and Swami Sivananda of Rishikesh, whose autobiography gave me an insight into his life too. I have to thank Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati for asking aspirants to have a spiritual diary to monitor their progress. This blog has become my spiritual diary now. 

WALKING WITH THE SIDDHAS 1

Looking back now to the few and rare travels, journeys, pilgrimages, and visits to holy places and temples that I undertook and that were spaced out, where for no reason I cried my heart out, only now have I come to associate these not with an individual named Shanmugam Avadaiyappa but that of his Soul or JivAtma crying out at being separated from his Father, the ParamAtma and its yearning to return to his arms and fold. 

Agathiyar reveals that the Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its control in a secretive, subtle manner. This subtlety stays from 1 to 5 Varagai with the child before it's veiled. He says that he cannot tell us the reason for it to be veiled now. Nevertheless, he adds that the Atma will return unto him depending on his actions. He says that the Atma, if we realize it, appears as a vibration (an Athirvu) and disappears. And if we learn to practice extending this vibration in us, the Atma, in us, pulls us to a path, and we shall merge in this vibration and arrive at the state of God/Erai/ Agathiyan."

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். 

ஆன்மாவே உனது கர்ம வினையைச் சரிசெய்வதற்கு உதவி புரியும். கர்மவை சரி செய்த பின், ஆன்மாவின் தேடல் அதிகமாகி மனிதனின் அன்றாட தேடல் தீர்ந்து போகும். அவன் தேடல் முழுதாய் என்னையே தேடி வர முயற்சி செய்யும்.

ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி. 

The calling came to see the Nadi in 2002. As the time was ripe and right, the JivAtma that was responding to his call brought me to take a journey of another kind, moving away from Sariyai, which was previously put on hold for some 13 years, to take the leap into Kriyai and later Yogam that would bring on Gnanam in the years to come. But first, I had to see the world outside before plunging within. 

As I stepped out of my house to board the waiting taxi to the airport to take my maiden flight to India,  in 2003, as instructed by Agathiyar in the Nadi reading, my wife was moved to ask me if it was possible to chart the horoscope for our second daughter in India. I did not plan anything more than the temples that Agathiyar listed out that I should visit. 

While at the Utamar temple, in Trichy, a resident priest from whom Deva enquired about my said Parikaram both here and at Tiruvanaikaval temple, volunteered to accompany me there first. He brought me before Lord Dhakshanamurthy's sannadhi. I broke down and cried and cried and cried uncontrollably. I did not know why I broke down. No one from the entourage, be it the priest who brought me there, the elderly priests from the temple whom he asked to come along, or the caretaker who unlocked the doors to all the shrines that were closed then, or Deva stopped me or consoled me. Instead, I could hear the priests say, "Let him cry." 

When I was at the Ekambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram, I was led by a young priest at its doorway into Lord Nadarajah's chamber, where he performed the Arati. I shed tears of joy that came on automatically, seeing the majesty and beauty of my Lord. I had him to myself. 

When I took my very first step to climb the stairs of Palani Andavar temple, I could not move my legs. They were as heavy as stone. I could not understand. I was fit, having tested my fitness level by climbing the 273 stairs at Batu Caves and several more at the Gua Tempurong (Tempurong Caves) before going to India. Eventually, with the aid of both my hands, slowly lifting my feet and placing them on each rung of the stairs, I managed to climb Palani. Exhausted and drained of my energy, I dropped myself onto the floor at the summit and rested. After some time, I picked myself up and made my way to the entrance of the temple, joining the existing queue. As I stepped into the inner chambers, I was confronted by a priest who asked if I wanted to do Archana and practically snatched the bag of goodies I had bought for Lord Muruga from my hands. He came back after some time and handed over my purchases plus a packet of sandalwood paste that he mentioned had adorned Lord Muruga's Murthi. I began to leave the chambers, not remembering having seen Lord Muruga. As I stepped into a dimly lit corridor, I realized that I was alone; the crowd before me and after me was nowhere to be seen. Taking just a few steps, I noticed an open doorway on my right and took a peek. A senior priest with another three young ones was in the rather small chamber. I asked the senior if it was Bhogar's Samadhi. He nodded and lit the camphor tablets. He did a small prayer, explaining to me the objects of adoration that Bhogar had left behind. He pointed out an opening that supposedly houses the sage. It was exactly behind Lord Muruga's Sannadhi! Taking a few minutes to sit in the divine room and presence of Bhogar, I picked myself up only to be confronted now by one of the young priests who held out a tumbler of milk, mentioning that it was Abhisega milk or milk collected after the libation of the Lord. I drank it and walked out of the chamber. Nothing was spoken between us, only gestures made. The moment I stepped out into another corridor and into the open, I was elevated to another mode, that of bliss. I was literally walking on air. I came around the temple grounds several times until the effect wore off. I believe I had stepped into a portal to another space that day, since two years on, in 2005, when my brother and I were accompanied by Tavayogi, it was entirely a different space and environment from what I witnessed in 2003. Where did I land myself if not the Twilight Zone? Since then, Palani has been a twilight zone, one of mysticism and mystery. I sought answers from Agathiyar on what had transpired there at Palani that day. He only gave me the answers some two years later. This was further reinforced when I visited Palani in 2016 with the AVM family. 

My wife's request brought me before Supramania Swami and my guru. The Individual Soul, working in tandem with the larger Soul, had Raji, the assigned driver, fall ill moments before my arrival, and sent Deva to fetch me at Chennai airport instead. The Soul had me finish all my remedies at the temples earlier than scheduled and had me meet my guru. Coming into the presence of my guru, Supramania Swami, in his village home in Tiruvannamalai, I had him to myself. I wept silently for the whole duration of our sitting, some 5 solid hours till dusk, as he, an astrologer, revealed about me without the need to chart my horoscope. This time, it was tears of joy and gratefulness to the divine for all the blessings he showered on me till that moment. As Agathiyar mentioned in his memo to us, the Atma rectified my karma as I took heed of Agathiyar's instructions in the Nadi and made the pilgrimage to India to carry out my remedies. Once that part was settled, I was freed from the shackles. I could now meet my guru. Deva, who was Supramania Swami's brother-in-law, brought me to him after I asked him if he knew any astrologers. Call it a coincidence, the unexpected, anything. I knew then that our lives are ruled by divine forces, however much we deny it. Just as the Atma decides the family circle where it can flourish and grow, and see its desires and purpose fulfilled, for a man who chooses to believe, as Agathiyar said, the Atma brings him to places conducive to his upbringing and to people who shall tutor him further. 

These magical moments continued back on our shores, too. These moments culminated in spontaneous and unintentional cries that became quite a regular affair in the places of worship that I visited. After making my maiden pilgrimage to India, having done my Parikaram or remedies for past faults and Karma, and after I met my first guru, Supramania Swami, quite unexpectedly, just as Agathiyar had hinted in the Nadi, following a series of unprecedented events and a play of moving the dice by the mysterious hand of the divine the ParamAtma, after a couple of years later, in 2005, I was driven to meet Tavayogi in Malaysia at the office of their local affiliate Peedham in Batu Caves. I had him to myself, too. I came to verify that a leaflet given to me in 2002 by the Nadi Guru Senthilkumar after my Nadi reading was his and that he had intended to build a temple cum ashram for Agathiyar in Kallar. As I bid farewell to him, I fell at his feet. Tavayogi moved back and told me to never to do that. Instead, he pointed me to a pair of wooden sandals or Padhugai, a representation of the feet of the guru worshiped and adored in Indian tradition. Although he had brought me into that room so that we could have a private moment together, I did not see it until that moment. Neither did I notice what was around the room in which we sat and spoke. Only when Tavayogi pointed out that I saw the sandals and the painting of Agathiyar in the meditation room. It was just as in all the temples I visited in India, where I had no awareness of my surroundings once I came before and in the presence of the Divine. The moment I touched the wooden sandal as Tavayogi told me to do so, I broke into tears and began crying aloud for reasons I could not comprehend. It was not that I wanted to cry, but it happened spontaneously. The cry came from within without my control or me initiating it. I heard Tavayogi say to Appana and Perumal, who had just joined us after attending to their administrative work, that they too had cried before. 

Later in 2010, when I was with Tavayogi at another affiliate Peedham of his in Seri Gombak, and as I stood in line with the other devotees to get his blessings, and just as I got on my knees in front of him, this time around, there was a sudden burst of laughter and joy that overcame me. Simultaneously, he went into a state of laughter and cried too. I did not understand either his action or mine. Surprising though, nobody took notice of what was taking place. Later, as I drove him to Bukit Rotan to visit a new temple that was under construction, I asked him what had taken place that day. He immediately hushed me, looking back to the guide who was dozing away in the back seat. I never got the answer. If I figured that these are moments where we connect with God and the guru, Agathiyar confirmed my guess through his memo. 

