In my travels to India in 2003, I stopped over at Vadalur. Packed with excitement after reading about saint Ramalinga Adigal and his songs, I was deeply disappointed from the very moment I touched the grounds where Ramalinga Adigal had walked. Contrary to the many wonderful experiences I had during my travel, the experience I had there made me tell myself that the saint was not there anymore. I shared this to close ones upon my return. So was I turned off at Chidambaram went a young priest eyed my watch and asked to part with it. I told myself I wasn't coming back to the temple. Agathiyar in a Nadi reading later asked me to visit the place but I refused.
When I and my wife went over to a Siddha samadhi temple that was in the midst of a complete makeover, I told my wife that he was not there anymore. We both wept in the car and returned back without placing our feet there. I shared this experience with close ones later. I have had many beautiful moments with the Siddha when it was a humble dwelling back then.
But to my surprise, recently Agathiyar asked a devotee to go to this Siddha samadhi temple. Why did he ask her to go when Agathiyar himself had confirmed my earlier observation. Had I erred in my observation? Had I said something contrary to the truth? Have I brought the wrath of the Gods, Siddhas, and gurus upon me? Then I remembered that when there was some commotion in a temple between two committees claiming to be the rightful "owner" of the deity and temple (and its assets), the presiding deity came through a devotee and told someone close that she was not there anymore. But she turns up when a true seeker or devotee comes. I guess the Siddhas like the deities come to usher their true devotees upon their arrival too. I remember Tavayogi in bringing me to the abodes of the Siddhas in the jungles would turn around and tell me that the Siddhas were ushering us. Agathiyar in the Nadi has told us to go on pilgrimages telling us that he would be there to usher us. True to his words he has appeared in many forms to greet us at these places.
Man needs to transform both physically and subtly, both in body and mind and in the habits that become his character later. We are here for this purpose. This transformation can only take place here, hence the reason the saints have reiterated over and over again about the priceless commodity that we have brought with us - our body and mind. It is rare to have a human birth they say. Only a human can transform into the nature of God. Many saints and Siddhas have done it and have shown us the way to it.
But before we venture to become godly we need to first step into sainthood. This does not mean discarding our clothing and draping on a kaavi or loincloth. We have to inculcate the noble values, that goodness that overrides its opposite. Become a good man first. This man then will be seen as a divine person in the eyes of others. This man shall then be elevated to the status of the divine as Ramalinga Adigal sings of his rise to the statue of the divine with gratitude.
We have failed to show our gratitude to the divine many a times. When the rules were slackened as we began to come out of the recent pandemic, as I was having my lunch in a Chinese restaurant a Chinese man came up to me and asked if I could share the table with him as the others were taken. Even before taking his first mouthful he immediately began to speak about the health and economic crisis as a result of the numerous lockdowns and shutdowns. I wondered what was the reason he came to the restaurant? Was it to appease his hunger or start a conversation? His business, like many others, had been hit hard he said and went on to rattle about it. I stopped him midway and asked him if he would have shown me his bank statements and
spoken to me about the profits he made, in good times? Now, why was he sharing his losses when things are bad? I told him to be grateful for all the good years prior to the pandemic. He zipped up.
Whenever someone begins to talk about their illnesses, sufferings, misery, etc, I tell them that they should be grateful that it had only reared its ugly head now and not sooner. I ask them to be grateful for the good years they had prior to falling ill or meeting with the tragedy. I shut them up forcefully.
Many are visibly shaken when those close and dearest to them suddenly fall ill. They ask me to pray for their recovery. I used to do so back then. These days I only pray for the kids who have a future ahead of them. I stand for them before the deities telling the gods that it was not fair to penalize them at such a young age. As for the elderly, I tell their family to send them off happily as they have lived life to the fullest. We need to learn to let go. Many saints have taught us to let go. The Buddhist monks in creating the mandala, taking the pain to produce such masterpieces eventually after a simple ritual, destroy their very creation. They teach themselves not to be tied down or shackled to the merits of their work or its results. They teach the world that nothing is permanent. When a mother lost her child she came to the Buddha hoping that he could revive the child. The Buddha told her that she had to ask for alms from the village folks first. He laid a condition too. She was only to receive the alms from those homes that had not seen death occur. She left on this venture, knocking from door to door but returned empty-handed as she came to realize that there was a death in every family. The bereaved mother became composed and collected and accepted the truth.
When a mantra initiation is given or we are told to chant a particular mantra do not take up the mouse and search the internet for the rewards of chanting it. Neither verify the mantra if it was spelled or pronounced right. Instead, take up the practice of chanting it immediately. The results will be seen in good time with our concerted effort put in. The results written about or spoken about by others might not necessarily apply to us.
