Besides the evolution of the soul, life is a journey through the elements. Just as the sea water evaporates into steam and hot air rising to form the clouds and rain in the peaks, and making its way back to the sea, in this sea of existence, we begin to sail back to the source, from whence we came. We, too, transform in many ways, physically, emotionally, and so on, and return either for better or for worse.
If we read the last moments of Adi Shankaracharya in the last post, where "There came a concourse of Rishis and Devas with Brahma at their head, to lead this incarnate of Siva back to his pristine state in Sivaloka in the heaven of Kailasa. The assemblage of luminous chariots filled the heavenly paths. The celestials rained a heavy shower of mandara flowers over the region and sang the glory of Lord Siva, who had taken the form of a Sannyasin. "Thou hast accomplished the mission for which thou didst manifest in the world. Do come now into our midst in thy heavenly abode," addressed the Devas. Indra and his retinue now raised their voice in a chorus of hymns and began to rain flowers, while the great sannyasin, mounting the back of the divine bull Nandi, transformed himself into his real form as the Lord Siva with matted locks and the crescent moon. He attained his divine abode" (Source: "Sankara Digvijaya" by Madhava Vidyaranya, published by Sri Ramakrishna Math, Madras).
How would our last days be? Shouldn't we work on gaining his grace now? Would we be fit to utter his name in the last moments of our lives? Agathiyar, who is said to have authored a song, lists all these, asking us these questions that are food for thought while living right now.
Everything was beautiful until man came along. Men in the past lived closely with nature, adored and worshipped it. Hence, he would not lay his hands on her. Soon, he became inconsiderate of her dozing through the jungles with heavy machinery and bringing on instant destruction. These days, he causes even more destruction to both people and nature with weapons of war, practically leveling them to the ground. What does man want these days? Isn't whatever he has in his hands enough? Why the greed for more money, land, possession, and followers? Why these religious wars? While the destruction goes on, some souls attend to nature, appreciate it, and make the effort to preserve it. These are the unsung heroes. When the media gives extensive coverage to the destruction and its perpetrators, unknowingly making them even more famous, these unsung heroes go about in their small ways to do their part in giving back to nature. If the media does not cover these bad elements, giving attention and air time, the good shall shine, right?
At times, I feel that I want to disassociate with man completely. I cannot stomach his ways. But Agathiyar, coming in a Nadi reading for a young man, had a few words of solace and consoled me that it was the work of Karma. He reminded me that he was with me and not to worry and not to become confused.
I am indebted to many in this life. I am grateful to my parents, siblings, family, gurus, the Siddhas, and the divine, and finally Prapanjam that encompasses all in its belly. I have yet to know who the gurus were that my father came to meet and serve in his ashram when he returned to India back in those days. As we were kids, we never asked him about this. But he must have learned and picked up some art, though we never saw him practice any. Neither was he religious and into rituals or temple visits. But he had faith and belief and would raise his hands before our home altar and talk to God verbally, making known his wishes. The last moments of his passing were truly beautiful. Having watched a Tamil movie on the television, he asked my mother to make him some coffee, which he had never requested of her all the years, always making his own. That morning, he asked her to iron out his shirt and vesti, this too he had never asked before. When coffee was done and my mother came out of the kitchen to hand it to him, he was not in his usual spot. His chair, which was always next to the entrance door, was empty. Instead, he was sitting on the floor cross-legged in the opposite corner. She placed the coffee down when she saw that the pupils of his eyes were gazing up. As she placed her hands on his shoulder, he toppled over onto her lap and passed away. He was 76 in 1991. He came to me in a dream later, just standing beside a doorway, saying nothing.
My mother, who lived another 20 years on to a ripe old age of 96, said that she was going to sleep. These were her last words to us, lying on the hospital bed.
My very first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, told me over the phone that he was going to observe silence, initially for 48 days beginning on the eve of Thaipusam. But several days into the silence, I mistakenly called him, forgetting the fast he was undertaking. But he answered. I apologized for making him break his "fast". But, telling me he would talk to me, he told me that he wanted to extend it to 60 days. He asks me to feed the people upon accomplishing this. He also told me that he had seen the Jothi. The day he passed on, my wife called me at the office, telling me that his wife was crying over the phone. When I reached home after work, I spoke to Swami's wife. She passed me the news. I consoled her, telling her that he had seen the Jothi, the reason we are born. He passed away on 7 February 2006 at the age of 76. Swami had told me that he would pass away at this age and pointed to his prayer room, where he should be laid to rest, when I was with him in 2005. Though he had desired to be laid to rest at his kudil, a Swamiji of a nearby ashram for whom Ramajayam, his son, was working for send over several of his disciples to see through the last rites and had him buried in a cemetery along the path of Girivalam. I was saddened upon hearing this, but Agathiyar, coming in my Nadi reading that weekend, told me that it was the right spot and he would attain fame. One day, after I had finished my morning puja, there was a strong smell of tobacco in my home. My thoughts went to Swami, asking if he was there because he smokes a cigar. Almost immediately, my phone rings, and his number appears. It was a misscall. I knew from his son that the line was terminated upon his demise. Several days later, returning from work, I shared this with my nephew, who knew him too, having been to his kudil too. Ending the conversation, there was another miscall from him. I called the number, and someone answered on the other end. His number was apparently taken up by someone else in Coimbatore. During a Sivarathri puja, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, who came through a devotee, told us that he had brought Supramania Swami with him. If Supramania Swami had brought the Yogi into his home while I was there, this time around, the Yogi brought him with him. The Yogi had previously turned the tables on a devotee who tried to outsmart him. As the Siddhas came through a devotee, his friend wanted to know when it was him speaking and when the divine was using him. So she decided to speak to him in English. If he answered, that was her friend speaking. So when she kept asking him in English, "Hi buddy, are you okay?", the Yogi came and answered, identifying himself as the Beggar has come. Though stunned for that moment, we all had a good laugh later.