As I stood with my family at the Sri Jeganathar Sivalayam in Tapah, I was overcome by emotion and cried for reasons I do not know. Again, surprisingly, the disciples of a Swamiji who made a pitstop at the temple with his entourage also did not notice what was taking place. It is as if these moments are veiled from the sight of others. My family was always the sole witness. I felt the grace of my Paramaguru. I guess I touched the ParamAtma and vice versa. Tavayogi was a student of Chitramuthu Adigal. Chitramuthu Adigal, in turn, was a disciple of Jeganathar. Jeganathar was a disciple of Ramalinga Adigal. Ramalinga Adigal's guru was Agathiyar. The Atma brought me to get the blessings and grace of my lineage of gurus.

When I was with my family at the Siva Subramaniam Alayam, Kampung Kepayang, which is inside a cave, I was again overcome by emotion that shook the very core of my Atma again.

When my family and I had prayed at the Nattukkottai Chettiar Temple, Penang, and as we stepped out, as we asked for directions to go over to the hill temple next, to a man making flower garlands at his flower shop, he pointed us to the Arulmigu Balathandayuthapani Temple tower, which was visible from where we stood. Suddenly, I went into a state of joy and laughter on looking in the direction he pointed. I heard him say, "He is in bliss." I guess I connected with the ParamAtma again.

Then the highlight and pinnacle or grand finale of all these shows of energy and its corresponding vibrations happened in the silent inner caves of the Sri Siva Shanmugar Temple in Sungai Siput. When the priest or Gurukul who had taken us on a tour of the cave stopped at a spot and revealed to me and my family that that was the spot where our Paramaguru Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated for years, I went into a spin and a dance and fell on my back into a depression in the ground, missing the boulders by inches. I must have connected with the Atma/Agathiyan/Erai again.

Revisiting Tiruvanaikaval again, this time with my family now and Jnana Jhotiamma in 2013, again I was overcome by a similar emotional outbreak of crying and joy. Jnana Jhotiamma pacified me this time around, stroking my body as I lay on the cold floor before Lord Dhakshanamurthy as before. 

In 2016, as the AVM family was on its way to join the festivities for Agathiyar's Guru Puja at Kallar Ashram, we stopped over at the Mayuranathar temple in Mayiladuturai. As we sat in the presence of Lord Dhakshanamurthy, Lord Ganesha, and Kuthambai Siddhar, I was overcome by a profuse energy that went through me and left me crying in joy. It refused to settle for a long time.

At the Arulmigu Meenakshi Sundareshwarar Temple, Madurai, I was overcome by emotion sitting at the Sundarananthar Vallabha Siddhar sannadhi while the rest of the AVM family recited the names of the Siddhas.

My wife had jokingly told me, "Make sure you see him this time!", before I left for India, the reason being that I never could remember seeing Dhandayuthapani Swamy on my earlier visits. On arriving at the Arulmigu Dhandayuthapani Swamy Temple, Palani, to our surprise, we were greeted by a priest who led us into the temple. That is when a priest comes up to me in a hurry, crying out, “Kaanikai! Kaanikai! Kaanikai”. I stopped in my steps and placed whatever rupees I had with me into his hands, and he moved away as hurriedly as he had come, without another word. And that was when I realized that I was standing before Dhandayuthapani Swamy, having a wonderful darshan this time around! I saw him and his full form literally this time. 

Though there was hardly a moment I cried, except when my father passed away in 1991, taking the path of the Siddhas saw me cry and weep for no reason, or that I comprehended back then. But I never prodded or investigated these happenings. I took it in my stride and moved on. Only my family stood witness to all these strange happenings until others began to notice them at our puja at AVM. But none questioned me. I finally decided to compile and upload some of these moments in a video. Today I can share them as I have understood that it is all part of the process. Let those who can connect and understand these phenomena watch and read with awe and gratitude. As for the others, they shall arrive there soon to accept and believe. 

Writer Balakumaran Aiya, in revealing the video of what had taken place when Yogi Ramsuratkumar touched his head and back after he asked if there was God and if the Yogi could show him, gives us an idea of the often spoken about energies hidden deep within us waiting to be awakened by the touch of a guru. I was glad that he decided to release the video after 22 years. But the TV channel, as with all channels, made it dramatic with their narration and music, as usual. Otherwise, it is an eye-opener of the power of energies within us rarely caught on video. Similarly, someone someday shall be glad that I shared my video, too.

THE PURPOSE & THE JOURNEY

After helping me take a long break of some 13 years from home puja and temple worship with Lord Siva coming through a dream in 1988, after connecting me with Agathiyar and my guru even before I laid my eyes on them coming as the Vasudeva mantra mysteriously in 2001, after connecting me with Agathiyar through a Nadi reading in 2002, after connecting me to my first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, through a proposed astrological reading for my daughter that never took place then in 2003, after connecting me to my second guru, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005 through a pamplet given to me some three years earlier, after bringing me to their abodes and jungles and caves where Tavayogi pointed them out to me as the aroma of sandalwood and as showering flowers in ushering us, and as the nature that was a part of Prapanjam that surrounded us, after connecting both our worlds together through the ritual of lighting the Homam, after coming in the statue of his and opening his eyes in 2010 in the moments of libation or Abhisegam to him, just as he did in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli  in 2005, and have them come over to sit among us and listen to our songs of praises to them, sit and listen with us to the songs of Sadhu Om on the teachings of Bhagawan Ramana, sit and talk and dine with us, Lord Muruga and Agathiyar brought the Heavens and Prapanjam within our home respectively. Agathiyar tells us that he was the Prapanjam. Slowly, he had us lose our hold on his image and his name, on rituals and charity, on reading and discussion. He had each man go within, taking up the tools in Yogam. What he showed me out there in nature and in serving the hungry and poor was felt within the Chakras. The love and compassion developed through the acts of praising the Gods and giving to the unfortunate, which blossomed in us, was now felt within. The soul began to rejoice now. The Kundalini that was aroused by Yogam and awakened, and that made its way to the higher Chakras with the grace of the guru and Agathiyar, she met up with her long-separated partner in the Sahasrara and began to dance in the Bindu to the divine tune and rhythm of the petals opening in the flowering Chakra. The Prapanjam that was felt outside was felt in 72000 Nadis of the soul. Ambrosia, divine nectar and sweetness, flowed. But rather than have me taste the bliss of Sat-Chit-Ananda continuously, Agathiyar chose to bring me back from that state, giving me but only a sample of it. He had a chore for me. I had a purpose in coming here. I needed to be rooted to this material world at least till I complete his mission and desire. Until then as he asked me to do nothing I sit listening to songs just as I did in my schooldays.

SONGS OF BLISS

These blog posts are not my writings, but I believe they are handed down by Agathiyar. In writing them and reading for myself, I am learning with readers, too. I guess this direct transmission would be authentic and true to what he wants to say, rather than learning from another, where the words might be minced, the subject adulterated, or manipulated for personal gains. Is this the manner the Vedas and sacred scriptures came down to the Rishis and Munis, I wonder?  

Although Agathiyar has brought me from Dvaita to Advaita, the bliss and joy can only come in singing his praise through Bakti and devotion. No wonder all the saints took to singing the praises of God, describing their forms and chanting their names. Hence, we have to fall back on Dvaita at times. It becomes necessary and is essential to place his idol before us, adorn him with garlands and flowers, and give him a feast and sing his praise, knowing pretty well at the back of our mind that we are one all the time and all the while. Now I understand why, when I questioned Tavayogi as to why he was building a temple, since he was always asking us to take the leap to Gnanam, he replied that it was not for him but for others. Although he had become Agathiyar, but did it for the others, for they too needed to reach this state of knowing. Now I understand why Supramania Swami wanted to build Lord Muruga's temple. Now I understand why both Agathiyar and Lord Muruga wanted me to build a temple too. I remember a friend asking me why we should sing the praise of the Siddhas and deities in the early years. I answered him that although it was true that they did not need our praise, I asked him to give it a try and see the bliss arise from within in connecting with them. Today I can vouch for it 100%. Just as when I was quite reluctant when Tavayogi asked that I light the fire Homam, asking me to follow suit the ritual that he was doing at Kallar Ashram in the aftermath of the Tsunami in 2004, to appease the wrath of Prapanjam, though I did it, it needed Agathiyar to convince me that I was not doing it for personal gains but for the good of all. Today I have come to learn that this ritual can both bring the Siddhas to us, bridging both our worlds, and can be used to burn or past Karma and sufferings, turning them to ash. To the head of a Peedham though he ran a temple, who ridiculed me for worshiping the statue of Agathiyar, who had just arrived in my home in 2010, though I told him I needed it as I was only 5 years into the worship of the Siddhas and that Agathiyar had asked that I commision him and worship him, I would tell him if he was around now that I am prepared to carry out Puja and rituals again and build a temple now. How else can we bring this bliss that is forever flowering in us now to others if not through Sariyai and Kriyai, for many are not keen and prepared to venture further into Yogam that brings on Gnanam. The mountain is back to being a mountain. Now I know why God sent the little soul to earth for these experiences in Neale Donald Walsch's "The Little Soul and the Sun", and why God took the many Avatars or Avatharam. This bliss is shared by the many saints and their songs, which I have compiled as a playlist, left for us to take up and begin our spiritual journey, too.

