RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

I have seen a small group sit and meditate among the blasting of the songs that accompany the aerobic class conducted by an inconsiderate group right beside at the park that drowns the meditative music played by the former group. I had told the latter to be a bit considerate but she argued back giving reasons and justifying her stand. I left it at that. Today I managed to pick up a chat with this small group and came to find out that they were following the Falun Dafa, also called Falun Gong. I had taken it up from the chief clerk at our office back then, who had a small group of colleagues practice it before we started work. I told them that I was amazed at seeing them sit amidst all the din and noise. They told me just what Agathiyar told me when I was called to go within and faced the din and noise from my neighbors. They told me that though it would be pretty easy to meditate in silence, this was the true challenge. Thinking that one senior citizen among them was the Sifu, I was surprised that there was only one Sifu, their leader and master Mr. Li Hongzhi. All the rest were students who gathered among themselves to practice what they learned. When I asked them to tell me more they very humbly turned me down telling me that it has to be heard from the master and they did not want to distort the facts. They referred me to their website, videos, and materials available online. I was truly amazed by the humbleness in these souls. I guess in this school, there is no question of the Ego arising and one dominating the others. They are all students of one grandmaster. As in our tradition, the skills and techniques are handed down to some and they are made gurus to teach others, Agathiyar who initially wanted me to take up the role of a teacher has shelved it for something else that does not need me to interact with the public, hence killing the Ego even before it emerges. Agathiyar had recently revealed that Tavayogi had gifted me his state of a guru or Guru Stanam just as my first guru Supramania Swami left behind the merits of his 40 years of Tavam or austerities. But Agathiyar had since then dropped the role of a guru that he intended for me, switching it for the state of a Siddha. I could not believe it asking myself if I was qualified and would fit the role or state. I guess we have been told, shown, and portrayed an image of a Siddha by others before us that we think we too need to fit into. It is not so, says Agathiyar. Asking Agathiyar what I should do further to attain this said state, he tells me to do nothing and emphasizes again and again that I have arrived. I am grateful to him. I am grateful to them for their confidence, belief, and faith in me though I have so many weaknesses to work on further. 

When I began to rub on my fears of rain and water on my 4-year-old granddaughter days ago, asking her how were her parents going to fetch her from my house in this rain, she replied cleverly "Aren't they driving?" Even family, friends, and colleagues used to say "You are inside the car, right?" while others would brush it off saying "Ah, It is just water droplets. Not spears." This morning seeing the sky darken, as I hurried back from my morning walk in the park towards my car, I told a Malay lady who was making her way to the park that it was about to rain. She too brushed it aside saying it was only water. Agathiyar had directed Hanumathdasan Aiya, the famed Nadi reader of Chennai, and his friends to a particular temple and told him to open up the Nadi at a particular spot on the temple grounds. Just then raindrops fell and this group packed up and made a dash for cover. Agathiyar asked, "How can you be a Siddha if you are afraid of the rain?" Indeed Agathiyar is said to have carried out his Tavam or austerities on the seabed for some 12 years. 

What is the basis for my fear of water? The horoscope tells me that I have a Kandam or Danger in water. True enough I had slipped and fallen into the water as I alighted a boat at the stroke of midnight after shopping on the mainland with others from our construction team for the island where we were putting up a school. What saved me was the two huge bags that acted as life jackets and kept me afloat after I took a dip initially. I was then a student at an engineering college doing my internship with the Public Works Department. But this fear goes back to the days of my ancestors in India. Looking back at the history of the Chettiars in whose community my father was born, a flood had forced the original residents of Kaveripattinam in the past to move inland until a king offered them land to pitch their homes and stay. That is present-day Karaikudi. Though they are inland now, it is interesting to note that even today the entrance to their homes has a wall built to keep the waters out in the event it rises. This practice was prevalent in Malaysia too. The one my parents rented had one too, though when it rains, water from the river next to our home would still flood our home. I guess the fear lives on. So there goes my chance at trying to reach this state. Sorry, Agathiyar. It looks like I do not qualify even in this first round. I have to come back and attempt again too, just as Tavayogi told me when I asked to see him become Jothi or light. Thanks anyway for the opportunity.

KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK

Tavayogi once told me to speak about the Siddhas in the midst of others during the opening of a new Peedham in a house in Banting during one of his earlier visits to Malaysia. I was figuring out what to say for I knew so little as I was new to the path. Upon his insistence, I hesitatingly began to speak a few words about him and set off with chanting of the Maha Mantra Arutperunjothi where all those gathered followed suit. I escaped the trial and test cunningly. 

I remember the moment when I spoke about religion to a new colleague of mine at the office back then during my bachelor days when I read a lot. He seemed intent on listening and I continued on. Eventually, he yawned and bid goodbye. Tavayogi used to tell me to preach where what we have to say is received well. As I had experienced it, I was always careful to speak. But I guess I slipped when just like Tavayogi, Agathiyar some time back told me to speak to a gathering of devotees after the puja. Again I started with some hesitation. I called upon those gathered to share their experiences with Agathiyar. When I ended my talk touching on the subject of vegetarianism, Agathiyar who always apprehended me if I stepped out of line, came later and told me that it was not an appropriate venue to speak on it as those gathered were not ready to change their eating habits and switch their diet. 

When I was heading the Parent-Teachers Association at my daughter's school back then when she was studying there, I would be given a script to read and address the students, teachers, and parents whenever there were events. Following the advice of my gurus that one before taking the stand or stage must study the audience and the target group and his speech should reach the target group, I would study the audience first. Whenever they seemed inattentive or distracted, I would cut short my speech and give way for the next event on the agenda. 

Many love to talk. They can go on for hours without ever asking if the message got across. They keep rattling even if it is pretty obvious that the audience was disinterested, distracted, or lost their attention span. I love the scene from the movie "Sakuni" where when a guru sitting under a tree preaches and people keep talking among themselves, two youths who observe this from afar walk up to him and sell him an innovative way to "Package and Market" his "product". People start to turn towards him seeking his attention when he begins to keep quiet. The youths had taught him to shut up and in doing so gain their attention. So it goes that Lord Dhakshanamurthy used to preach to his students under a tree too. They would ask him questions and he would answer them. But it simply did not register in them for they carried on asking more questions and it kept going on. Finally, he kept his silence, and the knowledge dawned from within them. 

When Dr.Krishnan who knew my passion for Agathiyar insisted that I meet the head of an establishment in the name of Agathiyar from a neighboring state who had pitched himself in the office space of the doctor, I hesitatingly pulled myself over just to oblige my good friend, astrologer, and Siddha Practitioner. The head asked me what I was doing and I replied that I had a statue of Agathiyar and was worshipping him at home. He then threw at me the songs of Sivavakiyar stating his disapproval of idol worship. I replied that I needed it because I was a beginner and above and beyond that it was Agathiyar who directed me to do so. But my reasoning fell on deaf ears and he went on rattling. As I figured it was useless knocking sense into him, I shut up and closed my eyes. That is when the Siddhas stepped in, something I did not anticipate nor knew then. A loud laughter echoed, that shut him up. Upon opening my eyes he was not to be seen again. I left the premises as I saw that the doctor was still engaged with his clients unaware of what had transpired in the waiting room. They saved me yet again. 

When I began to edit videos and upload them to YouTube, and carried news on Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram on several websites in the beginning years, coming across an ugly comment about a photo of my first guru Supramania Swami that a friend and devotee had posted on his Facebook page, I deactivated all these accounts. When I told Tavayogi about my actions, he said to me, "Why son, let it be. Many shall come (to the path) watching and reading what you upload and post." I began to upload the videos again and create the websites from scratch, again.

