All this while we have tried to reach out to God in the most common places of worship that are the temples. These temple visits were introduced by our parents who took it up from their parents and ancestors before them. But as access was not given to a few at one time before, these clans and communities took to devotion to the lesser deities who they saw as more approachable and direct. Ordinary men and women who had lived and served the local community and had risen to the state of gaining the communities respect began to be worshipped. They were either warriors in battle or battled for a cause.
The story of one such man from this clan is told. Although Nandhanar's community was deeply engrossed in the worship of this village, ancestral and lesser deities, giving sacrifice and consumed meat, he wanted to step into the forbidden temple of Chidambaram and see Lord Shiva. But he was forbidden by his master and the priestly community due to the caste classification that prevailed then. His passion and yearning grew day by day that one day he gathered others too and walked all the way to Chidambaram, defying all the odds that were against him. Just as it is said that music melts the rock mountain as in Agathiyar's tale where he is challenged by King Ravana to a duel of a different kind - that of playing a musical instrument; just as the oil lamps light up and burn brightly at the King's court as in Tansen's (Tan Sen or Ramtanu Pandey) story where Tansen sings the Alaap and a certain Raaga or melody and later brings down the rain to pour heavily with another Raaga, the Nandhi that stood before Nandhanar and Lord Shiva at the temple gave way upon Nandhanar singing his heart out in devotion to the Lord residing in the temple.
Returning home to his master, he is taken to tasks for ignoring the ban on leaving for Chidambaram. He is tasked by his cunning master who knew all too well that it was an impossible feat, yet asked Nandhanar to plow the fields, sow the seeds, and to bring a yield and harvest within a period of time before he could visit Chidambaram ever again. But the divine came to take up the given chore and all those present were witness to an abundant yield overnight. Nandhanar was identified and shown to others as a saint that day. His master released his servant to become a free man. Nandhanar left for Chidambaram. If Lord Siva performed a miracle that showed Nandhanar was no ordinary man, the temple priests were made known of Nandhanar's arrival at the temple grounds and were waiting in a dream. They were told to receive and usher Nandhanar and his entourage of people from his community.
When I was a kid there was a place of worship for Maduraiveeran in the backyard of the house that we had rented the garage to stay in. I remember picking and placing flowers inside the small dome-shaped structure that surprisingly did not have any statues. When I was an infant my parents fearing that they would lose me too after losing two of my brothers earlier sought the Chinese medium who was an immediate neighbor of us. The Chinese Gods saved me from death by asking my parents to give me in adoption to them. My purging stopped immediately. Until the age of 13, I frequented the Chinese medium whenever I fell ill. He would go into a trance and strike a sword on his bare back. He would write Chinese characters onto a yellow strip of rice paper with red ink. He would burn the paper and collect the ashes in a glass of water and ask me to drink it. I was always cured. Since then the Chinese Gods too have been looking over my shoulder. At 13, I was bitten by a dog and had to go to the Government hospital for the very first time for an injection.
After we moved out from there, I had to seek the hospital for all my needs. When the deity Muneeswarar was invoked regularly in a neighbor's house some distance away from the new home we rented later, I stood afar and watched for fear as he swung his whip around. Of course, when they cooked the meat of the goat that was sacrificed I would go over then to partake it.
In later years as a teen, I could not run away from them when they suddenly began using my brother too. We knew he could not speak the Chinese language. What surprised us was that he spoke the language when they came. Though it was a small Hindu temple for the lesser deity Macha Muneeswarar, the Chinese used to frequent the temple. Hence the reason the deity spoke in Chinese. He spoke to the Chinese through my brother.
Then when I started working I came to learn more about these deities from my colleague who helped run a temple for Mariamma in an estate. He used to invite me to go over and listen to what they have to say to me or Arul Vaakku. As I feared to be in their presence, I told him that I shall come if Lord Murugan is called. The day never came for me to meet Lord Murugan. When Kaliamma suddenly came through someone while I was at another colleague's home, I could not run away. The moment she placed her palm on my head a surge of energy that felt hot passed through me and I blacked out. I found myself lying on the floor as I came around.
When my nephew found a guru for himself during his university days, he invited me and his parents over to the temple run by his guru. They summoned their Paramaguru that day. But before he came the entire entourage of deities and energies or Sakthis came first through several others. Finally, the Paramaguru came oblivious to many without making a scene. We were only aware of his arrival after being told. He spoke softly and gently. I went there to thank him for having brought Agathiyar's message to me, relaying it to my nephew several months earlier. Agathiyar used Paramaguru Gopal Pillai as a channel to convey the mantra and message to me. My nephew passed it to me one Saturday afternoon in 2001. He told me not to question the source nor share whatever that took place then. An energy traversed through him. "He" asked me to repeat the Vasudeva mantra. Reciting that mantra and worshipping a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthy that was passed on later by my nephew laid the way for me to meet my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai during my maiden pilgrimage to India a couple of years later.
