SONGS OF GRATITUDE

I came to Agathiyar through the Nadi reading in 2002. 

I never dreamed that he would come to us to stay for good after I took up his call to follow his path. He showered many moments of bliss throughout this journey. 

The pandemic, though it took many lives, was a period where Agathiyar, who till then came speaking to me through the Nadi, came through devotees during the outbreak of the pandemic as the Nadi readers returned to India and stayed on after the pandemic. Agathiyar, who till then poured praises and words of acceptance on our puja and charity activities, having taken up the many Kriyas that he and Tavayogi had initiated, gave Yogic practices and suggested herbal preparations to sustain the awakened energies through the Nadi initially, in coming through devotees, he began to dispense the means to attain the state of Gnanam. He would ask me to sit with him in meditation. He healed my family and others who were present during his brief visits. He conducted my 60th wedding, though I was already 66 then. 

He showered so much love. 

I can connect to the songs of Ramalinga Adigal. He sings these songs of gratitude to the Divine. Besides his heartfelt gratitude, he exposed the truth and the Divine play, or Lila. Lord Muruga came to warn me too and become aware and asked to sieve through all that comes our way, just as Tavayogi on the onset had told us to probe even the words of the Siddhas and not take them at face value.

BECOMING ONE

Since day one of my coming to know them through the Nadi reading, the Siddhas have surprised me in numerous ways, and often have given me a trashing. To add salt to the wound, they had Tavayogi come along, take me under his shadow, and trash me further. They left me in the open, under the skies, stark naked and alone now, with the Prapanjam caring for me. The mountain is back to being a mountain. 

As a bachelor, to counter my boredom when I started my career in my twenties in a small town, I frequented the temples in the locality besides engaging in Puja to the deities in the Hindu pantheon, taking up from whatever my parents did, and learning from books, in my rented home. This was when a colleague passed me a small book written by a relative of his, which I cannot recall its name now, that revealed an alternative explanation to some of the beliefs, customs, and rituals we have been carrying out. The thought that these could have been either altered or manipulated, or had changed over time, did arise, too.  It was an interesting read, though. Soon, I took to reading more about our culture and Agamas or rituals to know the reasons behind why it was done and why we have followed them blindly without question. I would debate with others, including my seniors at work. These prompted me to include spiritual books in my list. But as it was a small town, books were difficult to come by back then in the 80s. I had no access to either a personal computer or the internet then. What was disclosed in the pages of these books was a rosy and beautiful picture of God, who was said to be loving and compassionate, that did not tally with the sufferings that relatives and friends went through. On the brink of going cuckoo, Lord Siva came to save me through a dream in which he asked that I keep all my questions to a later date. I did as told and dropped it all, including reading, visiting the temples, and my daily home Puja too. I focused on my career and family. Thirteen years went by before I knew it. It was 2001, and time for me to know it all. I received a mantra initiation that came through mysteriously from the lineage of a guru cum temple priest whose teachings my nephew was following as an undergraduate at the campus within a stones throw. It was the Vasudeva mantra. My nephew, who told me not to question its source, only told me as much as that it was given to me to prepare me to meet my guru. Though it was puzzling, I did as asked and recited the Mantra. Wanting to know more about the Mantra, I went through my collection of books. I came across R Venu Gopalan's "The Hidden Mysteries of Kundalini", where he had written that this Mantra is recited for balancing the Vishnu Granthi. 

"The Vishnu Granti adds obstructions for the Sadhaka, keeping one under the wraps of attachment and bondage, leading to the process of selfishness and supra ego."

"Continuous practice of meditation on this mantra helps purify the thinking process. It also helps in dissolving all the past karmic deeds for a better future."

"The nadis of the heart chakra is cleansed. It balances the heart chakra."

It was only later that he revealed that it was from Agathiyar. The message came through his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai, coming through a devotee during one of their regular meetings in his guru's temple. There was no looking back now. One thing led to another. All the doors opened just as the Mantra was supposed to clear all the blocks within.

A year later, in 2002, I had a calling to read the Nadi, something that was told to me by my friend, an astrologer and Siddha physician back then in the 90s but as I did not know any Nadi reader back then I left it at that, taking only as much as the dear doctor told me about the Siddhas and their ability to see into our past and reveal our past Karma and curses. Just as he had said, Agathiyar confirmed that the reason I did not make much progress in my Puja and Yoga practices was that I had past Karma and curses standing between me and the fruits of my efforts. Agathiyar came as my saviour and true enough my guru. But as certain things had to come to me through physical means, he sent me to a guru in the physical form of Supramania Swami first, in 2003, and later had me meet another guru, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram, in 2005, to initiate me on Agathiyar's Mantra, officially taking me into their folds, and initiate me to carry out rituals like the Homam, and Yogam in 2007. Agathiyar came into my home as a bronze statue in 2010. He sent several youths over to my home in 2013 to watch and learn the rituals. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) came to be. He engaged us in carrying out Puja both at home and at the temples, and had us carry out charity. Agathiyar, who saw how the impending pandemic would take hold of us and bring a halt to our daily routine, had me dissolve the group and had each one go their way in the wake of the pandemic. As for me, he had me keep to myself, giving me further practices and herbal preparations to cleanse and strengthen the body in the wake of further energy upheavals within. I collapsed thrice and wriggled like a snake on the floor, twitching in pain that was blissful too. The Yoga practices that I took up from Tavayogi, revealed Agathiyar, had awakened the Muladhara chakra and the energies residing within in 2007. Subsequently, it ponded and stagnated at Svadishtana, causing me to bear untold miseries and pain for some 2 1/2 years beginning in 2010. These "attacks" came again in 2016 and 2018. Finally, Lord Muruga came simultaneously through the Nadi reading and a devotee to end it all. Agathiyar came to break the bund and release the pent-up energy in 2022, that swirled and made its way swiftly within days to the Sahasrara, where it swirled and settled, flowering, not before giving me a taste of death. If, as a kid, he had given me a taste of leaving the body and hovering above it, close to the ceiling in my family home, watching myself, my parents, and siblings sleep before plunging with great speed back into my body, at the age of 63 he had me witness and narrate to my wife, how my torso and body from the neck below become a log ready to be burned in the funeral pyre. Asking him what I should do further, he tells me nothing and to just watch. She, the energy, will do her work, he said. In asking me to share all these experiences with my readers, Agathiyar tells me it should inform them of what to expect on this journey. 

Then Lord Murugan comes to caution me and make me aware of the game or Lila that Lord Shiva had cooked up and had Agathiyar and Indran put into place. This was a lesson in seeing through the veil of illusion, Maya. Rereading Dr. C. Srinivasan's "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami," Ramalinga Adigal jolts us from our seats further from our self-proclaimed position of spiritual authority, and unseats our belief that we are now a saviour for mankind, wiping clean the thought that we have fathomed the secrets. Ramalinga Adigal, in describing the journey, points out the palaces, thrones, snares, and traps clearly. 

• Living a Mundane Life/ Normal Wakefulness/ Jeeva Sakiram,
• Taking the First Step towards Realization/ Perfect Wakefulness/ Sutha Sakiram/ Sariyai/ Path of the Servant/ TaataMaargam/ Saloka,
• The Search Begins to Satisfy the Yearning/ Perfect Dream/ Sutha Sorpanam/ Kriyai/ The Good Son/ Sarputra Maargam/ Saameepam,
• Madly in Love with God/ Perfect Ignorance/ Sutha Suluthi/ Yogam/ Companion/ Saga Maargam/ Saarupam,
• Attaining Union/ Perfect Experience/ Sudha Turiyam/ Saayutchyam,
• Receiving Grace/ Supramental Dream/ Para Sorpanam,
• Higher Ignorance/ Supramental Unknowing/ Para Suluthi/ Sutha Sithantham,
• Divine Life/ Uyir Anubhavam/ Guru Sakiram/ Shiva Sakiram/ Sutha Nathantham,
• The Shower of Supreme Grace/ Arul Anubhavam,
• Supreme Dream/ Guru Sorpanam/ Shiva Sorpanam/ Sutha Kalantham,
• Supreme Tranquility/ Guru Suluthi/ Shiva Suzhuthi/ Sutha Bothantham,
• The Merger/ Body of Grace/ Pranava Deham/ Guru Turiyam/ Shiva Turiyam/ Periya Shiva Anubhavam/ Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga,
• There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express, writes G. Vanmikanathan, namely Sudha Shiva Sakiram or Absolute supreme consciousness, Sudha Shiva Sorpanam, Sudha Shiva Suluthi, Sudha Shiva Turiyam, Sudha Shiva Turiyateetam.

Ramalinga Adigal bluntly puts it that once we were ignorant. Then we became perfectly ignorant. Further to that we become highly ignorant. It is a slap on the face indeed. 