Agathiyar had told me when he broke the group in 2019 having us go our way after giving each the tools and showing the method and the way, that henceforth it would be a solo journey as the path had narrowed and not to wait for others to catch up and time was running out for me and I shall miss the train. Agathiyar who tasked me to write this blog, asked that I share the transformation and its related experiences taking place within me in 2022 with readers. Most recently Lord Muruga came to remind me and reinforce this, asking me to do nothing and that he shall take care of his subjects, lifting the blind notion that I had of having a responsibility towards bringing others to the fold too. Knowing my anger, I guess Agathiyar who initially wanted me to take up the role of a teacher has shelved it for something that does not need me to interact with the public. I am grateful for his kind consideration. Then when we see all the chaos going on around us, we are reminded that what we say or write can get us into trouble with others or the authorities. I pray that I have not stepped on other's feet nor crossed the limits. If I have please forgive me. 

FEAR NOT

It is 4am and I am awakened by an intense hunger. I seem to have a good appetite which is good. I guess all the morning and evening walks are creating these hunger pangs. While I spend my day doing nothing, my mind seems to churn out new understandings. I get to jot them down immediately otherwise these are lost. And so is it that these postings have come to be.

Everything is so institutionalized. There is no space for the soul to grow. The child who should learn from experiences is dictated what to do and what not to do. How is he going to gain these experiences if he or she is not given the space to live out his or her life and experience it? 

If I had wanted to experience some cherished moments in this birth or had cherished these desires but never got to it in a past birth, those close to me seem to have carried certain desires that needed me to be around them in this birth too. Agathiyar too on his part threw in many instances where I would trip and fall and gain these experiences too. So do not blame yourself entirely for all that comes your way. There are many factors that came into play for you to take the stage and act out your roles. Do not be dampened by the long list of Karma that is revealed either through the Nadi or other means. Take all the remedial measures given and walk away from it renewed. Ensure that you do not step into the puddle again after having cleansed yourself. That is all that is required for life to blossom and grow beautifully. The soul that came to experience this world of duality has to walk through all the facets of life to mature and return. The methods and the ways are but only tools to use to achieve its objective. Do not hold on to it lifelong. One has to walk away from it all to step into and experience other terrains. 

WITNESSING THE ATMA

We have seen, heard, and read of so many upheavals in the spiritual scene and are still seeing, hearing, and reading about them. It seems like no one is exempted from the divine play. I guess that is the Divine, unbiased and not taking sides, the Supreme Judge, or does he in fact judge us? I do not think so. If he starts judging us then what is the difference between him and us? 

He is the Watcher. He has set the mechanism into play and this is setting the scenes and the stage and the situations and the play into motion. If we are mere puppets in his hands what then is the motive in coming to take the stage and play out these individual roles, for we are told that we are individual Souls having come here from his abode and side to live out the experiences that we as Souls had desired. Once its desires are fulfilled it sheds the body and returns to where it came from. The cycle begins again when it builds another shed and comes within to dwell and live another life. This would only mean that we should go with the flow, and accept all that happens not as God's will but as what our Souls had intended and desired to be and experience. So we can't possibly blame God, can we?

So where does God come into the picture then? He does not, right? But if the Souls are supposed to have been a part of the whole before building this gross body and its components to live out its dreams, it would only mean that God is going through this moment and every moment, be it the misery, the hardship, the pain, the pleasure, the joy, etc living in "us". Is it then, that the Soul living in us is that which is going through all these moments, that we mistakingly think are happening to "us". 

Since we tend to relate this "us" with the gross body, where then is this "us" the moment the body is dead? What keeps it alive? This has to be something that is beyond the material plane for we have laid the material and gross body to rest. So is this the Soul then? Is the Soul keeping us alive? Is this the reason the saints are not the least perturbed, disturbed, or bothered by what happens to this dwelling knowing that there is another waiting once the job here is done? I guess when this identification with the body drops, the Soul arises. That would be Atma Darisanam or Witnessing One's Atma. When the identification with the Soul arises we know we are one with God, the ParamAtma.

