The guru's messages only make sense now after some 20 years on; 18 years on, and 16 years on. It has been 20 years since Agathiyar came to proclaim me through some divine messengers and through the Nadi the following year. It has been some 18 years since I met my first guru in physical form, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. It has been some 16 years since I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. In the first Nadi reading, Agathiyar mentioned many things that have come to fruition. Supramania Swami's prediction too has come true. And of course, I suppose we have fulfilled Tavayogi's expectation of us hearing him acknowledge our efforts. Today we understand the many subtle messages that were passed on to us, not during public talks, Satsangs, or question and answer sessions but as they walked by casually, as we took a walk with them, or when they spoke alone with us.
Bhagawan Ramana too is said to have given a reminder to Sadhu Om with a passing remark. Sadhu Om who had Bhagawan's darshan a couple of weeks earlier went back to Ramanasramam to be with him, was invited into the dining hall to have breakfast. Bhagavan was having his breakfast then. Sadhu Om took his seat in front of Bhagavan. When Bhagavan finished eating, he got up from his seat. Seeing this, Sadhu Om also got up as a mark of respect. Bhagavan looked at him and said, "வந்த வேலையை பார்" or "Vandha Velaiyaip Paar" (Look after the business for which you have come). Sadhu Om then sat down. Bhagavan, after washing his hands, seeing that Sadhu Om had paused eating, repeated the words, "வந்த வேலையை பார்" or "Vandha Velaiyaip Paar". Hearing these words, Sadhu Om started eating again. As Bhagavan prepared to exit the dining hall Bhagavan looked back at Sadhu Om and caught him watching him. Bhagawan uttered the words again, "வந்த வேலையை பார்" or "Vandha Velaiyaip Paar", for the third time in succession.
I can never forget the upadesa I got from my 3-year-old granddaughter. I used to tease her telling her that "I have seen this earlier", "I have seen this earlier" as she seats herself on the settee, following intently her favorite kid's CGI cartoon series "Masha and the Bear", watching the episodes over and over again. She would turn to me and point her finger to a corner telling me, "I am the one watching (that she doesn't mind seeing repeats), you go to your corner." I would then go stand in a corner. She would say "Not there" and direct me to my desk where I work on my blog. One day as she stood in front of the television, I came by and told her the same thing as all grandfathers do since we are given the same script. She was so stressed up that she turned to look up at me and said, "நீ உன் வாழ்க்கையை பார்; நான் என் வாழ்க்கையை பார்க்கிறேன்" meaning "You take care of your life and I shall take care of mine. I was taken aback by her power of vocabulary and choice of words that came out from a 3-year-old, especially the timely usage of the word "Life" or வாழ்க்கை. I realized then that Agathiyar was telling me through her to do what I came for, just as Bhagawan told Sadhu Om "வந்த வேலையை பார்" or "Vandha Velaiyaip Paar."
When I arrived at Kallar Ashram for the first time in 2005, Suresh and Vimalan from Tiruvannamalai and an old man were there, having stayed back after the monthly Pournami or Full Moon Puja. Suresh brought out a Rudraksha seed and asked if he could wear it. Tavayogi took it in his hands and see no flaws in it, gave him the green light to wear, together with a few words of caution as to the manner of wearing it and the places to avoid bringing it to. I remained a spectator as this was all new to me. When Suresh left us Tavayogi turned to me and said, "நமக்கு இது தேவை இல்லை மகனே" or "We don't need this, son." Then I being a show-off, and wanting to impress him, showed him the gem-studded ring I was wearing. I told him Supramania Swami had asked me to wear it mentioning it shall do good. I then told him I was wearing a Rasamani or solidified purified mercury on me too, gifted by the late Dr. Krishnan, an astrologer, and Siddha practitioner. It did not make any difference to him. Tavayogi answered the same, "நமக்கு இது தேவை இல்லை மகனே" or "We don't need this."
Coincidently the gem-studded ring went missing for several moments after we returned from our bath in the river that flowed near his ashram. Tavayogi had me place my travel documents and cash together with this ring in his steel cupboard under lock and key before we went for the dip in the river. He kept the key. Tavayogi searched with me and finally located the ring in the hollow section of the metal cupboard frame. I was relieved to have found it as I had cherished it for two reasons. One that I was told to wear it by Supramania Swami that came as a consolation to an earlier episode in my student life that Supramania Swami could not possibly know. Or does he know everything? When I sat in front of him the first time I met him he had revealed everything about me, even those messages that Agathiyar gave me in my Nadi in private. So it would not surprise me if he intended to appease my desire and yearning to wear a nine-gem studded gold ring on my finger. Rather than a yearning, I should say it was a challenge taken. I had challenged the proprietor of a gem shop that I shall wear one in my life when after seeing me, then a college kid lingering in his shop, he chased me out telling me that I could not afford them. Of course, as I had paid a big sum to have the precious stones set in the gold ring, I was saddened when I thought I had lost it.
