KASI

When I stopped to fill the fuel tank in my car recently at a petrol station, an attendant walked up to me to assist. He was a foreigner from Bangladesh, a Muslim by faith. Out of the blue, the young man told me to go to Kasi and explained the route telling me it was not difficult. This surprised me. It surprised me further as it came from a Muslim. A couple of days ago when I went to return a kitten, belonging to a neighbor, whom I found in my garden as it looked sickly, the young man too out of the blue asked me if I had been to Kasi. He was a Malay and a Muslim by faith. This made me wonder if it was a call to go over?

I have not been to Kasi. My brother with his family, my sisters, and my nephew have been there to carry out rites in the past for those loved ones who have passed away. Tavayogi called me from Kasi some years back telling me Agathiyar had instructed him to go there. As his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar was from Kasi, Supramania Swami shared his desire to see Kasi but his age and state of health did not favor the long trip. He never went. 

When we are living life joyously, the sudden news of the death of someone related to us or whom we knew momentarily brings us to realize the impermanence of life or rather this physical body. But we tend to go back to doing our business as usual after several days. But going by the many documentaries and videos made in Kasi, death is a daily affair where people simply come to die. I guess for those living here as it is a daily thing they have become accustomed to death. 

Shantanu Moitra, not able to accept the sudden passing away of his father due to Covid, travels the full length of the Ganges from its source to the Bay of Bengal, bringing us the sights and sounds of the river and its people. He returns a changed man. His perspective of life and death had changed. 

We are all a Buddha. We are no less than the other person. If one is seen as a saint, guru, or master, it is just that he has taped into his resources and energies and with divine grace arrived at the understanding and begins to see himself as one. We too are capable of achieving the same. This is what and where the Siddhas bring us to. Agathiyar has told a couple of devotees that they too were gurus in their own right and not to seek further. He added that the knowledge learned, earned, gained, and gifted had to be transferred to others. This is how each and everyone helps the other evolve besides making personal strides on the path. The Siddhas too did the same, bringing many to the fold. Looking through the books and the net we come across the names of Siddhas who made it into this long list. They are then worshipped by seekers, aspirants, and devotees. Just as one has to touch the feet of another to progress further in any discipline, the disciple comes to the guru or vice versa and pursues a lifelong journey of discovery. Initially being a seeker and searching the globe, he comes to settle at the holy feet of his guru and besides learning from him, imbibes his energy. While Tavayogi without announcing did wonders that brought on miracles and changes in me, Supramania Swami gifted me the merits of his 40 years of Tavam and Tapas or austerities. Later Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal carried on with these wonders that brought awe and wonder in us. This is the difference between academic and spiritual studies. 

Just as the monk who spent years learning from his guru in the monastery atop a mountain is told to go down to the village to spread the teachings, just as Guhai Namachivayar sent away his disciple Guru Namachivayar to Chidambaram, Tavayogi upon completion of his tapas in the caves and jungles was asked to look up a place known as Agathiyar Vanam in Kallar by Agathiyar and start an ashram. Later he was asked to come over to Malaysia to spread the word. With his coming, we gained a guru and were gifted with the teachings of the Siddhas. 

Would I be going over to Kasi? Only Agathiyar knows. Maybe it would fulfill Supramania Swami's wish. 

MUSIC TO THE EARS

When I went for my morning walk and later stepped into the restaurant to break my fast yesterday, the manager who was from Karaikudi, India out of the blue said to me that one should have a liking for what he does. Hours later when Ratnam, our friendly neighborhood pest controller came over to my home for a routine check, he too said the same. But on a sad note, he told me in his profession he had killed many tiny lives. I told him what my wife said and held to. If it is a pest it needs to be rid off. Otherwise, it would do much harm and damage to life and property. Indeed a mosquito bit my daughter and a year later bit me that had us both warded for days in the past. It is easy for the masters and gurus to live by the principle of "Jeeva Karunyam" or love for other beings for they own nothing except the robe that they adorn.

