Looking back now, all the puzzle pieces are falling into place. I understand whatever took place back then, traveling the path. The many mystical and mind-blowing experiences that I encountered, or rather the Soul arranged for me to have in India, under the watchful eyes of Tavayogi, for instance, Agathiyar opening his left eye in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, the sacred ash that Tavayogi had in his hands, without his knowledge, in the caves of Uthiyur, and bringing me to revisit the Twilight Zone that was Palani. These amazing happenings continued upon my return home, too, as I wrote in the last post.
Traveling together to a temple under construction in Bukit Rotan with me behind the wheel, I played the songs of Ramalinga Adigal in my car. He listened intently to the song titled "Aaniponnambala Kaatchi" and went on to sing along. Literally, the verses describe a journey that Ramalinga Adigal took on the physical and mystical planes. With whatever little Tamil I know, I am giving a translation as follows.
"As I walked on the Path, there was a Platform. I climbed the Platform. There was a Room. As I approached the Room, there was a 7 tier Hall above it. I cannot bring myself to narrate what I saw in these 7 tiers. In one tier, the silver Pearl transformed into Blue Sapphire (Neelam), in another tier, the Blue Sapphire became Coral (Pavalam). In another tier, the Emerald (Maragatham) became Ruby (Maanikkam). Yet in another tier, it became a Pearl, and back to Coral in another tier. Then, on another tier, the gems became Gold. All these gems became Spadigams in yet another tier. Above these 7 tiers, there was a staff. Climbing the staff, what can I say of that which I saw? There were thousands of Sakthis everywhere, who came to entice me, but I remained undeterred and strong due to the Divine Grace. Due to his Grace, I saw the Jewel of the Crown. I saw a Peak atop the Crown, above this, there were 1008 Temples. As I entered through the Arch at the Temple without hesitation, within the Entrance, there stood both Sakthis and Saktas in millions. They began to question who this trespasser was as I moved on. At another Entrance, there stood five; the others showed the Way, yet to another Doorway. As I entered, a male and a female showed me to yet another Doorway. At the Doorway, my Mother, the Goddess Anandha Valli, stood to welcome me. I saw her and submitted to her Grace, and partook of the Divine Nectar. With her grace, I saw my father's Abode. I stepped into his Abode. Who could possibly understand the Gift I was showered by my father, Lord Nadarajah?"
From "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingar" published by Sahitya Akademi, S Vanmikanathan translates this song as follows.
There appeared a mountain of effulgence, and on that was a street. I went along that street, and in its center, there was a platform. I climbed onto that platform, and on that platform, there was a hall. When I approached the hall, on top of that hall, I saw a seven-storeyed tower. What shall I say of the wonders that were on the seven storeys? On top of the seven storeys there was a golden pillar. When I beheld the pillar and climbed on it, what shall I say of the novelties I saw! It is not within my capacity to describe what met me as I climbed on. At several stages, Sakthi-s, in thousands and thousands, came. They came and tried to bewitch me, but that I may not be bewitched, I gained a power of grace. By that power, I climbed up that pillar and spied the jeweled crest. On top of the crest there stood a dome that I saw. On top of that dome, there was a temple of one thousand and eight carat gold. On seeing the temple, I went unhesitatingly inside the portal in the tower. At the portal in the tower, there were Sakthis-s and Saakthaa-s in crores. Their hues were white, red, and scarlet. There, all of them asked, “Who is this man?”, but I went past them. I went past them, and there, at a sacred doorway, were five persons. With them showing me the way, I went to a jeweled doorway farther up. At that doorway, which I remember well, there stood two, a man and a woman. With them pointing it out to me, I beheld with love welling up in me the private sacred entrance (which leads to the sacred presence of Lord Civan). At that sacred door stood Aanandhavalli, my Mother. I beheld the Mother, Her grace I received, and ambrosia I partook of. By Her Grace, which held me up, I saw the presence of Natarajar, O mother, I saw the presence of Natarajar! The boon I received on going into His presence, God knows it, O mother, God knows it. In the Hall of prime gold, the sights I saw, wonderful sights they are, O mother, wonderful sights they are.