So the JeevAtma in me engineered this body for its needs and purpose, came to dwell in it, and experiences the joint play that God, the ParamAtma, and its siblings that are the other Atmas or the other drops of rain, have come to put together and shower as the Divine Play. So where then is "our" part in it? The I, mine, we, ours, us, does not exist then, does it? The Ego drops of its own accord without fighting back. I guess that is the reason the saints laugh it off in the face of adversaries and danger.

We have a long way to go towards becoming a Siddha and Gnani. We are still perturbed, disturbed, and bothered, by any speech or action taken against us, or any inaction on the part of others that we wish they did. We are so concerned about this abode and dwelling even after knowing that it is temporary. We stand up for the right, condemn the wrong, and voice our opinions knowing fully that what is deemed right now might be declared unlawful later or vice versa. 

Just as the knife can be put to good use or used to cause harm, the net too is choked with good, the bad, and the ugly. If in the days of the past, we only had access to what was conveyed by eyewitnesses, these days we do not even know the source of the many news that reach our ears. It is for us to verify them. 

It is interesting to realize that just as there are two sides to a coin, while some would see the wearing of amulets and gemstones to ward off evil and bring luck and charm, having statues in vehicles, pictures in homes, and Yantras in offices, on the other hand, some might ask "If I believe in God, why do I need these protections." 

All of the former is required for beginners. These are not required as one reaches the apex of his spiritual standing. So it is only understandable that Tavayogi and the Siddhas discarded them only when they reached this state and not earlier. I guess Tavayogi must have thought that I was ready to discard these for he had me drop everything after our first meeting and the days to come. I guess he must have thought that I was ready too for the implant of his teachings. Agathiyar came later and had me drop whatever remaining attachments that I had too. He asked that I divert my attention within and look at my Soul thenceforth. The Siddhas do not see Tom, Dick, and Harry, but only the Souls in this vessel. Life is like water that is held in a vessel. We have come to fill crores of vessels and have ended up smashed and broken in doing so and returned to the earth and the other elements. What has come along in this long journey is the Atma. We are all Atmas living a life on the face of the earth. Let us see others as Souls too, and then a major portion of all our troubles will cease to be. 

GO WALKING

While taking my morning walk at the park yesterday I picked up a chat with a Malay lady in her seventies from the East Coast. She surprisingly told me that as she had discharged her responsibilities now she took the time for herself. She indulges in walking and after her walk chatting with some friends. This reminded me of Agathiyar who in carrying out our 60th birthday told my children to drop their dependency on us and told us to step into another phase of discovery of one's soul. On my evening walk around the neighborhood another Malay lady who was also from the East Coast state of Kelantan, stopped me to chat outside her home. She told me that though her grandma was in her nineties, she who was only 34 found it tough to climb stairs after succumbing to the recent Covid. It reminded me of a friend and devotee who felt the same being a victim of COVID-19 but managed to regain his strength and spirit and is now walking far. So I asked her to begin walking too, around the neighborhood for start. I have a Chinese neighbor who without fail would wake up at 5am and after looking at the needs of the Chinese deities at his home altar would leave his home at 6am for his daily walk and return an hour later. 

We have to drive the point to others for the need to exercise or at least walk some distance each day. Much of our work revolves around the desk and office. As for the housewife, hours are spent in the kitchen and at home. Take some time off to take a walk. I was blessed that my work for the most part involved walking and climbing stairs and field work as I was in the projects. I guess that contributed to my good health. My father-in-law who is 87 and was in the estates still engages in his morning walk. My daughter and son-in-law take their children for hikes and walks whenever possible. One should realize that the freedom to walk is a blessing, and appreciate this freedom, after having had to stay indoors during the pandemic. Go walking and burn your illness and worries away.