It is also equally difficult to hold on to the principle of non-interference. If a car was to knock into our baby or kid, would we just watch? If a home was burning down would we just watch? If someone was drowning would we just watch? If someone had fallen off a building or cliff would we just watch? If someone attempted to commit suicide before our own eyes would we just watch? This is where we have a choice either to interfere or otherwise. Which would you choose? My brother who adopted the principle of Ahimsa, not willing to kill a life, would blow away the mosquito when it landed on him. But it was a different story after he had a child. He too began to hit them when he had a newborn baby. Just imagine if all the doctors were to lay down their tools not wanting to interfere with man's fate. I strongly believe that God comes as doctors and nurses to help mankind, just as saints do.  What if the firefighters too stopped to just watch the fire engulf the buildings? Hence there are many in many sectors that provide service and strive for the upliftment of the living standards of man. While they do these as a profession and as work, the saints on the other hand bring upliftment to our souls, doing it out of love. They have us work on us. 

I used to walk by beggars in the past without dropping a dime. It never occurred to me to help them. It never occurred to me that they were hungry. I was not touched by the plight of others. I was in my own world. Though we were not well off, we never went hungry. There was always the coconut meat that I would scrape off its shell and appease my hunger, after finding nothing else to eat in the kitchen. But coming to the Siddhas my heart opened up after Tavayogi and Agathiyar asked us to carry out charity and feeding. All the initial acts of helping others brought their plight to our attention and we slowly began to connect and share their troubles. Compassion slowly blossomed in our hearts. I believe if I was purposed to improve the lives of these unfortunate souls, Agathiyar would have had us at AVM and Amudha Surabhi carry on with our activities and service to others. But I have come to figure out that my mission was something else that Agathiyar has yet to reveal, for he had me stop this phase of Karma Yoga and focus on the next stage that of Raja Yoga, taking care of the body and the Self to know the Self within. Today I cannot stand to see the plants wither in the summer heat. Ramalinga Adigal sings that he is saddened seeing the crops wither in the heat. If I used to chase away cats in the past, these days I cannot bring myself to see kittens that are ever playful fall sick. I guess I am beginning to connect and am touched by these souls rather than seeing them as mere names and forms as I did earlier. Agathiyar used to say that he only addresses our souls. 

Speaking about the magic of music in the YouTube series "Songs of the River", Shantanu Moitra learns that the singer Bombay Jayashri has been caring for children with autism for some 17, 18 years, using music to heal their souls. Expecting the audience to sing words of praise as usual after one of her shows, Jayashri was taken aback when a kid walked up to her and told her repeatedly that she had sung wrong which hurt her. She came to know the next day from his mother that he had autism. True to what he had said when she received the recordings of the show later she saw the mistakes she had made without realizing it. She says that that boy Prakash that day actually cared for her performance. This changed her perception of many things she tells Shantanu. "Then one thing led to another. My student Abhinaya and I spoke about it." She told her student Abhinaya, "Maybe we could share music with children who are inclined towards music." They started visiting schools where they had special children and singing for them. She tells us that she has been doing it for about 17, 18 years (at the time of the interview).

Later I came across a documentary "America's Musical Journey" that spans the whole origin and evolvement of American music. Here too we are told that children with autism who have trouble connecting with anyone connect with music better than with people. "Music has a profound power. And today doctors are finding out that music is a powerful tool that helps kids with autism. Words are a challenge for children with autism. They often find music easier to understand because music is processed by a different region of the brain", says Morgan  Freeman.

Similarly, my daughter pointed out that those who stammer to speak, sing wonderfully though because they use a different part of their vocal cord. I told her that a short film was made that spelled out the same. 

On our homefront, watching what had transpired over the years at AVM, we realized the power of songs and music to bring down the Siddhas and deities and bridge both worlds.