The Siddhas, too, have revealed these secrets through their songs. Unfortunately, it is coated and veiled as Paripasai and beyond our understanding. A mere reading would not suffice to know its meaning. We have to travel and experience, and only then can we see assurances, revelations, and similarities. But just when we think we have the answer, the Siddhas lift us to the next level, where all that was known earlier does not hold water. It goes on and on. It has been going on for eons and will go on. 

What we actually know is a little. There is much to fathom. Bhogar was right in answering Agathiyar that he only knew him when all the other Siddhas claimed to know and discover many sciences. The Siddhas indeed come to trash us to the core, removing all of our Ego and pride. It is interesting to note that, starting the journey as an ignorant being, we keep falling into ignorance several times in this journey until we reach the true understanding that we were never separate to begin with. Agathiyar, who has seen through my journey, having me engage in activities for the upliftment of my soul and the souls in society, and had me let go of it all, finally asked that I even let him go. Turning to him, asking how I could let go of my guru and God who had shaped, chiseled, nurtured, taught, cared, and made me into who I am today, he replied as usual with a question, "How else can we become One?" 

THE GAME

What is God's game? We are told that all this is a play and that we are puppets in God's hands. On the other hand, we are told about Karma and how we picked it up during all our previous births. Then we are told that we had indeed a choice in picking our births to experience and live the lives we wanted. Coming here, we receive further blows to the face. If we think it is the general public that is beaten up, even the saints, gurus, and masters have been physically beaten up. They have had their fair share of troubles with troublemakers and authorities, too. If only we could see through this veil that covers our insight and intelligence and prevents us from comprehending the truth behind it all. To seek to know the truth, we have to turn to God, too. Will he be honest and reveal his play to us? Lord Muruga did. Yes, he asked me to beware of the play that Lord Siva, Agathiyar, and Indran had put into place. 

There were numerous warning signs of warring factions, even as I questioned why all the movements and establishments initiated under Agathiyar's name could not come under an umbrella during my initial years of search on this path. I then understood that the Ego stood between them. I figured out that God's play was to rout out the Ego. For the Ego to leave, humility has to come. I have yet to see humble masters like my own gurus Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. After I met Tavayogi on our shores and Agathiyar in a Nadi reading told me to spend some days with Tavayogi whom he pointed to me as my guru, at his ashram, I told Supramania Swami what Agathiyar had told me. He gladly sent me off to meet Tavayogi, asking me to send his regards to him. Upon my return, he asked how my guru fared. When masters and gurus tend to claim ownership of their disciples, forbidding them to seek elsewhere, even questioning their intent, once they come under their fold, here was one man who sent me off happily. Tavayogi too never laid any rules. In fact, he wanted us to be free to fly, telling us that we should not be caged. Guhai Namasivayar sent his disciple, Guru Namasivayar, away once he knew that his student had progressed well. A story is told of a young monk sent away to see the world after years at the monastery. Agathiyar too told us that as parents our responsibility is only until they grow up and can take care of their needs. 

Agathiyar revealed the nature of the Soul or Atma in his memo to us some years back. He spoke first about creation, beginning with what is closest to us and visible, the body or the Udal, and how the Pancha Butham, the five elements, namely water, earth, sky, air, and fire, derived from both the parents' bodies, coming together as the  Nun Uyir in certain proportions, Earth 1/3, Water 4/3, Fire 5/6, Air 8/2, Sky 1/8, to take a form and shape in the womb, become the embryo. We understood it as deriving 1 portion of Earth from the mother and 3 from the father, 4 portions of Water from the mother and 3 from the father, and so on and so forth, coming together to take the form of an embryo in the womb.

As these proportions are determined by Lord Brahma, he is considered the creator. I guess so that we do not influence his decisions with our asking, Lord Brahma is not worshipped. When the proportions differ, there appear to be defects in the baby. 

The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its control in a secretive, subtle manner. This subtlety stays from 1 to 5 Varagai with the child before it's veiled. Agathiyar told us that he could not reveal the reason for it to be veiled back then. Nevertheless, he told us that the Atma will return unto us depending on our actions. The Soul that devises and engineers this body is held captive by our Ego. It is time we freed our souls. It is time we listened to our souls. 

WHAT IS OUR STAND?

What's a home if no one lives in it? People like us and pets bring life to an otherwise abandoned house. A home is empty without our presence. We bring cheer and laughter into it. We carry pleasant and bitter memories of our stay in it. Willie Nelson sings in his song "Little House on the Hill," bringing us fond memories of our homes, too.

Similarly, the soul is yearning to go back to its home. Forever awake even in sleep. Although the senses are temporarily disconnected, the soul keeps watch, responds to others' calls, and awakens us promptly. But, sadly, we do not consider the soul real as much as we consider the "I" sense. We tend to give more attention to the "I" rather than connecting with our souls.

We tend to see duality in many matters. There seem to be two sides to the coin in all matters. Day and Night; Rich and Poor; Sick and Healthy; Yin and Yang; Dvaita and Advaita; and many more. Similarly, some reach out to others, while some steer clear. Just when I had arrived at the crossroads a couple of days ago and I had a BIG QUESTION for Agathiyar, and as I awaited Agathiyar for an answer, it came to me. The question and doubt was "Am I to be involved in things happening around me or just be a witness and let things be or happen?" If it is a BIG "YES" and that I should stick my nose into it, then another question comes up - How far should I dip my hands into others' matters and other matters? If it were a "NO", and that it was all God's Lila and play, and all is well and meant to happen and is happening according to his will, yes, we would find peace in keeping our distance. But when the matter encroaches on our living room and shares the couch with us, we cannot possibly be a spectator anymore, can we? We have to act, right? If Spider-Man had intervened and stopped the robber in the store, his uncle Ben would be alive, right? Can the army, police, firefighters, and doctors adopt the stand that all is well in moments of war, crime, calamities, and accidents? So the BIG question is, do I mind my business or do something about it, whatever it is?

Agathiyar, in bringing humanity the 5 tenets that he placed before the Godly gathering of Sages and Rishis, during the Sangam Age, pointed out to us our social responsibility towards others and the society, besides knowing our purpose here. He says that we have an obligation on our part to "dutifully aid and help the ongoing evolution of all co-existing human beings." Can we equate those who reach out to others in their times of need as Siddhas and those who apparently seem to remain unmoved like a rock as Gnani? Agathiyar, through the medium of Nadi and its revelations shared in the blog "Sitthan Arul", gives us an idea of who these Siddhas are. Agathiyar, who reveals the workings of Karma, and in doing so reveals the workings of the Siddhas and the workings of creation itself, reveals how he personally takes stock of devotees' wishes and prayers and brings and delivers each individual's prayers personally to the Lord. We saw him take up my wife's request for her ailing parents to Lord Siva personally some time back. Similarly, he brings us the solutions and tells us how to confront matters and act too. If the lesser deities, as they are classified and worshipped by numerous individual communities, are seen to take up the offerings and "physically" attend to and remove obstacles or grant wishes, the Siddhas have us involve ourselves in seeking a solution to our problems. For the general public and occasional traveller who drops by at the inn to quench his thirst, they have them go on pilgrimages, "sweating it out", in doing so, have them shed some portion of their Karma while making the journey. In collecting and making the offerings, they shed further their Karma. In having them sit and witness Yagams conducted through priests who act as proxies at these places of worship, they finally burn the last remaining bits of Karma in the sacred fire. 

For others who have begun to believe in and walk with them, they have them recite Mantras and sing praises, and personally perform Homams. For those few who are seen listening and following their dictates, the Siddhas use them as conduits to bring and do some good for all of creation, where their acts go beyond individual gains but instead are done for the good of all of creation. Agathiyar, in having me carry out the Homam, which was introduced to me by Tavayogi and which I reluctantly did as I did not want to be caught in rituals, told me that I was not doing it for myself but for the good of the world around us. If initially I was asked to rehearse each ritual before the big day, the Siddhas came to carry it out and lead us on later. During the height of the pandemic, Lord Siva asked that we help Mother Earth and Prapanjam heal and recover by carrying out the Homam in our homes.

So did Agathiyar have us do charity to mellow our hearts and bring out the compassion and love in us towards others. Now, how can we turn to look the other way and not address others' suffering? It is cruel to do nothing. It is further cruel to justify that he or she deserves it and it is his or her Karma. If Mother Teresa had ignored the dying, those who were left to die on the streets, and walked by them, who would have given them a decent last farewell? Agathiyar too asked me where I would go if he chose to shut his ears and not hear or listen to my pleas in times of trouble? We see where Agathiyar is bringing us. He wanted us to listen to others' problems. While he wanted us to come to the aid of others, he asks us to stop short of listening, while he attends to what needs to be done. It is alike surrendering our problems to the divine and letting him take care of them. 

