I was blessed to come upon two gurus in the physical form, after learning from my parents, teachers, and whatever little experiences gained in a rather short period of existence. I met Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai when I was 43. Agathiyar later tells me that he had opened my eyes, சுப்ரமணியன் உன் அறிவு கண்ணை திறந்து வைத்தான். He had me see the world from the eyes of a student and disciple moving away from what I was familiar with and trained to see using the academic knowledge gained at school and college. He had five gurus to his credit. If Paramahansa Yogananda opened my eyes to the existence of saintly men in his autobiography, "An Autobiography of A Yogi", Supramania Swami spoke about them, his gurus. More importantly he "imported" one of his gurus Yogi Ramsuratkumar to sing along with us as Swami led me on chanting the Yogi's name. Two Shivarathri's back, the Yogi returned the favor when he brought along Swami with him and sat in listening with us to the songs of Sadhu Om set to music and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy. Last Shivarathri Bhagawan Ramana himself came after listening to these songs.
Agathiyar had previously suggested and moved me to carry out planning for our 60th wedding on the auspicious day for the gurus last Guru Purnima. He surprised us all by coming through a devotee and seeing through the whole ceremony and ritual, asking invitees to emulate us. It was truly an honor. What else can a student and aspirant ask of his guru? Just as Lord Shiva told Agathiyar that his monastic life was missing something, suggested and arranged for him to wed Lobama, Agathiyar citing the same reason, went all the way out to see us as bride and groom. Agathiyar who in 2019, spoke about a solo journey ahead telling us that the path was narrow, now wants me to be with my wife. Readers and followers of my YouTube channel would have seen a spike in the number of videos I uploaded in the past few days. The reason is that Agathiyar had asked me to share videos of the numerous messages he had previously given us. He asked me to capture the rare moments of our 60th wedding and have these videos uploaded too.
While living the man compensates where the woman lacks and vice versa. Hence the reason we are betrothed in marriage. Kavyakantha Vasistha Ganapati Muni had described his wife as a Tapa Sakhi, meaning comrade in Tapas just as Arundhati was the Tapa Sakhi of Vasistha and so were the wives of many of the rishis (Source: NAYANA, A BIOGRAPHY OF KAVYAKANTHA VASISTHA GANAPATI MUNI by Dr. G Krishna), from the original Telugu texts by Gunturu Lakshmikantam. The Siddha texts mention Siddhas taking numerous wives and having hundreds of children. Sadly I cannot furnish further details as I had given away this text to a devotee some time back. When I came to read my Nadi the very first time Agathiyar asked that I come to the worship of the Siddhas. Thinking that this message was only for me to adhere to and follow I left my family in the lurch and out of the picture or rather the prayer room to the extent that they were puzzled about what was going on behind these closed doors. They confronted me one day. When Tavayogi came over and I met him for the very first time, he surprised me by asking that I bring my family too to this worship. I took them over to the local pedham he had come to officiate and was staying later that evening. Since that day they too took up the path with their heart and soul fully immersed in carrying out puja and charity. Lord Muruga too praised them in a Nadi reading besides Agathiyar and the other Siddhas.
At http://keithdowman.net/index.html, Keith Dowman writing on the 84 Siddhas, mentions
"The greatest names amongst the eighty- four - Tilopa, Naropa, Saraha, Luipa, Ghantapa, Dombipa, etc., - were sadhu siddhas, mendicant yogins living with the people on a grass-roots level of society, teaching more by psychic vibration, posture and attitude - mantra, mudra, and tantra - than by sermonizing. Some of these Siddhas were iconoclasts, dissenters, and anti-establishment rebels fulfilling the necessary function of destroying the rigidity of old and intractable customs and habits so that spontaneity and new vitality could flourish. Obsessive caste rules and regulations in society, and religious ritual as an end in itself, were undermined by the Siddhas' exemplary free living. The irrelevance of scholastic hairsplitting in an academic language, together with a host of social and religious evils, were exposed in the poets' wonderful mystical songs written in the vernacular tongues, They taught existential involvement rather than metaphysical speculation, and they taught the ideal of living in the world but not of it rather than ascetic self-mutilation or monastic renunciation. The Siddhas are characterized by a lack of external uniformity and formal discipline."
"Under the generous patronage of the Pala Emperors in the eastern Indian empire, where the majority of the Siddhas lived, the revolution became the establishment."
"The Siddhas practiced purification, of course, but guilt was eradicated by initiation, and sin was only a failure to practice meditation and any tendency to take an extreme view. Life was an audio-visual spectacular, a dance of ephemeral energy configurations that some called Mahamaya, the female personification of Magnificent Illusion. "Live as a child lives," "the world is full of natural happiness. Dance, sing, and enjoy it!" "Enjoy the pleasures of your senses, but" and here was the crunch which distinguished the Siddha from the neurotic sensualist, "don't be attached to them. While drawing water, don't get wet."