Indeed music is known to pacify and calm us. My pulse has dropped to 55. Then I learned from watching a documentary that the pulse of animals in hibernation beats only three times in a minute to conserve energy. I guess Agathiyar in having me slow down also slowed down my pulse. I cannot retain anything or rather nothing stays for more than a moment in my mind. It is lost the next moment after it arrives in my ears. I do not hold anything in me. It is like a blank space with nothing written permanently or in permanent ink and I have nothing to think about. Am I losing my mind? Is it good or is it a medical problem or is it due to my aging? But though it is obvious that I am aging, it is equally obvious that I am growing new hair in the bald patches I had on my head in the past. My hair is turning black. How does one explain that? Agathiyar in coming through a devotee brushed my hair and pointed this marvel to those gathered asking what else he should do to make people believe. My sexual urges are high and I still enjoy sex with my wife. Agathiyar now wants us to get married again during the coming Guru Purnima. He wants us to be dressed in our marriage attire and have family and friends around. I am no monk or mendicant. I shall be a family man till my last days says Agathiyar. Using us as standing proof, Agathiyar wants us to show his children that his devotees should get married and stay married, erasing and alleviating the fear in many that the Siddhas would break up the party and the relationship between husband and wife and force them to take the path of a mendicant or Turavi. My guru Supramania Swami too lived with his family till his last days attending to his Tavam. One could ask how it is that Tavayogi instead became a Turavi. Tavayogi voluntarily chose to take up the path after regaining his eyesight. He wanted to repay Agathiyar for the gift of sight that he lost in his 20s. He turned a Turavi as promised when he turned 50.

THE JOURNEY PART 2

I continue from where I left, having left to send my daughter to work and stopping over at a park for my morning walk and to break my fast, having my breakfast before returning home. 

The pain that began in the lower back used to travel to the right groin and at times to the left, the testicles, the buttocks, the back, the neck, and the head. Initially unsure if it had anything to do medically and to ascertain whether I had some medical problem, I used to consult the doctors. Agathiyar assured me that it was all part of the process of transformation. The pain was always manageable, with Agathiyar brushing aside my complaints and having me not give much attention to these moments. 

The severity of the tug in my lower back and the excruciating pain that forced me to squat on the floor, bringing me to my knees, and had me crawl out of my shower after I had forcibly cleared my throat as I brushed my teeth in 2011, came on again with a sneeze in 2018, bringing me to halt in my footsteps in the middle of the street. I drove myself hard to drive back home. If the mild pain that came on in 2016 went away on its own, Lord Muruga had to come through a Nadi reading and simultaneously come through a devotee to heal my back in 2018. 

In 2022, Agathiyar breaks the bunds and releases the energies that had ponded at the Manipuraka having it traverse to the higher regions swiftly. After lying as a corpse from the neck down and witnessing this phenomenon, which began after I felt a tug, some two fingers down the belly button, it created a swirling feeling that over the next few days stayed at numerous camps en route to the summit at the crown of the head where it stayed on for days. Soon a feeling that of the blossoming of numerous petals was felt at the crown that brought joy and bliss within. Soon I could connect with the bliss that prevailed in the air and the surroundings, often literally lifting me off the feet just as in the moments the divine energies of the Siddhas came within me to speak and walk our home. 

After witnessing and experiencing all these phenomena that were beyond our understanding, when I asked him what I should do further, he told me "Do Nothing. It (the energies) will do their work." 

And so he led me to another phase of the journey where after engaging actively in Karma Yoga, including carrying out rituals and puja, and charity, and engaging with Raja Yoga, bringing discipline and attention to the physical body and the breath, he then had us drop everything and brought us to still the mind sitting in solitude, alone and doing nothing. If in the first two, we were actively engaged and focused on our efforts, sitting in silence which did not need any effort on our part, brought composure and peace within. Soon though we were aware of the happenings, noise, and sounds around us, it was not important nor did it interfere or justify the need to rise or interfere. 