Some saints settle in peace, telling us that all was well and that it was the will of God, it was the result of one's Karma, and it was all happening as it should. These are the Gnanis. When I met Tavayogi in Malaysia, the very first time, looking around, he had observed and told me that we were very much into temple worship. He wanted us to come out of it and into Gnanam. Having spent many years exploring his "Self" after becoming a hermit, leaving his family and business, Agathiyar intervened on his wish to attain Samadhi and told him to seek out a place called Agathiyar Vanam. He soon located it at Kallar and pitched a hut that soon came to become Agathiyar's temple. When the land he squatted on was contested by its rightful owner, a Samaritan built an alternative temple for Agathiyar some 2 kilometers away. I asked him what the need was for a temple when he was asking us to move on to Gnanam. He replied that it was for the people. He did daily puja and lit the Yagam on occasions. Saint Raghavendra, in coming to his disciple who was worried sick about the state of the Brindavanam that he had envisioned and built, upon his death, reminded him that the physical temple was for others and that the true temple and abode of his was within his heart. 

There are four phases in this journey, beginning with Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and ending with Gnanam. Although Tavayogi told us in good faith that we should come to Gnanam, Agathiyar decided that we should start from the beginning, like many others, with home worship and later turn the home into a temple. It was not to be an external temple, but just as in keeping the temple clean, and carrying out Puja, he has us clear our internals and cleanse our thoughts and prepare our body for the arrival of the Divine. The very body was to become an abode of God, or rather, we were to return the abode that was once his and that since then was hijacked by the Ego, back to its rightful owner, the Divine. A change in our mentality and acceptance, and discovery of our self as divine, and the body its abode, dawns. This is Gnanam. I believe that Siddhas, failing to bring people to Gnanam, hence they decided to erect temples, leaving them something to hold on to and worship. They come to them when they are ready. Osho tells us that the true spirit of divinity is not in the innermost sacred chambers in temples but some distance away. True to his words, Tavayogi would lead me straight to a spot and reveal it as a Siddha's Samadhi. We would leave after his meditation at this spot. Asking me to build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading in 2002, and with Lord Muruga joining the bandwagon later in 2018, when I did not move, for the sole reason that I had seen enough of the problems that came with it, they showed me that their true dwelling was within us. Today I am at peace at home and with myself and others. They had brought me eventually to Gnanam. Our journey here itself is a transition from one state to another state of knowing and experiencing, and finally attaining Gnanam. 

Living a Mundane Life/ Normal Wakefulness/ Jeeva Sakiram

To start with, some lead a mundane life spiced by their seeking of pleasure that satisfies their five senses. These souls come to fulfill their desires and wishes carried from earlier births. There is no further purpose for them. Nothing new or new learning is gained or registered in this birth. Dr. C. Srinivasan, in his book "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami," describes them as human beings leading a mundane life without even a thought of their transient nature. Ramalinga Adigal, in classifying the various stages of spiritual experiences, names this as the state of Jeeva Sakiram or Normal Wakefulness. 

Taking the First Step towards Realization/ Perfect Wakefulness/ Sutha Sakiram/ Sariyai/ Path of the Servant/ TaataMaargam/ Saloka

Then we have those who follow their parents and exhibit devotion and Bhakti, and come to realize or gain spiritual awareness of the momentary nature of life while staying conscious of the world and external objects and enjoying gross things. This, according to Ramalinga Adigal, is Sutha Sakiram or Perfect Wakefulness. He is on the path of Sariyai, and this is the first state of the soul, he says. He has yet to experience the divine though. G. Vanmikanathan, in his book "Pathway to God Trod by Saint Ramalingar," throws some light on "Shiva Gnana Siddhiyar", which elaborates further on the four paths. Just as a servant lives in a king's palace, Sariyai, also known as Taatamaargam, is the path of a servant. In carrying out these services, he attains Salokyam, which means gaining a Darshan of God, having a vision of him for a certain period, or being in the same world as God.

P. Thirugnanasambandhan in his "The Concept of Bhakti" published by the University of Madras, 1971, writes that "Starting from the first rung of the ladder, as the servant of God, the soul practices Carya, consisting of external duties such as cleaning and lighting God's temples, adorning the images of God with garlands, praising God and attending to the needs of devotees. For these deeds, the soul is rewarded with Saloka or dwelling in the region of God."

The Search Begins to Satisfy the Yearning/ Perfect Dream/ Sutha Sorpanam/ Kriyai/ The Good Son/ Sarputra Maargam/ Saameepam

P. Thirugnanasambandhan speaks on having been a servant in Sariyai, "the soul arriving in the Kriya stage becomes a son of God and renders more intimate service than before, such as invoking God's presence, serving him with love and praise and other acts of service like Sivapuja, besides attending to the burning of incense, collecting flowers, etc. the reward for service of this type is Samipya or dwelling near God." 

G. Vanmikanathan adds that, then, "when one seeks to see the Lord and feels inseparable from him and untiringly searches for God, he begins to see beyond the gross and enjoys the subtle things. This is Sutha Sorpanam, or the state of Perfect dream. The soul has stepped into the second state. He walks the path of Kriyai now. Kriyai is also known as Sarputramaargam or the path of the good son who brings fragrant flowers, incense, lamp, materials for the bath or libation, and offerings, goes to a suitable place, cleans the place by the five processes, places a seat (for the God), installs the image of God thereon, meditates on the form of God and the light that is God, invokes him to descend and occupy the image. He worships him with great devotion, with flower offerings and songs and obeisance, performing with ardor the religious acts associated with the sacrificial fire. Those who do these acts daily will abide by the side of the Lord. He gets to come close or Saameepam to God in his audience chamber for a period."

Madly in Love with God/ Perfect Ignorance/ Sutha Suluthi/ Yogam/ Companion/ Saga Maargam/ Saarupam

P. Thirugnanasambandhan brings us to "the next stage of Yoga, the Sakha Marga, where the soul becomes the friend of God and thus is nearer God. Withdrawing its senses from the material objects, it concentrates on the contemplation of Siva. This is rewarded by Sarupya, which is to have the same form as Siva but not the essence." 

G. Vanmikanathan writes, "Now he is madly in love with God. He has neither dreams nor desires of his own. The soul becomes temporarily one with Brahman and enjoys bliss. This is the state of Sudha Suluthi, or Perfect ignorance (sound sleep or dreamless state). He treads the path of Yogam. This is the 3rd state of the soul. Yogam brings him to Sagamaargam, the path of companionship. Being engaged in the contemplation of the whole effulgence by the process of controlling the (five) senses, obstructing the flow of the two breaths and bringing it to a state of non-motion, gaining knowledge of the six centers (plexus) (in the body) and understanding their deep significance, passing through them to the top, partaking of the ambrosia from the region of the moon (within the human body) and storing it up to the fullest extent in the body, and other acts. Going through all the eight phases of Yoga, he attains Saarupam, which means a pada-mukthi, or a graded Mukthi where the devotee gains for a period a similarity of form with God."

Attaining Union/ Perfect Experience/ Sudha Turiyam/ Saayutchyam/ 

"Shiva Gnana Siddhiyar"  now brings us to attaining Saayutchyam, or union with the Godhead via Sanmaargam. Here now the grace of God descends and one's soul ascends in response. The veils covering the soul for generations are shed one after the other. The soul is cleansed by God, whom Ramalinga Adigal knows only as Arutperunjhoti. The spontaneous impulse of love for God results in absolute union with Brahman. He now attains the state of Sudha Turiyam or gains the Perfect experience. He reaches the state of Supra-mental awareness, where he experiences Supreme Grace or Arul Oliyal. His soul has attained the 4th stage. Ramalinga Adigal calls it Shiva Jnana Nilai.

P. Thirugnanasambandhan writes that the soul "progresses further in the Jnana Marga to reach the final goal of Sayujya, from where there is no return. Sayujya is a state of the union of God and soul, a mysterious union of either so that God and soul exist with their respective attributes, the former as the source of bliss and the latter as the recipient of the same." 

Receiving Grace/ Supramental Dream/ Para Sorpanam

Ramalinga Adigal describes the state as where he then enjoys the grace of the Lord and transcends normal consciousness, going into a state of ecstasy. Ramalinga Adigal names it Para Sorpanam or Supramental dream. 

Higher Ignorance/ Supramental Unknowing/ Para Suluthi/ Sutha Sithantham

G. Vanmikanathan writes further that when the shackles are removed by Arutperunjhoti, he gains heavenly experiences. Above this stage, God is unmanifested. Ramalinga Adigal goes on to describe this state as that of Para Suluthi, or Higher ignorance or Supra mental unknowing. He defines it as stepping onto the first of the divine path or Sutha Sithantham. 

Though we have arrived this far, Ramalinga Adigal considers it as still waking in Ignorance. If it should come as a balm to heal our Ego, it is only one of Higher Ignorance. 