Now I understand why one has to adorn the kavi not to impress another but to remind oneself of his true nature always.

LIFE LESSONS

When my wife asked Agathiyar if rituals carried out upon death and after death were necessary, he replied that it was for others but not for us. Today, I have come to realize what he meant by that. If the purpose of coming here is to attain Samadhi, but if it has not been reached, then all these rituals are necessary. For the Jiva that attains the state of Samadhi and leaves the body after 21 days, it is not necessary. Now I understand why Agathiyar told the family of a famed Nadi reader not to carry it out. A close friend of his shared with me further that Agathiyar had disclosed the reason. Agathiyar said that as the Jiva of the deceased was meditating in the hills of Pothigai, he was not to be disturbed nor distracted by the constant calling out to him and remembrance of him through these rituals. Neither is Samadhi about making statues replicating the deceased, and erecting a building around them, which later becomes a temple. True Samadhi is attained while in the body. Now I understand why Agathiyar consoled me when Supramania Swami's wish to be buried at his kudil was not seen through, but instead he was buried in an existing cemetery along the Girivalam path, telling me that it was the right place and it would gain fame.

When I had the calling to see my Nadi in 2002, he asked me to worship the Siddhas. I had no idea about them. I decided to visit the many peedhams, kurukulams, societies, and movements associated with Agathiyar and the Siddhas back then in 2002. But none carried out rituals or puja, or worship of the Siddhas. These movements that were in existence for some time, some since the eighties, were only carrying out charity or had shifted to the teachings of Ramalinga Adigal and worship of Light. In disappointment, I turned to the many books available in the book stores and the internet for guidance, and began to extract certain songs and adapt them for my usage and individual and personal worship and prayer in my home. What initially was meant for personal consumption soon became an aid and a tool to those who came to join my home puja later in 2013, when my home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). I compiled several more books that I then shared online for those seeking help online.

But over the years, life has taught me many lessons. We are here to gain experiences and learn lessons from them, and change our previous judgments and views as we mature and come to know better. We are not here to change others. He or she shall learn the lessons in their own time. This was the lesson I learnt in traveling with Agathiyar. I was overanxious for others to follow too after discovering this path and where it led us. But others did not see it the way I did or the urgency in it. Recently, Agathiyar came and said that it was each individual's fate to either come to it, only to leave the path later, or never know about it. He asks me to tend to my garden and reap the fruits of my effort.

As a friend recently told me, and we agreed that though we are all Buddhas, there can only be one Gautama Buddha. So, can everyone profess that he was following Ramalinga Adigal's teaching and Sudha Sanmargam, but there can only be one Ramalinga Adigal. I guess only one shall shine. But he shall be a beacon to others when their thirst for material things fades and they begin to search for inner peace. 

THE AGATHIYAR - THE BENEVOLENT GURU

I have to thank Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati, for he had mentioned somewhere asking spiritual aspirants to maintain a spiritual diary. Hence, I began to take note and write down. As Tavayogi and I were traveling across India, he asked me what I was writing. I told him that I was taking notes and keeping track of where we went. When Dr.Krishnan, astrologer, Siddha physician, and friend, looking at my horoscope in the nineties, told me that I would write, it never crossed my mind that one day I would do just that, for I was not a writer. I was trained in the technical field. Then Agathiyar asked me to write, and lately asked that I share the internal transformation and changes with readers, stating that we should all know what to expect if we walk this path. 

Born into a family that prayed to all the Gods and Goddesses both at the home altar and in the numerous and various temples we visited, prayer and puja were not alien to me. As a kid, I would join the Sunday classes at the Buddhist Vihara and chant mantras and listen to stories revolving around Buddha. I would attend the Thevaram classes conducted by a teacher of Ceylonese origin at his home. I enrolled in a distance learning course on Christianity based in Singapore, where I received paper-based course materials, and submitted my work through the mail. I was filled in on Islam by a co-traveler of Pakistani origin who was a gardener at our college while traveling by bus to college. In my youth, as I was good at art, I used to draw murals depicting stories from the Puranas on the walls of temples that my brother-in-law, Sundara Arumugam, built in places and towns he was posted to while working with the Public Works Department, namely the Macha Muneeswarar Temple in Simpang Empat, Bagai Serai, and the Raja Rajeshwari temple in Menglembu. After becoming a devotee of Sri Raghavendra, he built the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam in Buntong. When I joined work, I used to carry out puja at dawn and dusk in my bachelor's home and visit the local temples. Then it all stopped after Lord Siva came in a dream and told me to keep my questions to a later date. All the reading about God being compassionate and loving did not tally with what I saw in real life. Friends and relatives were suffering, at times, said to be the work of the deities themselves. I took heed of the dream and took a long break for some 13 years. 

Then Agathiyar came into my life. But I did not know it was his doing then. I only came to know some time later. He sent my nephew to my home to pass on a message from him passed on to my nephews, Paramaguru, who had passed on. The spirit of his Paramaguru came through a fellow university student at a temple that they frequented in Penang during their college days. Together with the message came a mantra delivered through my nephew, who went into a state of trance briefly. It was the Vasudeva Mantra. I began to repeat it as  I was told that it would pave the way for me to meet my guru. This was in 2001. The following year, I read the Nadi and Agathiyar came as my Moola Guru. Since then, he has charted my life. Lord Muruga came in a Nadi reading in 2018 and stated that he had changed my fate and destiny. The Siddhas took my family into their arms and care. Agathiyar showed me two wonderful gurus in human form, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. Asking me to come to worship the Siddhas, he sent others to my home to jointly carry out puja and charity and bring on love and compassion towards others. If my parents brought me to Sariyai, my gurus brought me to Kriyai and Yogam. Agathiyar soon sent me to meet Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan of Kallar Ashram to show me Guru Bakthi and Yogam, respectively. The rituals and devotion brought the Siddhas and gurus down, while Yogam triggered and activated the dormant energies within. Now it was a journey within, towards Gnanam, which I had to walk alone. He ended my association with all things and had me go within. Agathiyar monitored and guided the energy within and brought me to sample the state of Samadhi briefly, something that I came to know from the teachings of Sri Ramakrishna only days ago. After giving a taste of this ambrosia, he pulled me down, having me tend to the little things that I loved doing, keeping me rooted here until my responsibilities, purpose, and task are seen through. 

SAMADHI

Swami Tapasyananda's transliteration, translation, and notes based on Laksmidhara's commentary on "Saundarya Lahiri of Sri Sankaracarya", published by Sri Ramakrishna Math, Mylapore, with cross-reference to Swami Vivekananda and Sri Ramakrishna's works, give added clarity to what Agathiyar said was taking place in me since as early as 2007, after I began to put into practice the techniques Tavayogi gave me. According to Agathiyar, the practice activated the Muladhara and aroused the Kundalini in me as early as 2007. But the energy had ponded at Svadishtana, and as Tavayogi had said that our effort was only till this Chakra and the guru has to come to lead us further, Agathiyar in 2022 came to help burst the bank and release her to travel to the Sahasrara, where the divine Siva-Sakti union and dance took place.

We are told that as the Kundalini, that is Sakti of the individual Jiva, lying dormant in the Muladhara, is awakened and made to pass through the 6 plexuses (Cakras), different subtle dimensions of reality become open to the Jiva, and finally, upon reaching the Sahasrara, the 1000-petalled lotus within which is the Sri Cakra, perfect Samadhi ensues. The center of the Sri Cakra, the Bindu, is the place of Devi in union with Siva. The shower of nectar emerging from her feet saturates the whole body and mind of the Sadhaka with bliss. We are told that in continuously remaining here in this state of Samadhi for some 21 days, the Jiva in us leaves the body. This is true Samadhi. 

But I understood that since Agathiyar had a task awaiting me, he had me go back to my old ways, tending to my plants, listening to songs, watching documentaries, catching up, and living my dreams and desires, until I was ready to take the leap. When one has yet to complete his responsibilities or has a task awaiting, the divine decides not to prolong his temporary stay in this state for the said number of days, but drags him down to worldly matters again. Agathiyar held me back, reviving all my past desires and having me engage in my past hobbies and likes. I know now why I went back to setting up my home sound system, why he provided me a player to listen to the cassettes that were collecting dust. I went back to tending to my plants, watching documentaries, listening to songs to keep me occupied, but the fact was to pull me and bring me away from slipping into the continuous state of Samadhi. He made me attend to these things while awaiting the moment of departure, postponing it for the time being. For Agathiyar said he had yet a task for me. But he had given me a glimpse of Samadhi for now.

