Since day one of my coming to know them through the Nadi reading, the Siddhas have surprised me in numerous ways, and often have given me a trashing. To add salt to the wound, they had Tavayogi come along, take me under his shadow, and trash me further. They left me in the open, under the skies, stark naked and alone now, with the Prapanjam caring for me. The mountain is back to being a mountain.
As a bachelor, to counter my boredom when I started my career in my twenties in a small town, I frequented the temples in the locality besides engaging in Puja to the deities in the Hindu pantheon, taking up from whatever my parents did, and learning from books, in my rented home. This was when a colleague passed me a small book written by a relative of his, which I cannot recall its name now, that revealed an alternative explanation to some of the beliefs, customs, and rituals we have been carrying out. The thought that these could have been either altered or manipulated, or had changed over time, did arise, too. It was an interesting read, though. Soon, I took to reading more about our culture and Agamas or rituals to know the reasons behind why it was done and why we have followed them blindly without question. I would debate with others, including my seniors at work. These prompted me to include spiritual books in my list. But as it was a small town, books were difficult to come by back then in the 80s. I had no access to either a personal computer or the internet then. What was disclosed in the pages of these books was a rosy and beautiful picture of God, who was said to be loving and compassionate, that did not tally with the sufferings that relatives and friends went through. On the brink of going cuckoo, Lord Siva came to save me through a dream in which he asked that I keep all my questions to a later date. I did as told and dropped it all, including reading, visiting the temples, and my daily home Puja too. I focused on my career and family. Thirteen years went by before I knew it. It was 2001, and time for me to know it all. I received a mantra initiation that came through mysteriously from the lineage of a guru cum temple priest whose teachings my nephew was following as an undergraduate at the campus within a stones throw. It was the Vasudeva mantra. My nephew, who told me not to question its source, only told me as much as that it was given to me to prepare me to meet my guru. Though it was puzzling, I did as asked and recited the Mantra. Wanting to know more about the Mantra, I went through my collection of books. I came across R Venu Gopalan's "The Hidden Mysteries of Kundalini", where he had written that this Mantra is recited for balancing the Vishnu Granthi.
"The Vishnu Granti adds obstructions for the Sadhaka, keeping one under the wraps of attachment and bondage, leading to the process of selfishness and supra ego.""Continuous practice of meditation on this mantra helps purify the thinking process. It also helps in dissolving all the past karmic deeds for a better future.""The nadis of the heart chakra is cleansed. It balances the heart chakra."
It was only later that he revealed that it was from Agathiyar. The message came through his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai, coming through a devotee during one of their regular meetings in his guru's temple. There was no looking back now. One thing led to another. All the doors opened just as the Mantra was supposed to clear all the blocks within.
A year later, in 2002, I had a calling to read the Nadi, something that was told to me by my friend, an astrologer and Siddha physician back then in the 90s but as I did not know any Nadi reader back then I left it at that, taking only as much as the dear doctor told me about the Siddhas and their ability to see into our past and reveal our past Karma and curses. Just as he had said, Agathiyar confirmed that the reason I did not make much progress in my Puja and Yoga practices was that I had past Karma and curses standing between me and the fruits of my efforts. Agathiyar came as my saviour and true enough my guru. But as certain things had to come to me through physical means, he sent me to a guru in the physical form of Supramania Swami first, in 2003, and later had me meet another guru, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram, in 2005, to initiate me on Agathiyar's Mantra, officially taking me into their folds, and initiate me to carry out rituals like the Homam, and Yogam in 2007. Agathiyar came into my home as a bronze statue in 2010. He sent several youths over to my home in 2013 to watch and learn the rituals. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) came to be. He engaged us in carrying out Puja both at home and at the temples, and had us carry out charity. Agathiyar, who saw how the impending pandemic would take hold of us and bring a halt to our daily routine, had me dissolve the group and had each one go their way in the wake of the pandemic. As for me, he had me keep to myself, giving me further practices and herbal preparations to cleanse and strengthen the body in the wake of further energy upheavals within. I collapsed thrice and wriggled like a snake on the floor, twitching in pain that was blissful too. The Yoga practices that I took up from Tavayogi, revealed Agathiyar, had awakened the Muladhara chakra and the energies residing within in 2007. Subsequently, it ponded and stagnated at Svadishtana, causing me to bear untold miseries and pain for some 2 1/2 years beginning in 2010. These "attacks" came again in 2016 and 2018. Finally, Lord Muruga came simultaneously through the Nadi reading and a devotee to end it all. Agathiyar came to break the bund and release the pent-up energy in 2022, that swirled and made its way swiftly within days to the Sahasrara, where it swirled and settled, flowering, not before giving me a taste of death. If, as a kid, he had given me a taste of leaving the body and hovering above it, close to the ceiling in my family home, watching myself, my parents, and siblings sleep before plunging with great speed back into my body, at the age of 63 he had me witness and narrate to my wife, how my torso and body from the neck below become a log ready to be burned in the funeral pyre. Asking him what I should do further, he tells me nothing and to just watch. She, the energy, will do her work, he said. In asking me to share all these experiences with my readers, Agathiyar tells me it should inform them of what to expect on this journey.