These days I spend much time with my(Self). I spend much time in the company of my Self. It is in these moments that the subjects and the words come rushing within prompting me to leave whatever I am doing to note and later develop these writings. I too am learning for sure with you, the readers of this blog, as we all travel this path that the Siddhas took way back in the very past. Our efforts in learning never fail us. It comes in handy in our times of need. At times it's an asset to us. We shall appreciate God, the creator when we follow the findings revealed in nature documentaries. It is truly amazing what nature and creation teaches us. 

When my elder daughter broke her leg; when another daughter was found to have retina detachment and had dengue fever earlier; and when I had dengue fever too; and when my wife had to remove her gall bladder; and when we all had Covid recently, Agathiyar came and stood beside us assuring that all shall be well. It was because we had come to Agathiyar and held on to him that we stood strong in the face of challenges. 

Watching the end credits of the movie "Varnashramam", the saying of Dr. BR Ambedkar that goes as follows "If caste was to determine and take hold of society, let the breeze that blows bring on the poison", "சாதிதான் சமூகம் என்றால் வீசும் காற்றில் விஷம் பரவட்டும்" truly jolted me off my seat, seeing the intensity of the hurt and anger he had against the practice of the caste system. Ramalinga Adigal and later Supramania Bharathi too tried to break our hold on this. Does not his prayer, "Let the breeze that blows bring on the poison" remind us of the recent COVID that threatened us all? These words remind me of the time I told my family "Let the world be wiped out" when we read and heard about the atrocities that man did and are still doing towards another. But my daughter who was pretty young then told me "Appa, don't wish for that for I have not lived my life fully." She had her reasons, purpose and a life to live. 

THE JOURNEY PART 1

When we begin to walk the path of the Siddhas, we unknowingly have embarked on a journey within that of a total transformation in all sense. The calling came in 2001 mysteriously through my nephew who was affiliated with a temple and a guru during his university days in Penang. Keeping it a secret initially, I soon came to know a year later that it was a calling from Agathiyar through his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai who came through a devotee. Agathiyar's message, the Vasudeva mantra that he gave me to chant, and the directive to observe the upcoming Navarathri puja were delivered to me by him coming through my nephew. I had refrained from all forms of practices, home and temple worship, reading, and discussions which I had embarked on after leaving my home to begin working in 1980, after Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and asked to keep the questions and doubts that had disturbed me mentally to another date. Agathiyar kickstarted the cycle again. Agathiyar threw a gift telling me that I would meet my guru mysteriously, after preparing myself to meet him through these practices.

In making it known to me of the ever-mind-boggling and mysterious Nadi through my colleague during one of our casual chats at the office, he moved me to seek my Nadi too. Agathiyar made the calling to come to his worship and that of the other Siddhas and deities in 2002. Agathiyar kickstarted the cycle again but from another platform, that of the Siddhas.

Agathiyar as promised showed me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in 2003 as I embarked on my maiden pilgrimage to India. Agathiyar had directed me to carry out remedies for my past mistakes. In 2005 he brought Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores and another wonderful guru-disciple relationship blossomed concurrently. Agathiyar sends me to his ashram to learn more, a month after his return to India. Agathiyar, asking Tavayogi what he would gift me, has him take me on a walk to his abodes, caves, and temples, giving me my first astounding miracles. Speaking about these in a later Nadi reading, he promises to show me more on this soil. He kept his promise to this day. 