Contrary to the common belief that Samadhi is passing away and being laid to rest with a structure built and erected around them, it is going into a state of mind and spirit where the mind and breath settle, watching Siva Saktis' union and dance in the Bindu of the Sahasrara that goes on continuously for 21 days, after which the Jiva leaves the body. I understand now when Agathiyar said I would choose the date I wish to leave.

BECOMING ONE

As we read further from the book, Adi Sankaracharya's "Saundarya Lahiri," we come to know about creation as we are told that "for the fruition of the Karma of countless Jivas and their gradually becoming fit for Moksa, Siva-Sakti commences the dance during which the universe gradually evolves. When they stop, the dissolution takes place." The moment we realize this truth, we come to an understanding. The search ends. We lose our attachment. We lose our Ego. We become free. We settle down. Peace sets in. We come to know our true purpose when it is made known to us. Until then, we go with the flow.

I called over Mahindren to share my findings in reading the book with him. It was truly an enlightening moment as we shared our experiences and the learnings and lessons from them. There comes a time when we begin to see God and the guru as one. I had always asked myself if my guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal was, in fact, Agathiyar walking on our soil. There were many moments when I saw them as one, in the manner of answering questions with another question, and by exhibiting humbleness. There were several moments when I saw the twinkle in Tavayogi's eyes, too. 

When Agathiyar asks me to forget him some time back, I ask him how I could do that? He was my everything. My guru. My God. My breath. He replied with a question: "How can we then be one?" Today, just as he was about to leave, Agathiyar came and hugged both my wife and me. I thanked him. I told him that my Taraga Mantra henceforth shall be "Nandri," or "Thank you". He immediately asks, "Thank you to whom? Thank you for what?" I replied, "To you, my guru for everything", and stated, "Who could have had such a wonderful birth and life?" Again, he asks to whom I was thankful and for what, and asks, "Aren't we one?" What more can one ask for? I remained silent. 

Swami Tapasyananda writes that Sri Ramakrishna expresses this in the parable of the faithful servant. "A gardener works hard and pleases the master with the plentiful produce he raises from the garden. The master, being pleased with him beyond measure, seats him on his own seat and tells him, "You are as dear to me as myself." Ramalinga Adigal also sang that God gave way to him to occupy his seat. When God and the guru accept us, what more is there? 

PRAPANJAM FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

After Agathiyar told us that he was Prapanjam and upon he asking me to move his bronze statue to the home of others whom he wished to see too, and which I readily did, he told me that Prapanjam shall fill my home henceforth, and with Ramalinga Adigal coming and helping us to reach out to her asking us to stretch our arms towards the skies, we began to connect to her, seeing her dwelling and as a part of the world around us. If we saw her as something physical all around us, in the translation of Adi Sankaracharya's "Soundarya Lahiri" that I shared in the last post, we learn that "the Prapanca, here meaning the 72,000 Nadis of the Jiva" or Jeeva or soul in us. This is what Tavayogi says in his book "Andamum Pindamum" that what is in the external is also within. No wonder whenever we become aware and engage with her fully, an energy that is undescribable traverses from top to bottom.

Continuing our study from this book, I understand why Agathiyar said I had stagnated at Svadhisthana. He also said that I was trapped in the happenings of this material world, and there was no way out except through certain practices that he came to give me further. As we read further, we learn that the mind of a worldly man generally moves among the three lower centers, that is, the navel, the sexual organ, and the organ of evacuation. Just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts are until Svadhisthana, and that the guru shall come to lead us on, Agathiyar came to burst the dam and release these energies to ply the route and travel further and higher. My mind, which was trapped in the navel, was rescued when a sudden thug and pull, some two fingers down the navel, which created a swirling sensation in this region over two days and subsequently was felt in the Sahasrara after that, bringing the 1000-petaled lotus to open and bloom in all its majesty. This is the union of Siva and Sakti, we are told. The divine dance had begun. This, according to Sri Ramakrishna, is Samadhi, where the state of Sat-cid-ananda is realized. We read that in this state, generally the life force lingers for 21 days and then passes out, but if God chooses to retain in us the ego, that of either knowledge or devotion, henceforth their minds shall linger, remain, and shall move between the 6th and 7th planes or Cakras.

Kundalini is not something that we can manage by ourselves. We need a guru in the physical form or the Siddhas to monitor her movement in us so that it does us no harm. I had no inkling that it had arisen in me as early as 2007 after putting into practice the Vaasi or Pranayama and Asana practices given by Tavayogi earlier that year. In my Nadi reading later on 13.10.2007, Agathiyar casually mentioned Kundalini, which was the very first time he spoke about it, and said that they were amazed to see it rise in me.

உண்டாகும் குண்டலினி சக்தி உனக்கு உயர்வதைக் கண்டு நாங்கள் வியந்தோம் அப்பா. 

I did not give any thought to it, nor did I investigate further or research it then. I did not see any difference or changes in me back then. I was going about my career and family affairs as usual. 

Patanjali came on 18.5.2008 in the Nadi reading. He said that since the many practices taught and shown and put into practice shall bring on excessive heat within, there was the need to take sattvic food that cools the body, and he lists what to do. This is the second instance the Kundalini is mentioned. He says that the colors of the aura will accentuate further as a result of the awakening. 

ஒப்பிலா உடல் சூடும் தியானத்தால் உனக்குச் சோர்வு வந்திடும் இக்கணம் தன்னில். தான் நீயும் குளிர்ச்சி தரும் பண்டம் தவறாது ஏற்றிட வேண்டும் அப்பா. நிலைத்துத் தான் அங்கத் திடம் ஓங்கச் சிறப்பாக வாரம் ஓர் நாள் மட்டும் செயற்கை உணவு மட்டும் ஏற்கா. மட்டிலா செய், கரி, குரு நாள் தன்னில் மகத்தான மருத்துவத்தின் உணவும் ஏற்பாய் கட்டளைதான் உப்பு, புலி, காரம், இனிப்பும் கண்டிப்பாய் ஆகாது ஏற்க வேண்டாம். பதஞ்சலியின் யோக சூட்சம இதுதான் மைந்தா. வளமிருக்கும் வர்ணமும், ஆதாரமும் சித்தி கொண்டதோர் குண்டலினி ஓங்கும் பாரு. 

30.9.2008 Agathiyar surprised me by saying that the light from the third eye had emerged in me. 

நேர்மையான தவத்தாலே நெற்றிக் கண் ஒளியும், ஒளி அதுவும் உனக்குமே வெளிப்பட்டது இப்போ. 

8.12.2008 Agathiyar throws in another surprise, saying that due to my Vaasi practice or Pranayama, the Suzhimunai and the crown at the top of my head had opened. He assures me that he shall draw all the seven veils aside and have me see the Jothi. He said that he shall pave the way to reach the state of fulfillment and completeness that comes with the state of Soruba Nilai. 

வாசி பயிற்சியாலே சுழி திறந்து உச்சியும் திறக்கக் கண்டாய். ஏழுதிரை தன்னை நீக்கி வழுவாது சோதிதனை கான வைப்போம். வையகத்தில் பூர்த்தி நிலை அடையச் செய்வோம். சொரூப நிலை யாவும் பெற வழியும் செய்வோம். 

27.8.2009 he gives further practice known as Tava Sukmam. Agathiyar mentions that they were sharing the practices that the Siddhas did. 

வெற்றி நிலை மிகுந்து காணத் தவ சூச்சமம் தான் விவரிப்பேன். He spelled out the practice. இரு மண்டலம் செய்வாய் நன்றாய். பக்குவமாய் பயிற்சியும் செய்து  வரப் பலப்படும் ஞான நிலை பலவாறாக. பலவாறு தெளிவு திடம், சிந்தை கீர்த்தி, பிரபஞ்சம் வசிய நிலை திண்ணம். உலகினிலே நாங்கள் செய்த பயிற்சிதான் உவந்து சொன்னோம் உனக்குமே சூச்சம். 

26.12.2009 Agathiyar tells me that Gnanam has dawned on me. Again, he says that the crown of my head has opened. He says that the third eye shall shine. He says that he wanted to gift me treasures and adds that Tavayogi shall grant me the rest. 

ஞானத்தின் திறவுகோல் திறந்த பிள்ளை. உச்சியும்  திறந்த பிள்ளை. முக்கண்ணும் பிரகாசிக்கும். தர வேண்டும் போக்கிடங்கள் என்று நினைத்தோம். தவறாது யோகி வழி உனக்குக் கிட்டும். 

12.7.2010 he says I saw Sadashiva. 

தரணியிலே சதா சிவதை கண்டவன் நீ. 