When I returned to Supramania Swami''s place again after leaving Kallar Ashram, surprisingly for a man who had scanned and read through me without the need to chart my horoscope on our first meeting, Swami wanted to chart my horoscope. I sat with him under the thatched roof of a shed outside his village home at Nachaananthal some 8 km away from Tiruvannamalai town on that hot afternoon while his family was preparing a feast for me. Only then did I notice the yellow sapphire had come loose. I removed the ring from my finger and kept it away save. Tavayogi's word did come true. I did not need them anymore.
I removed the Rasamani too and kept it away safe. Sometime back last year as my body started to build up heat, I started to wear it on after reading Srinatha Raghavan's notes on fb.
While doing long periods of Sadhana, the Body, Mind and Breath undergo tremendous and unexpected changes. The breathing becomes deeper, slower, longer and steady, while the body starts to produce intense heat (Taapagni), due to prolonged concentration and refinement of the Mind locked in the Agnya Chakra.
Many years ago, when I underwent a similar situation, the heat and pain became unbearable, where the body would become locked for hours together and despite wanting to move, it wouldn't. It would be like the joints were locked internally by some unseen force (Actually it's the Prana) and it would unlock on it's own.
Finding no real solution after having tried a zillion ones, I continued to the best of my physical ability, pushing the body and mind to its limit, till it couldn't take no more. The body would break down with shooting pain in every inch of it, while the heat generated would make it difficult to even pass stools, with small boils covering all over the body, it was a painful time indeed. This is why it is important to have the guidance of the Guru, so his/her timely wisdom and spiritual common sense can redeem you from your plight.
Just as providence would have it I was fortunate to meet a Siddha from the South during a spiritual sojourn, who was fondly called Appa Siddhar or Rasamani Siddhar. He gauged my plight and gave me a "Rasamani" or "Solidified Purified Mercury" which is still an impossible feat for modern Science to achieve. Mercury by nature is highly poisonous and ingesting it can cause blood poisoning or even death, however the Siddhas of yore found a way to purify it through various "Bandhanas" cleaning and purifying it repeatedly with various herbal juices and salts, till it became a potent tool used for spiritual ascension.
As He gave the "Rasamani" with the instructions on how to use it, the changes in the body was instant and miraculous. A steady Mind and a steadier body is a great blessing for the long and arduous Spiritual Journey within. When I used it as instructed, the heat generated would be strangely transmitted in to the Mercury Ball or Gutika and the body would become cool, tireless and strong, even if it was not fed with anything for hours together.
Trust me when I say this, the Spiritual Path is not a bed of Roses, for a time will come when Heaven will become Hell and there will be no one to understand your plight, let alone help you come out of it. Only the grace of the Guru, has the power to see you through, that's the truth.
The Rasamai was with me for a long time, but in one of my trips, I happened to meet another Spiritual Seeker who was undergoing similar upheavals, so I gladly gave it to him, so it could do its job to help yet another one achieve or overcome what would be otherwise impossible indeed.
Note: Please be advised that the Rasamani or Parad, you get in the market today is not at all the real one. It is either lead coated with German Silver or an alloy of Aluminum and other metals, which is highly poisonous and can cause rashes and other severe conditions. Real Rasamani is very rare and the ones who know how to make it, are even more rarer, because of it's precise, time consuming and difficult to achieve perfection, making the asking price as high as the sky.
When the late Dr. Krishnan had it made for me and my colleague mine was delayed while he received his earlier. The reason the Dr gave was as Sri says "it did not achieve perfection."
When Agathiyar in the Nadi reading told me to stick with the local chapter of Tavayogi's Peedham in Batu Caves just as Tavayogi had told me too, later when I accepted and took heed of Agathiyar's message in the Aasi Nadi reading and headed straight to Tavayogi to be re-initiated as directed, the entire Nadi reading was erased and replaced with a new reading. I was now directed straight to Kallar ashram. I was to become Tavayogi's student.
While all those who seek the Nadi are generally expected to carry out remedies for their past karma or deeds, when the guru comes along and offers to take us in under his wings, under his tutorship and patronage, many divine rules are changed, dropped, or replaced with the intervention and prayers of the guru including these remedies too and the need for them. This happens only when one takes hold of the guru for life.
