I cannot be wrong in saying that most of us are Tuesday and Friday Hindus just as Tsem Rinpoche in his book coauthored with Elizabeth Kaze "My Journey in this Life", Kechara Media and Publications, 2021, defines as Sunday Buddhist those in the remote areas of Tibet who lead a nomadic life, tendered to herd, and not too keen on religion though. "They were Buddhist but Sunday Buddhist", he says. But one cannot blame them for they have to work, toil the soil, herd their cattle, goats, and sheep to make a living, and bring bread and butter to their dining table. At the end of a hard day's work one can imagine their battery level. But I would be doing an injustice to my gurus if I chose not to carry out worship and other practices that my gurus gave me since I have all the time in the world as I am a pensioner now. My work now would be to run my life story before me and atone for all the harm I did to myself and others before my day is up so that I do not need to come back to repay my debts.
Come to think of it I had so much time in my hands since the day I could remember. As a kid and a youth, I was practically enjoying life as it was with others. Though life was tough back then somehow I was sheltered from it and not even the rain splashes wet me. College life too was blissful. My working life too was seemingly stressless, with no deadlines to meet, and I blended well with others and vice versa and only too well with the environment. Taking up the path Tavayogi commented the same too that it all came easy to me while they had to struggle to arrive.
If in the initial years when Agathiyar in the Nadi asked that I build a temple for him, I thought that I was special and my ego inflated only to be burst by Sivabalan who accompanied the reading telling me that Agathiyar had asked 50 others before me; when I asked Tavayogi why I had only come to the path at the age of 43, he shut me up telling me to be grateful that at least I came now; when I was adorning a nine gem and jewel studded ring on my finger and a mercury or Rasamani bead on me, he had me drop wearing them telling me that we do not need it; in the initial years after Agathiyar arrived at my home in the form of a bronze statue and he had strangers drop by and listening to their problems me and my wife who began to give advise caught ourselves in the web that they had spun for themselves, and Tavayogi reprimanded us asking why we involved and not direct them to Agathiyar; when Agathiyar after sending youths over to my home to participate in my home puja which we took into the corridors of temples too, and initiating us to carry out charity bringing cheer and joy in others lives, he pulled the rug from below our feet and had me dissolve the group, some of these though painful made up for valuable experiences that I gained and learned from. The search has stopped and there is nothing further to achieve. I guess this is all that I wanted to experience in coming here this birth. I pray that I do not pick up anything to bring with me and be forced to come back to return them. Today Lord Muruga and Agathiyar have me take a backseat and watch the world go by. I am truly blessed. The next moment death comes knocking on my door, I am prepared to follow him.
In "My Journey in this Life" we read how a monk Gen Nyima who was preparing for his death reversed his decision after the Dalai Lama asked him to stay on for some more years. The former who was then frail, bent, and walked with the aid of a stick soon reversed his state putting on weight and appeared bright and youthful again after a month. "He had the ability to control his body and turn his health around through meditation." Another monk Zong Rinpoche postponed a similar plan when asked to carry out the task of finding the reincarnation of a master. In all these, it shows that one has to be healthy to carry out their tasks and fulfill their purposes. A sick man cannot enlighten another. My prayer is to leave while I am still healthy.
The story of another monk Gen-la begins with him getting up in the morning and doing his routine chores and prayers. He cleaned himself, his altar, shrine, and bowls, before attending meditation. He passed away during meditation. "When he died his body manifested healing pills for people", we read further. We are reminded that "these magical feats and achievements are not an end in themselves. Rather, they are the byproducts of a practitioner's attainments."
My father on the day of his passing asked my mother to iron out his shirt and asked that she make him some coffee, things that he did himself before. By the time she came with the coffee, he was sitting, all dressed up as if ready to "leave", in an unusual pose, in an unusual spot away from his usual chair at the doorway. He was seated in Padmasana and his pupils were gazing up. The moment my mother placed her hand on him he toppled over onto her lap. He seemed to know of his moment of passing. As for my mother, she told all those gathered at her hospital bedside that she was going to "sleep". She too knew her passing. They both accepted death. I guess this is what is called cheating death for death would expect us to fight back or flee or plead. But these souls stood strong in the face of death. I wish I could follow them. And for those who would like to come back, we read that Buddha asked to lay in the reclining pose on one's right with the right nostril closed, and left hand on the left thigh.