Believe me, I sincerely did not know, sense, or understand what was being said or taking place. Searching the net, I came to know that it was the highest manifestation of Siva. 

On 9.8.2010, Agathiyar revealed that the heat or Gnana Kanal from the practice or Tapas had risen in me.

உண்டான ஞான கனல் மிகுந்த காலம் உயர்வான காலம் இது இந்தக் காலம். 

Agathiyar on 17.10.2010 gives me the good news and consoles me on the bad, too. What is generally achieved through Hatha yoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja, he said. But he pointed out that my health was declining. He asked to see a physician who could bring it back to its former state. He added that with His grace, I shall recover well.

அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய். ஆனதொரு ஆரோக்கியம் மட்டும் சோடை. ஒளடதமும் பிடகனை அறிந்து ஏற்க்கவே மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்றம் கிட்டும். என் அருளால் பூரணமாய் பரிசுத்தம் காண்பாய். 

Whatever they said did not make any sense until later in 2010, when an excruciating pain in my lower back that came on while in the shower, crippled me momentarily. It ran through my lower back down my right leg. Even then, I could not understand what exactly was taking place.

On 16.1.2011, Agathiyar, who continued to monitor my situation, assured me that all would be fine. He asked me to continue taking the prescription that he gave on 17.10.2010 for another half a Mandalam or 24 days.

வாகடன்கள் தேகத்திற்கு மட்டும் வளத்துடனே அரை மண்டலாம் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள தேகமத்தில் குறை வாரா. 

On 9.8.2011, he acknowledged the blissful state I was in. The graceful light of Arutjothi had increased in its immensity, he said. By taking the Siddha path, which reaches Siddhantam, one gains higher states, he added. 

ஆனந்த நிலை இப்போ அடைந்திருக்கிறாய். அருள் ஜோதி நிலை பெருகி உள்ளத்தப்பா. விளம்பலாம் சித்தாந்தம் மார்க்கம் தொட்டு சுத்தமுடன் சித்தர் வழி சமயம்பற்றி வின்னமில்லா நிலை பலதும் அடைந்துவிட்டாய். 

After the doctors gave me a clean bill of health, I consulted the Nadi on 26.11. 2011. Agathiyar revealed that the Muladhara Chakra had gained intense heat, hence shutting my systems down. To add to it, my three Doshas, Vata, Kapha, and Pita, were thrown off balance and not in the ratio that keeps good health. 

உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும் உயர் விதமாய் உட்டனங்கள் அடைந்ததனாலே உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வும் தேகம் தன்னில். உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திருப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சம நிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்க சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்க்கும் அச்சம் மிதந்து. 

On 15.2.2013, Agathiyar reiterated that my crown was open and I had gained Mukthi. He asks to stop the search. He shall come for me, he said. 

உச்சி திறந்த மைந்தன் நீ அறிவாய் இன்றோ. சுழி திறந்து முக்தி கண்டாய். தேடிய நாடிய காலமெல்லாம் போதும். தேடி வந்து அருள் செய்வோம் இனித்தான் உனக்கு. 

21.9.2014 Agathiyar speaks about the chakras functioning perfectly. The Suzhimunai was opened, he repeated again. 

ஆதாரம் முறையாய் விளங்கி நிற்கும். முனை திறந்து இருக்கிறாய் இப்போ. 

He asked that I write about the Siddha Marga. He shall induce me to write, he said. 

தக்கதொரு எழுதிடுவாய் சித்த மார்க்கம் பற்றி. எழுத வைப்போம் சிந்தையிலே கலந்து நாங்கள். 

28.3.2015 Agathiyar tells me I had gained his Jothi and had opened the crown chakra. 

நீ உலகில் என் ஜோதியைப் பெற்று விட்டாய். திறந்தோமே உட்சியும் உனக்கும் மைந்தா. 

He thanks me for bringing others into the path through my writings. 

உண்மையான மார்க்கத்தை உலகிற்கு ஓதி உயர் நிலையைப் பலர் அடைய வைத்தவன். 

He says my home, which was his Vanam, has transitioned into Gnanakottam. Those arriving at my home shall attain the state of Gnanam, he adds. He shall grant his grace here. They shall receive his Arul, Tavam, and Aasi. 

இல்லமதும் ஞான கோட்டமாகி இறை ஞான நிலை அடைவார் வருவோர் எல்லாம். அருள் புரிந்தோம் ஞான கோட்டம் தன்னில். அருள் தவம் ஆசி பெற வழிவகுத்தோம். 

On 28.8.2015, Agathiyar mentioned further the changes that had taken place within me, which I was not aware of, and were news to me. He said that his Jothi has expanded in me, and the Suzhimunai has opened. 

தேகத்தில் மாற்றங்கள் பெற்று இருக்காய். அகத்துக்குள் அகத்தின் ஜோதி பெருகி தேகத்தில் பல மாற்றம் பல சக்தி கிட்டி முனை திரண்டு இருப்பாயே. 

On 18.11.2017, Agathiyar in the Nadi says I was instrumental in some way towards the change others went through. He wants me to maintain a low profile and remain out of the limelight. 

அருள் நிலைகள் பெற்றிருக்கின்றார் பல மாந்தரும். மாற்றங்கள் பலர் அடையக் காரணமாய் இருந்தாய். குவலயத்தில் ஒன்றுமே தெரியாதவன் போல் அமர்ந்திருப்பாய். 

In 2018, the pain came back with the same intensity as originally, when a sneeze came over me as I was crossing a street. Shortly after, on 7.10.2018, Agathiyar in the Nadi says that my breath was dislodged and blocked. It had happened in my sleep, he said. 

உனக்குத்தான் நித்திரை தவ வாசி காலம் வாசியும் சீர் பிசகி முடங்கித் தான் இருக்கு. 

On 8.10.2018, Lord Murugan in the Nadi said that, as age had caught up with me, my spine and hips were tensed. The inner gel at these joints had dried up. This was the reason for the acute pain I was having. He added that with some treatment done earlier, a quarter of the issue was overcome. He told me why I had to go through the suffering. It was to have me sit in one place and do Tapas. 

நின் தேகம் தளருது அப்பா. இந்தக் காலம் உன்னுடைய முதுகு எலும்பும் இடுப்பும் சேரும் எலும்பு சந்திப்பெல்லாம் தானே ஒருவித இறுக்கமாய் இருக்குது அப்பா. அங்கே இருந்திட்ட தைலம் அது உலர்ந்து போனது அப்பா. இதுதான் உண்மை. ஆச்சப்பா மின்னல் போன்று வலி தோன்றும் அங்கே. அப்போது தான் துடிதுடித்து நிற்பாய் அப்பா. உனக்கு மருத்துவம் சில செய்ததாலே மாற்றங்கள் கால் பங்கு குணமாகக் கண்டேன். சாற்றனல் இது எதற்கென்று கேள். அகத்தில் நீ அமர்ந்து தவம் தியானம் செய்யச் செப்புகிறேன். அலைச்சலை தவிர்த்துக் கொள்ளு. சில காலம் பனி வேண்டும் என்ன செய்ய. அதற்குத்தான் வர்மா தைலம் வாங்கி அப்பா உன் முதுகு எலும்பில் தடவி தானே வெந்நீரில் ஒத்தடம் தருவாய். சிறப்பாக நரம்புதனை எலும்பு தனை வலுவாகும் லேகியம் இதுவே. இது உன் மேனி திடம் ஆக்குதற்கு சொல்லும் வாக்கு. திறம்படவே நீ நடமாட வேண்டும் அப்பா. தீர்க்கமாய் அதற்குத் தான் நூல் உரைக்க வந்தேன். வந்ததும் சுப்ரமணியன் கட்டளையாக. 

He praises me for keeping a low profile yet spreading the wisdom of Agathiyar. 

இந்தத் தேசத்தில் சத்தமின்றி அகத்தியரைப் பலருக்கு நீ காட்டினாய் அப்பா. உன் தொண்டை மெச்சுகின்றேன். 

The pain was extremely intense. But neither Agathiyar nor Lord Muruga abandoned me. The next day,  9.10.2018, Lord Murugan comes in a Nadi reading for another devotee and explains how he healed me the night before. "I did treat him yesterday. I have removed his pain. I came as his Jeeva and as the Jeeva Nool or Nadi and treated him. I spoke (through the Nadi) and came (through the devotee) at the same time. I removed his pain by stroking his body with the peacock feathers. He shall gain by sitting in meditation." 