ARRIVING THERE

I have seen many come and go. Most come seeking an end to their sufferings, cures for their illnesses, a means to end domestic violence and troubles, a solution to their debts, fulfillment of marriage longings, fulfillment of desires, monetary gains, career upliftment, and a long list of wants. They failed to realize that the Siddhas are not here to give them these. They are here to enlighten us about Karma, the law of cause, and its effects through the Nadi reading or other means. They are here to make us realize our past mistakes, carry out remedies to balance the score, and atone for them, never to repeat them again so that there would be no seed or Vasana to bring and carry forward that could summon the need for another birth. They are here to teach us to become independent and take it up with the divine directly through rituals and puja or worship, taking it up by oneself or guided by the guru, which bridges both worlds and reconnects us with them. They are here to reveal to us the existence of the Atma or JeevaAtma or Soul in us that has been hidden, masked, veiled, and thrown into the dungeon in our hearts, by our ever-growing and hungry Ego, through the coming of the guru who helps us reconnect with it. They are here to bring us to take notice of our breath and use it as a tool to arouse the energies, which unfortunately due to our ignorance are being used at a minimum, to attain greater intensity and reach greater heights. They are here to help us connect with Mother Earth and the Prapanjam, dealing directly with her for all our needs, thus breaking all barriers and bypassing the need for further mediums, instruments, and tools. I understand now why Tavayogi at one point told us that we did not need the Nadi. I understand now why Agathiyar stopped all rituals at AVM too. When a battery is fully charged, why would we want to charge it further? I understand now why Agathiyar in bringing down the shutters on AVM in 2019 in the wake of the approaching pandemic told me henceforth it shall be a solo journey and most recently Lord Muruga told me not to get uptight and angry that others care less to bring about the much-awaited upliftment of their souls that was the desire of both Tavayogi and Agathiyar. I understand now why Agathiyar and Lord Murugan told me that there was nothing else for me to do, be it any effort, practice, or observance thenceforth. They tell me to do nothing further. Agathiyar tells me that I have arrived. There is a state of Contentment. Completeness. Bliss. Joy. Peace. As Saint Arunagiri finally tells Lord Muruga, "I am speechless after attaining the state of PerAnandham or Extreme Bliss", I am to take in the bliss and remain in this blissful state. I am grateful. 

LET IT BE

Know that your end is near if you have no appetite to eat. I always wake up with a hunger. The hunger sometimes wakes me up even at odd hours of the morning at 4am or when these hunger pangs come on towards midnight. I can eat and eat. My grandchildren are good eaters too. I love buying food for them. I love buying food for others too. I teach them to appreciate and not waste. Eating is something very religious for me. I eat in silence, as my 3-year-old grandson says one should savor and enjoy everything except when there is company to entertain. I have never fasted in my life though I had to go on fruits and raw vegetables during the day for one month during the Muslim month of fasting, as the Malay settlement or kampung Teluk Muruh or Cape Muruh where I was posted was predominantly Malay, and all shops were closed during the day. The good I gained from this diet was that my eyesight had improved tremendously.  

Exercising is a culture that I have come to adopt. In many families, you hardly see anyone exercising. You see the obese and sick yet it does not move another to take up exercising and stay healthy. We are all slaves to our tongues. There might be many good nutritious foods out there but we ignore them and our eyes or rather tongues look for the tasty but that which eventually is detrimental to health. We know a lot of things but somehow keep making these mistakes knowingly. We forget that our desires and likings will bring trouble later. When the house is near ruins only then do we go looking for help, first from the doctors, then alternative practitioners, Siddha and Ayurveda practitioners, Shamans, and medicine men, Siddhas, Deities, and Gods, even the dead souls and spirits. But by then it might be too late to reverse the condition. Even if these invisible angels and those in human forms were to help us recover, we go back to our old ways and routines forgetting what we had gone through, never learning from these experiences. We are all here to learn from experiences, both the bitter and sweet. It is sometimes pointless to help those who do not help themselves. I guess this is what Lord Muruga in coming recently told me not to get uptight with others who do not follow even after using me as a laboratory animal to show them. He said he would take care of them and asked me to do nothing. Let it be, he told me. I guess I shall let things be. This might be a break for me too.