Ramalinga Adigal's journey reminds us of the mystical doors that give way to the abode of the Gods and Goddesses in the Purana films. Buddha, too, was wooed by Mara with all kinds of distractions.
Asking him if those places and planes Ramalinga Adigal sings about do exist, Tavayogi tells me that it was a journey within, traveling the Chakras, and stopped at that. This was somewhere in 2008. Recently, Agathiyar came to say the same, telling us that Gnanam, which Tavayogi always spoke about, was not gifted but had to be earned through our efforts. He tells us that it was a journey of traversing the Chakras and arriving at Sahasrara, where Gnanam will dawn.
Agathiyar asked me and my wife to conduct our 60th wedding, though I was already 65 then, and asked me to relay his message, a concise epic of the journey on the path of the Siddhas towards light, which he dictated to me several days before the event. He chose the Guru Purnima day. After having us carry out our 60th wedding, or to be exact, he carried it out for us, Agathiyar came to ask my children why the need arose to hold the event, and elaborated on it. To the children, it was to indicate and have them let go of their dependence on their parents. As their parents had to embark on another phase of the journey, the 60th wedding was carried out to clearly draw the line and remind them of this. It was not that the parents and the children were to break all ties, but to remind them not to expect further from their parents. As for us, the parents, it was meant to end our responsibilities towards the children and acknowledge that the children are on their own now. Henceforth, he told us to prepare ourselves to embark on a journey of knowing the Soul. Yes, it was not a repeat of the wedding vows we took and the rituals we did back then in 1989, but rather an engagement of the souls this time around. His message was self-explanatory. This is indeed the journey that Ramalinga Adigal speaks about in his song 'Aanipon Ambalathil". In asking us who Agathiyan is, he explains the journey of transformation into him, or rather, to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them, too.
"Who is Agathiyan?
You are. I am. True. We are all Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within.
"Why is it that we do not realize or feel him?"
It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him.
"How can we attain this state of preparedness?"
First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives, they shall walk with us, holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you, too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Thenceforth, you are no different from Agathiyan, and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me, and I am you."
Just days ago, when I thanked him from my Soul, he asked me who I was thanking and what for? I replied that I was thanking him for all that he has given us and for the good life. He replied with another question as he often does, asking, "Aren't we one?" I kept quiet. He has brought me where I should arrive, or rather has taken me back to my original state, or rather his state. Agathiyar saw through this entire journey of mine without any hiccups. I am truly grateful to him.
Only after some twenty years of worship to these Siddhas have I begun to understand whatever Tavayogi said in passing back then. After wandering throughout India, his last pitstop was the hills of Sathuragiri. Having completed his external journey, and short of completing his internal journey, arriving at the state of Samadhi within, Agathiyar held him back and pulled him back into the material world, and directed him to fulfill his purpose and one last task that was waiting. Agathiyar had him start an ashram and preach the teachings of the Siddhas. Agathiyar had him seek a place known as Agathiyar Vanam and pitch his ashram around the turn of the century. He soon came to know that the Kallar hills were known by this name. Hence, the Kallar ashram came to be. We are glad for otherwise we would have "lost" this Soul or Jiva that would have left his body after 21 days remaining in the state of Samadhi. I would have lost the opportunity to meet such a noble Soul that I saw as Agathiyar himself walking the face of the earth. His departure and demise that came later in 2018 was a mere dropping of his mortal frame. His Soul joined the realms of the Siddhas, becoming Light as Dhanvantri came to reveal to us. Agathiyar added that he was doing Agathiyar's work in the realm of the Siddhas. Yogi Ramsuratkumar, too, lying on his deathbed, told his followers that he could do a better job in the subtle realm.
After traveling places out there, and seeking him out and coming to know him as existing equally in the Prapanjam, as I had shared in the last post, it was the travel within that subtly brought on the changes that Ramalinga Adigal sang about and that Tavayogi and Agathiyar spoke about. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas and Lord Siva and Lord Muruga and Prapanjam had spoken, bringing me messages and updates and guidance through the many Nadi readings, constantly monitoring me and my journey within.
