Why are only a few who seem to have reached out to God and not the rest? It is not that they are not trying. It is just that for them, it seems a battle just to get close to God. Some might point it out as one's Karma, or not trying enough, or doubting one's own faith and belief. But what could be the possible answer?
WM. Paul Young tries to propose an answer to this question in his book "Lies We Believe About God", Atria Paperback, 2017.
Only if we posit that we have existence apart from Jesus can we believe that hell is a form of punishment that comes to us in our separation from Jesus. I propose the possibility that hell is not separation from Jesus, but that it is the pain of resisting our salvation in Jesus while not being able to escape him, who is true love.
Our approach to God is usually to seek his approval for something that we have already desired. Then, when things go wrong, we blame him for leading us astray, not stopping the move, not fulfilling it, etc. Agathiyar tells us that all experiences and lessons gained from it lead us to our goal. So what was your goal then back then?
In the Sahas Chopra show, a 98-year-old war veteran and soldier turned anesthesiologist, Dr. James M. Neilson, recounts his transformation in India. James, who wanted to become a soldier and was trained to kill and injure, was invited by a doctor to watch a surgery. Being a soldier who was trained to kill and injure others, he sees the doctor save a life by removing a bullet lodged in the head of another soldier. That was when he realized life is about choices. James became a doctor himself, eventually saving other lives. He moved his goalpost. Are we willing to move the goalpost?
The world is constantly changing. Species and plants are continually adapting to changes. For instance, I learned that a breed of cave-dwelling freshwater fish, the blind cavefish (Astyanax mexicanus), has no eyes, for what use is it in the underground caves that are pitch dark? The world is never the same, so why do we hang on to all our assets, owning, and perishable properties? Why are we not prepared to drop our hold on our learning, opinions, and thoughts? Why do we tend to resist change? At times, change has to be forced on us, for our own good, as in the ritual of cremating a widow alive in the past that was stopped by the British. I never could comprehend this hideous act on womenfolk. It does not make sense. Where is the logic? On one hand, a widow joins her husband on his burning funeral pyre, or is forced to, in the ritual Sati; and on the other hand, a man who is a widower gets to live and is betrothed to another woman. It makes sense now why Bharathi, Ramalinga Adigal, and the Siddhas opposed many traditions and practices. They were considered rebels by the society of their times. Shouldn't we adapt to the present just as nature does? Shouldn't we learn to go with the flow, go with the tide, move with the breeze, unattached but enjoying the wonders and rewards that life brings, and most importantly, accepting the changes that come our way?
What is real in this world of Maya? Only the breath. But we seldom are truly aware of the breadth, for our senses are forever in the external and what it has to offer. Only in going within, in bringing our attention and focusing on it, do we touch the breath, do we experience the breath that is indeed true wealth and health. In asking one to close their eyes and sit, there won't be any physical activity or movement. The mental activity, too, would eventually die down. This is the first step to meditation.
Just as one must know the dark to come to light, one must know activity to come to silence. We are asked to surrender in totality, so that we shall not deviate or leave, or jump off the bandwagon while traveling the path. Traveling the path, we are put to the test by having to carry out tasks, activities, and the dictates of the Siddhas. Later, we are asked to let go of whatever we have in our hands. Hence, the reason Agathiyar and Tavayogi brought me out of Sariyai, had me engage in Kriyai and Yogam, and eventually lose myself in silence, whence Gnanam dawns from within. Ramalinga Adigal said that in letting go, all shall come to us without asking or seeking. As Agathiyar and Lord Siva are themselves the Prapanjam, they ask us to connect with her for all our needs. We have moved into the phase of Gnanam now, where thoughts and wants are beginning to materialize within days. Now I have to be extra careful what I wish for and remember not to curse another. Now I am beginning to understand all that was told to us by Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Lord Murugan, and Lord Siva in the past.
The "I", "mine", and "me" stuff has very much sunk in us to the extent we have come to believe that we are separate from other creations. Dennis Waite, in his book "The Book of One - The Spiritual Path of Advaita", O Books UK, 2003, writes,
In order to communicate meaningfully with others, we have to use the word "I," but most of us do not think that we use it merely as a convenience. We believe that it refers to something unique about us as an individual, something concrete that could be pointed to or picked up, except that if asked exactly where or what this thing is, we begin to find it difficult to define.
Look around you, and you shall see many gurus fall from disgrace. We only see arrogance in them. Those who spoke about Karma too are not spared the ordeals. They tend to eat their own words. The followers, too, tend to ditch their gurus if they fall below their expectations. These seekers who come with high expectations seem to have a prior idea or notion etched in their minds and sought a guru who can comply with their needs and intentions. A true guru would break us and not please us. Tavayogi broke me numerous times. Later, Agathiyar did the same. They peeled the layers of opinions that I had carried, just like a snake sheds its skin, to reveal the truth that lay within me. They exposed me to my true self instead of making me another clone of them. I am who I am today thanks to them.
Drop the "I", what then exists? Just existence. No identity nor identification with form or name. This journey is all about arriving where we started.
To those in pain and suffering, bring yourself to live in the present. Living in the present helps clear the pain and suffering of yesteryear, clears past guilt, and helps focus on the work at hand. We then begin to cherish and appreciate life. We see life as it is and not as we want it to be.