20 years on in the Siddha path I am still the same person. I have my fears and anger. Neither can I drop my other weaknesses. I guess I cannot change my character. I guess that is the reason the saints too plead that the divine accept their weaknesses as their character (Gunamaaga yetriduga) and pardon them.
What is obvious is that I cannot seem to interact well with others. I seem to be an outcast in society. There is no common subject to talk about when we meet others. It is like a chicken talking to a duck. We cannot stomach their talk while they cannot comprehend us. So the next thing we do is stay away from others and live a life of a hermit. The bodily changes both external and internal force us to stay behind close doors further.
To those who asked us what did we gain in worshipping the Siddhas I say "Nothing". Off course they move away to other pastures where they can feed freely and fill their stomach to their lives desire. There are many who would list all the gains in coming to the Siddha path including gaining Siddhis, powers to heal and predict, gaining recognition and with it tremendous ego. We chose to forgo all these for his Holy Feet.
Though we gained nothing we learned to drop many a thing. When many fill their coffers', mind and thoughts with fleeting ideas and things, the Siddha taught us to empty ourselves instead. We were beaten while traveling the beaten track that the Siddhas walked upon in the past. We were stripped naked. We were pelted with stones. Standing stark naked before him today we cannot possibly imagine going back to repossess the promised power, position, authority, fame etc. We chose to move forward onto higher frontiers and the promised land.
Though they taught us humbleness they made sure we held on to the principles. They made sure to apprehend those who sway from the path. They can be harsh at times. Though the changes are not visible it is taking place within. Our perspective of life has changed. Our priorities have been drop and replaced by the divines' wishes. We have dropped the role of being a master and taken up the role of a slave. In summision to his Holy Feet we received their grace. Their grace turned us inside and out and completed the transformation.
If Acharya Gurudasan wrote a wonderful piece that was posted in the last post, another devotee wrote in after listening to the song that broke us all.
போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்
எந்தன் மாமுனிவன் பாதம் அல்லால் யாதும் பாதகம்.
Everything that we do is Maya.
Just one after another circle of Maya.
We believe that we are improving, progressing in our practice, but...
Even that is another circle of Maya.
So, what would be the best practice?...
maybe just...
living our life and enjoy the beauty of creations...
as much as possible...
while you can.
As he says to immerse in the beauty of creation is the thing to do just now. Just yesterday I sat on the swing in my father-in-laws house and watched the evening sky and the awesome colors of the sunset blend with the dark rain clouds howering above over the rows of oil palm trees that lined the hill that was an oil palm estate which enclaved the housing estate, the cool breeze of the Tamil month of Margazhi caressing us in chillness. The dark clouds that threathened to pour and send us indoors seem to understand that I was enjoying the show put on by mother nature moved on elsewhere bringing on only a light drizzle. I painted this vision over the phone to Suren in Iraq as he called me at this hour of appreciation of nature. I guess an appreciation of nature is what is needed most. Now I understand how the poets can come about with wonderful lyrics just watching nature. Poet Supramania Bharathi wrote an awesome song as he sat facing the sea one evening.
“மாலைப் பொழுதிலொரு மேடை மிசையே
வானையும் கடலையும் நோக்கி யிருந்தேன்;
மூலைக் கடலினையவ் வான வளையம்
முத்தமிட் டேதழுவி முகிழ்த்தல் கண்டேன்;
நீல நெருக்கிடையில் நெஞ்சு செலுத்தி,
நேரங் கழிவ திலும் நினைப்பின்றியே
சாலப் பலபலநற் பகற் கனவில்
தன்னை மறந்தலயந் தன்னில் இருந்தேன்.
ஆங்கப் பொழுதிலென் பின்பு றத்திலே,
ஆள்வந்து நின்றெனது கண்ம றைக்கவே,
பாங்கினிற் கையிரண்டுந் தீண்டி யறிந்தேன்,
பட்டுடை வீசுகமழ் தன்னி லறிந்தேன்;
ஓங்கி வருமுவகை யூற்றி லறிந்தேன்;
ஒட்டு மிரண்டுளத்தின் தட்டி லறிந்தேன்;
‘வாங்கி விடடிகையை யேடி கண்ணம்மா!
மாய மெவரிடத்தில்?’என்று மொழிந்தேன்.
சிரித்த ஒலியிலவள் கைவி லக்கியே.
திருமித் தழுவி“என்ன செய்தி சொல்”என்றேன்;
“நெரித்த திரைக்கடலில் என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?
நீல விசும்பினிடை என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?
திரித்த நுரையினிடை என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?
சின்னக் குமிழிகளில் என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?
பிரித்துப் பிரித்துநிதம் மேகம் அளந்தே.
பெற்ற நலங்கள் என்ன?பேசுதி”என்றாள்.
“நெரித்த திரைக்கடலில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;
நீல விசும்பினிடை நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;
திரித்த நுரையினிடை நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;
சின்னக் குமிழிகளில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;
பிரித்துப் பிரிந்துநிதம் மேகம் அளந்தே,
பெற்றதுன் முகமன்றிப் பிறிதொன் றில்லை;
சிரித்த ஒலியினில்ன் கைவி லக்கியே,
திருமித் தழுவியதில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்.”
Modern day cinema lyrists have given us some gems too.