People have become too dependent on others to the extent that even their personal search to return back to the source is dependent on someone else. As Tavayogi says man is the only creature (besides the nesting hatchling) that needs to have food shoved into their mouth and down their throat. Other animals immediately walk up to their mother and feed off her breast or her udder. Some others teach them to feed themselves from day one. At the very start of my journey itself, Tavayogi broke my dependency on a guru. He shot me down or rather my dependence and outlook to look towards another for spiritual upliftment. He crushed the seed even before it could germinate into the nature of dependency on the guru for all things. Soon he broke my hold on amulets, gemstones, and other materials deemed auspicious for material and spiritual growth. After many initial years of following him around and listening to his talks and following the acquaintance and friendship that grew between us, I deduced the inner meanings of the scolding I got. He told me he had nothing to offer or show (acts of siddhi or feats, healing, removal of karma, or the show of miracles). He blasted me saying I was in the world of Maya or illusion (thinking that godmen could perform miracles overnight to elevate us). If the sacred texts considered the world and all in it as an illusion or Maya then all things conceived and done are a product of the mind. All things seen and said have been altered by the mind. Or is it a dream as Bharathi equates in his song "Nirpathuvae… nadapathuvae… parapathuvae"? Where has the world that we awake to and watch during our waking hours gone during the many hours of sleep? Is it still existing then? How is it that we respond to our name in sleep and wake up to it? What is it that stays awake and watches over us in sleep? If the soul is said to roam while asleep how does it find its way home into this body? All these unanswered questions arise in my thoughts as I pen this post. Indeed we are so very ignorant of so many things basic and close to us yet we look beyond the horizon into the far reaches of the mind, time, and space. It would be a wasted birth if we do not comprehend any of these things before our end nears.
When many have difficulty in letting go of their hold on things that tend to take a grip on us, Tavayogi taught me through little things that caught his attention and that he mentioned in passing. In showing me three "saintly" persons in his neighborhood of Ooty, he pointed out to me that one was in a tussle for the position and authority in an ashram that had become vacant with the demise of the guru. Another was caught in rituals and the temple he ran. The third and final person we met seating alone in his tiny bedroom in a massive bungalow according to him was a Jnani. Pondering and figuring out further about this lesson I have come to understand it. He showed me that not all gurus were the same and that they too had to evolve further. Tavayogi taught me to let go and to give way by example. Starting me on a new journey of exploration into the woods, jungle, and caves in 2005 after Agathiyar introduced me to him as I was disappointed searching for a guru on the path of the Siddhas and a place to dock for further loading of information on Siddha puja, five years later he showed me rituals - the Siddha way. In 2013 he gave way to me and my family to conduct the Siddha puja during our brief stay at his ashram. In 2016 he gave way to me and the AVM family members to lead and participate in the Yagam on the ashram grounds. This made it easy for me to give way to the devotees who frequented my home to conduct libation and Homam. It made it easy for us to bring him into the homes of the devotees who invited him over for several days. Finally, while the whole world was rejoicing in celebrating Agathiyar's Jayanthi recently my family had to shut the doors to AVM and leave home to attend to urgent family matters in our hometown. But the most loving Agathiyar provided for me to participate in a small puja for him carried out in Sri Raghavendra's Mrithiga Brindavanam a short distance away. I learned to leave my dependence on his Murthy or idol too. Tavayogi, Supramania Swami, Ramalinga Adigal, and Agathiyar helped me transform gradually over time. This transformation has to take place first physically and within. Only then can for instance the ordinary ash or vibhuthi applied on us become sacred, the ordinary water in the vessel become sacred when we chant a mantra into it, or the ordinary painting, stone, or metal image of Gods and Goddesses become the portal for time travel with puja and libation. Only when we transform within and without, dropping everything and letting go, the ordinary become potent tools in our hands to heal or elevate another. He then becomes a true messiah, missionary, messenger, and tool of God. God walks in him and acts through him henceforth.