I continue from where I left, having left to send my daughter to work and stopping over at a park for my morning walk and to break my fast, having my breakfast before returning home.
The pain that began in the lower back used to travel to the right groin and at times to the left, the testicles, the buttocks, the back, the neck, and the head. Initially unsure if it had anything to do medically and to ascertain whether I had some medical problem, I used to consult the doctors. Agathiyar assured me that it was all part of the process of transformation. The pain was always manageable, with Agathiyar brushing aside my complaints and having me not give much attention to these moments.
The severity of the tug in my lower back and the excruciating pain that forced me to squat on the floor, bringing me to my knees, and had me crawl out of my shower after I had forcibly cleared my throat as I brushed my teeth in 2011, came on again with a sneeze in 2018, bringing me to halt in my footsteps in the middle of the street. I drove myself hard to drive back home. If the mild pain that came on in 2016 went away on its own, Lord Muruga had to come through a Nadi reading and simultaneously come through a devotee to heal my back in 2018.
In 2022, Agathiyar breaks the bunds and releases the energies that had ponded at the Manipuraka having it traverse to the higher regions swiftly. After lying as a corpse from the neck down and witnessing this phenomenon, which began after I felt a tug, some two fingers down the belly button, it created a swirling feeling that over the next few days stayed at numerous camps en route to the summit at the crown of the head where it stayed on for days. Soon a feeling that of the blossoming of numerous petals was felt at the crown that brought joy and bliss within. Soon I could connect with the bliss that prevailed in the air and the surroundings, often literally lifting me off the feet just as in the moments the divine energies of the Siddhas came within me to speak and walk our home.
After witnessing and experiencing all these phenomena that were beyond our understanding, when I asked him what I should do further, he told me "Do Nothing. It (the energies) will do their work."
And so he led me to another phase of the journey where after engaging actively in Karma Yoga, including carrying out rituals and puja, and charity, and engaging with Raja Yoga, bringing discipline and attention to the physical body and the breath, he then had us drop everything and brought us to still the mind sitting in solitude, alone and doing nothing. If in the first two, we were actively engaged and focused on our efforts, sitting in silence which did not need any effort on our part, brought composure and peace within. Soon though we were aware of the happenings, noise, and sounds around us, it was not important nor did it interfere or justify the need to rise or interfere.
These days I spend much time with my(Self). I spend much time in the company of my Self. It is in these moments that the subjects and the words come rushing within prompting me to leave whatever I am doing to note and later develop these writings. I too am learning for sure with you, the readers of this blog, as we all travel this path that the Siddhas took way back in the very past. Our efforts in learning never fail us. It comes in handy in our times of need. At times it's an asset to us. We shall appreciate God, the creator when we follow the findings revealed in nature documentaries. It is truly amazing what nature and creation teaches us.
When my elder daughter broke her leg; when another daughter was found to have retina detachment and had dengue fever earlier; and when I had dengue fever too; and when my wife had to remove her gall bladder; and when we all had Covid recently, Agathiyar came and stood beside us assuring that all shall be well. It was because we had come to Agathiyar and held on to him that we stood strong in the face of challenges.
Watching the end credits of the movie "Varnashramam", the saying of Dr. BR Ambedkar that goes as follows "If caste was to determine and take hold of society, let the breeze that blows bring on the poison", "சாதிதான் சமூகம் என்றால் வீசும் காற்றில் விஷம் பரவட்டும்" truly jolted me off my seat, seeing the intensity of the hurt and anger he had against the practice of the caste system. Ramalinga Adigal and later Supramania Bharathi too tried to break our hold on this. Does not his prayer, "Let the breeze that blows bring on the poison" remind us of the recent COVID that threatened us all? These words remind me of the time I told my family "Let the world be wiped out" when we read and heard about the atrocities that man did and are still doing towards another. But my daughter who was pretty young then told me "Appa, don't wish for that for I have not lived my life fully." She had her reasons, purpose and a life to live.