செய்தித்தேன் மருத்துவம் யான் கூட நேற்று. மெய்யாக அவன் வலியைப் போக்கினேன். ஜீவ நூலாய் ஜீவனாய் இறங்கி பங்காக அவன் உடலைச் சார்ந்திருந்தது அவனுக்குச் சிகிச்சை செய்தோம். ஆறுமுகன் பேசினேன் இறங்கினேன் ஒரு கணத்தில். நன்றாய் மயில் இராகு கொண்டு சண்முகத்தின் தேகத்தை தடவிய அவன் வலியைப் போக்கினேன். மைந்தனவன் தியான வழி சிந்தைகொள்ள அவன் தனக்கு சக்தி பெருகும். 

On 5.9.2019, Agathiyar came to reveal the reason I fell and lay in front of my bathroom door, crawling or slithering in pain like a snake. This was when he had me sleep in my puja room downstairs. As I wanted to pee in the middle of the night, as I got up, I fell before him. Making my way to the living room, I fell again just before I placed my feet on the staircase to go upstairs. He said the slithering was a sign of Kundalini that had arisen, beginning to move. Her arousal had churned up the heat and fire within. True to what Agathiyar said, it was blissful at the same time. He mentioned further that the third eye and the crown had opened, and I was partaking of the ambrosia within. 

மும்மலங்கள் அற்றதொரு தேகம் என்பதாலே, முக்கணும் முறை திறந்து உட்சியும் திறந்து, குண்டலினி உயர்ந்து தான் கனல் எழும்பி, அமிர்தத்தை இடை விடாது உண்டு கொண்டு இருக்கிறாய். குண்டலினி சக்தி எல்லாம் எழும்புவது எல்லாம் குவளையத்தில் பாம்பின் போன்று நெளிய நேரும். ஆனால் ஆனந்தம் ஆனந்தம் அதுதான் என்போம்.

Ramalinga Adigal came on 29.11.2019 and hugged those gathered, inviting us to invite the light within. "Arutperunjothi has taken possession of you. Open up your Atma. Open up your heart to receive him. The Jothi shall come within and embed in you. We are slaves to this Jothi. I am a slave too."

அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ... வாரும் ஐயா …  அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆட்கொண்டானப்ப ... மற்றவர்களும் வாரும் ... உங்களையும் ஆட்கொண்டானப்ப … உங்கள் ஆத்மவை திறந்து வையுங்கள் ... உங்கள் இதயத்தைத் திறந்து வையுங்கள்... ஜோதியினை உன்னுள் பதிந்தது. ஜோதியினை நீ இணைந்து விடு.  ஜோதியினை பிரகாசிக்கச்செய். ஆழ்ந்து போ. அனைவரும் ஜோதிக்கு அடிமை. அடியேனும் அடிமை. 

On 24.12.2019, Agathiyar, in this final Nadi reading for me, reveals what Gnanam is. The art of transforming the Asudha Degam into a Sudha Degam and later into the Pranava Degam and finally into the Oli Degam is indeed Gnanam. Gnanam then is in knowing this art and making the transformation happen. For this to take place, observe the breath, he says. I needed to know the Tattvas, too, he adds.

அசுத்த தேகம் சுத்த தேகமாகி பிரணவ தேகமாகி ஒளி தேகமாகும் வித்தையே ஞானம். அதற்குத் தியானத்தில் வாசியைக் கவனி. உடல் குறு தத்துவங்களை அறிய வேண்டும். 

On 30.1.2020, Agathiyar surprised me by asking me to restart the Vaasi or Pranayama practice learned from Tavayogi that he had asked to discontinue at the peak of my back pain in 2010. He said this was the right time to start this practice, as currently, my breath was at Svadhishthana, and that it was about time it opened up. He asks that I sit before him and meditate. During these moments, I was to carry out the cleansing breath as taught by Tavayogi. Just the important ones he added. He asks to remain silent in these moments and focus on my breath. He said that I shall sense a coolness within. The breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl, he said. He asks to travel along my seven Chakras. That journey shall awaken my Chakras, he said further. Finally, he said that after traversing these Chakras, when it touches the seventh, I shall know my purpose here.

இத்தருணம் மான் மூச்சு குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்பொழுதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்து விடும். தினமும் காலையில் குளித்து வெறும் வேஷ்டி அணிந்து என் முன் அமர்ந்து தியானம் செய்து வா. தியான முறையின் பொது உமது குரு கூறிய சுவாச சுத்திகரிப்பு பயிற்சியினை செய்து வா. அனைத்தும் வேண்டாம். மூல பயிற்சி மட்டும் போதும். அதை நீ செய்து வர உனக்குள் ஒரு தனி குளிர்ச்சி ஏற்படும். அந்நிலையில் நீ அமைதி கோல். உனது மூச்சில் கவனம் கோல். உமது மூச்சு உமது சுழிமுனை தோட்டு சூழும். உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய். அப்பயணம் உமது சக்கரங்கள் ஒவ்வொன்றாய் பூர்த்தி செய்யும். மூலாதாரம், ஸ்வாதிஷ்டானம், மணிபூரகம், அனாகதம், விசுத்தி, ஆக்கினையென ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய்.

Ramalinga Adigal came on 14.5.2020 to explain further that when I reach his state, an energy will come within without my knowledge. That is Suzhimunai, he said.

எனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது உன்னை அறியாது உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும். அதுவே சுழிமுனை.

Agathiyar allayed my fear, telling me that I shall witness many changes taking place within. He asks not to fear as he lists them out. Due to the activation of the Chakras, he said, my body shall emit a foul smell. I shall have constipation. I shall urinate often. He added that the "Agathiyar Kuzhambu," a herbal preparation that detoxifies, which I took on 27 June 2022, helped in expelling the excesses in the three Doshas, bringing on a balance. But he also said that there is still more filth that shall have to be expelled in due time. He asks to take lots of warm water. He asks to carry out the said practice. 

உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்கள் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள், துர்நாற்றம் வீசும், மல சிக்கல் ஏற்படும், கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். வெந்நீர் அதிகம் அருந்து. அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாத, பித்த, கபம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். இப்பயிற்சியினை மேற்கோள்.

The pain that I had endured in the years between 2010 and 2012 in my lower back originally, over time moved to the groin, at times the left and other times the right, and the testes, and later to the chest, and then the left of my neck and the back of my head. It resulted in pain in the left ear, too. The pain and discomfort after holding base at those places mentioned would leave after several days on its own accord for the next campsite. Excessive wind would be expelled from the body during these times. 

On 22.8.2022, upon waking up and stretching myself in bed at 6.40am, I felt a pull and a tug of a nerve right below the navel. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chillness. My whole body became numb right to the tips. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge to pee and urine. I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet, picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine. It was blissful, though.

The next day, I woke up at 7.20am to go to the loo, but I could not pee. I fell again. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I lay like a dead log on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso, I was able to see, hear, and talk, and was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Soon, the experience went away. 

Seeking answers to what had taken place, Agathiyar cleared the air later. He told me not to worry and said that the stagnated "water" was released. Nevertheless, he gives a warning to all of us. When the chakras are activated late in life, it can have some adverse results on our bodies. When the heat of Tapas increases in our body, blood flow will be less, bringing on numbness. This would result in urinary and excretory problems. 

கவலை கொள்ள ஒன்றுமில்லை. தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. ஆனபோதும் முதிர்ந்த நிலையில் சக்கரங்கள் திறப்பதனால் உதிர வாட்டம் கொண்டுள்ளது. ஆகையால் எண்கள் மேரு பெறும். ஆங்கில மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதனைச் சுத்தம் செய்து கோல். முதிர்ச்சியில் சக்கரங்கள் திறக்கும்போது அவ்வுடல் சில பாதிப்பினை ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளும். ஆகையால் மருத்துவம் உனக்குத் தேவை. உனது உடலில் உஷ்ணம் ஏற ஏற உதிரம் குறையும். உதிரம் குறைந்தால் உடல் மறுத்துப் போகும். உடல் மறுத்துப் போனால் சிறுநீர் கோளாறு கழிவில் கோளாறு. மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதைச் சீர் படுத்திக் கொள்.

Ramalinga Adigal tells me, "Use your breath to fan the Jothi. It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. Now it does not move in both nostrils. When it travels in both nostrils, you shall then rest in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it. The changes in you are but discharges. It shall leave your body. Do not worry. What you are doing is Tavam. Agathiyan has accepted and received it. We shall continue working on your insides and from within. 

பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச்செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். நாடி சுத்தி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். இப்போது இரு நாசியில் செல்ல வில்லை. இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து இருப்பாய். தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம். முயற்சி யாவும் அகத்தியன் பெற்று விட்டான். உள்ளிருந்து யாவும் நடத்துவோம்.

The swirling sensation felt for several weeks in the abdomen just below my navel was regularly felt in the crown of my head, but with a lesser intensity. I guess this is what Agathiyar meant when he said I shall feel a magnetic wave arise. A couple of days later, it seemed more like a flowering of petals and was blissful. 