THE TRANSFORMATION

Though Tavayogi never gave a hint about what to expect if we put into practice the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that he showed us on his visit to Malaysia in 2007, it triggered the dormant energy that came to lie asleep after doing its job of creating this body and its accessories. Though he gave us this wonderful tool that Agathiyar says was a treasure later, none of the few who were present to watch him show us and did it that day continued this legacy. They have missed a chance of a lifetime. It is not every day that a guru or master comes to give us a treasure. 

What this practice did was to bring in excessive Prana within each breath, expanding the capacity of the lungs that was used to sedentary living, never pushed to its limit. This was the very first and obvious difference that was noticed. Soon many transformations took place in the physical body and its internals. Later subtle energies were released once the house was cleared of its impurities. This energy created both pain and bliss as it made its way up on its path with eagerness to join with her lifetime mate whom she left to start a new home in each one of us. Now that we are in her clutches she brings us to know her soulmate. We are a family once more again.

Swami Muktananda sheds some light in his book "Kundalini - The Secret of Life" published by Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994.

"The basis of all disease and pain is the impurities that block the flow of Prana in the Nadis. These blockages are caused by imbalances and disorders in the three bodily humors - wind, bile, and phlegm. She (Kundalini) penetrates all 720 million Nadis, consumes all the old decaying fluids, and then releases vital energy into them all. The Nadis become filled with Prana. It is only after the body has been purified that the Shakti can work with full force."

"On her journey to the Sahasrara, Kundalini passes through all the sense organs, purifying them and investing them with new powers. As Kundalini rises to the ocular center, she purifies the eyes. As the Kundalini purifies the sense of touch, one begins to feel thrilled of love through every pore and hair of the body. One becomes immersed in the joy of touch. When Kundalini reaches the center of smell it purifies that, and one comes into direct contact with the essence of smell. When the Shakti moves to the auditory center, she purifies this too. When a shower of nectar is released and begins to fall dropping onto the root of the tongue, the taste buds become extremely refined. Even the simplest food is relished."

Swami Muktananda writes "Because the Shakti is subtler than the subtlest some people may not be aware of it during the initial stages of practice." 

Swami Kripananda, in writing the introduction for Swami Muktananda's "Kundalini - The Secret of Life" published by Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994, says that,

"This knowledge (of the Kundalini) was so well hidden, in fact, that when Swami Muktananda received Kundalini awakening from his own master Bhagawan Nityananda and began experiencing its effects, he had no idea what was happening to him. He wrote his first great work the spiritual autobiography "Play of Consciousness" to prevent his own students from running into the same confusion and to help them understand the process unfolding within them." So did Agathiyar too, ask that I share my experiences in beckoning and coming face to face with this powerhouse with my readers so that we shall come together to know her majesty."

Tavayogi never wanted to touch that subject nor initiate the public into this energy. But although he never initiated us into arousing the Kundalini directly in whatever manner, select yogic postures and practices that he taught a handful of us during his visit in 2007, did magic in us in bringing us to experience it unknowingly over the years. Agathiyar revealed later that the techniques we picked up from him and with practice did just that over time. He surprised me in a Nadi reading on 13.10.2007, mentioning that the Siddhas were delighted to see the Kundalini Sakti arise. உண்டாகும் குண்டலினி சக்தி உனக்கு உயர்வதைக் கண்டு நாங்கள் வியந்தோம் அப்பா. With the Muladhara activated in 2007, Agathiyar monitored my progress more closely. 

There is no written rule and a path for this energy to travel and traverse once aroused from its slumber. The Yogic practice did help me, though I had no idea it was the reason I went through some 2 1/2 years of lower back pain until Agathiyar revealed it in 2012. On 30.1. 2020 Agathiyar told me that I had stagnated in my worldly affairs and told me, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா.