Coming through the Nadi,
- On 3.10.2007, they spoke on their amazement at seeing the Kundalini rise in me;
- 18.5.2008, that the many techniques taught and shown and put into practice had brought on excessive heat within, prompting the need to take Sattvic food that would cool the body, listing what to do, and telling me further that the colors of the aura will accentuate further as a result of the awakening of Kundalini;
- 30.9.2008, that the light from the third eye had emerged in me;
- 8.12.2008, that due to my Vaasi practice or Pranayama, the Suzhimunai and the crown at the top of my head had opened, and that he shall draw all the seven veils aside and have me see the Jothi, thus paving the way to reach the state of fulfillment and completeness that comes with the state of Soruba Nilai;
- 27.8.2009, giving me a further practice known as Tava Sukmam;
- 26.12.2009, that Gnanam has dawned on me and that the crown of my head has opened and that the third eye shall shine;
- 12.7.2010, that I had seen Sadashiva;
- 9.8.2010, that the heat or Gnana Kanal from the practice or Tapas had risen in me;
- 17.10.2010 that my health was declining and asked to see a physician who could bring it back to its former state;
- 16.1.2011, that I continue taking the prescription that he gave on 17.10.2010 for another half a Mandalam or 24 days;
- 9.8.2011, that I was in a state of bliss and that the graceful light of Arutjothi had increased immensely and in intensity, bringing one to reach Siddhantam and higher states;
- 26.11.2011, the Muladhara Chakra had gained intense heat, hence shutting my systems down and my three Doshas, Vata, Kapha, and Pita, were thrown off balance;
- 15.2.2013, that my crown was open and I had gained Mukthi;
- 21.9.2014, that the chakras were functioning perfectly and that the Suzhimunai was opened;
- 28.3.2015, that I had gained his Jothi and had the crown chakra opened;
- 28.8.2015, that changes had taken place within me, and that his Jothi has expanded in me, and the Suzhimunai has opened;
- 7.10.2018, that my breath was dislodged and blocked in my sleep;
- 8.10.2018, that, as age had caught up with me, my spine and hips were tensed, the inner gel at these joints had dried up resulting in the acute pain I was having, coming as a Jiva and speaking through the Jiva Nool or Nadi, and simultaneosly coming through a devotee at the same time, treating me and removing my pain, by stroking my body with the peacock feathers;
- 5.9.2019, explaining the reason I fell, slithering in pain like a snake would, and that being a sign of Kundalini that had arisen and begun to move, churning up the heat and fire within, and that it was blissful at the same time, and that the third eye and the crown had opened, and I was partaking of the ambrosia within. That was the very last Nadi reading I had before the pandemic came on, and the Nadi readers went back to India.
While all these while the Agathiyar and Siddhas spoke through the medium of the Nadi, during the pandemic and post-pandemic, they surprised us by coming through devotees to convey their messages as the Nadi readers from India had returned home.
They used to come through me when Agathiyar came in the form of a bronze statue made in Swaimalai and delivered in 2010. But as it took place in our home, we begged that they should stop, for it was a family home and we had school-going children, and I had to go to work early the next day. Anyway, we did not want word to get out and have the public wait in line to be cured, for instance. The Siddhas stopped - temporarily until we were spiritually mature enough to understand that they were only using us and our venue to aid, help, heal, and answer the prayers of others. As soon as they made me realize this, they started bringing in strangers again and went about their business, asking us to just keep watch and witness.
When the Nadi readers came back, Lord Murugan came in the Nadi and told me to give way and allow them access and space to do their miracles. That is when we saw the heavens giving way to all the deities, Siddhas, and other heavenly beings. That was the pinnacle of these strange happenings.