The moment we embarked on this journey of discovery, unknowing to us we had set an internal transformation in motion. The sights and sounds that we discover in traveling to these places and the experiences we gain trigger the start of the journey within. Just as we cleanse ourselves externally by dipping in the holy waters, our internals go through a process of purification by carrying out worship or puja and charity. The Yoga Asanas and Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi showed us and which we put into practice beginning in 2007, saw fruition in 2011. Unknowing to me, the practice had triggered the energy that drives us all, and all of creation, to move into other frontiers. This energy that drives us to move and perform our daily routines each day, and that returns to base camp at the Muladhara to hibernate at the end of each day, began to travel to higher altitudes. I would collapse and wring in pain, my torso involuntarily twisting and turning as a snake beaten up. But as Agathiyar came to brief, the pain was indeed blissful. Still traveling it takes a break, residing in the numerous camps on the way up. Traversing Svadhisthana it gave rise to an acute pain in the lower back that was akin to the symptoms from sciatica. I had to endure and live with this pain during the years 2011 and 2012. Agathiyar in a surprising manner brought relief from this excruciating pain when the physiotherapist had me perform the exercises she had shown me before her. I felt a knot released in this exact spot that had me crying aloud in joy. Agathiyar asked that I halt all my practice. Arriving at Manipuraka the energy began to pond. In 2020 Agathiyar revealed this after I practically laid on the bed like a corpse. Except for being aware in my head of all that was going on, felt, and seen, I was numb and "dead" from the neck down. I had the experience of how it would be to be dead as a doornail. 

To be continued.

(As I have to send my daughter to work)

RETURNING TO SCHOOL

We tend to bring the manner and approach in which we deal with the material world when walking on the spiritual path too. For instance, we might have gone to numerous doctors but nothing seems right. Finally, we might be cured by one and shall sing his praise. But we forget that all the previous doctors and medication had done some good (or bad) before the last attempt. This last doctor to treat us gets the name. So is it with the spiritual field. We might condemn the earlier masters and praise the one we are with now not acknowledging that they had a hand in our spiritual development. I met a Malaysian who went in search of masters on the path of the Siddhas during my visit to Tavayogi's Kallar ashram in 2013. After 25 years of search, he arrived at Kallar ashram and was singing the praise of Tavayogi. But when he began to open up about his previous stays in numerous other ashrams and about their masters, condemning them, I knew that it would not take long for him to say the same of Tavayogi when relationships were to turn sour. He should have been grateful that the earlier ashrams and masters had given him (free) food and shelter during his travels. True to what I expected, he did not stay long at Kallar but eventually returned to Malaysia. This is the nature of man. He is never grateful for the things in life. Bringing me momentarily to share whatever practices and methods I adopted with others about puja and rituals and Yoga, Agathiyar had me carry out certain drastic measures that might have caught others by surprise and angered them. But I carried on with the directives of Agathiyar who knows best. I would rather please him than others. The master goes on with his work never letting the views and opinions of others deter his journey. 

The atheist father of the devotee who passed away several days ago, though he held to his beliefs, never stopped the Siddha puja his daughter arranged to have in their home in 2016. Tavayogi presided over the event. But he excused himself in a gentlemanly manner and went for a walk just as we were about to start. 

Knowing that he sang well I requested him to sing when my wife and I visited his home. He had his daughter bring out his harmonium which was stored away for a long time. It had collected dust. He dusted it and began to sing the songs of Ramalinga Adigal. After many years of abstaining from singing in public, he took up our invitation to sing at a temple where we conducted a Siddha puja later. I was truly won over by him for though he held to his beliefs he accommodated our wishes. After his death, the funeral was carried on minus the usual rituals just as he had wished for. When we have Godmen who under the garb of religion and spiritualism harm others, here was a soul who led a decent and honest life, upholding his principles till his last breath, and above all not harming anyone. Agathiyar came in a Nadi reading for one of his daughters later and revealed that he was accepted in the fold of the Siddhas. Agathiyar had accepted the manner his last rites were carried out too. We need to learn a lesson here where events unfolded before us that brings us to compare the devotee who searched high and low for Agathiyar as mentioned earlier and this soul though an atheist who was accepted by the Siddhas. Indeed God and the Siddhas do not differentiate man nor alienate him for his principles and beliefs. God accepts every one. He is all forgiving, unlike man. So we're here to re-learn the traits of God with whom we were once together. Over time, we have forgotten our relationship and bond with him over numerous births. Now we have to be reminded to fit into his mold again. We have to return to him or rather return to become Godly in all manner.