Self-realization/ Atma Tarisanam/ Supramental Perfection/ Para Turiyam/ Sutha Vethantham/ 

Now he begins to taste God and sings the glory of Arutperunjhoti writes G. Vanmikanathan. Self-realization or Atma Tarisanam dawns as he realizes the soul is an atom as brilliant as the sun. The soul is charged with divine grace. He realizes the greatness of God's grace and his smallness. This is the state of Para Turiyam or Supra-mental perfection that brings on Ananda Nilai. This is the 2nd of the divine paths called Sutha Vethantham.

Divine Life/ Uyir Anubhavam/ Guru Sakiram/ Shiva Sakiram/ Sutha Nathantham

G. Vanmikanathan writes further. When one perceives God in the form of light, the soul is saturated with compassion and love. He gains the experience of divine life or Uyir Anubhavam. Uyir Anubavam results from a transformation to a pure body. Universal love incarnates as he sees the spontaneous flow of God in him. This is Guru Sakiram or Shiva Sakiram, the 3rd of the divine path, now known as Sutha Nathantham.

The Shower of Supreme Grace/ Arul Anubhavam

Ramalinga Adigal according to G. Vanmikanathan describes this state as attaining a purified body or golden body. The extent of achievement is dependent on the grace of Arutperunjhoti. He begins to see divinity in all creatures. He sees God in the form he is ready to receive. He enjoys supreme grace or Arul Anubhavam.

Supreme Dream/ Guru Sorpanam/ Shiva Sorpanam/ Sutha Kalantham

When divinity descends in the individual, it is Guru Sorpanam or Shiva Sorpanam or the Supreme dream. This 4th rung of the divine path is called Sutha Kalantham.

Supreme Tranquility/ Guru Suluthi/ Shiva Suzhuthi/ Sutha Bothantham

When Supreme grace flows and prepares the aspirant for the next stage, he settles in Guru Suluthi or Shiva Suzhuthi or Supreme tranquility, the 5th in the divine path, namely Sutha Bothantham.

The Merger/ Body of Grace/ Pranava Deham/ Guru Turiyam/ Shiva Turiyam/ Periya Shiva Anubhavam/ Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga

The body then transforms into Pranava Deham, or the body of grace, and merges with Arutperunjhoti. He beats death. He stands at Guru Turiyam or Shiva Turiyam in the state of bliss, Anandha Nilai bringing on Periya Shiva Anubhavam. This is now the 6th on the divine path that Ramalinga Adigal terms as Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga.

There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express, writes G. Vanmikanathan, namely Sudha Shiva Sakiram or Absolute supreme consciousness, Sudha Shiva Sorpanam, Sudha Shiva Suluthi, Sudha Shiva Turiyam, Sudha Shiva Turiyateetam. 

WALKING TALL

Agathiyar is considered the foremost of the Siddhas by Dr. Mandayam Kumar of the Siddha Medical Research Institute, Bangalore, in his article "Siddha Agasthya - Foremost of the Siddhas", a result of literary research on a Tamil manuscript "Prapancha Kaandam" attributed to Lord Murugan and written on Nadi or palm leaves about 3,000 years ago. Agathiyar dictated the contents of the Nadi while his student Pulastyar recorded it. A well-traveled Agathiyar who became a disciple of Nandi and Dhanvantri, practiced yoga and taught it to his large following of disciples. Agathiyar could see impending calamities take place in the future during his meditation. Amidst all the geographical changes that took place, Agathiyar went seeking a place that would not be affected by future calamities. He located a mountain range, Mahadeva Giri, in southern India. This is the present-day Courtalam. Here, Agathiyar met Lord Shiva and Uma in the form of Dhakshinamurthi and Shenbaga Devi and Lord Muruga. Other Siddhas, including Bhogar from China, Thaeraiyar from Malaya, Yugimuni from Kerala, Pulipani from Kantha Malai, Pulastyar, and Kapiyar, started coming here. Lord Dhakshinamurthi revived the knowledge of the Vedas and instructed these Siddhas to propagate this knowledge. The Siddhas recorded their knowledge on the 64 kinds of learning, 18 Puranas, 96 tattvas, and 48 branches of scientific knowledge on palm leaves after extensive discussions held in Alagan Kulam and presented them to Lord Dhakshinamurthi for his perusal. The entire literature in Tamil came to be called "Siddhaveda". An institution known as Siddhar Gnana Koodam was inaugurated by Lord Murugan and was headed by Agathiyar. Pulastyar and Kapilar headed the literary section while Pulipani headed in research section. Thaeraiyar, who was into surgery, headed a medical research center established at Thorana Malai. Yugimuni, who was into herbal medicines, headed an Ayurvedic hospital at Paradesi Kundai. Bhogar, who was in charge of all scientific research, established an alchemy research center at Tiruparankundram. Pambatti was heading a team researching venom at Marudamalai. After heading these institutions, Agathiyar started on an extensive mission of propagating the wealth of knowledge gained by these Siddhas in Tibet, Manchuria, Egypt, Palestine, Rome, America, Africa, Malaya, and the Arab world. His work seems to continue to this day. He wants to make a Siddha out of all who come to know and worship him, and most importantly, are willing to listen and put into practice the lessons structured towards bringing a total transformation of body and mind. Though I do not deserve it, Agathiyar is working hard to get me there, too.

For want of answers, the divine sparked a yearning in me to know about our culture and tradition that soon brought me to want to know about religion. Seeing my confusion and anger towards the Gods and deities for bringing on sufferings to close ones, Lord Siva came in a dream in 1988 to have me put off all my questions to a later date. That day came some 14 years later, where meanwhile I dropped worship, reading, and discussions, and began to focus on family and career. Passing me the Vasudeva Mantra in 2001 in a mysterious manner, that cleared the knots and obstacles, internally and externally, respectively, Agathiyar paved the way for me to meet my gurus. Calling me in for a Nadi reading, the following year, he sent me on a pilgrimage to temples in 2003, where he had me shed my past Karma that stood in my way, depriving me of the benefits of my earlier Puja and Yoga practice that I picked up from books. Sending me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, I received a boon. Swami left behind the merits of his 40 years of austerities, Tavam, and Tapas that escalated my journey. Sending Tavayogi over to our shores in 2005, he officially initiated me into the path of the Siddhas and had me learn rituals that bridged both worlds, that of ours with the Siddhas, bringing on their visitations to my humble home that took the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). Tavayogi threw in a treasure during his visit in 2007, in the form of certain Yoga practices that brought in the flood waters (Prana) that burst the dam at Muladhara. Agathiyar, with his touch, burst the dam in 2022, freeing the flood waters that had ponded at Svadishtana since 2020, enabling the release and flow of the energies (Sakthi) again. She made her way through the remaining Chakras in a jiffy and reached the ocean of bliss, Sahasrara, uniting with her other half, Siva, within days. The flowering and subsequent opening of the 1000 petals takes place even today, where the subtle tap dance of the Divine Feet (Cosmic Dance) is felt. The three Doshas, Vata, Kapha, and Pitta, are continuously expelled from my body. I am growing black hair, and the patch of bald on my head has closed. I have lost sleep, waking up in the wee hours of the night. It is 2.30am and I am penning this post. I have a ferocious appetite for food that is satisfied immediately, taking only a few morsels of food. Sexual urges peak, and I satisfy them too. Compassion and love are at their peak, too. The body aches from head to toe. Pain has become bliss these days. 

As I said earlier, Agathiyar wants to make a Siddha out of us, all those who come to know and worship him, and most importantly, are willing to listen and put into practice the lessons structured towards bringing a total transformation of body and mind. Though I do not deserve it, Agathiyar is working hard to get me there, too. Just as we hear a line mentioned in the trailer of the upcoming game, "Expedition 33", "Even if we fail we will leave a trail for those who come after" and just as Supramania Swami said that we shall continue to polish our ware till we succeed and Tavayogi telling us that in event we fail we shall come back to continue from where we left, let us walk tall as Agathiyar's child.

THE LIGHT

The piece on J. Krishnamurti, which I shared in the previous post, truly conveys what Agathiyar and the Siddhas told us. Just as J. Krishnamurti asked only one thing of us, "To look not with the eyes of knowledge, not with the eyes of belief, but with eyes washed clean of yesterday", Lord Siva coming in a dream in 1988 had me shelve all my questions and doubts that came with seeing, listening, reading, understanding and experiences until then, to a later date. I attended to my family, career, and responsibilities, dropping all discussion and reading on religion and spirituality. He wiped the slate clean so that Agathiyar could come into my life through a Nadi reading in 2002 and write afresh. Agathiyar came to help me wipe out my predestined fate, and Lord Muruga came later in 2018 to chart a new destiny. 