The following year of 2002, I had a calling to read the Nadi having come to know of its existence some five years earlier through a Siddha physician and astrologer the late Dr. Krishnan. My life changed for the better, as I traveled taking up the calling from Agathiyar in the Nadi to come to his path. From Sariyai that revolved around the whole pantheon of Gods and Goddesses in the temples, that was introduced, shown, and inculcated in me by my parents, I came to know the Siddhas through the Nadi. I came to their worship. They then showed me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, a guru on the path of the Siddhas. He introduced me officially to Agathiyar and his worship and path and in doing rituals or Kriya. He introduced me officially to Yoga too. Finally, he set us on a quest to attain Jnana.
Meanwhile, Agathiyar too on his part introduced us to perform Abhisegam or libation to his statue in my home, besides lighting the sacrificial fire or Homam that Tavayogi had introduced. Agathiyar brought new seekers to my home after revealing himself as their guru in their Nadi readings, to watch and learn the worship of the Siddhas. Soon the Siddhars stepped into my home too. Although they never showed themselves to me nor my family they appeared to others who came by our home. Agathiyar slowly brought me to meet the lesser deities too whom I had shunned and stayed away from. He showed me their other side, that of compassion and love as opposed to the fear that they generated by their presence earlier. I began to receive them in my home with open arms.
My home took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) as the group of seekers who began to gather to carry out Siddhar Puja at my home since 2013 grew in numbers and in size. We ventured to carry out regular charity programs through the charity arm Amudha Surabhi (AS) too. Then he had me draw my fingers and close AVM one fine afternoon of September 2019. Agathiyar had me simultaneously pull the plug on AS too. He told us the reason later. He wanted us to move on and never rest on our laurels. He was extremely satisfied in having us come to worship the Siddhas and reach out to them and in having come to doing charity and reach out to the poor and hungry. Now he insisted that we moved on and not wait for others, for our journey shall then be stalled. Suddenly there was a sudden urgency in having us pick up from where we left in Yoga. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came again and again asking if we were doing the asanas and pranayama practices shown by Tavayogi. They gave us more practice. They asked if we had studied Tavayogi's books too and asked that we understand the Tattvas well. They asked that we put the brake on our activities limiting them to the essentials and learn to go within.
Three months later the Coronavirus was discovered in Wuhan, China, in December the same year. It has come to shut the world of humans down. The irony is that all else manifests and exists as usual except man's life has been jeopardized to the extent that he has to stay indoors now. Life goes on for plants and animals except for man who is now afraid to take a breath. Has man become an endangered species now? Has man specifically being targeted by the divine? Is it to teach him a lesson and place a wake-up call and reminder, to wake up from his sleep and negligence towards living in harmony with the rest of the world? Are those who are listed and fated to survive given a second chance or a new lease to bring a change for a better world, not in discovering more inventions, gadgets, etc that would simplify his needs, and others like arms and weapons that bring harm and danger in the wrong hands, but to find an amicable solution to live alongside with nature? Is this an indication to go back to the basics of nurturing and caring for the very nature that keeps us alive? The water that nourishes us, the animals and plants; the earth that grows our fruits and vegetables and grazes our animals; the air that keeps all living things alive; the skies that sustain us through its rain clouds and numerous layers that both protect and saves us from harm; and the fire and heat both external and internal that is an indication of life itself, have been jeopardized over time by man in his mad search and greed for wealth, luxuries and comfort in lives. Is it payback time for us? Have we taken too much from nature and not given back enough to it? Has the scale of balance been jeopardized? Is it time to bring a balance back to the formula? We are reminded of Lord Shiva summoning Agathiyar to bring on a balance to the world in the past. Does Lord Shiva have to send Agathiyar again to correct what has gone wrong?
In the following wonderful documentary, a "thought experiment to discover what difference we make on our planet, the answer is that the earth can get by without us but we cannot survive without the earth." It is said that it will take 200 years for the world to recover once mankind is erased from its face. And it shall take even longer to erase all traces of man-made structures from the face of the earth. "Plants and animals have scrubbed and clean up every mess we left behind. The earth cleans given a few centuries. All we had to do was to get out of the way."