The grand old lady Avvai too was a radical Siddha. When a temple priest apprehended her as she sat with her feet facing the inner sanctum, she replied to him asking "Show me a place where God does not exist and I shall point my feet there!" This stunned the temple priest and he came to his senses. When we were actively distributing food parcels to the homes of the unfortunate we thought that we would distribute them to devotees who turn up at the temple adjacent to the apartments for a change. Later the temple priest came up to me and apprehended me telling me that I should only distribute the food after the Nitya puja or daily puja was over for only then shall Mother Goddess see us carry out this noble act. I was stunned. Many questions rushed to my mind. I asked myself if God was working 8 to 4 or 9 to 5. If he or she was, who sees to our needs beyond these "working hours"? It was truly ridiculous. But unlike Avvai, I held my tongue not wanting to say anything.
If Tavayogi apprehended me the very first time he set foot in my home, telling me that I was living in Maya falling for his garb and thinking that he was a holy person and had me shed my hold on holy men and him and instead hold fast to Agathiyar, upon arriving at his Kallar ashram the very first time, Tavayogi brought me around showing me that even among Gurus, Maya is prevalent and traps them too. Agathiyar too in forcing me to have a Nadi reading most recently, made me understand later that the Nadi too was not exempted from the clutches of Maya. It is interspersed between the lines or rather the additional lines or explanations or narrations that are given. Knowing that I have high regard for the Nadi holding it has a Gospel and the word of God, he had me who have seen the Nadi some 56 times see through the veil of illusion that is in all of creation. I guess this is how Maya has used man to manipulate others and circumstances to his advantage throughout the ages. The Nadi is true in the hands of a genuine God-fearing or rather "Agathiyar" fearing reader. But as we become close with the guru and God we tend to throw caution to the air and lose the fear and even shed the formal respect that we once had towards them. Here is where we begin to make blunders that bring on the curses of the Siddhas. Here then begins our fall from grace. Agathiyar had pointed out previously to certain prominent figures who had fallen from grace but were still holding court in public. He tells us that he or the Gods and Goddesses have backed off. These masters are surviving on their past glamour.
Growing up we come to learn about life, taking a journey absorbing the physical world and its relationship with us. This is life we are told. But what is it worth? Its worth is measured by each according to his experiences gained in his lifetime. One only ponders and looks back at life lived in his old age if he lives to see it. Hence life that we took for granted can easily be taken away the very next moment. Where would we be then? In which realm would we be? Or do we continuously exist as silent watchers, as a part of our energy source is dispensed to live life and learn lessons from life experiences? Is this what is meant, that the soul takes rebirth or rather a new body to learn new lessons from new experiences or make good what was broken or relearn from the same experiences for adopting a lackadaisical attitude towards life in an earlier birth?
If I were to learn of all the possibilities and denominations and make myself complete it would take ages. That is what we have been doing, coming back into a body to live through these experiences. To hasten the journey and end it fast, we take on the experiences of others, as with neighbors, colleagues, community, society, and nation, through interaction with them and having relationships and bonding with grandparents, parents, siblings, relatives, spouses, family, children, and friends. If we took on the experiences of others beyond the hills and dales and in other towns and nations across the globe, through scouts and messengers in the past, these days it's through news and social media. We keep abreast with what takes place beyond yonder. As the saying goes "We are what we eat", we end up being made up of all this stuff or rather add on additional baggage that weighs us down. We fill our minds with all these happenings until memory slowly fails us and we find it difficult to recollect exactly these events and the period. We slowly lose track of these happenings as our senses begin to fail us. We are alone. Our comrades in life have passed on. Our family members too are no more. Our children and grandchildren have a life for themselves to take care of. We sit in silence often trying hard to contemplate the past memories that fail us. We just exist. One fine day the calling comes to leave all these behind. Where do we head then after this body can no longer hold the soul and retain the breath?
Speaking about my current state of affairs, the sudden bout of headaches over the past few days has disappeared. I am having phlegm expelled the moment I hit the sack and upon waking up, up till 10am. Even as he wakes me up to pen these words at 3 in the morning, I have to take a break from typing this continuous flow of words to get up from my desk to spit out the phlegm several times. The cleansing is a continuous process I believe. If people feel dizzy when upright, I wondered why I felt dizzy and why everything spun around me whenever I got into bed for several days. My pulse rate too had gone down to as low as 56 for some time. But though that was only temporary and is no longer happening, the prodding sensation in the crown of my head is still happening as usual. I get connected with the surroundings and people, bringing on a deep sense of love and togetherness.