J. Krishnamurti was seen by the Theosophical Society as the vehicle for a coming world teacher and was clothed, trained, and revered. Just as he was not a holy man wrapped in the robes of tradition, Agathiyar kept me in his folds, letting me remain a householder, telling me that I did not need to lead an ascetic life. Agathiyar sent some thirty youths over to my home in 2013 to learn Siddha worship that I had been doing since 2002. My home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). He asked me to build a temple for him, and upon seeing my reluctance, he turned my home into a temple that was affirmed by Lord Muruga later. Just as one day, Krishnamurti gave it all back, Agathiyar had me wind up the group and my association with it in the wake of the pandemic in 2019. Agathiyar, by dissolving the group, sent out a clear message to all at AVM. Krishnamurti echoed the words of Agathiyar in telling us that "Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path, whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect." It was truly "more than a rebellion." It was "a revolution in consciousness" for me then, now, and in the days to come. Just as Krishnamurti walked alone and invited others not to follow him but to walk alone as well, I was asked to go within, telling me that henceforth the path was narrow and it shall be a lone and solo walk for me. Years later, he asks me if he should make me a guru too, but he immediately changes his mind. I am glad he did that. He had saved me.

Just as Krishnamurti traveled the world not as a teacher with answers but as a mirror, both Tavayogi and Agathiyar also did not provide answers but rather had us look within for the answers. My gurus had us relook at our questions and await the answers from the voice within. Just as Krishnamurti asked questions that cut deep, both Tavayogi and Agathiyar tore me apart with words that cut deep, too.

Just as Krishnamurti asked, "Can you observe without naming? Can you look at a tree, a thought, a wound without bringing the past into it? Can you live without comparison, without becoming, without fear?" and asked not for belief but for insight, not for obedience but for freedom, not for worship but for attention," so too did Tavayogi and Agathiyar teach us the same after having us go through the routine phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam.  

Just as Krishnamurti "returned to silence, not the silence of withdrawal but the silence that is born when the noise of thoughts subsides, a silence that is not created but revealed, a silence that is", Agathiyar had me stay in solitude and be silent allowing me to touch the silence that prevailed beneath all the noise and din, thoughts and actions, cries and laughter, speech and sermons, reading and discussions, experience and lessons. 

Just as Krishnamurti's "life was simple, a small house, a garden, long walks, conversations with friends, the scent of flowers in the air," Agathiyar placed a small home with a garden in my lap, while Tavayogi took me on long walks having me look at nature and its beauty and learn a thing or two from them too. I began to appreciate nature too, just as Krishnamurti "loved nature not sentimentally but deeply, watching the movement of trees, the stillness of mountains, the flight of birds not as symbols but as revelations of beauty that asked for nothing".

Just as he did not "cling to the known, burying his 'thought, memory, and identity". Agathiyar too taught us not to cling to life and all the goodness that it showered on us, bringing us to the phase where everything we held on to dies a natural death and drops even before we drop this mortal frame. Krishnamurti spent his entire life preparing for death without preparing, dying each day, which the Siddhas phrased as, "To Die without Dying." He told us, "To live is to die every day, to die to the past, to die to the self, to die to everything that is not love". Eventually, when death came, Krishnamurti saw it as "not the end, not an event, simply the unfolding of what had always been, an unknowable mystery, not to be conquered but to be embraced". Agathiyar too questioned my fear of death and told me to usher and invite it instead, when the time comes to leave this mortal frame, adding that it was a start to another journey. In telling us that, "I do not mind if I die tomorrow. I have lived. I have seen the stars. I have heard the song of the birds. I have touched the sacred", it reminded me of my similar stand that I had shared with my family and close friends. 

Finally, Krishnamurti, like Mahakavi Bharathi, "lay resting, there were no crowds, no ceremony, just a handful of close companions, some of whom had walked beside him for decades." "They sat in silence, not out of reverence but because there was nothing left to say."

Just as he mentioned that "No one can represent me. Nobody. Never. You can get into a mess if you do. You have to be a light to yourself in a world that is utterly becoming dark", Agathiyar had each one of us become a light to ourself after having us light the candle next to us and setting them on their individual internal journey, one of discovery and returning to their original Self. It was not becoming something but returning to being our true Self. 

Just as I wrote in the last post, "In actuality, all messages are one. But man chooses to glorify each path and master, and eventually goes to war with each other", at the core of spirituality is the Soul that is One. Connecting with it connects us to all of creation. Agathiyar attests to this, telling us that he is the Prapanjam that is in all of us and in which we all reside. We are one. If we hurt another, we hurt ourselves too.

Krishnamurti outshone the other stars in the night sky and shall be remembered for ages. His story, like Tavayogi's, was not about one who chose to live alone, but that of one who touched another person and changed others' lives. I have to thank my stars for a good life. I am not a saint, having made blunders in life that I am ashamed of, yet the divine chose to shower its grace on me with Agathiyar pacifying me, saying that I needed that experience, too. 

THE TRUE MASTERS

A young girl Tatiana Aya Tupinamba hailing from Brazil leaves New York, for Peru to look for a master to whom nature speaks in the documentary "Curandera". What she learned from her master Juan Flores was the importance of silence and quietude. She has a dream in which an old African man tells her that "the most important thing you can do in your life is to touch people's lives."

J. Krishnamurti, in his last days, is said to have been silent. The transcript from the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=310LHMb9tgg goes as follows.

He was not a philosopher in the traditional sense. He was not a mystic, nor a preacher, nor a holy man wrapped in the robes of tradition. He was something else, entirely something unnameable, a presence, a flame, a whisper in the wind, that asked only one thing of you - to look not with the eyes of knowledge, not with the eyes of belief, but with eyes washed clean of yesterday. 

He was seen by the Theosophical Society as the vehicle for a coming world teacher. They clothed him, trained him, and revered him. They gave him everything a messiah could ever need except perhaps the freedom to be. And one day, he gave it all back. In 1929, in a moment now echoing through the corridors of history, Krishnamurti stood before thousands and dissolved the very organization created to promote him. In a calm and unwavering voice, he said, "Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path, whatsoever by any religion, by any sect." It was more than a rebellion. It was a revolution in consciousness.

From that moment on he belonged to no one. No country. No religion. No system of belief. He walked alone and invited others not to follow him but to walk alone as well.

For over six decades, he traveled the world not as a teacher with answers but as a mirror that refused to flatter. He asked questions that cut deep. Questions that tore through the illusions we build our lives upon. He spoke in tents in India, universities in Europe, halls in America and under olive trees and quiet gardens. He asked, "Can you observe without naming? Can you look at a tree, a thought, a wound without bringing the past into it? Can you live without comparison, without becoming, without fear? He asked not for belief but for insight. Not for obedience but for freedom. Not for worship but for attention. And always he returned to silence. Not the silence of withdrawal but the silence that is born when the noise of thoughts subsides. A silence that is not created but revealed. A silence that is.

He was not easy to listen to. He made no promises. He offered no comfort. He never said do this and you will be saved. He said see. He said listen. He said you are the world. In his presence, many felt something strange. Not holiness. Not awe but an unsettling clarity as if all mass had fallen away. And there was only this - A human being fully awake looking into you.

His life was simple. A small house. A garden. Long walks. Conversations with friends. The scent of flowers in the air. He loved nature not sentimentally but deeply. He watched the movement of trees. The stillness of mountains. The flight of birds not as symbols but as revelations of beauty that asked for nothing.

And so the years passed. The body aged. The hair turned silver. The voice became softer but the flame did not waver. The light never dimmed. Then in the final season of his life at the age of 90, J. Krishnamurti was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a silent illness, a quiet erosion of the physical body but not of the mind. Not of awareness. Even as his body weakened, he remained alert, present deeply watchful. He continued to meet with close friends to speak in whispers that carried the same sharpness. The same fire. There was no fear in him. No sense of tragedy. No clinging to the known. He had spent his entire life preparing for this without preparing. Dying each day to thought. To memory. To identity. He had often said "To live is to die every day. To die to the past. To die to the self. To die to everything that is not love. And now death was not a visitor. It had come to stay. But for him it was not the end. Not an event. It was simply the unfolding of what had always been. An unknowable mystery. Not to be conquered but to be embraced. In a small house in Ohio, California, as the winter sun cast its soft glow over the hills, he lay resting. There were no crowds. No ceremony. Just a handful of close companions, some of whom had walked beside him for decades. They sat in silence not out of reverence but because there was nothing left to say.

Shortly before he passed J. Krishnamurti gave a final statement. No one can represent me. Nobody. Never. You can get into a mess if you do. You have to be a light to yourself in a world that is utterly becoming dark. It was not an instruction. Not a warning. It was a final gift. 