My second guru, Tavayogi, too came through this devotee and joked that he had slimmed down for the devotee was physically slim. We all had a good laugh. Tavayogi passed away at the age of 76, too, on 3 July 2018. Kogie Pillai of South Africa had a dream just days after the passing of Tavayogi, where she saw him with others dressed in white sitting on a boat heading for a distant mountain. Lord Siva was taking them across. Later, Dhavanthri came and told us that, whatever others may say of his death after being hospitalized, he had reached the state of Jothi. Agathiyar too told us that he should be the one to guide us further, but since he was called to carry out their work in their realm, Agathiyar had to come himself to guide us further.
Molly Menon, who was later bestowed the name Jnana Jothi by Agathiyar, a Keralite who studied in Chennai later and followed her husband, who was a Surgeon in the Military, to the USA, read my journeys with Supramania Swami and Tavayogi on my website indianheartbeat in 2011 and made her way to Kallar Ashram. She, who became a devout devotee of Agathiyar, who guided her through numerous Nadi readings, was isolated from all in Chennai for some time, where she had the Siddhas take care of her in mysterious ways. When she succumbed to extreme pain, one that I knew and could feel as she cried over the phone speaking to me, and passed away, we were told that she had cancer. She had joined the fold of many other masters and gurus like Bhagawan Ramana, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, and Sri Ramakrishna. But she was promised a royal birth next time around by Agathiyar.
There was a time when I began to listen continuously to Sadhu Om's songs on Bhagawan Ramana's teachings set to music and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy. Then on another Sivarathri, Bhagawan came just as Yogi Ramsuratkumar had come earlier on a Sivathri, after listening to these songs. Recently, I was drawn to Adi Sankaracharya's songs. When going over to pay our respect to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar of Kallar Ashram, who is in Malaysia, I met up with another devotee and an AVM family member. Their son had a Jeeva Nadi reading. I was surprised by Agathiyar calling me in towards the end of his reading and had a few words to say to me, too. Agathiyar revealed that this lad, who had just attained 21, was a former disciple of Adi Shankara. What a coincidence, or is it? Back then, a few others and I were asked to go to Sringeri Madam in our Nadi readings. But we never made it. Now, what is our connection with Adi Shankara, we wonder?
Looking up his songs on the net, I found several that I have shared in an earlier post. One of them was "Saundarya Lahiri". Looking up my library of books, I found this book that I had purchased in 2005. It was "Saundarya Lahiri of Sri Sankaracarya" with transliteration, translation, and notes based on Laksmidhara's commentary by Swami Tapasyananda, published by Sri Ramakrishna Math, Mylapore. The very first page I turned to carried a transliteration in English of the original in Sanskrit, a much-awaited message for me on the descent of the Kundalini after Samadhi to the Muladhara.
Drenching the whole manifested multiplicity (the Prapanca, here meaning the 72,000 Nadis of the Jiva) with the nectar flowing from thy feet, thou (the Kundalini representing Tripurasundari) descendest from the exuberance of the nectarine radiance of the moon (here the Sahasrara where the Kundalini unites with Siva) into the hollow of thy own sphere in the Muladhara at the lower end of the Sushumna assuming thy serpentine form (of 3 1/2 coils) and sleepest therein.
We are given further explanation, as the Kundalini that is Sakti of the individual Jiva, lying dormant in the Muladhara, is awakened and made to pass through the 6 plexuses (Cakras), different subtle dimensions of reality become open to the Jiva, and finally, upon reaching the Sahasrara, the 1000-petalled lotus within which is the Sri Cakra, perfect Samadhi ensues. The center of the Sri Cakra, the Bindu, is the place of Devi in union with Siva. The shower of nectar emerging from her feet saturates the whole body and mind of the Sadhaka with bliss.
Adi Sankaracharya, through Swami Tapasyananda, has revealed what took place and is still going on in me. It was about this time that I was passed on to Vaalai Thaai and asked to worship her. Agathiyar brought us to AVM to worship the other aspects of her, namely, Devi Bala Tripurasundari, Balambikai, Manonmani, Bhuvaneshwari, Balambigai, and Vaalai Parameshwari. For this purpose, I compiled a book that carried songs of praise appropriate to her.
This is where Agathiyar, coming these days through devotees, had cautioned me to drop my anger for the Kundalini that had arisen, would drop to lower regions, he warned, if not managed. He often comes asking me if he should run another class on anger management. There was once, back in the days of my regular Nadi readings, were he took a solid hour to talk to me about it and tested me immediately to see if I held my cool. I failed badly in these tests.
Swami Tapasyananda explains further that, from the Sahasrara, the Kundalini again descends to the Muladhara if she is still in identification with all the past impressions and tendencies born of the Karmas of the Jiva. Quoting Swami Vivekananda from his "Raja Yoga", he continues that only in the case of those whose minds have been erased of all impressions does the Kundalini remain in complete absorption in Siva in the Sahasrara, and the Samadhi remains spontaneous and continuous and even irrevokable. The higher evolution of the jiva is completed, and absolute consciousness, which is absolute bliss too, is attained. He adds that Sri Ramakrishna would create false desires so that they might exercise a downward pull on the Kundalini and prevent her absolute mergence in Siva. Now I fully understand why anger and sexual thoughts, and urges come on. I shall drop my guilt and lay it down henceforth. Yes, I speak the truth and shame the devil.