When these energies stagnated at the next chakra the Svadisthana for some fifteen years, Agathiyar broke its banks in July of 2022. It had begun to stagnate and pond at the Manipuraka until 2022 when I guess the time was right to break the bunds and let the waters free. Since then there was no looking back as the waters made their way to the river mouth and estuary at the crown of the head. With Agathiyar watching us every moment, the process though painful at times went on smoothly and we saw its results, to my bewildment and to his excitement and satisfaction. 

He told me "Currently your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. At present your breath is at the pond (lake). The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely." 

இத்தருணம் உமக்கு மூலாதாரம் திறந்தது, ஸ்வாதிஸ்டானம் திறந்தது. இப்பொது மான் மூச்சி குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்போதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்த நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்துவிடும். 

R Venugopal writes in his "Soul Searchers - The Art of Breathing", Health Harmony, New Delhi, 2000, "The Svadishtana is regarded as a blockage to the awakening of the kundalini. He says the actual awakening starts from the Manipura chakra only. Till the time Manipura chakra does not get purified and awakened the Kundalini cannot rise fully."

Shortly after on 22 August 2022, I felt a pull of a nerve and a tug right below the navel immediately upon waking up and stretching myself in bed at 6.40am. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chillness. My whole body became numb right to the tips. But it was blissful. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge come on to pee and urine. I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine. 

The next day, I woke up at 7.20am, to go to the loo but I could not piss. I collapsed again. I called my wife asking her to bring the peacock feathers over. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed. She stroked my body with it. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I lay like a deadlog on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso I was able to see, hear, and talk and was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Soon it went away.

Seeking answers to what had taken place, Agathiyar cleared the air later. He told me not to worry and said that the pond water had been released. கவலை கொள்ள ஒன்றுமில்லை. தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. Previously he had told me that energy had stagnated which I understood as at the Svathisthana. It was released now and the energies continued their journey further, by their sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. But he warns me that I have to maintain it at the crown of the head and never do anything that jeopardizes this state, otherwise, it shall fall back to the Muladhara. He says it then shall be a wasted effort on the part of the Siddhas to assist these energies to move to higher chakras. If that happens Agathiyar says that he shall have to reprimand me. This was a stern warning from him. 

On 9 October 2022, Agathiyar clarified further, "Due to man's inappropriate lifestyle, the Muladhara chakra or Kulam (pond or lake) has been dammed and prevented from flowing. With continuous practice of breathing techniques over time, the chakras gain power or energy or Shakti. By continuing this one can become light and continue living as light, can become Brahmam in the Paraveli and reach the Holy Feet of Sivan who drank the poison."

மனிதனின் முறை அற்ற வாழ்வியல் முறையால் முடக்க பட்டுக் கிடக்கும் மூலாதார சக்ரம் (இங்குக் குளம் என்பது சக்கரத்தைக் குறிப்பதாகும்)
காலத்தினால் மேட்கொள்ளும் மூச்சி பயிற்சியினால் சக்கரம் சக்திகொள்ளும்
அப்படி செய்து வரவே ஒளியாகி வாழலாம் பரவெளியில் பிரமம் ஆகலாம் விஷம் குடித்த அந்தச் சிவனின் பாதம் அடையலாம்

This reminds us of Swami Muktananda saying the same. 

"It is only after the body has been purified that the Shakti can work with full force. The basis of all disease and pain is the impurities that block the flow of Prana in the nadis. These blockages are caused by imbalances and disorders in the three bodily humors - wind, bile, and phlegm. She (Kundalini) penetrates all 720 million nadis consumes all the old decaying fluids, then releases vital energy into them all. The Nadis become filled with Prana."

Just as Agathiyar says once it is aroused it does its work and there is nothing for us to do further, M. P. Pandit writes "What is being laboriously attempted, dangerously pursued, and problematically achieved in Kundalini yoga can be assured in yoga, like Sri Aurobindo's, in a very natural way by throwing oneself open to divine consciousness and grace, letting it descend into oneself, and letting it decide which centers of consciousness are going to be operated upon, which one is most open and ready. It is more in the natural way of evolution to let things develop in this manner rather than having a systematized procedure."