When I received the Moola Mantra that Agathiyar gave me in my Nadi reading in the past, I began to recite it. Soon l wanted to share the goodness of this mantra with others and posted it on YouTube. My friend's brother dropped by and questioned why he was given a slight variation of the mantra also through the Nadi?
When someone was given a mantra recently by Agathiyar in the Nadi, he started comparing the transcript of the reading and the audio recording and noticed a difference. He pointed it out to me. I had to tell him that the mantra does not matter. It is just a tool to get us to sit in the first place. I narrated the story of the over-zealous young monk who left his monastery to preach to others on the orders of his master. I had carried this story numerous times in this blog. But it looks like no one is reading. Upon arriving at the river that cut off the village from the monastery atop the hill, he waited for the boatman to cross the river. He then happened to notice an old man mumbling to himself. Going over to him he realized that the old man was chanting the mantra given to him at the monastery. But he realized that the old man was saying it wrong. The young lad enthusiastic to teach the old man the right way to recite the matra told him that he was saying it wrongly and went ahead to correct him. The old man listened and followed him. The young monk who was pretty pleased with his achievement stepped into the next boat that came by to cross the river. In the middle of the river, the young monk noticed the boatman's jaw drop. What was it that made the boatman who was facing the river bank from where he had alighted the boat, go pale? The kid turned around to see the old man stand behind them, his legs standing on water! The old man bent toward the kid and asked him to repeat the mantra as he had forgotten it in that short time. The kid knowing his foolishness begged for forgiveness and followed him back to the river bank.
When we sit before a Nadi reading take the message and leave. Do not investigate the instrument, either the reader or the Nadi leaves for its authenticity.
Man wants to be rewarded without putting in the effort. Agathiyar tells me Gnana too is not gifted by him but comes with our effort. At the end of the journey, traveling the spiral path, traversing the chakras we shall arrive at it he says, not any sooner nor does it come as a gift.
At Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) we broke a few rules. We brought many changes to our worship of the Siddhas. The dynamic and youthful group we had then took to these changes easily. It was easy to work on them. I dread to think how I would have managed the older ones. They can never be molded or chiseled. They find it so difficult to move away from their hold on tradition.
Speaking to two heads of missions under Agathiyar's name, I put forth the idea of reducing their current rituals and shortening the festivity by dropping some events. But they explained that those were time-held traditions that they fear disrupting less they are scorned that they broke tradition.
I guess that is the reason Lord Muruga in wanting me to build a temple for him told me that I shall do it differently when I questioned the need for yet another temple for him. I guess this is what I did in a past birth and earned the wrath of fellow Namboothiri priests in Kerala too. They and others had cursed me for going against tradition and changing it.
செல்வனுக்கு ஷண்முகமே பெருமாகும்
சாதகனும் முன் உருவில் கேரளத்தில்
தேசத்தில் முதல்வர்க தனவான் செய்யாக
தான் இவனும் ஆலய சேவை செய்ய
கான இவன் வேதம் அதை முறையும் மாற்றி
சாதகனோ உரைத்திடவே சாபம் பெற்றான்
தான் இவனோ இது பிறவி அதனால் தோற்றம்
சாற்றும் நாள் வாழ்ந்து வர சாபம் தொடர ..
I seem to have carried this vasana or urge to change things in this birth too for when I stepped into the Siddha path I was not easily satisfied with whatever little that was available then. I had to know the truth rather than follow like the sheep. After receiving the calling to see the Nadi and after Agathiyar made a calling to me to join his path, I went knocking on many doors but was not satisfied. Agathiyar then sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to Malaysia where I am nudged to go over and see him. He takes me and my wife into the path officially giving us an initiation. My children followed us.
I guess the reason I came to the Siddha path is that here is where we can venture to experiment with the means and the tools and gain the experiences in attaining the goals. We are given the freedom to explore and satisfy the Soul. This is not made available in traditional and religious centers of worship and learning. I guess the reason both Ramalinga Adigal and Mahakavi Bharathi are considered Siddhas too is that they broke the rules. Tavayogi once told me that the Siddha cannot be caged up or shackled. The Atma too needs to be free to experiment and realize. When I told him my sadness in not being able to bring next of kin and close ones into the fold of the Siddhas, Tavayogi who came through a devotee asked that I let it be. They have come to live life and its pleasures. Let then exhaust these desires he added.
Sailing the river for some 20 years on these calm waters I guess Agathiyar is pleased with all the puja and rituals that we did all these years. He has asked us to know the Atma and gain release or Atma Viduthalai. We look towards him to show us the way.