And then on February 17th 1986 as evening descended he slipped away quietly, gently, without drama. There was no ritual. No chanting. No final declaration. Only silence. And in that silence something immense was present. Not a man. Not a teaching. Not a legacy but stillness itself. The very thing he had always pointed to.

He was 90 years old. But such a being does not end because he never claimed a beginning. He had once said "I do not mind if I die tomorrow. I have lived. I have seen the stars. I have heard the song of the birds. I have touched the sacred." And so he left. Not behind a following. Not behind a school but behind a living question: Can you be a light to yourself? Can you see without distortion? Can you love without fear? He left behind no successor. No system. No path. Only the invitation to begin again: Each moment. Each breath. Each glance at a tree. A bird. A stranger. He is gone but what he pointed to remains. Not in books. Not in temples. But in the quiet awareness of those who dare to look. Who dare to listen. Who dare to be. 

If Juan Flores reminds me of Agathiyar to whom the plants and trees spoke, J. Krishnamurti reminds me of Tavayogi in every way. He also reminds me of the messages that Agathiyar gave me and had me do. In actuality, all messages are one. But man chooses to glorify each path and master, and eventually goes to war with each other.

DIRECT EXPERIENCE

I am glad that my effort, after my first Nadi reading on 14.12.2002, to seek a spot and space to build a shrine for Agathiyar and install his statue in the existing temples, failed. For one, currently, we see a hive of activity in verifying if existing temples are legally built or otherwise. Many have been asked to move out for encroaching on others' land, or to enable expansion and development to take place. If I had been given the green light to install Agathiyar, in my state of joy, I would not have questioned the legality of these temples and spent money and time on it only to have it demolished later or moved to another site if the temple was seen to be squatting on someone's land or there was a plan for future expansion of public amenities. 

Another reason I am glad it did not take off is that I would have been stuck to his image and have others believe too that Agathiyar had a form, as depicted in the statue. Today, we know and accept Agathiyar as the Prapanjam beyond form and name. Many cannot bring themselves to understand this concept and truth. It is sad that some are so caught up in forms and names and cannot see beyond these. When I dressed up Agathiyar's statue at my home as Lord Ganapathy, and Agathiyar came in the Nadi later on 17 October 2010, telling me that it was the truth and that I had understood it well, someone wrote in a lengthy explanation saying that they were distinct, apart and different. In 2016, when the AVM family and I visited India, I found that a granite statue of Lord Ganapathy was placed at Agathiyar's shrine at the Sri Agathiyar Kumbamunivar Sannadhi in Kumbakonam, which was a popular destination for Agathiyar devotees, confirming what Agathiyar had told me earlier. On 7 September 2024, being Vinayagar Chaturthi, I took my grandchildren over to the temple in their locality. The kids asked to light the ghee lamps. When I asked my three-year-old grandson to sing, he sang the "Happy Birthday" song and "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" nursery rhymes before Lord Ganapathy, screaming his heart out. I let him be. Since we told him it was Lord Ganapathy's birthday, I guess he thought it was appropriate to wish him by singing him the Birthday Song. 

Whatever we know today came through the Rishis who had direct experiences, 

"Srutis have been variously described as a revelation through Anubhava (direct experience), or of primordial origins realized by ancient Rishis." (https://en.wikipedia.org/).

What remained later was that which is remembered or Smrti. Though it originated from these Rishis, much has either been hidden, gone missing, destroyed,  changed, adulterated, or manipulated over time by individuals or parties who had a hidden agenda. From once having direct access to these scriptures, man's ability to perceive, hear, and tap into these scriptures was lost over time. Yogi Ramsuratkumar says that the airways are congested, hence preventing us from tuning in to the messages of the divine.

"In the old days, the scriptures were in the air, and all you had to do was be silent, and you could tune in to the scriptures and hear them. He could feel it, he could live it. But now there is electromagnetic interference from the TVs, from the radios, from the short waves, the cell phones, from all the static we’re putting in the air electronically, and it’s interfering with the scriptures – it’s a big impediment. Your satellites are interfering with this beggar’s work.” 

He adds that Dharma is falling apart because people can no longer hear the scriptures when they are quiet.  (Source: "Meetings With Yogi Ramsuratkumar" by Will Zulkowsky.)

Though the days of directly experiencing the scriptures might be a thing of the past, we are told that this is the Era of Siddhas, where a direct experience of another kind is a possibility in present times, similar to the good old days. My mother used to tell us that the Gods walked the earth in the past. Ramalinga Adigal, who built the Sathya Gnana Sabai in Vadalur, is said to have erected it on the command of Lord Siva, who wanted the heavenly beings to be schooled here. But it was shelved for reasons only known to them. So are the Gods making a comeback? The Siddhas have made themselves available and accessible to us directly for now. They are here to keep their promise to elevate mankind from sinking deeper into Maya. Hence, the possible reason that the Yogi has mentioned, "Kaliyuga has gone. Now it is the God Yuga. This beggar can see God everywhere and not Kali anywhere.” 

As only the direct experience or Anubhava can possibly be retained in the Self and lead one to achieve greater heights in spirituality, the Siddhas had us go to the ground and work ourselves up the spiritual ladder, rung by rung. Taking it up from Sariyai, which was introduced by our parents, with the arrival of the guru in physical form, they brought us to Kriyai. The guru had us come together in Puja and charity, and gave us the confidence to march ahead, bringing both to the masses. From our homes, having us expand our Homam that was done on a small scale to doing large-scale Yagam at temples, he brought us into the public eye and into the limelight. Having had these experiences, gained from external activities, he then brought us to observe our body and mind through Yoga. Thus, the experiences came from within now. These direct experiences gained over time have etched and left their mark on us and can never be forgotten easily. So too does Agathiyar want it not to be forgotten and hence to be documented in the pages of this blog. 

When something happens within us, the next thing we do is ask around or look up if someone has had the same experience, and we compare notes. If initially we sought answers to all our random questions regarding religion, myths, legends, etc, now it is to know what "the hack" was happening within. Unfortunately, there are no reliable references to refer to and rely on. This is where a guru can come in handy, as he has been through these experiences. What do we do in the absence of a guru, then? We are lost. We are desperate to seek answers. It is all customized for each individual. 

One might cry out aloud that he was suffering, having no food and that he was going hungry, had no roof above his head, and had no job, while another in a similar situation might be sitting quietly, accepting his fate and in bliss. If the former is a normal human being, the latter is tagged a Gnani. It is all a matter of experience, perspective, and acceptance. 

Hence, we understand why Agathiyar, who brought us together to carry out rituals and charity, has us travel solo and alone the path of Yoga, for each shall gain its benefit accordingly, according to the time and effort he or she places to keep up with the regime, lessons, and practice given. Many have come by or written to me about these mysterious and incomprehensible experiences taking place within them. How can I help them when I too am having them? I await Agathiyar to enlighten me and then share it in this blog as he wants me to. 

ACCEPTANCE

After my wife and I put our three grandchildren to sleep just days ago, since their parents were out late, I slept with them as there was a thunderstorm outside. Just after midnight, I was awakened to find my second granddaughter pacing towards me on the bed, crying. She was having a stomachache. I brought her downstairs to my wife. Soon her parents arrived too. The next morning, when her elder sister came down, I told her what had happened the previous night. Her sister, who was much better in the morning, started to tell her story to her, but she quipped that she knew it from me. Now her sister turned on me, asking why I told her the story. She would often get pretty "mad" when her siblings told her story to others. She always insisted that she tell her story. Then my daughter teased her, saying that the whole world knows her stories since I had written about her on the blog previously and uploaded videos on YouTube too. My wife stepped in to ease and calm her, telling her about the Vantage Point and to accept others' perspectives too. So I had a story that began with her crawling towards me on the bed, holding on to her dear tummy, complaining of pain. My wife only became aware of the story after she was awakened by my presence carrying our granddaughter into the room. Her parents were only aware of the story after they arrived to see that we had taken care of the situation, and she had fallen asleep again. If each of them entered the timeline at a specific time, her sister got to know the entire story after I informed her the next morning. 

When I went for the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) courses, during my career back then, we were taught to think out of the box. I was amazed to see that the simple exercises given to us in class brought a whole new perspective to the way I saw things till then. The NLP practitioner picked up a credit card and raised it in full view of us, or that is what I thought till then. He then asked each of us to describe the card that he held in his hand. The one sitting straight in front of him said he saw a line. The one to one side of him described in detail the printed words and graphics on the front of the card, while the others seated on the other side described the back of the card. Then I realized that the subject was the same, but when we see things from where we are, it appears different to each one of us; we see it from a different perspective, from a different angle. All the descriptions given by all of us were absolutely correct, although they varied due to where we sat. 

