LIFE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES

Yesterday I revisited a devotee of Agathiyar of more than 40 years, who had lost a leg from the knee below a year back. A thorn had pricked his bare foot, between his toes, and sadly he did not realize the thorn lodged in his feet. That led to the wound becoming septic and gangrene setting in due to diabetes. His son had met with an accident many years ago. Yesterday I was told his son had met with yet another accident again a couple of months back and although had gone to work he has not fully recovered. The devotee's wife had to be assisted and helped around too as both her legs had swollen up. After a year there was no improvement in her either. It saddened us to see devotees of Agathiyar undergo so much pain.

I had questioned way back then why Agathiyar did not save his devotee's son from danger and prevent the mishap from taking place. 

Then my daughter was hit by a car while riding pillion and broke her leg. She asked me why it was happening to her? After nine months in fiber cast her fractured bones finally healed.

Later Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal was hit by a bus while riding his motor. After several months he recovered completely.

Following this sad incident, we receive another sad news that Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyaar's husband passed away in a freak accident.

Recently my other daughter came down with the dengue fever and recovered completely. She asked me why her? 

As a bachelor I was praying at home day and night, frequenting all the temples and reading a lot on spiritualism. At the same time I had so many questions that cropped up. The incidents in the lifes' of my friends and relatives made me question God himself and I started accusing him of being unfair to his devotees. A relative lost his wife as she crossed the road to board a taxi just immediately after praying at a temple. He lost faith on God that day. The wife of a friend who was the key person at a temple had to endure pain and suffering while she was carrying his child for reasons that were revealed later by emissaries of God. I thought God was inhumane for treating her that way.

Slowly I lost faith in astrology too. That is when I had a dream and in it Lord Shiva told me to keep my questions to a later date. I stopped questioning that day. That was about the same time I was transferred to Kuala Lumpur and the small room I rented with my friend was not conducive to continue with my prayers. I stopped conducting all forms of rituals, and stopped frequenting the temples too. I married shortly after that. Even after my marriage I did not light a lamp nor pray anymore. This carried on for some years until one stormy evening, my nephew comes over and passes me a mantra of Lord Vishnu, reminding me not to question the source, that starts me back on my journey that was stalled for 14 years. He passes me a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthy after a few days telling me that worship of Lord Dhakshanamurthy will bring me to meet my guru soon. Exactly after a year of worship to Lord Dhakshanamurthy I meet my first Guru Supramania Swami of Thiruvannamalai. I am introduced to and made aware of the beautiful Guru-Disciple relationship through Supramania Swami.

After two years of tutorship under Supramania Swami I am brought into the folds of the Siddhas through another Guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar. On the day I met Tavayogi in Malaysia, a devotee questions me, "What is your problem?" I replied I had none. He kept asking me several times in the presence of Tavayogi and refused to accept the fact that I had no problems. The devotee finally told me all those who came to the Siddha Marga had problems and presumed that I too had come with a problem. Later as I frequented the local peedhams where Tavayogi spent his time while in Malaysia, I realized that there was some truth in the words of that devotee, since all those who came to meet Tavayogi had a personal problem and wanted a quick remedy for it. No one came for the sake of Gnanam or came to offer aid to Tavayogi to run his mission.

I saw this take place when I was with Supramania Swami too. Being an astrologer too, Swami prepared amulets and talisman and helped heal those who came to him. But non asked what the Swami wanted or cared about his needs.

Slowly Agathiyar reveals in the Nadi and Tavayogi through his rare statements that only the needy, those suffering, those under duress and in misery and pain will come for aid or advise. When devotees started coming over to Agathiyar Vanam, they stayed back to talk about their problems. My wife and I were good listeners. Eventually we started to give advise that brought many inconveniences for us. When I refered to Tavayogi, he asked me why I had to involve myself? He told me to point them to Agathiyar and let them cry their heart out to Agathiyar. That was a lesson for us not to become too enthusiastic. Agathiyar upon arrival at Agathiyar Vanam in Malaysia, has asked devotees to light a agal or lamp and make a wish. He promises to fulfill them to his level best.

Agathiyar is here to help those in need through his Nadi revelations too. Many have received solutions to their problems through these Nadi readings.

I am surprised to see the amount of devotion the devotee who lost his leg and his sickly wife still have on Agathiyar even after enduring so much pain for so many years. He tells me he has much karma that needs to be burnt by undergoing all these misery and sufferings. Yet they still love Agathiyar and worship him till this day. They are a truly devoted couple.

My daughter lived through the trying times by moving with the aid of crutches and not being able to do what a twenty year old does, holding on to the kind and compassionate words of Agathiyar that he shall take care of her and all shall be well. 

My other daughter sailed through her bout of dengue fever with confidence on Agathiyar and the Siddhas that they would not let her down. True to over faith Agathiyar came with Thirumular to raise her platelet as reveled in the Nadi later.

I could accept if we underwent these sufferings because of our karma baggage but I could not come to terms when Tavayogi was bedridden and Mataji lost her husband in a tragic way. When I questioned Tavayogi later he tells me they too had much karma to be exhausted. 

Reading the biographies of the saints, I realize the saints too went through much sufferings. Life is not a bed of roses indeed. As Diana Towers posted the following lines on her blog, "A story about life and how it can seem so daunting at times: Life is not a bed of roses, all the time, but the right approach to life can help you create a full and vibrant existence."

Let us have faith on God and move on with life.