I have seen many come asking their new endeavors to be sanctioned and blessed, some even placing official papers and documents before Agathiyar. Many have sought the Nadi to help ask to make the right decisions in business matters, marriage, career, and politics too. Most of the time they had already a desire or had planned and some even executed their plans before arriving at Agathiyar. They just want Agathiyar to endorse their undertakings or wishes. Others want him to decide for them. Agathiyar off course gives the green light with a "smile". When things do not go right or as expected or they face losses in their ventures or disappointments and problems, they turn around questioning why their venture failed "when Agathiyar had given his blessings"? I too was perturbed in the past wondering why Agathiyar, if he knew that there would be problems or that the venture would fail, did not stop them on day one but at times gives them hope to carry on.
Today I have come to know that in the very place it was not the desire of the divine to engage but us but we had the desire spring up in us and in our thoughts and had contemplated on it. We only went to him for approval always hoping for a positive answer. If we had hoped for a negative answer we would not have gone to him in the very first place seeking his approval. We would have dropped the thought the moment it arose or if we thought it was not feasible. Most of the time we know that we shall face obstacles but expect him to clear it for us. We use God for our individual gains.
The desire that sprouted in us has to be lived out. It has to see the light of the day. Desires either those that are considered vasanas that are desires carried from past births that we carry as seeds in us or the newly arisen desires in the present have to be exhausted.
As my wife was engaged in looking after our new grandson and two granddaughters I figured if I should take a trip to India. I had no specific itinerary but would head for Kallar ashram first, I thought. Just about then, the Indian High Commission announced that India would open up its borders to tourists beginning November 15, 2021. I was excited. I scouted the net for tickets. But there were no direct flights and the transit flights took several hours some as long as a day, a far cry from the 3 3/4 hours it took us earlier during the pre-pandemic times. Mataji too extended an invitation to join her in the Annual Vizha that was held on 23 December 2021. Agathiyar then surprisingly told me that since I had "desired" I should go. I had missed that catchword there. Since I had "desired" in my heart he had given me the blessing. But when I came to my senses telling myself that I had all these while held to my principle not to go places even when he had asked me in the past as I already had him and in keeping with his directive to stay in solitude since 2019, I dropped the idea entirely. That is when Tavayogi came and told me that there was no need to go over as he had come over to my home.
And most recently when I had wanted to visit my mother in another state and was pondering over it, Agathiyar had the word pass on to me to go, through the deity Karupanasamy. Karupanasamy told my family that I was thinking about it but was also thinking about Agathiyar's instruction to me to stay in isolation. Ask him and he shall allow he added.
This is how it works. When we desire they give their blessings. But it is not necessary that all shall go well. But if they initiate something that is for the good of many and we take it up we shall see results and fast too. The karma that is said to be attached to both good and bad actions, the good making way for us to be rewarded later or in another birth and the bad giving us untold misery and troubles, here or in another birth, becomes nullified as it is their task that we have undertaken which was directed by them. On the contrary, whenever a thought or desire comes to us especially for our individual gains, though they might give their blessings as the desire has to be exhausted, they would only stand by us seeing that we are far from harm's way but can never give the assurance that our venture shall succeed.
Then again we should know what to ask of the divine for the divine always sanctions our wishes, be it good or bad. For it has nothing to lose. We are going to pay back for all our actions. The day we stop asking for our needs and live out a life seeking the good of others, the divine shall pave the way for a smooth journey. For instance, many have a desire to build temples. But this could be a desire of theirs. In the event, management problems crop up, they are prepared to go to court to fight it out saying that it was they who build it. On the other hand, the divine could instruct another to build one. Facing the same problem, he would happily surrender his post and leave, for he knows that he was only a tool in the hands of the divine. Any action that is attached to a desire tends to bring along its fair share of troubles and disappointments. We have to be prepared to face it.
Why do the desires crop up? It could have been carried from the past births even without a single thought from us or our liking for it now. But either these vasanas have to be burnt to dust or they have to take shape. The saints in meditation and through rituals burn them away never to arise again. But we tend to fall prey to them. When Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading told me that I need to build him a temple, as I took his word as the Gospel, I scouted around for a place in existing temples to have him placed. But the temple committees had other plans. I gave up the idea later. But the desire that came out of the idea and directive of Agathiyar had taken root. I was on cloud nine then thinking that I was the chosen one to do it. But Sivabalan who hosted these Nadi readings in his house told me not to be too excited as Agathiyar had told the same to some 50 others before me. He killed my joy that moment. But he added that if I had the resources to go ahead. In later years, it was no more a directive of theirs but had become my desire, Agathiyar said in subsequent Nadi readings that I had "desired" to build one. Did I have such a desire in my past birth that needs to be accomplished now in this birth? But as I held on only to their Holy feet, Agathiyar came to tell me in 2018 that he had tested me. I guess I had passed the test for they seem to have dropped the talk. A stranger knocks on the door to Supramania Swami's kudil and stops him from carrying out his 40 year desire to build a temple for Lord Murugan but Agathiyar instructs Tavayogi to build one. How do we fathom these plays of theirs?
My second daughter always wanted to go overseas. She was young and had a dream. As a child, she used to talk about owning a range in the American prairies. She used to put up pictures of these farmlands on her wall and look at them daily. Isn't that the secret of "The Secret"? But this was a time when even the DVD and book on it by Rhonda Byrne wasn't out. Isnt this the "Law of Attraction" too?. I guess she had to live out this desire. Agathiyar mentioned that she will go overseas, after her formal studies in 2017 to pursue further studies sponsored by the government. But that did not take off until recently. She will be returning from South Korea in the next few days having completed a short student exchange program. Agathiyar surprised us by telling us that both my wife and I came back because of a desire sown by our daughters to have us both as their parents in this birth too. Coincidently I too had karma to settle. Hence we are together.
When I read my Kaanda Nadi for the first time in 2002, Agathiyar pointed out that I had earned the wrath of others and collected karma in my past life. He gave me remedies which I did. Three years on he explains the circumstances that drove me to commit them. I needed those experiences too he told. He never spoke about it to me again pardoning me that instant. He did not see it as a sin but much-needed learning that I had to go through. It is indeed impossible to fully understand their divine play. Tavayogi told us recently not to try to compute life but to live it. It is not a maths equation to solve but to use the formula to live life. There is indeed a huge network of links of cause and effect that is in place and added on by us every moment. God has nothing to do with it. So please do not blame him. I did in the past when I had no idea about karma. I wondered why God was watching his devotees suffer. My friends and relatives suffered before my own eyes. That is when Lord Shiva decided to take me off the ground and place me elsewhere for a change. Otherwise I would have gone cuckoo. I was transferred back to my headquarters. It took 14 years later for him to come in numerous ways to deliver the messages and reveal the answers to me. I guess I had to live out my karma meanwhile.
Today even the most simple thoughts are delivered instantaneously. Just the other day as a devotee bath Agathiyar's statue with sandal paste as only four of us gathered to celebrate his Guru Puja coinciding with the one held at the same time at Kallar, before I could ask for the paste that adorned his body, the devotee had washed it away. But what do you know? She placed it on my forehead as I kept my eyes closed chanting his name. When I asked her why she did it she said she was just driven to do it. This is how close the Siddhas have moved into our lives. And it all started with their worship.