Then we were given another exercise. We were asked to draw an elephant. Since I was good at drawing, I drew a beautiful, detailed picture of an elephant that filled the A3-size paper given to us. It was shown to all, and I gathered praises from my fellow coursemates and the practitioner. As usual, I gave a tug on my collar, hearing the appraisals pour in. Then there was one who drew the elephant so tiny. Another drew the elephant so large that it could not fit into the given sheet. It was fun seeing each person's ability to put on paper what they saw or had retained in their memory. Then the practitioner said he would now draw an elephant. He took his marker pen and placed a dot on a clean sheet of paper. "That is it!" he told us. It was done. Now, where is the elephant we asked him? He replied that that was his elephant seen from outer space. And I realized that he was absolutely right. I learnt that day that all opinions are right from the perspective of that person, which is based on or derived from their upbringing, the society they lived in, the knowledge that they had about that subject, and their personal experiences; that would all go towards tainting or enhancing each person's opinion.

Similarly, when God took various manifestations, the understandings and the paths became varied. That which we adhere to today and follow has seen many changes over time. Though man now sees things from a different perspective and has adapted himself to it, taking what he understands to be true and logical, it was quite different in the days of the past, where the generations adopted whole, stock, and barrel whatever was conveyed to them. Many still follow these to this day. Even heads of religious and spiritual establishments carry on spilling these stories to the masses, narrating stories of demons and Asuras from the Puranas, instilling fear in us. Similarly, the fairy tales and children's stories told again and again over time were often tragic and dark at times. Often, it was about curses and monsters. Fear was instilled in them. I stopped telling stories from the Puranas, and children's fables and stories too. I tell them stories that revolve around us instead, with an element of silliness, as they always enjoyed listening to "silly stories from this silly old man," as in telling her that the neighbor, too, hearing me stomp my way down, had awakened and came to ask why she was crying. The other neighbors too stood at their door to enquire. 

After having me carry out rituals, lead the AVM family, and carry out charity, Agathiyar had me let go of all my attachments by bringing all these to a halt. In the absence of the Nadi readers, Agathiyar, who came through devotees, finally brought me to know that all these are an illusion or Maya, and that it was not all real, and cautioned me, reminding me of Tavayogi telling me the same when he stepped into my home. Although confusion set in back then after hearing this bare truth, today, I understand it pretty well and have begun to see through the veil, the truth, and the false. But if I were to share them in a public forum or this blog, I would be pelted by those who have taken upon themselves the role of guardians of religion and spirituality. 

Just as Bhagawan Ramana tells us that all is going accordingly and it's God's play or Lila, and Neale Donald Walsch writes about his Conversation with God, where God reveals that souls had previously agreed to play their roles, everything changes when we begin to accept and adopt these wise words. Enemity drops when we accept and forgive the harm that another has done to us. We drop our anger towards others when we come to terms with our emotions. Hunger fades away when we look the other way and begin to ignore it. Pain, too, goes away when we accept. My body has been aching from head to toe for the past days, but as Agathiyar assured me that there was nothing wrong medically, that my body was going through changes and internal transformation, I began to accept it. I would wake up in the middle of the night to stay awake for some time before dosing off again. Agathiyar asked to accept the changes that brought on this discomfort and pain, as it was bliss. Indeed, it was countered by the flowering in the crown that still goes on. Since we seek pleasures, we must also be prepared to face pain. Though we know medicine is hard to swallow, we still take it, knowing it will do good in healing us. So too is pain and suffering. It is only when we fight and go against it that it begins to turn horrible and painful. 

A friend and reader shared her experiences, too. 

The last 3-4 days had severe pain in the whole head...precisely in the crown chakra down the back of the head in line with both eyes and the 3rd eye.  The left eye and left side of the face. Pain also down the back of the head into the neck and left shoulder.  Activity at the top of the head felt like surgery. Much better today. Probably was the work of the Full Moon.

She updated me later on her state.

I have been feeling better than the previous week aiya...symptoms have been much better, but still a lot of activity at the top of the head and strong energy pulses running mostly bottom feet upwards. That's been for a while, but the intensity feels stronger. Also, strong 3rd eye activity. I am paying attention to the symptoms now, although they are under control, I feel when I  pray or concentrate on some issues, etc, the symptoms can become alive or activated...Also having many sleep disturbances, very erratic. Waking at odd times...takes about 1-2 hours to fall asleep again. Also, night sweats, although our nights are getting pretty cold with winter approaching.

I told her that no two spiritual experiences might be the same. Just as we are unique in many ways, our travels will also vary. One cannot compare and expect the same to take place.

TRAPPINGS IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD

Why are we here? Are we here to live out our desires, or are we here to correct our past mistakes, or are we here for a specific purpose, or to do God's work? Why are others here? Why do we meet only some? In sailing the sea of life, we disembark at jetties and ports along the way. The secret here is to move on after seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, feeling, and experiencing the sights and sounds. But sadly, we tend to create bonds and cement them further, hence finding it even more difficult to escape later in life. 

Contrary to common belief, that realization is a process, it only takes a split second to become realized. It can happen anywhere and anytime. Realization just happens. But Maya brings on an illusion of time and space, trapping us, even the self-proclaimed gurus, in many ways.

Just before we all went to bed a couple of days ago, my grandchildren and I put on an act. When I asked them, "Who will be God? " my second granddaughter, age 5, immediately said she will. I told my first granddaughter to ask for something from God. She spontaneously asked that she should study well. It makes sense as she was 8 and in standard 2. "God" granted her wish, saying, "So be it". Turning to me, I replied that I want to be happy always. She granted my wish, too. Now turning to her younger brother, age 4, he replied that he wanted juice. We all laughed out loud as we figured that he was thirsty and had asked to fulfill his immediate need, which was to quench his thirst. Finally, just before "God" left, she turned to us and told us to call for "Him" if we had any problems. This comes to show that children truly live in the present moment never having an inkling or worry about the future. It is us adults stuff into them fear, worry and apprehension.

Speaking to a friend and reader last night on WhatsApp, we agreed that one who was saved by God cannot possibly keep quiet or keep under wraps his or her encounter with God. Christy Beam wrote in her memoir, "Miracles from Heaven", "Standing in the light of all he's given us, in the light of all that's happened, I can't not tell you our story". Neale Donald Walsch writes about his conversation with God that "I could have kept this latest dialogue private, but everything within me shouted, don't you dare." He felt that he should share, keeping a promise to God. When God works through man, man then has access to all the wisdom, information, tools, and methods. 

But though the limelight is on us after that, and some can cope with the changes that come along with this exposure and great responsibility, it can be bothersome to others. Watching a video of a husband and wife team where the Chinese gods come through the former, both regret having accommodated their desire to be of help to others. What started as a magical journey turned sour when the relationship with a former temple in which the husband went into a trance and the Gods came within, turned equally sour. The wife then wished for money to start their own temple. The Gods granted it. She won the Jackpot and built the temple as promised. But they had had to pay a price. Now, seeing their children grow up, they found no time for them as she was involved in the running of the temple and her husband was a vehicle for the Gods. He asked what he was to say if his children were asked what their father's profession was. Were they to state that he was a healer, medicineman, shaman, bomoh, or medium? The wife, too, sheds tears, coming to terms with the fact that they had fallen for the trap. Many who are known to summon or channel the Hindu deities to provide solutions to others' problems and fulfill individual desires are trapped too. 

Many others, too, like the heads of missions, are caught and trapped alike in the very establishment that they desired in the very first place. One such head, who told me that I had escaped from falling into the trap, told me that she was finding it difficult to run the establishment that her guru left behind. It had become a burden for her. She had to source money for its upkeep.  Another head speaking on social media justifies that the huge sums collected from classes held to teach techniques went towards paying the wages of administrators and the running of the establishment and its numerous events. Tavayogi, who was asked by Agathiyar to set up an Ashram, towards his end, told a devotee who was visiting him that if his health permitted, he would like to leave everything behind and go on a long walk. He soon passed away.

Agathiyar never trapped us as these deities do. I am glad that Agathiyar, in coming through me in the initial years, listened to our objection and pulled the brake on counselling and healing strangers, although it was only temporary. He pretty soon had me realize the need for him to see them and solve their problems. He asked me, where would I go and to whom I would turn, if he were to shut his ears! He wanted my wife and me to listen to others' problems, for we were merely channels he said. He assured that in no way would these visitations by him and the strangers he sent over to my home harm me and my family, nor disrupt our lives. These too eventually stopped, as he stopped bringing strangers over. I am glad that Agathiyar stopped seeing strangers and healing them. These days, he does come only to heal his devotees and their families. 

I'm glad that Agathiyar, after having me open the doors to my homes to the public to carry out Puja, soon shut it down. I'm glad that after roping and bringing in several youths, and having us start on doing charity, had us stopped it before the problems of others could get hold of us and entrap us. As initially, we just dropped off cooked food and groceries but as we frequented their homes, servicing them regularly, they began to open up on other issues. I'm glad we were not caught up in trying to solve their personal issues. Agathiyar removed us from there. 

