I am amazed how Agathiyar taking hold of our hands, led us to take one step at a time, carefully pointing to the dangers along the way as we walked on the stones laid across the stream and waded the stream where there were none. Starting with the recitation of mantras and the names of Siddhas which were the stepping stones that elevated us to the next level of Yoga asanas and pranayama, perfecting the mind and body respectively, we became receptors of the energies that prevail all around us. But as we progressed Agathiyar and Tavayogi kept us under check less our ego should arise and bring our downfall.
Shanthi Amma told me once that the Sage of Kanchi or Mahaperiyavar was humble to the core. Though I was in Kanchipuram in 2003 and again in 2016 I never visited the math. Next, I saw the humbleness in Supramania Swami and Tavayogi. Tavayogi who trashed my ego the very first time he came over to my home kept taming this shrew numerous times. Each thing I held dear too, he made me drop it. Agathiyar too made us drop our attachment to puja, rituals, and charity. When Balamurugan who went to Kailash in 2011 told me that he felt very small standing before Mount Kailash I was made to feel small too. I felt small when I came to know from Kumarsamy Aiya of Anuvaavi Agathiyar Ashram that he came to Agathiyar at the age of 8. Today he heads the ashram. Even as the AVM family returned home after visiting India including Kumarsamy Aiya's Ashram and gathered at AVM in his presence to share the many miracles we saw on our trip, he sat by and just watched us, amateurs, rattle away. I salute him.
Last night, as I spoke to Shankar Aiya who takes care of Adhi Kumbeswar Agathiyar temple, I felt little as he told me he came to know Ramalinga Adigal when he was a year old. He lost his father and was sent to a home that was run under the name of Ramalinga Adigal. He grew up in this home. Soon he saw himself serving Agathiyar at Adhi Kumbeswar Temple. We were blessed to have met this humble soul during our visit to the temple in 2016.
Compared to them, I only came to the Siddha path when I was 43. When I asked why I only knew of this path late in life, Tavayogi gave me another blow. He replied, "Be grateful that at least you came to know about it now!" I have been getting beatings to my ego to this day. I guess it is to keep me under check. But I love it as it only shows that Agathiyar loves me. As the father disciplines his son because he loves him, Agathiyar goes about molding me to be a better person. But we both agree that I have failed miserably in certain areas. Even after giving me a pep talk on anger management for an hour through a Nadi reading, I cannot seem to do away with my anger. I pray that he accepts my weaknesses and would never abandon me. I am deeply grateful to the divine for another reason too. The late Dr. Krishnan had told me that by God's grace I would lose money and forego the pain and agony of a disease. It looks like in exhausting our karma there are two ways to it. Either we come down with an illness or we lose money. If we suffer financial losses be grateful that your appending illness has been taken away. If we are a miser the cost of treatment shall drain our resources eventually. There is no way out. We would rather choose to lose money and stay healthy than fall ill and lose money too in treating our illness.
When we brush aside ethics and values, Ramalinga Adigal shivers upon just thinking about the wrongs he might have done. But when he looks at the good that has come out of his association with God he delights.