Just as I began to come out of my meditative pose this morning and as I stretched my left leg, I felt a nerve pull that rekindled the lower back pain in me. I cannot sit up straight right now. But I have to write, right? I am writing while in pain. But the pain is also blissful. How do we reckon that? Agathiyar said the same too. Already as it is my body was expelling phlegm. Wind and bile too is expelled now. Even in these moments of agony the blossoming of the petals in the crown of my head goes on bringing a chillness.
When someone messaged me asking if Agathiyar could relieve his toothache I told him not to pull him to our level to sort our problems. He could extract his tooth or do a root canal procedure. A pain that originates in the physical body can be attended through allopathic means.
So is it right for me to seek Agathiyars touch and bring relief to my pain? I guess so for this journey is not one that I desired nor chose but as in the dream that chases us the journey picked me. Agathiyar extended an invitation to the path. I took it up. He gave me the practices. I practiced them diligently. When these practices brought on internal changes the medical doctors and tests could not reveal any problems as the transformation was in the subtle bodies though its effects are felt in the physical. Hence it is only right that the guru comes to assist. As Agathiyar said earlier as Tavayogi initiated me into these practices, he should be here to heal me. But since Agathiyar called him to assist him in his realm with his work Agathiyar himself had come to treat me. Agathiyar healing me with his touch that day reminds me of John healing Paul's severe bladder infection by touching him in the movie The Green Mile.
Henry Wei in his book "The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu, Synergy Books International, quotes Rabindranath Tagore on this mystic union, as "The Paramatman, the supreme soul, has himself chosen this soul of ours as his bride and the marriage has been completed." Ramalinga Adigal composes a beautiful song of how his Lord had told him to prepare for this bridal marriage or mystic union an hour before the event takes place.
I remember the last time the pain came on me in 2018 Lord Murugan in the Nadi reading claimed that he had to bring it on so that I sit in one place. Another senior devotee when he tripped and fell at his home and had injured his shoulder, Agathiyar admitted that he had pushed him down so that he would stay home. The Siddhas can be quite aggressive in their ways to those whose time is running out, I guess. He is 66 while I am 63. I guess they mean business. They want us to attain a state that has been envisioned for us before it is too late. I guess it is a dream of theirs. As it is we are already late as Agathiyar echoes Tavayogi's statement that any bodily transformation has to be completed before 60 years of age. To the youngsters in our team, he gave them leeway to leave everything for the moment and attend to their family and careers telling us that they shall come back again.
G. Valmikanathan in his book "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingam", published by Sahitya Akademi (e-book at http://www.vallalar.org) mentions,
"The unitive way is that part of the pathway in which the pilgrim marches on with buoyant and joyous steps, filled with hope and freed from doubt or misconception. The journey is characterized by a sense of urgency. The pilgrim, in this part of his journey, begins to walk fast, then breaks into a loping trot, finally, gallops on with increasing tempo towards the beckoning smile and the outstretched arms, and is soon locked in an eternal embrace with the beloved, the eternal being, the Godhead, the ground of all being. The journey on the unitive way is composed of several factors of experience. Recollection and quiet, contemplation, ecstasy and rapture, dark night of the soul, and unitive life."
Ramalinga Adigal has put down his experiences in transforming his body in the numerous songs of his compiled as the Thiruarutpa for us to compare and understand the process. Marshall Govindan in his book “Babaji and the 18 Siddhars Kriya Yoga Tradition” (Govindan, Marshall, Babaji and the Eighteen Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition, 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications (Reg), 196 Mountain Road, P.O.Box 90, Eastman, Quebec, Canada, JOE 1PO, reproduced with permission via e-mail), writes on this transformation.
"Ramalinga described several successive transformations:
The transformation of the mortal human body into the perfect body (suddha deham), achieved by universal spiritual communion and devotion to god;
The transformation of perfect body (sudha deham) into the body of grace and light (pranava deham);
In addition, the transformation into the body of wisdom (Gnana deham) and into the body of god supreme.
