Dr. VN Jayapalan in his meditation was told about the origin of Agathiyar's temple at Agasthiyampalli. He released an audio Cd of it subsequently. Suren who dropped in on him at his Ashram in Bangalore brought me a copy. This temple is said to be built by the king of the Kubera Naadu who was relieved of his karma which took a form and stood before him as he repeated Agathiyar's name. The irony is that when an old man approached him earlier at his palace and offered to feed him in times of famine, he sent him away. Later his subjects rushed to this man who had pitched a shed on the edge of the king's kingdom and was seen to worship a Muni whom they came to know later was Agathiyar. But the famine drove the king too to him eventually and he was relieved of his karma. This king build the very first temple for Agathiyar in this Kali-yuga we are told.
We are told that when we are ready the guru arrives. The Atma that is veiled draws the curtain and shows itself once an awareness comes within us that we are not in charge of our lives. The "I" that reigned over us and conducted us accordingly, has to surrender to the divine forces. The veil is then drawn aside and we get to know our Atma. The Atma works on removing our karma showing us the means and the way. Karma has to give way to the guru. The Paramatma that took residence in us as the Atma shows us to our guru in the physical form. The guru in turn shows us the Atma. It is as if the guru shows the deity and the deity later shows us to the guru. The Atma in us does the preparatory work to receive the guru. The Atma sets us on a course to know the Paramatma later.
As long as we are engaged with the world we shall never know the Atma. To know the Atma one has to go within. Hence the reason Agathiyar had us stop all forms of Sariyai and Kriyai. He had us stop puja and charity telling us that others shall come by to continue it. He wanted us to let go of all our activities and go within. Hence I was disturbed and felt helpless when the recent floods hit the homes of many including friends and relatives. I called them though to enquire and keep tabs on the situation. I was in a dilemma. We had served the unfortunate for many years beginning in 2013 till Agathiyar brought an end to it in 2019. We know their pain. When news of close ones and friends tested positive for Covid reached my ears I could not even bring myself to pray for them. When friends called me to pray for their close ones on the brink of death I could not either. This surprised me too since I had advocated the need to pray especially in groups to bring a solution to members' problems in the past. That too stopped when I had stopped asking of the divine long ago. I understood all was his play. I did not want to intervene. I had begun to accept everything that came my way. I encouraged others to accept too. Knowing this even the deity Karupanasamy in speaking to my family complimented me that I was abiding in the words of Agathiyar strictly. If Agathiyar imprisoned me beginning in September of 2019 asking me to go within, Ramalinga Adigal came along and stressed again the need to go within recently. They kept giving reminders.
In going within we encounter our Atma. The Atma reveals our karma. If remedies are meted out in the Nadi to displace it, going on pilgrimages and conducting rituals help soften its effects. In weeping and sobbing it is further diluted by the tears we shed. In reflecting on our karma and when we atone for our mistakes the remaining portion of it is dispersed. Then an emptiness enters us. Silence sets in. In confronting this silence fear sets in. It is frightening believe me. I have had bouts of fear for no reason come over me in the past. It lingers for some time. There is nothing I can do in these moments but to watch restlessly. Writer Balakumaran says in an interview that it is only when we face death that we see our true Self, stripped off the name, academic qualification, career, and position, and we ask ourselves who we are? In moments when what is seen during death is seen while alive, shivers run down the spine, and fear of death sets in adds Balakumaran Aiya. We come face to face with the Self. When one sees within, it is like watching death. When everything has subsided what is left is dead silence. It is frightening. But then the Siddhas want us to get on with it. They want us to meet our Atma in these moments of silence.