I am not a scholar. I am not well-read in the sacred texts of religions. Whatever little knowledge I have was picked up from books that I either bought, were given to me, or I borrowed from the libraries, and listening to elders. I believed in them until a series of tragedies that happened to relatives and friends shook my faith. I questioned if God was for real and whether he was indeed compassionate, kind, and loving. Lord Siva came in a timely manner to ask me to go on a break, from all the puja I did at home and the temple visits I carried out as a bachelor back then, between 1980 and 1988. After 13 years, Agathiyar decided to come into my life first by giving me the Vasudeva mantra in 2001, coming through my nephew to chant, and later reading out my Nadi when I went for my Nadi reading the following year. He had me drop in on Supramania Swami, my first guru in Tiruvannamalai, the following year, when, upon leaving him after spending some precious 5 hours with him, he gave me a Siva mantra to chant. Later in 2005, I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal on my shores, who officially initiated me into the Siddha path by giving me a mantra of Agathiyar to chant, and initiated me into Yoga on his next visit in 2007. There was no turning back after that. But still, I knew little of the immense religious knowledge out there. Instead of filling me up with bookish knowledge, Tavayogi took me on a journey of self-discovery, trekking into the jungles and staying in caves. It was an experience of a lifetime that reading books would not have given me. He had me begin doing rituals backed by Agathiyar, giving me first-hand experience with them, breaking the need for a middleman. My gurus stepped aside after showing me the way and the means to continue on the path. They made sure that I did not rely on them for all my spiritual seekings. I had to discover for myself. Agathiyar would come to confirm or correct my understanding that came through from the experiences gained from these practical lessons. This applied to both Kriya and Yoga.
Today, though, I have yet to know Agathiyar, his origin, and his story, which I sought to know back then, and have yet to see him, which I desired much; I have come to accept and regard them as unimportant now. Instead, I feel his presence both around me and in me and others. My family and I get to hug him whenever he comes through another. We get to have a conversation with him. If initially, he spent brief moments with us, later he spent more time, and these days he is ever in our homes and our hearts. What else could we ask for? If someone were to contest and ask me to show evidence and proof or ask to bring him before them, I am at a loss. This is not a finding that we deduce from an experiment we carry out in a laboratory to show to others. It is not magic either. It has to be lived and seen by each individual.