Thursday, 3 May 2018


In my last post I wrote, "What a journey! The end is still not in sight. We have a long way to go. And it all began with home prayers. Let us go on a drive to bring prayers closer to our hearts and into our homes. Prayers can move mountains and hearts. With these message the frequency of my writings will reduce henceforth, but I shall post as and when there is a need. Thank you for your following and all your support."

Then Balamurugan placed a request in AVM's Whatsapp group, "Ayya, your writings are beautiful. Pls continue writing." Others wrote in previously too.
Dear Shan aiya. I hope you and the family and the entire AVM family are very well. I only just had the opportunity to read Need for Tolerance. What an amazing piece. All of your writings are amazing but this piece resonated with me so much. I smiled in knowing as I read how you spoke to every Tom Dick and Harry about the siddhas and was met with disinterest. I know it well too happened to me so many times. I have not been on the path long  Shan aiya but you have nutured and guided us not despair. Your request to everyone to write about their journey is sage The Carl Sagen quotes about books have come up for me twice this week I know why I just don't know what to do about it. 
Dear Shan aiya. Hope you and all at AVM are very well. Saw your relieving your role within AVM. Your wish as well as Lord Muruga's is highly respected. What does it mean Shan aiya? Will we hear from you again from time to time, will your writings stop etc?. ... So sorry Shan aiya did not want to disturb you. My first thought was "silence" for you. I understand completely. I am so happy for you. Am going to miss you so much but it is going to be such an incredible, amazing part of your journey. 
extraordinary journey (on Sanjivji's journey) ..We all are indebted to the the divine blog...and the nourishment it gives to our souls in by the way  of such divine writings....Thanks a lot shan sir...sanjeev ji and to the entire team.
There were many moments when I thought of signing off and going into oblivion. But it always happens that the moment I intend to do so, I either have someone email me or tell me how they had benefited from these postings and writings making me stay on. 

To all those who wrote in asking me to continue writing, I bring my hands together and bow my head in salutation to you. I am truly grateful to Agathiyar to have kept me alive to continue writing, giving me the honor and opportunity and using me as a tool to write about him and his message; giving me the subject to write about; sending materials and important messages that needed to be shared on the blog through the AVM family; dispelling doubts and bringing clarity; bringing timely and appropriate answers and messages to readers and for giving these writings life and energy. It is all his work and doing. Nothing is mine. 

Coming to him, coming to worship him, holding on and being faithful to his league, he comes down to work on us, work on our problems, removing obstacles and clearing the path, bringing us to understand life and the reasons for taking birth, reveals our mission or gives us a new task or mission from that moment on, guides us along in seeing the task complete, and prepares all the avenues for us to accomplish the given task to his satisfaction. Upon completion he gives us a pat on the back. He then begins to shower us with rewards and gifts. I too came to the crossroad of life where I needed to decide whether to accept his gifts and hence stop the journey there and then, remaining stagnant at that stage or particular level of realization, not moving further. Or I could refuse all these tempting gifts and acknowledgement that came with a position, an honorary title, respect from the society, power, authority, Siddhis, etc. I chose to turn down all these offerings for the sole reason that I did not want to get trapped and fall further into the state of illusion or maya that has now emerged and taken on a new form, that of  these goodies and appreciation. I understood the play of Erai. I refused them for all the above reasons. This small clever and tricky mind of mine instead thought that if I was to negate and refuse Erai's gift, he would come up with another gift and yet another till he would have nothing else to give but HIM! I had him cornered! That was what I wanted. Nothing else mattered. 

Although I knew I had a choice in the matter, but when I ascertained my choice of action, I came to realize that my action in making a decision to turn down his wishes only denoted that I was still in charge and had not surrender fully to Erai, still having a desire separate from Erai and not willing to co-operate. If before this I used to think why should the saints or Mahaan's receive all the worship and veneration from the public, when they could easily put a stop to it all, I suddenly realized that if they were to stop all these forms of adoration that the public showed towards them, then it would only mean that they were still maintaining a separate identity from the divine, compelling, insisting and letting know their likes and dislikes, wants or abhorration. I then understood the reason why they refrained from stopping the devotees from performing libation on them, feeding them and showering gifts etc.

Today I very well understand that I am merely a tool and an adiyar or servant brought to do his work. The moment we drop our desires and wants we stop living for ourselves and instead live for him. We become his servant. We need only do his work. In return he takes care of us and our families thenceforth. The "I" that has lost its freedom to choose and make a choice does not exists then, its only He that exists.

I understand clearly too that when it comes to doing his work, we do not have a choice. Neither is there an option but to follow their dictates for it is their will that takes charge from thereon. When the divine order wants something done there is a reason for it. Just like the commander in a battle field or war zone, he need not provide nor explain in detail, listing the reasons for giving the command. The divine has the whole of humanity in mind and sight in all its doings unlike personal wants and individual gains that drives us to do something. He works on the whole while we work just on a tiny piece of our individual self. 

But before starting us on serving humanity he sends us off on a journey of self discovery, where we are made to lose and shed our individual identity and personal desires. We are shown things that shake the very foundation of our thoughts and opinions that we had upheld till then. We return a changed person, having dropped individual desires and personal wants. We appreciate life and begin to show our gratefulness to the divine for taking care of us well. We return with an objective and a determined resolve to bring a change to the self, in others and the world we live in. The thought to help others too begins to develop. We look for means and ways to help the society and humanity. We come out of the comfort zone and the well that we had made our home and stayed in for far too long a time. 

For all these to happen, we need to take the first step. The very first step starts below our feet and after all the pilgrimage, journey and travel it ends at the same place, below our feet. 

Sheik Muhaiyaddeen Guru Bawa, a Sufi master takes us on a step by step inner journey, a journey of discovery, armed with wisdom and the light of this wisdom. 

Know the truth and that which is in this truth,
the grace within this,
the love within this grace,
the compassion within this love,
the equality within this compassion,
the unity of life in this equality,
the radiance within this unity,
the wisdom within this radiance,
the light within this wisdom,
the god within this light,
man within god, and finally
know the god within man.

Source: The Divine Luminous Wisdom that Dispels the Darkness: God-man, Man-god by M.R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, The Fellowship Press, Philadelphia

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This blog postings are those of beginners who have taken the first step exploring the mysterious & mystical world of Siddhas. It is purely about devotion (Bakthi) and miracles. For those who think or feel that they have advanced spiritually and passed these initial, preliminary and primary stages, please reserve your comment.