Coming through devotees,
- On 29.11.2019, Arutperunjothi has taken possession of us at AVM and to open up our Souls and hearts to receive the Jothi and allow it to come within and embed in us;
- 24.12.2019, that Gnanam was the art of transforming the Asudha Degam into a Sudha Degam and later into the Pranava Degam and finally into the Oli Degam, and that observing the breath was the means to it;
- 30.1.2020, that my breath was at Svadhishthana, and that it was about time it opened up, asking me to take up the practice that Tavayogi gave me in 2007 again which he had me stop doing when I was in pain earlier, to carry out the cleansing breath that shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl and travel along my seven Chakras, awaken them and that after traversing these Chakras, when it touches the seventh, I shall know my purpose here;
- 4.5.2020, that when I reach this state, an energy that is Suzhimunai will come within without my knowledge;
- 27.6.2022, that the "Agathiyar Kuzhambu," a herbal preparation that detoxifies, which I took, helped in expelling the excesses in the three Doshas;
- 22.8.2022, that the stagnated "water" was released when a pull and a tug of a nerve was felt below the navel, bringing on a swirling sensation followed by a chillness, making the whole body became numb right to the tips, causing nausea and the urge to pee and urine and causing me to collapsed twice and added that it was blissful, though;
- 23.8.2022, falling again upon awakening the next day, where the body became numb from the shoulders down and laying like a dead log on my bed, not able to move even an inch of the torso from the neck down, though able to see, hear, and talk, and aware of what was happening to me; and asking me to carry out Nadi Sudhi to bring the breath to travel in both nostrils and raise the Prana, so that it shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna where then the Jothi is seen, resting in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam where Dhyana shall be ours;
Mr Patrick Teo was both my agriculture and art teacher back at school in the seventies. He used to bring us to the lake gardens, Taiping, and have us look at nature and draw her. Many years later, I did not expect Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, my second guru, to offer to take me into the jungles and caves, places he had spent years wandering through as a mendicant throughout India. Ramalinga Adigal often came to help us connect with the Prapanjam. Lord Siva asks us to communicate with her by lighting the Homam, and help her heal at the peak of the pandemic. Prapanjam herself later asked us to do the same, worried about a resurgence of the deadly virus. Agathiyar, who told us that he was Prapanjam, came into our homes in the absence of his bronze statue that he had me move to the homes of the devotees who invited him over.
I came to know recently from a translation of Adi Sankaracharya's "Soundarya Lahiri" that I shared in an earlier post, that "the Prapanca, here meant the 72,000 Nadis of the Jiva" or Jeeva or Soul in us. The Prana that came within in carrying out the Pranayama and Asana techniques Tavayogi gave me back in 2007, and which I did diligently, had activated the creative energy Kundalini, that saw through the development of the embryo and fetus, and a child that became dormant later at the Muladhara, thus awakening her. Over the years, it stagnated just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts would only bring us till Svadishthana, and the guru has to lead us on. Agathiyar, in 2022, came to break the bund and release the pent-up energies ponding at Svadishthana. The energy made its way to her final destination, where her lover was waiting with open arms within the 1000-petalled lotus in the crown that is the Garbhagriha, or inner sanctum, or chamber. They rejoiced in meeting, and danced the divine dance, and ambrosia flowed, cooling and drenching the entire body that is the very temple. The Jiva went into a state of Samadhi during those moments. According to Sri Ramakrishna, Samadhi is the realization of the state of Sat-cid-ananda. We read that in this state, generally the life force lingers for 21 days and then passes out, but if God chooses to retain in us the ego, that of either knowledge or devotion, henceforth their minds shall linger, remain, and shall move between the 6th and 7th planes or Cakras. But the energies soon returned to their respective chambers, for Agathiyar decided it was not the time for my soul to leave. This energy fuels the flowering that takes place in the Sahasrara even to this day. Thank you, my Lord, my guru, my Soul. And I have to thank Paramahansa Yogananda, whose autobiography, gifted to me by his devotee, opened my eyes to the existence of gurus and Swami Sivananda of Rishikesh, whose autobiography gave me an insight into his life too. I have to thank Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati for asking aspirants to have a spiritual diary to monitor their progress. This blog has become my spiritual diary now.