HOLD ON, DON'T GIVE UP

The past few days we had been left in a state of grief and shock, saddened by the sudden turn of events and the hands of fate playing a tragic game in the lives of several devotees including Sivakavin from Chennai. Sivakavin and several others Right Mantra Sundar, Navaneeta Krishnan, Senthil Kumar, Kumar and Santhakumar were involved in a tragic accident while on their way to Sathuragiri, near Madurai last Saturday. Right Mantra Sundar and Navaneeta Krishnan passed away. The others were warded. I came to know of the shocking news from a friend in the Agathiyar Arul Alayam Whatsapp group. We at AVM express our condolences to the families of the bereaved. We are praying for the fast recovery of the rest who survived.

I met Sivakavin at Kallar Ashram last December. He had also come to participate in the Agathiyar Jayanthi and Guru Puja celebrations. Subsequently we spoke through Whatsapp. Sivakavin was mooted to start a Whatsapp group similar to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia in Chennai. Within days he met up with the members of the newly formed Agathiyar Arul Alayam Whatsapp group, at the Pancheshti Sri Agatheeswarar temple on the outskirts of Chennai. Within weeks they ventured to climb to the peak of Pothigai and had a wonderful darshan of Agathiyar. Sivakavin used to keep me posted and updated. As usual the day before his travel to Sathuragiri with his friends, he called me with the same enthusiasm and excitement, to inform me that he was going to Sathuragiri again.

Many questions arise each time a disaster takes place in the lives of those dear and close to us, our family and friends, that threatens to shake the very faith and belief of ours. How do we explain these happenings?

A young man who made my first Nadi reading possible, and who was devoted to Agathiyar, took it upon himself and with some close friends and family, to raise 42 orphaned children as his own, besides his two kids. He died a tragic death in a freak accident, as a result of third degree burn wounds, some years back. I only came to know of his demise many years later.

My brother in law's sister in law was hit by a vehicle while crossing the road after halting a cab. It happened right in front of a temple. She had just worshipped there moments ago. Her husband turned an atheist that day for he could not accept that fate had a hand in it.

Soon I lost my brother in law too. He was healthy for his age. He complained of stomach pain; was operated on; went into coma and passed away, all within a day. I prayed that he should recover but my prayers were not answered, in his case.

Bala Chandran had a mishap hours after having a Nadi reading. One would wonder why Agathiyar did not caution him about fate's hidden hand in his Nadi; why he was not forewarned about the accident that was to take place soon after he left. But Agathiyar did mention in a later Nadi reading that he was on hand to save him from falling and sustaining further injury.

Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal while riding a bike, was knocked down by a bus that overtook him, just days after the Guru puja some years ago. I could not accept it and questioned Agathiyar. Tavayogi was under medical care for more than a month. After he recovered I asked him why it should happen to him, someone who has given his life in service to Agathiyar. He replied coolly that he too had to receive and go through the beatings of karma. 

It is during these moments that we tend to take hold of our thoughts and re-evaluate our stand and belief. No matter how long we ponder and think, we do not have the answers. Although we are told about karma and having to pay our dues, in actuality it is a bitter pill to swallow. The only solace is the kind words of the family and friends and their concern in these moments of sorrow. No amount of reasoning and explanation will ease the pain that the families go through right now.

We have lost many loved ones along the way; we have seen our fair share of troubles, sufferings and illness; we have stood and watched loved ones fight and combat their illness; and we have seen dear ones losing the battle too. To these souls all the doctrines and philosophical words would not matter. What matters is the problem on hand; wanting relief and a way of escape.

The Buddha made a woman who had just lost her child understand that she was not the only one who had lost a dear one, in a very subtle way. Read about it at http://theunboundedspirit.com/death-is-inevitable-a-buddhist-short-story/

Dr Krishnan had mentioned to me how the general public and the common man shunned and shivered at Saturn's or Sani's transit. He says rather than fear Saturn people must learn to see it positively since Saturn creates opportunities for one to hasten the burning of his karma and eventually make headway and speedy progress, bringing him closer to Erai.

Msgr. Charles Pope writes at http://blog.adw.org/author/cpope/,

And those who seek union with God must realize that such union, while always the gift of God, requires process, often painful, that must pave the way for that union. For, if a box is filled with sand, it cannot be filled with gold dust. The sand must be emptied, the vessel cleaned, and then there is the room for the Gold of God’s presence.

Tavayogi had already cautioned me, on several occasions, that one on the Siddha path is put through trials and tribulations; has to be prepared to face the full force of karma and that the Siddhas would test our faith and belief through these multiple tests of our perseverance and handling of the trying times and situations. The seeker after paper money, and the one seeking enlightenment - each has to go through ups and downs; bliss and sorrow; success and failures; in varying intensity according to the extent of their karma and their inherent desires and wants.

In the next stage, the illuminative way,

The mind becomes more and more enlightened (illumined) to spiritual things and the practice of virtue.

For those seeking Jnanam; wanting to end this cycle of birth and rebirth; and those identified and "claimed back" by the Siddhas, he/she has to settle his entire score of karma accumulated over the past seven births in a matter of years of their present life. One can then imagine the intensity of the sufferings and toll on his/her health and well being; beginning with the purgative stage, purging the physical body and mind of all toxins and unwanted stuff and gaining mental clarity, respectively. Then moving on to the illuminative way and finally attaining the unitive way.

This the way of those who have their minds detached from temporal things such that they enjoy great peace, and are not agitated by various desires nor moved to any great extent by sinful passion. Having been largely purged of these things, they have their minds fixed chiefly on God. It is called “unitive” since at this stage, there is a union with God by love and the actual experience and exercise of that love.

I had always wondered how it must have been for Ramalinga Adigal who went through the process of transforming his physical body into that of light body. Adigal had spoken about this transformation in his Arutpa songs. I wanted to see a living guru go through this. When I came to know Tavayogi he was already a turavi or mendicant. I told him that I would like to see him attain the body of light just like Ramalinga Adigal did. Tavayogi told me he would not attain it in this life and that he too would have to come back. Then came along a soul who having lost a dear one, turned her attention to spiritual matters to fill the emptiness in her. Keen to know about Agathiyar, she ends up at Kallar Ashram. There she has a wonderful encounter with Agathiyar who had waited for her, over the years, to turn up. Her spiritual life rocketed to unimaginable heights within a short period of time since that fated date with Agathiyar in 2011. In 2014, she was placed in isolation for the Siddhas to do their work on her. It is amazing how Agathiyar claimed her to do his work in the future. My desire to see a Jnani take shape is being fulfilled through her.

Several times I had to re-evaluate my wish to attain Jnanam; whether I really wanted it; seeing the intensity of the cleansing and moulding process done on her physical, mental and spiritual bodies, in preparation to receive Erai. I could now understand why there were long periods of disappearance in the lives of saints before they re-emerge to carry out their given mission.

Life has been a mystery and will always be. As Sanjiv said, "Guess it's a journey which the soul goes through... and we do not know even an iota of what this journey actually is."