When Tavayogi stepped on our shores in 2005, he told us that we need to come out of Bakthi. But I told him that we are so immersed in temple worship that it would be rather difficult to come out of it. A religious leader in Malaysia once said that we need temples for it has become our identity. Remove the temples, the language, the culture, the tradition, and customs then we lose our identities too. We are very much steeped in all five.
Today after walking the path, engaging in Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam we are ready to leave them behind us as Ramalinga Adigal sings "சாதி சமய சலக்கை விட்டேன் அருள் ஜோதியை கண்டேனடி."
Although devotion or bhakti has always been kept under wraps within all of us, it needs the touch of the divine in the form of a guru to trigger it, as Manickavasagar sings, "அவன் அருளாலே அவன் தாள் வணங்கி."
Although we need the labels and forms for a start, what happens is that we become conditioned by them, we stagnate and remain holding onto it and keep doing it for ages. One should learn to pass it on to the younger generation and move on with his journey, which begins to turn inward. This is where the guru comes to break the shackle or release our hold on it. He comes as a spark to ignite and nurture the internal flame henceforth. Tavayogi did just that. He shared and passed on to me his experiences, his practices, and his understanding. Supramania Swami went one step ahead and gifted me his merits attained through 40 years of his tavam.
The day I saw Tavayogi, I mentioned to him that Agathiyar had asked me to come to his path. For one who had relied on the temples, spiritual books and the daily ritual of home puja and an occasional sprinkle of a divine story by the elders, the mention of the word Siddha and their Nadi was new to me, only having known about them when I read the Nadi for the very first time in 2002. Tavayogi told me that I had come to the right place, his local affiliate in Batu Caves and that I shall learn from those who ran the Peedham. He showed me photos of his ashram and the activities conducted. He asked that I bring the family in the evening to listen to his talk at the venue. That evening my wife and I received Diksha together with others. I frequented the place to catch a glimpse of Tavayogi and hear him talk and spend some time in his presence. Hence a bond was slowly cemented between a seeker and an aspirant. Seeing others invite him to their homes, I too extended an invitation not knowing if he would accept it, as I had never had a saint, yogi, spiritual or religious figure step into my home before. I was overjoyed when he accepted. I was floating on cloud nine as he stepped into my home on the appointed day. He conducted a short prayer at the request of my wife. The family and friends gathered ate together with him and listen to a small pep talk from him. As I sent him off with a barrage of words of appreciation he killed my joy instantaneously. He told me that I was living in illusion or Maya and that he was not a saintly person as was made to be. Instead, he told me to follow Agathiyar the divine flame within all of us. I did not understand his words then and as I took it literally, felt sad and hurt. Today I appreciate him for these harsh words that broke my hold on labels and forms. I have never worshipped nor performed rituals to a painting or a photograph of both my gurus after they went into samadhi. The only worship is towards Agathiyar. Agathiyar who asked me to commission his statue giving very specific details and have me perform libation or ahisegam for him all these years came through the Nadi and stated that we were on the right track. He told us just the thought of the guru on Guru Naal or Thursdays would suffice. When it was Vinayagar Chaturthi we decorated Agathiyar's statue and sang the praises of Lord Vinayagar. If it was Sivarathri we performed libation at 6pm, 9pm, 12 midnight, 3am, and again at 6am the next day, dressing him up as Lord Shiva and singing his praises. When it was Navarathri, we saw Agathiyar as Goddess Durga, Laxmi, and Saraswathi, dressing him up like them. Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told us that what we did was the truth and that he would come in the form we wished to see him in, breaking our hold on labels and forms again.
When Tavayogi told me that Agathiyar had come to him the night I arrived at his Kallar Ashram in 2005 for the very first time, I just listened literally in disbelief. Later when he told me Agathiyar came to him while he was spending some quiet moments in the hills behind the Kallar Ashram, I asked him how he came. He replied as light. I came to know that there was another form that Agathiyar took too. After the years of devotion to him and performing the rituals of homa or lighting the sacred fire and abhisegam or libation, a bridge was cemented where the divine began to visit us during these occasions. As Supramania Swami said that he would come into our homes through the light we lit in our homes, soon they created a portal, through the flame, through which they traveled. Agathiyar told me to replace the metal lamps with earthen at home. During the lighting of rows of lamps at our annual event the "108/1008 Nei Deepam Yetrum Vizha" in the temples, Bala Chandran was moved to light an Aganda Deepam or a wide flame too, which Agathiyar approved and directed us to do in subsequent events. As each time Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came, they asked us to kindle the flames in our homes to burn brighter I started lighting an Aganda Deepam in my home then. I guess that was to literally bring the whole pantheon of Gods and Goddesses and Siddhas, Rishis and Munis, and all the saints whom we usher as we recite their names during the Siddha puja.
What was done externally turned inwards and went within. Ramalinga Adigal brought Arutperunjothi into us and asked us to do the same. He speaks about the veil being drawn and the sight of the heavenly jothi seen within. We understand now this is what is shown externally at our temples where the screen is drawn aside and we are shown the Arathi or flame. The divine is literally trying to make us shine like a beacon, a source of light or inspiration, and to illuminate, never wanting us to remain mere devotees forever. Their wish is to see us transform into light bodies just as we were before, before we took that major leap to this earth, chasing our dreams.
As we stand on the eve of the festival of Light Diwali or Deepavali, let us light a lamp both in our homes and within us, and in others just as a candle is used to light another. Never be the sole and only candle that lights up the place for it shall melt or die a natural death. A candle should light up others before it dies off. Let us nurture the divine flame in us, that takes on the form of love and compassion till it burns with such intensity that it engulfs us and we shine as a star does. A star is thus born. A saint is thus made.
Here's wishing all readers a joyous day of Diwali or Deepavali and many more to come.