When I went in for a Nadi reading in 2005 after meeting Tavayogi for the very first time in Malaysia, Agathiyar asks that I align with the local affiliate of Tavayogi's Peedham at Batu Caves to learn the path. But he also told me to get initiated that same night of the reading. This surprised both Tavayogi and me for I had already been initiated by him with my wife and several others the very day he saw us. Why would Agathiyar want me to get another initiation? But I listened and followed his directive. Tavayogi though surprised initiated me again. The moment I was initiated again, the Nadi reading that was recorded on an audio cassette that I carried with me as I had come over straight to see Tavayogi after the reading, was erased mysteriously. When I returned home that night and played it to refresh myself on what Agathiyar had said I found out that except for the introduction that was given by Nadi Nool Aasan T.Ramesh, the rest of the contents of the recording was erased. What was left was a hiss and the sound of raw empty tape being played. When I went back to him, Agathiyar surprised us by providing a rereading that had certain things added on, and others dropped. Agathiyar had modified the reading and hence my fate and destiny after I received my reinitiation that night. The portion where I was to look towards the local Peedham to learn about the path was dropped and replaced. I was now told to head for Tavayogi's Ashram and stay with him some four-five days. Many new places of pilgrimage were added on that I was to visit too. Tavayogi obliged by bringing me there. Besides, that Agathiyar arranged for Tavayogi to bring me into the jungles and caves and abodes of the Siddhas, walking on a real adventure on the path of the Siddhas. As Tavayogi put it, "Only now the real journey begins, my son."
In the following documentary, a wonderful observation and experience are shared from someone who walked the talk. George Thompson made me realize how similar we think. He relates the ancient wisdom and practices of the Tao Te Ching to the current times of the pandemic. His observations and learnings teach us many a thing.
After many years I decided to share my Nadi readings on my channel on YouTube, keeping many personal things, of course, personal. I then thought that I should reveal how the deities, Siddhas, Gods, and Goddesses came by sharing those moments in this blog. Then I thought it was time to share some rare footage of these moments too where someone thought of recording them. I compiled them and unlisted the video at https://youtu.be/f0OxkG5xF8Y This video is only for readers of this blog. Please do not share the link elsewhere or with others. Let them come to this blog and see for themselves. This video has to be watched in a larger context and only after reading these blog posts to understand how the deities manifest. If it is seen as an individual video apart from the context of this blog, people might see it in a different light.
Just as I was contemplating sharing the audio recordings that were made when the deities and Siddhas spoke to us, I guess Agathiyar decided otherwise. These conversations with God were erased. He erased all of them. How did this happen? I had transferred the earlier audio recordings that were in audio cassettes to digital. I organized these and those that we recorded onto audio Cds later, categorizing them and listing them chronologically. I linked these audios as hyperlinks to the written version. As all these audio recordings and the Nadi readings in writing were scattered in numerous external hard disks, and as there were many copies and versions of them, all these were brought together in an album that I named "My Nadi Library" on my laptop. I did the same for all the Arul Vaaku or the audio recordings of their conversation with us too. Now I had no backup elsewhere as I had moved all these files to my laptop to facilitate the process of sorting them out, tidying, and organizing them. Having done that, I completely forgot that they were still on my laptop. I had not transferred them back to the external hard disk or the cloud. When my Acer laptop sound crackled as I played videos from YouTube or when new tabs and windows were opened or when new devices were installed or recognized, and when the recordings of my readings from Kids storybooks that were told to my granddaughter over Skype were smeared by this crackling throughout the session, I tried the numerous tips given on the net. Changing the audio settings, installing the latest drivers or rolling them back, were of no avail. manipulation the configuration to did not see results. I decided to reset and install Windows fresh. Usually, I was careful before I formatted any disk, having done them numerous times, checking that I do not leave any files that I wanted behind. This time too, I ran through the folders, and finding nothing worth saving, I went ahead to reset my laptop. Oops, I only realized several days later that my Nadi folder was on my laptop. How did I miss that?
Similarly when my daughter was offered to participate in a four-month student exchange program between the two universities in Malaysia and South Korea last spring and as she prepared to go, having renewed her passport, having had a medical checkup done, and awaiting the need for the final approval from the numerous authorities that governed and gave the go-ahead in view of the ever-increasing concern over the large cases of Covid, the university and the students jointly requested for a delay in enrolling the students. Meanwhile, as we could go ahead with applying for the Visa, we arrived at the Embassy only to find out that my daughter had left her passport behind at home. She had scanned the document the night before and left it behind. She is known to be careful in all her ventures drawing up checklists and reminding each other of appointments etc. But that morning she picked up her things and left minus the passport. She did not go through the checklist again that morning. And I who always asked her, reminding if she took all her things surprisingly was silent all the way to the Embassy. She was in tears and asked me "How could I have forgotten the most important document?" I knew that this was an act that went beyond our means. We returned home to come another day. But it was a blessing in disguise. The university subsequently informed her that they shall send all the students next fall. Several days later as my daughter complained about her sight, it was diagnosed that she had to undergo a procedure. We wonder what she would have done if she were to find out about her eye problem abroad. We were thankful to Agathiyar for having stepped in. She has been listed again to go. She is all prepared to go with the green light given. She leaves next month.