When Tavayogi told me the true meaning of the aphorism "பாத்திரம் அறிந்து பிச்சையிடு that literally means "Give according to the vessel", that although this seems to pertain to the person begging for food with an eating vessel in his hands, Tavayogi sees it as the gifting of the divine and spiritual knowledge. He says that it is only supposed to be shared with those who were ready for the transmission and would understand its true meaning and value the teachings. "Do not waste our breath on others not keen to follow or adopt"", he added. Hence we understand why each time he took to the stage he never spoke beyond the usual introduction to the Siddhas. The secret teachings were only conveyed to deserving students. He used to tell both Mataji and me that one has to be with the guru for at least 12 years before the guru would pass on any spiritual knowledge. Today we understand his stand on this matter. It takes 12 years for us to cleanse our slate that has been written with filth and trash. This goes the same for Nadi readings. Many a times seekers of the Nadi are led astray and they complain that their readings are false. The Siddhas who are known to play games bring non-believers and those out to test the authenticity of the Nadi readings and readers on a wild goose chase.
Supramania Swami told me three things that should be done in secrecy: Puja, getting intimate with our life partner, and partaking food. I could understand the reason for the later two but why puja? In fact, Agathiyar had us engage in puja and had us share the joy with one and all, with those who attended in person, through streaming and in conducting them in public places and temples. Today I understand that all these subtle messages are for those who have advanced on the path and have come to a better understanding of the work of the divine hand. Agathiyar has asked us to drop all rituals and charity as he says we had done enough, only after engaging in them first. There is no bypass or a way out of Sariyai and Kriyai. It is needed to understand the journey that awaits us better. Now he decides its time we went in. He wants us to go within. Whatever activities that took place all these while was for public consumption so that they too shall step into it. Now the inner experiences are solely for each individual. No two experiences shall be the same. To avoid having to compare with another and feel frustrated in the delays or in not achieving the same experiences, we are told to keep them with us. The Siddhas are known to cover, camouflage, or hide the truth of their messages or meanings from the public with "paripasai" only revealing them to true practitioners of their path. Hence, my question as to why they are not charitable in giving away a good thing in this case the knowledge making it public domain has been answered. Now we realize the need to have a personal guru and his lineage behind him in passing on this knowledge to only truly deserving candidates of theirs and we understand the reason for the long wait. So is it with the songs of the radical Siddhas like Sivavaakiyar, Pattinathar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Mahakavi Bharathi. Their songs are addressed to those on the upper rung of the ladder where the views, perspective,s and experiences are different. Many among us confuse the public further by reciting these highly acclaimed songs to the general layman. We shall never understand the true meaning of their songs unless we have traveled their path too. They forget that the common man needs religion and rituals to satisfy his soul's yearning. It is not wrong to indulge in them. What is wrong with us is to practice them all life long. We need to drop them as we move further up the stairs.
Trailing the path of the guru one is required to be alert to divine or subtle messages that are not commonplace during their talks and large gatherings or interviews with the media, but that happens when alone with the master or while sitting alone in solitude. As I blog many truths dawn on me and become a message and learning for me too. I am only an instrument in their hands. Dhanvantri came to tell us that Tavayogi shall guide us in his Jothi form. Just as Supramania Swami made his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar come from his samadhi and join us in chanting his name at Swami's kudil, the Yogi came from his samadhi with his disciple Supramania Swami raising and our guru from his samadhi too, to bless all gathered at AVM. This explains the fact that both Bhagawan Nithyananda of Ganeshpuri and Yogi Ramsuratkumar of Tiruvannamalai at their deathbed consoled their followers moments before they went into Samadhi that they could do a better job in the subtle form compared to the limitations of the physical form. They promised to continue to guide them too. That is the power or strength of the guru. He is the beacon of light and can disperse the darkness including obstacles. One only needs to hold on tight - to only one guru. In event his guru passes away he is allowed to seek another. But there won't be a necessity to seek another if the genuine guru has instilled his power and strength in his disciples too. They can then survive on their own looking out to their guru in moments of need, although they have left their physical form. One such disciple is Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyaar who now runs the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Kallar in the absence of Tavayogi in physical form.
When many are struggling to accept the new norm in the wake of the pandemic, when Malaysians are so used to leaving the home to chat with their friends in Mamak shops over a cup of tea or Teh Tarik, when many feel miserable in not being able to carry out all their favorite past times, nor permited to travel or fulfil other desires, I wonder how do the monks and inmates of ashrams deal with this interruption to their lives. Obviously they shall not be affected mentally as they live away from society in the mountains and outer reaches of society, away from the public. Apparently they are already well equiped and trained in dealing with outside interferences to their peace, stabilty and livestyle. I guess the pandemic has not affected them in comparison with commonfolk like us, struggling to combat stress and worries and come to terms with the pandemic. Let us too like the monks in these monastries aand ashram who keep on praying for the betterment of all, bring our hands together again and beg of the Almighty to show some grace and mercy in reverting the current situation to better times like those that we have had before. At the same time do keep in mind that we too should comply with the law and help hasten the recovery process. Stay save.