On 19.10.2022, as I lay on my sofa in the living room with my eyes closed, my finger that was touching the crown of my head could feel a pulse. This is usually observed in small children. Agathiyar told me not to let anyone lay their hands on my head. It was there for some time. A chillness and swirling that is akin to a flowering, more intense each time I bring my attention to it,  goes on irrespective of my daily activities. Following the flowering in the crown that goes on without my participation or action, I asked Agathiyar what I should do further. His reply was to do nothing and that it shall do its work. Agathiyar said the energies will do the rest. 

On 7.5.2023, I threw up bile (pittam) and phlegm (kapam) and expelled wind (vaatam) all at a go. It was as if a dam had been opened. It was painful, bitter, and distasteful. The dinner I took came with it. Though disgusting to air and read, I have to relate the phases as Agathiyar had told me that my readers should be made aware of the changes that come with the asking for Siddhahood. While I threw up, I was laughing away, as it was blissful, just as Agathiyar had pointed out some years back when I writhed in pain as the body spontaneously slithered like a snake. The body pains that came on during the day vanished after throwing up. 

The whole body aches, pain felt in the left testicle, the numbness that Agathiyar spoke about in the fingers, and the drying out of gel in the knees that Agathiyar had previously mentioned became obvious. As old age and deteriorating health could contribute to all these signs and symptoms, I went for a medical checkup and was given a clean slate. I guess these are the workings of the mysterious energies that once lay dormant and asleep, working their way up and beyond, as Agathiyar mentioned. The swirling in the crown of the head comes on as it pleases without my effort. It drenches my brain to say. It cools my head.  Sexual urges were in overdrive. I guess I understand now why big names in this industry have flawed and fell. The house is in a mess as these renovations are taking place within. It is the price we pay for eternal bliss that comes with the coarser vibrations and the frequencies in the gross matter reaching subtler nature and finer levels of tuning, materialization, and existence. 

What can I say of the Siddhas? If Tavayogi, in bringing me to the abodes of the Siddhas in the jungles, pointed to the skies and told me the Siddhas were showering us with flower petals, Agathiyar told me that the skies had opened up both in Kallar and AVM during his Jayanthi puja. During a Sivarathri, he said that the Prapanjam had split open and was showering its goodness on those who tap it. What was shown to me outside began to be seen and experienced within. Taking up the practice that Tavayogi gave, and in going within, as Agathiyar directed, the opening of the Chakras and their subsequent flowering began. Contrary to the hype that raising the Kundalini brings on powers or control or Siddhis, I came to understand that, in fact, it leads us to gaining Gnanam or divine wisdom. Agathiyar reiterated that when one starts the journey of going within, the result is Gnanam. Agathiyar said that all this while I had gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnanam. Now it was time to gain Gnanam that was going to serve me. Agathiyar says just as no one can predict the path the Kundalini takes, so is it with Gnanam, that it shall vary among people. Hence, he says that he cannot say exactly what shall take place.

ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது. நீ இதுவரையில் கண்ட ஞானம் உலக வாழ்க்கை ஞானம். இனி காணப்போவது உனக்கான ஞானம்.

True enough, that is what he told another soul who is going through this phase. Agathiyar has me translate and pass her the message that came through a devotee on 16.5.2025. He spoke about the breath. He said that one needs to bring more Prana into the cells through the practice of Pranayama. He explains that as each action of ours and its corresponding experiences are registered in these cells, for one who is keen to see these changes, he or she has to pick up the tool that is Pranayama. In doing so, the Pranayama within will be energized and bring forth certain chemical reactions. One has to feed the burning fire within, thus cleansing the body. He says that with extreme activity in the third eye comes a cooling effect in the crown of the head. She was asked not to mind this but again to focus on the breath. With the swirling of the Chakras, the body would become lethargic and weak. To correct this, she has to do Yoga practices both in the mornings and evenings. He adds that one has to be diligent and serious in doing these practices. This will rid the inconveniences and discomfort in the body and with the internal cleansing, the Chakras will be pushed to higher levels. In these instances, one has to stay focused and not be led astray by the results. 

ஒரு மனிதன் தன்னுடைய வாழ்நாளில் செய்யக்கூடிய அணைத்து செயல்களும், இந்த உடலில் ஒவ்வொரு அணுக்களிலும் பதிவு செய்யப்படுகிறது. அந்த செயல் பாட்டின் வினை பொருளாகத்தான் அவன் அனுபவங்களும் அமையக் கூடும். அதைக் கடக்க எண்ணுபவன், சில வித்தைகளைக் கையாள வேண்டும். அதாவது உடலில் உள்ள ஒவ்வொரு அணுக்களிலும் இருக்கக் கூடிய அனுபவ அலைகளைப் பிரித்து எடுத்து தீக்கு இரையாகி அதனைக் கொண்டே உடலைத் தூய்மை செய்தல் வேண்டும். இதைச் சித்தர் வழிமுறைகளைக் கொண்டே செய்யவல்லது தகுந்த ஒன்றாகும். உடலை ஒரு கருவியாக்கி சுவாச பயிற்சி மூலமாக ஒவ்வொரு அணுக்களிலும் ஊடுருவ வேண்டும். 

இதனை மேற்கொள்ளும்போது, உடலில் பிரதானமாக இருக்கக்கூடிய பிராண வாயு சீர் செய்யப் பட்டு சில திரவியங்களை உட்பத்திற்குள்ளாகும். அந்த தருணத்தில், மன அலைகள் சிதறாமல் ஒரு முக படுத்தி சுவாசத்தை ஒன்று திரட்டிக்கொண்டே இருக்கப் பழகிக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். 

கண் புருவ பூட்டில் பிராணாவாயுவின் அழுத்தம் காரணமாகவும் அதன் பிரதி பலனாக  சிரசில் குளிர்ச்சி உண்டாகுவதும் இயற்கையே. அதனைப் பொருட்படுத்தாமல் சுவாசத்திலே திளைத்திருத்தல் நல்ல பலனைத் தரும். 

சக்கரங்களின் சுழற்சி மிகுதியால் உடல் சற்று தொய்வுற்றே இருக்கும், அதனைச் சரி செய்யவே காலையும் மாலையும் யோகத்தில் ஈடுபட்டு வர, உடல் உபாதைகள் நீங்கி தூய்மை பெறவே சக்கரங்கள் மேல்நிலைக்குத் தள்ளப்படும். அதுவரை செய்யும் முயற்சிகளை ஊக்கத்தோடு செய்து வருக.

A NOTE OF APPRECIATION

Besides the evolution of the soul, life is a journey through the elements. Just as the sea water evaporates into steam and hot air rising to form the clouds and rain in the peaks, and making its way back to the sea, in this sea of existence, we begin to sail back to the source, from whence we came. We, too, transform in many ways, physically, emotionally, and so on, and return either for better or for worse. 

If we read the last moments of Adi Shankaracharya in the last post, where "There came a concourse of Rishis and Devas with Brahma at their head, to lead this incarnate of Siva back to his pristine state in Sivaloka in the heaven of Kailasa. The assemblage of luminous chariots filled the heavenly paths. The celestials rained a heavy shower of mandara flowers over the region and sang the glory of Lord Siva, who had taken the form of a Sannyasin. "Thou hast accomplished the mission for which thou didst manifest in the world. Do come now into our midst in thy heavenly abode," addressed the Devas. Indra and his retinue now raised their voice in a chorus of hymns and began to rain flowers, while the great sannyasin, mounting the back of the divine bull Nandi, transformed himself into his real form as the Lord Siva with matted locks and the crescent moon. He attained his divine abode" (Source: "Sankara Digvijaya" by Madhava Vidyaranya, published by Sri Ramakrishna Math, Madras). 

How would our last days be? Shouldn't we work on gaining his grace now? Would we be fit to utter his name in the last moments of our lives? Agathiyar, who is said to have authored a song, lists all these, asking us these questions that are food for thought while living right now.

Everything was beautiful until man came along. Men in the past lived closely with nature, adored and worshipped it. Hence, he would not lay his hands on her. Soon, he became inconsiderate of her dozing through the jungles with heavy machinery and bringing on instant destruction. These days, he causes even more destruction to both people and nature with weapons of war, practically leveling them to the ground. What does man want these days? Isn't whatever he has in his hands enough? Why the greed for more money, land, possession, and followers? Why these religious wars? While the destruction goes on, some souls attend to nature, appreciate it, and make the effort to preserve it. These are the unsung heroes. When the media gives extensive coverage to the destruction and its perpetrators, unknowingly making them even more famous, these unsung heroes go about in their small ways to do their part in giving back to nature. If the media does not cover these bad elements, giving attention and air time, the good shall shine, right? 

At times, I feel that I want to disassociate with man completely. I cannot stomach his ways. But Agathiyar, coming in a Nadi reading for a young man, had a few words of solace and consoled me that it was the work of Karma. He reminded me that he was with me and not to worry and not to become confused. 