I am glad I turned down the request to build a temple that came in my very first Nadi reading in 2002, and resurfaced again in 2018. I am glad that I turned down his offer to hand me a Nadi for my personal use and that of others. If I had accepted, I would have berthed at this port and never moved on. 

After showing the carrot before me, seeing if I will take a bite first, Agathiyar then tells me it was all his test then finally he says its all Maya something that Tavayogi had expound the very first day he stepped into my home in 2005.

I am glad that Agathiyar retracted his wish to see me become a guru the very next moment I chose to accept it as a way of showing my gratitude to him and since I had turned down all his previous offers.

As Neale says, "As we are one with God, we do have the ability to create alternate endings to any story", mankind working in unison with the divine forces can bring forth a favorable outcome. 

We read the following quote by John Dewey in the movie "Rough Book": "If we teach today's students as we taught yesterday's, we rob them of tomorrow." Now it is time we stepped out of the past and found our way into the new future. 

SEEING THROUGH THE VEIL

Why are only a few who seem to have reached out to God and not the rest? It is not that they are not trying. It is just that for them, it seems a battle just to get close to God. Some might point it out as one's Karma, or not trying enough, or doubting one's own faith and belief. But what could be the possible answer? 

WM. Paul Young tries to propose an answer to this question in his book "Lies We Believe About God", Atria Paperback, 2017.

Only if we posit that we have existence apart from Jesus can we believe that hell is a form of punishment that comes to us in our separation from Jesus. I propose the possibility that hell is not separation from Jesus, but that it is the pain of resisting our salvation in Jesus while not being able to escape him, who is true love.

Our approach to God is usually to seek his approval for something that we have already desired. Then, when things go wrong, we blame him for leading us astray, not stopping the move, not fulfilling it, etc. Agathiyar tells us that all experiences and lessons gained from it lead us to our goal. So what was your goal then back then?

In the Sahas Chopra show, a 98-year-old war veteran and soldier turned anesthesiologist, Dr. James M. Neilson, recounts his transformation in India. James, who wanted to become a soldier and was trained to kill and injure, was invited by a doctor to watch a surgery. Being a soldier who was trained to kill and injure others, he sees the doctor save a life by removing a bullet lodged in the head of another soldier. That was when he realized life is about choices. James became a doctor himself, eventually saving other lives. He moved his goalpost. Are we willing to move the goalpost?

The world is constantly changing. Species and plants are continually adapting to changes. For instance, I learned that a breed of cave-dwelling freshwater fish, the blind cavefish (Astyanax mexicanus), has no eyes, for what use is it in the underground caves that are pitch dark? The world is never the same, so why do we hang on to all our assets, owning, and perishable properties? Why are we not prepared to drop our hold on our learning, opinions, and thoughts? Why do we tend to resist change? At times, change has to be forced on us, for our own good, as in the ritual of cremating a widow alive in the past that was stopped by the British. I never could comprehend this hideous act on womenfolk. It does not make sense. Where is the logic? On one hand, a widow joins her husband on his burning funeral pyre, or is forced to, in the ritual Sati; and on the other hand, a man who is a widower gets to live and is betrothed to another woman. It makes sense now why Bharathi, Ramalinga Adigal, and the Siddhas opposed many traditions and practices. They were considered rebels by the society of their times. Shouldn't we adapt to the present just as nature does? Shouldn't we learn to go with the flow, go with the tide, move with the breeze, unattached but enjoying the wonders and rewards that life brings, and most importantly, accepting the changes that come our way? 

What is real in this world of Maya? Only the breath. But we seldom are truly aware of the breadth, for our senses are forever in the external and what it has to offer. Only in going within, in bringing our attention and focusing on it, do we touch the breath, do we experience the breath that is indeed true wealth and health. In asking one to close their eyes and sit, there won't be any physical activity or movement. The mental activity, too, would eventually die down. This is the first step to meditation. 

Just as one must know the dark to come to light, one must know activity to come to silence. We are asked to surrender in totality, so that we shall not deviate or leave, or jump off the bandwagon while traveling the path. Traveling the path, we are put to the test by having to carry out tasks, activities, and the dictates of the Siddhas. Later, we are asked to let go of whatever we have in our hands. Hence, the reason Agathiyar and Tavayogi brought me out of Sariyai, had me engage in Kriyai and Yogam, and eventually lose myself in silence, whence Gnanam dawns from within. Ramalinga Adigal said that in letting go, all shall come to us without asking or seeking. As Agathiyar and Lord Siva are themselves the Prapanjam, they ask us to connect with her for all our needs. We have moved into the phase of Gnanam now, where thoughts and wants are beginning to materialize within days. Now I have to be extra careful what I wish for and remember not to curse another. Now I am beginning to understand all that was told to us by Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Lord Murugan, and Lord Siva in the past. 

The "I", "mine", and "me" stuff has very much sunk in us to the extent we have come to believe that we are separate from other creations. Dennis Waite, in his book "The Book of One - The Spiritual Path of Advaita", O Books UK, 2003, writes, 

In order to communicate meaningfully with others, we have to use the word "I," but most of us do not think that we use it merely as a convenience. We believe that it refers to something unique about us as an individual, something concrete that could be pointed to or picked up, except that if asked exactly where or what this thing is, we begin to find it difficult to define. 

Look around you, and you shall see many gurus fall from disgrace. We only see arrogance in them. Those who spoke about Karma too are not spared the ordeals. They tend to eat their own words. The followers, too, tend to ditch their gurus if they fall below their expectations. These seekers who come with high expectations seem to have a prior idea or notion etched in their minds and sought a guru who can comply with their needs and intentions. A true guru would break us and not please us. Tavayogi broke me numerous times. Later, Agathiyar did the same. They peeled the layers of opinions that I had carried, just like a snake sheds its skin, to reveal the truth that lay within me. They exposed me to my true self instead of making me another clone of them. I am who I am today thanks to them. 

Drop the "I", what then exists? Just existence. No identity nor identification with form or name. This journey is all about arriving where we started.

To those in pain and suffering, bring yourself to live in the present. Living in the present helps clear the pain and suffering of yesteryear, clears past guilt, and helps focus on the work at hand. We then begin to cherish and appreciate life. We see life as it is and not as we want it to be. 

THANK YOU DEAR GOD & GURU

In coming to us a couple of days back, Agathiyar told my wife and me that we were already "there". It wasn't the end of any physical or mystical journey or trail. Neither a transition into another land or planet, realm or dimension, but having arrived at a clear understanding of Lord Shiva's game or Leela or Lila in all of creation, sustainance and eradication. Looking back on the journey, I cannot help but question how it all happened. I never went on a search. I never did arduous austerities, Tavam or Tapas. Neither did I do strenuous practices and exercises. But the path magically lay before me, inviting me to it through a call from within to read Agathiyar's Nadi in 2002. I magically stepped before my very first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, on the pretext of charting my daughter's horoscope upon a request from my wife as I boarded the cab to the airport for my maiden journey to India in 2003, to settle my past scores that had come to haunt me as my Karma. Swami passed me his entire life's savings, not monetary or assets, but worth beyond that. He gave me the merits of his 40 years of Tapas and Tavam that paved the way for me to attain all that Agathiyar had in store for me without any difficulty. I magically stepped before Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram when he visited Malaysia in 2005. He taught me to be humble; pointed me to carrying out charity, which brought on compassion within me to other beings, animals, and plants, in an otherwise dry and arid heart. Tavayogi showed me rituals that helped bridge both worlds, that of man and Siddhas, and paved the way for their arrival, and with their arrival, the entire pantheon of Gods and Goddesses into my humble family home that came to be known as Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). Finally, Tavayogi, like Supramania Swami, left me a treasure chest of several selected Asanas and Pranayama in 2007 that shaped me into what I am today. These exercises awakened the dormant primordial creative energy Sakti, which, after orchestrating the sequence of my birth, from an embryo to fetus to a child, and though she lay dormant in the Muladhara, looked after the shaping of the body and its faculties well through my journey as a kid, a teen, an adult and till I reached my 66th year of physical existence as of today. My efforts as Tavayogi said were only until the energy reached Svadishthana. Agathiyar in 2024 came to tap and break the bund and free the energy that had stagnated. The Sakti rapidly cleared the way of obstacles, knots, and toxins, magically making her way, traveling its course to higher Chakras and finally reaching the ocean of bliss at the Sahasrara. Once there, she reached out to her home and place of birth in the higher regions of the cosmos, to be one with her beloved Shiva, dancing in ecstasy and bringing down the ambrosia in its most refined and pure form as renewed energy and together with it news from the higher domains, often allowing me to download its contents as and when required. It has been a journey of sheer amazement. I still ask myself if I deserve it.