Alice A. Bailey writes that "When this process is carried forward with care and due safeguards, and under direction, and when the process is spread over a long period of time there is little risk of danger, and the awakening will take place normally and under the law of being itself."

Swami Muktananda writes "When Kundalini awakening takes place through grace it will rise of its own accord and become established where it should be established. Kundalini will take care of herself... when the Kundalini is awakened by the grace of the guru the grace itself will guide it in the correct manner. There is absolutely no danger in such a case."

Just as a student prepares himself to sit for an examination, a seeker and aspirant on the path of Light, seeking to become another Siddha and Light, has to prepare himself with the guidance and help of his teacher. He starts by purifying his physical body, both externally and internally, correcting his diet, taking care to keep the three Dosas in their respective proportions, and simultaneously keeping his mental health under continuous surveillance and check so that it does not deviate from its course. Though a teacher is not necessary to build and maintain these virtues, one is required to teach us Asana and Pranayama. Prayer and worship to the Siddhas bring a master along in the physical form who gives us the method and the way and has the Siddhas come to us in the subtle form to monitor our internal transformations. With diligent practice subtle changes begin to take place under the supervision of the Siddhas. They set the journey within moving according to our state of body and mind. Soon we see the results. The body attains purity. The Divine comes within. The merger of energies takes place bringing calm to the rapid and turbulent waters.

Just as water transforms from liquid to gas to vapor, to the ether, the mortal frame is transformed slowly first into a Siddha deham or perfect body, which is the body of the Siddhas. Solely relying on our efforts might not produce the expected results. This attempt to achieve a perfect body is only possible by the grace of God and the guidance of those who have been there and back.

LIVING IN THE SHADOWS OF THE SIDDHAS

I had always questioned why God who is all-loving was depicted as demonic and worshipped. In bringing us the story of the origin of Karupanasamy, a devotee and medium of his tells us that Karupanasamy was assigned to bring down several Asuras or beings with demonic characters. Hence he had to become one of them to destroy them. This answers why some of the Hindu Gods are depicted with weapons and take up arms to destroy these demons. These "Avatars" return to their original Self after these battles. But man, held on to these instances of transformation and began to worship them in these forms, depicting them in arms and offering them the food they took then till this day. 

Just like there is one energy that runs various appliances, the one prime divine energy takes many subtle and visible forms. It is in the gross and the subtle. Initially, we deal with the gross and as we evolve spiritually we come in touch with the subtle. From the denser vibrations, we move on to the finest. But sadly we remain in the gross both bodily and what is worshipped. 

Man pegs God and the Siddhas and traps him in his timeline. This is the reason Tavayogi says the Siddhas are beyond time and space. Imagine then the expense of the Prapanjam and the Divine energies. They cannot possibly be contained in a vessel or space without shrinking their powers. And so we have come to be little Napoleans carrying the Buddha within. We are capable of carrying out divine acts to a certain extent. The Siddhas through their practices and lifestyle upgrade the gross body of theirs to tap into the Prapanjam and receive its full nature and state and powers. Hence they are seen performing the unimaginable. These are tagged Siddhis. This is no magic but hard work and effort.

Coming under their shadows one gets to taste a bit of these powers. But his Ego soon steps in and takes on the credit. The Siddhas then back off. But just as, people carry on worshipping the deities in the Avatar, form and role they saw, even after the deities returned to their original state and Self, people keep coming to the gurus and masters who had demonstrated these powers once, not knowing that the Siddhas or deities had backed off, and were absent. These masters thrive on their past image. 

Honesty is the cornerstone of devotion and spiritual standing. Once we lose this the Gods leave us to pay for our crimes. The Siddhas especially expect us to be honest. One lie no matter how trivial shall lead to more and more till we are branded a liar. It is a crime in their eyes to use the names of Siddhas to promote ourselves and our agenda. We should only have their agenda in our lives and execute them to their satisfaction.