Life is still a mystery even after treading the path of the Siddhas for close to 20 years. Just days ago I thought there was nothing called fate or destiny. We make choices in our lives and pay the price of our actions. It was so clear then. I started to believe there is no fate nor destiny waiting to happen. Instead life is akin to a plain white paper waiting to be written on. Every move is decided in real-time based on the pros and cons of the situation. I was contemplating writing regarding it having drafted a piece on it as follows.
While waiting at the hospital for my daughter's checkup I saw a lady walk up to a young man sitting in the same row as we did. She approached and pointed out to him his wallet on the floor that I presumed had slipped out from his shorts pocket as he sat down. He picked it up and without even a word of thanks nor a look or glance or a nod of thanks to her. Instead, he turned to his partner and gave a sheepish grin. This had me put on my thinking cap. Here was one scenario. All was fine for him since someone discovered that he had dropped his wallet and was good enough to bring it to his attention. What if no one realized nor alerted him? What if someone else had lifted the wallet off the floor and kept it to himself. He would have only realized later when he is called up to make a payment and would have gone into a panic mood. Imagine. So life is full of possibilities in each moment. This has been depicted in many movies like "Sliding Doors", and its Tamil remake "12B" and "Maanaadu" where the lead character tries to prevent certain events from happening. Similarly, we too have choices. Whether we make a wise choice after pondering for days on end or decide a choice spontaneously, the results of our decision-making shall set another chain of events corresponding to our choices.
So is there really something like fate and destiny waiting to happen? I have begun to doubt that now? Rather I tend to believe that fate and destiny take shape accordingly to our choices.
But there are other times when we are pushed to a corner according to the circumstances that arise due to our interactions with family, community, society, the nation, and the world. Here we are left choiceless but to submit to the will of the circumstances. Is this then what is meant by fate and destiny?
As the above draft lay unpublished, I was given a knock on my head waking me up from my deep slumber. I was given a blow in my face and to be more specific "in my eye". As I was playing with my grandchildren, a book comes flying to my face and hits my right eye. My vision in that eye became blurred instantaneously. As it was 5pm last Saturday, I called up the "Eye Surgeons" where I had my lens in both my eyes replaced a year back after I was diagnosed as having cataracts. The nurse told me that they were closing for the day but as it was an emergency, they were willing to stay open till I arrived. I hit the road with my daughter behind the wheels. But "Waze," told us that it would take us an hour to reach. I called them up and they put me to the doctor. The kind Dr. Asokumaran told me that he would send his nurses back but would wait on me. Upon arrival, he checked my eye and assured me that luckily the "flying book" missed the pupil and iris. My scelera though was bruised. He gave me an ointment and hydration drops to apply and assured me the patch of bruised tissue will heal in a couple of days. Returning home with much gratefulness to the divine and the doctor, I asked a devotee through whom Agathiyar speaks to sit in meditation and see if Agathiyar had something to say. I feared I had erred somewhere and hence was punished. Agathiyar showed the extent of the injury to him in meditation and asked that I see Dr. Asokumaran which I already did. He assured us that all shall be fine. He did not speak about the reason or cause for the incident to take place though. True to the doctor's diagnosis and Agathiyar's words of comfort, my vision is back to normal. In fact, I believe I see better now. Was there then some good waiting to happen behind the whole episode?
Dr. Asokumaran had attended to my daughter's eye previously and referred us to his colleagues at the Selayang Hospital who specialize in Retina Detachment. Read about it at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2021/04/amazing-stories.html. My daughter carried her story on video too at https://youtu.be/P3vlCux0Rug
So it made me put on my thinking cap again. If we made the choices in life, how would we explain this and the following real-life instances?
A student gets a blow in his face from his bully schoolmates that injure his eye. He then meets with a road accident while driven to the hospital by his father. He passes away shortly.
How do you explain a road user who escapes injury in a road accident at a traffic signal, but passes away in another accident at the next road intersection just moments later?
How do you explain a man driving along when a motorbike from the opposite lane flies into his path? We understand that the rider had applied emergency brakes as a pedestrian crossed before him in the dark. He had let go of his bike before hitting the tarmac.
How do you explain when a 4 wheel drive hits a car that has stalled on the fast lane and collides into a couple of cars on the other lanes before hitting a lady biker who kept to the very edge of the highway?
How do you explain an old man who was so careful that he used to walk on the grass or pavement beyond the road and its shoulders, away from traffic, is hit by a lorry that goes off the road?
How do you explain injuries sustained when an idle dump truck at a construction site atop a hill rolls down and crashes into waiting cars, parents, and schoolchildren before a school?
How do you explain when a grass cutter who goes about cutting the grass across the road causes a stone to fly and hit a mechanic attending to a car in his workshop smack in his face?
I guess what Tavayogi told us through a devotee makes sense now. He said that life is not a maths equation to be solved but lived and lived well too. The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to experience. Life is a process that cannot be understood by coming together in Satsang, or discussing or deliberating on stage. We need to give way for life to flow in its own accord and time. The process has to take place with or without our participation. It might hasten things if we chose to join it and flow with it rather than work to stall or correct it which might place further obstacles on the way. Even my hold on this opinion shall change with the progress of time and the expansion of space. Let us keep an open mind and accept everything that comes our way.
For instance, take the Agathiyar murthy at AVM for instance. Who knows the destiny of this statue? Will my children carry on the legacy of taking care of him after my demise or shall he change hands and end up in another individual's home or perhaps move into a public place like a peedham or temple as he had originally wanted. Agathiyar initially wanted to move to the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Swamigal Mrithiga Brindavanam in Ipoh. He also wanted to stay at my home during transit while awaiting the completion of the newly built Brindavanam. Upon arrival in Malaysia on 2nd January 2010, he made several visits to the homes of devotees who invited him over. There was no mention of him moving into the Brindavan then. We soon found out that he changed his mind along the way and decided to stay put in my home and have another devotee place another murthy of his there. When Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar came visiting us we brought them and Agathiyar's murthy to the homes of devotees who invited them over. Then for reasons only he knew he dictated that his murthy was not to be moved henceforth. Recently after a lapse of 2 1/2 years, he has asked to be taken to the homes of devotees who invite him over. What's his play? Who can understand the workings of the divine?