In many verses (in the Thiru Arutpa) Ramalinga sings of how his ‘impure body’ of ‘impure elements’ was transformed into a pure body of pure elements, called a golden body of immeasurable carats (swarna deham).
He sings that one has to think incessantly, until he feels and melts with love for God. In such a melting mood one bursts into tears and sings praise of God and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develops, the body as well as the soul became prepared for the descent of the grace, in the form of light. When this occurs, the material body of impure elements is transformed into a ‘body of pure light’, emitting a golden hue."
So this transformation and change takes place entirely due to their grace.
"The ultimate and greatest transformation in human evolution: a transmutation into the godhead, which he referred to as merging with the body of supreme wisdom-the body of God supreme (Gnana deham).
In the foreword to “An Introduction to the Philosophy of Saint Ramalingam” Dr., Rao Saheb K. Kothandapani Pillai BA writes,
"The body is deprived of all its dross or impurities and made pure, fit for divine absorption (sudha deham). These are the practical transformation, which came over the body of the Swami stage by stage on the way to union with the absolute. Not only did he preach this science of deathlessness (sudha sanmarga) but actually attained this deathless state. None of the four saints, [Appar, Sundarar, Thirugnanasambanthar, and Manickavasagar] dropped their bodies on the earth nor was buried or burnt. They bodily vanished into the ether or into the lord divine. Conquest of death by imbibing supreme grace is the quintessence of his philosophy. These transformations occur in the body of the aspirant according to the intensity of spiritual warmth produced in him. The more he ascended in his holy pursuit the more was the descent of divinity in him."
Swami Saravanananda, translates the “Arutperunjhoti Agaval” in his publication by the Ramalinga Mission, Madras.
"The skin has become supple; nerves function intermittently; bones have become soft and the tendons have lost their grip over the muscles; blood has congealed and semen has condensed into a solid ball; petals of the brain blossom and elixir fills up the body system; face glows and breath becomes peaceful; hairs rise on end and tears well up; mouth utters the name of the lord and the sound of OM pours into the ears; body becomes cooled and hands rise up in salutations; mind ripens and melts and wisdom fills up the mental frame; the ever pervading feeling has come to stay; egoism vanishes and the soul attains bliss; impurities get destroyed and purity alone remains; illusory tendency vanishes and a longing for god’s grace swells up…"
From http://www.ramalinga.com, we read the same.
"Describing in exquisite way the phases of the transformation of his body, Ramalinga says that dermis and epidermis have become extremely soft; all the nerves, muscles and tendons have slackened little by little; the bones, membranes and cartilages have become very flexible; the blood has coagulated; the semen has concentrated being solidified; the brain and all its parts have been opened like a bud. All over the body an Elixir flows; the face glistens; the respiration is smooth and refreshing; from the tear glands abundant tears sprout; the mouth is half-opened tremulous, and the ears are filled of sweet melodies. The entire body is refreshed and all its visible parts flourish in ecstasy. The heart swells palpitating Love. The ego vanishes, as the emotional and mental defects. A tender, loving and compassionate quietude dominates the entire organism. The ardent desire to receive the divine Grace overflows. The Supreme Love fills the body, which is the temple of the divine Life."
Swami Saravanananda writes about these astounding bodily changes further.
"At whatever age the aspirant gains illumination or the effulgence enters in him or emanates from within, some remarkable changes take place in the body-frame. The Divine Light seems to change the very cell of the body, with the result, that they seem to function in the opposite direction."
"With the descent of sufficient Divine Light the psychic head begins to emerge. According to Vallalar, this psychic head (a crown or diadem of light) is made up of a special and highly refined type of brain called Omkar brain. As soon as it emerges, it draws more cosmic light; the more the light the greater the growth of the psychic head. With the advent of psychic head, more and more changes take place in the already purified body."
"The cells and thence the whole body begins to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever prospering body, is called the subtle body or the body of Omkar or Pranava body."