Then Lord Murugan comes to caution me and make me aware of the game or Lila that Lord Shiva had cooked up and had Agathiyar and Indran put into place. This was a lesson in seeing through the veil of illusion, Maya. Rereading Dr. C. Srinivasan's "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami," Ramalinga Adigal jolts us from our seats further from our self-proclaimed position of spiritual authority, and unseats our belief that we are now a saviour for mankind, wiping clean the thought that we have fathomed the secrets. Ramalinga Adigal, in describing the journey, points out the palaces, thrones, snares, and traps clearly.
- Living a Mundane Life/ Normal Wakefulness/ Jeeva Sakiram,
- Taking the First Step towards Realization/ Perfect Wakefulness/ Sutha Sakiram/ Sariyai/ Path of the Servant/ TaataMaargam/ Saloka,
- The Search Begins to Satisfy the Yearning/ Perfect Dream/ Sutha Sorpanam/ Kriyai/ The Good Son/ Sarputra Maargam/ Saameepam,
- Madly in Love with God/ Perfect Ignorance/ Sutha Suluthi/ Yogam/ Companion/ Saga Maargam/ Saarupam,
- Attaining Union/ Perfect Experience/ Sudha Turiyam/ Saayutchyam,
- Receiving Grace/ Supramental Dream/ Para Sorpanam,
- Higher Ignorance/ Supramental Unknowing/ Para Suluthi/ Sutha Sithantham,
- Divine Life/ Uyir Anubhavam/ Guru Sakiram/ Shiva Sakiram/ Sutha Nathantham,
- The Shower of Supreme Grace/ Arul Anubhavam,
- Supreme Dream/ Guru Sorpanam/ Shiva Sorpanam/ Sutha Kalantham,
- Supreme Tranquility/ Guru Suluthi/ Shiva Suzhuthi/ Sutha Bothantham,
- The Merger/ Body of Grace/ Pranava Deham/ Guru Turiyam/ Shiva Turiyam/ Periya Shiva Anubhavam/ Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga,
- There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express, writes G. Vanmikanathan, namely Sudha Shiva Sakiram or Absolute supreme consciousness, Sudha Shiva Sorpanam, Sudha Shiva Suluthi, Sudha Shiva Turiyam, Sudha Shiva Turiyateetam.
Ramalinga Adigal bluntly puts it that once we were ignorant. Then we became perfectly ignorant. Further to that we become highly ignorant. It is a slap on the face indeed.
The Siddhas, too, have revealed these secrets through their songs. Unfortunately, it is coated and veiled as Paripasai and beyond our understanding. A mere reading would not suffice to know its meaning. We have to travel and experience, and only then can we see assurances, revelations, and similarities. But just when we think we have the answer, the Siddhas lift us to the next level, where all that was known earlier does not hold water. It goes on and on. It has been going on for eons and will go on.
What we actually know is a little. There is much to fathom. Bhogar was right in answering Agathiyar that he only knew him when all the other Siddhas claimed to know and discover many sciences. The Siddhas indeed come to trash us to the core, removing all of our Ego and pride. It is interesting to note that, starting the journey as an ignorant being, we keep falling into ignorance several times in this journey until we reach the true understanding that we were never separate to begin with. Agathiyar, who has seen through my journey, having me engage in activities for the upliftment of my soul and the souls in society, and had me let go of it all, finally asked that I even let him go. Turning to him, asking how I could let go of my guru and God who had shaped, chiseled, nurtured, taught, cared, and made me into who I am today, he replied as usual with a question, "How else can we become One?"