I am indebted to many in this life. I am grateful to my parents, siblings, family, gurus, the Siddhas, and the divine, and finally Prapanjam that encompasses all in its belly. I have yet to know who the gurus were that my father came to meet and serve in his ashram when he returned to India back in those days. As we were kids, we never asked him about this. But he must have learned and picked up some art, though we never saw him practice any. Neither was he religious and into rituals or temple visits. But he had faith and belief and would raise his hands before our home altar and talk to God verbally, making known his wishes. The last moments of his passing were truly beautiful. Having watched a Tamil movie on the television, he asked my mother to make him some coffee, which he had never requested of her all the years, always making his own. That morning, he asked her to iron out his shirt and vesti, this too he had never asked before. When coffee was done and my mother came out of the kitchen to hand it to him, he was not in his usual spot. His chair, which was always next to the entrance door, was empty. Instead, he was sitting on the floor cross-legged in the opposite corner. She placed the coffee down when she saw that the pupils of his eyes were gazing up. As she placed her hands on his shoulder, he toppled over onto her lap and passed away. He was 76 in 1991. He came to me in a dream later, just standing beside a doorway, saying nothing.

My mother, who lived another 20 years on to a ripe old age of 96, said that she was going to sleep. These were her last words to us, lying on the hospital bed. 

My very first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, told me over the phone that he was going to observe silence, initially for 48 days beginning on the eve of Thaipusam. But several days into the silence, I mistakenly called him, forgetting the fast he was undertaking. But he answered. I apologized for making him break his "fast". But, telling me he would talk to me, he told me that he wanted to extend it to 60 days. He asks me to feed the people upon accomplishing this. He also told me that he had seen the Jothi. The day he passed on, my wife called me at the office, telling me that his wife was crying over the phone. When I reached home after work, I spoke to Swami's wife. She passed me the news. I consoled her, telling her that he had seen the Jothi, the reason we are born. He passed away on 7 February 2006 at the age of 76. Swami had told me that he would pass away at this age and pointed to his prayer room, where he should be laid to rest, when I was with him in 2005. Though he had desired to be laid to rest at his kudil, a Swamiji of a nearby ashram for whom Ramajayam, his son, was working for send over several of his disciples to see through the last rites and had him buried in a cemetery along the path of Girivalam. I was saddened upon hearing this, but Agathiyar, coming in my Nadi reading that weekend, told me that it was the right spot and he would attain fame. One day, after I had finished my morning puja, there was a strong smell of tobacco in my home. My thoughts went to Swami, asking if he was there because he smokes a cigar. Almost immediately, my phone rings, and his number appears. It was a misscall. I knew from his son that the line was terminated upon his demise. Several days later, returning from work, I shared this with my nephew, who knew him too, having been to his kudil too. Ending the conversation, there was another miscall from him. I called the number, and someone answered on the other end. His number was apparently taken up by someone else in Coimbatore. During a Sivarathri puja, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, who came through a devotee, told us that he had brought Supramania Swami with him. If Supramania Swami had brought the Yogi into his home while I was there, this time around, the Yogi brought him with him. The Yogi had previously turned the tables on a devotee who tried to outsmart him. As the Siddhas came through a devotee, his friend wanted to know when it was him speaking and when the divine was using him. So she decided to speak to him in English. If he answered, that was her friend speaking. So when she kept asking him in English, "Hi buddy, are you okay?", the Yogi came and answered, identifying himself as the Beggar has come. Though stunned for that moment, we all had a good laugh later. 

My second guru, Tavayogi, too came through this devotee and joked that he had slimmed down for the devotee was physically slim. We all had a good laugh. Tavayogi passed away at the age of 76, too, on 3 July 2018. Kogie Pillai of South Africa had a dream just days after the passing of Tavayogi, where she saw him with others dressed in white sitting on a boat heading for a distant mountain. Lord Siva was taking them across. Later, Dhavanthri came and told us that, whatever others may say of his death after being hospitalized, he had reached the state of Jothi. Agathiyar too told us that he should be the one to guide us further, but since he was called to carry out their work in their realm, Agathiyar had to come himself to guide us further.

Molly Menon, who was later bestowed the name Jnana Jothi by Agathiyar, a Keralite who studied in Chennai later and followed her husband, who was a Surgeon in the Military, to the USA, read my journeys with Supramania Swami and Tavayogi on my website indianheartbeat in 2011 and made her way to Kallar Ashram. She, who became a devout devotee of Agathiyar, who guided her through numerous Nadi readings, was isolated from all in Chennai for some time, where she had the Siddhas take care of her in mysterious ways. When she succumbed to extreme pain, one that I knew and could feel as she cried over the phone speaking to me, and passed away, we were told that she had cancer. She had joined the fold of many other masters and gurus like Bhagawan Ramana, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, and Sri Ramakrishna. But she was promised a royal birth next time around by Agathiyar. 

There was a time when I began to listen continuously to Sadhu Om's songs on Bhagawan Ramana's teachings set to music and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy. Then on another Sivarathri, Bhagawan came just as Yogi Ramsuratkumar had come earlier on a Sivathri, after listening to these songs. Recently, I was drawn to Adi Sankaracharya's songs. When going over to pay our respect to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar of Kallar Ashram, who is in Malaysia, I met up with another devotee and an AVM family member. Their son had a Jeeva Nadi reading. I was surprised by Agathiyar calling me in towards the end of his reading and had a few words to say to me, too. Agathiyar revealed that this lad, who had just attained 21, was a former disciple of Adi Shankara. What a coincidence, or is it? Back then, a few others and I were asked to go to Sringeri Madam in our Nadi readings. But we never made it. Now, what is our connection with Adi Shankara, we wonder? 

Looking up his songs on the net, I found several that I have shared in an earlier post. One of them was "Saundarya Lahiri". Looking up my library of books, I found this book that I had purchased in 2005. It was "Saundarya Lahiri of Sri Sankaracarya" with transliteration, translation, and notes based on Laksmidhara's commentary by Swami Tapasyananda, published by Sri Ramakrishna Math, Mylapore. The very first page I turned to carried a transliteration in English of the original in Sanskrit, a much-awaited message for me on the descent of the Kundalini after Samadhi to the Muladhara.

 

Drenching the whole manifested multiplicity (the Prapanca, here meaning the 72,000 Nadis of the Jiva) with the nectar flowing from thy feet, thou (the Kundalini representing Tripurasundari) descendest from the exuberance of the nectarine radiance of the moon (here the Sahasrara where the Kundalini unites with Siva) into the hollow of thy own sphere in the Muladhara at the lower end of the Sushumna assuming thy serpentine form (of 3 1/2 coils) and sleepest therein.

We are given further explanation, as the Kundalini that is Sakti of the individual Jiva, lying dormant in the Muladhara, is awakened and made to pass through the 6 plexuses (Cakras), different subtle dimensions of reality become open to the Jiva, and finally, upon reaching the Sahasrara, the 1000-petalled lotus within which is the Sri Cakra, perfect Samadhi ensues. The center of the Sri Cakra, the Bindu, is the place of Devi in union with Siva. The shower of nectar emerging from her feet saturates the whole body and mind of the Sadhaka with bliss. 

Adi Sankaracharya, through Swami Tapasyananda, has revealed what took place and is still going on in me. It was about this time that I was passed on to Vaalai Thaai and asked to worship her. Agathiyar brought us to AVM to worship the other aspects of her, namely, Devi Bala Tripurasundari, Balambikai, Manonmani, Bhuvaneshwari, Balambigai, and Vaalai Parameshwari. For this purpose, I compiled a book that carried songs of praise appropriate to her. 

This is where Agathiyar, coming these days through devotees, had cautioned me to drop my anger for the Kundalini that had arisen, would drop to lower regions, he warned, if not managed. He often comes asking me if he should run another class on anger management. There was once, back in the days of my regular Nadi readings, were he took a solid hour to talk to me about it and tested me immediately to see if I held my cool. I failed badly in these tests. 

Swami Tapasyananda explains further that, from the Sahasrara, the Kundalini again descends to the Muladhara if she is still in identification with all the past impressions and tendencies born of the Karmas of the Jiva. Quoting Swami Vivekananda from his "Raja Yoga", he continues that only in the case of those whose minds have been erased of all impressions does the Kundalini remain in complete absorption in Siva in the Sahasrara, and the Samadhi remains spontaneous and continuous and even irrevokable. The higher evolution of the jiva is completed, and absolute consciousness, which is absolute bliss too, is attained. He adds that Sri Ramakrishna would create false desires so that they might exercise a downward pull on the Kundalini and prevent her absolute mergence in Siva. Now I fully understand why anger and sexual thoughts, and urges come on. I shall drop my guilt and lay it down henceforth. Yes, I speak the truth and shame the devil.