"With this perfection comes perfect knowledge. He (Vallalar) also seemed to have been bestowed with the third eye, after his body had attained perfection. This third eye enabled him to gain knowledge of the whole universe and all the individual beings contained in it. He assets that his knowledge penetrated and pervaded layer upon layer of the varied types of universes. With the functioning of the third eye, the transformation of the Pranava body is completed and the next and final stage of transformation into the Gnostic body (Gnana deham) starts."
"The transformation of the Pranava body into a Gnostic body begins with the functioning of the third eye. With the advent of this eye, the body sheds whatever subtle impurities it possesses; consequently, it becomes nearly invisible. The third eye enabled Vallalar to have tier upon tier of divine experiences. Slowly his body through the intensity of concentration of the mind begins to generate the flame of lapses, popularly known as psychic heat. Slowly the quantity of psychic heat is increased due to intense meditation and concentration on the universal effulgence. The extreme heat generated in the body produces smoke at first; this smoke gathers up in volume and escapes through the junction of the parietal bones of the skull (Brahma Randhra). During this period, the body and mind undergoes untold stress. Vallalar often mentions about the sufferings that he had undergone since he was twelve years old. The psychic smoke clears off and enhanced illumination results. This light (Tegas) is also called as the aura or nimbus.
From http://www.ramalinga.com we read about the finale.
"... the full Union with God in body and soul (deathless body) takes place when the Highest Lord accepts the absolute surrender of the disciple. These great saints saw a Column of Light rising above the Sahasrara up to the Divinity. The Column of Light starts to be formed in the states previous to the full Realization of Golden Body. In one who realizes the Golden Deathless Body an indissoluble bond is established with the Divinity through this Column of Light. Till this moment, one must make an effort ascending to the Divinity, later having to descend again to the physical level, nevertheless on having been settled the Column of Light one does not need to continue doing this effort, but from this time the Divinity descends on oneself. The one in whom the Column of Light is settled enjoy the continual experience on the Divinity, who, on having descended, resides in one's own Heart (as shining Sun) and fills with Himself the whole Being gradually, even the physical body (which, cell by cell, is completely transmuted up to becoming divine)."
"At first the above-mentioned experience has not the same intensity all the time. Moved by His great Compassion, God takes the maximum care of the possible after effect in the physical body and that's why He is alternating the intensity to manifest Himself as Divine Light. Sometimes His resplendence is very soft whereas in other occasions It becomes the most intense, seeming that one is going to be melted in It. This experience on God fills the Self with Divine Love and Compassion, which overflow from the Heart as a river flowing endlessly towards the other beings."
"Little by little, God is increasing by degrees the intensity of Light and one is becoming accustomed to it, until the time comes when God manifests Himself wholly. Then the Column of Light shines from beginning to end with Its entire splendor. It isn’t visible, except in very rare occasions. This Column of Light is truly the embodied Divine Jothi, which burns constantly so that the Divine Light radiates coming to all the beings. This is the Full God's Manifestation in the Earth."
"There was no longer the body, no longer any sensation; there was only a Column of Light rising from the place where is ordinarily the base of the body up to the place where is ordinarily the head, to form there a disk of Light like that of the moon; then from there the Column went on rising up to very far above the head to break into an immense Sun, dazzling and multi-colored, from which fell a rain of Golden Light covering the whole earth. Then slowly the Column of Light descended forming an oval of living Light, awakening and setting in motion, each in a particular way, according to a special mode of vibration, the centers which were above the head, at the place of the head, the throat, the heart, in the middle of the belly, at the base of the spine and still lower. At the height of the knees, the ascending and the descending currents joined together, and the circulation thus became in a way uninterrupted enveloping the whole being in an immense oval of living Light."
How wonderful it feels just reading these accounts. Imagine the state of Ramalinga Adigal going through it. Just as we are able to compare notes with the saint I guess the reason Agathiyar asked me to share the internal changes in me is to share notes with readers who are experiencing a similar passage.