When my collection of Nadi readings were erased, I did try to recover the files using tried and known softwares that I used successfully to retrieve lost files, but this time around as I had formatted and Windows had created new partitions during the reset all was lost. I took it that Agathiyar wanted me to move on and not to dwell on the Nadi readings and Arul Vaakku forever though they are the spoken words of the Gods. I guess now we know the reason why most of the sacred texts from the past were lost in time acclaimed to numerous causes. We hear that they were swallowed by the rising floodwaters. Fires had consumed others. Termites had eaten them. Others deteriorated over time. And since those said to be remaining are hidden from man's eyes, could they have been intentionally wiped out? We hear that Saint Arunagiri had written some 16,000 songs but what is available to us is merely 3,000. It is said that numerous texts were dumped into the seas. We learn from the history of China of "the purported burning of texts in 213 BCE and live burial of 460 Confucian scholars in 212 BCE by the Chinese emperor Qin Shi Huang of the Qin dynasty. This was alleged to have destroyed philosophical treatises of the Hundred Schools of Thought."
Maybe it was meant to be so. As man has to move on for his soul to experience further and progress, could we conclude that maybe these old texts hold on and bind men to the past? Just as the waters of the flowing stream and river touch a particular spot on its banks momentarily before moving on Agathiyar decreed that we come to learn and experience a thing, a subject, a teaching, a practice, etc and move on without hanging around for too long and becoming stagnated as the water in the ponds does. He knew when to start an engagement and when to end the attachment to it. He wanted us constantly to rediscover life and not settle for the pleasures that it brought. He wanted us instead to taste the everlasting bliss within that no one could take away from us, not even death!
Similarly, the Nadi readings and the Arul Vaakku were given for that period in time when we needed it most. Agathiyar broke our hold on it. He did not want us to forever rely on this means but to venture into new territories, new means, and ways to communicate with him.
If these erasures were "accidental" and unintentional, I did draw closure to many of the websites and YouTube channels I had created and maintained after coming to Supramania Swami and Tavayogi. But when someone posted a nasty piece in an Fb posting of Supramania Swami by a friend, and I happened to read it, I decided to deactivate all my social media accounts. When I informed Tavayogi during his visit to Malaysia, he asks "Why son, Let it be. It helps to spread the path." I began to immobilize and recreate from scratch all that I had erased earlier. In my days of searching, I used to read a lot and take notes. One fine day as I was clearing my stuff and my home, I dumped everything. There went all those notes I had painstakingly taken over the years. If I had them with me it would definitely fill these ages today.
All these remind me of how painstakingly the Buddhist monks would knowingly create a Mandala only to destroy it later. It was done to show the impermanence of things. When Mukunda before coming to be known as Paramahansa Yogananda was told by his guru Sri Yukteswar to wear a silver and lead astrological armlet at one time, he replied that he did not believe in astrology. But the guru explains the reason.
The stars are about to take an unfriendly interest in you, Mukunda. Fear not; you shall be protected. In about a month your liver will cause you much trouble. The illness is scheduled to last for six months, but your use of an astrological armlet will shorten the period to twenty-four days. (Source: http://www.crystalclarity.com/yogananda/chapter-16/)
Society has drawn a line between the two of us - God and man. God is revered in temples and places of worship. We have been kept away from him for far too long by protocol, rules, regulations, that were laid by its guardians. We stood our distance out of the legacy and fear that was instilled in us by others. He has now come to show us that he dwells in the most unlikely of places too - in our homes, living with us, eating with us, jamming with us, etc. As Ramalinga Adigal came into our home and told us, "உங்கள் இதயத்தை திறந்து வையுங்கள். வழி விடுங்கள்", now we need to open up our hearts and give way to him, rediscover him in the deepest and darkest chamber of our hearts.
After having reached out to him through all the various means of worship and rituals and the numerous means of communication and after having invited him to reside in our homes and our hearts we need to see him within us now. We need to see him as us and vice versa. That is the ultimate goal. That is emancipation or Mukti. One can have the most exalting mystical experiences. But that is not the end. The aim is not that of gaining Siddhis but to begin the transformation within the body identifying with each of the five elements that make up the physical body and return these elements to their rightful place in the prapanjam. If we fail in this quest we shall either end up dead and buried in the soil or dead and burned in the flames to be partly blown away by the wind and have the rest of the ash left to dissolve in the waters of the flowing rivers or the seas. If we succeed in this venture to transform the body, the prapanjam shall then abide by our wishes. We can reassemble another physical body without the need to take birth through the normal human process. This is what the Siddhas have done. This is what Ramalinga Adigal did too.